S14.E09: Week 9: Overnight Dates (Thailand)

[PreBabylonia]

19 hours ago, TomGirl said:

Damn, now you’ve got me craving biscuits!

The Pillsbury Dough Boy would make an excellent Bachelor, now that I think about it! Once the relationship hits the rocks, you can eat him!

10 hours ago, TomGirl said:

Neither Blake nor Garret strikes me as being very bright, and both seem immature.  I agree that Becca’s taste is questionable. I wonder if Garret’s (superficial) resemblance to her father is coloring her view of him.  As for Blake, I have no idea.  I see nothing but red flags from him!

Doesn't say very much for salesman, since they both share that occupation. I just finished my first sales job and it is quite possible it's a helpful trait.

[nlkm9]

I did read that - i figure the truth is somewhere inbetween :)

[backformore]

On 7/25/2018 at 9:59 AM, telemachus2 said:

Am I alone  (or naive ) in still believing that not every Bach/'Ette has sex with every fantasy suite roomie?  

It is kind of an icky thing, in what is essentially a competition  with Becca as the "prize.". 

(Announcers voice) For the final event in the competition, a romp in the fantasy suite!  Becca will sample each finalist's love-making skills and determine a WINNER! 

(of course the loser doesn't get to know he lost until he declares his love and gets on one knee to propose marriage. That's when he's told that he lost the sex challenge.)

[PhysNerd]

On 7/26/2018 at 12:58 PM, Ohwell said:

I think I've seen dread or a bit of terror on some of the guys' faces when Becca runs up and slaps her legs around them.  I wonder if guys actually like that.  

Becca is a big girl and these guys are just about the same height as her, so her running up to them and wrapping her legs around them is an injury just waiting to happen.  I always wonder if these guys end up with sore backs afterwards and if they are secretly icing their backs off camera?  I think they would find it cute or charming if someone tiny like JoJo ran up to them.  

[Meowwww]

On 7/26/2018 at 12:13 PM, Madding crowd said:

 

I don’t mind Blake and I think he is the only one serious about Becca. I don’t see much interest in anyone from her and I wonder if there is anything she is passionate about. I liked Colton too and think he is handsome. Guys who are virgins or are religious in any way are usually torn apart on TV so it takes a bit of courage to try it. 

Interesting point!  I like Becca, but what IS she passionate about?

[OnceSane]

Just a reminder: spoilers for the show require spoiler tags.  Thanks!

[atlanticslide]

1 hour ago, Meowwww said:

Interesting point!  I like Becca, but what IS she passionate about?

I didn't watch Arie's season and only just caught up with this season so I'm sure I missed it, but - I don't even know what Becca's job is. I have no idea what her interests are In terms of stuff she likes to do, I've heard her mention church and brunch. That's it. She seems like a nice person and I've found her rather charming at times when some of her reactions to things feel very relatable, but she seems REALLY dull. I remember Kaitlyn being unpopular around here, but she was one of the most interesting Bachelor/ettes in recent memory, which made her a lot more fun to watch.

I don't think there's anything wrong with having sex on all three FS dates. I'm struggling to even imagine what could be so "skanky" or gross about it. Assuming everyone used protection, who cares? I actually always find myself caught up in the logistics of the overnight than the sex part - do they go straight from the date to the hotel room? Is it the guy's hotel room, or neutral ground? Where'd Becca get her change of clothes (and if it's neutral ground, where'd the guys get their change of clothes too)? Do they each pack a bag ahead of time assuming that they'll be going to the FS, and it gets brought over for them or something? Where'd Becca get that flowery robe? 

[LennieBriscoe]

I'll take a wild guess on the FS topic:

A woman's having three different sex partners, each of brief "relationship" duration,  in consecutive short order,  used to be frowned upon in polite society, however hypocritical or prissy that might have seemed or might yet seem.  

Edited July 29, 2018 by LennieBriscoe

[PhysNerd]

4 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

I'll take a wild guess on the FS topic:

A woman's having three different sex partners, each of brief "relationship" duration,  in consecutive short order,  used to be frowned upon in polite society, however hypocritical or prissy that might have seemed or might yet seem.  

I personally think it's skanky for men or women to sleep with multiple people in a one week span.  It's just gross to me.  To each their own.

