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S01.E03: It's a Baby, Not a Toy

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Brianna, 156 months pregnant asks her 17-year-old boyfriend with a menial job, "Financially, what are we going to do?" Gee... who knows? Her mom knows that she's going to end up supporting everyone.

Kayla is so slack-jawed and dense. Her friends are sick of hearing about Stefan. 

Once again Lexi can't read the temperature of the room. The store didn't want you stretching out their merchandise just to satisfy your absurd vanity. Her mom must be so proud, shopping for a tight Homecoming gown with her idiot pregnant daughter. Lexi is going to drive me crazy if she keeps asking Kyler what he wants every five minutes. He has TOLD YOU several times that we've seen and you still don't get it. "Do friends have babies together?" Yeah. She totally has tried to trap him with a kid. I'm actually creeped out by this one. God help him if he gets a serious girlfriend.

Jade, I hate to break it to you, but my husband does the same thing: comes home from working 60 hours a week, plops down in front of the tv, picks up a game controller and asks what's for dinner. Welcome to real life. It's not 50 Shades of Grey helicopter dates, darling. P.S. As least he went after you and then packed up the video game.

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9 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

 

Jade, I hate to break it to you, but my husband does the same thing: comes home from working 60 hours a week, plops down in front of the tv, picks up a game controller and asks what's for dinner. Welcome to real life. It's not 50 Shades of Grey helicopter dates, darling. P.S. As least he went after you and then packed up the video game.

for a hot minute I honestly thought that her leaving like that instantly changed him and he was packing up his video games forever to make Jade a priority. How wrong I was.

I feel for Jade, her mom's supposed dealer was on another site with stories of how her mom is really a bad addict. I don't think she has much of anyone she can depend on.

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Lexi, you poor thing.  You're just not super sharp and that's ok.  Your mom thinks she's the cool mom like on Mean Girls.  But, it's not that they didn't want you to try on dresses because you're pregnant.  They see what you don't, a gianormous belly that doesn't go away if you suck it in to fit in a tight dress.  I thought the salesgirl was very nice and helpful.  Personally, I think you need to face reality that Homecoming days are over, money spent on a dress should go towards a baby and your baby daddy just is not that into you.  But that's just me.

Danae.  You go to parenting your way, let me know how that works out.  All Brianna's mom did was ask what you both had planned financially and all of a sudden she's butting in to your parenting?  It cracks me up how these teens thing they know everything about parenting and it's going to be like having the perfect little family.  Babies can't possibly cost that much, right?

Jade's boyfriend.  All I'd love to do after work is plop in front of the TV too and rest but that doesn't happen in any parents world (unless you're Amber).  Another rude awakening coming.

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I guess i’m Old and I don’t get this but guys calling girls dude and bro...WTF! And girls calling each other dude...seems like there is no civility anymore

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Jade after her doctors appointment “I don’t want to be home alone all day taking care of a baby feeling like a single mom” ... umm single or not you will be home alone all day with the baby because that’s your job now.  Be thankful your boyfriend has a job... I don’t know any guys in their 20s who don’t play video games. 

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I need to keep reminding myself that Lexi is still a teenager but she’s seriously not bright.  Who cares about homecoming? Focus on your baby, you’re no longer a typical teenager so it’s time to forgo stupid high school milestones.  She looked absolutely ridiculous dressed up and wearing those 5 inch heels.  I feel like that’s not even safe when you’re super pregnant and your balance is already off?! She’s ridiculous for still wanting a relationship with Kyler when he’s clearly not interested.  Why is her mom supporting her going on this date with him?  If I was her mom I’d tell her to forget about him and start getting child support paperwork going. 

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2 hours ago, ShaNaeNae said:

Lexi, you poor thing.  You're just not super sharp and that's ok.  Your mom thinks she's the cool mom like on Mean Girls.  But, it's not that they didn't want you to try on dresses because you're pregnant.  They see what you don't, a gianormous belly that doesn't go away if you suck it in to fit in a tight dress.  I thought the salesgirl was very nice and helpful. 

