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S06.E12: Wishful Sinking


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This week, as I was pondering how, if at all, the editors were going to try to explain the absence of the Stassi/Katie/Kristin dynamic from the big bear trip, I noticed..."wait, we haven't even seen Schwartzie in almost 2 episodes".  At first I assumed he probably stepped up and did the "right" husbandly thing by staying home with Katie, and I recalled his brothers were in town so just chalked it up to those concerns.

But then he appeared on the screen mid episode.  And I immediately said to my husband "He looks like he went to rehab".  That's as healthy and sober and clean (in more ways than one) as I've seen him in years.  When he ordered iced tea at the restaurant I double wondered.  I'd forgotten how adorable lucid Schwartz can be.

And then I saw the preview for next week in Vegas.  If he did in fact clean up, it didn't last long.  

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4 hours ago, RHJunkie said:

Scheana talks about how long she's known Rob as a way to justify why she seems to be rushing the relationship so quickly. Rob talks about how long he's known Scheana to defend against claims that he doesn't really care for her but the reality is that the accusations against him isn't that he doesn't care, it's that he doesn't seem equally into it, which is also something he hasn't denied. Addressing the issue now by saying that things were said off camera - well things were said on camera as well and that also counts for something. Caring deeply for someone and being in love with them and making them your world and your 'one' is not the same thing. They both want to dress up their relationship around the fact that they've known each other for so long but there's nothing that he's said that doesn't make it seem like his years with Scheana was a friends with benefit situation and she just happens to be a friend he cares for and a reliable companion when needed. Fresh off Scheana's divorce, Rob is someone she trusts in her life and she's trying too hard to make the relationship something that it isn't or isn't ready to be just yet.

And another reason I don't trust either of them, they both describe their relationship as being 10-12 years running minus the years she was with Shay. Um hello, are we supposed to forget that her affair with Eddie Cibrian was also during this 10-12 year period?

Basically Rob’s explanation was, “I care about Scheana’s feelings. And I would still like to bang her. However, I would also like to bang other women. So I’m going to stick up for Scheana because I feel bad for her but I don’t want to date her exclusively or have other women think I’m in a committed relationship”.

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On 2/28/2018 at 1:49 AM, HunterHunted said:

He said Princess of Brunei. In the western world, that's how you would refer to the Sultan's daughters and his daughters-in-law. It's such a closed society that it has Sharia law. Which freaking "princess of Brunei" was Rob engaged to? This doesn't pass the smell test. It's so stupid. One of the richest men on the planet who is also a king, prime minister of his country, and head of religion almost let Rob marry his daughter? The only way this is slightly possible if Rob hooked up some addled wayward niece of the Sultan.

You are so right!  In what world would Rob's path have crossed with the Sultan's daughter???!!!  The male royalties have bodyguards (plural) with them at all times, and that goes double, triple for the female royalty.  How would he have gone past the security?  I can imagine a male royal seeing his sister Amber and wanting to speak to her, so he would send one of his men to ask her to speak to him, but Rob?  Nah.

 

On 2/27/2018 at 4:19 PM, hoodooznoodooz said:

When did Ariana become so clingy and insecure? Was her first season all an act?

I think so.  She wanted to seem like the Cool Girl and also like she's totally different from Kristen.  When Sheana was talking about the Miami Girl and how FI is such a good liar, Ariana was like, "Oh, I KNOW he is (but I'm so secure with myself, it doesn't bother me)."   But in season 4, when Peter (accidentally) mentioned going to Vegas with FI in front of Ariana, she got really mad and said "BYE!!!"  She said that she hates hetero-normative bullshit.

 

On 2/27/2018 at 4:26 PM, ivygirl said:

I literally can’t even handle this episode. Jax and Sandoval one-liners. Awesome flashbacks (not just the Jax stuff, but “we’re gonna ride bulldozers...”). Compare/contrast Lala’s “Errrrrrone takes their top off!”/Ariana’s “I’m scared to lose my top.” Hubris. Irony. Destructive relationship dynamics. Biblical references (by this I mean Jax’s statement about Scheana comparing Rob to Jesus and saying it’s amazing he doesn’t walk on water... cut me some slack, it’s the closest this show will ever get).

Whenever they talk about losing their top, it reminds me of Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, where Michele (in her bra) says to the crowd "I can't find my top!!" and the room cheers.

