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The Snowdens: Ashley, Dmitri, bachelorette #1, bachelorette #2, but definitely no Vanessa


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Please place any particularly disturbing details of the accusations against Dmitri or Ashley behind spoiler tags so that other posters can choose whether they would like to read them. 

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Ashley and Dimitri Snowden are an African-American family who live in Atlanta, Georgia with their two adorable children, ages two and four. To the naked eye, they are a typical family--the only difference is that they are on the hunt for a sister wife. Ashley is on her third and last pregnancy, but she and Dimitri want to continue expanding their family. Although the couple recently experienced the heartache of a plural relationship that went sour, they are ready to start looking again for a compatible and committed woman who wants to have children. The Snowdens do not subscribe to the Mormon faith, but they have a spiritual union and adhere to a moral code. They have purposefully abstained from a legal marriage under the eyes of the law in order to ensure equality with their future wife.

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I'm really unsure what these people are hoping to gain from having a sister wife. They have an au pair and housekeeper already. Three kids are not that difficult to care for. What is their interest in bringing in another woman? Is it just so Dmitri can get some strange? If that's the case there are plenty of other ways to do that besides bringing in another wife to upset the family dynamic.

  • Love 8
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I didn't get the "mormon-ish sister-wife" vibe from these two.

I got the polyamory vibe. I think these two are polyamorous, not polygamous.

They want another SEX partner,  for BOTH of them, not just him. They'd both be sleeping with her. They're just looking for a full time live in sex partner to share the family bed forever and not just for a night.

THESE you see more often than the polygamous ones.

They're not polygamous, they're polyamorous. 

  • Love 16
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7 minutes ago, hnygrl said:

I didn't get the "mormon-ish sister-wife" vibe from these two.

I got the polyamory vibe. I think these two are polyamorous, not polygamous.

They want another SEX partner,  for BOTH of them, not just him. They'd both be sleeping with her. They're just looking for a full time live in sex partner to share the family bed forever and not just for a night.

THESE you see more often than the polygamous ones.

They're not polygamous, they're polyamorous. 

Yeah I get that vibe as well. 

  • Love 5
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4 hours ago, hnygrl said:

I didn't get the "mormon-ish sister-wife" vibe from these two.

I got the polyamory vibe. I think these two are polyamorous, not polygamous.

They want another SEX partner,  for BOTH of them, not just him. They'd both be sleeping with her. They're just looking for a full time live in sex partner to share the family bed forever and not just for a night.

THESE you see more often than the polygamous ones.

They're not polygamous, they're polyamorous. 

I've thought polyamory since the beginning.  They're calling it polygamy to be on this show.  For me it was confirmed by things that the mother and sister said.  If the Snowdens have already tried this lifestyle out, why would her mother and sister remain confused about who has sex with who?  I think the confusion lies in the fact that it's now labelled "plural marriage".

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Ashley complained the last woman they tried this with was only there to have sex with Dimitri and didn't interact that much with her. That IS the definition of polygamy! Separate "marriages" (ignore the loving sister wives crap the Browns put out there). So yeah, polyamory rather than polygamy.

What bothers me the most is trying on other women, then they leave. That has to be confusing for those small children. The Snowdens need to take more care in making their life choices when they have young children in the house. If they have a new wife and more children are brought into the family, it will be even harder for the kids to be separated if a wife leaves. Even if the kids don't feel like another sister wife is a "mom", the kids all do feel like siblings.

  • Love 6
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I know a few polyamorists out on the west coast. They tend to have one primary partner they may or may not cohabit with (a couple bond) but both are open to dating others. They don't tend to have threesomes or to date the same person--things are complicated enough already. The Snowden's situation would be very atypical among these folks; I daresay most of them would consider it unbalanced and not something desirable to them.

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After finally watching the episodes I have to say I really did not care for this family. Without the religious component, it's just this patriarchal relationship where husband gets to have a bunch of sex partners and brood mares. If it's not religious, can wifey snag a husband or two? They try to be so modern and hip but are really living in the dark ages. I do agree that it seems she might be into the sex with the new wife too--but not sure. If so-maybe they should just address that. This whole thing just seems off. 

  • Love 15
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2 hours ago, MoodyGirl said:

After finally watching the episodes I have to say I really did not care for this family. Without the religious component, it's just this patriarchal relationship where husband gets to have a bunch of sex partners and brood mares. If it's not religious, can wifey snag a husband or two? They try to be so modern and hip but are really living in the dark ages. I do agree that it seems she might be into the sex with the new wife too--but not sure. If so-maybe they should just address that. This whole thing just seems off. 

