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ElectricBoogaloo

Quotes: "I Only Hate Sunburns and Hangovers."

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Maddie: It's Algebra 2.
Deacon: Oh, there's a sequel.

 

Maddie: What was your childhood like?
Deacon: Well, I never really had much of one. That's probably why I act like a child nowadays.

 

Deacon: I've been called a lot of things in my life. Freakin' Deacon. Too many other things like damn drunk or loser or the defendent.

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Deacon: [Maddie]'s getting really good [at the guitar], unlike some people I know.

Rayna: I never had to be good. I had you!

 

Maddie: You know, mom, you could sign us all to Highway 65 and we could all sing together.

Rayna: Nice try! Honey, we'll have that conversation after you're done with school.

Deacon: Don't look at me. She's right. By the time you're our age, childhood's gonna seem like five minutes. Enjoy 'em.

Maddie: This is ridiculously stupid.

Luke: Whoa, what ruffled her feathers?

Rayna: She just found out her world tour got canceled.

 

Deacon: What?
Scarlett: I didn't say nothing.

Deacon: Well you didn't say it pretty damn loud.

 

Rayna: Screw Jeff Fordham!

 

Jeff: Hello, ladies.

Scarlett: Uch.

 

Deacon: What are you doing, Juliette? You show up drunk to a recovery event?

 

Rayna: Everyone deserves to be forgiven. Well, not Jeff. Jeff doesn't but everyone else does.

 

Rayna: You got to do the right thing and tell Avery, whatever the consequences bring. That's what it is to be a big girl.

 

Tandy: There is a place for principles and ethics and all of that. But it's not in business.

Rayna: Oh, hello, daddy.

Tandy: Point taken.

 

Juliette: Hey, Jeff. Thanks for the worst minute and a half of my life.

 

Scarlett: Are you drunk?

Avery: Well, if I'm not then I wasted a lot of beer.

 

Avery: I'm over it.

Scarlett: It really looks like it.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Rayna: You got to do the right thing and tell Avery, whatever the consequences bring. That's what it is to be a big girl.

Rayna better watch out, lightning might strike her. For someone who lived a lie for a decade and a half, she sure is self-righteous about other people owning their behavior and telling the truth.

Edited by vera charles
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Gunnar: Well, I can't be sure but I may have gotten chiggers.

 

Avery: I really love you guys.

Gunnar: Yeah, we love you too.

Scarlett: I'm so glad this near death experience has brought you closer together.

Avery: Gunnar is not just my friend. He's like my bro, you know. Scarlett Blue Sky O'Connor, you're like my girl bro.

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Gunnar: Well, I can't be sure but I may have gotten chiggers.

 

Avery: I really love you guys.

Gunnar: Yeah, we love you too.

Scarlett: I'm so glad this near death experience has brought you closer together.

Avery: Gunnar is not just my friend. He's like my bro, you know. Scarlett Blue Sky O'Connor, you're like my girl bro.

OF COURSE her middle name is Blue Sky.

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Zoe: What kind of girl just leaves without her underwear?

 

Gunnar: We are not having you become some drunk heartbroken loser.

 

Teddy: What's your sister doing?
Daphne: The last time I saw her, she was cutting off her pants.

 

Pam: I'm Pam, Luke's new backup singer.

Deacon: Congratulations and condolences.

 

Pam: You're even cuter when you're angry.

Deacon: I must be downright adorable right now.

 

Sadie: I absolutely idolize Rayna James.

Jeff: Yeah, people like her.

 

Noah: Have you acted much?

Juliette: No, but I've done my fair share of pretending.

 

Gunnar: Come on, man. Put it down! We've got a show to do.

Avery: You warm up your way, I'll warm up mine.

 

Talia: Who is she?

Maddie: My cousin.

Scarlett: Her dad's niece.

Random guy: You're a drag is what you are.

Scarlett: Hmm, he's a catch. You'll thank me later.

 

Scarlett: Don't forget to put your other clothes on.

 

Deacon: You gotta the only damn woman in the world that doesn't know I'm in love with Rayna James.

Pam: Well from what I saw tonight, she's in love with someone else so that either makes you crazy, stupid, or both.

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Zoe: What kind of girl just leaves without her underwear?

