S04.E05: Trans Girl Meets Girl

[ClareWalks]

13 minutes ago, Impatient said:

OH and I will say it again.  I used to l like Nicole.  Not any more.

It's Noelle.

[kylies-lips]

1 hour ago, Impatient said:

kylies-lips, how did you find Noelle and Jay on Instagram?  Do you know their last names?

When I went to Jazz's page I saw she had posted Noelle, Michaela, Jay and others in photos featuring them together. I'd post links here but I'm not sure if we are allowed to do that on this forum...

[Caracoa1]

I didn't realize that the hormone blockers and estrogen have already rendered Jazz sterile...that is sad.... I don't believe this surgery is going to make her feel better about herself...no matter what they do her DNA is male...I wish her the best...but you can only do so much with mother nature.  As for breaking that dish at the pottery place...that was an act of a spoiled child.....did she have to personally pay for it or did her parents?

[JocelynCavanaugh]

2 hours ago, kylies-lips said:

When I went to Jazz's page I saw she had posted Noelle, Michaela, Jay and others in photos featuring them together. I'd post links here but I'm not sure if we are allowed to do that on this forum...

Probably shouldn’t in an episode thread but maybe in the general media or family threads. 

[janedi]

On 2/3/2018 at 9:22 AM, Impatient said:

What if, after all this time, all this hormone blocking (why does Jazz mispronounce the word hormone, by the way?  She says "hahr-mone", not hormone.  Weird), all of this synthetic estrogen, Jazz realizes she is a straight male?  Interested in straight girls?  Essentially, these scenes get to the very heart of Jeanette's science experiment:  has she created a situation in which Jazz is forced to live a celibate, asexual life?  And now, not even able to masturbate? 

I have long suspected that Jazz isn't attracted to boys, despite all her whining for male attention. Her body language says a lot more than her words. She says that boys don't like her, but we've seen her date a few boys who were interested and she didn't even give them a chance. All the dates she went on with boys were cringe worthy. The first boy Alex was very cute and he tried his hardest to impress Jazz and she basically rolled her eyes the whole time.  The date with the trans boy was a disaster and she seemed disgusted with him. (perhaps she was hoping he would have been more feminine looking since he's biologically female?). The date with Shane from dating in the dark was also awkward and forced. Jazz seemed indifferent to the whole thing, she looked like she didn't want to be there. When I'm on a date with a guy I am very aware of how I look and how I behave. I'm usually nervous and act more feminine than usual. It's just a natural reaction because I want to make a good first impression.  Jazz's body language screamed "I don't give a f*#k" She just seemed like she was trying to get the date over with. Shane was willing to date her again and she made up another excuse for why she didn't want to see him again. None of the relationships with boys went anywhere and I'm pretty its because of Jazz not the boys. Jeanette and shows producers seem to have their hearts set on Jazz ending up with a straight male Prince Charming. So she probably just has to suck it up and go on the dates until she can make an excuse to get rid of the poor guy.

On the other hand when Jazz met Victoria I noticed her body language was totally different. She looked nervous and immediately started fixing her hair. She looked like she actually gave a damn what Victoria thought of her. I'm interested to see how Jazz will act on their date in next week's episode. I could be wrong, but I suspect she will enjoy it much more than the other dates,

Does anyone else think it was odd that Jazz asked her brothers for advice about girls. I don't know anything about lesbians, so maybe someone can give insight here. Do lesbians normally ask MALES for advice about dating other girls??? Very Odd.

Lastly, I wonder if they are pushing the surgery so hard because of Jazz's testosterone Blocker? I remember Jazz saying back in season 2 that the current Blocker would run out when she was 17. Well Jazz is 17 now, So I'm sure the blocker is on its last leg. And it cost $20,000 so its not like getting a new one is a easy.

Personally I hope Jazz doesn't get the surgery and they let the blocker run out so Jazz can experience some natural puberty (that is if the estrogen hasn't completely destroyed her testicles). Jazz has been told going through Puberty would be absolute torture her whole life, but she might find out that it's not that bad and may even start to like her body if she starts experiencing some "adult" feelings and sensations. And if she's attracted to women perhaps she may want to use that body part with them in the future. Most trans women never get the surgery..

Edited February 5, 2018 by janedi

[janedi]

4 hours ago, Impatient said:

kylies-lips, how did you find Noelle and Jay on Instagram?  Do you know their last names?

