Category Is...Quotes

[DollEyes]

Here is the thread for Pose quotes, such as Bianca's telling Damon coming out to her mom as transgender:

 

"Mother, that was no strange woman sneaking through your halls. What I am is a woman. Not your son but your daughter. "

Post the fiercest Pose quotes here.

[latincoffee]

13 hours ago, DollEyes said:

Here is the thread for Pose quotes, such as Bianca's telling Damon coming out to her mom as transgender:

 

"Mother, that was no strange woman sneaking through your halls. What I am is a woman. Not your son but your daughter. "

Post the fiercest Pose quotes here.

I can't wait til' next week until Blanca goes to her families' place. That scene looks sad. 

[hatchetgirl]

 I know i don't have it right but at the end when Pray says...

"Rise up, triumph!"

Yep tears.  I'm  lame...

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Matt: Stan Bowes. Bowes - what kind of, what kind of name is that?
Stan: We're Irish-Italian. What's your background?
Matt: I was born in Rye, then Riverdale, Princeton, Wharton MBA, just like the boss. If you're worried your prick's too small 'cause you went to Hofstra, it isn't. You know why Trump picked your resume out of all the others? You're from New Jersey.
Stan: Usually, that's a detriment.
Matt: Yeah, not here. I'm the unicorn in this place. Trump is from Queens. He likes people who speak the same language as him.

Angel: This is classy.
Stan: Where do you usually go?
Angel: Backseat usually suffices.
Stan: Didn't know that was an option. People really do that?

Blanca: I want you to be healthy. So make sure y'all taking y'all Flintstones multivitamins.

Blanca: Well, you're never going to find the place where you belong if you keep on running away.

Pray Tell: Pull up. Work harder. Triumph. If not today, maybe tomorrow.

Damon: Please don't do this. It's embarrassing.
Blanca: We do not have the luxury of shame.

Edited June 7, 2018 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Elektra: You are the Cracker Barrel to my Gucci and St. Laurent.

Damon: Did you take a bath in cologne tonight?
Ricky: Too much?
Damon: It's the right amount if you're trying to cover up the stench of a dead body.

Ricky: I don't get the hype around Janet. She ain't Michael.

Pray Tell: Children, I repeat - the category is Dynasty, not goddamn Falcon Crest! We don't need no spinoffs up in this bitch!

Matt: If you want to sip chardonnay on the Upper West Side with a bunch of intellectuals from Columbia, get in the Times. If you want to get invited to the best parties, walk past the line at Palladium, meet celebrities, get your name in the Post.

Matt: Do you love [Angel]?
Stan: I don't know yet.
Matt: You don't. You're just not tired of fucking her yet.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Pray Tell: A happy man knows his place.

Blanca: A resolution ain't nothing without a friend to kick your ass to make sure you stick to it.

Helena: I have two tools I use to get students to reach their potential - encouragement and shame.

Matt: It's like a super power. I can tell just by looking at you how you groom your pubic hair.

Elektra: You're stupid but not incapable.

Elektra: Fuck Barbie!

Helena: There's difference between inspiration and distraction.

Jewelry store guy: Between you and me, I always say to spend more on the gift for the goomah. If your wife's not happy, she isn't going to be calling your house at 2 in the morning
Stan: I don't know what you're talking about.
Jewelry store guy: Sure. I'll wrap it in a separate box.

Matt: I like to come into Jersey to do my Christmas shopping. The sales tax is two percent lower here than in  the city.

Patty: You've kissed all those supermodels and beauty queens and you're still not very good at it.

Pray Tell: If God has given you the eyebrows of Brooke Shields, show the motherfuckers off!

Edited June 18, 2018 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Elektra: Is the category Bore Me to Death?

Candy: I thought you were injecting me with affordable silicone, not gold.

Elektra: You're my daughter and daughters live to serve their mothers.

Elektra: I forgot that I was a unicorn. My man wants me just as I am and so do I. Why mess with perfection?

Candy: This is ballroom. Categories were created so that we could live out our fantasies. We get to be who we want to be and this is the image I want to project.
Elektra: That image is shattered and distorted. If you're going to serve a look, it must be suited to you. It must be streamlined and flattering. Most of all, it must be real.
Candy: As real as that wig on your head?

Candy: I need to look like a Coke bottle but with big titties.

Elektra: You're rebellious and usually boring, but I still have use for you.

Elektra: You're not the first girl I've seen go down this particular avenue of dumb dumb. Why didn't you come and talk to me about this first? I would have sent you to the right people.
Candy: Why the fuck would I want to talk to you about anything? The only thing you like to talk about is you.

Doctor: It's never a bad decision to choose yourself.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Elektra: What is that on your lips, Lisa? Oh, it's just your favorite lip gloss - SPERM. Why don't you low rent, bad handjob giving hookers run back to the pier where you belong with the rest of the city vermin?

Blanca: Why are you back? I thought your yuppie white boy got you a fancy apartment.
Papi: She mad at him because he lame.
Blanca; No, don't tell me. You asked him to leave his wife and he said no.
Angel: Not exactly. He's committed to her and that's the problem. He needs to know I ain't no side chick and if he wants Angel, he needs to commit - full time.
Blanca: So let me get this straight. To prove how mad you are, you moved out of your luxury co-op to come back here to this creaky ass apartment.
Angel: Yup. I'm playing hard to get.
Blanca: And how does that affect him?
Angel: He's going to miss me so bad, he's going to beg me to come back.

