S08.E14: Oh, The Places You’ll Go

[nikita]

Quote

Kailyn graduates from college. Stella’s happy homecoming goes downhill after an explosive fight between Briana’s family and Luis. Leah takes another shot at motivational speaking. Jenelle shops for wedding dresses in New York.

[Calm81]

Leah needs to stop doing "motivational" speeches. She's just way too unorganized and worries too much about her hair and outfit of the day. I don't expect her to sound like Steve Jobs but Jesus God, Leah, rehearse them damn lines. 

I'm the WORST public speaker but for my degree I had to pass speech class. It involved having to complete THREE separate speeches. I organized what I wanted to say onto index cards and rehearsed from that until I had it well memorized then I put the index cards away and rehearsed in front of my mirror.

Come speech day, I'd carry the index cards to use as a reference (they were all individually numbered in order) to glance back to whenever I'd finish one part of topic to transition to the next.

When Leah goes to talk in front of those people (I'll admit, the looks on their faces would send me to the hills. Did MTV pay them to look so angry and bored? Lol. No encouragement when Leah said how public speaking is her biggest difficulty. If I heard someone say that while speaking I'd muster out a "You can do it!" - Rob Schneider) she just repeats incoherent word vomit.

Hey Leah, two hours rehearsing with index cards could really impact the way you handle speeches, and gradually get you to the point where you won't need the index cards (speaking training wheels).

[ReadMeLattice]

No, Leah, no!!!!

[Mkay]

35 minutes ago, Lm2162 said:

No, Leah, no!!!!

Jesus God Leah, No. 

 

There ya go. Hahahaha

[GreatKazu]

Explosive fight between Briana and Luis. Are they trying to become the new Jenelle and UBT? 

By the way, thank you @nikita for setting up the thread topics each week. We had someone, a moderator I think,  who would do them, but all of a sudden, they disappeared. 

Edited October 3, 2017 by GreatKazu
Thread not threat although, it should be seen as a threat that this damn show continues

[Tatum]

10 hours ago, Calm81 said:

When Leah goes to talk in front of those people (I'll admit, the looks on their faces would send me to the hills. Did MTV pay them to look so angry and bored?

In their minimal defense, these women are probably hoping to make a few extra bucks to help with tight household finances, and this chick who's earning $300K a year in a completely unrelated endeavor is basically hemming and hawing up there about empowerment when she hasn't really done anything work related in 5+ years and can make sales just off her MTV fanbase.

[GreatKazu]

Right. If anything, they can probably stand there and give plenty of speeches to Leah. 

[DNR]

Watching Janelle makes me so angry I have to mute or FF her scenes. Luckily I didn't miss her saying Olive Garden is catering her wedding to UBT. ? Poor Babs :(

Leah as a motivational speaker .... Motivate them to do what ? Sitting on the couch ? Rotating boyfriends thru their kids lives?Leah is too illiterate  and scatterbrained to succeed at public speaking . I LOL'd when I saw this was what she's up to now. 

[Brooklynista]

What in the actual fuck is Leah rambling about??

My fear is Leah is going to keep on with this motivational speaker mess and MTV will keep showing it. Let me go outside and burn this paper...

Edited October 3, 2017 by Brooklynista

[nikita]

5 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Explosive fight between Briana and Luis. Are they trying to become the new Jenelle and UBT? 

By the way, thank you @nikita for setting up the threat topics each week. We had someone, a moderator I think,  who would do them, but all of a sudden, they disappeared. 

My pleasure!

[poeticlicensed]

Why is Roxanne hell bent on picking a fight with Luis ?

Janelle wanting Olive garden to cater her wedding is hilarious. Janelle is so damn klassy

[Ffiferoo]

They just showed an Olive Garden commercial, which I'm assuming is like a preview of the menu at Jenelle's wedding. 

[Mr. Miner]

Lowlife skank is more affectionate to her dog than Kaiser. I want really bad things to happen to her.

