S09.E02: Groomzilla

[Rabbittron]

I just went back to a People magazine article about the wedding and Tony was right over 400 people came to the wedding. 

[Galloway Cave]

14 minutes ago, MrsPatrickBateman said:

However then I also think if they had modeled healthy relationships to her and she had a healthy relationship with both parents maybe FT wouldn't have been a factor. 

Well, at one point Mykelti DID say she was marrying her father. Both Kody and Tony are obnoxious, egomaniacs, paternalistic, determined to have things their way (whether that actually happens is to be seen), and have no regard for the feelings of the women who love them.

23 minutes ago, Punkadoo said:

I also think Cody HATES FT. If you watch closesly, especially in the cake shop, the wives run interference.

Two little men, competing for top dog over cake. Kody's mocha and FT's tres leches. They both got what they wanted but they were both being such little dicks about it.

ETA: The online People article from last January said an estimated 400 people attended. So, did they NOT send out RSVPs and not know how many people attended their own wedding? Did the venue not do a headcount? I'm calling bullshit; they just want a "party" number out there in the media.

Edited January 15, 2018 by Galloway Cave

[Tabbygirl521]

It’s weird to bring the groom along to look at wedding dresses. It is not weird to share your husband with three other women. 

They control what the girls wear while they are living at home. Their standards include coverage to the wrist. Their daughters wear tank tops. 

My head hurts. Am just starting to watch this episode and I am already going insane. 

Tony is a creep. 

[Rabbittron]

1 minute ago, Galloway Cave said:

Well, at one point Mykelti DID say she was marrying her father. Both Kody and Tony are obnoxious, egomaniacs, paternalistic, determined to have things their way (whether that actually happens is to be seen), and have no regard for the feelings of the women who love them.

Two little men, competing for top dog over cake. Kody's mocha and FT's tres leches. They both got what they wanted but they were both being such little dicks about it.

The way Kodouche was talking about the cake sounded to me about someone having great sex. Just his breathing.

[Sasha888]

I've noticed this before, but it was really noticeable in this episode...Christine is REALLY wrinkled for someone her age. She should avoid close-ups at all costs, IMO.

[MrsPatrickBateman]

Mykelti must really just want to be loved by anyone. I don't understand what she gets out of this relationship, he is so dismissive of her and he feelings and needs. When they got to the food tasting Mykelti went to get a chair and Tony came up and told her he wanted that seat. Or where she says she has begged him to not smash the cake in her face and he is refusing and she's  fine with it. She obviously isn't fine with it, she genuinely doesn't want it but he doesn't care. It's truly sad for her to know she's entering a relationship where she is not an equal and seems to just be an ego boost for Tony. 

As far as their song choice, I wouldn't be shocked to find that's how the wives view marriage. 

[Sasha888]

4 hours ago, cereality said:

Damn the truth comes out as Meri directly says -- they have kids at home, I don't, and I am not going into THEIR homes to raise THEIR kids, that's not happening.

So what happened to the sister wives BS of -- EACH of the kids is MY kid, there's no difference between my kids and the others' kids. Sounds like there is a difference . . .

SOOOO much this! ^ ^ ^ ^

They've said over and over again how having all these moms help raise their kids is a perk of "the lifestyle"...and then, just when I kind of want to be happy that Meri has perhaps found something that will make her happy, she says this! A totally selfish attitude, IMO. It's pretty much "I'm not helping you raise your kids, but please sink family money into a really shaky business idea for me, because, you know, I am poor poor victim Meri." I want to like her, I really do, but I just can't. She keeps coming up with these stupid, selfish things! Arghhh!

[cereality]

3 hours ago, Christi said:

Articles about the wedding say there were over 400 people...I now DESPERATELY need to know if they ran out of food...burp

Christine tweeted out yes - they did run out. Along with the gratuitous compliment to the douchy son in law - they did 4 tacos per person when he said 10 and they should’ve listened to him.

[Gothish520]

2 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

FT was so obnoxious at the dress shop, commenting on the dresses and her hair style.  After the wedding, will she have to get his approval on her clothes, hair and makeup?

