S06.E13: Vegas! Baby?

[OnceSane]

Quote

Lisa takes Sandoval and Schwartz on a business trip to Las Vegas to design their new bar, but the guys focus more on partying than professionalism; Brittany tells Katie and Ariana she needs to take a pregnancy test.

 

[Fiero425]

On ‎3‎/‎1‎/‎2018 at 8:36 PM, OnceSane said:

 

Hard to believe these idiots got drunk and actually missed their meeting the next day! The preview shows them sleeping through alarm and call from Lisa! What is wrong with these people? ;-(

[whydoievencare]

Oh Lala, you're such a classy girl.

[ivygirl]

Lala’s advice to Scheana was actually solid.  Scheana needs to slow her roll. 

Lala Kent, Unlikely Voice of Reason...

Also love that Sandoval and Schwartz are wafting towards their future...

Edited March 6, 2018 by ivygirl

[dosodog]

What!?!  What did she do?

WAHHHHHH!

My cable isn't working.

Just kill me now.....or?  Maybe someone could take pity on a Vanderpump junkie and maybe give some details?

I have a dog.  And I'd like to outlive my mom.

I'll just be sitting here.  Turning the tv on to see if the cable is back and refreshing the PTV page.  While the rest of you get to watch the chucklefucks, chucklefuck.

Edited March 6, 2018 by dosodog

[ivygirl]

@dosodog—Lala took Scheana to the studio. Scheana complained about what Jax said re: Rob not being into her and started being all “WE’RE NAMING OUR BABIES!” And Lala was like, cool your jets, you just got divorced. You’ve known each other for 11 years but you haven’t been intimate for that long at all. Wait for him to come to you about marriage. Which I know isn’t 100% the rule, but it’s generally true, even for someone like SuperRob. 

Edited March 6, 2018 by ivygirl
ETA bit about 11 years

[Mindthinkr]

Jax has tagged along with the Toms on their Vegas trip but Lisa isn’t forgiving him yet. The Toms got VIP check in and Brit and Jax had to just join the regular people’s line. Sorry your cable is wonky Dosodog.

[ivygirl]

Brittany took a pregnancy test.

Vanderpump Rules: brought to you by Tito’s, Postmates, and Clearblue Easy.

[Jextella]

This show is amazing.  I think this has been the most head-shaking season since season 1. 

Edited March 6, 2018 by Jextella

[Thumper]

Brittany's breasts need more support. 

[Mindthinkr]

Funny how Ariana knew that the pregnancy test had to be kept horizontal. Lucky for Jax she isn’t or Brit hasn’t produced enough of the hormone for it to read positive. The editors were definitely baiting us  

I don’t think the let it all hang out there look on Brittany is such a good idea. 

[Thumper]

So I missed the part where she isn't pregnant?!  Can someone fill me in?

[Mindthinkr]

2 minutes ago, Thumper said:

So I missed the part where she isn't pregnant?!  Can someone fill me in?

We learned that Jax and Brittany use the Pray and Spray method of birth control 75% of the time (the other 25% is the take a chance crapshoot). She took a test with Katie and Ariana and brought the test downstairs to show it to Jax and tried to fake him out on it being positive when the real result was negative. 

[ivygirl]

She surprised him in a lounge with the test. He was surprisingly laid back.

Later he asked how the test works. I don’t buy that either Jax or Jason Taylor doesn’t know how a pregnancy test works.

[dosodog]

13 minutes ago, Jextella said:

This show is amazing.  I think this has been the most head-shaking season since season 1. 

Kick a girl while her cable is out!

Thank you for the updates! 

[ivygirl]

Can you stream on the Bravo app, @dosodog?

[Mindthinkr]

Jax just gifted Tom Sandoval a guitar for his birthday and they had a cake for him up in their suite. Awww

[ivygirl]

Sandoval called duck “quacktastic.” And he kept up the quack jokes.

Lala basically said Scheana is a craptastic singer who’s not worthy of being on her track.

Edited March 6, 2018 by ivygirl

[Mindthinkr]

Just now, ivygirl said:

Sandoval called duck “quacktastic.”

Lala basically said Scheana is a craptastic singer.

I don’t think that the server appreciated his humor. 

[rho]

I'm still laughing at Lala saying she can finally "spread her legs." New intelligent, feminist Lala was doing so well and then she pulled a Jaxism.

[dosodog]

4 minutes ago, ivygirl said:

Can you stream on the Bravo app, @dosodog?

No.  I live in a rural area and in the last 6 weeks, everything wifi oriented either stopped working (oh Alexa. I miss our dance night party) or slowed down dramatically.  Apparently my speed is so slow, they were amazed Alexa worked in the first place. 

I'm waiting for Century Link to add something at the end of the month to get faster speed.  I guess they only have so much ports or something. 

Are Katie and Ariana getting along?  Or is Brittany a superb buffer?

[ivygirl]

2 minutes ago, dosodog said:

No.  I live in a rural area and in the last 6 weeks, everything wifi oriented either stopped working (oh Alexa. I miss our dance night party) or slowed down dramatically.  Apparently my speed is so slow, they were amazed Alexa worked in the first place. 