[Brooklynista]

25 minutes ago, poeticlicensed said:

Why is Roxanne hell bent on picking a fight with Luis ?

Janelle wanting Olive garden to cater her wedding is hilarious. Janelle is so damn klassy

Because for some unknown reason she cant let her idiot child Briana have it for being a dumb ass 2x. At some point Roxanne had to ask Briana why she keeps letting unemployed randoms splash in her.

[pheebs]

Wow - Janelle really thinks those very typical looking wedding dresses are "out of the box." Of course they are, idiot. They're on hangers. 200 invited to the Swamp Nuptials? We saw the footage. It looked like 20 people showed up.

[Mr. Miner]

Say "out of the box" one more time you fucking dullard.

[lgprimes]

Deleted

Edited October 3, 2017 by lgprimes

[Mr. Miner]

It made me all warm and fuzzy when Jo And Javi didn't show up for the Sasquatch graduation.

[ClassyCourtHeels]

27 minutes ago, pheebs said:

Wow - Janelle really thinks those very typical looking wedding dresses are "out of the box." Of course they are, idiot. They're on hangers. 200 invited to the Swamp Nuptials? We saw the footage. It looked like 20 people showed up.

Yeah. It had to be 40 people max. A third were probably MTV people. 

 

And lord Kail looks just god awful. Straight horror movie terrible. And no surprise her degree doesn't seem to be leading to anything worth a shit. She didn't need a mass comm degree to work in the field. She already had MTV connections which if she had any sort of personality could lead to a gig. 

Edited October 3, 2017 by ClassyCourtHeels

[poeticlicensed]

So if Luis is there Briana feels uncomfortable. If he leaves, he's a bad guy. Wtf do these bitches want? I'm not saying Luis is a prize, and methinks that were it not for tm money he would be long gone, but hell those women. I really hope Brianna is using her tm money to buy a house. That apartment looks smaller every day. The rent must be huge for a 3 bedroom. Again, hopefully Brianna doesn't waste her money on stupid shit like plastic surgery. Oh wait...nevermind. 

[anonymousgirl]

6 minutes ago, Mr. Minor said:

It made me all warm and fuzzy when Jo And Javi didn't show up for the Sasquatch graduation.

Dint she tell Javi not to come come during the last episode because of general admittance or  something 

[Linny]

Jenelle infuriates me by whining about Barb not being at her wedding and not being a part of her life, "joking" with David that it's like Barb isn't her mom anymore. Does she realize that Barb is the only mother she will ever have? Speaking as someone who lost her mom at the age of eighteen, I would give ANYTHING for the opportunity to have my mom in my life. Jenelle has a mother who is healthy, present, and willing to make the effort to connect with Jenelle despite her (rightful) misgivings about Jenelle's life choices. The only reason Barb wasn't at the wedding was because Jenelle CHOSE to exclude her. She chose to exclude her because Barb will never give Jenelle the relationship she wants, which is one where Barb hands over Jace and then sits back to marvel over Jenelle's awesome life. She craves that validation which she's never going to get, because Jenelle is and has always been a fuck up, no matter how hard she pretends to be normal. She's a mean and tremendously selfish person who is too shortsighted to see that she's hurting the one person who has always been there for her. Barb isn't a perfect mother but she's always pushed for Jenelle to be better, to do better, and she deserves a hell of a lot more respect than Jenelle gives her.

And Jenelle, someone who "thinks outside of the box" could come up with 500 better options to cater a wedding than fucking Olive Garden. Sure, fly to NYC to pick a distinctive gown but then serve your guests breadsticks they could eat any damn day of the week, how very forward-thinking. I'm sure the yokels in your swamp will really appreciate that progressive attitude.

[FlowerofCarnage]

Briana can't afford to live on her own,  has to share a bedroom with daughter and decided to add a baby into the mix ? SMH

I can't believe Jenelle flew to New York just to buy that glorified table  cloth she called a wedding dress...actually,  I can believe it.

Edited October 3, 2017 by FlowerofCarnage

[ClassyCourtHeels]

Another Janellism.....