Just go to Jazz's instagram page, she has noelle at least tagged in several of them.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

**** MOD NOTE ****

 

Jazzers,

Let's back away from terms such as biologic male, male DNA, etc.  As we've said many times before, we are here to talk about a TV show; we are not here to debate the validity of the experience of transgender persons.  Several of you are tap dancing right on the line, seemingly waiting to see who will slide over.  Let's not go there.  Continuation of this will lead to warnings. 

If you are wondering what is and isn't okay, check the master mod note for this forum:  READ ME! or any of the inline Mod notes for the prior episode threads.   Still  confused?  Check with the mods! 

There are so many things to snark about on this show.  Grandma's style choices, Michaela's excessive shininess and love of the limelight, Jazz's abysmal table manners, and the editing that has her gaining and losing and gaining and losing approximately ten pounds in one episode to name a few. Let the snark fly within the guidelines and, as always, let's be careful out there!  Don't make us force you to do jazzhands for hours as penance.   

@17wheatthins and @PrincessPurrsALot

[msrachelj]

ok then, so does anyone know what condition grandma has that caused the hair loss (wigs) and the eye problem? i'm just curious. 

[winsomeone]

Isn't Victoria a trans girl? She is so tall and masculine looking that I thought for sure she was. If Jazz is into girls, then why does she need bottom surgery? If Jazz is into girls as a trans girl, then what does that makes her..a trans gay? I am not trying to be smart, just am wondering?

[ClareWalks]

20 minutes ago, winsomeone said:

Isn't Victoria a trans girl? She is so tall and masculine looking that I thought for sure she was. If Jazz is into girls, then why does she need bottom surgery? If Jazz is into girls as a trans girl, then what does that makes her..a trans gay? I am not trying to be smart, just am wondering?

I don't think Victoria is trans. One's gender identity is not connected to their sexual orientation. Just like there are gay/bi folks who are cisgender, there are gay/bi folks who are transgender. Sometimes the hormones from transition can change sexual orientation, but that isn't the norm.

[winsomeone]

So, you would just say that Jazz is gay? If indeed she really is, that is?

[Maricopa]

33 minutes ago, winsomeone said:

So, you would just say that Jazz is gay? If indeed she really is, that is?

This is a bit of a brain-twister, isn't it? There are TG members of this forum, can you expound a bit on this? Is a TG woman attracted to women lesbian, or is there another way to describe it. Does pre or post-op matter? Not snarking, just genuinely wondering how this looks like from the inside.

Jazz seems to not be sexually attracted to much of anyone. She could either just be maturing still, or she could be asexual. If she *is* asexual, it must be annoying to have everyone trying to force sexuality on her! And asexual is fine -- no one should feel forced to be intimate with another person if they don't feel it.

[gingerella]

41 minutes ago, winsomeone said:

So, you would just say that Jazz is gay? If indeed she really is, that is?

No, she would more likely be considered "queer" by her peers, which covers the sort of situation you describe. Please see our other posts on this topic, I think they're either in this thread or last epi thread. I gave an example that covers this situation. That said, I think Jazz has grabbed on to the pansexual moniker because I think she thinks it makes her somehow more evolved. What she seems to be missing however, is figuring out her sexual orientation and desire. Maybe because she didn't mature naturally, maybe because she's just immature, not all high school kids mature at the same rates.

Re: Grandma losing her hair, people of her generation dont necessarily need to have hair loss to wear a wig, it's something some older folks just do, a generational thing. I dont remember them saying she's lost her hair unless I missed that somewhere.

Edited February 5, 2018 by gingerella

[Maricopa]

On 2/2/2018 at 4:37 PM, Scarlett45 said:

On 2/1/2018 at 9:11 AM, Maricopa said:

Yes, and I found it profoundly bizarre and not at all relative to women in real life.

Really? I was in a production in college and go see productions pretty regularly every couple of years- love it. 

Just wondering- how old are you?

I'm 29, and really have never heard any woman interested in talking about her nether regions. It's a pretty messy situation monthly, too, so I'd rather forget about it for the remaining three weeks. The only time I ever discussed it was when a giggly crew of girls outside my bathroom stall was helping me figure out where to insert the tampon..and we never spoke of it again. Aside from that, one of my first boyfriends thought women peed out their vaginas (someone previously married, a father, and old enough to know better) meaning he thought the urethra and vagina were all the same. 

