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S08.E14: Oh, The Places You’ll Go


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15 minutes ago, Quilty said:

Leah won't even say Muscular Dystrophy. 

"A rare muscle disease " Like no one has ever heard of MD.

Her addiction to the pillses isn't the only thing she's in denial about.

I'm willing to bet she can't say it properly either. 

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Why is it a "thing" now to scream like banshees during graduation ceremonies? Can hooting and hollering be saved for the very end? I'd need ear plugs to attend something like that, especially in that venue.

Briana is a a dimwitted idiot, but Roxanne is just over the top. Take it down a notch and let your fuckup of a daughter figure out what her baby daddy needs to do.

Jenelle - she only said out of the box four times, but that was barely a 2 min segment. Could she have any deader eyes during her dress shopping?

Leah - I can't even pretend to try to understand her anymore.

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3 minutes ago, Miss Chevious said:

I never thought I'd actually feel sorry for the poor horny rando that was just looking in da club for a hookup but in this episode (well practically every episode, to be honest) Luis is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. If he's around, Briana complains she doesn't feel comfortable with him in her home. If he's not around, she complains he isn't around for his daughter.  The Coven never misses a chance to bash him one way or the other, so it really doesn't matter what he does or doesn't do. He's toast either way. I almost wish he had the balls to say screw you all, consult a lawyer to work out a structured agreement, preferably where he can see Stella at his home with his family and stay the hell away from that toxic load of womanhood. I hope he's learned his lesson to keep it in his pants from now on. 

Seems like every episode Jenelle has a new batch of asskisser "friends". At least this batch got a trip to NY. Why was it necessary for UBT to be there, it's not like he's going with her to shop for dresses. She made a point of saying he wasn't even going to see her in it so why didn't he stay back on THE LAND to do all those manly man jobs like lay the sod or order the breadsticks. The prettiest dress in the world would be ruined if she was the one wearing it, especially with black pants on underneath. The scene with the dog and the Roll was just sad. 

Kail has had way too many lip and face fillers done, she looks like a balloon about to burst. Her face was fine the way it was before, now she's completely ruined it. Does anyone know if she actually completed her classes. 

Leah needs to have several seats. She hasn't overcomed one damn thing. Her so-called speech was laughable. I would have loved to be in the audience so I could have raised my hand and asked her what does 'stand in your own power' mean and watch her stumble and stammer to come up with an answer. I'll bet she has no clue as to what she's actually saying, she just spits out trite phrases that are meaningless. And for the love of sweet baby Jesus, why does she keep slapping that god-awful makeup on her children? A three year old does not need mascara and eyeliner! All three of those poor kids being dragged up there looking like they were ready for clown college. I felt sorry for them, they so obviously did not want to be there.

Chelsea's segments are refreshingly normal thank goodness. But why do these people wear baseball caps in the house? She did in one scene and Cole did in the other. It's so tacky. Maybe I'm a fuddy daddy but we were taught it wasn't good manners to ever wear a cap or hat in the house (or show up in a wifebeater at the dinner table).

I wish i could like this a million times!!

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Good Lord . The way Leah and Juhnelle mangle the English language .... Did they do anything besides spread their legs in school? Pay attention in class , open a book ? They are so dumb it's shocking ? 

Agree 1000% with Kails ' I did it alone ' bullshit talk being ridiculous - she had support , has MTV money ... You'd think she was working 2 jobs and had literally no one the way she talks . When Javi said ' I helped you make it , taking care of the boys while you studied' , Kail shot him one of her Death glares  across the table .   God forbid she should say thank you .  Isaac & Lincoln are so sweet , they had to be switched at birth. 

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3 hours ago, Uncle JUICE said:

Apologies for not knowing the proper term (sincerely, everything on this board defaults to a snarky tone, but I mean it!) but honestly, I didn't consider the other reasons she looked ridiculous. I hope I didn't offend, seriously. 

 

In fairness, I knew I'd sound like an ass, I guess that's why I prefaced it :). 

It's OK. I wouldn't expect most people outside of Gen X African-Americans  know what it is. Just giving a little insight into what it is and why Kail would be wearing it.