UGH. I don't have near the distaste for him that many others do, but I'm sorry, Tony did not need to be there. Not his concern not his business how Mykelti wears her hair, or what kind of dress she picks. That is overstepping your bounds, and it has nothing to do with "bad luck". It has to do with it not being your business how the bride chooses to dress. Did I hear someone say CONTROL FREAK?

[Tabbygirl521]

If they are so scared of being prosecuted in Utah, why are they hauling the whole stinkin’ family there for a wedding? Was there NO PLaCE in Las Vegas that would have suited? 

Tony: Mykelti isn’t Mexican and stop treating her like that is some kind of issue. why is this wedding all about YOUR so-called culture, and I say so-called because I have never met a person of Mexican descent who claimed such tackiness as part of their culture. In other words, I think you are bullshitting about anything you want allegedly being “part of the culture.” 

Also, I am totally on Meri’s side about the B&B. What the hell does that family offer her any more? She has no place or part in raising the kids. Her stupid “husband” wants nothing to do with her aside from occasionally fixing her with his Manson-eyes death stare. What is she supposed to do with herself? She has been treated abominably by this so-called religion and no wonder she was vulnerable to catfishing. I am just sorry it turned out to be a scam. 

[Gothish520]

35 minutes ago, Sasha888 said:

SOOOO much this! ^ ^ ^ ^

They've said over and over again how having all these moms help raise their kids is a perk of "the lifestyle"...and then, just when I kind of want to be happy that Meri has perhaps found something that will make her happy, she says this! A totally selfish attitude, IMO. It's pretty much "I'm not helping you raise your kids, but please sink family money into a really shaky business idea for me, because, you know, I am poor poor victim Meri." I want to like her, I really do, but I just can't. She keeps coming up with these stupid, selfish things! Arghhh!

To be fair to Meri, there was more to her statement about not going over to help with the other children than just "I'm not doing that". I don't think she meant it in that way. She said she didn't want to overstep her bounds, and that they all raised all the kids in the beginning but that it isn't that way anymore. She also said the kids do come over to her house occasionally, but that the other wives don't need her to help take care of them. It doesn't sound like it's a case of say, Christine asking Meri to watch Truely and Meri just turning her down. Meri feels the other families don't need her anymore.

[Gothish520]

4 hours ago, SuzyLee said:

Holy shit, this dance.  I usually find her to be a bit of a sad sack Eeyore type of person, but I’m with Janelle.  There’s no way on God’s green earth I’d participate in that, regardless of whether or not I had a properly-fitting costume (because wow, do they not fit a single one of them).

I would totally get up and do that dance, costume and all. While I admit (as did the wives) that the clothes were ill-fitting, they were still hilariously fabulous and I would've rocked the heck out of that whole shebang. Nothing wrong with having a bit of corny fun every once in a while.

[Desert Rat]

1 hour ago, Punkadoo said:

 

The things that surprised me- Janelle being the one to stick up Mykelti about the cake and then Meri coming in for the tag team. Lord I dislike everything about Toni. I have the sneaky suspicion there is an agreement to let Jenelle, Meri and Robyn do the dirty work in trying to check Toni when he is an unadulterated ass. It keeps peace between Mykelti and Christine and allows things that cannot be ignored to be addressed. Except Robyn probably has ulterior motives and needs to be the favorite HBIC. I wonder if Robyn is thinking she needs a new cookie tossing speech or whatever the heck it was cause Mykelti is sure giving away her purity for an ass. I also think Cody HATES FT. If you watch closesly, especially in the cake shop, the wives run interference. Some of Cody's body language is fairly hostile and rightly so. 

You're right. Kody acts very differently around Caleb, the favorite SIL.  I hate saying this, but FT makes Kody look good.  

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, Cherrio said:

There is nothing about FT that is likable.  I even find it difficult to look at him.

Back when I was a kid we had an expression for guys like FT:

Ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag.