But what kind of girl touches said underwear, Zoe? Ew!

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Pam: The booze jokes are below the belt and I'm sorry. I should have gone with something about your endless supply of denim shirts.

 

Deacon: ZAG without you is just ZG. That's a terrible name for a band.

 

Deacon: Are you stalking me?

Pam: Yes, I am. I'm going to follow you from city to city to city because that's what generally happens when you're on tour together. Nice shirt, by the way.

 

Jeff: Big dreams, small talent.

 

Sadie: If I'd known I was abducting Rayna James today, I would have brought my station wagon.

 

Maddie: I guess that means the mani/pedis are off?

Rayna: Are you kidding me? Nails before business. That is my motto.

 

Jeff: You crossed the line tonight, Rayna.

Rayna: Are you seriously going to try to claim the moral high ground here? You don't deserve to have one single woman on your label.

Jeff: Sadie and I had a deal.

Rayna: Oh, you mean the way Will Lexington and I had a deal? You're a thief and a whore.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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From S1

Scarlett: I know you don't like him.

Deacon: why does everybody keep saying that? What am I supposed to do, hand him a balloon every time I see him? I like him just fine.

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Avery: [Lamaze] is just a little too intimate for me.

Juliette: Too intimate? We've had sex!

 

Gunnar: You can't return a phone call but you show up unannounced, huh?

Will: I didn't want to pay the roaming charges?

 

Gunnar: Zoe's helping with [Micah].

Will: How's that working out?

Gunnar: She hasn't complained...What?

Will: I may not be an expert on women, but I know them well enough to know when they're pissed.

Gunnar: Oh, so that's why you're sleeping on our couch?

 

Layla: They made you look like a sex symbol.

Will: They made me look like I don't own any clothes.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Juliette: I'm not exactly mother material. Look at who I had as a role model. We are who we learn from. I know everything about being a mom from her.

Avery: If that were the case, I'd be a judgemental unforgiving jackass just like my dad.

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Thank you EB for keeping the quotes coming! I'll repeat my fave, from a season or 2 ago:

Rayna asks Liam why the cowboy boots she gave him didn't work out, and he says "I clicked my heels three times, and I didn't turn into Deacon".

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"I clicked my heels three times, and I didn't turn into Deacon"

I have always loved that quote. That was a time we all thought she would go back to Deacon, boy did they fool us.

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Juliette: I'm not exactly mother material. Look at who I had as a role model. We are who we learn from. I know everything about being a mom from her.

Avery: If that were the case, I'd be a judgemental unforgiving jackass just like my dad.

I loved that scene so much.  Juliette gave great face there.  I also loved her delivery of "I peeked" when she accidently outed the baby's sex.  She was so cute.

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Emily: I'm sure it's not what it's look like.

Juliette: It's always what it looks like.

 

Gunnar: I'm not really in it for the money.

Zoe: Maybe that's because you have a whole bunch of it in the bank while some of us are sleeping on our friends' couches.

 

Zoe: You would rather me play mom to your kid than play music. No thank you!

Gunnar: Wow, I had no idea you could be so incredibly selfish.

Zoe: If it's selfish to not want to be tied to YOUR responsibilities, then yeah, I guess I'm selfish.

 

Rayna: Think we're going to have to amputate?

Daphne: No.

Maddie: Yeah.

Rayna: Can you grab a knife?

 

Jeff: I had my own musical aspirations to get over.

Layla: Oh, really? Were you in a Dave Matthews cover band in college?

 

Avery: You okay?

Scarlett: Yeah, it's just PTSD. I'm fine.

 

Deacon: I've never been able to let go of you. I didn't let go when you married Teddy. I haven't let go all these years. I'm not letting go now. So you were right. I have to ask myself why? Why am I not letting go?

Rayna: Why won't you?

Deacon: Because I love you. That's it. It's easy. I always have and you're just going to have to deal with the fact that that ain't gonna change.

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Tandy: That [wedding] dress is a huge improvement over your last one.

Rayna: What were we thinking with the off the shoulders and the big poofs?

Tandy: The 90s were cruel.

Rayna: But the hair was a good height.

 

Scarlett: Didn't know you were so enamored of water fowl.