Pray Tell: That's the burden of having a parent. They haven't a clue what they're doing. And every mistake they make chips away at us. As we get older, we gotta glue the pieces back together. And we can blame them, but here's the thing - they're human. They make mistakes.

Matt: Why would I be happy about it? Do you fucking know me at all?

Pray Tell: This is a category for real women only. If you ain't Diana fucking Ross ready to sing the theme to Mahogany, don't you step foot on that floor!

Patty: I believe you. I just don't trust you.

Elektra: What the fuck are you doing here?
Nurse: Is there a problem?
Blanca: No problem. That's just the way she speaks when she's happy.

Blanca: You're rich. You're beautiful. You pass. You think that makes you better than us.
Elektra: That's because I am.

Blanca: You may be a terrible mother, but that don't mean I can't be the loving daughter I want to be.

Pray Tell: Kindness doesn't cost you anything.

Blanca's relative: I can't believe Mateo grew up to be a transvestite. Pobrecito needs a better wig.
Pray Tell: A child lost her mother today, and I would expect someone who espouses the word of the lord to have a little bit more compassion. She's not defined by that wig on her head any more than you are by that frizzy perm.

Papi: Yo, I can call my homeboy to jump whoever you want for a Benjamin.

Edited July 2, 2018 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Ohwell]

Elektra:  Your hair is so short you could curl it with rice.  (I can't remember exactly what she said but I do remember the rice part.  LOL.) 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Angel: I was the one who broke it off. It felt like he wanted to keep me, like a doll. That's all I ever wanted. But when I had it, I just felt like I wasn't nothing until he decided to come home and play with me.
Patty: I understand.
Angel: You going to leave him?
Patty: We have children. I'm a mother before I'm a wife. 
Angel: Maybe that's the problem. 
Patty: The problem is my husband is a weak man who lies. I let him lie. His lies let me keep pretending.
Angel: Pretending what?
Patty: That all I ever wanted was to be Mrs. Stan Bowes. I still love him.
Angel: Me, too.
Patty: Did he ever tell you he loved you?
Angel: Yes. Do you think he can love me and love you at the same time?

Patty: But how can a woman be a drag queen?
Angel: I'm a transsexual.
Patty: I don't believe you.
Angel: Why, thank you. That's a compliment, you know.

Patty: Prove it.
Angel: What, you want to see my dick?
Patty: Yes.
Angel: I'm sorry for what I did to you and I'm here to talk, but I got boundaries.

Pray Tell: Did you buy those pants on sale? Cause at my house, they'd be 100% off!

Elektra: That's adorable. I didn't know they made trophies in travel size.
Blanca: You never fail to gag me. I couldn't believe my eyes when you swept Hot Male Body tonight.

Blanca: Where'd you come from?
Darius: Heaven.

Pray Tell: I know your dumb ass ain't laughing. 
Papi: Yo, I ain't dumb.
Pray Tell: No? Spell Evangelista.  
Blanca: That's not necessary. 
Pray Tell: What's not necessary is you being up in my business. Are you a g-string? No! So stay out of my ass.

Pray Tell: Why did you invite me over here? '
Papi: Cause your music's wack.

Pray Tell: So you remember those thirsty young hos I've been telling you about? The House of Evangelista? They had a little get-together last night. They lured me in with empanadas and then tried to tell me it was a motherfucking intervention because I've been playing "Love is the Message" too much. I didn't give the magic of that song away to those ungratefuls. I didn't tell them what it was like in 1980 when we danced all summer to that song. There wasn't none of this AIDS mess going on. We were truly free - free to love, free to fuck, free to be our gay ass selves in this beautiful little shithole of a town. They'll never know that feeling - what it's like to love without worrying that you're going die, or worse yet, that you're going kill somebody. I don't know what's shittier - having that freedom taken away or never having had it to begin with.

Judy: You try to enjoy that beautiful day out there, Pray Tell.
Pray Tell: Can I ask you something? Since it's such a goddamn beautiful day. Does it have to be so drab in here? So awful?
Judy: Oh, so you want me to be an interior fucking decorator on top of keeping AIDS patients alive?

Darius: You know what this shirt is made out of?
Blanca: What?
Darius: Boyfriend material.

Candy: You know I could sell a dildo to a nun.

Blanca: You fucked [Darius]?
Lulu: Girl, we all fucked him.

Matt: The guy you're pretending to be doesn't exist.

Damon: Get ready for another three hours of "Love is the Message."

Pray Tell: I said banjee, not prison.

Pray Tell: I had [Costas'] body cremated. I'm going to scatter the ashes along Fifth Avenue a little bit at a time. You know, he loved to window shop, so I figured why not let him do it for all eternity?

Edited July 9, 2018 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Elektra: There are a few rules I'd like to institute to assure that my stay here is up to par with my standards of living. Rule number one: no sucking your teeth. Rule number two: only mother smokes in the house. No gum chewing, no late night music, no sleeping in after 1pm.

Lulu: I need to be in a house where I can express who I am, not be the expression of someone's delusion.

Lulu: We can bring in new girls that would elevate our status. Classy girls.
Candy: Yes, no hood rats like in Blanca's house. We got to be all refined and shit.

Angel: You thought living on the fringes of society was gonna be some kind of picnic and roses?
Stan: I just thought it would be easier than being a fraud.
Angel: That's cause you're a white boy from the suburbs.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Elektra: Turns out, the only thing I'm qualified to do is give orders and look good.

