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OnceSane

S22.E11: Week 10

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I think what skeeved me out the most about Arie's proposal then dumping was all his mentions of kids. Maybe it's because having children was super important to me and I know that at Becca's age I was getting a little nervous about not meeting the right person. 

He brought it up so much first saying I can picture our kids and then "when are we gonna start making babies?"

Thank goodness she didn't get pregnant in their mini engagement. I think even Lauren would draw the line there. 

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Becca was in shock and I don't believe she was thinking about the Bachelorette at all.  A producer was behind stopping her from leaving and Arie staying for so long.  They were hoping for a lot of drama which didn't happen.   Becca handled the situation beautifully.  

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Arie is nothing but a fame whore. Period. After seeing the young blonde he was dating a week before being announced as the Bachelor, if he was truly looking to settle down she looked about the same as any of these girls. You could interchange her and Lauren and arrive at the same place. He is a tool bag that obviously doesn’t get that romantic love, true love, is singular. You can’t truly love two people at once. You can be infatuate, attracted, sexually interested in multiple people but real love, nope not this. What he did to both of these girls is heinous and I’m praying Lauren dumps HIM tonight on national television because there is no way her family watched this all go down and endorsed this. Pease tell me she’s not that stupid. The proposal to Becca and the talk of children was doubly cruel if he was this torn. Becca dodged a bullet. As vacant as I think Lauren is she doesn’t deserve what he did to her either.

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Arie always looks dressed like a bit of mess.  I hate it when he wears sneakers that look like an eight year old boy would wear and he is 36. Even his suit at the proposal looked like it shrunk in the dryer.

Don't they have wardrobe people?

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That was torturesome. And I only watched the last hour and a half!

The whole 'first unedited scene ever in the history of reality tv!' felt so fake to me. I didn't buy it. Becca barely seemed to care, which is actually the correct reaction to have lol, but felt weird when they were trying to sell this as some devastating thing. Although maybe I could buy her being numb/blacking out like she said live. I don't know, it just didn't feel real to me at all.

My fave part was when Becca said, "I'm like not gonna hug you goodbye." Amazing. I rolled. I watched it multiple times!

I'll pretend for a minute this was real and say that it seemed like Arie stayed because he really wanted her to forgive him. I mean! Damn son!

Becca is the real winner in all this and I figure she's already realized she never actually gave a shit about him anyway so she isn't even heartbroken at this point I'd guess. And she'll get to be The Bachelorette and have all of America acting like she suffered some horrible ordeal. Yea, she won and she won hard. 

Lauren is such a fool. It's sad.

Edited by peachmangosteen
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9 hours ago, crgirl412 said:

Ari doesn't realize that Becca is a connector and that would lead to couple friendships, families getting together and real estate business leads but with Lauren the other moms, neighbors and co-workers will take her muteness and seeming lack of interest in anything for her just being a pretty, frosty bitch. 

Great assessment of life with Becca vs Lauren. Arie's family was trying to get at the same thing. I do think Arie actually understood that Becca was the better woman, so to speak, and that's why he picked her. In the end, his heart just wasn't there though.

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When Arie left the break-up house and his side of the screen went black, that's when the producers looked at their watches and chewed him out: We only have 7 minutes of footage! (time made up by me). And zero tears! Get back in there and get something else. Say something!

The extended cut version of the break up was what was bad. You could tell that Arie was trying to get footage because no way did he want to still be there, but that hesitant, should I go or do they still want more? behavior was so obvious. He's not a man, he's a weenie. He should have told production, "I'm out of here. Don't do this to her anymore" if he had any character and any feelings for her.

Edited by TheFinalRose · Reason: words where they shouldn't be!
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Bekah (young Bekah) has been hysterical on Twitter. She shared 2 DM’s that Arie sent her in the beginning of February. So now maybe he’ll dump Lauren for her. 

All these girls need to walk away from this hound dog. Far away!

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I swear they showed Arie talking with Jason Mesnick, in the promo videos.  Anyone notice this?

But they only had Jason on the couch with Ben.

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4 minutes ago, huahaha said:

Great assessment of life with Becca vs Lauren. Arie's family was trying to get at the same thing. I do think Arie actually understood that Becca was the better woman, so to speak, and that's why he picked her. In the end, his heart just wasn't there though.

The strangest thing in all of this is that LAUREN caused all this self reflection. I've met and dated girls like Lauren in the past, so I can understand getting infatuated with a pretty, aloof blonde that is a challenge to win over. The thing is though, once you get time away from them you completely forget about them and get over them. You realize there's nothing mysterious or intriguing about their shyness, there's just not a lot going on. It just surprises me that Arie thinks he's in love with Lauren, because other than her being "hot" she doesn't leave a lasting impression. 

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9 minutes ago, nutty1 said:

Bekah (young Bekah) has been hysterical on Twitter. She shared 2 DM’s that Arie sent her in the beginning of February. So now maybe he’ll dump Lauren for her. 

All these girls need to walk away from this hound dog. Far away!

What is a DM?  I probably know but just not connecting.  What did they say?  

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7 minutes ago, OnTime said:

I swear they showed Arie talking with Jason Mesnick, in the promo videos.  Anyone notice this?