 

Inventation 

 

BWHAHAHA. I thought I misheard but then she said it a second time. 

Edited October 3, 2017 by ClassyCourtHeels

[nikita]

Watson's American flag onesie! lol

It looks like David doesn't really know how to do the work on The Land. He seems awkward when they show him hoeing or whatever. Also it sounds like he calls Jenelle "babe" ironically. Hmm.

Was Jenelle contractually obligated to say "breadsticks" on camera? I'm starting to think Olive Garden catered her wedding gratis.

Edited October 3, 2017 by nikita

[TimeToCancelTM]

14 hours ago, Mkay said:

Jesus God Leah, No. 

 

There ya go. Hahahaha

Jesus lord almighty take the wheel....

Hahaha

[nasir jones]

I rarely watch a full episode and usually get filled in by reading these threads.  Tonight (unfortunately?), I saw an entire ep for the first time in a really long time.  (Okay, I lied.  No way I sat through those Leah scenes.)

Briana, the time for wondering how an unemployed guy would support your child is BEFORE you have unprotected sex with him.

No offense to David, but I think the Trump children could do a better job of landscaping than him.  What a disaster.

Kaiser Roll being ignored so Jenelle could play with the dogs was... not remotely surprising.  

[blueorchid]

I was under the impression that Briana, her sister, and Kail's plastic surgery was free because they let that doctor snap chat it. I'll try and find proof to this. I also did a lot of fast forwarding this episode, but I DID watch to see that Briana, Nova and the baby all share a room now!! That sucks!!!! No wonder she was so upset Luis turned out to be a cheating cheater and couldn't be trusted to move her outta there. That's probably why Briana's mom is being so annoying about his job, she wants him to move all these extra people out of her apartment!

Jenelle ignoring Kaiser running at her is something I hope Kaiser can discuss with a trusted therapist one day. 

Edited October 3, 2017 by blueorchid
poor grammar

[Mkay]

1 hour ago, Brooklynista said:

What in the actual fuck is Leah rambling about??

My fear is Leah is going to keep on with this motivational speaker mess and MTV will keep showing it. Let me go outside and burn this paper...

Shouldn't those people have thrown their own fear in the fire (the paper). How does it help to watch Leah burn their fear/paper? ?‍♀️

You do not work at home Jenelle, just stop.  When she mentioned that she calls her mom "Mom" and David corrects her to say Barbara I couldn't help but think, shouldn't it be the same for Jace? Not in Jenelle's head though.  Please learn what "outside the box" means. 

Kail was awfully concerned about Chris being at the graduation.   She was so focused on looking around for him.  She's such a jerk face. 

Edited October 3, 2017 by Mkay

[Abmis]

The adoring way that Watson looked at Aubree in the car warmed my cold heart.

Which did Jenelle say the most "out of the box"  or "my mom's not invited to the wedding?"  Classless trash.

[Mkay]

43 minutes ago, ClassyCourtHeels said:

Another Janellism.....

 

Inventation 

 

BWHAHAHA. I thought I misheard but then she said it a second time. 

I thought something sounded odd about the way she said it. Lol Good catch! 

[nikita]

Oh, Jenelle, you mean that inside joke when you say "my mom" and David says "you mean Barbara" where he's conditioning you to further separate from your mom? Ha. Ha. Hilarious.

[VioletNevermind]

Man, Briana and her family are level-10 ball-busters.  How Luis can sit there and take that shit without storming out is beyond me.  They feed off of dysfunction.  I truly think they would be disappointed if Luis stepped up to the plate and really got involved in his baby’s care and financial support because they wouldn’t be justified in tearing him limb-from-limb with their fangs–– to his face!  I think I’m rooting for him more than anyone on this show for that very reason.  Poor little Nova looked so sad and solemn in the car on the way home from the hospital.  It’s as if she can see into the future and is not happy with what she sees (and I’m not just talking about her mother’s breast as she nursed her baby in a moving car).