Edited by FlowerofCarnage
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Kail couldn't even get all three of themselves (Isaac and Lincoln dressed, then get herself dressed and do hair and makeup) ready all by herself. She had to have her two friends help her. God forbid they just met her at the graduation venue. 

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9 minutes ago, Miss Chevious said:

 

Seems like every episode Jenelle has a new batch of asskisser "friends". At least this batch got a trip to NY. Why was it necessary for UBT to be there, it's not like he's going with her to shop for dresses. She made a point of saying he wasn't even going to see her in it so why didn't he stay back on THE LAND to do all those manly man jobs like lay the sod or order the breadsticks. The prettiest dress in the world would be ruined if she was the one wearing it, especially with black pants on underneath. The scene with the dog and the Roll was just sad. 

 

 

There is no way in hell Dave was going to let Jenelle go to NYC alone, where men might look at her, or she might take a call from her mother--excuse me, Barbara. He was going to watch porn in a nice hotel,  maybe order a few Millers from room service. Did you see the look of pure terror on the face of the rent-a-friend when she told David he couldn't see the dress, and he shot her the Glance of Doom? I will be a shiny quarter that she headed back to her room after shopping, pleading a headache, rather than go to some fancy NYC restaurant (you know, like Hard Rock Cafe) with Jenelle and David.

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13 minutes ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

Poor Stella and  Nova. The Witches of East Kissimmee are hellbent on making those girls Briana and Brittany 2.0. 20 years from now, Stella will be making the same dumb decisions as her mother while Nova makes snarky comments from her semi-permanent spot on the couch.

To be fair, I'd love to sit on a couch and tell these girls just what jokes they are right to their faces.

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If taking a drink every time someone said "are you excited?" was a thing, we'd all be dead of alcohol poisoning. Jesus, can't any of these idiots even have a conversation about anything? "its graduation! are you excited!" "you're going to another empty cheapshit chain restaurant! are you excited?" "Its Tuesday! Are you excited?" Enough already. Even inserting "how do you feel?" or "how about that?" every so often would be a relief.

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5 hours ago, AirQuotes said:

Here is a BIG rant!  Why do they refuse to swaddle these days old infants?!?  Why???  WHY???  Infants that young don't have thermoregulation so they need to be wrapped.  Swaddling makes them feel happy and comfortable.  They like it!  These poor babies are so fussy because they aren't swaddled.

I work as a postpartum nurse so I might be able to shed some light on this.  I haven't had a chance to see this episode yet but there is a trend in hospitals to not swaddle babies the first few days.  It's been found that babies that are swaddled don't cue to feed as often and can make it more challenging to establish breastfeeding.  Skin-to-skin is encouraged to help with thermoregulation.  

Now that being said, I often still end up swaddling babies because parents can't stay awake 24 hours a day and we don't want the babies sleeping in beds with parents. Swaddling is often the only way the babies settle if they're not doing skin-to-skin.

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[small voice] if I went to a back yard wedding that served Olive Garden (or BBQ) I'd be pretty damn happy [/small voice] At least Jenelle is owning her lifestyle and the fact that most of her friends are probably in their early 20s and would much rather be at the beach or fishing than at a stuffy wedding. Unlike Caitlyn and Tyler's putting on airs at their wedding in that castle wearing freaking tails while guests are in jeans. 

 

That being said, girl said "out of the box" so many times it lost all meaning to me. By the end of the episode when she stood in a very pretty, very classic wedding dress that she called out of the box, I sersiouly started to question the meaning of the phrase...  have I been using it wrong my entire life??

 

I CANNOT with Leah. She doesn't want to be a motivational speaker. She wants to make (more) money for telling her personal sob story. And that's fine. There is a market for that. But she has zero experience overcoming adversity or coming up with a program or way to do something better. To compare again to Cait and Tyler... it's like them saying they want to be adoption counselors or social workers. Just no. 

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53 minutes ago, DudeLeaveMeAlone said:

Why is it a "thing" now to scream like banshees during graduation ceremonies?

This 100%.  Also going "whoooooo!" whenever there is applause.  I saw Book of Mormon on Broadway and I could not believe how the audience behaved.  *clapping* WHOOOOOOOOO!!!  WHOOOOOOO!!!  *clapping*

So trashy.

