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S05.E07: Desperate Measures

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18 minutes ago, ramble said:

Now I’m picturing Sam as one of the Three Little Pigs. The one that built the straw house was the laziest. Sounds kind of right. The Big Bad Wolf would be the windy cold weather. Also, Sam does have a sad beard going on so the hair on his chinny chin chin sounds spot on too. 

And that would make Randy the brick laying pig, w/Larry being the curse-laden...er dancing pig.

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2 hours ago, ramble said:

Now I’m picturing Sam as one of the Three Little Pigs. The one that built the straw house was the laziest. Sounds kind of right. The Big Bad Wolf would be the windy cold weather. Also, Sam does have a sad beard going on so the hair on his chinny chin chin sounds spot on too. 

That reminds me, Sam frequently posts on reddit and owns up to the terrible shelter he built in season 1. Apparently he got bad info from one of the locals that took the medical team to check up on him, and had been told the winter winds weren't that bad in his area. By the time he found out the guy was wrong, it was too late to fix. 

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They wasted 2 weeks+ on the cabins, etc,  precious time when the water's warm enough for the fish to not be in the deep lakes. Those shallow rivers freeze solid, so the fish come into them no earlier than early summer and leave again in early fall.  They should have made lots of netting out of the 20x20 tarp and been catching 20+ lbs of fish per day, on average. Some days twice that.  They only have  6 weeks at most and need to secure at least 600 lbs of fish and game, or Sam will beat them just by laying around.

The shelter to be using there, once it has frozen hard, is a 4x4x8 dugout. Stuff it with grass and you wont need a fire in it. They are going to burn off the last of their bodyfat trying to cut and haul enough wood to heat those cabins!

Larry's inept, that's all. In an hour at most, he could make a basket out of willow shoots or vines, line it with a chunk of tarp, poke some holes in the tarp and presto, dipnet, sufficient to catch fish that are already hooked, at least. I'd just club them, or reach down and get them by one gill and their mouth.

He could also easily make a mousetrap  that would fix his problems in that regard, catch chipmunks.   Make a basket about  12" wide and at least  15" tall. Line it with a chunk of tarp. Run a roller stick across the top of the bucket, baited in the center of the stick.  Rig up a couple of ramps that let the rodents easily access the top edge of bucket, at the ends of the roller. They'll crawl out on the stick, fall in and drown. Make a paste out of smashed up cambium, fish and salt for bait, if you can't find anything else that will stick to the roller stick.

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You can make 2 fishhooks out of every tine on the 4-tined fishing arrowheads. So take  6 of the 9 arrows as such fishing arrows.  Take the fishing kit as 8 BIG treble-hooks, like they use to catch sharks.  Hang them 5 ft in the air, to encourage gulping.  Bait them with a salted fish-head each and tie them to a drag log. A couple of  40 lb coyotes or  an 80 lb wolf can win the show for you. Bait the snare wire (4 strands) and set it to snare deer. Hang the loop 6-7 ft in the air (depending upon the size of the deer)  18" of loop, horizontally on  3  hunks of monofilament fishline. If you can't wire it to a stout enough, tall enough tree to strangle the deer, hook the loop to a drag log. About a foot above the center of the loop, hang some shredded, salted cambium, or some other item that the deer will eat. Around each treble-hook set and snare, have lots of 6" loops of wire, held 2-3" off of the ground, on forked stakes. Have some of them horizontal and some vertical. Hook these to a drag-log, of course. The more entangled the critter becomes, the more likely you are to recover it. (before the coyotes have slobbered and peed all over it).

Edited by beatu

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Not a huge fan of Sam or Larry this season. Dave strikes me as a bit off and I just don't enjoy watching him.

Beatu: I look forward to seeing you on the show. It sounds like you would dominate.

Edited by ProfCrash · Reason: Wrong episode, removed a spoiler
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You can use the 10x10 "camera" tarp as shelter, if you rig it to come down swiftly when you see/hear the medical team coming. Or "only' have  1500 sq ft of 2" netting made out of the 20x20 tarp, saving  10x10 ft of the sheeting to use as a shelter. Until first frost, all you want or need is a simple tarp shelter.  you can, however, be cutting and piling the grass into one big "shock". If you do this properly, only the top  3-4" will get wet. Mongolia only gets about  10% as much rain as Vancouver Island and the grass is everywhere. You should also, of course, assemble the forked poles that hold up the ridgepole, said pole and the perlins.  Also, use the Cold Steel shovel to dig some small diameter, 2 ft deep holes, to ensure that the spot you pick for the dugout has enough dept of dirt for the 2 ft deep dugout shelter. Set this up where the sod chunks (1.5 x  1.5 ft square) are easily cut and stacked into walls 1 ft all around your 2x4x8 dugout). Then have the ridgepole be a foot higher than the tops of your "walls". Put sod on the perlins, then about a foot of densely packed grass, to provide insulation but very little weight) then cover the grass with loose earth. cover the earth with the 10x10 tarp, weigh down the tarp with wood and stake its edges. Stuff the dugout with dried grass. with the sleeping bag, you certainly wont need a fire in the shelter, and might well not even need the bag, given that you have  2 sets of clothes, 2 sets of longjohns, a wool sweater, a beanie, gloves, mittens, a hoodie.  Stuff dry grass between all those layers and you wont need the sleeping bag, if you can think of something more valuable to take, from the limited list of gear.  Make the entrance just  1.5x1.5 ft and (mostly) plug it with the camera case and backpack (stuffed with dry grass. Plug the holes with loose dirt,  and have pointed stakes embedded to slow down any wolf or bear that wants to get at you and your stored food. Then you can use the slingbow to drive an arrow into his chest/face, and have your spear ready, too. Fill the rainsuit legs and sleeves with water.  with your bodyheat and all that grass, it wont freeze, and neither will  your dried food, unless you want some of it to freeze. If the latter is the case, simply put the tarp containers of food outside of the grass, near the  vent holes. Before you hole up (for a week at a time, preferably, if you can control your mind) dig a 2x2x4 ft hole. when you need to melt/boil ice/snow, simply line the hole with a chunk of tarp or hammock, pile in the snow/ice and add the heated stones.

 

they might let ONE guy like me on the show, but never 2 such people. They want the show to end at  2 months and NEVER go past  3 months, cause it cuts into their profit margin at that point. I've applied for every season since the first one. But I'm not female, transgender, or a minority and I've got no sob story. So I dont have any chance of getting onto the show. This show is very carefully set up to NEVER go past  4 months, and almost never past  3 months, by somebody who REALLY knows what's what.  Then the casting people carefully  select the weakest, most inept people that they can find.

Edited by beatu

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If you catch enough fish, you can first boil the cambium, toss away the water, then fry the stuff in fish oil.  It can then be about  1/3rd of your diet, providing a change in taste and texture,  some fiber and carbs, without locking  up your guts. Fish and game offer no carbs and the lack of carbs ruins your ability to think (worth a hoot).

Edited by beatu

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