Also I think there's a lot of confusion about the source of female sexual stimulation. It's the clitoris. Which is near, but not inside, the vagina. All of this makes me hope they show Jazz demonstrating she knows what male and female internal sexual anatomy look like. Uterus, ovaries, testicles, etc. I think we don't realize how little many people know about human bodies!

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Maricopa said:

Aside from that, one of my first boyfriends thought women peed out their vaginas (someone previously married, a father, and old enough to know better) meaning he thought the urethra and vagina were all the same. 

That’s disgraceful but not surprising. Shaking my head. 

 

1 hour ago, Maricopa said:

Also I think there's a lot of confusion about the source of female sexual stimulation. It's the clitoris.

I think that most clitoris bearing persons are aware of this (that the clitoris is the main source of sexual sensation for most women),  but again I think it harks back to the vulva/labia, clitoris/clitoral hood ALL being referred to as the vagina (why I will never understand). 

2 hours ago, Maricopa said:

This is a bit of a brain-twister, isn't it? There are TG members of this forum, can you expound a bit on this? Is a TG woman attracted to women lesbian, or is there another way to describe it. Does pre or post-op matter? Not snarking, just genuinely wondering how this looks like from the inside.

I am friends with a cis woman who is married to a trans-woman- my friend 100% identifies as a lesbian and so does her wife. (They met and married after her wife began transition)

There are those in the lesbian community that push back against this (that trans women in relationships with cis women are not in lesbian relationships); but they identify as lesbians. 

Edited February 5, 2018 by Scarlett45

[Maricopa]

40 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

2 hours ago, Maricopa said:

Aside from that, one of my first boyfriends thought women peed out their vaginas (someone previously married, a father, and old enough to know better) meaning he thought the urethra and vagina were all the same. 

That’s disgraceful but not surprising. Shaking my head. 

This is truly a good argument for sex ed classes...or at least something to be covered in middle-school biology. I mean, if you just see a diagram of the area it should be pretty clear, which is how I figured out where the tampon should be. And again, I'd like to see a tutoring session with Jazz to make sure she's got this all clear where everything comes and goes. Not that she's going to be keeping Kimberly Clark in bidness or anything.

[princelina]

3 hours ago, Maricopa said:

Jazz seems to not be sexually attracted to much of anyone. She could either just be maturing still, or she could be asexual. If she *is* asexual, it must be annoying to have everyone trying to force sexuality on her! And asexual is fine -- no one should feel forced to be intimate with another person if they don't feel it.

In addition to the fact that Jazz doesn't seem interested in dating, for whatever reason - every date she goes on has to be filmed!  I know when I was in high school going on "first dates" I felt awkward and on display to everyone - and that was without a camera crew following me around to document our every word and move!

[calpurnia99]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

 

I am friends with a cis woman who is married to a trans-woman- my friend 100% identifies as a lesbian and so does her wife. (They met and married after her wife began transition)

There are those in the lesbian community that push back against this (that trans women in relationships with cis women are not in lesbian relationships); but they identify as lesbians. 

 

I am also friends with a cis woman who is married to a trans-woman, but since she used to be married to a man, she identifies as Bi-Sexual.  Now she is in a lesbian relationship, but previously she was in straight relationships so she considers herself Bi. She is also an advocate and spokesperson in the Bi community.

Edited February 5, 2018 by calpurnia99

[kicotan]

2 hours ago, Maricopa said:

This is truly a good argument for sex ed classes...or at least something to be covered in middle-school biology. I mean, if you just see a diagram of the area it should be pretty clear, which is how I figured out where the tampon should be. And again, I'd like to see a tutoring session with Jazz to make sure she's got this all clear where everything comes and goes. Not that she's going to be keeping Kimberly Clark in bidness or anything.

I agree with you that basic human anatomy/biology shouldn't be withheld from young people because of puritanical views.  I remember back in grammar school one day all the girls had to go to the auditorium (I have no idea what the boys did during that time, but I bet they wondered why they couldn't attend).  They showed us a movie about female anatomy/menstruation and then asked if there was any questions.  Gosh, I feel so old!

I have an ex, who obviously was uneducated in that he was convinced that if he saw evidence of any discharge in my panties (that he retrieved out of the pre-washed laundry basket and inspected) it was PROOF that I was cheating because it had to be semen.  I laughed him off at first, tried to educate him that vaginas sometimes leave traces of their existence that have nothing to do with semen, to no avail. He was completely oblivious to the female anatomy/experience and used his willful ignorance to vindicate himself from the abuse he inflicted on me and every other partner he had...because we were all cheating liars.