Hey, Briana, if you would rather not deal with the chaos and exhaustion of having yet another innocent baby with yet another low-energy loser of a man, may I suggest closing your damn legs for a while and focusing on the two you already have?  Just a thought.

Edited October 3, 2017 by SuzyLee

[GreatKazu]

39 minutes ago, blueorchid said:

I was under the impression that Briana, her sister, and Kail's plastic surgery was free because they let that doctor snap chat it. I'll try and find proof to this. I also did a lot of fast forwarding this episode, but I DID watch to see that Briana, Nova and the baby all share a room now!! That sucks!!!! No wonder she was so upset Luis turned out to be a cheating cheater and couldn't be trusted to move her outta there. That's probably why Briana's mom is being so annoying about his job, she wants him to move all these extra people out of her apartment!

Jenelle ignoring Kaiser running at her is something I hope Kaiser can discuss with a trusted therapist one day. 

This mentions Kail received a discount: http://extratv.com/2016/01/19/teen-mom-stars-kailyn-lowry-and-briana-dejesus-get-plastic-surgery-transformations/

[Christina]

I didn't see the episode but it sounds like the coven is ignoring the fact that Briana was trolling for a man to get her pregnant, because MTV was looking to add someone to the show, and she didn't expect to be supported by that man. Luis was not the only man she slept with in her quest and his job is reportedly a drug dealer who works as a DJ, too. 

There is no way that I can know this and Brittany and her mom don't. But by all means, keep trashing the man on television. He probably wouldn't have been there at all if MTV wasn't filming, but they sound like they are making themselves look bad, because they are, and him sympathetic, which he wouldn't be if they weren't so awful.

Briana being added was one of the reasons I was finally able to walk away. Jenelle and David are the other. So, I should probably thank them for adding more trash people to the show and breaking the spell that bound me to watch.

[CaliforniaLove]

I have yet to watch, but what in the actual fuck? Jenelle has always been absolutely vile to Barb, but withholding all-you-can-eat breadsticks?? That's cold yo. 

[Jeanne222]

Quote

So I'm guessing everybody enjoyed tonight's show!

MTV. MAkes these trashy girls think they ARE celebrities.  Janelle with hair and makeup for a dress fitting???  Really???

All I could think of was you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear!

Leah a motivational speaker?  Where do they come up with this stuff?  Those girls attending looked paid and bored.  Is Leah selling  any of that lipstick??

Chelsea has drawn her line  in the sand.  She's not buying any mtv drama to be on the show!  I still predict she'll be gone soon.

Kail..what can I say.  Her classmates didn't seem excited to have her and MTV there.  BTW where was her current baby daddy?

[MoonMountain]

Is it just me, or was it weird that Leah brought her kids out at the end of her speech? They were clearly uncomfortable saying their 5 affirmations, and probably had a hard time remembering them in a strange situation. Idk...I could see doing it if the audience was a little younger, or if she maybe encouraged them to say their favorite affirmation instead of going through all of them. But telling them to repeat 5 things they share in private with their mom, in front of a room full of strangers (AND all of the cameras too) rubbed me the wrong way. I would have been terrified to do something like that at that age. That being said, I am not a mom, maybe it's good to push your kids out of their comfort zone, the whole thing just seemed unpleasant to me.

[GreatKazu]

Leah's girlses looking like little tarts. What the hell? 

Karl's graduation looks like it took place in a warehouse.

That's all I care to post. 

Edited October 4, 2017 by GreatKazu

[Rebecca]

Nova is such a sweet child. I feel so bad for her. On a shallow note, while she basically lost the dad lottery, she is lucky that she inherited Devoin's looks, she's beautiful. The coven is gross. Stop taking with your mouth full of food, Roxanne. The only word to describe her is tacky. I can't even get into the Luis stuff. Gee, I wonder why the fuck he left..(not saying it was right but..).