I agree, something is off here. They are not telling the whole story. I can't figure it out. I don't get the regular Brown-style polygamy from these folks. Are they really looking for a three-some that makes babies for the family?  Are they looking for a bi-sexual lover to share?  Is wife going along with polygamy in order to keep her horn-dog husband in the marriage?  

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21 hours ago, Desert Rat said:

I agree, something is off here. They are not telling the whole story. I can't figure it out. I don't get the regular Brown-style polygamy from these folks. Are they really looking for a three-some that makes babies for the family?  Are they looking for a bi-sexual lover to share?  Is wife going along with polygamy in order to keep her horn-dog husband in the marriage?  

My guess mostly 1 and 2. 

 

If the husband just wanted sexual variety he would cheat, like men (and women) have done. They want a consistent compatible sex partner for the BOTH of them. I also don’t know why they won’t just say that. 

Edited by Scarlett45
  • Love 6
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In the first episode Ashely said that Dimitri wants more kids and she absolutely does not want anymore after this baby is born.  I think Dimitri has some type of pregnancy fetish and just wants to make babies. 

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On 1/15/2018 at 10:17 AM, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Since people were wondering why the Snowdens don't just hire a nanny, here is his reply on Twitter: 

Well that's interesting because last night the wife was folding clothes and said she was slowing down because of this pregnancy and was looking forward to having some sisterly help around the house.

  • Love 13
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20 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Well that's interesting because last night the wife was folding clothes and said she was slowing down because of this pregnancy and was looking forward to having some sisterly help around the house.

That's kind of what I was thinking, too...

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3 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

It's all for teevee... slow down with what then? Too many naps?  Wtf does she do all day?  Or is that why she wants a 'friend' - she's bored & wants someone to 'play' with all day.

Then join a mom group at the public library or your local community centre.  

It's either a) because she wants to keep Dimitri happy or b) she's into polymory and not polygamy. 

  • Love 9
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3 hours ago, greekmom said:

Then join a mom group at the public library or your local community centre.  

It's either a) because she wants to keep Dimitri happy or b) she's into polymory and not polygamy. 

Or c.) Dimitri lied when he boasted about all of the "servants" they hire, and the wife is really looking for a Cinderella to help out in house and bed.  

  • Love 8
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Yeah, I don't get the polyamory vibe anymore after last night's episode.  I only get the vibe that Dimitri wants another woman and Ashley is going along.  Nor does it seem like Jocelyn is into polyamory either.  She just wants a husband. 

  • Love 9
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I believe you can tell more from body language and facial expressions than from spoken words in most cases. Based on that, I don't see Ashley being all in on bringing in this new girl. There is no interest or excitement in her eyes or face at all and during the lunch with her, she looked positively pissed as soon as she saw how beautiful the girl was. On the flip side had we gotten a shot of Dmitri's crotch, I'm pretty sure there wood have been wood as she walked toward them. I'm betting what happened with the first woman was that Dmitri and her were all into each other and Ashley was out in the cold, she intimated as much. I'm horrified that in this day and age an educated woman like Ashley has deluded herself that she's being culturally relevant by adhering to some sort of tribal living arrangement when it is obvious her heart is not in this at all.

  • Love 22
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1 hour ago, grammaester said:

I believe you can tell more from body language and facial expressions than from spoken words in most cases. Based on that, I don't see Ashley being all in on bringing in this new girl. There is no interest or excitement in her eyes or face at all and during the lunch with her, she looked positively pissed as soon as she saw how beautiful the girl was. On the flip side had we gotten a shot of Dmitri's crotch, I'm pretty sure there wood have been wood as she walked toward them. I'm betting what happened with the first woman was that Dmitri and her were all into each other and Ashley was out in the cold, she intimated as much. I'm horrified that in this day and age an educated woman like Ashley has deluded herself that she's being culturally relevant by adhering to some sort of tribal living arrangement when it is obvious her heart is not in this at all.

I wonder if Dmitri will be out with tall and sexy while Ashley is giving birth to their baby.  (Said tongue-in-cheek, thinking about Kody and Robyn).

  • Love 12
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I was watching Ashley as well & she holds her head up a little too high & smiles just a little too much & too big. I feel she's very fake & hiding her true feelings.

I just hope she's not being intimidated into this somehow.