[Desert Rat]

1 hour ago, MrsPatrickBateman said:

Mykelti must really just want to be loved by anyone. I don't understand what she gets out of this relationship, he is so dismissive of her and he feelings and needs. When they got to the food tasting Mykelti went to get a chair and Tony came up and told her he wanted that seat. Or where she says she has begged him to not smash the cake in her face and he is refusing and she's  fine with it. She obviously isn't fine with it, she genuinely doesn't want it but he doesn't care. It's truly sad for her to know she's entering a relationship where she is not an equal and seems to just be an ego boost for Tony. 

As far as their song choice, I wouldn't be shocked to find that's how the wives view marriage. 

This for me was a very sad moment in the show. How awful for Mykelti to be disrespected and dismissed in such a public way by her new husband.  This isn't a situation of a guy being dumb and insensitive. No, Tony has decided to deliberately disregard her right not to have cake smashed in her face on her wedding day. She is bending over backward to accommodate FT's preferences, cake, dress, hairstyle, but FT can't give her this one request. FT, smashing cake in your bride's face after she has repeatedly told you not to, is not just "tacky", it is demeaning, disrepectful, and abusive. I'm a little fearful for Mykelti in this marriage.  

Edited January 15, 2018 by Desert Rat

[Tabbygirl521]

I cannot imagine what she sees in FT. 

[Desert Rat]

44 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I cannot imagine what she sees in FT. 

She married a version of her dad, a lower end model. FT is even more obnoxious than her dad, less athletic, grossly obese and like Kody, has terrible, unflattering haircut. 

[Delete]

Tony talks like he’s got a head full of phlegm. He needs to blow his nose and enunciate better. He’s nasty. In his mind, he thinks he’s edgy, unique, and hilarious. He is very similar  to narcissistic Kody because whatever inner cool guy they think they are...in reality they are loud obnoxious buffoons.

Dollars to tacos, tony will choose polygamy in a few years and Mykelti will be stupid enough to go along with it. 

Meri always gets what Meri wants. She got the wet bar, and now she’s convinced them all that the key to happiness is to go into further debt and buy a big Victorian house in Utah. I mean if it’s that important to the family why doesn’t Meri’s Mom and siblings invest in it too?  No, because greedy Meri wants it for herself. 

Also, when they flashed a picture of Meri a few years ago, I had forgotten how normal she use to look. Back in the day when she wasn’t orange with sharpie eyebrows.

[CofCinci]

I ? FT. I hope Kody gets his planet and FT is on it for eternity.

Mykelti could do so much better but she’s in the bottom barrel kid batch and doesn’t realize it. She grew up without her father’s attention and love. 

[mscav]

Quote

It’s weird to bring the groom along to look at wedding dresses. It is not weird to share your husband with three other women. 

I think I know why this was ok with Mykelti. Remember back in season 1 when Robyn brought the other wives wedding dress shopping with her then revealed her and Kody had already picked out the dress.  Kody made a point to emphasize HE picked out the dress.  Christine had a fit and stormed off stage. Kody then relegated Christine to worthless wife status for years. Meanwhile Robyn got a 10 day honeymoon to California and favorite wife status. This is Mykelti's model. FT acts just like Kody and Mykelti doesn't want to be treated like her mom so she has adapted the backbone of a jellyfish. I love how not a single wife  brought up that Kody picked out Robyn's dress too. These kids need therapy to deal with their screwed up family. Especially Christine's kids.

Edited January 15, 2018 by mscav

[bichonblitz]

Janelle's upset over Tony over riding Mykelti's cake desires was very telling. For a moment Janelle let her real feelings be known about what she is seeing with Tony's behavior which is that he is overbearing with Mykelti and it is a problem and it pissed Janelle off. Then when she realized the other wives weren't on board with what she was saying, she recanted. That was sad. Why are they so afraid of Tony and why is Christine falling all over herself trying to make that fat buffon happy? 

Also, his repeated "It's a white people thing" is getting on my nerves. Does he think he's above everyone else because he's from a different culture and the Brown's are low life because they are common "white people" that don't understand what street taco's are? I can't stand his pompous ass. Yeah, I know, the Browns really are low life but it's not because they are white, Tony!   

[greekmom]

3 hours ago, Ravenna said:

Also, when they flashed a picture of Meri a few years ago, I had forgotten how normal she use to look. Back in the day when she wasn’t orange with sharpie eyebrows.

