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S22.E08: Week 8


OnceSane
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If all these parents and siblings are going to be all "Oh, no you DON'T" to the Bach, then they need to stop their daughters/sisters from going on this shit show to begin with. That, or STFU. (My vote: STFU) All this "I'll kill you if you hurt her" is such scripted BS. You let her go on this sleaze fest, now live with it. This family crap happens every season. It's so predictable. Do all dates get grilled by these dysfunctional family members? Man, I'd be moving to the other side of the country to get away from them if I were some of these b-ettes.

  • Love 22
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LOL at Arie's flop sweat meeting Lauren's family. That's the first "real" moment the guy has shown us. And it's hilarious.

Becca's family is the only one I would be comfortable with, without having to be worried about being murdered in my sleep by one of them. Or poisoned during some family get-together. Or have my brain turned to mush by their constant improper use of pronouns.

  • Love 17
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55 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

If all these parents and siblings are going to be all "Oh, no you DON'T" to the Bach, then they need to stop their daughters/sisters from going on this shit show to begin with. That, or STFU. (My vote: STFU) All this "I'll kill you if you hurt her" is such scripted BS. You let her go on this sleaze fest, now live with it. This family crap happens every season. It's so predictable. Do all dates get grilled by these dysfunctional family members? Man, I'd be moving to the other side of the country to get away from them if I were some of these b-ettes.

I feel like so many of these family members just want their fucking "moment".  It's all about them all of a sudden.  Of course, there were people that I felt were very genuinely themselves, like Rachel's sister or Bryan's mother.  LOL.  But there are just so many attention needy people.

Tia was the least surprising cut to me.  I'm glad he did the right thing.  I never saw any interest towards her on his behalf whatsoever.  I'm pretty cynical so I honestly wonder if she was faking it too.  

I finally get Lauren and Arie.  

Kendall and her twin are so gorgeous.  I thought it was so funny that when she and her twin debated, they put them in different frames, instead of the same one.  Of course I thought of Lisa Kudrow playing both Phoebe and Ursula on "Friends" (never in the same frame because they were of course played by just one actor!)   By the way, if you guys have seen the movie Dinner for Schmucks - Kendall is Steve Carell's character.  I'll never get the taxidermy thing.

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
  • Love 17
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6 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

LOL at Arie's flop sweat meeting Lauren's family. That's the first "real" moment the guy has shown us. And it's hilarious.

Becca's family is the only one I would be comfortable with, without having to be worried about being murdered in my sleep by one of them. Or poisoned during some family get-together. Or have my brain turned to mush by their constant improper use of pronouns.

I'm an atheist, so that's the family I'd be least comfortable with!  I totally get Lauren's mother.  I've BEEN Lauren's mother.  

  • Love 9
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All these one-on-one dates and interactions with adults makes me realize how simple and immature Arie seems. There just doesn't seem to be anything going on upstairs. His response to everything is just to smile, giggle, say "Wow" or "Amazing", then start kissing whoever is closest to him. 

Becca is the rational choice, but he's going to pick Lauren. Did we hear him tell Lauren he's falling in love with her last week? Isn't that foreboden? He still can't describe anything he likes about her, except how he feels when he looks at her. 

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Lauren is the dimmest bulb ever! How anyone could find her interesting is beyond me! Wow, they certainly are wealthy tho. 

Becca is wayyyyy too good for him she reminds me of Mary Elizabeth Winstead (including the accent in her Fargo role)! 

Edited by JD5166
  • Love 15
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9 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Whatever happens in a few minutes at the RC, the best line of the series was Becca's, heard right before we saw her and Arie dunking apples in caramel:

"Stick it in all the way."

Oh, I totally caught that. A local radio station host has people send in snippets that the other hosts say that can be taken in a naughty way, and he plays them once a week in a segment called "Out of context." For a minute I forgot what I was watching and was ready to report the "stick it in all the way" so my clip would get on the radio.

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Arie left Tia in his dust, literally! There was no way he fit into her family or milieu.

Becca and Lauren have the most "normal" lifestyles. I mean apple-pickin' with Becca for Pete's sake! And Arie "connected" with Lauren's father over the Iraq visit. Semper Fi, Arie (how do you say that in Dutch? Hee!)!

