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Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

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On 5/30/2021 at 1:56 PM, JustHereForFood said:

never go wash their hands,

As the pandemic showed, at least in America, the number of people who don’t routinely wash their hands is staggering. 

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On 5/30/2021 at 3:57 PM, Zella said:

I've only lived in one apartment complex, and I did have someone walk in. The landlord had a pest control person do monthly inspections. I was only home for it once. I was sick and heard someone knocking on my locked door, and I didn't answer because I was not in the mood for anyone and was not even entirely sure it was my door being knocked on. Then the next thing I know my door gets unlocked and some strange man walks in my apartment. And I was like WTF?! And he was just as startled to see me as I was him. My yappy Chihuahua was even shocked into silence and just gaped at him. LOL

In your state is your landlord not required by law to inform you in advance that someone will be entering your home?

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4 minutes ago, janie jones said:

In your state is your landlord not required by law to inform you in advance that someone will be entering your home?

I'd been told there would be these monthly things when I first moved in. I didn't get a notice about it every time it was scheduled to happen. It's been several years ago, so I honestly don't remember all the details. but I assume there was a regular schedule for it to happen (like every first Monday), and I just happened to be home that day when I wasn't normally. 

Edited by Zella
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In my case, they sent an email when I had already went to bed. So the guy who was supposed to fix the *doorbell* (really pressing issue) just entered in like he was supposed to. Not his fault. My bedroom door was closed, so he had no way of knowing. My trusty doggo woke me up. I let him finish the job. I have no idea why the landlady came in later. 

She's nice enough that I didn't get pushy and just asked for notification earlier in advance. One of the problems I have with rentals is when the landlords don't even live in town, let alone nearby. Things like this happen. Also it's absurd to have to mail in the rent and not have a dropbox. I don't really care she got an eyeful because she's taking on the risk coming in unannounced. 

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I notice often that minor characters end up with names that aren't terribly likely to happen.  Case in point - a teenager on a contemporary show having a friend named Susan or Linda.  The writers are using names that were probably popular when they were teens themselves.  If they're trying not to date themselves by using Crystal or Brandon or Tyler I get it so maybe stick with classic names like Mike and Beth.

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Only on TV does a law enforcement agent, while engaged in a shootout with criminals, remove the remaining ammunition from their weapon and dramatically announce to their partner they only have 1 or 2 bullets left.  Just once I'd like to see one of these idiots get shot by a criminal taking advantage of the fact that the officer voluntarily disarmed him/herself during an active gun battle.  

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Or announcing loudly they are out of ammo period. You’d think the villains would all start shooting in the direction of the voice that statement came from, but...

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Doctors should be warned that if they accept a position out in the middle of nowhere, or if they volunteer in a third world country, they will be kidnapped, sometimes at gun point, and taken somewhere where there is a person who is critically ill or wounded or giving birth. 

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1 hour ago, Shannon L. said:

Doctors should be warned that if they accept a position out in the middle of nowhere, or if they volunteer in a third world country, they will be kidnapped, sometimes at gun point, and taken somewhere where there is a person who is critically ill or wounded or giving birth. 

Either that or they might have to worry about wandering moose like Joel Fleischman did in Northern Exposure (1990-1995)

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You know what would be a good medical drama? - Mafia doctor. Mobsters always have someone they can go to if they're shot, but you never see it from the doctor's pov. How did they get there? You never see the FBI trying to RICO a doctor. 

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9 hours ago, Hiyo said:

Or announcing loudly they are out of ammo period. You’d think the villains would all start shooting in the direction of the voice that statement came from, but...

TV villains are very polite. They even wait their turn when a group of them are fighting off a single foe. It would be unseemly for them to swarm the hero and kill actually em. That is also why they give their big "this is why I did it" speech, to give the hero a chance to catch their breath, or sneak up and kill the villain. TV villains know they are fighting a losing battle so might as well be polite.

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3 hours ago, DoctorAtomic said:

You know what would be a good medical drama? - Mafia doctor. Mobsters always have someone they can go to if they're shot, but you never see it from the doctor's pov. How did they get there? You never see the FBI trying to RICO a doctor. 

 

2 hours ago, DoctorAtomic said:

Well, we've been rebooting the shit out of everything so let's do this one. 

Well it is sort of being done if my hunch is correct. A new show on FOX called The Cleaning Lady is about a woman who comes to the US to get medical care for her son.  She has to take a job as a cleaning lady and ends up working for the mob. 

The twist is that she was a doctor in her home country before coming here.  I suspect she'll be doing more for the mob than scrubbing toilets.

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12 hours ago, Hiyo said:

Or announcing loudly they are out of ammo period. You’d think the villains would all start shooting in the direction of the voice that statement came from, but...

Whenever they hear that, villains always approach in person.  Personally, I would lie and say I was out of ammo and wait for them to come and then shoot them.  You know, on the off chance, I'm ever caught up in a shootout.