I went back and checked some Season 1 photos and they all looked more happy and normal before Sobyn.  Really the douchbag should have stuck to the original 3.

What's happened to the kids??  None of the kids are interviewed anymore except for Mykelti, Meriah and Madison.  Truley and Solomon were on for 10 seconds.  But the other kids? Sobyn's before Koduche kids?

[ghoulina]

I really don't care about Maddie's big pregnancy reveal. She had that baby 8 months ago! 

 

You know, when Meri first brought up the B&B idea, I was kind of on her side. I thought it would be good for her to have something to do; and I'm very sentimental, so I related to bringing the house back into the family. But after listening to the other women complain about how Meri needs to be more involved, I'm now against the whole idea. 

Meri wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants the financial support of the family, but doesn't want to be a PART of the family. She's showing up late, leaving early, on her phone the entire time. I'm sorry, that's not what you signed up for. I can sympathize with her to a degree. It's not her fault she only had one child. But she CHOSE to isolate herself and play martyr all those years, instead of forming stronger bonds within the family. It's no one else's fault she only had one kid either. And aren't they ALL her kids? She should do more with them. Have them over for baking projects and homework help. Host family dinners. She needs to put herself out there. 

I agree that she needs to find happiness outside of the relationships in her marriage - but using a house to find happiness is just relying on something else external. She has to find happiness within herself, period. And if she's truly all about "making me happy", then leave. Sell your house to Kody, take your money, and go do the B&B by yourself. But you can't really have it both ways. You wanted this life, you believe it makes you all better. 

 

Groomzilla is right. Tony is just awful. I'm not the most traditional person on the planet, but a dude going wedding dress shopping? Get the hell out of here. And their reasoning behind it - Tony needs to like the dress, because if he doesn't, he'll tell her. First of all, what groom hasn't liked his bride's dress??? I've never heard of a man who saw his wife walking down the aisle and thought, "Ugh, that's hideous". Second, why would you say anything??? Tony is one of those people that prides himself on being honest, but honesty isn't called for in every situation. He thinks because he's laughing and playful all the time, it's not as offensive. But I find him really rude and controlling. 

I was with Jenelle, wanting to speak up for Mykelti and let her have a voice. It's like he's planning the entire thing. I wonder if SHE went and picked out his tux??? I mean, he has terrible taste. He knows nothing. Robyn was right about putting the hair up. Mykelti looks lovely with an updo, and she won't be all sweaty and uncomfortable. But no, Lord Tony spoke, so hair down it must be. 

Also, what does he have against English ladies??? Every insult he threw out there was like, "looks like an English lady from the 50s" or "That's so old English lady". He's a freak. 

Cake buffet? Smashing giant chess pieces in each other's faces? At this point, I feel like they're just picking random stuff out of a hat to prove how "original" and "unique" they are. But none of it goes together and it's just going to look so stupid. 

And why did they need to have so many people at their taco tasting? I smell some grifters looking for a free lunch. 

 

WHY, WHY, WHY do the moms have to put on another performance??? I just can't with these people. I did give them credit for actually putting on those unflattering outfits and being able to laugh at their body flaws, but....no one wants to see that!!! And, Jenelle, quit acting like you were wearing the most immoral jumpsuit ever. I couldn't see a single bit of cleavage. You don't need an undershirt!

[Kohola3]

Quote

The online People article from last January said an estimated 400 people attended. So, did they NOT send out RSVPs and not know how many people attended their own wedding? Did the venue not do a headcount? I'm calling bullshit; they just want a "party" number out there in the media.

I doubt they even sent a reporter much less one that can count to 400. The venue probably threw up their hands at this circus and hid somewhere during the gross proceedings.  I agree, it's a BS number provided by the family. 

[ghoulina]

10 hours ago, Chicklet said:

Ok I can't help it. How is that song appropriate for a wedding shower? Anyone?

LOL, why did I not even think about that??? You're so right. Another passive aggressive message from Christine?

 

10 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

I'm all for Christine going out of her comfort zone and singing a song for Mykelti. But that teacher is doing her no favors by letting her sing in a key that is WAY too high for her.