Then there's Kendall of the Lambs...and Rats. Man, Arie is a good sport!

15 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Okay, that ending segment was the best one EVER on this franchise. A rat with a blond wig ... "This is Krystal." Puts Krystal in the car and shoves it off the table ..."Bye Kristal.

I so totally did not see this.

11 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Tia and Caroline both whispering KRYS-TAL in that very haunting way is always funny to me

Who is Caroline?

Edited by LennieBriscoe
  • Love 2
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Remember when Bachelor Nation was horrified that Kirk’s dad merely showed Ali his taxidermy basement? Well, buckle up. We got every species of mangy roadkill animal taxidermied here PLUS skinned rats that the Bachelor is forced to pull onto the frame (or whatever it’s called) PLUS a very creepy story about how Kendall liked to collect dead animals as a child and then realized she could keep them FOREVER. Seriously, how Arie didn’t high-tail it out of there immediately is beyond me! My uncle does taxidermy as a hobby so it’s not a foreign concept for me, but Kendall took it to a whole other level. I want to be with you, Arie, forever...(clutches her scalpel)...FOREVER...

Kendall’s sister is wearing a silk bathrobe, and I don’t even know what is going on with this family. Kendall says she kisses Arie when she doesn’t know what to say, and it sounds like she’s perfect for him—that’s his go-to maneuver. Oh, in a twist, the DAD brings up asking for her hand in marriage. Arie’s all, nah, I’m good.

Um, didn’t Tia supposedly set up this hometown date and yet she’s shocked by these race cars. Quite the assortment of cocktail weenies at the Tia family—pigs both with AND without blankets.  Tia’s brother looks like a UFC fighter, but Arie managed to talk his way out of The Kissing Bandit nickname confrontation. But Papa Tia has read the same internet articles and knows how to Google. This is somehow a threat: I know how to find you on Google. Ok? Then what? Send him a Mean Tweet? Yet he gives his blessing—which Arie actually asks for. 

Becca’s hometown. Somehow there are barely any leaves on these apple trees, yet, there are still apples. There are also no other customers. This is unlike any you-pick apple orchard I’ve ever seen, which gets masses of people swarming, picking the trees bare. Ok, we got Mom and Uncle Gary and 35 other unnamed adults. In a twist, Becca asks Mom pre-emptively for permission for Arie to ask for her permission. Mom does not, but gives in that I can’t stop you from leaving MN. Arie asks for a blessing and Mom gives “as close of a blessing as [she] can,” which is, I like you w/ a hug. Arie reports back that he got her blessing—and I’m not sure that really happened...but they seem happy together.

Every time they show Lauren, I think, oh, yeah, this girl exists! And of course it comes back to me that she was in two episodes in a row on silent dates, but as I get the feeling of Arie chooses her every morning he’d wake up, roll over in bed and startle himself that there’s a stranger there, before rubbing his sleepy eyes and having to remind himself, oh, yeah...my wife...

But somehow she’s saying more words on this hometown date than we’ve ever heard her say in every episode combined. She even has TWO crab leg puns! And, bonus, her family is loaded—but her house is so big that he feels far away in the big living room. But Arie is seen sweating and panicking to a producer, just like we can assume he did last week when he ran away from the dinner table when Lauren said she’s falling in love with him. So he must be really smitten with her if she causes all of these panic attacks. Or maybe he’s just not listening to his instinct telling him to choose “flight” in fight or flight mode. He flees but keeps coming back.

Lauren is another one pre-emptively asking for Arie to ask for permission. But, no need, but Arie wins Dad over big time by going over to Iraq to visit the troops. But instead of singing Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy, somehow they let Arie fly a fighter jet?? I don’t think it works that way, but maybe they let him sit co-pilot and not actually do anything. Mom is not as impressed. The commercials tried to make it seem like they’re all tough parents, but Mama Lauren is the real skeptic of the bunch, but even admits that Lauren looks differently at him and gives a half-hearted “I hope it’s real.”

Rose ceremony and Arie runs off in a panic again. With all of this sweating and nausea, I’m afraid he might have the flu. By kissing all of these girls, he might be Patient 0, creating this year’s superflu strain.

