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S05.E01: The Break Up Bunch Part 1


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Cameran prepares for the birth of her baby; Shep confesses to the downfall of his relationship following his quest to find love; both couples, Craig and Naomie, and Austen ad Chelsea, have called it quits; Kathryn celebrates her second year of sobriety and finally has a place of her own near her children; Thomas has a new love interest and all of Charleston is buzzing about what will happen when she finally meets Kathryn.   

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(edited)

I don’t like any of these women, the men either.  

Believe it or not I liked Landon.  

Shep’s aging frat boy routine is wearing thin.

Baby Mama Kathryn looks better with shorter hair, but she wants Thomas back and it is pathetic to see her so thirsty.

Edited by Neurochick
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Kathryn Dennis is a pretty girl but she has the worst fashion sense.  Her shorter hair is cute but that blonde isn’t the best on her in my opinion.

I don’t think it was the best idea for Thomas’ new girlfriend to go to the barbecue in what looks like lingerie.

Pat Altschuz has a new boyfriend who is apparently loaded.  She should write a book on catching a man, a wealthy man.

Finally I know Charleston has turned into a drinking town, but Shep and Craig seemed to be sipping on something even in the butcher/deli shop.

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11 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I don’t like any of these women, the men either.  

Believe it or not I liked Landon.  

Shep’s aging frat boy routine is wearing thin.

Baby Mama Kathryn looks better with shorter hair, but she wants Thomas back and it is pathetic to see her so thirsty.

or as Kathryn said.... "dehydrated!

No one came across particularly well this episode. Craig and Shep still bicker like an old married couple and now Austen is team Shep. 

Thomas' new sidepiece couldn't have looked more like a hooch (imo) with those booty shorts for the party. She should have worn one of the dresses if she wanted to be Switzerland in the never ending Thomas/Kathryn drama. She's coming in with guns blazing! 

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14 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I don’t like any of these women, the men either.  

Believe it or not I liked Landon.  

Shep’s aging frat boy routine is wearing thin.

Baby Mama Kathryn looks better with shorter hair, but she wants Thomas back and it is pathetic to see her so thirsty.

I liked Landon too.

It's refreshing to admit that outloud.

But my favorite will always be Gizmo.

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49 minutes ago, ivygirl said:

I don’t think I can handle these people anymore. 

Austen, dudebro. If you invite an ex to your party, and she sees you hanging all over HER FRIEND, she’s not being unreasonable or weirdly clingy if she tells you she needs to distance herself. She’s protecting her own self, which she is well within her rights to do. It’s not some kind of strange moral failing on her part. And then implying that the “door is ajar” with Cheltsie? You don’t get to pick and choose when Cheltsie is “your option.” 

I hope she’s 100% disgusted and doesn’t date him again. 

Told y'all - another wolf in shep's clothing.

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12 minutes ago, Emmeline said:

Kathryn Dennis is a pretty girl but she has the worst fashion sense.  Her shorter hair is cute but that blonde isn’t the best on her in my opinion.

Agreed. I watched a few minutes of last season’s reunion before this episode and was horrified all over again by that red monstrosity she wore.

That said, I did love that one-shoulder black and white top she wore in one of her talking heads this episode.

8 minutes ago, dosodog said:

 

But my favorite will always be Gizmo.

#TeamGizmo4Eva

I can’t believe they didn’t address who got custody of him in the breakup! 

At least I now know how to pronounce La Croix. Thanks Nomi!

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(edited)

I actually thought that was the best Whitney ever looked! 

I never minded Landon as much as others. I did tire of her weird valley girl accent she had going on but as a cast member she wasn't terrible. 

Kathryn looked healthy except for that crazy bruise she had on her arm. I bruise easily and had a really bad stick at the dr's office the other week and bruised pretty bad but nothing like Kathryn's! But, I guess if she's getting weekly blood draws her arms are bound to look like crap.  I hope she keeps her shit together for her kids sake but also to "rise above" and show Thomas what's what. I'm not a Thomas fan but have had to begrudgingly take his side the last few years when it comes to Kathryn. I'd love for her to prove everyone wrong! 