But they only had Jason on the couch with Ben.

I think that will be tonight, looks like he talked to Mesnick to get his input.   A People article this am said Arie spoke to past bachelors/ettes to get their input on if it's normal to have such strong feelings for the #2.  Poor Becca, so many people knew she was being dumped before she did.  

Remember when they first sat down in the house and she showed him that tattoo she got on her wrist? I was so afraid it would say "Arie" or the date they met or something stupid about that relationship that was about to explode.  Glad to see later it was a moth or something.  

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13 minutes ago, Wings said:

Becca was in shock and I don't believe she was thinking about the Bachelorette at all.  A producer was behind stopping her from leaving and Arie staying for so long.  They were hoping for a lot of drama which didn't happen.   Becca handled the situation beautifully.  

Exactly. RS said when he broke this weeks ago that Becca was led to believe that the show were going to do some safehouse filming so she wouldn't have been aware a breakup was coming. She probably thought the show was just changing it up some after so many seasons.

Yes she knew Arie had some doubts but like a sick family member who you know is probably going to die you are still shocked when it happens. Geez. I'm really dumbfounded that she's getting flack for this. Smh.

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2 minutes ago, Wings said:

What is a DM?  I probably know but just not connecting.  What did they say?  

He messaged her directly ("direct message") on Twitter: 

image.png.7ada834bf999844e8213798bb4e7e6bb.png

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Thanks @Janc.  And oh my god, he cannot stop his player behavior.  Too much and very funny, really.  

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11 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

We're not done yet? They must have told Arie to hang around to squeeze every ounce of drama out of the breakup. Harrison said this is trending and blowing up social media and that the whole country is talking about it so they got what they want.

I am a wrong reasons viewer and this crap is even making me feel bad.

Same. There's no pretending that any of this was done for any reason other than to make this snooze fest have a "shocking" end, but if Becca was truly blindsided, I feel bad having even watched it. Regardless of what she originally signed on for, this was a calculated effort to humiliate her and her only offense was "winning" this prize of a bachelor. 

And yes, he was absolutely told to hang around for the cameras. Anyone who was pulling such a shitty maneuver in real life would have been out the door as soon as humanly possible or maybe would have been too chicken to even have the conversation face-to-face. There's no way he would have stuck around that long without prodding, especially since he wasn't even talking. 

I have to wonder what they've given/promised him in exchange for doing this in such an objectively awful way. I don't know that he fully calculated how bad this makes him look and how this may follow him through life from here on out. Even if he and Lauren have a happy (dull and vapid) ending, the perception of him is forever tainted by agreeing to this bullshit. 

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He is contractually obligated to tell them everything. He can't just break up with her. I'm sure it is literally in his contract. I forget how long the contracts last, and the non-disclosure agreements last even longer. In order to get paid, and not get sued, he has to do what they tell him to do. She is the same way. He can't leave if they tell him not to. Sure, we would like to think that he would be strong enough to just walk away anyway, but with that kind of money on the line, and being so close to the end, I'm sure it's harder than we think. 

Anyone that goes on this show at this point must know that it is a free for all. These are the same people that continued to film after the Corinne thing last year. They aren't stand up people. There aren't any standards for this show. I feel for Becca, but she is being well compensated, and if she actually becomes the Bachelorette, then I will be even more suspicious about her motives. 

Most of the leads have regrets after it is over. I'm actually surprised more of them don't end up with the runner-up. I'm also a little dismayed at all of the negative comments towards Lauren. None of this is her fault yet there are some really terrible things being said about her. She may be naive in taking him back, but that doesn't make her a terrible person.

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13 minutes ago, Wings said:

What is a DM?  I probably know but just not connecting.  What did they say?  

It’s a direct (private) message on Twitter. One was a picture and some reference to it being the same day as her birthday. The other was a picture of her with some conversation. 

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2 minutes ago, ljenkins782 said:

Same. There's no pretending that any of this was done for any reason other than to make this snooze fest have a "shocking" end, but if Becca was truly blindsided, I feel bad having even watched it. Regardless of what she originally signed on for, this was a calculated effort to humiliate her and her only offense was "winning" this prize of a bachelor. 

And yes, he was absolutely told to hang around for the cameras. Anyone who was pulling such a shitty maneuver in real life would have been out the door as soon as humanly possible or maybe would have been too chicken to even have the conversation face-to-face. There's no way he would have stuck around that long without prodding, especially since he wasn't even talking. 

I have to wonder what they've given/promised him in exchange for doing this in such an objectively awful way. I don't know that he fully calculated how bad this makes him look and how this may follow him through life from here on out. Even if he and Lauren have a happy (dull and vapid) ending, the perception of him is forever tainted by agreeing to this bullshit. 

I think you're points are valid. But even if told by production, it doesn't change the fact that Arie's body language was that he didn't care and was completely checked out. We've all been in awkward, uncomfortable situations/breakups and the tendency is to shrink up (literally). You hunch, cross your legs, put your hands on your face to try to hide. Arie just walked around like nothing happened. He had no compassion for Becca, but didn't even seem to register that what he did was wrong. 