Edited by gonecrackers
  • Love 11
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6 hours ago, grammaester said:

I believe you can tell more from body language and facial expressions than from spoken words in most cases. Based on that, I don't see Ashley being all in on bringing in this new girl. There is no interest or excitement in her eyes or face at all and during the lunch with her, she looked positively pissed as soon as she saw how beautiful the girl was. On the flip side had we gotten a shot of Dmitri's crotch, I'm pretty sure there wood have been wood as she walked toward them. I'm betting what happened with the first woman was that Dmitri and her were all into each other and Ashley was out in the cold, she intimated as much. I'm horrified that in this day and age an educated woman like Ashley has deluded herself that she's being culturally relevant by adhering to some sort of tribal living arrangement when it is obvious her heart is not in this at all.

And do it on national TV, no less!

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News:

https://www.theindychannel.com/news/charter-school-co-founder-faces-new-allegations

Dimitri's side of the story: 

http://www.lemomadeit.com/dimitri-snowden-paramount-school-of-excellence/

Quote

 

The idea:  To create a K-8 charter school with robots, wind turbines, Apple technology and a Common Core spiraling curriculum.

The gem:  The school was launched with everything I built it for!

The lemon:  Someone I entrusted expressed to the board that I defrauded the school out of funds.  The allegation came about whilst I was conveniently out of the country for almost 2 weeks.  When I arrived back in the US, I was on the news, and was told never to step foot back on school property.  I never had the opportunity to defend myself nor was an unbiased investigation rendered.

The result:  Of course, it was established (via arbitration) that no such “fraud” occurred and I further left the proceedings net positive.   Even though proof was evident, I was removed from management of the school and essentially “erased” as co-founder.  It’s now rolling up on 2015 and this is one still troubles me: falsely accused, no opportunity to defend myself and a falsely tarnished reputation.  It’s all good – no one can ever take from me the fact that I built something amazing for the babies!

Lesson learned:  Invest in a legal team that will establish a corporate structure to protect founding interests, deeply research the team you build with and create a solid culture.  Be clear on revenue allocations, capital expenditures and always use the best fiduciary management practices.

 

Edited by Rainflower
updating to add Dimitri's side of the story.
  • Love 3
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In the News:

https://www.theindychannel.com/news/charter-school-claims-it-company-cost-them-45-000

 

Dimitri's side of the story:

 http://www.lemomadeit.com/dimitri-snowden-kipp-indianapolis/

Quote

 

The idea:  ion360, my IT firm to provide IT services to KIPP Indianapolis.

The gems: I was awarded a maintenance contract with the school and serviced the school for one year.

The lemon:  KIPP did not to renew its contract with ion360 based on cited budget constraints.  In connection with the smear campaign from March, KIPP Indianapolis decided to invoke a law suit against almost 18 months after we concluded our relationship.  The lawsuit claims ion360 promised “responsive service and rapid resolution” to technology issues and problems, along with 24/7 support, but did not deliver.  Yes, they decided I didn’t deliver 24/7 support, almost 18 months after services amicably concluded…

The result:  The lawsuit was dismissed.  Myself or ion360 were not found guilty of any allegations expressed in the lawsuit.

Lesson learned: You must have tightly constructed contracts and always document everything!  Invoke terms and time limits on post termination clauses.

 

Edited by Rainflower
updated link to article.
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1 hour ago, WaterSpirit said:

I wonder what became of that..it was back in 2011. Very interesting....now has a paycheck from TLC. He's bringing the TV plot at least and getting a side chick same time. (Is she no longer a side chick if wife knows?)

Ashley is not married to Dimitri. So basically he is playing her for the fool:

3 babies, polygamy, and no legal marriage.

Talk about having his cake and eating it too.

  • Love 14
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Ugh to Americans who say "whilst" and ugh to "step foot" in general. (The term is "set foot"; "step foot" is redundant because what else would you step with?) Then he used "myself" as the subject of a sentence. Ugh!!! He's trying to out-kick his coverage on the fancy writing. I'll home school, but thanks anyway, Dimitri!

Edited by JocelynCavanaugh
  • Love 13
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1 hour ago, Rainflower said:

Ashley is not married to Dimitri. So basically he is playing her for the fool:

3 babies, polygamy, and no legal marriage.

Talk about having his cake and eating it too.

OOOOOooo I see potential for huge disaster here!  If this new tall-drink-of-water is manipulative enough, he could legally marry HER at some point.   So weird.  But polygamy is just weird anyway.

  • Love 8
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Oh Dimitri is most definitely a fraud, if not in that case, in his life in general. His website looked downright evil. 

I hope Ashley wises up & has a way out of this. If she's not married AND financially dependent on him, he's got it made- she's really not thinking straight.

  • Love 8
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5 hours ago, Kyanight said:

OOOOOooo I see potential for huge disaster here!  If this new tall-drink-of-water is manipulative enough, he could legally marry HER at some point.   So weird.  But polygamy is just weird anyway.