YES. WAY too high. And she was very flat as well. I can't sing for shit, but I come from a family of singers, so I know bad when I hear it. And that was bad. 

 

10 hours ago, WhatsUpDummy said:

Thank you Janelle for being the voice of reason! Chips and dip, 3 full size tacos, and a bunch of desserts is PLENTY! Tony, of course, is only concerned with stuffing his fat face. Janelle was spot on. You’re still hungry after all that? Hit up McDonalds on the way home. 

Right? It's a wedding, not Thanksgiving dinner. You don't come to stuff yourself. 

[RedheadZombie]

6 hours ago, Gothish520 said:

I would totally get up and do that dance, costume and all. While I admit (as did the wives) that the clothes were ill-fitting, they were still hilariously fabulous and I would've rocked the heck out of that whole shebang. Nothing wrong with having a bit of corny fun every once in a while.

It's the kind of thing I wish I could do.  I think it's hilarious, and while their kids roll their eyes and laugh at them, they also seem to get a kick out of it and join in.  

I can be hard on Janelle, but doing something this difficult for Mykelti is a very sweet gesture.  She defended Mykelti over and over this episode, and it would be easy for her to sit back and just thank God that other than camouflage, Maddie runs the show in her marriage.

[Chicklet]

6 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

LOL, why did I not even think about that??? You're so right. Another passive aggressive message from Christine?

 

YES. WAY too high. And she was very flat as well. I can't sing for shit, but I come from a family of singers, so I know bad when I hear it. And that was bad. 

 

Right? It's a wedding, not Thanksgiving dinner. You don't come to stuff yourself. 

Every meal is Thanksgiving if you just glance at FT.

[ghoulina]

5 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

I cannot imagine what she sees in FT. 

He was the first guy to pay attention to her, I imagine. We've seen that Kody didn't pay as much attention to his girls growing up; other than Mariah, he tended to favor the boys. And, we also know from Christine's gym mat discussion, that HER kids were especially overlooked (she only had one son). So I think with Mykelti it's probably a combination of missing out on a father much of the time and also just having that sort of insecure personality. She absolutely sought out the love of Kody via Tony; they're so much alike. And I think she was just jumping at the chance to lock someone down, AND get some attention from her family. 

 

41 minutes ago, greekmom said:

went back and checked some Season 1 photos and they all looked more happy and normal before Sobyn.  Really the douchbag should have stuck to the original 3.

I agree. It wasn't just adding a fourth, but waiting SO long to do it. Meri, Jenelle, and Christine were all added within years of each other. Boom, boom, boom. They had their oldest 3 kids all around the same time. Then they were like that for YEARS. Bringing Robyn in, what? Fifteeen years later? Horrible idea. It totally fucked up the dynamic and left a lot of confused, hurt feelings in the wake. I also think that multi-function house was the best thing that ever happened to them, as a family. They were together so much more often. Robyn's addition would have necessitated a separation, even without the moves. She's NEVER lived with them in that way. 

[Kohola3]

19 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

So I think with Mykelti it's probably a combination of missing out on a father much of the time and also just having that sort of insecure personality. She absolutely sought out the love of Kody via Tony; they're so much alike. And I think she was just jumping at the chance to lock someone down, AND get some attention from her family. 

Good analysis.  Too bad FT was the first one who showed up.  What a loser.

[Chicklet]

Plural marriage set the daughters up for relationship failures unless they somehow come out of their family with some self-respect, are self-motivated, and clearly see what a losing proposition plural marriage is for woman. I can see Mykelti either accepting sister wives or getting a divorce in the next 10 years. Or then there's her just being miserable in her marriage and staying because that's been her model. Really sad for those girls.

[Kellyee]

Quote

Mykelti could do so much better but she’s in the bottom barrel kid batch and doesn’t realize it. She grew up without her father’s attention and love. 

Mykelti is Christine, who also could have done much better for herself and doesn't realize it. And Tony is Kody. Its all really rather sad. I think Mykelti was also jealous of Madison, who seems to be a favored child among all the parents because she married someone they already knew and liked. In reality, both Madison and Mykelti are college dropouts with no job skills getting married young and likely depending on reality television to keep their finances healthy.