 

And you're right, he definitely didn't think how this would affect him moving forward. But A) he's not too bright and B) it doesn't seem like he's ever really tried hard or worked in life. I don't think he's ever been challenged in life, and even if he has he probably just quit and moved on to something else. 

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Caroline, the Judge, first with Krystal and then with Arie as "Unforgivable:"  Really, Caroline?  Breaking an engagement is unforgivable?  An  engagement is not a marriage, it's a trial period before a marriage and if the relationship doesn't pass the test it's a good thing they decide to cancel it.  Plus, it's a trial period times a hundred when it's a Bachelor engagement.  Those people are pushed to get engaged when they have only spent about 48 hours together!

I think Arie thought he should love Becca because everyone, including the people on social media and his family think women like Becca are superior to women like Luaren.  Becca will be more outgoing and helpful in his career, Becca will push him, Becca has dark hair, and, most importantly Becca is perceived as a "strong woman."  How many times did Arie say about someone, "She is such a strong woman! I love that!"  Is it any wonder he thought he should choose her?

Meanwhile he was falling in love with someone he was told he shouldn't love.  Lauren was quiet, yet she had moments of such sweetness to him.  He used words like endearing when he talked about her.  The only real tears I saw in the whole season was when Lauren first told him that she was falling in love with him and his eyes filled with tears, he started to speak and couldn't, and then had to leave the table to get his composure back.  Then there were Lauren's tears when she was talking to his mother.  Very unscripted and real.  But everyone thought Arie should chose the strong, confident woman whether his feelings were really that deep or not.  Unfortunately he caved under pressure but I'm happy for his choice of Lauren.  I think he does feel protective toward her and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

BTW. Lauren isn't shallow or stupid because she has blonde hair and all the remarks about how all blondes look just alike and we can't tell them apart is offensive.

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The DM to Bekah said , “ just realized you were born the same year as my first 2 on 1”

what did I miss? Bekah born in 1995. Arie’s 1st 2 on 1 was not in 1995!

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I am confused on the time line.  They came back to the USA and had some safe house visits, yes?

Then he contacted Lauren and he had to ask production for her number. ?  So is that how production knew and their plan hatched.  ?

This is why he just didn't break up with her on a safe house visit privately, which he could have done.  

2 minutes ago, yorklee2 said:

According to RS Lauren did give him the go ahead before he broke it off. You think he would have done it otherwise? No spineless creep had to have that safety net in place first. So Lauren very much knew what she was agreeing to and that she would be a willing partner in this takedown of Becca. They deserve each other.

Good point and no.  Wow.  Production would not have known about this had Arie not contacted them.  Wonder how that went down. 

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10 hours ago, TheFinalRose said:

And why was Ben Higgins sitting on the couch? I would have rather seen some analysis of Ari from Jef Holm

Ben was there because he told both of the Final 2 that he loved them, as Arie did.

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Becca: I want you to leave, I want you to leave, I want you to leave

Arie: Hold on, let me just sit here and stare into space. You're so selfish expecting me to give up more camera time.

 

I would feel bad for Becca but she ended up winning. Now she gets to choose between 25 hot guys while Arie is hated and will inevitably break up with Lauren as soon as he gets bored of the sex. 

I just don't know who's more of a sociopath, Arie or the producers/ Chris Harrison. Chris Harrison can't even maintain his composure with how excited he is about social media blowing up. Does anyone have a soul anymore? I get that these people sign up to have everything being filmed, but this is a new low.

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Quote

 

  10 HOURS AGO, THEFINALROSE SAID:

And why was Ben Higgins sitting on the couch? I would have rather seen some analysis of Ari from Jef Holm

Ben was there because he told both of the Final 2 that he loved them, as Arie did.

 

I know that, but he added nothing. I can't believe this guy is so fame hungry that he would come and sit on the couch just to say, "Yeah, I did that first." If he had added, "and man, did that screw up our relationship and contributed to our breakup" it would have been interesting. He has no connection to what was happening last night but he's there!

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12 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

Just leave Arie you ass!

Good Grief!  Why won't he just GO already?  It looks like he's enjoying watching Becca suffer.  If I were her, after about the sixteenth time I asked him to leave, I would have left, myself. 

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11 hours ago, Stan39 said:

Any possibility Arie was always going to pick Lauren and ABC asked Arie to do all this? This season was completely dull up until this point, for some inexplicable reason he's been zeroing in on Lauren for weeks. Had he simply picked Lauren to begin with, nobody would have batted an eye and this season would have been utterly forgettable. Are ABC and Arie that diabolical?

I honestly do think that this happened. I have to be honest, Arie is a complete and utter tool. But I never saw any sparks between him and Becca. Lauren is blank as ever but I saw the chemistry between them. I really think this was a set up. 

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2 minutes ago, Dittohead said:
12 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

Just leave Arie you ass!

Good Grief!  Why won't he just GO already?  It looks like he's enjoying watching Becca suffer.  If I were her, after about the sixteenth time I asked him to leave, I would have left, myself. 

Production told both of them to stay and not leave the hotel room/rental.  That is why.  

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2 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I honestly do think that this happened. I have to be honest, Arie is a complete and utter tool. But I never saw any sparks between him and Becca. Lauren is blank as ever but I saw the chemistry between them. I really think this was a set up. 