Edited by Mountainair
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(edited)

Ashley is a joke. She motioned Thomas over in that L.A. bar because she knew exactly who he was! She was ready for her reality-TV closeup. 

Nice booty shorts for a party, esp with the baby mama in attendance. Kathryn is nuts but Ashley is a bitch. Guns blazing indeed. 

Danni always gets pushed aside. She said all of three words about her breakup and we had to move right on to Kathryn.

Meanwhile, Naomi certainly knows how to get massive screen time. Just sayin’-Naomi seems pretty bitchy. So does Chelsea. These chicks are hardasses. 

So Austen is a lazy cheapskate like Craig. Neat. Remember Craig always “forgetting” his wallet?? Ew. 

Edited by Sage47
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Where is my favorite cast member Gizmo? I hope that there is a whole episode of his life now and moving on without "daddy" Craig, his future goals and aspirations,  does he have a fur girlfriend, any further house hunting, how does he get around in the garden now without the wheelbarrow, does he like some catnip or appetizers before dinner?

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20 minutes ago, Bronzedog said:

Do any of the men on this show work?

A big NO would be the answer to that. Omg. These guys are all losers, as far as I am concerned. Throw JD in there too. He is gross. Thomas's new gf is definitely seeing dollar signs when she looks at him and possible fame on a reality show. Really thirsty. Horrible outfit. 

I would have liked to hear more about Danni's breakup, but she probably didn't want to air all of that. She dated that guy for quite awhile and then the wedding was called off a couple of weeks before it was to happen. 

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(edited)
22 minutes ago, Duke2801 said:

Kathryn Dennis is a pretty girl but she has the worst fashion sense.  Her shorter hair is cute but that blonde isn’t the best on her in my opinion.

For someone so naturally beautiful, Kathryn sure overdoes everything style-wise. From Day 1 her hideously gaudy fashions and stylings have always been so damned EXTRA, just like her personality when she has her expletive-laden, explosive temper tantrums. And she needs to stick to a more natural, elegant red shade that doesn’t clash with all the excess makeup she slathers on as well.

How about that melodramatic ending with the theme music and slow-mo? Da fuq was all that mess about?? Has the series finally jumped the shark to the point of yet another potential Kat-tantrum being the highlight of the show???

Needs more Patricia!! I love that snobby old bitch so much. She’s just gotta teach lessons on how she ensnares these wealthy fellows; she does have quite a few good tips in her book, although let’s be honest: money usually marries money.

Whitney acts older than his mom; must be all that meditation. I miss the douchey Chanel guitar-playing/shameless strumpet-whoring snarky Whit of seasons past.

T-Rav seems really happy with his hot new nurse/actress, so good for him. She may be thirsty AF, but at least she appears skilled/smart enough to know how to keep Thomas wrapped around her finger. Take note, gold-diggers.

I’m kinda loving the gradual unraveling of JD and his messy current state. I always figured he was an asshole cheater wrapped up in a jolly good ol’boy package.

Shep and Craig should just shack up and be a couple by this point. Lord knows they bicker like an old married couple.

I didn’t mind Landon, but I don’t miss her. She never really fit in with the other gals, just like S1’s Jenna. Chelsea seemlessly joined this cast too; nice to see that she, Naomi and Dani are such a close pack of strong gals standing up for themselves. They may be bitchy, but just look at the gross dudes they have to deal with as single women; that’d embitter most single gals after a while.

Austen’s current state is disappointing, but certainly not surprising. Sad to see that he’s getting the shitty second season edit after such a great good guy edit last season.

Cameron is pregnant and cranky...Zzzzzzz....