4 minutes ago, MelineB13 said:

Unlike Caitlyn and Tyler's putting on airs at their wedding in that castle wearing freaking tails while guests are in jeans. 

 

This 100%.  ;-)  One of the best weddings I ever attended was catered by KFC.  Olive Garden would provide good, reliable food (unless you are a snob) and you wouldn't really have to worry about them getting the job done.  Besides, their spaghetti sauce with the meat is damned delicious.  Sounds relaxed and fun to me, with plenty to eat.  I won't fault her for choosing OG.

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7 minutes ago, MelineB13 said:

[small voice] if I went to a back yard wedding that served Olive Garden (or BBQ) I'd be pretty damn happy [/small voice]

No you wouldn't.

 

Listen, I am a big Olive Garden fan, and I don't care how much of a suburban cliche that makes me. Their shrimp scampi pasta is excellent.

 

That said, we've had Olive Garden catered for work multiple times and it SUCKS. The bread is cold, the pasta sticks together and you end up pulling out like 60% of the bin with the tongs and you have to like, really shake the tongs hard to dislodge the noodles. Not to mention their catering dishes are extremely limited. There'd be no shrimp scampi pasta on the menu, for sure.  Also, they douse the salad with the dressing and the lettuce is super soggy.

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2 minutes ago, Tatum said:

That said, we've had Olive Garden catered for work multiple times and it SUCKS. The bread is cold, the pasta sticks together and you end up pulling out like 60% of the bin with the tongs and you have to like, really shake the tongs hard to dislodge the noodles. Not to mention their catering dishes are extremely limited. There'd be no shrimp scampi pasta on the menu, for sure.  Also, they douse the salad with the dressing and the lettuce is super soggy.

Now see?  THAT is disappointing.  I would think they could make a goldmine off of catering if it was done right. 

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I'm an Olive Garden whore myself, so I'd be perfectly happy attending a reception catered by them. 

 

12 minutes ago, Tatum said:

 

That said, we've had Olive Garden catered for work multiple times and it SUCKS. The bread is cold, the pasta sticks together and you end up pulling out like 60% of the bin with the tongs and you have to like, really shake the tongs hard to dislodge the noodles. Not to mention their catering dishes are extremely limited. There'd be no shrimp scampi pasta on the menu, for sure.  Also, they douse the salad with the dressing and the lettuce is super soggy.

It sounds like they make the food way ahead of time and it sits so long before delivery everything ends up being a congealed mess. I'm also surprised they wouldn't package the dressing separately so the salad didn't get soggy. 

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3 hours ago, Sprockets said:

Briana seemed shocked when her mother suggested it.  Isn't she bottle-feeding Nova?  I thought she was.  In which case Nova might have been shocked, too.  Maybe not in this case if I'm wrong about that, but I stand by "poor Nova," because that girl sees and hears too much.  

I can't recall if she breastfed or bottle fed Nova. In any case, I don't think Nova would have much memory of it and have cause to be shocked over breastfeeding. I didn't think Briana was shocked about the concept itself, but maybe wasn't prepared to do it right there in the backseat. But sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. If breastfeeding wasn't often seen as something to be done under a blanket or hidden away in a dirty bathroom somewhere, less people would be shocked by it. 

I do agree that poor Nova is exposed to too much. But I don't think the birth or feeding of her sister qualify. I think those are rare POSITIVE examples Brianna has given her!

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31 minutes ago, AlBee said:

I work as a postpartum nurse so I might be able to shed some light on this.  I haven't had a chance to see this episode yet but there is a trend in hospitals to not swaddle babies the first few days.  It's been found that babies that are swaddled don't cue to feed as often and can make it more challenging to establish breastfeeding.  Skin-to-skin is encouraged to help with thermoregulation.  

Now that being said, I often still end up swaddling babies because parents can't stay awake 24 hours a day and we don't want the babies sleeping in beds with parents. Swaddling is often the only way the babies settle if they're not doing skin-to-skin.

Yes, you are correct but these babies aren't being put skin to skin.

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28 minutes ago, bethster2000 said:

This 100%.  Also going "whoooooo!" whenever there is applause.  I saw Book of Mormon on Broadway and I could not believe how the audience behaved.  *clapping* WHOOOOOOOOO!!!  WHOOOOOOO!!!  *clapping*

So trashy.