[saber5055]

13 hours ago, atlanticslide said:

I actually always find myself caught up in the logistics of the overnight than the sex part - do they go straight from the date to the hotel room? Is it the guy's hotel room, or neutral ground? Where'd Becca get her change of clothes (and if it's neutral ground, where'd the guys get their change of clothes too)? Do they each pack a bag ahead of time assuming that they'll be going to the FS, and it gets brought over for them or something? Where'd Becca get that flowery robe? 

Those are some interesting questions, ones I've never seen addressed on any past season, unless I missed it. Does anyone know how that works? I assume everyone has an overnight packed that PAs take to the FS since we all know by now that night is the FS night. I guess Jason had to wait for PAs to bring his overnight bag back to pack into his main bag(s) for his trip home. I hope they gave him space so he didn't have to do it in the airport lobby.

6 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

A woman's having three different sex partners, each of brief "relationship" duration,  in consecutive short order,  used to be frowned upon in polite society, however hypocritical or prissy that might have seemed or might yet seem.  

Call me hypocritical AND prissy. I prefer to think the FS dates are used to make out, then talk about real subjects. I think many people might agree with that, considering the heated blowback Nick got when he was rejected as F2 and asked why she had sex with him if he wasn't F1. (I've already forgotten which b-ette that was.) Man, he was the scourge of the earth for saying that. Although maybe that was because Nick said it and was castigated for kissing (and more) and telling. The b-ette didn't seem to catch any heat for it though.

[LuvMyShows]

1 hour ago, saber5055 said:

Call me hypocritical AND prissy. I prefer to think the FS dates are used to make out, then talk about real subjects. I think many people might agree with that, considering the heated blowback Nick got when he was rejected as F2 and asked why she had sex with him if he wasn't F1. (I've already forgotten which b-ette that was.) Man, he was the scourge of the earth for saying that. Although maybe that was because Nick said it and was castigated for kissing (and more) and telling. The b-ette didn't seem to catch any heat for it though.

It was Andi, and IIRC she caught plenty of sh*t for having had sex.

[atlanticslide]

5 hours ago, PhysNerd said:

I personally think it's skanky for men or women to sleep with multiple people in a one week span.  It's just gross to me.  To each their own.

Why do you think it's gross?

[PreBabylonia]

1 hour ago, atlanticslide said:

Why do you think it's gross?

Agreed. In 2018, I think it's perfectly acceptable, given the premise of the show. As long as they can shower in between....

That said, I probably wouldn't do it myself. I just don't think I'm made that way. I imagine I'd be thinking of my favourite when getting it on with #2 or #3. Although I could possibly see doing it with two if I really had strong feelings for both. Definitely not three men in FS for me. But some people are into that and I wouldn't judge them for it.

[phlebas]

12 hours ago, PreBabylonia said:

Agreed. In 2018, I think it's perfectly acceptable, given the premise of the show. As long as they can shower in between....

It's fine as long as everyone is on board.  But when I first heard about the Fantasy Suite / Bonk Barn / F*ck Bucket / etc., my initial reaction a kind of visceral distaste. It didn't last long -- just long enough for my brain to overcome my Bible Belt upbringing. (Ideas about sex are just one of the many things I've had to scrape off from my childhood.)

So I don't have a problem with it. I just have to occasionally remind myself I don't have a problem with it. YMMV.

[JudyObscure]

I don't think distaste for the fantasy suite episode needs to mean anyone is judgmental or prissy.  It could just mean we find such explicit evidence of something that's usually private, sort of exploitive and tacky. Seeing the couple in bed the next morning makes me instinctively want to turn away, just out of respect for their privacy.

14 hours ago, atlanticslide said:

Why do you think it's gross?

I wouldn't call it gross and  I think it's perfectly okay if it's between consenting adults, etc.  But, personally, I find sex without a feeling of being in love, however temporary, as sort of a sad, mechanical thing.

[Lamb18]

On 7/28/2018 at 10:06 PM, atlanticslide said:

don't think there's anything wrong with having sex on all three FS dates. I'm struggling to even imagine what could be so "skanky" or gross about it. Assuming everyone used protection, who cares? I actually always find myself caught up in the logistics of the overnight than the sex part - do they go straight from the date to the hotel room? Is it the guy's hotel room, or neutral ground? Where'd Becca get her change of clothes (and if it's neutral ground, where'd the guys get their change of clothes too)? Do they each pack a bag ahead of time assuming that they'll be going to the FS, and it gets brought over for them or something? Where'd Becca get that flowery robe? 