Edited February 5, 2018 by kicotan
Correcting autocorrect

[Scarlett45]

@kicotan I’m very sorry for the abuse you endured. 

[kicotan]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

@kicotan I’m very sorry for the abuse you endured. 

Thank you.  It was hell on earth.

 I had no idea that folk could be so misinformed/hateful about something that is merely a natural female occurrence.

[kylies-lips]

22 hours ago, janedi said:

On the other hand when Jazz met Victoria I noticed her body language was totally different. She looked nervous and immediately started fixing her hair. She looked like she actually gave a damn what Victoria thought of her. I'm interested to see how Jazz will act on their date in next week's episode. I could be wrong, but I suspect she will enjoy it much more than the other dates,

Does anyone else think it was odd that Jazz asked her brothers for advice about girls. I don't know anything about lesbians, so maybe someone can give insight here. Do lesbians normally ask MALES for advice about dating other girls??? Very Odd.

 

I think Jazz was intimidated by Victoria. She's a bit older, smart, athletic and clearly comfortable with herself. She also had dating experience which Jazz lacked so maybe she felt a bit insecure? I could tell that there was an immediate attraction or at least fascination with Victoria that we haven't seen Jazz exhibit with other people she's tried to date. It could be romantic but it could also be just an admiration for another kick ass female friend. Who knows? 

I did think it was odd that she turned to her brothers for advice on girls but I suppose Jazz doesn't know many other girls her age who openly date girls. At least she isn't friendly enough with them to ask those type of questions! Another reason why its really important for her to make other LGBT friends who are in that space of questioning their sexuality and gender identity. Her brothers were sweet but they are straight males! Their experiences would never align with Jazz's.

[Granny58]

22 hours ago, kicotan said:

I have an ex, who obviously was uneducated in that he was convinced that if he saw evidence of any discharge in my panties (that he retrieved out of the pre-washed laundry basket and inspected) it was PROOF that I was cheating because it had to be semen.  I laughed him off at first, tried to educate him that vaginas sometimes leave traces of their existence that have nothing to do with semen, to no avail. He was completely oblivious to the female anatomy/experience and used his willful ignorance to vindicate himself from the abuse he inflicted on me and every other partner he had...because we were all cheating liars.

WOW.  :-0

[kicotan]

2 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

WOW.  :-0

Indeed.  He was a real piece of work.

In my experience, being a woman unfortunately sometimes isnt as simple as having a pretty vagina/boobs, make-up, foundation garments and long hair.  Sometimes you have to deal with ignorant, angry men.

I sincerely hope that Jazz's family & Jazz put more stock in counseling/therapy and maybe a self-defense class or two In  her transition to adulthood, since she will soon be 18.  85% of domestic abuse victims are women.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, kicotan said:

Indeed.  He was a real piece of work.

In my experience, being a woman unfortunately sometimes isnt as simple as having a pretty vagina/boobs, make-up, foundation garments and long hair.  Sometimes you have to deal with ignorant, angry men.

I sincerely hope that Jazz's family & Jazz put more stock in counseling/therapy and maybe a self-defense class or two In  her transition to adulthood, since she will soon be 18.  85% of domestic abuse victims are women.

And given the rates of violence trans women experience I’m sure her parents are concerned. IMO that’s why they have been very focused on her being able to “pass”. Jeanette can be a twit, but in season 1 when she was talking to Jazz about having to disclose that was the Momma Bear “I’m keeping it real” voice coming through. 

21 hours ago, kylies-lips said:

I did think it was odd that she turned to her brothers for advice on girls but I suppose Jazz doesn't know many other girls her age who openly date girls. At least she isn't friendly enough with them to ask those type of questions! Another reason why its really important for her to make other LGBT friends who are in that space of questioning their sexuality and gender identity. Her brothers were sweet but they are straight males! Their experiences would never align with Jazz's.

I agree, but I think people do that all the time- those are her brothers and she loves them, so she asked them. No different than when sisters/female friends ask each other for guy advice, or a couple in a same sex relationship discusses their problems with a hetero couple. 

Also- TV. 