I'm waiting for Century Link to add something at the end of the month to get faster speed.  I guess they only have so much ports or something. 

Are Katie and Ariana getting along?  Or is Brittany a superb buffer?

They were getting along nicely! A said that when K is away from “the coven,” she’s cool and if she were always that way, they’d be great friends. It was actually nice to hear.

The Toms are late.

Schwartz mentioned Adderall.

Edited March 6, 2018 by ivygirl

[rideashire]

What kind of idiot uses the spray and spray method unless they're on board for kids because news flash....that's how you get kids. I'm surprised she's not already knocked up but I doubt that luck is gonna last.

Having said that, oddly enough, I do think Jax would be a decent father. Brittney's right in that he's an overgrown child himself and I bet he'd have a blast with his own kids. She's also right in that he won't take care of them any better than he does the dogs. (so maybe take that as a hint to use some birth control, Brit.)

Edited March 6, 2018 by rideashire

[dosodog]

He'd be a great dad as long as they don't get in the way of a booty call.  This is the guy who had sex in front of a sleeping 90 year old!

I'm just envisioning a 5 year old being left in a car while daddy is sucking the toes of some random female he just met in a store.

[ivygirl]

Tosser Toms are acting like toddlers in a furnishing shop. 

Next week: more screaming and yelling! More lady parts! Oh, yay.

[Mindthinkr]

I applaud Lala for not shining Scheana on about her singing. Girl needs auto tune. 

[movingtargetgal]

Jesus christ on a cracker!!! Utilizing the "pull out method" even 100% of the time is insane unless you want to become parents.  One of the things they teach you in sex ed is that pre-ejaculate fluid does contain sperm.  The male does not have to "finish" in order for sperm to be present in the vagina thus leading to pregnancy.  Sperm are sneaky little suckers.  And Brittney you think Jax would be a great dad because he will be good at PLAYING with the baby.  I like her but she is just so stupid.  Jax needs a vasectomy ASAP.  I volunteer to do the job.  I have a how to guide from the internet and my trusty rusty melon baller, I know I can get the job done!  

[jaybird2]

3 minutes ago, movingtargetgal said:

Jesus christ on a cracker!!! Utilizing the "pull out method" even 100% of the time is insane unless you want to become parents.  One of the things they teach you in sex ed is that pre-ejaculate fluid does contain sperm.  The male does not have to "finish" in order for sperm to be present in the vagina thus leading to pregnancy.  Sperm are sneaky little suckers.  And Brittney you think Jax would be a great dad because he will be good at PLAYING with the baby.  I like her but she is just so stupid.  Jax needs a vasectomy ASAP.  I volunteer to do the job.  I have a how to guide from the internet and my trusty rusty melon baller, I know I can get the job done!  

love your melon baller!

[ticklemepink]

I cannot believe that we are unable to escape Ariana's vagina. Yeah, she is SOOOOO embarrassed about it that she has to show it to us next week. Please GTFOOHWTBS. 

[movingtargetgal]

4 minutes ago, jaybird2 said:

8 minutes ago, movingtargetgal said:

Jesus christ on a cracker!!! Utilizing the "pull out method" even 100% of the time is insane unless you want to become parents.  One of the things they teach you in sex ed is that pre-ejaculate fluid does contain sperm.  The male does not have to "finish" in order for sperm to be present in the vagina thus leading to pregnancy.  Sperm are sneaky little suckers.  And Brittney you think Jax would be a great dad because he will be good at PLAYING with the baby.  I like her but she is just so stupid.  Jax needs a vasectomy ASAP.  I volunteer to do the job.  I have a how to guide from the internet and my trusty rusty melon baller, I know I can get the job done!  

love your melon baller!

I am usually a kind and gentle person but I do have a dark side.  :)  My niece was married to a lying cheating abuser and I "offered" to preform the same procedure on him since he could not seem to stop fathering children with other women besides his wife.  Thank god he never knocked up my niece.  She just had a baby with her new husband.  He is the kindest and most loving husband and father.  Ladies happy endings do happen when you get rid of the destructive forces in your life. 

Edited March 6, 2018 by movingtargetgal

[dosodog]

Why are we going to see Ariana’s vagina?

Context is everything! 

[snarts]

52 minutes ago, Thumper said:

Brittany's breasts need more support. 

Worst boob job. She should get a refund. They're so droopy! Plus they make her look heavy. 

[hoodooznoodooz]

Scheana can’t use the new computer screens at SUR because her nails are too long. I hope this means she will have to wear them shorter.

1 hour ago, whydoievencare said:

Oh Lala, you're such a classy girl.

Yep, we needed that BJ visual, right?

[njbchlover]

1 hour ago, Thumper said:

Brittany's breasts need more support. 

I guess Brittany goes by the saying "If you've got them, flaunt them, if you bought them, expose them".     ;-)

[Thumper]

I'm a little confused about the Toms and why Lisa wanted them in Vegas.  I get their stupidity about partying too much and then being late.  But did she not bring them out there for their opinions?   It seemed every time they offered an opinion, she shut them down.  

[hoodooznoodooz]

Awww... very sweet but also very stupid Brittany gets shafted out of one of the nicer rooms because she’s dating a sociopath. (Not to get too Ramona about it.)