To me, it seems weird to say "I love you and want to marry you" to someone when you've just had sex with two other people  a few days ago.  In real life, if a guy did that to me he'd be out the door.

[Mabinogia]

16 hours ago, PreBabylonia said:

Agreed. In 2018, I think it's perfectly acceptable, given the premise of the show. As long as they can shower in between....

I'm actually more skeeved out by the kissing multiple people on a group date because IDK if they have brushed their teeth, used mouthwash, hell, tossed in a tic tak at least between make out sessions. lol

As to the fantasy suite, for me it depends on what is said. Does the lead tell each person they are the one to get them in bed? That is gross to me, since there is a level or deception there. If it is understood as sampling the goods to make a more informed choice I say go for it. As long as they both understand that the sex is not a sign of a deeper commitment it's all good.

Now, if it were all the same night, that gets kind of icky. But then, I'm a bask in the afterglow type and would be quite turned off by the guy checking his watch and asking if he could go now because he's got another sex appointment lined up.

Edited July 30, 2018 by Mabinogia

[nlkm9]

5 hours ago, Mabinogia said:

I'm actually more skeeved out by the kissing multiple people on a group date because IDK if they have brushed their teeth, used mouthwash, hell, tossed in a tic tak at least between make out sessions. lol

As to the fantasy suite, for me it depends on what is said. Does the lead tell each person they are the one to get them in bed? That is gross to me, since there is a level or deception there. If it is understood as sampling the goods to make a more informed choice I say go for it. As long as they both understand that the sex is not a sign of a deeper commitment it's all good.

Now, if it were all the same night, that gets kind of icky. But then, I'm a bask in the afterglow type and would be quite turned off by the guy checking his watch and asking if he could go now because he's got another sex appointment lined up.

I still remember the final 2 on Jesse palmers season, and when he let her down, she said "then what happened last night was completely inappropriate". I do think a lot of people feel sex is meaning a deeper commitment.

[PreBabylonia]

On 2018-07-30 at 4:05 PM, nlkm9 said:

I still remember the final 2 on Jesse palmers season, and when he let her down, she said "then what happened last night was completely inappropriate". I do think a lot of people feel sex is meaning a deeper commitment.

That is definitely something that needs to be discussed in the FS before they go any further. I do think one's perspective on this changes quite a bit as you get older. If you are still single (including divorced or widowed), then it is not as big a deal to make sure that you are choosing the right one, and that can include checking your compatibility in the bedroom. As long as you are using protection, of course. It would be worse to change your mind AFTER you think you've made the final choice (cough Arie). I have a few male friends that still love their wives but if they were to do it over again (or if the marriage failed), they would want to make sure that their new partner has a similar sex drive and openness to trying new things.

[Lacy4u]

On 7/25/2018 at 11:33 AM, amcfar said:

Thank you for posting this! I was trying, without any success, to remember that actor's name.

You're welcome!

[JudyObscure]

16 hours ago, PreBabylonia said:

 I have a few male friends that still love their wives but if they were to do it over again (or if the marriage failed), they would want to make sure that their new partner has a similar sex drive and openness to trying new things.

But I'll bet they would also tell you that when they were first dating their wives had a much stronger sex drive and they were much more open to trying new things. Those are things that can change drastically over the years for both men and women.  I know women whose husbands have gone from sex-every-night boyfriends to internet porn addicts who don't come to bed until three.  I guess I just don't have much faith in the fantasy suite test drive as a predictor of future behavior.

[PreBabylonia]

17 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

But I'll bet they would also tell you that when they were first dating their wives had a much stronger sex drive and they were much more open to trying new things. Those are things that can change drastically over the years for both men and women.  I know women whose husbands have gone from sex-every-night boyfriends to internet porn addicts who don't come to bed until three.  I guess I just don't have much faith in the fantasy suite test drive as a predictor of future behavior.

Yes, that's true, I've heard that as well! 

I think the Fantasy Suite is useful just to see if right now you have sexual chemistry, although I think great kissing is a pretty good indicator of how well it will go. Since most of us don't wait to consummate the relationship until marriage anyway, it probably doesn't matter. That could be one reason some of these relationships flounder a few months or a year later.