S14.E08: Week 8: Hometown Dates

[OnceSane]

Quote

After a trip to the Bahamas, Becca visits the hometowns of Blake, Colton, Garrett and Jason; Becca consults her friends about the difficult decision she needs to make.

Airs July 16, 2018.

[Armchair Critic]

Was Garrett's father doing a Chris Farley impression? Better kiss his family's hind end Becca or you will be in trouble.

[saber5055]

Okay, so I was doing other things during Garrett's HT, except I looked up in time to see her on the John Deere tractor with Chris Soules. Then I yelled 'WTH! Your ass is hanging out!" as we got the back view of her walking into Garrett's house with ... well, her ass hanging out of those shorty mc short shorts. Way to impress the 'rents, Becca. "Here are my stripper legs."

Just now, Armchair Critic said:

Was Garrett's father doing a Chris Farley impression? Better kiss his family's hind end Becca or you will be in trouble.

I missed this! Is their house "down by the river"?

[Armchair Critic]

Jason with that slicked back hair looks like a goober as we used to say. 

[DeeciePlum]

Becca does seem fairly comfortable with the families so far...

[Armchair Critic]

Is Jason's brother Darren Criss? :)

Edited July 17, 2018 by Armchair Critic

[saber5055]

Jason's hot brother just came on, and I'm all "Hey! Next Bachelor there!" Then his husband sat down next to him. Bummer, he's married.

Not sure I'd like to go on an all-you-can-eat wing contest when I first date some guy. I'd sure like to do that sitting here right now, watching this show though. Bring 'em on, a big plate of buffalo-style wings with bleu cheese AND ranch, please.

Jason knows how to play this game: "I'm in love with you." Bingo!

[saber5055]

Blake gets the Bachelor Handshake. Did Garrett or Jason? I missed it if so. Blake stands under cover while he makes Becca run to him, through snow and in heels. Nice job, douche.

Now it's a high school visit. Please. That's an auto NO THANKS if any guy wants to take me back to his freaking high school. Gah.

[SallyAlbright]

Garrett and Jason's families seemed pretty normal, not much drama for the producers to mine there! Blake just seems like a stage five clinger to me. 

[rebel2u]

15 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Jason with that slicked back hair looks like a goober as we used to say. 

I keep expecting him to say to Becca, "I have an offer you can't refuse."

I'm seeing the Stockholm Syndrome so much this season.  One girl. lots of guys, nothing for the guys to do but wait for a date.  I mean, I know this is the premise every season, but for some reason I'm seeing it more this time around.

Rather than hearing every Bachelorette say, "Family is everything to me," I'm waiting for one bachelorette to say, "I don't really like my family.  I'm looking to make my own."

[Ms Blue Jay]

33 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Is Jason's brother Darren Criss? :)

He's adorable!

[Armchair Critic]

Wasn't that Blake's mom who cheated with his English teacher and the school coach? She doesn't exactly look like the seductive type...

[Ms Blue Jay]

Becca and Jason's date was literally that scene in Happy Gilmore

 

 

Poor Blake.  He needs therapy, not a quickie marriage.  This is just like Dean all over again.  

Edited July 17, 2018 by Ms Blue Jay

[dizzyd]

Did we meet the English teacher and school coach?

I had to look up Betty Who. Why haven't I heard of her? She was good and looks very much like Pink.

[SallyAlbright]

Dammit, Kaley and Caleb are adorable. Can we hang out with them instead of Colton for the rest of the episode? He was sweet with them, though. 

Edited July 17, 2018 by SallyAlbright

[ECM1231]

I am wondering if Colton has/had someone close to him afflicted with cystic fibrosis.

[leighdear]

If Blake's mom worked at the school, was part of the tour one of the classroooms where she was banging his basketball coach?  

What a warm & fuzzy memory to go along with the school shooting.  

I just don't get these dates.  I can't remember this show being so blatantly exploitative and in-your-face trashy.  

[DeeciePlum]

10 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Wasn't that Blake's mom who cheated with his English teacher and the school coach? She doesn't exactly look like the seductive type...

Yes, I agree, and the husband she ended up with (the stepdad) wasn't anywhere near as nice looking as Blake's Dad.

[saber5055]

14 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Wasn't that Blake's mom who cheated with his English teacher and the school coach?

Yeah, it turns out to have been a workplace romance. Blake just happened to be going to school where she worked.

I looked up that school shooting. It has lots of links and a Wikipedia page. It was in 2006.

Really romantic Blake, take your girlfriend to where your mom and teacher were banging in the closet somewhere, and where a girl was murdered and a guy killed himself after taking a bunch of hostages. That's just so freaking romantic. But it does go with Blake acting like some ... well, not very mentally sound person.

And what was his big heartbreak that made him say he'd "never find love again"? I don't remember hearing about that in some big confession. Although that was the perfect Bachelor Audition phrasing to use.