Some people think that a marriage license is just a piece of paper. Uh-uh...that piece of paper affords you a lot of legal rights and privileges, things that you will either not have or have to try to fight for if things go south without it. Sounds very unromantic, I know, but it's the truth.

Edited by Gothish520
spelling
  • Love 13
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Ashley's newest attempt at combating doubters (and someone posted some interesting IG comments she's made on her personal IG also (in the episode thread from this past week) as to both her buy-in to this whole thing and what she's really looking for.

For whatever this is worth (from just an hour ago...)

  • Love 3
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She can say whatever she wants to make herself sleep better at night.

The third episode got me thinking Ashley is just desperate to hang on to Dimitri. Even educated, empowered women can fall into the trap of love and desire.

My Theory: I wouldn't even be surprise if she had caught him cheating. He probably gave some BS story about how men are designed to spread their seeds around. She fell for that crap explanation and decided to do polygamy as a compromise and to keep his dirty behind around. I also bet that he chose the woman who was into him and not her the first go round. She was probably the one who called it quits on the previous woman banging her husband and he got pissed. Compromise between the two? I have a hunch that she'll do her best to choose the woman (one she can control, intimidate).

Third episode, her man looked like he was ready to jump on the younger woman right there on the table, in front of Ashley, right before dessert was served, and have her pregnant before the night was over.

Ashley, on the other hand, looked like she was ready to cut a bitch 50 shades to Sunday and be ready to deliver her baby right on time. All while wearing that cute wrap of hers. 

Edited by Rainflower
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Ashley wants the man - or would that be "playa?" - and has been willing to do whatever it takes to keep him.  She's fooling no one.  He, on the other hand, wants to have his cake and eat it, too; or is that just stating the all-too-obvious?  Ashley should get out now and find someone who will appreciate her for what she has to offer which I believe is much, much more than Dmitri can offer her. 

Edited by StayingAfterSunday
  • Love 14
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Just now, StayingAfterSunday said:

Ashley wants the man - or would that be "playa" - and is willing to do what it takes to keep him.  She's fooling no one.  He, on the other hand, wants to have his cake and eat it, too; or is that just stating the all-too-obvious?

You summed that up perfectly!!

  • Love 2
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22 minutes ago, Almost 3000 said:

and it needs to be repeated ~ They're not even married!

I am just wondering which LATER sister wife Dimitri is going to actually marry and make his FIRST wife!  And for the record - can ANYONE out there PLEASE tell me why he didn't marry Ashley?

  • Love 5
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24 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I am just wondering which LATER sister wife Dimitri is going to actually marry and make his FIRST wife!  And for the record - can ANYONE out there PLEASE tell me why he didn't marry Ashley?

Ugh, I know, these "progressive" couples who want to play at being married and bring children into the world without actually getting married are annoying AF. They think it makes things easier if one of them wants to bail, but once you have kids, that's it, ya done anyway - might as well put a ring on it and take advantage of the benefits of being legally married.

  • Love 11
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If Dimitri and Ashley want to have a large family, but Ashley doesn't want to have anymore kids, then why not just adopt? Why does Dimitri insist on bringing other women into the relationship and giving the world more of HIS kids? Egotistical assholes like him usually go on to create scary little cults that end badly and get a two-page write-up in People magazine. Hopefully these women pull their heads out of their asses before too much damage is done to themselves and the kids and get away from this jerk.

  • Love 8
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On 1/30/2018 at 7:58 AM, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Ugh to Americans who say "whilst" and ugh to "step foot" in general. (The term is "set foot"; "step foot" is redundant because what else would you step with?) Then he used "myself" as the subject of a sentence. Ugh!!! He's trying to out-kick his coverage on the fancy writing. I'll home school, but thanks anyway, Dimitri!

Hahaha I am American and would sell my soul to live in London, my favorite city on earth. 

  • Love 4
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9 hours ago, Galloway Cave said:

If Dimitri and Ashley want to have a large family, but Ashley doesn't want to have anymore kids, then why not just adopt? Why does Dimitri insist on bringing other women into the relationship and giving the world more of HIS kids? Egotistical assholes like him usually go on to create scary little cults that end badly and get a two-page write-up in People magazine. Hopefully these women pull their heads out of their asses before too much damage is done to themselves and the kids and get away from this jerk.

This man is unattractive and very full of himself. I'm assuming he thinks his sperm is superior to all other sperm out there and therefore he must spread his seed wherever he can. I would like to smack his smug face, personally. He practically had his tongue hanging out looking at Joselyn during the "date" while his very pregnant non-wife was practically ignored. He's gross.

  • Love 12
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