Edited by Sun-Bun
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I don't trust Kathryn's motivations for wanting the nanny gone.  I wonder if she's considered how the kids might be attached to the nanny and might really suffer to have her let go and just out of their lives.   I don't think things like that occur to her.  And apparently, Thomas didn't think of it either. 

The guys on this show really aren't appealing to me. I think Naomi may have it right.  

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Wow, TRav sure thinks with nothing but his small head - his new woman might as well have been wearing a sign saying I WANT CASH & TO BE ON TV. TRav is a total dumbshit.

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T-Rav is just a nasty perv., do not react Kathryn (too late according to previews).

No suprise about JD and his business debacle and subsequent divorce.

Austin is in the shit bird seat this season.

Damn, Whitney looks worn out in his sweats outfit. 

Shep, pull yourself together, the Peter Pan image is no longer working for you.

Craig ???

I hope that Kathryn gets a better edit this season if she does have her self more together.

Looks like Drunkie-O has found her next sponsor, err...husband.

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That girls talk really needed Cameran to make it watchable.  They just bitched and bitched, we get it, you broke up with your loser boyfriends, good for you!  Naomi was tired of Craig just sitting around sewing so she kicked him out and now he drives a KIA, great!  I don't think Cheltsie and Austen were ever dating but he really wanted to so he dated someone else to make her jealous?

Surprisingly, Shep and Whitney seemed to have their stuff together in this episode, but Cameran is sorely missed and I'm guessing will be MIA for most of the season.

What was Ashley wearing?  It's an evening dinner party not an afternoon at the beach. I bet the mosquitos loved her.

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I was surprised that Ashley had several Lilly items, including the shorts outfit, right down to the shoes. Lilly was Kathryn's jam when she was a 20-year old college girl at the beginning of the series. I wonder if it was a subtle dig or just coincidence. Nah prob coincidence and trying to fit in. I don't know. I'm thinking everything is calculated with that girl and it's only been one episode.

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Most important question:  Who got custody of Gizmo?  This is what we care about.

Glad to see that Katherine continues to be sober.  She's following the 'plan' for her kids.  I like the shorter hair.  Not sure about the colors.

Good for Elizabeth for saying 'enough' with JD's spending of 'her' inheritance.  I've always liked her.

Let's face it.  Shep, Whitney, Austin, Craig and Trav are all immature men.  Ok.  Kind of losers.  I did enjoy the bickering over the smoker.  None of them knew what they were doing.  At least Craig was willing to google.

Congrats to Ashley for being a nurse....but moving cross country for a man, you're hungry. 

Bye Landon.  Don't miss you and your voice.  Best wishes for sucess in LA.

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1 hour ago, Thumper said:

The new girlfriend shouldn't have listened to Thomas regarding what to wear to the party.  

Holy crap!  How is he in a jacket and slacks and she is wearing short shorts and a tee?

JD - I need to jump down the rabbit hole and see what is new with him and his business.  Nice try with the sob story.  It was hard to take crap at work and then get more at home?  Obviously your work and your crap is what did you in.  

20 minutes ago, breezy424 said:

Good for Elizabeth for saying 'enough' with JD's spending of 'her' inheritance.  I've always liked her.

I know right?

Craig just can't let anything go can he?  I did agree with him that using the tongs from raw chicken should not be used again.  That's why we always have a dishpan of hot soapy water on hand by the BBQ.

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Watching those dummies Googling "how to grill" AS THEY'RE GRILLING killed me. Craig seemed high or sedate in some weird way. I'm kind of glad Naomi followed through with her threats and is moving on. She and Craig weren't right for or happy with each other. But Craig is probably hella bummed he lost his free rent! Hm... T Rav's new chick-- yuck. TOTALLY dehydrated. And what was JD really up to? Interesting we get his version of events before Elizabeth's, who I am more ready to believe. 

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1 hour ago, Sun-Bun said:

How about that melodramatic ending with the theme music and slow-mo? Da fuq was all that mess about?? Has the series finally jumped the shark to the point of yet another potential Kat-tantrum being the highlight of the show???