[ivygirl]

7 minutes ago, Thumper said:

I'm a little confused about the Toms and why Lisa wanted them in Vegas.  I get their stupidity about partying too much and then being late.  But did she not bring them out there for their opinions?   It seemed every time they offered an opinion, she shut them down.  

Personally I think she got testy *because* they were late, hungover, and smelly and would NOT STOP TALKING. Lisa seems to reprimand people in that way—she takes away “privileges” if you break her trust. 

[rho]

15 minutes ago, ivygirl said:

Personally I think she got testy *because* they were late, hungover, and smelly and would NOT STOP TALKING. Lisa seems to reprimand people in that way—she takes away “privileges” if you break her trust. 

I think the smell was the deal breaker. They were both profusely sweaty and Schwartz had a pocket full of mini bar liquor. I don't even want to think about what they smelled like. 

[Batwings]

The way TomTom (especially Sandoval) could not stay still during the 2nd meeting,  or STFU for that matter, leads me to believe they might have been partaking in something *cough*nosecandy*cough*. Maybe the same something that made Jax’s nose so stuffed up that morning? ?

Scheana. Forever delusional. Forever tone-deaf.

Edited March 6, 2018 by Batwings
because punctuation

[CaliforniaLove]

15 minutes ago, Batwings said:

Scheana. Forever delusional. Forever tone-deaf

You didn't just write this. I realize that it is written right there in front of my face...but you didn't do it. I know it. 

[WhosThatGirl]

“We’ve named our future daughter!!!!!”-Schena on why she’s making no sense. Maybe SHES named their future daughter.

[Rebecca]

I totally agree that Brittany’s outfit in Vegas looked ridiculous. Put your tits away, that looks awful! Jax’s shocked face looked so fake when he was like, “are you really?” I think they planned that pregnancy shit together for a storyline. Who goes to Vegas and eats at Hooter’s? Never mind, Jax and Brittany are exactly who does that.

Freudian slips all over - Lala about spreading her legs and Tom talking about him and the other Tom “jerking off” together. 

I don’t think it’s possible for a more tone deaf and flat “yo, yo, yo” than Scheana delivered.

Tom and Tom have way too much in common with 14 year old boys.

Edited March 6, 2018 by Rebecca

[HunterHunted]

I want to spread my legs musically! If only Lala hadn't spread her legs musically with James, she might not have him constantly pestering her for another crack at it.

A robotic bartender can't make a vodka cranberry like Jax can because Jax can't make a vodka cranberry.

4 hours ago, ivygirl said:

Sandoval called duck “quacktastic.” And he kept up the quack jokes.

All of the duck puns. Duck life is quack. Improv master Ariana hates puns.

Quote

Lala basically said Scheana is a craptastic singer who’s not worthy of being on her track.

Truth!!!

That Adderall really fucked those idiots up.

Edited March 6, 2018 by HunterHunted

[ivygirl]

19 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

A robotic bartender can't make a vodka cranberry like Jax can because Jax can't make a vodka cranberry.

LOL

More vodka cranberries! PumpTINI!

Quote

That Adderall really fucked those idiots up.

Yeah that’s my vote, rather than anything “street illegal.” I’d hope that they had better sense than that, especially right before an important business meeting.

[Jextella]

Lala sounds as ridiculous as Scheana when she talks about "her man".  

[ivygirl]

1 hour ago, Rebecca said:

Freudian slips all over - Lala about spreading her legs and Tom talking about him and the other Tom “jerking off” together. 

On a similar note, we also were treated to Scheana saying we should take things Jax says with “the smallest grain of salt.”

As well as Lala’s continued contextually inappropriate “dude”s. (To Billie, talking about a guy who didn’t want to be with her: “You’re an f’in chick, dude.”) 

[Marley]

Yea no one stays up until 9am just drinking lol.

it just seems like she was setting them up for failure tho having a meeting in Vegas after Sandoval’s bday. I actually think it went better than expected lol.

Edited March 6, 2018 by Marley

[ScoobieDoobs]

OK, I've been sorta ho-hum on this show lately, but Lala saying she wants to "spread her legs" . . . er, "musically"?  Oh man, this show kills me.  Not sure which I enjoyed more -- the anonymous off-cam voice pointing out to her that she said it -- or her reaction.

Jeez, the producers sneaking in the clip of Schemer singing was really mean.  Had to mute that so my ears wouldn't bleed.  Don't do that shit again to us, producers!

Yeah, Schwartz, we knew what you meant when you said you jerk-off with Sandoval.

Jax's big-eyed reaction to shit is getting tired & annoying.

[HunterHunted]

1 hour ago, Rebecca said:

I don’t think it’s possible for a more tone deaf and flat “yo, yo, yo” than Scheana delivered.

And she wasn't even singing. She was talk singing like Rex Harrison. And she's still off and tone deaf. It's a marvel.

[Rebecca]

Scheana definitely emoted more when she was asking us if we could “freak, bitch” and when she was making sex sounds into the mic for her song. Always tone deaf, though.

Edited March 6, 2018 by Rebecca