Not to mention, neither Arie or Lauren are capable of expressing themselves, so ATFR would have been painful to watch as they both just sat there vapid, smiling with nothing to say. Now at least there's something to talk about and other people can talk. Arie is so lame. 

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7 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

 

Caroline, the Judge, first with Krystal and then with Arie as "Unforgivable:"  Really, Caroline?  Breaking an engagement is unforgivable? 

 

Breaking an engagement is not unforgivable, but the way he did it was.  He let Becca travel from her home in the Midwest to wherever that safe house was located, thinking she was going to have a “happy couple” visit, and then he broke her heart and humiliated her with cameras rolling.  He refused to leave despite her repeated requests in order to get more footage.  He chose to be a reality TV star rather than a decent human being in that moment.  He showed his character — more specifically, lack thereof — in making that choice.  

I don’t think that Lauren is an idiot if she decided she wanted to have a relationship with him after he changed his mind.  The whole concept and production of the show is far removed from reality, and so rushed and manipulated by producers, that I could easily see how either the lead or F1, or both, could have second thoughts after the proposal, especially because they’re then separated for the most part while the show is airing, only allowed to be together occasionally and in secret.

But I do think Lauren an idiot if she stays with him after watching the footage broadcast last night.  If Arie either lacks compassion entirely, or worse yet agrees to override it for the sake of a TV show, he’s not a good choice for a husband. Maybe he’ll propose to Lauren and ABC will agree to televise the wedding but he’ll get cold feet. Instead of telling her privately, the producers will have her show up at the altar with her family and friends, in front of the cameras, and he’ll dump her at the altar.  Imagine the ratings!  

I think it was Maya Angelou who said, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” Arie showed himself to be cruel or at the very least a coward last night — both of these women deserve better. 

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27 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Caroline, the Judge, first with Krystal and then with Arie as "Unforgivable:"  Really, Caroline?  Breaking an engagement is unforgivable?  An  engagement is not a marriage, it's a trial period before a marriage and if the relationship doesn't pass the test it's a good thing they decide to cancel it.  Plus, it's a trial period times a hundred when it's a Bachelor engagement.  Those people are pushed to get engaged when they have only spent about 48 hours together!

I think Arie thought he should love Becca because everyone, including the people on social media and his family think women like Becca are superior to women like Luaren.  Becca will be more outgoing and helpful in his career, Becca will push him, Becca has dark hair, and, most importantly Becca is perceived as a "strong woman."  How many times did Arie say about someone, "She is such a strong woman! I love that!"  Is it any wonder he thought he should choose her?

Meanwhile he was falling in love with someone he was told he shouldn't love.  Lauren was quiet, yet she had moments of such sweetness to him.  He used words like endearing when he talked about her.  The only real tears I saw in the whole season was when Lauren first told him that she was falling in love with him and his eyes filled with tears, he started to speak and couldn't, and then had to leave the table to get his composure back.  Then there were Lauren's tears when she was talking to his mother.  Very unscripted and real.  But everyone thought Arie should chose the strong, confident woman whether his feelings were really that deep or not.  Unfortunately he caved under pressure but I'm happy for his choice of Lauren.  I think he does feel protective toward her and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

BTW. Lauren isn't shallow or stupid because she has blonde hair and all the remarks about how all blondes look just alike and we can't tell them apart is offensive.

People aren't mad Arie changed his mind, they're mad he did it in the most callous, self absorbed way possible. He filmed it and showed no remorse or compassion. He's completely self-involved and couldn't even bother to try and console her. 

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Arie: "I could honestly see a future with both women."

I know he is grammatically challenged. But maybe that's really what he means!

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Becca seems more embarrassed than upset.  She was not that surprised because Arie had been talking to her about his "feelings".  She really is the winner in this as it would not have worked out with Arie and now if she wants it she gets to be the Bachelorette.

I still think that the "Mesnick" situation was worse as it happened on ATFR and Molly was already in the wings waiting.  Not sure if Lauren is, but hopefully she at least makes Arie sweat for awhile if she does go back to him.  It really does seem like someone would have to have low self esteem to be #2 and immediately go back after #1 is dumped.  I can see in the future sometime down the line but immediately...jeez.

Arie seems like an a-hole now but he would be more of one if he didn't break up with Becca.  He could have waited a couple of months like most of the others have done.  I am not spoiled so have no idea what will happen with Lauren.  If they are together, I doubt it will last but who knows.  He picked the "marriage material girl" over the one he lusted after just like Mesnick and other Bachelors before him.  He definitely did not handle it well but at least he didn't string Becca along any longer which would have been worse. 

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So, Arie mentioned that Becca "knew" something was off, but I would bet almost anything (but won't just in case I'm wrong...) that Arie kept having sex with her in SPITE of his great love and longing for Lauren.  And, as Judge Judy says "you can't tell me what somebody else knew."  And who knows what he actually said regarding Lauren.  It could have been something as neutral as "I feel bad for hurting Lauren."  There's no way Arie told Becca about the true depth of his doubts (because then, you know, he probably wouldn't get the sex).