Janelle seems incredibly checked out of the entire situation, almost like she's in a coma when she has to be with the other wives.

[bichonblitz]

In Meri's talking head she said Christine never comes to her house and she never goes to Christine's. We already know Meri and Janelle don't get along and Robyn has become besties with Christine. We also know she and Kody are just tolerating each other and Mariah, her only child, can barely stand being in the same room with her.  The result of all that is a very lonely existence for Meri, whether she brought most of that on herself or not.  I would run for Utah as well! 

53 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I wonder if SHE went and picked out his tux???

What TUX? Tony wore dirty jeans and a jacket that didn't fit. But that was ok with Mykelti because Tony is so edgy . That and she wouldn't dare contradict him. So Tony was right about needing 10 taco's per person? Praise Lord Tony, he is such a genius!
 

Edited January 15, 2018 by bichonblitz

[Chicklet]

What was unsaid was that no formalwear shop had a tux anywhere near the size FT needed. So therefore the need for the dirty jeans and jacket. Tre' edgy by necessity.

Ok I almost feel bad about fat-shaming him but dear dog does the boy not own a mirror? Does he not watch the show and realize his issue? And then there's the fact that men lose weight faster and easier than women (grumble).

Edited January 15, 2018 by Chicklet

[jacksgirl]

I think FT is mixing dubious up with odious which is what he is.

[AZChristian]

My thoughts (in no particular order):

• The country club is 3.4 miles from the nearest Burger King.  I agree with Janelle.  Go buy yourself a Whopper if you're still hungry after 3-4 tacos.
• The country club is "members only."  Who belongs to the CC so they could have their wedding there?  Their standards are obviously low.
• I suspect that after Kody sees that Tony made fun of his hair, FT will NEVER "go there" again on camera.
• @ghoulina:  Janelle WAS wearing a shirt under the "costume."  And I don't blame her.  There would have been major boobage showing otherwise.
• Smashing cake into the face of your new bride/groom as one of your first moments together is NEVER funny.  JMO.
• I don't think this "marriage" is going to last.  

[Granny58]

11 hours ago, mscav said:

I'm sure the main reason the wives are cool with letting Meri have this is so they don't have to deal with her at the cult de sac.

I thought it was amusing (and alarming) how they were all afraid she was plotting an escape.  

[Sandy W]

9 hours ago, MrsPatrickBateman said:

This. This is all I could see. I would not be surprised if they had an affair.

Much as I dislike Robyn, I don't think lust is what predicates her flirting with Tony.  Robyn wants to be idolized by every member of the family as the great Goddess She-Ra.  She feels her tawdry flirting with Tony is a means to establish rapport with him.

[RedheadZombie]

9 hours ago, camom said:

The thing FT likes the most about Mykelti is her selflessness?  In other words, he's a control freak.  

I think Mariah looks a lot like Meri's sister Elaine.

Yes!  Spare me that type of "worship".

Is Elaine the tall sister?  I did a double take because I thought it was Mariah at first.

[ghoulina]

42 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

What TUX? Tony wore dirty jeans and a jacket that didn't fit. But that was ok with Mykelti because Tony is so edgy . That and she wouldn't dare contradict him. So Tony was right about needing 10 taco's per person? Praise Lord Tony, he is such a genius!

You're right! I forgot about that atrocity. But yea, I'm sure he didn't even consult her on HIS outfit of choice. 

 

13 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

ghoulina:  Janelle WAS wearing a shirt under the "costume."  And I don't blame her.  There would have been major boobage showing otherwise.

No, she wasn't. She was saying she was going to NEED to put a shirt underneath, for the actual performance. I saw no cleavage, so I wasn't sure why. 

[AZChristian]

4 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

You're right! I forgot about that atrocity. But yea, I'm sure he didn't even consult her on HIS outfit of choice. 

 

No, she wasn't. She was saying she was going to NEED to put a shirt underneath, for the actual performance. I saw no cleavage, so I wasn't sure why. 

They're repeating it on Thursday.  I'll DVR it; now I'm curious!