The fact that Kendall is going back inside, she’s definitely staying—even though she didn’t quite give Arie the reassurance he was looking for. But I guess one of the three inside is just “marriage ready” but not necessarily right for Arie. 

Bye, Tia! Ooh, Arie, you are going to get Googled!! But that was a good Bachelorette audition tape, so perhaps Papa Tia will spare you a Google—especially now that his little girl has, herself, become google-able.

Oh, damn!! The “Southern Ex” who shows up is NOT Tia’s ex, who I just assumed since the beginning since SHE was the only girl with a Southern accent. Not only that but TWTA first immediately followed the next night by the top three?? Is that the finale?? Or maybe just scheduling issues that it was pushed up?? Interesting!

  • Love 17
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9 minutes ago, chocolatine said:

Then when I saw the family dog running around cheerfully I wondered whether Kendall would also be "mounting" him when his time comes.

Anyone else fearing for that gorgeous black and white cat?  

  • Love 5
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Wow, Mr. and Mrs. Lauren trust their daughter’s decision making  ... the daughter who was engaged once (per her own admission) and twice (according to the Internet).  

Wonder how they’ll feel when they see her telling a national TV audience that their shitty marriage scarred her and keeps her from being able to open up AND that they used her as a pawn.

Also, Arie is a dullard ... who responds to a request for some Dutch with “what do you want me to say”? ... how about saying “nice to meet you” in Dutch,  then English translation and put the rude and bizzare request to rest quickly.   Has this woman never heard another language spoken before?  What a weird question to ask but, obviously, this entire family lacks even the most basic conversation skills.  

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I really wanted Uncle Gary to hit Arie with his cane. 

A shallow part of me thinks that the Bachelor wants to check out how well the mothers age before picking the fantasy suite ladies. I need a shower now, or a lobotomy. 

  • Love 21
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I wonder what Arie sees in Lauren.  That woman has no personality whatsoever and seems dead behind the eyes.  It’s clear that she is the one, because when he was around the other families he was fairly composed, but around hers, he was a nervous wreck.  Not to mention, he told her mother he was falling in love with her but didn’t give the other mothers that validation. 

  • Love 17
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20 minutes ago, Jazzhands said:

Anyone else fearing for that gorgeous black and white cat?

It's too late for that cat. It'll still be there in the taxidermy den ... forever. And ever. (Taxidermy eyes are very realistic.)

29 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

Kendall took it to a whole other level. I want to be with you, Arie, forever...(clutches her scalpel)...FOREVER...

Oh, man, now that's an angle I hadn't thought of. I'm all "Bye Kendall" now. (I watch too much Dateline.)

15 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

I've now watched the very end, aka previews, and there was no rat! sabre5055, what joke am I not getting?

Lennie, they always show an outtake at the very end, during credits. This one was Arie and Kendall playing with the rats. It was pretty funny, and Arie was clever, the Arie the show won't let us see this season. Anyway, at the end a third rat appeared wearing a long blond wig. "This is Krystal," Arie said. Arie put Krystal Rat in a toy car and said "Bye Krystal" as he shoved it off the table.

It oughta show up on YouTube soon. If you Google it. If you don't know how to Google, ask Tia's father!

Edited by saber5055
  • Love 22
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As I watched the taxidermy date, I kept wanting them to wash their hands.   And then shower the dead rat-skin germs off of them.   And then wash their hands again.       

I read an article in Cosmo years ago in which the advice columnist said that some men spark to a lot of women and some to a few.   Arie's a sparker.    She made it clear which you should choose.   

Edited by hyacinth
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escatefromny, I didn't think it was either "rude" or ignorant to ask Arie to speak a bit of Dutch; it isn't exactly a language most Americans are likely familiar with. I thought Arie was the dope there, putting the woman on the defensive with having to come up with a phrase.

Anybody catch how Arie the Realtor said "Beautiful home" to Lauren? Heh.

sabre5055, I'm going to watch it on my Tivo again, only because it is a copy of what I actually watched! (Google? Is that like Barney Google? ;-) )

ETA: sabre5055, There were RATS! And Arie sent Rat-tastic [tm Lauren B.] "Krystal" on her way! Bwahahahaha! As I noted earlier, straight outta "Dinner with Schmucks"!

image.png.91345cd8c8036af34f716aad66900055.png

Edited by LennieBriscoe
Because I need to read posts more carefully!
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2 hours ago, rlc said:

That whole taxidermy thing completely freaked me out.