Our Lexi needs to get over herself. She thinks every person in every location is Talking About Her. Her ham fisted attempts to entice Kyler back are so embarrassing. She thinks she's this flirty little minx. And apparently that he is some sort of catch. But she's just a silly, vapid girl child and he's a spoiled dudebro in the making. They should stay away from each other forever, but they won't. He'll be merrily dating other girls or hanging with his dudes at the bowling alley, and Lexi will show up with their baby in a stroller and either make a scene or pout and sulk ostentatiously. This has horrible, tragic fail written all over it. But Lexi seems to think she's living some adorable rom com.

Why are Ashley and Bar still talking about that cursed baby shower? Put it behind you and move on! My god.

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Lexi=dumb. You have a basketball sized bump on your belly. You can't fit into slim fitting dresses. You want the impossible, a slim fitting dress that doesn't need to be altered. That doesn't equate to the salesperson not wanting to sell a dress to a pregnant person. She is projecting so hard. 

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So did Sean pack up his video game console to go play at someone else's house or did he pack it up to all of the sudden be the best boyfriend? At least he has a job unlike some of these fools. 

Kayla, Stefan is going to keep cheating on you. Her friends know that, her mom knows that, we all know that. Only she doesn't know that. Her one friend seems completely over it and I'm with her.

Danae, do yourself a favor and get out of this relationship. While I commend him for wanting to raise a child that isn't his, he's young and has his whole life ahead of him.

I missed the aftershow, did anything interesting happen?

Edited by MaggieG · Reason: spelling
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29 minutes ago, MaggieG said:

So did Sean pack up his video game console to go play at someone else's house or did he pack it up to all of the sudden be the best boyfriend? At least he has a job unlike some of these fools. 

Maybe I'm wrong but I interpreted it he was leaving Jade. He said under his breath as he was packing his beloved Playstation, I'm done with you. I don't think he was talking about the plastic box. Side note: Why do they not have any furniture? Did they just move? 

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I interpreted as it was a borrowed gaming system and he was returning it to its owner. How or why I got that impression is a mystery. He did go after her so I didn't think that he was leaving her. Maybe Jade talked about it on the aftershow, which I turned off after like 10 seconds because the host was super annoying and trashbag Kailyn from 2 was there.

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5 hours ago, citychic said:

 

I feel for Jade, her mom's supposed dealer was on another site with stories of how her mom is really a bad addict. I don't think she has much of anyone she can depend on.

 

Ooh what site is that?  I do feel bad for her, too, of course.  

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4 hours ago, woot said:

Jade after her doctors appointment “I don’t want to be home alone all day taking care of a baby feeling like a single mom” ... umm single or not you will be home alone all day with the baby because that’s your job now.  Be thankful your boyfriend has a job... I don’t know any guys in their 20s who don’t play video games. 

I don't understand these girls, for real. They seem to lack even a basic understanding of what "having a baby" entails! They're always so shocked that they have to take care of it, feed it, clothe it, soothe its crying. They are appalled that they get "fat". They are amazed that their crappy self centered boyfriends don't turn into devoted, engaged parents and partners. And they whinge about how they can't go out with their friends and be "just a normal teenager" (my personal favorite). If you make a decision to have a baby with your worthless, cheating, unemployed, dull as dishwater boyfriend, you make a decision that you will never be a "normal teenager" again! Can't have it both ways!

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4 hours ago, woot said:

I need to keep reminding myself that Lexi is still a teenager but she’s seriously not bright.  Who cares about homecoming?

Kyler seems like a real fucking turd anyway.

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7 hours ago, stacyasp said:

I guess i’m Old and I don’t get this but guys calling girls dude and bro...WTF! And girls calling each other dude...seems like there is no civility anymore

You’re not old - promise!

I teach high school and it’s a thing. For real.  I really can’t stand “bruh” or “bro” either. 