ETA:  Mr. AZC agrees with you.

Edited January 15, 2018 by AZChristian

[laurakaye]

12 hours ago, peaceknit said:

FT (I like it) shoves Mykelti and says I'm sitting here *rolls eyes* 

Wait, what??  Imma need more details.

 

2 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Also, his repeated "It's a white people thing" is getting on my nerves. Does he think he's above everyone else because he's from a different culture and the Brown's are low life because they are common "white people" that don't understand what street taco's are? I can't stand his pompous ass. Yeah, I know, the Browns really are low life but it's not because they are white, Tony!   

LOLOZ - all you have to do in this paragraph is flip "FT" for "Kody" and flip "white people" for "polygamists" and there you have it.  FT = Kody.  Not only that, but FT is out-Kodying Kody himself.  He's even got the dirty clothes and stupid hair thing down to a science.

That said, @LilWharveyGal, I believe, took one for the team last episode and created an amazing recap for those of us (ME) who can't watch.  And while I do understand the sacrifice of both time and brain cells that it takes to describe this circus-freak trainwreck, I am going to need someone to crank up the snark machine and give me my 4000 tacos recap!

Edited January 15, 2018 by laurakaye

[RedheadZombie]

3 hours ago, CofCinci said:

I ? FT. I hope Kody gets his planet and FT is on it for eternity.

Mykelti could do so much better but she’s in the bottom barrel kid batch and doesn’t realize it. She grew up without her father’s attention and love. 

Oh I think Christine's children are fully aware they are Kody's least favorites.  Paedon was probably luckier because he was usually at Janelle's house, and inadvertently received attention while with his athletic brothers.

[zenme]

I cannot stand Tony!! I wish FT would quit ascribing his wishes and desires to his being Mexican. As a Mexican-American, I'm offended by FT. Between the Trump comments about Mexicans, and now Tony, we just don't need this...

I do believe Mykelti is right when she says she married her father. Tony is a total attention-seeking famewhore. He's selfish and entitled and he thinks he's the funniest, most clever guy in the room.  If my daughter ever brought some guy like that home, I'd join the Peace Corp. and move away, so that I'd conveniently have to be away at holidays, and not have to see my daughter with him. 

[AZChristian]

1 minute ago, zenme said:

If my daughter ever brought some guy like that home, I'd join the Peace Corp. and move away, so that I'd conveniently have to be away at holidays, and not have to see my daughter with him. 

Better yet, sign your daughter up for the Peace Corps to get her away from him.

[Roslyn]

The most telling moment of FT and Mykelti's relationship played out when he told her that his favorite thing about her was her "selflessness".  He went onto say about how she has such a huge personality...blah blah.  However.  Let's translate that. ""Mykelti, you have a huge, over the top personality, you are as equally obnoxious and opinionated as I am.  But all of that comes to a crashing halt as soon as I say MY opinion.  In an instant your opinion changes and becomes MY opinion.  Because that is all that counts, and all that will ever count.""

Right in front of our eyes that poor girl is being groomed. If this were one of those women surviving abusive relationship movies this would be the beginning when all the red flags were so obvious, yet all of them were expertly skirted around "oh...I just want what is best for you because I love you so very much"

Mykelti is the younger daughter of the least favorite wife.  Aspyn was the mother figure who kept the whole household together because Christine couldn't do it.  Like other younger daughters she is craving the male attention that she never had and she has found much much worse in her chosen partner.  Christine nailed it when their relationship was revealed to her when she first noted that "Mykelti is different around Tony" and she didn't like the change.  

Instead of planning a wedding, they should have planned an intervention.  I suspect that Christine is very sorry that she didn't let Mykelti move back home after she dropped out of university because you know.  College is hard.

[RedheadZombie]

1 hour ago, Chicklet said:

Plural marriage set the daughters up for relationship failures unless they somehow come out of their family with some self-respect, are self-motivated, and clearly see what a losing proposition plural marriage is for woman. I can see Mykelti either accepting sister wives or getting a divorce in the next 10 years. Or then there's her just being miserable in her marriage and staying because that's been her model. Really sad for those girls.