Chelsea and Cole are the basic-est of all bitches. She's there in her "#momlife" shirt and he's there in his "hunting dad" shirt and American flag hat. But, they were bonding and teaching their baby so I give them a pass on being so basic. On this show, basic is extraordinary. They are very boring though...no one is watching for this.

Leah is just not a strong person. She also needs to quit telling the audience how awkward she feels and how unprepared she is for her talks, it makes it even more awkward. This was much better than her previous attempt but, to me, she still mostly sounded like an idiot. Buzz words again, that's it.  No one would've gone to this if she wasn't "Leah from Teen Mom 2." Until she is real and explains that ? she has nothing. I'd have more respect for her regarding Ali and her supposed coping if she actually did what the doctors ordered and if she seemed to be embracing Ali's different needs and abilities and helping her to thrive with them. In my opinion, Leah just denies the facts for the most part and is trying to fake to herself that Ali is just like Gracie and can choose to do everything she does. Either she's truly not smart enough to get it or she wants to remain ignorant and chooses not to get it. That's not strength. That's not coping. That's denial and or stupidity. I was surprised that she recognized her own "daddy issues" though. I'm assuming she's read that about herself enough times but I'm still glad it sunk in, maybe. 

I don't understand how Kailyn has such wonderful children. It's like all the charm she was supposed to get went to them somehow instead so Isaac and Lincoln each have the charm and sweetness of 1.5 people and she has none. I wonder what her third child will be like? Glad she graduated, now she can stop talking about it, right?

Jenelle was definitely high talking about Olive Garden. She knows she has "more time than most people" because she "works at home" so she can dedicate a lot of time to planning her wedding...yet no time to spend with or take care of her kids. No way in hell there were even 100 people at the wedding, let alone 200+, babe. Cool "inside joke" you have...I bet your kids will also think calling you "Mom" is a huge joke, babe. No one wants to watch Jenelle and her random asskissers dress shop. 

Edited October 3, 2017 by Rebecca

[bethster2000]

3 hours ago, Brooklynista said:

unemployed randoms splash in her.

Priceless.  Now let me dislodge this pretzel I am choking on, laughing so hard :-D

[lasandi]

You know who else besides Janelle who can't think "out of the box"?  The MTV people who thought it was a good idea to bring the coven back on TM.  

[GreatKazu]

Kail thinks because she has been doing TM for 8 years that somehow qualifies her to start higher in the business of communications? Entitled, stupid bitch.  I guess we know why she chose that as her goal in college. She thought she had one foot in the door with her MTV "job".  You have to start at the bottom of the totem pole, dummy. Spreading your legs to various guys and girls, including when you were married, makes you an expert as a puta, not an expert in the communications field. 

[Calm81]

Just wow! 

If I were whistling for my dog to come and rush over so that I could hug it but my toddler thought I was calling her I'd make the EASY DECISION  to extend my arms to my child, first!!!!!!!!

 

Just wow!

Jenelle is going to have Kaisers future therapist driving around in Astin Martins for sure, with the money he/she will make off of that kids sucky childhood. Poor adorable Kaiser. I'd give you a thousand hugs if I could. ?

Edited October 3, 2017 by Calm81

[Sprockets]

On 10/2/2017 at 5:34 AM, Calm81 said:

Hey Leah, two hours rehearsing with index cards could really impact the way you handle speeches, and gradually get you to the point where you won't need the index cards (speaking training wheels).

But Leah has no brain.  She is so completely brainless that she actually believed she did well.  Meanwhile, Aly is walking around with no wheelchair in sight. . . .

[Sprockets]

10 hours ago, DNR said:

Luckily I didn't miss her saying Olive Garden is catering her wedding to UBT. ? Poor Babs :(

"Olive Garden" and "catering" simply cannot be used in the same sentence.  However, having told that to David for probably the thousandth time, he still wanted to know what food they would have.  Jenelle says "chicken alfredo," which has to be served at a specific temperature, which it won't be in a buffet.  Also, people who are dressed up typically are not fond of foods with sauce.  But the event will be a clusterfuck in so many other ways that this detail is unlikely to make a huge difference.  