Needs more Patricia!! I love that snobby old bitch so much. She’s just gotta teach lessons on how she ensnares these wealthy fellows; she does have quite a few good tips in her book, although let’s be honest: money usually marries money.

Whitney acts older than his mom; must be all that meditation. I miss the douchey Chanel guitar-playing/shameless strumpet-whoring snarky Whit of seasons past.

I’d watch the heck out of The Patricia and Gizmo Show, with sporadic appearances by Chanel Guitar Whitney.

As to the bolded question? Yes. Yes, it has.

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It was quite interesting that the nanny didn’t let Kathryn hold her own son.... Kathryn has many skeletons. It was very noticed last season how unbonded she seemed to be with Saint. I would love to know why exactly the nanny didn’t want her holding him. Hmm...

Thomas is a giant asshole. In that preview when Kathryn is yelling at Ashley, Thomas says nothing and you can tell he is enjoying women fighting over him. And he wanted Ashley to wear those teeny shorts to rile up Kathryn. He and JD are those douche men that put their wives/girlfriends through emotional hell. 

Craig is annoying as hell. Sorry, the guy grates on me. 

Patricia may have tips to snag a wealthy dude, but I agree with Sun-Bun-money marries money. You think she would let her precious Whit marry any of us peasants?? Lol! 

Whit does seem fusty and elderly now.  Break out that guitar and Renob again. 

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12 minutes ago, Sage47 said:

It was quite interesting that the nanny didn’t let Kathryn hold her own son.

That is reason enough to get rid of her.  It's not her place.

Speaking of Kathryn - those bruises on her arm are crazy.  I don't know why they don't rotate between both arms and both tops of hands.  They she would get at least  3 weeks break on each part.

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(edited)

Kathryn still seems so immature to me with the eye rolling and victim stories. Not as bad, she is getting better...but it takes her down a few notches when she acts like that. She would come off so much classier and more appealing if she acted like Thomas doesn't bother her. Go home and punch a wall after you see him if you have to or write about it in a diary! Just don't let it show on your face whenever his name is brought up in any type of company. I try to root for her, it gets hard.

Edited by Sherilea43
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2 hours ago, Pickles said:

Thomas's new gf is definitely seeing dollar signs when she looks at him and possible fame on a reality show. 

Which is exactly what Kathryn saw. She even went so far as to get pregnant twice. I don't care if her hair does look better I still can't stand her. She's already being a bitch for no reason and we're only on ep. 1

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2 hours ago, Duke2801 said:

Agreed. I watched a few minutes of last season’s reunion before this episode and was horrified all over again by that red monstrosity she wore.

That said, I did love that one-shoulder black and white top she wore in one of her talking heads this episode.

#TeamGizmo4Eva

I can’t believe they didn’t address who got custody of him in the breakup! 

At least I now know how to pronounce La Croix. Thanks Nomi!

Not so fast on the pronunciation:  http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-pronounce-lacroix-water-2016-9?r=UK&IR=T

It is La Croy.   As in rhymes with enjoy.

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1 hour ago, breezy424 said:

Who got custody of Gizmo?  This is what we care about.

Based on IG I think Gizmo is actually Naomi's parents and they just cat sat when her parents were in France where they spend a lot of their time. 

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2 hours ago, Sage47 said:

It was quite interesting that the nanny didn’t let Kathryn hold her own son.... Kathryn has many skeletons. It was very noticed last season how unbonded she seemed to be with Saint. I would love to know why exactly the nanny didn’t want her holding him. Hmm...

 

We've only heard that story from perpetual victim Kathryn.  Not sure how true it is.

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Am I the only one thinking that Thomas is renting that house solely for filming so he wouldn't get shit for banishing the kids and the nanny to the guest house like last season.