 

 

On 2/27/2018 at 4:47 PM, hoodooznoodooz said:

Kristen's short responses to Scheana yammering on and on about Rob were hilarious. 

"Okay."

"Yeah."

"Mmm-hmm."

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.  Sorry Sheana, were you still talking??"

 

 

On 2/27/2018 at 7:03 PM, Spiderella2 said:

Now it’s making me wonder if maybe Rob is part of Scheana Shay’s problem. He is telling her all these stories and mixing it in with exaggerations. She (gullible as she is), believes every single word. When she spews it out over and over again as an obsessed cult worshipper, she sounds so crazy and delusional. But maybe Rob is the one who is planting the seeds. 

 

I just don't understand ANYONE getting into relationships with any of the people on the show... after they've seen them on the show.  Maybe they want exposure, but come on!  Is it really worth it?  Also seeing as it NEVER shows anyone in a flattering light.  I mean, for three seasons, we were told how wonderful Patrick was, and then we see him and are like, WTF?! Are you kidding me???!!!!

 

 

On 2/28/2018 at 5:10 PM, Stan39 said:

This. 

I watch this show and all I can think is these people must have been raised by wolves. They can't really be "normal" they can only mimic what they think is normal in other people. The way they talk about other humans, what they focus on, is just bizarre. Stassi keeps talking about envying Lisa being a "boss bitch" or something, but she completely misinterprets what makes Lisa successful in life. Schwartz is amazed by anyone who can wake up consistently and keep a job longer than six months. Scheana thinks being in a healthy relationship involves eating meat from a tube and bossing her friends around to clean up her boyfrirnd's house. It's like they all grew up in an orphanage in Siberia and never had contact with other people until now, only they're too embarrassed to tell anyone so they just keep pretending they know what they're doing. 

Actually, if you grew up in an orphanage in Siberia, at least you'd have street smarts and survival skills.  These people have neither.  Schwartz is amazed by anyone who doesn't have a panic attack for doing their job.  Btw, how is Schwartz a mactor?  What acting roles has he had?

 

On 3/1/2018 at 9:37 AM, JenE4 said:

Has Rob verbally agreed on camera that they’re in a relationship? (He seemed pretty iffy even when talking with Sandoval and Jax.) They don’t kiss; he won’t tell her he loves her. The way Scheana is so frenetic about their “relationship” and doesn’t stop to take a breath, I just get the impression she shows up on his doorstep in a cyclone of “love” (picturing Taz from Looney Toons cyclone but with hearts) and he really has no choice in the matter. Maybe that’s why he didn’t have any food in the house—didn’t really agree to them coming—but Scheana promised don’t worry, we’ll get the place in binder shape and you’ll never know we were here! “They’re” doing this and that and naming kids, etc, but it’s just Rob silent or—usually—dead asleep while Scheana is in her whirlwind of love doing all this planning. He probably doesn’t listen to half of what she’s saying—and he doesn’t seem to acknowledge the other half he does hear. “I love you, Rob!!!” (Crickets) “Where’s the dog?” He’s actually very much like Shay, who was also a “silent partner” and just along for the Scheana Show whether or not he liked it. The only difference between the two that I can see is that Rob has family money and Shay was broke. Well, also Rob can hang a TV in 7 minutes and waterski—but Shay can drop mad beats in the studio, so we’ll call that a draw. I think for these “silent type” guys it’s probably exciting to be with someone with so much energy—also, if she’s running the show, they don’t need to. But eventually they realize it’s not about the pasta—er, about the “love” Scheana supposedly has for them—they realize they’re an accessory to Scheana and that she’s using them as a prop to look good to her friends. She puts a never ending amount of pressure on them to stay on the pedestal. What if, god forbid, Schwartz installs a TV in 6 minutes and suddenly Katie has the “better man”?! The horror!

Katie IS the better man!  I don't mean that Katie is masculine, but I mean, she knows how to do things and can be quite handy.  At least she's never been in trouble with Lisa or Ken for not doing her job properly.  As far as we know, she turns up on time, doesn't cause problems with the customers, and is good at her job.

 

I get that dating after (or during) divorce is hard, but you need to give yourself some time and remain single for awhile.  Certainly not jump straight into another relationship.  I'm not talking about the very very very small minority of people who got into a serious relationship straight after their divorce and it worked out and they lived happily ever after.  That almost never happens.  I'm talking in general, on the whole.