Elektra: This must give you some satisfaction. You won.
Blanca: None of us win when one of us gets beat down. Even someone who had the beatdown coming to them. Why do you always reduce everything down like that?
Elektra: Because I don't trust you.
Blanca: Your problem is you don't trust anyone.
Elektra: That's my golden rule. Trust gives people power over you.

Elektra: if it's not too much trouble -
Blanca: It will be.
Elektra: I'd love if the boys could paint the room. This color looks like a shit-stained diaper left out in the rain. Winter lilac is more my color.

Pray Tell: It's called fashion, bitch.

Pray Tell: I see audacity is back in style.

Blanca: You may be positive, but I know that ho inside of you is thirsting for some fine-ass trade.
Pray Tell: That is reformed ho to you, thank you very much.

Blanca: You might want to splurge on some Nice 'N Easy. Them gray hairs ain't doing you no favors.
Pray Tell: Shut up, bitch! Everybody likes a little smoky up there now and again. Daddies are in.

Elektra: We're having lunch?
Blanca: No. You're applying for a job.
Elektra: Indochine? No! I cannot work in the service industry.
Blanca: Oh, but you can dance at Show World?
Elektra: I do not have the same skills a common person has. Do you expect me to wash dishes with these hands?

Elektra: What if they ask me to tally people's bills? I didn't stay in school long enough to learn how to operate a calculator.
Blanca: Bitch, they ain't asking you to be a mathematician. All you got to do is look pretty and judge people.

Pray Tell: I'm really, really glad you agreed to dinner.
Keenan: Well, I wanted to ask you out for a while, but I've always been too chickenshit to approach you.
Pray Tell: Was it my stunning beauty that scared you off? 
Keenan: It was that big mouth. Look, we can't all be larger than life. You're intimidating.
Pray Tell: That's the first time I've heard that. So what do you want to do with your life? I'm certain that bartending can't be the dream.
Keenan: Okay, judgey. If you must know, I'm a sculptor. Bartending is just how I survive while I wait for some gallery to realize I'm a genius.

Elektra: You're clearly hard of hearing. Unless you have a reservation this evening, you will not be seated. Period. And for future reference, Indochine does not cater to the bridge and tunnel crowd.

Angel: You cleaning in here again?
Blanca: Otherwise we get roaches.
Angel: It's New York. There's always cockroaches.

Blanca: You are going to be a mother to all these children, and many more. And no white boy from the suburbs is gonna rescue you.

Elektra: Apparently I'm the only one who dresses for dinner in this house. Don't you have linen napkins?
Damon: No. And everybody in this house helps set the table.
Elektra: These utensils don't match.

Damon: [Ricky and I] auditioned for Al B. Sure's next video.
Elektra: WHAT?! I love Al B. Sure! Holy shit! He is the Marvin Gaye of our time. Dick and I made love to him at least twice a week. Ooh, nothing or no one is a panty-dropper like Al B. Sure!

Damon: This is a real great opportunity for me and Ricky.
Blanca: Okay, listen, sex on tour is gonna feel the same as it did back there in that room.

Stan: Still weird having to ring the doorbell at my own house.
Patty: I can think of some weirder things I've had to get used to.

Blanca: I want to challenge the House of Ferocity. I can't have them coming for me.
Elektra: I have never known you to back down from a battle. But before you do that, let me check some bitches.

Lulu: What are you doing here? Is there a Tired Old Bitches on Geritol category tonight?
Elektra: I'm here to walk with my house.
Lulu: Not much of a house with only one bitch in it.
Candy: More like a studio apartment.

Pray Tell: Miss Veronica Ferocity serving us mother-of-the-bride realness, while Ricky and Lil Papi Evangelista are giving us sexy bad boy hanging out down at Port Authority!

Pray Tell: Miss Candy.
Candy: Yes?
Pray Tell: Do you have category dyslexia? No. No, no, no, no. See, I know that we have had our differences when it came to you walking body. But then you actually went out and bought a body and earned your place. Flexibility and rhythm cannot be bought. You are not a dancer. Have a seat!
Candy: I was just getting warmed up!
Pray Tell: Honey, this is not a dress rehearsal. This is the goddamn final performance.

Stan: You remember that night in the hotel room? The first night we met, and you told me you just wanted a home and someone to take care of and to be treated like a real woman. Let me give you all that.
Angel: What about your kids?
Stan: We'll figure it out. They can come stay with us on weekends. You like kids, right?
Angel: Not really, Stan.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Blanca: We've been underground for how long?
Elektra: About twenty years - since Crystal LaBeija lost one too many titles to white girls.

Judy: What's your headcount? This is my 452nd memorial.
Pray Tell: 210.
Judy: First one to get to a thousand gets a free toaster.

Pray Tell: Look at these unquenchable hoes thirsting for dick. Since when did funerals become a new cruising spot?
Judy: Oh, she's found morality!

Judy: Interesting choice. Why is he dressed like a flamenco dancer?
Pray Tell: I can get over the outfit but that makeup is terrible. He always preferred a nude matte lip.

Pray Tell: My black ass does not need to join your group of preppy white queens in ill-fitting Gap chinos!

Blanca: Did you put oregano in my sauce?
Lemar: Your sauce? It's Ragu. This shit came out of a jar, bitch!
Damon: What's wrong with oregano? I thought it was healthy to eat more vegetables.
Pray Tell: Oregano is an herb, not a vegetable, darling boy! Who is educating these children on their nutrition?

Elektra: Mother Blanca, this house is suffering from a major deficiency in terms of closet space. I do not understand how you expect me to just toss my finery on one of these flea-filled reclamation projects like a savage.