I saw the Book of Mormon in London and did not see any of this behavior, just laughing when appropriate and clapping at the end. 

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1 hour ago, Miss Chevious said:

Seems like every episode Jenelle has a new batch of asskisser "friends". At least this batch got a trip to NY. Why was it necessary for UBT to be there, it's not like he's going with her to shop for dresses. She made a point of saying he wasn't even going to see her in it so why didn't he stay back on THE LAND to do all those manly man jobs like lay the sod or order the breadsticks

So he could lay in the hotel room and get high off them fancy New York City drugs. 

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I know he's a controlling dirtbag who wouldn't let Jenelle out of his sight plus of course he wants the free ride to NYC on MTV's dime so he could do just what was said above. But he wasn't necessary to the dress storyline. I should have worded my original post better. 

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50 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I can't recall if she breastfed or bottle fed Nova

Oops!  I meant to ask if she is breastfeeding Stella.  And yes I know it's natural and good and all of that, but it still might be startling for Nova to see her mom whip out her tit in the car.  I can't believe I'm talking about this. . . .and now I'm not. . . .

Edited by Sprockets
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42 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

I do agree that poor Nova is exposed to too much. But I don't think the birth or feeding of her sister qualify. I think those are rare POSITIVE examples Brianna has given her!

AGREE! When they showed the clock at 12:30am and Briana complaining that Luis left and Brittany came out of her room complaining that she was trying to sleep and then they panned to wide awake Nova standing in the middle of these harpies complaining about how men suck, I just groaned and prepared myself for 10 years from now when it would all be repeating itself. 

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I'm halfway through this shitshow, and I know the Coven is awful, but Luis is a deadbeat loser. Stella has expenses NOW, not when Luis gets around to getting his shit together. If he's currently working, what's stopping him from bringing over a box of Pampers or giving Briana at least a little bit of cash to help out? Roxanne isn't preventing him from doing any of that, he's choosing not to. I don't feel bad for him at all.

Leah and her speech? Just, no. I love how MTV is trying to sell the motivational speaker narrative and leaving out the fact that these talks are just part of a pitch to lure naive women into a shady pyramid scheme. 

Kail is a greasy mess and that graduation was so ratchet. 

Jenelle, 200 people? It looked like there was barely thirty people there and ten of them were probably MTV employees.

Aubree and Watson were the only high point of the episode.

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1 hour ago, Tatum said:

That said, we've had Olive Garden catered for work multiple times and it SUCKS.

Hell, it sucks when it's fresh(er).  Its McItalian.  

3 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Stella has expenses NOW, not when Luis gets around to getting his shit together. If he's currently working, what's stopping him from bringing over a box of Pampers or giving Briana at least a little bit of cash to help out? 

True, but also nothing - except her inability to communicate - is stopping Briana from telling him all of that.  Why did she want him to come over, anyway?  There are three grown women taking care of two children, and no extra space. Also they are not in a relationship.  

As for money, they are all earning from the show.  

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1 hour ago, MelineB13 said:

[small voice] if I went to a back yard wedding that served Olive Garden (or BBQ) I'd be pretty damn happy [/small voice]

if you get that invite, I'll totally be your Plus One!!!

19 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

 

Leah and her speech? Just, no. I love how MTV is trying to sell the motivational speaker narrative and leaving out the fact that these talks are just part of a pitch to lure naive women into a shady pyramid scheme. 

 

remember last year when her IG was all platitudes?  We knew this was coming, guys, we just didn't know we knew.

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2 minutes ago, teapot said:

if you get that invite, I'll totally be your Plus One!!!

I love Olive Garden.  But I imagined them sitting in the tent, in the swamp heat, batting at mosquitos, while trying to eat their yummy breadsticks.  No thanks.  

Edited by Mkay
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1 hour ago, Tatum said:

No you wouldn't.

 

Listen, I am a big Olive Garden fan, and I don't care how much of a suburban cliche that makes me. Their shrimp scampi pasta is excellent.