As for Becca's reactions to the breakup, that is so me.  When a couple of people broke up with me, I would not give them the satisfaction of a strong emotional response or begging them to stay.  Now, that's not to say I didn't break down once they left, but if it's over fine-just leave and I'll start sorting out my feelings, hurt, and anger.  

I found his refusal to leave bordering on emotional abuse.  I feel like he really did want Becca to hug him and tell him it's okay.

I would have had a lot more respect for Lauren if when he asked if he could walk her out she had said "no."  I understand that she was in shock, but I actually said out loud "have some dignity Lauren and stop holding his hand and just leave."  Everyone reacts differently to shock and break-ups; I respond more like Becca and therefore have no desire to make someone who is breaking up with me feel better.

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10 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

It is a VERY good thing that Arie broke up with Becca now...she didn't deserve to go for years knowing she was second-best, before he eventually divorced her after they already had kids. 

Yeah, there was zero chance that scenario would have ever played out. 

Quote

Arie is an actual piece of shit. Lauren is an entitled brat with no personality. I hope nothing but misery for the both of them for all of their days.

There is of course no arguing that Lauren has no personality. Entire galaxies could be swallowed up into the void where her personality should be.

But I am curious, what makes her an entitled brat? Nothing I saw makes me think that. Of course all I saw of Lauren was her physical being, as again, the woman has no personality whatsoever. I'll admit, I don't watch every minute of the show, so perhaps I missed something. But what exactly would that be? 

Edited by reggiejax
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The Grand Finale

In which a decision is made and then unmade and even more decisions are made as onlookers decide en masse to wash their hands of this court and this jester.

Super Bowls, Wimbledon finals, Sundays at the Masters, etc are fraught with tension but there is an air of resignation, even sadness, about things that are coming to a resolution.  After so much discussion and guessing it will all be over soon and a long wait for the next one will commence.

Unless, of course, you are Arie, who can boast that he has screamed into that terrifying first turn at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway at 200 mph but must also admit that he’s taken the coward’s way out of his own personal race while still managing to wreck the field behind him.

CH is here again and so are the barking sea lions in the audience.  CH has brought out his hangdog expression and is knitting his eyebrows so intensely he may produce a sweater at the end of the night.  But his intro is mercifully short and we’re taken back to Paddington Bear’s mountainous homeland.

It’s too late for Lauren to join The Ramones but she’s wearing their uniform of black leather jacket, white top and jeans.  Wine in hand, she’s writing in her journal.  Fellow scribe Becca is getting the profile-on-balcony edit with a rainbow – usually considered an omen – captured in shot.

Lauren is smiling without prompting or faking – this represents significant progress in her world.  Or perhaps it’s the wine.  But she’s off to the meet the family.  It’s been said that Dutch people exist to make Germans look warm, inviting and easygoing.  Actually, it’s just been said by me.  Still, the Dutch are rather abrupt but in many European cultures being brutally honest is a somewhat counterintuitive sign of respect and esteem ie if they’re telling you the unvarnished truth it’s because they care enough not to patronize you.

It’s less of a family gathering and more of a hazing session.  Arie’s mom is ice cold, refusing to offer a hand or a hug when the girls dissolve in tears.  Lauren offers the world’s least original toast.  Whatever she’s been writing in her book it ain’t poetry.

And zap – we’re back in the studio.  Caroline is the designated teeth-grinder and bearer of righteous quivering female anger.  She kicked off at Arie in the last ep with ‘You know what you did!’ and still has a face like thunder.  But the subtle, long-term conditioning of The Franchise is hard to shake so she dutifully plays along with making elliptical comments and avoiding specifics.

Today it’s Lauren, her abdominal muscles and Arie off to Macchu Picchu (gesundheit!) on a train that mysteriously has just 3 cars when seen from the air but has many more than that when seen from the ground.  Have Arie & the producers not yet learned their lesson about taking Lauren to UNESCO World Heritage Sites?  She couldn’t give a stuff.  Nordstrom is more interesting.  If you see tall, steep mountains with lots of greenery then it’s a safe bet that it rains regularly at elevation and the loved-up tourists are under umbrellas.  Did anyone check the forecast?  It probably doesn’t matter.  Fleiss & Co might or might not have a script but they DEFINITELY have a budget and that means the dates will go on even as it pours down cos they aren’t paying for additional nights in the hotel.

Kisses under 30,000 watts of klieg lights follow.  Even General Hospital scenes aren’t this brightly lit.  It’s blinding in the literal, not the figurative, sense to watch…God knows how the principals tolerated it.  Arie has Found Love – or maybe he’s just smirking because he got a TV network to pay for a jaunt to South America with a fit blonde 8 years his junior who would otherwise be out of his league, her flatline personality notwithstanding.

If the weather for Lauren’s date was bad, the weather for Becca’s is even worse.  Are we seeing cues, clues or just coincidences?  Arie wears a green watch for his Lauren date.  He wears a black-faced one for his Becca date and later puts the black one on as he’s getting dressed for The Big Decision That Isn’t.  A bus appears in a street scene with a reference to Chaska on its marquee.  Isn’t there a Chaska, MN?  And Becca is from Minnesota!  Hmmm….

Arie & Becca visit with some llamas – or are they alpacas?  Llamas have been known to expectorate in the face of those they find disagreeable.  The animals are thoroughly uninterested in the Yank visitors.  Perhaps they harbor an intelligence yet undetected.