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Deacon: I'm not trying to cause any trouble here, alright?

Tandy: Oh, really? Well I guess punching Luke in the face in front of the paparazzi, that's been super helpful.

 

Avery: I was upset about a chair.

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Deacon: Why is [Maddie] facetiming me now?

Scarlett: Because you're her dad and she wants time with your face.

 

Gunnar: Well it's not Shakespeare but bitch does rhyme with witch.

 

Luke: What do y'all say to a boys' night out?

Gunnar: Well I would if it were night.

Luke: Well that is the great thing about Nashville. It's always dark somewhere.

 

Scarlett: I got you some carrot juice and some bee pollen to go with your milk thistle.

 

Doctor: Scarlett, you ever heard of the term "happiness bully"? Your relentless optimism can be as much of a crutch as your uncle's pessimism.

 

Luke: I always had my suspicions but now you've confirmed them. You're sensitive. Well guess what? So am I!

 

Luke: You should try writing one of your own [songs]. Your first love sleeps with your brother? Gunnar, it doesn't get any more country than that.

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Avery: If [Rayna] can get Jeff Fordham fired, she can get a lawsuit thrown out.

 

Deacon: Having a choice isn't the same thing as having control. When you don't have that in your life, it can make a person pretty crazy.

 

Avery: I'm sorry, it's kind of hard to hear. Are you saying I was right?
Juliette: Okay, bye! Have a great day!

 

Rayna: Hey, Pete, I not exactly sure what your problem is. Maybe the good lord only gave you two inches, I don't know, but I'll tell you one thing - you ever try to contact my friend again or in any way mess with her, I will make it my mission to ruin you. And unlike you, I actually have the power to do it.

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Maddie: It's over with Luke. You don't have a girlfriend. It's so simple to me!

 

Gunnar: Guess who's opening for Rascal Flatts tomorrow night at the Bridgestone?

Avery: Not us?

Gunnar: Yes, us!

Scarlett & Avery: Squeeeeeeee!

Gunnar: Which I guess means we need a real band name.

Avery: Yeah, SAG's not gonna cut it.

Scarlett: Well, I'm not a founding band member so whatever you guys want is cool. I gotta go.

Gunnar: What? No, you're smarter than both of us put together. We need your help!

Avery: Hey, speak for yourself!

 

Jeff: Absolutely not!

Layla: What's wrong with [this dress]? It's a dinner meeting with Bucky.

Jeff: Nothing if you're Ariana Grande, but we're trying to rebrand you as a serious artist. Less sparkle, more black.

 

Rayna: You were five and you I was breastfeeding backstage.

Daphne: Mom! Gross!

 

Will: What's all this?

Gunnar: I'm trying to come up with a new band name.

Will: Scar Gunnary? Liquid Sister? Biscuits and Honey? Let me guess - you're honey.

 

Will: The last thing I need is for people to see me around town with some swishy gay dude.

Gunnar: Did you seriously just say that?

Will: Well, it's not the kind of music I want to write.

Gunnar: Oh, what, good music?

Will: Touchy feely ballad crap.

Gunnar: Alright, well now you're just being stupid. Kevin can write beer and truck with the best of them but his songs actually mean something. And just for the record, he's written with Luke Bryan and Blake Shelton and no one thinks they're gay, but fine, if you want to be an idiot and stand there with your beer bottle and just - oh, Beer Bottle. Beer Foam. The Foam, that's good. No, it's like an 80s band from England.

 

Scarlett: I'm in this band with my two ex-boyfriends, which is weird, I know, and we're opening for the openers of Rascal Flatts.

 

Avery: How about Boomtown Gulch?

Gunnar: No.

Avery: The Leather Guitars?

Gunnar: You're just naming stuff in the room!

Avery: How about this? On the count of three, we both say a random word, put them together, we got our band name.

Gunnar: Yeah, that's worth a shot. One two three!

Avery: Whiskey!

Gunnar: Frogs!

Avery: Frogs? No. One two three! Highway!

Gunnar: Cheese! Okay, I panicked.

Avery: Cheese?

 

Gunnar: You said you'd be cool with whatever.

Scarlett: As long it's not Two Guys and Their Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, I'm good.