 

That said, we've had Olive Garden catered for work multiple times and it SUCKS. The bread is cold, the pasta sticks together and you end up pulling out like 60% of the bin with the tongs and you have to like, really shake the tongs hard to dislodge the noodles. Not to mention their catering dishes are extremely limited. There'd be no shrimp scampi pasta on the menu, for sure.  Also, they douse the salad with the dressing and the lettuce is super soggy.

I went to an Olive Garden catered lunch it it was the same way. And, I love me some of Olive Garden's grub. Pasta in general doesn't do well when it has to sit for any length of time. It just becomes this big lump. I've done big pasta open house style meals here and had much better luck by not saucing any of the pasta and letting the guests sauce their own. The noodles don't turn into one, giant penne rigate as quickly. 

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2 hours ago, Miss Chevious said:

Kail couldn't even get all three of themselves (Isaac and Lincoln dressed, then get herself dressed and do hair and makeup) ready all by herself. She had to have her two friends help her. God forbid they just met her at the graduation venue. 

It’s remarkable that it takes a revolving group of instant best friends to do the work that Javi’s mother (thanklessly) did each day.  As she struggling right now with baby Flux Capacitor she probably regrets what she did to Javi and misses all the help she received from his mother. 

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51 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I'm halfway through this shitshow, and I know the Coven is awful, but Luis is a deadbeat loser. Stella has expenses NOW, not when Luis gets around to getting his shit together. If he's currently working, what's stopping him from bringing over a box of Pampers or giving Briana at least a little bit of cash to help out? Roxanne isn't preventing him from doing any of that, he's choosing not to. I don't feel bad for him at all.

 

I had the same thoughts. I think Luis works weekends as a DJ. No doubt he was watching Briana showing off her fake assets on the dance floor that one night. If he is at least pulling in some part-time job money, he could at least bring a good supply of diapers and at least pay half for the daycare costs. The thing is, I don't trust those women to mention any of that on camera. He might be buying diapers and other items for Briana, we just don't hear about it. 

Luis said he and Briana had a conversation about their situation.  He said Briana could go do what she needed to do if what he was doing wasn't up to par. Briana is holding off. Not sure why, but she needs to go file for CS asap. I don't know how many red flags need to be held up to her face for her to get off her fat fake behind. 

Speaking of her fat fake behind, did anyone else notice when Briana was sitting on her bed as she was breastfeeding the baby, how the side of thigh and her ass looked like she was sitting on a balloon and it was spreading out? It look similar to that photo of Nicki Minaj sitting on a chair on a stage while performing. I can't explain it, but here is the photo of Minaj: 

 

nicki.png

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4 hours ago, Calm81 said:

 

 

And is it just me or does "my baby daddies" rub anyone the wrong way??? I haaaaaate that expression. "My kids fathers", "the father of my kids," sounds oh so much better. Her and Brianna say it too much.

 

YES! It's definitely not just you. Those terms (baby daddy/momma) make me absolutely stabby.

Edited by DangerousMinds
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Jesus, God TM2 ladies!

Jenelle: 1)You're a horrible freakin' person. I was by no means a perfect kid and gave my parents more grief than they deserved, but if I had EVER made my mother cry like that, I would have cut out my own heart. 2) This should go without saying, but show your child more affection than you do a dog (that you probably don't even have anymore). 3) Did you seriously say chicken "alfredA?"

Kail: Umm...congrats? And I think it's hilarious you didn't have a single "baby daddy" show up to support you.

Chelsea: I can't really say much. They're a way more attractive, hip and financially-set version of Mr. Birdee and me. Just hanging out, living life, being goobers and dreading watching the baby get shots.

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18 minutes ago, Birdee said:

Jesus, God TM2 ladies!

Jenelle: 1)You're a horrible freakin' person. I was by no means a perfect kid and gave my parents more grief than they deserved, but if I had EVER made my mother cry like that, I would have cut out my own heart. 2) This should go without saying, but show your child more affection than you do a dog (that you probably don't even have anymore). 3) Did you seriously say chicken "alfredA?"

Kail: Umm...congrats? And I think it's hilarious you didn't have a single "baby daddy" show up to support you.

Chelsea: I can't really say much. They're a way more attractive, hip and financially-set version of Mr. Birdee and me. Just hanging out, living life, being goobers and dreading watching the baby get shots.