Giant wine glasses have given way to giant juice glasses on the Becca date.  They’re huge – bigger than the pitcher from a blender.  If those drinks contain alcohol someone’s due for a major hangover.  Becca is overselling herself, their relationship, everything really.  She’s made more than a few references to having children and one suspects her subconscious is letting her agenda sneak out but it’s scaring the hell out of the man-child opposite her.

Becca gets her scrapbook out.  These things may seem innocuous but the titles and captions are another subtle way of framing ie suggesting a certain point of view to Arie.  Arie is thoroughly unimpressed with her efforts and one gets the sense that his feet are growing colder than International Falls in January.

Still, the ladies are getting dressed to the nines interspersed with shots of Arie inexplicably gamboling around Cusco.  Neil Lane has been released from his cocoon of preservatives and UV lights and Arie is decisive, for the first and last time, in selecting a ring.

Lauren’s nerves have pushed her into Terminal Vocal Fryese.  Cue the gasps – even if we’re unsurprised it’s her – as the beads of her gown cascade down as she steps out of the limo.  They tried, as usual, to throw us off the scent with ‘solid Lauren’ and ‘shaky Becca’ footage but the short-term result was predictable.  Anyone got a satellite phone?  Lauren’s father might be able to steal an F/A-18 off a carrier in Norfolk and strafe the mountainside where Arie is standing.  Or maybe she’ll just push him into the swiftly-moving river seen in the background.  Arie reveals the bad news.  Anyone who’s seen the Dudley Moore version of ‘Arthur’ can recall Susan (Jill Eikenberry) angrily shouting ‘DADDY!!!’ as he declares his love for another woman.  We half expect Lauren to do the same and we half expect Dave to emerge from the Peruvian forest and plant a haymaker on the cad Arie.  But Lauren’s Ice Queen persona quickly, visibly snaps back into place.  Losing Arie is relatively easy.  Getting rejected is slightly harder.  But the worst part has to be having a producer pester you with questions and having a camera thrust into your face in the close confines of the vehicle as you drive away in a daze.

Becca has removed the everyday ring previously seen on the third finger of her left hand as she gets ready.  Clever girl.  She’s absolutely gulping air.  Whoever’s in charge of the jib camera or drone is flinging the controls around like a madman.  We’re getting motion sickness just trying to watch as it zooms and pans.  You want an omen?  How about The Final Rose breaking off in her hand AND hitting the ground?

CH informs us it’s not the end.  Considering there’s an hour left in the broadcast window it’s a statement of the bleeding obvious.  Claims that the next segment will consist of cinéma vérité are false as we are held over through two ad breaks before the unedited segments appear.  Bekah M and Seinne are brought to the stage.  They had lucky escapes and now they know it even if they didn’t already.  But they also adhere to the policy of avoiding specifics.

Split screens and split personalities – well, Arie’s at least – follow as Arie delivers the shocking news and for once shocking means actually shocking at least if you’ve been spoiler-free.  Women’s intuition has been proven to exist time and again, but it’s somewhat unnecessary here.  Arie’s bizarre behavior prompts Becca to say ‘You’re making me nervous.’  The bomb drops.  Becca is surprisingly collected, at least initially.  The preacher’s niece with the cross tattoo lets fly with a few un-Christian expressions.  Understandably.  She immediately suspects a certain blonde with a blank expression is involved.

I half expected Ross to kick in the door like The Incredible Hulk or possibly burst through a wall like the Kool Aid Man.  The look on Arie’s sallow face would have been priceless.

Is there something in the union contract that dictates all camera and sound men must wear flannel shirts, even in LA?  Caution is thrown to the wind as various crew members are caught repeatedly in camera shots.  It’s odd – and unnecessary – to have one camera following Arie when a second camera is already stationed in the room he enters.  It’s an interesting psychological experiment - all the participants are so conditioned to have cameras present that even the distraught Becca doesn’t try very hard to avoid them, to ask or demand that they be turned off, etc. during this devastation.  Eventually and symbolically she unclips her body mic and battery pack to walk away from it all.  And how – HOW – could two cameras miss the money shot of Becca taking the ring off?!?!  One second it was on, the next it was off – all out of camera frame.

At least now we know why Arie was sitting alone on the ugly couch, who was weeping on the deck outside and why he tentatively opened the door.  ABC and DirecTV did themselves and us no favors by posting a ATFR spoiler of sorts in the episode summary in their on-screen guide.

Becca has already been plunged into one nightmare and gets a second helping courtesy of gratuitous shots of her backside in snug jeans in awkward poses as she attempts to close the suitcase she just opened.  Arie says he’s going to leave.  He said the same thing 30 min earlier and 30 min before that.  Can’t he take a very large hint followed by a very stern command?  Arie is the Sensitive New Age Guy with his narcissism and need for validation on full display.  Even after breaking off an engagement (however it happened) he doesn’t want anyone to have a low opinion of him - even the fiancée he just jilted.  He’s also got child-of-celebrity-syndrome in which he’s received praise, opportunities, breaks fair and unfair and exposure far beyond his modest gifts.