Where in the world could Tony land a second wife?  I wish the Brown parents would stop indulging this fool.

35 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

My thoughts (in no particular order):

• The country club is 3.4 miles from the nearest Burger King.  I agree with Janelle.  Go buy yourself a Whopper if you're still hungry after 3-4 tacos.
• The country club is "members only."  Who belongs to the CC so they could have their wedding there?  Their standards are obviously low.
• I suspect that after Kody sees that Tony made fun of his hair, FT will NEVER "go there" again on camera.
• @ghoulina:  Janelle WAS wearing a shirt under the "costume."  And I don't blame her.  There would have been major boobage showing otherwise.
• Smashing cake into the face of your new bride/groom as one of your first moments together is NEVER funny.  JMO.
• I don't think this "marriage" is going to last.  

I think the "members only" was waived for the publicity of the show.

I despise the cake smashing, especially when the bride is unwilling.  I would not simper and laugh if this happened to me, and I'm sure wedding photos would capture me scowling with a threatening look on my face.  Even the basest moron must realize the amount of time and effort that goes into a woman's hair/makeup on their wedding day, and while he just laughs and wipes his face off with a napkin, the bride is left looking like she rolled out of the gutter for the rest of the night - with pictures to memorialize it.

[Chicklet]

I'm sure FT could find a woman just as damaged as his first wife somewhere. I mean who thought Kody could have found a 4th?

[I-Kare]

8 hours ago, cereality said:

Christine tweeted out yes - they did run out. Along with the gratuitous compliment to the douchy son in law - they did 4 tacos per person when he said 10 and they should’ve listened to him.

But did does "they ran out" mean some folks didn't get any food even though everyone took 3 or 4 ? Or does it mean some folks didn't get to gorge themselves on 10 tacos? Or does it mean the first two hundred people took 20 and then the rest didn't get any? Because those are different scenarios. 

And basically my view is that Mykelti and Tony are a perfect couple. Both are insufferable asses. 

[RedheadZombie]

Is no one watching Seeking Sister Wives (SSW)?  Episode one, and wives number one and two are drawing battle lines.  It was super snark worthy, and I will definitely stick with it.

3 minutes ago, Chicklet said:

I'm sure FT could find a woman just as damaged as his first wife somewhere. I mean who thought Kody could have found a 4th?

Kody is a dreamboat when compared to Tony, IMO.  I would be amazed if Tony could convince another woman he's not a reeking pile of refuse.  But having just watched a whispering effeminate man with three very attractive wives on SSW, I guess nothing would shock me.  I'd take the whisperer and his hostile wives before Tony.

[Christina]

23 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

I thought it was amusing (and alarming) how they were all afraid she was plotting an escape.  

None of them want another wife to do better than them. If Meri's B&B became a hot destination, the others would try and find a way to sabotage her progress before trying to improve their own lives. Their jealousy is suffocating to watch; I can't imagine living in it. Well, I guess they really don't "live" in it, since they pretend the others don't exist and their marriages are monogamous until the cameras show up. 

Fortunately for me, they all turned out to be crappy people who are hateful and disrespectful to everyone, so I don't have to waste any energy sympathizing for them. Even though all but Janelle and Kody were raised that way, their ignorance has crossed from sad to downright assholish. They sold out for a few bucks so they didn't have to work like the rest of us non-polygamist suckers, and showcased their hypocrisy. The first few seasons, I could hate watch and point and laugh at them, but the show just became too boring and TLC decided to make each episode two hours. WAAAAYY too much of the Browns. This was the first episode I watched since a few of the catfishing ones, and it was literally because I didn't see anything else on. I've since decided to rewatch The Wire so this shouldn't be a recurring problem for a few episodes.

4 minutes ago, RedheadZombie said:

Where in the world could Tony land a second wife?  

If the cameras are still following them, it won't be hard. It will probably be a wife just like Tony will be a husband, so he'll deserve her. Unfortunately, I'm sure that if she has anything over Mykelti, like being thinner or having more social media followers, both Tony and the new wife will lord it over her. He's vile and a wife who is attracted to the cameras, like Robyn, will be every bit as nasty.