With certain students, I can call them out on it and tell them it’s not appropriate. 

I try to model appropriate ways of speaking to my classes, which is why I use “ladies & gentleman” when I need to get their attention instead of “hey guys, ...” which I hear so many teachers say.

I personally can’t stand it when someone says “hey guys”, when the group is both female and male, no matter the demographics of the group.

It’s got nothing to do with feminism at all, but it’s got everything to do with teaching my students how to speak effectively and appropriately to their audience(s) during the infinite number of social/professional situations they will find themselves in. If it’s a bad habit now, it’ll be impossible to break in a few years. 

That’s the reason that the first thing I work on at start of every year is eliminating the word “like” from their vocabularies. Cannot. Stand. It.

The kids think I’m nuts at first, but they get it...after the nerd in me breaks out screen shots of TV shows (with closed captions to emphasize my point) and displays then on the screen for grammar practice/warm up!

Edited by Bridget
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1 hour ago, Mr. Minor said:

Kyler seems like a real fucking turd anyway.

No kidding.  And it's not just about how he deals with Lexi.  Here he is on being a senior in high school: 

[Lexi: So, how's the high school been going?

Kyler: I mean, it's easy, just because, like, since we're seniors, we don't really fuck around, so, like, we just push kids out of the way that are in our way.

Yes, because that's what high school is all about, who gets to shove who around in the hallways.

Then the sad little homecoming conversation, where she asks if he's going, he asks if she wants to, she says she "wouldn't be opposed" to him asking, grin, wink, and he says, "please say no," and she changes the subject.

I keep rooting for Lexi a little - I've been to Montrose and know a little about the place, and it's nice to see it again - but my goodness she is dim. Wish she'd give the baby up, get a cosmetology license or something, and not get pregnant again until she's at least five years older and married to a guy with a trade or something.  About the only thing she has going for her is that she's pretty and her Mom seems nice - and they do have a nice house, so the family can't be a complete disaster. I saw on reddit that supposedly Kyler's Mom put her up for Teen Mom. Seems a little weird, but perhaps this is Kyler's family's idea about how to get out of having to support the kid. Agree to be filmed and limit the contributions to what you get from that, or something. 

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Lexi reminds me of the actress that plays Pennsyltucky from Orange is the New Black-idk what her name is. 

Denae needs to leave. The two of them are so dumb thinking they can play house, and Denae sits back and disrespects Brianna’s mom when she simply asks what the deal is with their savings. “We all do it differently” or whatever he said...yeah maybe we do but it starts with not relying on your gf’s mom to pay for everything for you. I really wish for his own sake he would just leave. It’s so unfair to him to be tied down to a kid that’s not really his in a relationship he doesn’t really seem that into. 

The Teen Mom cast should be shaking in their boots. This show is WAY more interesting than the last couple years of Teen Mom OG. 

Edited by BXD
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What’s with Jade driving that (butt ugly yellow) Nissan Xterra with a Handicapped hang tag that doesn’t expire?

And why the hell is she driving without a seatbelt? I’ve never been pregnant, so is it something a pregnant lady does at X weeks? I refuse to go by the Kailyn School of Being Pregnant Rule Book, so I thought I’d ask.

Are soon-to-be baby daddies exempt from that law as well, or is that a state-by-state thing? 

I just don’t understand not wearing a seatbelt. Ever. I feel naked without one. 

It also hit me while listening to dumbass Kayla talk about repeating the cycle of going back to her baby daddy (knowing what a stupid thing it is) that none of these moms appear to be in therapy. Jade should be seeing a shrink based on the fact alone that her parents are addicts!

I feel like being on the show should come with a requirement to attend therapy, both solo & with the baby daddy or father figure. Just like Randy said that MTV did not educate the TM girls about how to manage their money, THIS show is exploiting the emotional train wreck that is the life of the future moms.

Kayla sounds like she knows what she needs to do, and with the right tools & resources, she’d be able to spare herself so much heartache.