There are probably as many theories as there are gray hairs on his head as to why he did it but here’s mine:  Becca is an equal.  They would have to be adults, probably parents very soon, and live independently.  But Arie hasn’t done or even contemplated that yet at age 36 and doesn’t plan to start.  He may be a Junior named after Dad but he’s a mama’s boy all the way.  Lauren is a princess just as Arie is a prince.  He’s perfectly willing and able to subjugate himself to her and her family – when he’s among them – just as she’s willing and able to subjugate herself to his, especially since he can’t or won’t cut the apron strings by moving away (or even considering moving away) from their backyard.  Lauren offers a chance to stay in the bubble of unreality with or without the involvement of Reality TV.  Does he really want Lauren?  Possibly.  But she offers the perfect cover story for what can only be described as outright cowardice.  He’d much prefer to take a heap of recrimination for choosing The Other Woman than he would to confront his real problem which is a lack of a spine.

Now that the dam has well and truly burst it’s tempting to finally peek at spoilers regarding the status of the love triangle before tonight’s ATFR but it will keep.  If Lauren takes him back he should count himself lucky because his name is mud among 28 Bachelorettes and, oh, approximately 175 million other women.

Edited by Rainsong
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25 minutes ago, Palomar said:

Becca seems more embarrassed than upset.  She was not that surprised because Arie had been talking to her about his "feelings".  She really is the winner in this as it would not have worked out with Arie and now if she wants it she gets to be the Bachelorette.

I still think that the "Mesnick" situation was worse as it happened on ATFR and Molly was already in the wings waiting.  Not sure if Lauren is, but hopefully she at least makes Arie sweat for awhile if she does go back to him.  It really does seem like someone would have to have low self esteem to be #2 and immediately go back after #1 is dumped.  I can see in the future sometime down the line but immediately...jeez.

Arie seems like an a-hole now but he would be more of one if he didn't break up with Becca.  He could have waited a couple of months like most of the others have done.  I am not spoiled so have no idea what will happen with Lauren.  If they are together, I doubt it will last but who knows.  He picked the "marriage material girl" over the one he lusted after just like Mesnick and other Bachelors before him.  He definitely did not handle it well but at least he didn't string Becca along any longer which would have been worse. 

According to above posts, Lauren told Arie she'd be there if he left Becca. Who knows if this will get brought up tonight, but if true suddenly Lauren isn't so sweet and innocent. I get that all's fair in love and war, but have some respect for other people. If both Lauren and Arie agreed to this off-camera and decided to do this to Becca then they deserve each other. If things don't work out with Arie, how do other women ever trust Lauren or be friends with her?

Edited by Stan39
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21 minutes ago, Jazzhands said:

Breaking an engagement is not unforgivable, but the way he did it was.  He let Becca travel from her home in the Midwest to wherever that safe house was located, thinking she was going to have a “happy couple” visit, and then he broke her heart and humiliated her with cameras rolling.  He refused to leave despite her repeated requests in order to get more footage.  He chose to be a reality TV star rather than a decent human being in that moment.  He showed his character — more specifically, lack thereof — in making that choice.  

I don’t think that Lauren is an idiot if she decided she wanted to have a relationship with him after he changed his mind.  The whole concept and production of the show is far removed from reality, and so rushed and manipulated by producers, that I could easily see how either the lead or F1, or both, could have second thoughts after the proposal, especially because they’re then separated for the most part while the show is airing, only allowed to be together occasionally and in secret.

But I do think Lauren an idiot if she stays with him after watching the footage broadcast last night.  If Arie either lacks compassion entirely, or worse yet agrees to override it for the sake of a TV show, he’s not a good choice for a husband. Maybe he’ll propose to Lauren and ABC will agree to televise the wedding but he’ll get cold feet. Instead of telling her privately, the producers will have her show up at the altar with her family and friends, in front of the cameras, and he’ll dump her at the altar.  Imagine the ratings!  

I think it was Maya Angelou who said, “When people show you who they are, believe them.” Arie showed himself to be cruel or at the very least a coward last night — both of these women deserve better. 

Good post. Totally agree. And as we see in a few posts upthread Arie the conflicted, tortured soul who was so in love with Lauren was sending Bekah K messages in the meantime. Dude's a player so I think it's safe to say Lauren's happily ever after dream is just that. A dream.

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12 hours ago, Dejana said:

 

 

Say Sean Lowe really fast and it sounds like 'shallow.'  Which he undoubtedly is.

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7 minutes ago, Stan39 said:

According to above posts, Lauren told Arie she'd be there if he left Becca. Who knows if this will get broke up tonight, but if true suddenly Lauren isn't so sweet and innocent. I get that all' fair in love and war, but have some respect for other people. If both Lauren and Arie agreed to this off-camera and decided to do this to Becca then they deserve each other. If things don't work out with Arie, how do other women ever trust Lauren or be friends with her?

Lauren saying if things don't work out call me is not despicable.  Relationships from this show end much more than make it.  When she said good buy to him she said, I am still in love with you.  That was probably when she said it (edited out) which probably gave production an orgasm at the thought of a switch.  

We know this show is manipulated but it is a stretch for me to believe Lauren and Arie planned this.  I think production took advantage of a confused Arie and planted the seed to switch if he had regrets. 