 

Jax was bitching about how annoying it was that Sheana kept talking about Rob, and yet, that's what it was like when he kept saying that he almost drowned and died.  Stfu, nobody is happy or relieved that you're still here.  As always, I don't believe you.  You did not almost die and you did not have your stupid useless life flash before your eyes.  That's like your cancer lie back in season 2.  He just would not stfu about having 'cheated death'.  I just skipped past it. Before I learnt how to swim, I almost did drown.  I was 10 years old and was bobbing up and down gasping for air (the part of the water I was in dipped 3 metres to the deep end from waist-deep depth, and I didn't know about it).  THAT resembles having cheated death, not whatever the frick Jax was doing out there.  Such bullshit.  He's always a lying bitch, but Jax was being extra bitchy this episode.  Non-stop whining.  Non-stop bitching.  Non-stop jealousy.  What a loser.  

 

Brittany keeps getting sick because of Jax's cheating and the stress that creates for her.  She might have an (or many) STD.  That would surprise NObody. Hepatitis B is mostly transmitted through sex and it causes feeling sick-like symptoms like nausea, being tired and vomiting (which might make Brittany think that she's pregnant). If you're in a long-term committed relationship, you shouldn't have to worry about getting regular STD check-ups, but Brittany sure as hell does need to.  I doubt she has ever had one.  I doubt effing Jax has ever had one!  How revolting.  Why tf do these silly girls keep having unprotected sex with him???  



Jax's life is bad and useless because he made it so.  You should have done actual work to improve your life, but you didn't.  He thinks that you can just get things by being who he is, and doesn't think that to get anywhere, you actually have to WORK. Shocker!  Like the whole being a fireman thing.  The fact that he thought that he could have passed the VERY rigorous  and screening process to become a fireman shows you just how stupid he is.  Jax's a lot like Andrew Cunanan withOUT the intelligence.  Total useless piece of shit.  


ARGH Sheana with your effing Real Man bullshit.  What an effing bitch.  Feel so bad for Shay now, although he did dodge (half) a bullet there.  Besides, Shay snowboards, and water skiing/boarding isn't hard to learn, so I'm sure Shay can do that too.


If FI were going to Vegas with just Schwartz and Lisa, that would be different, but then having everyone go as well is bullshit.  All sensible bets are off when Jax is invited.  Now that he's getting his business running, he's going to want to settle down and get married and have kids.  Ariana is not going to change her mind, so what's he going to do about that?  He has no future with her.
 

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On ‎2‎/‎28‎/‎2018 at 8:57 PM, HunterHunted said:

He cheated life but good. He's a bloated drunken 38 year old with a high school education who miraculously makes a probable half million dollars a year between his Bravo salary and appearance fees. He has really cheated life.

Maybe he is not dumb as he seems.

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3 hours ago, Higgins said:

Maybe he is not dumb as he seems.

My take on Jax has always been less that he’s dumb and more that he’s vacant. I actually don’t think he’s dumb. I think Sheena is sincerely not very bright. Same for James. I think Jax is smart enough. If Jax has been a different person who had a soul I think he could have gone to college, found a career, had a life. IMHO, his fuck ups are less that he’s actually stupid and more that he has no authentic human emotions and no desire to do anything difficult. I don’t think he actually understands the concepts of achievement and pride and growth. When he talks about anything that would require an inner life and self reflection, it always sounds like he’s repeating something he read that he doesn’t fully understand yet. Jax is all about survival in the moment. It’s what feels good now. I think that’s why he’s talking so much about having a plan and growing up and whatnot. These aren’t concepts that come naturally to him. 

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I think Ariana may have been acting in the beginning of her relationship with FI but maybe she was also less invested so she didn’t care as much.

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On 3/2/2018 at 11:21 AM, IDreamofJoaquin said:

I have to add:  We have discussed how pretty some of the women on the show look without make-up.  Raquel is not amongst that group.

I agree but I feel bad saying so because she seems so nice lol

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On 3/3/2018 at 6:55 PM, SFoster21 said:

 

On 3/3/2018 at 5:56 PM, Rbonnie said:

Brian Moylan recaps vanderpump rules?  Where???????? 

Vulture.

 

Thank you!  I wondered where he landed.  Can't wait to go read it!