[CoachWristletJen]

Do we really know that she's 100% stress eating, or could the weight gain be a result of the hormones for a person her age? Her ability to have desire has been seriously circumvented by all of the processes. She's never even had an orgasm. And won't surgery permanently alter her ability to enjoy sexual experience?

I am excited by the new options medicine has afforded transgender people. I'm just concerned that Jazz is too young to make a decision that cannot be reversed. Not ever having masturbated or had an orgasm, Jazz doesn't have all of the data to make a permanent decision. I'm also wondering if the producers are encouraging her having the surgery for ratings.

[Caracoa1]

I really hope Jazz can get to the root of all her issues. The truth is....she will never experience menstruation or childbirth...and if she has never had an orgasm and has no desire for sexual intimacy,then her "vagina" Will be for esthetic purposes only.

[CoachWristletJen]

48 minutes ago, Caracoa1 said:

I really hope Jazz can get to the root of all her issues. The truth is....she will never experience menstruation or childbirth...and if she has never had an orgasm and has no desire for sexual intimacy,then her "vagina" Will be for esthetic purposes only.

Exactly! And it's okay, normal in fact for her to want to look like a woman aesthetically, but she's giving up a lot in terms of losing all of those sexual feelings. And, she doesn't even understand what she is giving up.  

Her parents should understand, however. 

I feel like her mom has given Jazz the reigns to an adult life and adult decisions, but she's still a child. It's like it's great to drive a Mercedes, but not when you're 14.

Also, it's fantastic to embrace your child's sexual/gender identity, but the mom seems to be reveling in it as an attention getting vehicle for herself. Any criticism of that is splashed off as criticism of the transgender community as opposed to criticism of what it really is to me: irresponsible parenting.

Her mom just annoys me in general. Her face annoys me.

[vsd78]

On 2/2/2018 at 4:37 PM, Scarlett45 said:

Really? I was in a production in college and go see productions pretty regularly every couple of years- love it. 

Just wondering- how old are you? I’m 32 and I think women talk about their vaginas/labias/vulvas among each other, especially when discussing their sex life (positive and negative). It’s not water cooler talk by any means, but among sisters, cousins, close friends, Moms and medical professionals absolutely. Not to mention their partner! (If they are partnered).

I guess it all depends on your background and circle of friends. As for The Vagina Monologues, I heard the hype and went to see it many years ago. It had a couple funny moments but all in all I found it cringey and even boring in spots. Most of the rest of the crowd was much more impressed than I was, though. But hey, different tastes and all.

Anyway, I'm 39 and I didn't find it at all representative of my circle. We may discuss our genitals at times, but not as some sort of common conversational topic. With my best friend we occasionally discuss things like cramps and other related annoyances, but it'll be more in passing or related to a specific incident like the time I had to have a biopsy at the gynecologist's and the occasional discussion about waxing or shaving, but that's it. Honestly, we discuss our skin far more.

No in-depth discussions with the partner, either, other than in-the-moment directions, lol. But then, we don't exactly discuss his equipment, either, unless it's also in-the-moment. ;)

 

YMMV.

Getting back to Jazz, hopefully it's just staged for the cameras, but there's too much focus on the quest for the perfect vagina and too little focus on building a future life outside that small little bit of real estate. There's a big ol' "now what?" coming down the pipeline the morning after the surgery.

 

Mostly I feel bad for the kid, having to muddle through all this stuff on camera at an age when life is awkward and confusing enough without being on national TV, and I do think Jazz is having cold feet about the surgery. It's a huge procedure that comes with huge responsibilities and changes, even if having it done eventually is the right decision, that doesn't mean it's the right decision right now, and even if it is the right decision right now, it's still natural to have all sorts of fears and doubts that come out in weird ways. 

[vsd78]

On 2/3/2018 at 6:22 AM, Impatient said:

When Jazz and her Grandma were at the butterfly garden together, her grandmother asks whether the date with Victoria is a sexual date.  And Jazz recoils in horror.  And at first I thought, "well sure, she's embarrassed that her grandmother is talking to her about a potential affair.  She's defining some boundaries."  But then!  She actually says, "do i seem like a sexual being to you?"

 

She is an almost 17 year old teenager.  The very definition of a sexual being.  With absolutely no boundaries, perfectly willing to discuss whom she is attracted to, but unwilling to make a choice.  Unwilling to say, "i am gay."  Or "i am a straight girl.  I am attracted to boys."  Because i think deep down, Jazz thinks she is a fraud and doesn't deserve to be attracted to anyoe.