However, if they sought mental help in addition to prenatal help, we wouldn’t have a tv show to snark on.

Edited by Bridget
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5 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

 

Ooh what site is that?  I do feel bad for her, too, of course.  

The young and pregnant forum on reddit. I'm still trying to find the exact conversation that I read it. If I find it I'll pass it along.

This person showed up and says they know her -

[–]luckyyyyyy53 2 points 21 days ago 

I’m pretty sure her hair has been bleached blonde her whole pregnancy! I know her personally and it never changed. She’s dyed her hair A LOT, but I don’t think she did while pregnant.

Take that back, she had it tinted blue for a little bit.

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2 hours ago, Bridget said:

What’s with Jade driving that (butt ugly yellow) Nissan Xterra with a Handicapped hang tag that doesn’t expire?

I noticed that too.  I agree with those who think Jade is a sad piece of work, her boyfriend seems like an ass and her parents are barely there for her.  Even her doctor seemed more interested in screen time than genuine concern about who the heck is going to help her when the baby is born, considering she comes to all her appointments alone.

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13 hours ago, citychic said:

The young and pregnant forum on reddit. I'm still trying to find the exact conversation that I read it. If I find it I'll pass it along.

This person showed up and says they know her -

[–]luckyyyyyy53 2 points 21 days ago 

I’m pretty sure her hair has been bleached blonde her whole pregnancy! I know her personally and it never changed. She’s dyed her hair A LOT, but I don’t think she did while pregnant.

Take that back, she had it tinted blue for a little bit.

Thanks!  Off to Reddit!

This show is making me sad, more so than the last go-round on 16&P.

Edited by heatherchandler
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15 hours ago, Bridget said:

Kayla sounds like she knows what she needs to do, and with the right tools & resources, she’d be able to spare herself so much heartache.

Her mouth breathing boyfriend thinks he's going to have his little son with him everywhere he goes, good luck with that!

I think Denae just wants to be on TV, go away already.

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21 minutes ago, Mr. Minor said:

Her mouth breathing boyfriend thinks he's going to have his little son with him everywhere he goes, good luck with that!

I think Denae just wants to be on TV, go away already.

I wonder where he’s going to stash the baby when he’s busy banging anyone with a pulse who isn’t his baby mama?!?! 

I tnought that line “you’re going to see him everywhere I am” was a bit odd. We get it: you both have daddy issues, but it almost seems to me like this guy thinks a baby will “fix him” too.

ahhhhh! Why do we watch?!?! 

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2 hours ago, Bridget said:

I wonder where he’s going to stash the baby when he’s busy banging anyone with a pulse who isn’t his baby mama?!?! 

I tnought that line “you’re going to see him everywhere I am” was a bit odd. We get it: you both have daddy issues, but it almost seems to me like this guy thinks a baby will “fix him” too.

ahhhhh! Why do we watch?!?! 

I'm debating whether to continue with this show after 3 episodes.  I love snarking on "Teen Mom OG."  I don't watch "Teen Mom 2", but I'm aware of what is happening on it through the PTV board.  I also watched "Unexpected" on Lifetime (I think that was the network. A quick seven episodes) and a great show on OWN Canada, "My Baby is Having a Baby."  (I really hope that one comes back.). 

I love my trash TV, but this show seems so sad.  Do I need to stay with this one?  Anyone have any thoughts on this? 

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Some of the girls on this show are shockingly stupid. The one trying to go to homecoming was particularly idiotic. Why didn’t her mother help her understand that slim-fit dresses cannot accommodate her current body. She looked nice on her dinner date, but her date looked like a slob. Why is she so desperate to be with him? He has nothing to offer in terms of affection and he’s fucking ugly.

The one impregnated by Stephan is also a simpleton. I love how her friend is constantly, like, what is wrong with you? And there’s a difference between arguing and standing up for yourself. I predict that once she’s off to college she’ll be done with this Kayla chick.