9 minutes ago, dizzyd said:

I had to look up Betty Who. Why haven't I heard of her? She was good and looks very much like Pink.

I thought the same, and was waiting for Becca to yell out "Pink!" I had never heard of Betty Who either, and was surprised Becca could do a sing along.

Colton got the B-handshake too. I guess it's nothing special, so never mind. I wonder if Chris Harrison will get the Handshake on MTA.

Edited July 17, 2018 by saber5055

[leighdear]

1 minute ago, saber5055 said:

Colton got the B-handshake too. I guess it's nothing special, so never mind. I wonder if Chris Harrison will get the Handshake on MTA.

I was waiting for her to greet one of the dads that way.  

[saber5055]

Lookin' hot Colton, in that stretched-out see-through t-shirt that's hanging too long on you.

NOT.

Geezy pete, is Tia such a big deal that she has to be hashed over every week? Everyone has dated someone before. Just stop with the Make Tia Drahmah Happen.

Edited July 17, 2018 by saber5055

[rebel2u]

8 minutes ago, leighdear said:

If Blake's mom worked at the school, was part of the tour one of the classroooms where she was banging his basketball coach?  

What a warm & fuzzy memory to go along with the school shooting.  

I just don't get these dates.  I can't remember this show being so blatantly exploitative and in-your-face trashy.  

 

2 minutes ago, leighdear said:

4 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Colton got the B-handshake too. I guess it's nothing special, so never mind. I wonder if Chris Harrison will get the Handshake on MTA.

I was waiting for her to greet one of the dads that way.  

leighdear, you're on fire tonight!

[leighdear]

But wait, there's more!  Reality Steve has pics on his Twitter feed of Colton at home with his family and girls!  *LOL*  

Ok, correction: One gymnast made the cut. 

Edited July 17, 2018 by leighdear

[Jax7917]

Colton doesn't tell just anyone that he's a virgin ... just national television .. riiiight 

[Armchair Critic]

9 minutes ago, leighdear said:

Reality Steve has pics on his Twitter feed of Colton at home with his family and girls!  *LOL*

Stupid boy, thinking he could get away with that lie in this age of online information.

Tia: sick to her stomach.

Me: no sympathy.

[dbell1]

Blake got out of high school 11 years ago. Dude needs therapy. And his mother needs a makeover, unless she's in a witness protection program and that's her disguise? 

P.S. Blake's mom, shut up, you need to take several seats and stop talking about relationships.

[dizzyd]

Ok, so wtf is Tia in Paradise if she still wants Colton?

[Ms Blue Jay]

OH my goodness I am not a fan of Tia.  Or Caroline for that matter.  

[saber5055]

Now Tia decides she's still in love with Colton. I say screw you Tia, tough rocks. Maybe Colton doesn't give a fig about you. Now Becca doesn't want to "lose a friend" over a guy? Tia's no friend, Becca, she's a producer plant. She could have told Colton not to apply for this show, or told Becca to keep her grubs off.

But no, Tia won't even let Becca have a conversation with her girlfriends, she has to interrupt and ruin that too. What a beyotch.

Speaking of the girlfriends, I don't recognize any of them except Tia. Where are the nametags?

[Armchair Critic]

2 minutes ago, dbell1 said:

Blake got out of high school 11 years ago. Dude needs therapy

The cynic in me thinks he figured that would make a good sympathetic story for the show.

[Mu Shu]

Tia is really beautiful.  This whole group of women is, except the Katie Mixon one.  They make Becca seem bland and clumsy.

[Ms Blue Jay]

17 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Speaking of the girlfriends, I don't recognize any of them except Tia. Where are the nametags?

Sienne (Sp?)  She's the smart one
Kendall (Taxidermy)
Bekah  (Sp?)  She's the annoying young one
And then Caroline who claims that Becca and Tia are two of her closest friends (LOL)
Then Tia with the fake eyelashes, among other things that I won't get into

Colton to Chris Harrison:

 

Well, I'm TOTALLY shocked.  I thought that Becca would dump Blake, who clearly needs help.  

Edited July 17, 2018 by Ms Blue Jay

[saber5055]

Thanks Ms Blue Jay. I did recognize Bekah With The Short Hair. I had forgotten all about Sienne and Kendall, and don't remember Caroline at all.

LOL! Colton is asking Harrison if he needs to eff Becca during Fantasy Suites. WTH show. Maybe Becca won't even give you the invitation. Because, drah-mah/Tia and all.

If he gets a rose, it will be the last one. Any takers for that bet?

[Armchair Critic]

I think Becca was looking for an excuse to dump the virgin, Tia gave her a good out.

[dizzyd]

Surely the sex talk between Colton and Chris was rehearsed, there's no way Chris could have responded without ? if not.

[Jax7917]

This tia Colton drama would make a lot more sense if they went with a story of them hanging out several times , not just once . And if he was interested in you tia , he would have asked you on another date .. not sign up for a dating show to meet someone else . 