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Now that I think about it the only person I ever thought Arie had any chemistry with was Jef with one f.

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2 hours ago, thesupremediva1 said:

Arie's refusal to leave was borderline abusive and over-the-top creepy. Stop waiting for Becca to hug you, wish you well, and absolve you of your sins. You don't deserve that from her, and you sure as hell aren't getting that from Bachelor Nation. You or your Stepford.

Speaking of the Beige Nightmare, I now feel totally justified in my season-long dislike of her which has now morphed into white-hot hatred. She took the call from Arie. She okayed his behavior. She sowed the seeds of discord. She likely told Arie she'd be waiting after he dumped Becca in front of cameras. Arie takes full blame here but she is clearly not innocent and I have no intention of whitewashing this dirtiest of Mesnicks out of courtesy to a woman whose only reactions to cities like Rome and Paris are mumbles and hair-play. 

I took flack for adoring Nick Viall. Who's missing him now? He could be nominated for Bachelor sainthood after this. See, it's better if you see low-level douche vibes up front. Then you know what to expect. But Arie? He waited til after the last rose to reveal himself. I have no respect for him at all. Who ever thought we'd see the day when Ben Flapjack and Juan Pablo would seem like ideal Bachelors? Arie took 5 years of goodwill and flushed it for a woman who can't have a conversation. 

The Dirtiest of Mesnicks needs to be on a T shirt or band.  Almost as bad as a dirty Sanchez.

Speaking of Mesnick, age agrees with him, as does the facial hair.  He looks 50 percent less dweeby.

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Help me with the timeline.  They met Aries parents in Peru, right?  Did all this go down in Peru?  They never came to the US?  One report said they broke up after a couple of months.   I am vague on the timeline because I have not become interested in this season until now.  :^)

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1 minute ago, Wings said:

Help me with the timeline.  They met Aries parents in Peru, right?  Did all this go down in Peru?  They never came to the US?  One report said they broke up after a couple of months.   I am vague on the timeline because I have not become interested in this season until now.  :^)

It looked to me like the breakup location was in LA. Not in Peru.

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5 minutes ago, Wings said:

Lauren saying if things don't work out call me is not despicable.  Relationships from this show end much more than make it.  When she said good buy to him she said, I am still in love with you.  That was probably when she said it (edited out) which probably gave production an orgasm at the thought of a switch.  

We know this show is manipulated but it is a stretch for me to believe Lauren and Arie planned this.  I think production took advantage of a confused Arie and planted the seed to switch if he had regrets. 

But we know that's not what happened. She didn't tell Arie he could call her if things don't work out. We know Arie spoke to her at least once while engaged to Becca. I seriously doubt it was a two second conversation to chat later if things don't work out. As posted before, Arie is pretty weak and spineless. I'm sure he asked for reassurance from Lauren that if he dumped Becca she'd take him back. For Lauren to give him that assurance while he's engaged to Becca is pretty shady. I don't know, I've been interested in women who were in relationships and they've confronted me with questions about our future. Maybe I was an idiot, but I always told them they needed to figure out their feelings for the other person first before I could answer because I didn't think it would be fair to the other guy. I also didn't want to get mixed up in a "love triangle" because I thought the emotions and feelings would be too confusing. 

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54 minutes ago, Wings said:

Production told both of them to stay and not leave the hotel room/rental.  That is why.  

But he kept going into the room she retired to.  The house looked big enough for him to be out of her sight.

anyway, when they met up at the beginning, he was pawing at her, plucking at her hair, and she was sitting with her legs crossed away from him.  She didn’t really want the old possum.  Acting and Stockholm syndrome here. 

I still hate him, so he’s actually done his job. Even if this show were sincere, most of the cast was out of his league, and he probably recognizes that.  Actually, when he was feeling dumb around Sienne, I think that’s the only time he was honest.

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Everyone seems to be forgetting how ATFR with Jason, Molly & Melissa went down. It all "seemed" to happen live on the ATFR special. There was not a live studiop audience. Just CH, Jason, Molly & Melissa. But Jason & Melissa had already basically broken up, she was already talking to her ex who she ended up marrying. Molly agreed she still thought of Jason, but also did not agree to move to Seattle or pursue anything serious for a long time. 

Then I believe two years later, they got engaged and ABC televised their wedding. Jason also SOBBED when he let Molly go home and showed actual remorse over the entire situation. Even Axeman Higgins didn't do/agree to do what Arie did. 

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13 minutes ago, Wings said:

Lauren saying if things don't work out call me is not despicable

Agreed.  I can't see why Lauren is being cast as the horrid home wrecker in this.  Aside from the fact that there is no home and just a several weeks long relationship, Lauren being willing to take Arie back just proves she really did love him, not that she was a party to Becca's "take down."   I did think it was telling that Becca seemed more concerned with how "embarrassing" it all was than about losing Arie.  Becca didn't seem to lose any sleep over how embarrassed Lauren had been standing in the final rose arena fully expecting a proposal.  That and all the times Arie held a rose in his hand while rejecting his date, were all more humiliating and more blindsiding, than Becca's break up, after being warned by Arie that he couldn't get over Lauren.

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