 

what if, after all this time, all this hormone blocking (why does Jazz mispronounce the word hormone, by the way?  She says "hahr-mone", not hormone.  Weird), all of this synthetic estrogen, Jazz realizes she is a straight male?  Interested in straight girls?  Essentially, these scenes get to the very heart of Jeanette's science experiment:  has she created a situation in which Jazz is forced to live a celibate, asexual life?  And now, not even able to masturbate?  

 

And after so much inappropriate behavior, even being present for doctor's examinations of Jazz's genitalia, Jeanette has the audacity to say, "(discussion of orgasms) is a private thing.  I don't feel comfortable discussing that, Jazz doesn't feel comfortable discussing that...."  I felt like saying, "Eunuch production complete, eh Jeanette?  Now she can be a pretty china doll.  Who never leaves the display case.  Because you are now initiating a plan of shame."  

 

They need to go in to family therapy.  The show should stop.  All of it should just stop.

I think what Jazz really needs is to stop the show, finish high school, and spend a year engaging in the great tradition of spending a year backpacking around wherever doing some soul searching and discovering who she is on her own away from her parents and everyone else.

Just find out what Jazz wants to do when there are no cameras, no public appearances, and no Jeanette around to influence that. 

It's one of my big regrets I never did that (wasted a lot of time at college changing majors etc.) but I have friends and family who did that, or even shorter backpacking trips (my brother went trekking in Nepal and India for 4 months), and it did them a world of good in terms of confidence and direction.

[CarolMK]

One concern I haven't seen brought up yet is , is there a risk of Jazz developing breast cancer later in life as a result of being on estrogen for so long? I'm a breast cancer survivor, one year now, and the doctors couldn't find any reason why I developed it because I had no family history. However, I did take birth control pills for approximately 20-24 years throughout my life. It's recently been discovered that birth control pills do increase the risk of breast cancer, and I imagine the level of estrogen Jazz needs is pretty high to override the underlying testosterone. As for tissue expanders, I'm lucky in that I didn't need a mastectomy, only a lumpectomy as it was caught early, but friends of mine who had them have complained of pain and discomfort and having to go for fills weekly until they were ready for reconstruction surgery. 

All that aside, I do think that the tv show and Jazz having to go public with all of her issues is causing her binge eating disorder and depression. Her parents would be wise to end the tv show. 

[Mollypup]

If I remember correctly, Marci Bowers was very concerned that Jazz had never had an orgasm.  I do think Jazz feels pressured to be in a romantic relationship to have this experience.  Marci Bowers stated that one's ability to climax before surgery predicts being able to climax after surgery.  

[Caracoa1]

I was thinking maybe the thought of having a male orgasm freaks Jazz out....that may be very frightening to her.

[gingerella]

11 hours ago, Caracoa1 said:

I was thinking maybe the thought of having a male orgasm freaks Jazz out....that may be very frightening to her.

She did say - I think it was two seasons ago, when she was coming out of anesthesia from having her hormone replacer procedure - "I have a huge boner" or something like that. Her family was shocked she said it and we all thought it was awful that it was on air, but she did say that. So she's had erections, she knows what that's like. She is just too immature and too confused and without ongoing therapeutic guidance to understand that what Dr. MARCI Bowers is saying is that if she has no sexual function before the surgery, it's likely she'll have little afterward. She has no clue what that really means in the long run, and her parents are to blame for that because its just one of many reasons this kid should have been in weekly therapy sessions all along.

[jnymph]

On 2/3/2018 at 10:27 PM, Granny58 said:

Wow, good memory!  Yes, I grew up in a dating culture, but that doesn't mean that I had a boyfriend every minute of every day.  I had long stretches of time without a boyfriend, but having a boyfriend was the typical...not "goal"...I'm struggling for the word....it was just "normal."  "Oh, she has a boyfriend."..that's normal, and not having one seemed like being in a holding pattern until you had one.  However, back then dates didn't' mean sex.  Dates were movies and bowling and parties and dances.  So it wasn't a big deal either way.  When I read your description above of how judgmental people were to you/your generation I was really dismayed.  There was no need to be either a slut versus a lesbian.  You had a boyfriend sometimes and sometimes you didn't...and it was all fine.  Ugh, I'm glad I'm the age I am.  

LOL I'm 57 and I completely relate to everything you've said.   I'm glad I'm the age I am as well !