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Gunnar: If you don't upload a photo then you're just an egg, and no one takes you seriously when you're just an egg.

 

Teddy: Completely off the record.

Albert: Is there any other way?

 

Jeff: You're late.

Layla: Like five minutes.

Jeff: That's still late.

 

Teddy: Jeff.

Jeff: You're starting to be a bit of a stalker, Teddy.

Teddy: Hey, look, you're the one who decided to play the blackmail card and I've taken that lesson to heart.

Jeff: I'm not sure what that means, but good for you.

 

Gunnar: So this guy flies to Chicago after one date? That's pretty odd.

Avery: Well, it's either odd or charming.

Gunnar: I mean, what do we even know about him? He could be an axe murderer.

Avery: Except we know he's a doctor.

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Teddy: Can I ask you something, Albert? You ever feel bad about what you do?

Albert: I've only provided you information. What you do with is your business.

 

Texts from Juliette:

 

 

What about Dawn? Or Cynthia? Tessa? Miranda?

 

Should we go crazy? Like Cherry? Sparkle? Vanilla? Sierra? Minnie?

 

Or maybe more traditional? I kinda like Hazel. Or Gwen. Or maybe Maybel? Nobody is named Maybel.

 

What about something Disney? Belle? Jasmine? Ariel? Whatever Tarzan's girlfriend's name was?

 

How about Delores?

 

Avery: I gotta look at these baby names Juliette sent me. Otherwise I'm going to end up with a daughter named Sparkle.

 

Sadie: You think they'll let me finish my album in prison?

 

Juliette: I am relieved since now I know exactly where I stand, somewhere below your precious little label and your stupid perfect hair.

 

Scarlett: As somebody once said to me, all I felt was music.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Luke: I'm pretty sure it's not my cup of whiskey.

 

Rayna: Y'all doing some business?

Jeff: No, I'm more interested in developing new talent.

Rayna: Well, it's good to have a hobby.

 

Luke: What in the world am I going to wear? I left all my sparkles at the dry cleaners.

 

Will: Instead of asking [Kevin] out, I went with insulting his songwriting.

Gunnar: Interesting choice. Just apologize for being a jackass.

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Luke: What in the world am I going to wear? I left all my sparkles at the dry cleaners.

I have not been overly fond of Luke, but I totally loved him for that line. 

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Scarlett: We're going to be spending a lot of time with this guy and it ain't too much to ask that he bathe regularly and that I can understand him.

 

Deacon: I'm pretty sure Daphne just bid on a pony.

 

Jeff: It's been a while. When you gonna have that baby?

Layla: Just ignore him. You look amazing.
Juliette: I know.

 

Layla: Did you know that Jade was going to be here?

Jeff: No.

Layla: You know my concert got really good reviews. You should see if there's a more permanent spot for me on her tour.

Jeff: No.

Layla: Are you going to use any other words tonight?

 

Luke: Teddy, I know about Deacon. Tough break. The guy's been a thorn in my side and nobody knows better than you what that feels like.

 

Jade: Truth be told, I was kind of hoping you'd suck if only to prove Jeff wrong.

Layla: It's the worst when he's right, isn't he?

Jade: Totally.

Layla: Tell me about it.

 

Juliette: I'm rich and I need this. BID!

 

[scarlett sighs]

Deacon: What? About your situation or mine?

Scarlett: I don't got no situation.

 

Jeff: You're still ignoring my advice.

Layla: No, I'm just ignoring your concern.

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Caleb: Since when do musicians wake up before doctors? Aren't you guys supposed to sleep until noon?

 

Caleb: The Triple Xs are officially just The Exes

Scarlett: Well, it was either that or the Whiskey Frogs.

 

Juliette: Were they doing it?

 

Juliette: Maybe I can be a cautionary tale.

 

Jade: What's your favorite love story?

Luke: Shawshank Redemption.

 

Luke: Right now I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love her.

 

Deacon: I should get some pointers on being spontaneous.

Juliette: It's actually not that hard. You just listen to what people want you to do and do the opposite.

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Deacon: You don't gotta marry [Gunnar]. You just gotta sing with him.

 

Noel: You'd never believe they wanted to kill each other this morning.

Avery: Sounds about right.

 

Rayna: Hey y'all.