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On 3/3/2018 at 2:32 AM, SarahPrtr said:

 

 

 

 

On 3/3/2018 at 2:32 AM, SarahPrtr said:

 

I just don't understand ANYONE getting into relationships with any of the people on the show... after they've seen them on the show.  Maybe they want exposure, but come on!  Is it really worth it?  Also seeing as it NEVER shows anyone in a flattering light.  I mean, for three seasons, we were told how wonderful Patrick was, and then we see him and are like, WTF?! Are yo

1

I had to laugh so hard at Jax's midlife crisis at Big Bear. Here was Rob, just a couple of year's younger than Jax and he is so much further down the road of life than Jax could ever hope to be. How sad is that? No wonder Jax is always miserable and behaves abusively to Brittany. He sees himself as a loser and he sees her as beneath him because (after all) what type of loser-female would want to be with him?

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On 2/27/2018 at 3:10 PM, RHJunkie said:

Jax is such a gossiper...of course he ran off and told them what Rob said, lol. But oh Scheana, you're making yourself look like a fool. 

 

But Oh Scheana you are "making yourself look like a fool"? She's way past that - she IS a fool, No argument.

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Hmmm.... Interesting how Ariana states that she thinks Scheana deserves better than this friends with benefits arrangement. Lala said that Scheana was buying Rob all these gifts!!

So Rob is saying on camera that Scheana is always saying, I love you, but that he does not toss that word around willy-nilly. Yet he wants us to think that off camera he is letting her know how much he loves her? 

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On 3/1/2018 at 1:52 PM, ghoulina said:

Oh my gosh, I didn't even put the two together. Good catch! What a tool she is. 

P.S. My husband is the epitome of "manly" in my eyes and he has never skied or snowboarded. But he HAS build an entire vacation cabin for us himself. So take that, Scheana!

But does your vacation house have a binder?  LOL <kidding>

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On 3/3/2018 at 4:55 PM, SFoster21 said:

Vulture.

Love his recaps! And I really appreciated that he pointed out Rob's own culpability in the situation because yes, Scheana's being clingy and braggy, but Rob also should have already broken up with her before this, not string her along.

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On 3/3/2018 at 6:51 PM, Silo said:

I think Ariana may have been acting in the beginning of her relationship with FI but maybe she was also less invested so she didn’t care as much.

I believe all were aspiring actors or musicians.  The guys also modeled and Katie was into the music scene somehow.  

Arianna and Kristen were also into stand-up comedy which always blows me away.  I love Kristen but I don't think she's sharp enough for it, and Arianna's personality is so bland, the combination just seems like oil and water!

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(edited)
16 hours ago, Jextella said:

I believe all were aspiring actors or musicians.  The guys also modeled and Katie was into the music scene somehow.  

Arianna and Kristen were also into stand-up comedy which always blows me away.  I love Kristen but I don't think she's sharp enough for it, and Arianna's personality is so bland, the combination just seems like oil and water!

The entertainment industry is a subjective and unfair business where success or failure is rarely based purely on talent, however based on the snippets I have seen of these people’s talent...I can see why they’re on a reality show. None of them strike me as having much in the way of actually ability. Sometimes you’re tending bar at SUR because that’s where you should be working and not because you’re waiting for someone to take your comedy seriously. I mean, god damn, Arianna really isn’t funny. 

Edited by FozzyBear
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On 2/27/2018 at 2:39 PM, bichonblitz said:

I don't see what's wrong with having a second home/vacation home and renting it when you aren't there. Also, why question whether it's Rob's home or a family home? Did I miss that it was hinted at somehow that he didn't buy the house himself? I believe it could be Rob's home. The guy does work, after all. And he's not an aging bartender or some loser DJ so I give him some credit for that. The only thing I do hold against him is that he had the least bit of interest in Scheana!

The lake house is definitely not Rob’s: https://www.vrbo.com/386645?unitId=386645

His “job” is producing an infomercial, This is LA, which profiled SUR:

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On 3/7/2018 at 1:52 PM, editorgrrl said:

The lake house is definitely not Rob’s: https://www.vrbo.com/386645?unitId=386645

His “job” is producing an infomercial, This is LA, which profiled SUR:

Oh geez. Ariana is so nasal, I thought that was Scheana; and it sounds like Guillermo is saying “welcome to Sewer” at the beginning... which is apt on some levels...

Edited by ivygirl
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