Although it is funny, having been hooked on K-drama's lately, whenever they have a shooting, the characters' response is usually something like, "Where are we?  America?"

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Every woman on TV will always have smoothly shaved armpits and legs. Doesn't matter if she has worked on the most important case of her career and barely slept and eaten for days, or wears long sleeves and trousers and viewers only see her when she changes in private. Or if she has been trapped on a deserted island for weeks with no shaving supplies, or is in a period drama from a time in history when shaving was not common in that area. Women on TV don't grow body hair.

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3 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

Every woman on TV will always have smoothly shaved armpits and legs. Doesn't matter if she has worked on the most important case of her career and barely slept and eaten for days, or wears long sleeves and trousers and viewers only see her when she changes in private. Or if she has been trapped on a deserted island for weeks with no shaving supplies, or is in a period drama from a time in history when shaving was not common in that area. Women on TV don't grow body hair.

Or they are like Alyssa Milano and think THIS is what is meant by armpit hair and not shaving them.  

https://www.instagram.com/p/CPwNGPih-u9/?utm_medium=copy_link

 

I can barely see any hair there. 

Not to mention last year she claimed to be LOSING all her hair to covid.  Now she is a rebel for having some armpit stubble.  

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1 hour ago, JustHereForFood said:

Every woman on TV will always have smoothly shaved armpits and legs. Doesn't matter if she has worked on the most important case of her career and barely slept and eaten for days, or wears long sleeves and trousers and viewers only see her when she changes in private. Or if she has been trapped on a deserted island for weeks with no shaving supplies, or is in a period drama from a time in history when shaving was not common in that area. Women on TV don't grow body hair.

The one exception I can think of was Sally on "3rd Rock From The Sun".  I think it only lasted one episode, and it was her choice to stop shaving, but she definitely had hairy pits.  

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21 hours ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

Or they are like Alyssa Milano and think THIS is what is meant by armpit hair and not shaving them.  

https://www.instagram.com/p/CPwNGPih-u9/?utm_medium=copy_link

 

I can barely see any hair there. 

Not to mention last year she claimed to be LOSING all her hair to covid.  Now she is a rebel for having some armpit stubble.  

Totally agree with this. And Alyssa Milano is a nice lady imo, but she loves getting attention however she can get it. 

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I love how when someone spends the with someone else for the first time, whether it's a one night stand, or not long after they begin dating, the person whose house it is is up making breakfast for the other one.  Typically, we see the one in bed get up without the help of an alarm, so the one cooking has no idea how long the other person will sleep, but they always have bacon and eggs nice and warm (usually they're still cooking), almost ready for them to eat.

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5 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

Typically, we see the one in bed get up without the help of an alarm, so the one cooking has no idea how long the other person will sleep, but they always have bacon and eggs nice and warm (usually they're still cooking), almost ready for them to eat.

It's the smell of bacon and eggs cooking that wakes you up without an alarm...

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Don't forget there is always freshly squeezed orange juice as well.

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It is astonishing to me how many oranges it takes to make one glass of juice.

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2 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

I love how when someone spends the with someone else for the first time, whether it's a one night stand, or not long after they begin dating, the person whose house it is is up making breakfast for the other one.  Typically, we see the one in bed get up without the help of an alarm, so the one cooking has no idea how long the other person will sleep, but they always have bacon and eggs nice and warm (usually they're still cooking), almost ready for them to eat.

I always figured they were planning on waking the other person up.

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3 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

I love how when someone spends the with someone else for the first time, whether it's a one night stand, or not long after they begin dating, the person whose house it is is up making breakfast for the other one.  Typically, we see the one in bed get up without the help of an alarm, so the one cooking has no idea how long the other person will sleep, but they always have bacon and eggs nice and warm (usually they're still cooking), almost ready for them to eat.

That's true....never thought about it before. 

2 hours ago, ABay said:

It is astonishing to me how many oranges it takes to make one glass of juice.

https://youtu.be/K8Lp4fLrh-M

 

 

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6 hours ago, Moose135 said:

It's the smell of bacon and eggs cooking that wakes you up without an alarm...

That smell somehow makes it through the door, but the noise of the cooking or coffee machine doesn't.

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4 hours ago, janie jones said:

I always figured they were planning on waking the other person up.

If anyone woke me up before I needed to get up, that would guarantee no more sex.

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And no one has morning breath

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Indeed.  That's why I love an old bit from Janeane Garofalo, about, after sex, becoming like a bartender at closing time:  "Okay, let's move it out.  You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here."  

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I'm amazed they always happen to have everything needed to make French toast and other stuff for the next morning. They never just ran out of bread and their eggs expired? Or is going to the grocery store required before going out on a date? 