[dizzyd]

Please, I don't want any of these 4 to be the next Bachelor!

[saber5055]

Well, that last rose was a no brainer. She's already announced to her besties that Garrett got her first rose and he's her favorite. They should have had last rose between Colton and Blake The Crazy One.

Now we have to listen to Colton cry. Gah. She'd rather have Tia (barf) than a night with Colton. I would have kept Colton and said "See ya, don't wanna be ya Tia." But that's just me.

Tia is on BIP? I saw a commercial for that today and didn't recognize anyone.

[Mu Shu]

 Becca has a really nice athletic figure, but the way she carries herself reminds me of Tina from Bobs burgers.

oh, and I’m sorry if I’m politically incorrect, but who is the oily bohunk?

Edited July 17, 2018 by Mu Shu

[phlebas]

If I were Colton, I would be livid with Tia. Even if that's not what got Becca to boot me, I'd never want to see her again.

But if I have learned anything this season, it's that I am not Colton.

Edited July 17, 2018 by phlebas

[Ms Blue Jay]

I can't believe this fucking white supremacist Garrett gets to go to Thailand.   

[dizzyd]

TG for Thailand, something to make this season worth it.

[Ms Blue Jay]

Blake's Dad is kinda hot.  Like a Paul Bettany type.  Dayuuuuuuuuuummm.....

[Kendra143]

Tia sure delivered a bitch move tonight. A bit late to be declaring your love of your friend’s guy. Couldn’t you have told her at the beginning? (Not that I think Beccavwas going to keep Colton much longer)

[Adeejay]

Between Tia and his dad, poor Colton didn't stand a chance.

[JenE4]

Think kissing on a giant tractor is a romantic journey? Well how about kissing on the hood of a giant Zamboni???? We’ve had many kissing on a tractor moments, but I think this is the first romantic Zamboni ride In Bachelor History, so Jason for the win! Except for he and his mom thinks he’s losing, but brother (or BIL?) Darren Criss gives some Right Reasons advice, causing Jason to Break Down His Walls, and he might be gaining on Garrett just a bit.

Oh! Harlot Mama Blake was the school secretary. Well, now it makes a bit more sense how she got involved with the coach, as a coworker not as a “student’s mom.” We get to “meet” 3 coaches!! I’m guessing it’s the last one! There was a school shooting. OMG. Blake is saying he had a great high school experience. You did not! None of this sounds like a good experience! Now we are treated to a Poor Man’s Pink. But if this really is Becca’s favorite singer, good for Blake (and the producers) for arranging it. Becca tells Blake that she “loooves” sitting with his family as the best part of an amazing day; I think he’s the favorite.

WTF, Colton and Becca throwing paint in the hospital and getting it all over the floor and walls?!? Here are a couple of fun unicorn toys that should surely make up for DESTROYING the hospital “T(w)een” Center, as it was labeled. Colton is a Yes on the proposal and a No on Fantasy Suites. But what if Becca foregoes the individual rooms with the others?!?!

Which talk was better? Tia (and the others so it’s not so obvious a set up) claiming her stake on Colton after their one date—and Becca telling the camera that Colton loves HER. Or Colton asking Harrison for a birds and the bees talk? Harrison was all 47 years of this show and no one ever asked me what to do in the fantasy suites. Becca blames Colton’s dad for sending him home. I’m shocked she didn’t mention Tia again. To be continued in Paradise, I suppose.

[saber5055]

I can't imagine having to wash Jason's pillow case every morning after his greasy hair tossed around on it all night. Just a big NO to that. Leo's hair wouldn't have left any residue on the bed sheets. Jason ... that guy could slip right out of bed with all that hair grease packed on.

3 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I can't believe this fucking white supremacist Garrett gets to go to Thailand.   

Word. That is just so wrong.

[nutty1]

What family member was in the outtake at the end?

[Jax7917]

I find Blake really good looking , but his voice / personality remind me of a serial killer and Im not sure why 

[adhoc]

• I don't think Becca's gorgeous, but I think she's quite attractive, and a lot of guys would love the fact that "she's got legs up to here". 
• Was Chris Harrison trying to stifle a laugh when Colton finished asking about the fantasy suite?
• Did Colton borrow that rose ceremony suit, because yikes.
• What do you want to bet that that blue suit is Jason's best suit? The one he wears when he wants to look sharp? (Also, I really want to see Jason's hair without all the grease.)
• Was Tia really as invested in Colton as she seemed, or was she just acting that way as a favor to the show producers? (I mean, being accommodating is a sure ticket to Paradise, right?)
• Garrett actually looked well dressed at the rose ceremony. 
• Chris said "Sorry, Colton, say your good-byes" and then hurried out of the room like he had to go pee and had been holding it all this time....
• Finally, I thought Becca said that when Blake said he loved her, she "reciprocated those feelings. But he doesn't know yet." And it did not look like a voice-over to me.

Edited July 17, 2018 by adhoc