 

Glenn: While your fiery personality is usually an asset, lately you've just been rude and irrational.

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Rayna: Hey y'all.

 

It should be required that she say this at least once per episode. Its just the best thing...

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Juliette: Screw you, screw you, and definitely screw you.

 

Doctor: Irritability, moodiness, lashing out.

Avery: That describes my wife before all this.

 

Beverly: You put me in a terrible position when you showed up with that check because, you see, I'd either be the bitch who needed a million dollars to save her brother or I'd be the bitch who a million dollars wasn't enough for. Either way, you come out the hero trying to save him.

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Will: Kevin's acting like it's all me. It's not my fault Luke told me not to go out in public.

Gunnar: Okay, slight major exaggeration there. Luke pulled you off his tour temporarily and asked you to run any press requests through him and Jimmy.

Will: I don't want to do any press.

Gunnar: Well, great. It's a win-win!

 

Gunnar: Look, at some point you have to stop being afraid of who you are and trust that what's meant to be is what's meant to be. Or at least take a shower.

 

Patrick: Kick ass.

Juliette: I always do.

 

Avery: I take my vows seriously.

Avery's mom: You took a vow to be a husband, not a martyr.

 

Kevin: It's good to see your face again.

Will: I thought you said I could pull off a beard.

Kevin: I was being nice.

 

Rayna: I know you. I know that honest and open conversations are not your thing.

 

Juliette: As a woman it pains me to see you have so little self respect.

Layla: What?

Juliette: You in bed with Jeff Fordham, literally. You must hate yourself.

Layla: You don't know anything about him. You don't know anything about me. Jeff is actually-

Juliette: A terrible human being. Unlike you I was smart enough to make sure it was a one time thing.

Layla: You may have been just a piece of ass to him, but he loves me. And I love him.

Juliette: Omigawd, I didn't think I could think any less of you but there you go, making it happen.

 

Juliette: I want Layla gone. Send her back to Nashville, push her in front of oncoming traffic, I don't care as long as I never have to look at that smug little face again.

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Wade: No offense.

Rayna: Some taken.

 

Bucky: There's out of the box and then there's out of your mind.

 

Avery: Stop saying what you don't deserve and just accept that you have it.

 

Juliette: You're my manager, not my bartender.

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Will: What's with all the fussiness?

Gunnar: Are you talking about Avery or the baby?

 

Rayna: Of all the things I thought might happen today, you getting kicked out of school for being in a fist fight was not one of them. You want to tell me what happened?

Daphne: No.

Rayna: Well that's not going to be an acceptable answer.

 

Juliette: So this is really your idea of a fun day off?

Luke: We are standing on America's original motor speedway, home of the Indianapolis 500 and the Brickyard 400. What the Ryman is to country music, this place is to racing. This is a temple and we have come to worship.

Juliette: And here I thought we were just driving in circles in a hot car in front of an empty grandstand.

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Will: That's gotta suck - being in love with somebody that doesn't want you around.

 

Gunnar: I had a spark with Emily this morning. Over the milk. We touched hands.

Will: Well if that's all that it takes then I had a spark with Emily too.

Gunnar: No, really. I think she's into me.

Will: First of all, no she's not. Second of all, that's a terrible idea.

 

Rayna: I would be lying if I said I didn't have a problem with Jeff.

 

Will: We're gonna find the love of Gunnar's night somewhere around here.

Gunnar: I don't need your help. I got this. Watch. Hey!

Lindsay: No.

 

Will: She's sexy. I'm gay, not blind.

 

Girl: You're the boyfriend?

Gunnar: No, I'm not gay. There's nothing between me and Will. I mean, he did kiss me once but that's not the same thing, right?

Kevin: You guys kissed?

 

Layla: Everything you said about Jeff is true. He can be a total jerk. He's too old for me. And there are times when I really don't like him.

 

Luke: I can't always be your friend, son. Sometimes I have to be your dad.

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Erin: How did you get my number?

Gunnar: Actually it's kind of a funny story. I called Juliette's tour manager and asked him for it but he wouldn't give it to me because of some confidentiality policy. Anyway, so I told him I was looking for a sound tech - you know, because Juliette had you fired. Quick thinking, right? Anyway he finally gave it to me and now here we are.