Pray Tell: You know that I am as stubborn as an old drag queen with five o'clock shadow at three in the morning.

Elektra: Somebody please hospitalize me so I can have a decent meal.
Blanca: What? Excuse me? You know that Friday night dinner starts at 8pm sharp. And you didn't even set the table this week.
Elektra: How much effort does it take to throw down some paper plates?
Blanca: Why is it so hard for you to be nice? Why can't you say, "I'm sorry" or "I was late" or "I made a mistake"?

Elektra: I'm joining your house. You're welcome, bitches.

Edited June 12, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Scarlett45]

I never feel bad for a man. -Electra Abundance 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Blanca: Congratulations, girl.
Elektra: Save your well wishes for someone in need of validation, hag.

Ms. Norman: I don't normally rent to anyone darker than my Aunt Lily after a week's vacation in Palm Beach.

Blanca: Angel has been helping me with my new look. What do you think?
Pray Tell: If I liked it any more, I'd be straight.

Elektra: Something in me keeps bringing me back to those girls I raised. But why? Why do I keep lowering myself by associating with you tired old raggedy reminders of my failure as a mother?

Pray Tell: Elektra, we're in the middle of a category.
Elektra: We're not here to walk.
Candy: Then why are you pulling stunts, bitch?
Elektra: We're making an entrance.

Candy: It's hammer time, bitch. You're about to get that fourth facelift.

Elektra: All I wanted to do was introduce my house. Aren't  worthy of that considering all the glory I've brought to ballroom?
Pray Tell: The council has spoken. NO, BITCH.

Elektra: Quake in fear, children. Wintour is coming.

Pray Tell: Could somebody please take this bitch back to kindergarten so she can learn the difference between feathers and foam?

Elektra: I said in alphabetical order! Chanel, Dior, Fendi. Get it right!

[SimoneS]

On 7/2/2018 at 5:35 AM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Blanca: You may be a terrible mother, but that don't mean I can't be the loving daughter I want to be.

One of my favorite lines of dialogue from the show. Such a wonderfully loving scene.

[DollEyes]

From "Worth It," the final quote from the late great Hector Extravaganza: 

"Blood does not a family make. Those are relatives. Family are those with whom you share your good, you bad & ugly and you still love one another in the energy, Those are the ones you select. ”

Edited June 22, 2019 by DollEyes

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Blanca: Candy's on the pole?
Elektra: How else is she going to earn a living?

Candy: You hos kill me, coming to me like I'm Dear fucking Abby. Run this back again. You gagged a man and he died? He white? Oh, bitch, you fucked.

Candy: Your problem, Blanca, is you think doing the right thing is always the right thing to do.

I've never had [a client] die on me. Pass out, start puking all over himself, start crying about his wife - now that happens all the time, but full on dying? That is some fucked up shit.

Blanca: You're late.
Elektra: The sun rises when it's ready, Blanca.

[ElenaFR]

On 6/26/2019 at 4:21 AM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Blanca: Candy's on the pole?
Elektra: How else is she going to earn a living?

Candy: You hos kill me, coming to me like I'm Dear fucking Abby. Run this back again. You gagged a man and he died? He white? Oh, bitch, you fucked.

Candy: Your problem, Blanca, is you think doing the right thing is always the right thing to do.

I've never had [a client] die on me. Pass out, start puking all over himself, start crying about his wife - now that happens all the time, but full on dying? That is some fucked up shit.

Blanca: You're late.
Elektra: The sun rises when it's ready, Blanca.

The entire interaction was awesome. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Pray Tell: Lamarr! Lamarr Evangelista, no, is it, yeah, Wintour! Lamarr Wintour, you little house hopper!

Pray Tell: Oh, here we go. This bitch again.

Pray Tell: I have to say, bitch, you do have nerve. You really do have nerve. But what are you doing?  The category is called lofting. It is a dance category for actual dancers. We've been down this road before. You are not a dancer, you are not a voguer, and quite frankly, I"m concerned about your health. Breakdancing might burst that silicone and you don't want to go back to that flat ass you used to have, do you?

Pray Tell: This isn't another intervention, is it? I've been doing real good with my drinking.

Pray Tell: These skinny queens are going to experience some fat bitch food tonight.
Friend 1: That's disgusting.
Friend 2: This guy at the yoga center said eating a pound of butter every day with some mineral oil can help lower the HIV viral load by flushing the virus from the gut.

Nancy: If you're willing to eat a pound of butter a day, it's obvious that you're investing in improving your numbers. Why won't you go on AZT?
Pray Tell: Because I prefer a more holistic approach!
Nancy: Well that shit ain't gonna work.

Manhattan: One of the children suggested we add a lip sync category.
Pray Tell: I'm shutting that shit down right now. If they want to go do that, they can go on down to the Village to one of them gay bars and pretend to be Patti LaBelle for all them white boys in their blue jeans. What is real about flapping your jaw to a cassette tape? That is not how you do a ball. That is how you do ventriloquism.

Pray Tell: Did you follow me here, Carmen San Diego?

Pray Tell: What are you going to do? Stab me in broad daylight? Do it, bitch!

Pray Tell: I assume she's a scorpio.

Electra: There's an old couple out there looking like George and Weezie partaking in our refreshments.

Edited July 10, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[QueerGirrl]

That George and Weezie line had me rolling.  I love Electra. 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Latisha: I need you to add one more class this week. I've kicked gang bangers off the basketball court and shooed homeless men out of the pool, no problem. But these bridge and tunnel bitches are terrifying!