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2 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Which is exactly what Kathryn saw. She even went so far as to get pregnant twice. I don't care if her hair does look better I still can't stand her. She's already being a bitch for no reason and we're only on ep. 1

Difference is that Ashley apparently isn't aggravating Thomas, like the way Kathryn was sniping and yelling at him all the time during season 2, demanding a place in the town.

Thomas said something about Ashley having good manners which mainly means she didn't bitch at him, probably the opposite, to constantly stroke his ego.

Hey if you're going to be a gold digger, be nice to the guy who has the gold.

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1 hour ago, zoeysmom said:

Not so fast on the pronunciation:  http://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-pronounce-lacroix-water-2016-9?r=UK&IR=T

It is La Croy.   As in rhymes with enjoy.

French pronunciation is the way Naomi said it.

5 hours ago, bosawks said:

Craig is driving a Kia, could he be growing up?

No.

And it feels like TRav ordered his “girlfriend” off of SkyMall.

Yeah last season, he was driving a Porsche?

Naomi must have kicked him to the curb, not that he walked away.

All because she wouldn't support him -- be his ride or die girl as he put it.

But Craigie is hyper-sensitive to the slightest criticism, as we saw with the stupid smoker's grill.

Producers are sly, probably came up with the idea of having them grill and smoke the meats, knowing that they'd bicker about it.

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(edited)

The exterior they showed of Naomi's house isn't her house, you can even tell when Chelsea knocks on the door. Her actual house is much cuter.

8 minutes ago, yourmomiseasy said:

I'm pretty sure there were articles about him selling the old house because it wasn't kid friendly.

The house just screams rental and is shittly decorated not like any of his other homes that he has had. 

Craig is looking rough as fuck.

Edited by biakbiak
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Bravo must be ecstatic that all these relationships have broken up and they have a season full of sniping at each other, as this episode and the previews for this season seem to indicate.

I'm sure the cast by now is wise to what Bravo expects of them, which is to get into verbal confrontations on camera about money, sex, etc. -- i.e. the Bravo signature reality show scenes.

Looks like Ashley is going to get into it with several of the female cast members throughout the season.  Come on whatever they may think of her, would they confront her like that?  Kathryn would but the other women?  Well to get airtime, they probably know the best way is to yell insults at each other on camera.

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(edited)
17 minutes ago, scrb said:

Looks like Ashley is going to get into it with several of the female cast members throughout the season.  Come on whatever they may think of her, would they confront her like that?  Kathryn would but the other women?  Well to get airtime, they probably know the best way is to yell insults at each other on camera.

From the preview it seems mostly Danni and Kathryn and Danni has always defended Kathryn. Hell I can't stand Kathryn but if I was  at the dinner where Ashley threw out that she was with the kids more than Kathryn I would have come for her.

Edited by biakbiak
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(edited)

Kathryn  calling Ashley thirsty because she moved across the country to be with  the wealthy Thomas was the pot calling the kettle black.  She even went so far as to spawn 2 children with him. Talk about dehydrated!

It's clear Craig and Shep have a love/hate relationship! Gosh, was their smoker fight annoying or what?

I'd like to see what Elizabeth has to say about JD. Until then, keep spilling the tea, Naomi.

I missed Cameran.  I would have like to see more of her talking heads or her take on things during the girl's  pre-game guy bashing party. 

Glad Danni realized she and ex couldn't have been more different, because we sure noticed 2 seconds after we saw him. 

Edited by zenme
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9 hours ago, Mountainair said:

or as Kathryn said.... "dehydrated!

No one came across particularly well this episode. Craig and Shep still bicker like an old married couple and now Austen is team Shep. 

Thomas' new sidepiece couldn't have looked more like a hooch (imo) with those booty shorts for the party. She should have worn one of the dresses if she wanted to be Switzerland in the never ending Thomas/Kathryn drama. She's coming in with guns blazing! 

Interesting to me that that California girl had so many Lily garments ready to go to her "Southern Charm" BBQ.

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