Chicken aflreda, inventations, electronical, dramastic, more classier. Soon, she'll publish her own dictionary...........and blame Barb for her horrible grammar and being as dumb as a box of hair.

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9 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Yea, I kind of felt like she was using them. I didn't like it. Or their halter dresses and all that makeup. 

The makeup would have been one thing if it were like, a birthday slumber party for kids, or another age-appropriate setting for them to play around and get creative, but for mom to present them like that in front of a bunch of adult strangers is bizarre. I know it's a different world out there nowadays, but I used to play around with kiddie makeup at home and my mom made sure I washed every last trace of it off before even riding my bike around the neighborhood, LOL.

I'll admit, at first I thought it was hilarious that Jenelle wanted Olive Garden to cater her wedding. But, the more I thought about it...if she's expecting people to show up in typical, dressy wedding attire, and bring an expensive gift, and potentially appear on camera -- Olive Garden is probably not the most appropriate. I could see it working for a casual, low-budget wedding situation, or like, a graduation party maybe. But if you're flying to NY to buy a dress, AND hiring hair and makeup JUST to try on dresses (give me a break...especially for someone who is supposedly launching their own makeup line), you kind of owe it to your guests to spring for something a little nicer. On the other hand, Jenelle probably thinks Olive Garden is actually a 5-star, fancy restaurant, so I guess it makes sense.

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8 hours ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

It's called Kente cloth and all the students wore it as part of of their graduation attire.

I noticed that other students were wearing it, too.  I looked it up and Delaware State is an HBC.  I had no idea.

 

4 hours ago, MelineB13 said:

[small voice] if I went to a back yard wedding that served Olive Garden (or BBQ) I'd be pretty damn happy [/small voice] At least Jenelle is owning her lifestyle and the fact that most of her friends are probably in their early 20s and would much rather be at the beach or fishing than at a stuffy wedding. Unlike Caitlyn and Tyler's putting on airs at their wedding in that castle wearing freaking tails while guests are in jeans.

I didn't see Jenelle's wedding.  Did they have the usual bride in formal dress and guests in jeans? 

I'm never sure which one commits the faux pas--the bride who overdresses for the event, or the guests who underdress.  I guess the thinking is that it's the bride's day and she should be able to wear what she wants, but the mismatch always looks tacky to me. 

 

Quote

None of their guests looked particularly dressed up, iirc.

 

Thanks for the info.  I'm not surprised.  Shopping trip to New York to buy a fancy dress, casual guests. 

Edited by StatisticalOutlier
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1 hour ago, CofCinci said:

It’s remarkable that it takes a revolving group of instant best friends to do the work that Javi’s mother (thanklessly) did each day.  As she struggling right now with baby Flux Capacitor she probably regrets what she did to Javi and misses all the help she received from his mother. 

"Flux Capacitor"  OMG! Lol that's the best name yet!

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26 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I didn't see Jenelle's wedding.  Did they have the usual bride in formal dress and guests in jeans? 

I'm never sure which one commits the faux pas--the bride who overdresses for the event, or the guests who underdress.  I guess the thinking is that it's the bride's day and she should be able to wear what she wants, but the mismatch always looks tacky to me. 

I didn't see it either. When did they show it? As of last night's episode, she was of course still dress shopping. But admittedly, I sometimes only half-watch this show, so it's possible I missed it.

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45 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I didn't see Jenelle's wedding.  Did they have the usual bride in formal dress and guests in jeans? 

There are some pics you can check out in the Janelle thread.  Marissa was in an ill fitting wedding dress and Kaiser was barefoot so the attire was all over the place.  Janelle was definitely overdressed for an afternoon backyard wedding.  Girl has no taste so I'm not surprised.  

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29 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

There are some pics you can check out in the Janelle thread.  Marissa was in an ill fitting wedding dress and Kaiser was barefoot so the attire was all over the place.  Janelle was definitely overdressed for an afternoon backyard wedding.  Girl has no taste so I'm not surprised.  

The classiest part was you could see her black thong under the lace dress! And, she changed out of the dress pretty quickly into a horribly wrinkled, short white robe with her bathing suit under it. That's what she wore to cut the cake. Klassy McKlassersons, those two.

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