Missy: Hey, do you think you can teach my husband to move his hips like you do?
Damon: Is he black?
Missy: No.
Damon: Then sorry! No can do.

Jazmine: I always thought, given the opportunity, that [Madonna] and I would be best friends.
Elektra: Please. Like that specimen of perfection would be desperately seeking to spend a moment with any of you peasants.

Blanca: It's natural to miss someone, even if that someone is a lowdown dog of a cheater.

Elektra: I won't coddle you. I don't nurture. And I'll never give inspiring pep talks that end in hugs. But I am a provider and I need Wintour to yield results. I expect excellence, nothing less, so go out and make this boy over. You have twenty four hours and I am not lifting a single finger.

Shadow: Is that Candy's hammer?
Elektra: Her prized possession. And if she were here, she would use it to break Damon's motherfucking foot! It's the only way to ensure Ricky's victory and my topless sunbathing vacation in Capri with Miss M.
Cubby: So you want us to just stroll up on Damon and smash him in the foot?
Elektra: Do I have to explain everything?! You get close and then you throw it at his foot as hard as you can and in the chaos that follows, cry and say how sorry you are and that you had just applied Vaseline intensive care lotion to your hands and the hammer slipped out of them.

Lemar: I know I'm betraying Mother Elektra, but this bitch has gone too far this time.
Lil Papi: She put a hit out on Damon.
Blanca: A hit? On his life?
Lemar: No, his foot.

Edited July 17, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Pray Tell: I said back to the future, not Sinbad after Weight Watchers.

Frederica: I can't stand being told what to do so acting wasn't for me.

Die, bitch.
xoxo,
Candy

Blanca: I'm trying to book talent and Johnny Mathis's manager isn't even returning my calls.

Papi: Sorry to hear about your dyslexia.

Edited July 24, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Damon: Maybe we can try to put some flyers around or something.
Latisha: Flyers won't put Vogue back on the charts. People have moved on. We need to cancel next week's class. It's just not worth it for three students. I've had some requests about learning the moves from the U Can't Touch This video. Any interest?
Damon: Girl, stop. Hammertime?
Latisha: It's just until the next big thing comes along. Remember, - white folks like to visit, but they never move in.

Pray Tell: Brunch is for some alcoholic bitches that ain't got to work.

Blanca: [Lulu] said her dehydrated look came from her asthma inhaler.

Blanca: You're late.
Damon: It's ten in the morning.
Pray Tell: School's in session. Have a seat.
Ricky: What are we learning?
Blanca: Self respect, responsibility, motivation.

Ricky: How are we going to find a condom that's big as a house?
Pray Tell: You got a week. Figure it out.

Damon: Okay, so what's on the brainstorming list so far?
Ricky: One - buy a thousand condoms and glue them together. Two - use a thousand boxes of plastic wrap from Key Food to wrap around the house.

Angel: This is Esteban.
Papi: I know it's official when you use my government name.

Papi: Angel, you can't do that. You know how Blanca is about drugs. Shit, I was homeless for, like, a month for selling weed, mama. Imagine what she would do if she heard we was sniffing coke. 
Angel: Did you not hear him? 
Papi: I can't understand what he's saying.
Angel: Pharmaceuticals is stuff doctors prescribe. It's basically medicine. Why would they give it to them if it's going to hurt them?
Papi: So you're telling me it's medicine, like the vities we've been taking at home?
Angel: Yeah.
Papi: Shit, why didn't you say that, then? Come on.

Elektra: Is there a Ritz-Carlton or even a Marriott available?

Pray Tell: Don't judge. These are my creams and moisturizers. My routine is the only thing that keeps me sane.
Ricky: Damn, that's a lot of product, Pray. This your secret to looking so good at your age?
Pray Tell: You complimenting me and insulting me in the same breath?
Ricky: Nah, I ain't mean it like that. I'm just saying you look good, that's all.
Pray Tell: Thank you. And yes, this is my secret recipe. Skin is like leather. It must be moisturized to remain supple.

Ricky: Chris is a hungry bottom ho.
Pray Tell: Okay, okay. Enough of that. There's way too much bottom shaming going on in our community. Nothing wrong with a man getting what he wants -  receiving intimacy.

Damon: The news is here. 
Nancy: I called them. TV stations love angry gays. No point doing this if the world don't see it.

Elektra: So what's the plan for when 50 rolls up?
Pray Tell: Simple. We take the fall.
Elektra: Oh, no, I am not posing for a mug shot with that horrid lighting.

Pray Tell: This is what being an adult looks like. Ain't no different than paying your electric bill or doing your taxes.
Ricky: I ain't never done taxes.
Pray Tell: Do I have to teach you children everything?

Edited August 2, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ricky: These [pizza rolls] are loaded with preservatives.
Damon: We used to eat them all the time. You said that they were better than filet mignon.
Ricky: Well, my palate has become sophisticated.
Damon: Oh, so Miss Elektra has finally let you eat.

Dominatrix: Do you have an extra pair of nipple clamps I can borrow?
Elektra: What do I look like to you, Rent a Center?

Elektra: If they don't grow strong enough to rebel, to reject you, to move away, then you're not raising men and women. You're creating parasites.

Edited August 7, 2019 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Angel: Do you ever stop complaining?
Elektra: NO.

Angel: I've never been on a road trip before. I feel like we're about to go on a Chevy Chase movie.

Angel: If this is about tucking, I got some extra duct tape.

Elektra: Why did I pick the one street that hasn't gentrified yet?

Elektra: Joe, I must ask you - where are you hiding the adult beverages?
Joe: There should be some in the wine cellar.
Elektra: It's empty, you idiot!