10 hours ago, Mr. Minor said:

I want really bad things to happen to her.

Well she looks like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag in that wedding dress, so there ya go!  Picture it trailing pieces of dead sod. . . .

9 hours ago, pheebs said:

Janelle really thinks those very typical looking wedding dresses are "out of the box."

Janelle thinks of herself a being "out of the box," and she might - just might - want her dress to be "boho," if she can figure out what that means.  It would take the light from Planet Class a million years to reach Jenelle.  

[Sprockets]

7 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Is Leah selling  any of that lipstick??

No one in Possum Holler has money for lipstick.  Leah smears it all on her daughters.  

[Sprockets]

6 hours ago, Rebecca said:

I'd have more respect for her regarding Ali and her supposed coping if she actually did what the doctors ordered and if she seemed to be embracing Ali's different needs and abilities and helping her to thrive with them. In my opinion, Leah just denies the facts for the most part and is trying to fake to herself that Ali is just like Gracie and can choose to do everything she does. Either she's truly not smart enough to get it or she wants to remain ignorant and chooses not to get it. That's not strength. That's not coping. That's denial and or stupidity. I was surprised that she recognized her own "daddy issues" though. I'm assuming she's read that about herself enough times but I'm still glad it sunk in, maybe. 

Leah learned to say "daddy issues" the way some dogs can be trained to sound like they're talking.  If asked for any details she'd go all deer-in-headlights crosseyed.  She really is too dumb to "get it," with "it" being anything except how to whine, take drugs and sleep around.  She is using Ali's very real illness to promote herself, while at the same time neglecting Ali.  Where is the wheelchair?  

[ghoulina]

Aubree and Watson giggling at each other in the backseat of the car made this shitshow worth watching. 

 

As do Isaac and Lincoln. If I didn't hate Kail so much, their scenes would have been so touching. It's clear they really love their mom, Lord knows why. 

When Kail was whining about no one being interested in her graduation, all I could think was - "waaaaah".  Am I evil for loving that it was pouring on the big day?

And we have yet ANOTHER oddly named friend - "Artise". Does Kail put out ads on Craigslist - "sycophants with memorable names needed"? 

 

Well, Leah did a little better this week, but still.....I really don't get the point of these speeches. It's like the same corny shit people have been saying for ages. "I am beautiful. I am strong. I am a parrot". Oh, and then let's burn some negative shit in a fire together. No one's EVER done that before!!!

I guess if it makes her happy and people show up, I shouldn't snark. But I will. 

 

No idea why Jenelle had to go all the way to NY to shop for dresses. I guess they're much more "out of the box" in NY? Bahahaha, your dress ain't nothing special, honey. 

I laughed so hard when Jenelle mentioned that she had more time to plan a wedding than the average person because she "works" from home. Work. You keep using that word; I don't think you know what it means. Or how to plan a wedding. Because yours was shit. And where were those 120 guests you supposedly had? And David's 80-90? Did you really send out that many invites? Or did everyone just decline? 

Nope, don't care. 

 

Dang, Stella has a horrible cry. I felt super bad for Nova on that car ride. But one thing I can say for The Coven, they won't let her get brushed aside. 

"Just take that shit out and give it to her" - the only moment I've ever liked Roxanne. 

I don't get why Luis was staying with them. It clearly wasn't to help. He said he wanted to spend time with Stella before going on the road. But he barely even holds her. All the women do is bitch at him, so why would he even WANT to be there? And since they're not together, why would Brianna want him there??? It was just so weird. 

I was confused too, because Bri asked about his schedule and he said something about "work" one day, but then later they're all busting his balls to get work. Does he have a job or no? Does he have one NOW?

I still can't feel that sorry for Brianna. This is why you get to know people before you procreate with them. And all the bitching in the world isn't going to change him. It's tiresome to listen to. File for CS and be done with it. 

Edited October 3, 2017 by ghoulina

[Mambo Gladys]

Kail’s dress: was she going to graduation or a nightclub?