Briana and Denae are another hot fucking mess. First of all, Denae has his own transformation to deal with. If he’s committed to being male, he still has a long way to go in terms of the hormones and any other physical changes, not to mention the enormous emotional toil he’s going to experience. How is he in any way prepared to be somebody’s baby daddy when he’s still so young and in such a major transition.

Second, he is immature as fuck and the attitude seriously sucks. It’s like he can’t take an ounce of criticism and sounds like an impetuous child every time he opens his mouth. Granted, Briana’s mother could explain things a bit more clearly and forcefully. Like, do you know how much it costs to keep a baby fed and clothed? Are you aware you can’t live anywhere for free? I WILL NOT BE SUPPORTING YOU AND YOUR BABY!

Poor Jade. Why is she with that fucking loser? She seems like she’s not dumb as fuck like the other chicks and is a hard worker. Still, when it came to picking a mate she is just as bad. At least her loser works, though. And not in high school. With such fucked up parents she needs to find a better man. Three fuck-ups is too much to bear,

Ashley and Bar: She and her family like to think they’re better than Bar’s mother, and they are, but they’re still pretty trashy. What kind of pastor behaves the way her mother does? And how was she cool with her daughter dancing in Vegas? Bar’s mother is am horrific, hot stinking mess, and I would never let her anywhere near my delivery.

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On 3/27/2018 at 8:03 AM, woot said:

I need to keep reminding myself that Lexi is still a teenager but she’s seriously not bright.  Who cares about homecoming? Focus on your baby, you’re no longer a typical teenager so it’s time to forgo stupid high school milestones. 

In her defense, I don't see her life consisting of many more milestones.  Or happy ones, anyway.  So grab it while you can.

[And woot! to someone who spells forgo correctly.  Can you please consider moonlighting at The Bachelor in the fantasy suite date card department?]

 

23 hours ago, politichick said:

First of all, Denae has his own transformation to deal with. If he’s committed to being male, he still has a long way to go in terms of the hormones and any other physical changes, not to mention the enormous emotional toil he’s going to experience. How is he in any way prepared to be somebody’s baby daddy when he’s still so young and in such a major transition.

I believe this is the baby who's going to be missing an arm, and Danae pitched fatherhood by pointing out that he's uniquely qualified to deal with those challenges because he knows what it's like to be judged.  I guess you missed that if you're having any doubts. 

 

23 hours ago, politichick said:

Ashley and Bar: She and her family like to think they’re better than Bar’s mother, and they are, but they’re still pretty trashy. What kind of pastor behaves the way her mother does? And how was she cool with her daughter dancing in Vegas?

I think it was Ashley who said something about how her mother hadn't always been a pastor, and could revert to pre-pastor behavior at any minute, and Shen better watch out.  Not sure what's up with that, but I get the feeling we're not dealing with Billy Graham's daughter here.

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58 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

What kind of pastor behaves the way her mother does? And how was she cool with her daughter dancing in Vegas?

I have to think that she didn't work at a higher end strip club.

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I don't think the dress shop ladies were mean to Lexi at all;  I think she's very paranoid of any slights.

They were saying she'd have to try a larger size & have it altered, and she kept complaining that if she did that, it would be too long (????)

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I guess I have a new reason to be offended by my ex - he never went to a single dr. appt. when I was expecting our two sons.  I didn't think anything of it at the time - it was pretty much standard dr. appt. stuff, measuring, weighing, asking & answering questions.  It would have been difficult for my husband to take off work that much and I really didn't see the point - I could fill him in when he got home from work.  I'm trying to remember if I saw lots of fathers in the waiting room and I really don't think there were, unless I was oblivious.  Back in the day we didn't get ultrasounds every month or whatever.  I remember getting two per pregnancy; one at the beginning to be sure the fetus was healthy and viable and one further out to check the sex.  I think my husband went to the second ultrasound.  Whatever, I survived and even tho he turned out to be the worst possible husband, he was actually a pretty decent father. 