Elektra: Please tell me you're not still speaking of black Hasselhoff!

Elektra: God may have blessed you with Barbies, a backyard with a pony, and a boyfriend named Jake and an unwanted pregnancy that your father paid to terminate so you could go to college and major in being a basic bitch. None of these things make you a woman. Your uniform of ill fitting J. Crew culottes, fake pearls, and fifty cent scrunchies cannot conceal the fact that you do not know who you are.

Elektra: You're insane! It's unsafe for girls like us to walk off in the middle of the night with a stranger. You know you can't trust a man once the sun goes down.

[Scarlett45]

5 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Elektra: God may have blessed you with Barbies, a backyard with a pony, and a boyfriend named Jake and an unwanted pregnancy that your father paid to terminate so you could go to college and major in being a basic bitch. None of these things make you a woman. Your uniform of ill fitting J. Crew culottes, fake pearls, and fifty cent scrunchies cannot conceal the fact that you do not know who you are.

I love this one!!

Did anyone catch the exact quote Elecktra said about “they kill us not because they hate us, but because of what it means to love us.”..........is that right? 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Pray Tell: You shouldn't have to die to know what peace feels like.

Lulu: Girl, will you stop fussing with the lights? You are not an electrician.
Elektra: This ward is grim enough as it is without wasting our beauty away on bad fluorescent lighting. Maybe if I check the wattage, I can get a bulb that will cast an amber glow.
Angel: Girl, you're going to get electrocuted.

Elektra: These cheap bodega flowers attract insects. Insects carry disease. Blanca's ill enough.
Pray Tell: Would you calm your bougie ass down?

Elektra: I have better things to do than watch category after category of boring butch queens.
Pray Tell: The women always take center stage. You have face. You got runway. You got realness. And everybody comes to see you all.
Elektra: And never forget it. We built ballroom yet all we have are three categories and no rightful place on the council. It's a boys' club now run exclusively by you and the other male MCs.
Lulu: That's right.
Papi: That ain't right, Pray. That ain't right.
Elektra: You don't know what it's like. You put your best foot forward in your most coveted finery only to be met with the glaring eyes of men, sitting on their perch, squinting and inspecting and tallying. Why do they have the right to pass judgment when they've never walked a day in our heels? I didn't join ballroom for flaming homos with no style to look down on me.

Elektra: Cubby, you walk is impeccable. Now fix your face. You shouldn't look constipated.

Pray Tell: These heels are too fucking high for me to be concerned with posture.
Elektra: I am in six inch heels. You're in the sort of heel I wear when I'm asleep or suffering from food poisoning. Take tinier steps.
Pray Tell: I can't! Maybe if the heel was wider or shorter, something to hold my weight better.
Elektra: Pray Tell, if your heels were any wider you would be in clogs. Aren't you the one always reading the girls for wearing anything less than four inches?

Elektra: Enough cackling, hyenas.

Elektra: Enough with the emotion. It's time to judge some bitches.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Elektra: Fucking Giuliani fucking with my goddamn coin.
Blanca: Shutting them places down ain't going to stop people from having sex or keep them safe.
Elektra: Fuck people! What about me? How am I going to maintain my luxurious lifestyle?

MC Council: We still need $576 to pay the House of Khan their prize money.
Pray: What happened to all that money you was waving around?
MC Council: They were $1 bills.

Pray: Show me your dick!

Elektra: Fun fact - my sugar daddy had season tickets to all [OJ's] games. I was asked to stop attending because he couldn't keep his eyes off me.

Blanca: What you think? Dangles? You're right. I'm gonna do me a Jody Watley hoop.

Blanca: I didn't know I was dating Theo Huxtable.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Pray: I don't need an etiquette lesson, especially not from you.
Nancy: Fuck etiquette. How about basic manners?

Elektra: The category is not dictator realness.

Elektra: I don't know. Something's missing.
Ricky: Yeah, air conditioning. I'm so hot and out of breath and my knees are killing me.
Elektra: Oh, stop complaining. Let the hellish temperatures fortify you.

Lulu: I'm thinking about calling the UCLA on them.
Angel: UCLA?
Lulu: That organization that be fighting for people's rights. You know what I'm talking about?
Angel: You mean the ACLU?
Lulu: Bitch, it's the same fucking thing. It's the same letters in a different order, that's all.

Elektra: This is not a brainstorming session. I have a vision and it does not include you lip syncing in a bad wig to a sad song sweating profusely like a washer woman.

Elektra: Daughter, mop your sweaty brow. We need to have a heart to heart.

Lulu: I haven't lost that much weight. It's just five pounds.
Elektra: On diet and exercise alone?
Lulu: Mmm hmm.
Elektra: Who do you think you're fooling, chunkarella? You think I don't know you've been seduced by the pipe? You look like you're deficient in vitamin D and shea butter.

Elektra: Why didn't you tell [Christopher's parents]?
Blanca: Because I shouldn't have to spill all of my tea the first time we meet.
Angel: You're right. And we're not judging you.
Elektra: I am! Ever since you were a starving street walker in a store bought shake and go wig, you had an inner confidence.

Pray: Don't you make me come up in this apartment and find you ODed.
Castle: You know that I would go to the Plaza Hotel if I was going to off myself.

Lemar: What the fuck, Tyrone? There's no way the Evangelistas have been better than Khan all night. I want a recount!
Pray: It's not an election, dumbass.