Erin: Okay, so what do you want?

Gunnar: Well, you left your earring here and I figured you probably wanted it back.

Erin: I wasn't wearing earrings last night.

Gunnar: Oh.

 

Rayna: The word is out on you. DIfficult, arrogant, abrasive - all of it kind of proving to be true right now.

 

Rayna: You know, people, they're always going to be negative but that can't take away from what you do and how you feel about it. I mean, you love music, right? You love how you feel when you're singing, right? No one can ever take that from you.

 

Glenn: It doesn't matter how much you care about [Juliette] if she doesn't care about herself.

 

Luke: I told you this would be fun.

Colt: Yeah, hanging out with a bunch of stuffy old people instead of my girlfriend. Time of my life.

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Gunnar: Wow. You look-

Tour guy: Completely different. We just spent a fortune on merch.

Scarlett: Feel free to call Locks of Love and tell them you need my hair more than a sick child does.

 

Gunnar: So Scarlett cut her hair and turned into a crazy person.

 

Will: Why on earth would you bring your girlfriend on the road in a professional capacity?

Gunnar: Because we need a sound engineer and [Erin] is not my girlfriend. Why is everyone making this such a big deal?

Will: Because YOU are. You come slamming in here like the worst thing in the world just happened to you. Well, guess what? It hasn't. It's not like your boyfriend just jumped off a building or your wife abandoned you and your child or the guy you blew up your whole life for just dumped you.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Marcus: Success becomes excess.

 

Rayna: There's a fine line between bravery and stupidity.

 

Scarlett: Will you just chill out? I'm trying to thank you.

 

Avery: It's gonna be fine.

Will: It's gonna be weird!

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Maddie: If we want to get on the radio, maybe we should come up with something that just sound a little more adult.

Daphne: But we're not adults.

 

Will: It's about damn time! [looks at Cadence] Dang. Dang time.

 

Avery: [Wade Cole] didn't make you use the back entrance?

Will: No, right through the front door like a normal person.

 

Will: Emily is a way better influence on Cadence than any of us.

 

Deacon: That guy's ass should have been kicked a long time ago.

 

Deacon: You're going to talk to Markus in the middle of a fight about Markus?

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Jay: How's the missus, Avery? I haven't seen Juliette in forever.

Gunnar: I barely know her and I have no idea where [Avery] lives.

 

Scarlett: I need somebody who says, "I'm not going to go to a formal event with you because I don't do weddings."

 

Rayna: I don't believe in bad luck.

 

Gunnar: What about this [guy]?

Scarlett: He's wearing a wedding band. You are terrible at this.

 

Maddie: For the longest time, all I wanted was for my parents to be together. But now I'm just worried my mom doesn't see who he really is.

Cash: If your mom's kept Deacon around for twenty some odd years, I'm guessing she knows him better than you do.

 

Deacon: You ready to do this, Mrs. Claybourne?

Rayna: That's got a nice ring to it. Of course, darling, you know I would never change my name.

Deacon: I know. I just wanted to hear it one time.

 

Random guy: The crazy thing about it is that so many of the other Hulks return as enemies to Bruce Banner's Hulk.

Scarlett: Oh, really? I didn't know there were more than one Hulk.

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Gunnar: You had a weird look on your face.

Scarlett: It's just my face.

 

Cash: You are allowed to make mistakes in life and you're allowed to have feelings about them.

 

Cash aka Taylor Swift: You know what sucks for guys that date girls like us? We get to write songs about them.

 

Will: Definitely miss the days when all I got thrown at me were panties.

 

Gunnar: I didn't think casual meant not monogamous.

 

Erin: Is it still a booty call when you're monogamous or is there a more elegant term?

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo

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Gunnar: It's a little nervewracking watching Rayna, Bucky, and half a dozen other people listen to every single track on the album. I just hope no one yawns.

Will: No, they're real respectful at those [listening parties].

 

Will: Next time I whine when I should be applauding you, tell me to shut up. Because you have worked your ass off for this and you deserve all the success in the world.

 

Will: You know you're meant to do something if a bottle in the face doesn't stop you.

 

Layla: Hey, Glenn, if you ever see me acting like Juliette again, just kick me or something.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo

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