It's because you're either scouring the side of the road for road kill, or you're killing them to stuff them.  And they showed the least disgusting part of the process.  Imagine the smell . . .

  • Love 9
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1 hour ago, Jazzhands said:

Anyone else fearing for that gorgeous black and white cat?  

Um... it was already stuffed..seriously?

Also Tia's mom looks exactly like the witch in Snow White, with the apple.  They tried to purdy her up for the show...but sweet googley moogley ?

Edited by Christi
  • Love 18
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I think Tia ruined her chances when she showed up for the rose ceremony in a wedding dress!  She scared him off for sure!  As much as he claims to want this, deep down I don't think Arie is really ready to marry anyone.

Edited by Real4real
  • Love 3
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1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

I wonder what Arie sees in Lauren.  That woman has no personality whatsoever and seems dead behind the eyes.  It’s clear that she is the one, because when he was around the other families he was fairly composed, but around hers, he was a nervous wreck.  Not to mention, he told her mother he was falling in love with her but didn’t give the other mothers that validation. 

Not sure, but she is VERY similar looking to Emily Maynard, they could be sisters.  

  • Love 5
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2 hours ago, dizzyd said:

The entire time Tia was crying, I imagined her rebounding just fine in a few months on BiP.

After the initial shock of being eliminated wore off I think she was concentrating on giving a B'ette worthy performance. Right about the time sitting on the bench when she said, "I'm ready to go". Also Arie didn't seem that broken up about sending her home. He seemed more upset sending Bekah home as he actually shed tears.

2 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I wonder what Arie sees in Lauren.  That woman has no personality whatsoever and seems dead behind the eyes.  It’s clear that she is the one, because when he was around the other families he was fairly composed, but around hers, he was a nervous wreck.  Not to mention, he told her mother he was falling in love with her but didn’t give the other mothers that validation. 

I noticed that too. There obviously was/is more footage of these two that we weren't shown because their deep connection seems to have come out of no where and I could actually see it tonight for the first time. And yes the fact that he was so nervous around her family spoke volumes.

Edited by yorklee2
  • Love 7
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Arie usually reads Dull to me but tonight he inner con artist really came out.   He said the same thing on every hometown date to the families... "I'm really falling for (insert name of girl)"   The families are always looking for some information or at least a shifty tell when he answers the question but ol Arie didn't even miss a beat or bat an eyelash telling lies to mothers brothers uncles aunts.

I'm so glad Lauren's dullard family trapped him to at least pause before he unleashed his inner fake soliloquy.  It reminded me of that scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding when Tula has that awkward dinner with his parents!

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4 hours ago, JD5166 said:

Even when I was young and thin I have NEVER jumped on a man and wrapped my legs around him. 

me neither. It seems dangerous.  jump a little bit off, and the guy could fall over, or sprain his back.  It also seems WAY too intimate, pressing your lady bits up against him (and dangerous, if he has a belt buckle) 

I've also never, as an adult, entered a hotel suite and jumped on the bed.  And there's a screechy noise that these women make that has never been made by my vocal cords. 

  • Love 23
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2 hours ago, escatefromny said:

Also, Arie is a dullard ... who responds to a request for some Dutch with “what do you want me to say”? ... how about saying “nice to meet you” in Dutch,  then English translation and put the rude and bizzare request to rest quickly.   Has this woman never heard another language spoken before?  What a weird question to ask but, obviously, this entire family lacks even the most basic conversation skills.  

 

2 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

escatefromny, I didn't think it was either "rude" or ignorant to ask Arie to speak a bit of Dutch; it isn't exactly a language most Americans are likely familiar with. I thought Arie was the dope there, putting the woman on the defensive with having to come up with a phrase.

I'm multilingual, and as a I child I got asked that a lot. I wouldn't go so far as to call it rude, but it always annoyed me. It feels like you're being put on the spot to "perform" in a way. I much prefer "how do you say X in Y language." 

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