Blanca: Why don't you relax?
Pray: You want me to relax, pour me some wine.
Blanca: How about having something to eat?
Pray: I told you I don't eat after 9. I drink wine for the antioxidants.
Elektra: Have you looked at your complexion? Think of your skin care routine if nothing else. Grey is not a skin tone. You have hit epidermal rock bottom.

Elektra: Dear Pray Tell, I understand that you are a traumatized person because of how poorly your life has turned out and that the pain of being a disappointment to the world has made you psychologically distorted.
Pray: You of all people want to talk about somebody being psychologically distorted? Cause you're a short tempered, insecure narcissist.
Elektra: A narcissist who GLOWS, bitch!

[Empress1]

Pray: If I wanted a crackhead's opinion I'd walk out on the street and ask for it!

[Hiyo]

Elektra: Ask for Blanca and don’t be startled. She’s got a good heart under that unfortunate wig.

 

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Elektra: Miss Elektra depends on no one. Dependence is weakness. I'm going to make my own fortune. I've got a mind for business.
Friend: Sounds like your dream is to be a white man.

Elektra: I am stressed out enough as it is being surrounded by all these men in polyester.

Candy: You think they're over in China ordering out for a burger or pizza and fries?
Lulu: Pizza is Italian. It's not American.
Angel: I heard Marco Polo brought pizza back to Italy from China.
Blanca: No, that's spaghetti, sweetheart.
Candy: I'm just saying we should all go to China and open up a burger and pizza and fries joint and make a killing selling take out.

Candy: Did you say something?
Lemar: No.
Candy: I thought somebody without a hammer said something.

Tasha: It wasn't all bad when we were together. We had some good times here. We could work something out, the two of us...if you could just tone it down a little.
Elektra: No, I don't think so. My whole life is dedicated to toning it up, about settling for more.

Elektra: I am sorry that you are only able to look upon me with fear and disappointment. I'm sorry that you won't allow yourself to see me. The pain of your disapproval will no longer distract me from going after everything I deserve in this world.

Papi: So we're just going to dump a body in the river and hope nobody sees us, huh?
Ricky: No body, no crime.
Blanca: We're not dumping him in the river. We're giving him a burial at sea.

Pray: The category is "once upon a time," not "prom night massacre."

Edited May 10, 2021 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jada: Is this real silk?
Pray: Yes, of course! You think I wear rayon?
Jada: Shall I pull out your high school yearbook? You weren't always a swan.

Pray: I'm here to talk about my health.
Charlene: Is it the sugars?

Pray: I don't need your prayers. I need your love.

Latrice: God's word is immutable. Divorce, homosexuality, pedophilia.
Pray: No, no, don't put those words beside each other. Your god made me this way and there is nothing wrong with me.

Pray: Y'all raised some smart, well-behaved children. I've raised a few myself, although I doubt any of them can recite Bible verses. Although they do know all the lyrics to every Whitney and Janet song.

Ebony: That's what marriage is all about. You take the good with the bad.
Pray: So you just turn a blind eye to the fact that your husband is gay?
Ebony: I know my husband. And I trust him. And I don't want to rock this boat. But I do need your help. I'm asking as an old friend. Did you notice how there's five years between Cynthia and the baby? That's because he wouldn't lay with me in all that time. I know how you two were together back in our school days. And I hear how Vernon talks to you. And I see how you look at him. I want to make him feel good.
Pray: Ebony, are you asking me how to pleasure your man?
Ebony: Yeah.
Pray: Sweetheart, your husband is a homosexual.
Ebony: No.
Pray: He likes men.
Ebony: No.
Pray: There's nothing you can do to change that.

Ebony: He is good, strong, God-fearing man. The good lord wouldn't give Vernon something he couldn't overcome.
Pray: He is just as God made him. It's not a choice. But you are making a choice. Why?
Ebony: Because I believe in marriage! How many marriages that aren't as strong as ours are going to break apart if ours breaks apart?
Pray: Your marriage is not strong. It's built on sinking sand. I know that your church teaches you that there's no higher calling than to stand by your man. Men created those lies so that they could act out and then come back home whenever they wanted to.
[Ebony points of a picture of Jesus on the wall]
Ebony: What does that mean?
Pray: That even in their own churches, Black folks worship a white man.
Ebony: Jesus didn't absolve our sins through joy and peace. The crucifixion was torture and pain. That's the lord telling us that life is violent. Life is cruel. Life hurts. But the more we hurt, the closer we are to God.
Pray: Your god sounds like a real asshole.

Pray: You know what I love about you people? Every one of you has a secret that you think the other people don't know about but everybody knows everything.
Charlene: Because peace is more important than truth.
Pray: It's because the lies make you feel alive. It's the lies that keep the fires inside of you burning. They're only things in this godforsaken town that are real.

Jada: So you basically came into town for a farewell performance?

Jada: What are your final wishes? I know you've been thinking about this already. You want a parade or something?
Pray: No, the opposite of that. I want to die peacefully at home. And then I want to be cremated.
Jada: Where do you want us to put your ashes?
Pray: I want you to buy a bunch of heart lockets and fill them with a little piece of me and give them to all my friends and one for you and Aunt Latrice and mommy and then you'll all have a piece of me wherever you go. Y'all ain't never getting rid of me. Oh, there's this bossy bitch named Elektra who's going to think that she deserves one of these lockets. I want you to tell her that I said from the grave that she can kiss my entire ass. The only good thing about dying is I won't have to listen to her bull shit anymore.
 

Edited May 18, 2021 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Hiyo]

Blanca: So is this what sisterhood looks like? A bunch of birds clipping each other's wings?