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36 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

I'm amazed they always happen to have everything needed to make French toast and other stuff for the next morning. They never just ran out of bread and their eggs expired? Or is going to the grocery store required before going out on a date? 

While the chef comments about his skill since there was only  beer in the fridge 

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9 hours ago, Moose135 said:

It's the smell of bacon and eggs cooking that wakes you up without an alarm...

It used to work for Michael Scott.

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Was watching always sunny where they do an intervention on frank after their uncle dies.  Mac is trying to bang the aunt and tries to do the breakfast thing, fails miserably.   Squeezed oranges all over, burnt good, kitchen a mess, everything about this trope messed up. 

 

Plus she won't bang him. 

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1 hour ago, andromeda331 said:

I'm amazed they always happen to have everything needed to make French toast and other stuff for the next morning. They never just ran out of bread and their eggs expired? Or is going to the grocery store required before going out on a date? 

They'd be SOL in my house.  It would be like "You've got a choice of cereal or Eggo waffles. Help yourself."

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1 hour ago, Shannon L. said:

They'd be SOL in my house.  It would be like "You've got a choice of cereal or Eggo waffles. Help yourself."

I once offered a guy stale, dry cereal. Yes, it was a ploy to get him to leave.

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2 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

They'd be SOL in my house.  It would be like "You've got a choice of cereal or Eggo waffles. Help yourself."

I love cereal. Depending on the cereal I may never leave. 

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5 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

I love cereal. Depending on the cereal I may never leave. 

Cat Chow?

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3 hours ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

Was watching always sunny where they do an intervention on frank after their uncle dies.  Mac is trying to bang the aunt and tries to do the breakfast thing, fails miserably.   Squeezed oranges all over, burnt good, kitchen a mess, everything about this trope messed up. 

 

Plus she won't bang him. 

He had better luck with her sister and also didn't try the breakfast thing with her. I hesitate to call it a win for either of them, but that's sort of Mac. LOL 

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A, um, gentleman once offered to make me an omelette.  I said "thanks, but I hate eggs."  "Okay," he said, "I'll make French toast".  

That should have been my first clue. 

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19 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

I love how when someone spends the with someone else for the first time, whether it's a one night stand, or not long after they begin dating, the person whose house it is is up making breakfast for the other one.  Typically, we see the one in bed get up without the help of an alarm, so the one cooking has no idea how long the other person will sleep, but they always have bacon and eggs nice and warm (usually they're still cooking), almost ready for them to eat.

And if they didn't get up and take all that time making breakfast, they could HAVE SEX AGAIN and then just go out for breakfast, or something. If the sex was that great, wouldn't you want to have it again as soon as you could?

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3 hours ago, Quof said:

A, um, gentleman once offered to make me an omelette.  I said "thanks, but I hate eggs."  "Okay," he said, "I'll make French toast".  

That should have been my first clue. 

Was the sex good at least?

 

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2 hours ago, ratgirlagogo said:

And if they didn't get up and take all that time making breakfast, they could HAVE SEX AGAIN and then just go out for breakfast, or something. If the sex was that great, wouldn't you want to have it again as soon as you could?

Playing the long game. 

But for a TV show been there done that move the plot along.

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On 6/7/2021 at 1:56 PM, JustHereForFood said:

Every woman on TV will always have smoothly shaved armpits and legs. Doesn't matter if she has worked on the most important case of her career and barely slept and eaten for days, or wears long sleeves and trousers and viewers only see her when she changes in private. Or if she has been trapped on a deserted island for weeks with no shaving supplies, or is in a period drama from a time in history when shaving was not common in that area. Women on TV don't grow body hair.

Plus immaculately applied makeup when they wake up, generally after a night of wild sex

 

16 hours ago, Bastet said:

If anyone woke me up before I needed to get up, that would guarantee no more sex.

This reminds me of the Mother's Day when my narcissistic (ex) husband WOKE ME UP because he was so proud of himself for cooking breakfast.

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Obviously he wasn’t that good of a cook, since the smell of the food being cooked should have been enough to wake you up.

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2 hours ago, Hiyo said:

Obviously he wasn’t that good of a cook, since the smell of the food being cooked should have been enough to wake you up.

Either that or I was so sleep deprived (toddler + infant) that nothing would wake me except an idiot.

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19 hours ago, Katy M said:

Cat Chow?

Throw in some Lucky Charms marshmallows and I might just give it a shot, since you're clearly not going to make me any French toast. lol

The one thing that always amazes me about mornings on TV is how much time these people have before work/school. As someone who is not in any way an early riser, I am lucky if I have time to put on some makeup before running out the door, forget about making a full breakfast, having a deep and meaningful conversation about anything (I'm more the grunt and nod type for the first few hours of the day). It's not just that they have all this time, it's that they have all this time in the daylight. For half the year I get up in the dark because of daylight savings. 

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