Edited by suzeecat
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On Wednesday, March 28, 2018 at 9:47 PM, Maharincess said:

Kyler is the oldest looking high school senior I've ever seen. He looks like he's 35 to me. 

He's even already got a dad bod.

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Why Lexi is chasing after this loser is astonishing to me. She's no great shakes herself, she seems pretty dim but she's cute, and pleasant enough. What is that sack of potatoes' appeal? I'm truly at a loss. None of these guys are prizes, sheesh. I  mean, my BF in high school was no GQ model, but he was insanely smart, hard working and treated me nicely.

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On 3/27/2018 at 5:04 AM, LilaFowler said:

Once again Lexi can't read the temperature of the room. The store didn't want you stretching out their merchandise just to satisfy your absurd vanity. Her mom must be so proud, shopping for a tight Homecoming gown with her idiot pregnant daughter. Lexi is going to drive me crazy if she keeps asking Kyler what he wants every five minutes. He has TOLD YOU several times that we've seen and you still don't get it. "Do friends have babies together?" Yeah. She totally has tried to trap him with a kid. I'm actually creeped out by this one. God help him if he gets a serious girlfriend.

Why the heck does Lexi think Kyler is worth trapping? I can understand trying to trap the rich preppy kid in school, but Kyler? That dude is top dog of the high school? Really? Kyler is the kind of person from your high school who 20 years later you find by accident making Pizzas at your local Pizza Hut.

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On 3/27/2018 at 4:56 PM, woot said:

Jade after her doctors appointment “I don’t want to be home alone all day taking care of a baby feeling like a single mom” ... umm single or not you will be home alone all day with the baby because that’s your job now.  Be thankful your boyfriend has a job... I don’t know any guys in their 20s who don’t play video games. 

I can understand both Jade and her boyfriend. Jade feels he is unengaged. But the dude is working 60 hours a week and bringing in money, so that's already a plus. He's probably playing video games as an escape - he probably regrets the pregnancy and wants to block it out. Or maybe he just needs to decompress after work. I've had days were I'm exhausted from work having people ask me for things all day long, only to get home and have more expectations put on me. It's good to decompress. My mother-in-law noticed that my stay at home wife would just dump the kids on me after a full 10 work day. When she visits to stay with us, she tells my wife to let me decompress in my room for 30 mins or so. It helps a lot.  In Jade's case, maybe they can come to an agreement he gets his one-hour decompression, and then he should spend some time with her afterwards, helping to cook dinner etc. Usually after an hour I am able to handle 'the second shift with the kids'. Not all of us are built to handle interaction 24/7. 

Edited by BabyDaddy
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A conversation between Rogan and Kyler. If we choose our own consonants, the names become Klassier!

I wonder if Danae is partly in this relationship because he wishes he could impregnate someone and this is the closest thing he can get.

It kills me every time to hear this idiot young women say, "I want my baby to have a stable home with two parents. I didn't have that, so that's what's most important to me." Then why did you have a baby with this teenage loser with one foot out the door? How about you assemble what you think the baby needs, and THEN have the freaking baby?

Quote

a great show on OWN Canada, "My Baby is Having a Baby."

!!! Is there any way for people in the States to watch this series? (Yes, these shows are my crack.)

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Okay, people, it's time to go over a few PTV rules:

1) If someone posts something that doesn't follow Forum rules, please report it, do not engage. 

2) PTV follows GLAAD guidelines pertaining to transgender people. That means refer to the person in their declared gender. Do not misgender them or use the wrong pronouns. 

3) Snark the show, not each other. 

Any questions can be sent to me via pm at @17wheatthins  

Thank you!

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Okay, so I discovered this show today and watched all available episodes on demand. I want to break my TV every time Lexi's whatever Kyler is on screen. She has a "date night" with him and dresses to the nines and he shows up in sneakers and a baseball cap? that he leaves on in the restaurant? I was crazed. What a loser. Off to read all the threads about this trainwreck show.

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