Pray Tell: The legendary Elektra Abundance. Looking like a tall glass of lemonade. Giving us daffodil realness. Giving us sunflower. Sun power! Making the little things grow.

Elektra: I look too good not to be seen.

Elektra: Trust gives people power over you.
Blanca: Both you and I know sleeping at a fast food booth and working the sex trade, you won't live out the year. You're gonna end up down at the morgue. Okay, you want to be a beautiful corpse. Fine.
Elektra: I don't like being needy. I hate myself for it.
Blanca: You got a lot to hate yourself for, but needing help ain't one of them.

Derek: Oh, you're talking big now because your girls are here?
Blanca: I'm not looking to be somebody's plaything. I want romance. I want to fall in love. I deserve that. Not some bumped up boy toy.
Lulu: Girl, you ain't missin' out on anything. Derek's like a vacation. He just never lasts long enough.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Elektra: How many bedrooms?
Real estate agent: Three.
Elektra: I'll have convert one into a walk-in cedar closet.

Real estate agent: Interest rates are down to 9%.
Elektra: Borrow to buy? Puh-leeeeze. I'll pay cash.

Elektra: Years ago I went to a psychic who told me I was the reincarnation of Cleopatra. I said, "Then why am I still eating at Roy Rogers?"

Elektra: I'm currently eating caviar daily. It's full of B-12 vitamins which keeps my mind sharp so I can read a bitch.

Elektra: I was destined to have more coins than Scrooge McDuck.

Elektra: The mafia was wonderful to work with!

Elektra: I have become the Madonna of the phone sex industry.

Lulu: I got me a new man.
Angel: Who is he?
Lulu: Jerome.
Angel: Jerome? The bouncer from the strip club?
Elektra: The pipe must have really affected your critical thinking skills.
Lulu: Why can't y'all just be happy for me like a family for once? Why can't you be happy for me?
Blanca: That's right. We need to support her, not judge her.
Elektra: Oh, please, I'm not falling for this poorly written monologue. I know what clean looks like and it don't look like you.

Elektra: Darling, this is an honor more important to me than my 1104 trophies which are currently in storage right now because they clash with my new furniture.

Blanca: [Angel] looks like a Puerto Rican Lady Diana.

Mafia guy: The new call center in St. Louis is doing double the business we expected. We were thinking about expanding into Canada.
Elektra: Horny has no borders.

[Hiyo]

Elektra: You don’t have to accept us. You just have to take our money.

Elektra: I have seen my fair share of real men and I can assure you I am not looking at one right now.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Papi: In the 80s, the Mets were good but the Yankees sucked so I rode hard for the Mets. But now the Yankees are good again and the Mets suck so we ride for the Yankees.

Beto: You're going to be mad.
Papi: Sometimes you're going to have to tell me stuff that might make me mad, but you shouldn't be afraid of that.
Beto: I miss mommy.
Papi: Why would that make me mad?
Beto: Because when I talk about her, I feel like I'm going to cry.
Papi: So cry. You think that men don't cry? I've seen Michael Jordan cry and he's the most manliest of men. A real man ain't afraid to love. He ain't afraid to be hurt. He ain't afraid to forgive.

Lulu: Who cares if [your marriage] is legal? We make our own rules. You and Papi do not need the city's approval to prove your love is real. You wedding is meant for you and your man to make that commitment in front of those that you love, and that's it.
Angel: You got a good point.
Elektra: That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. Sure, your love is real but so is your extravagant floral arrangement, your one of a kind custom wedding gown, your army of bridesmaids, oh, and let's not forget your historic venue. None of these things are for show or symbolism. You need to do everything you can to make sure that your marriage is as real as the cold hard cash I put down to pay for it. I will not settle for some bull shit commitment ceremony!

Papi: Y'all taught me what it means to be a man. Y'all are real men because you gotta be tough to love who you want when the whole world tells you something's wrong with you.

Papi: I see the questions in your eyes. I know what's weighing on your mind. You can be sure I know my part because I'll stand beside you through the years. You'll only cry those happy tears and though I make mistakes, I'll never break your heart.
Christopher: Is he really reciting the lyrics to "I Swear"?

Edited May 31, 2021 by ElectricBoogaloo

[Demian]

On 5/24/2021 at 9:29 AM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Elektra: Years ago I went to a psychic who told me I was the reincarnation of Cleopatra. I said, "Then why am I still eating at Roy Rogers?"

Brava to this one, mainly because of the callback to Paris Is Burning, but also because there was a Roy Rogers in my little podunk Pennsylvania town when I was growing up, and the sandwiches from Roy Rogers were delicious.  And that's really why Elektra was still eating there.

I mean, I'm pretty sure.  After all, she does have a taste for those apple pies.....

Edited June 2, 2021 by Demian

[Scarlett45]

On 5/31/2021 at 7:34 AM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Papi: I see the questions in your eyes. I know what's weighing on your mind. You can be sure I know my part because I'll stand beside you through the years. You'll only cry those happy tears and though I make mistakes, I'll never break your heart.
Christopher: Is he really reciting the lyrics to "I Swear"?

I did NOT hear Christopher say that! Thank you for sharing the quote.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

10 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I did NOT hear Christopher say that! Thank you for sharing the quote.

It made me laugh so hard (partly because I was thinking the same thing)!

Edited June 3, 2021 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Christopher: The study is flawed if it's only including white people. It's not only biased. It's not scientifically sound.

Judy: I like the look of terror in your eyes. It tells me you're actually going to do something.