S05.E01: The Big House (1)

[formerlyfreedom]

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Jake and Rosa assimilate to their new lives behind bars, but both are coping in very different ways. Jake bonds with his cellmate, Caleb, and is forced to join a prison gang led by notorious inmate Romero, in order to gain his protection. Meanwhile, in the women's prison, Rosa puts Holt and Terry to the test by having them complete outrageous favors for her. Back in the precinct, Amy and Charles are doing all they can to exonerate their colleagues

[tomsmom]

“Are you gonna play the gay card?”

“Yas Queen.....(snap)”

  Dead.

[possibilities]

Whoa. Love the beard.

[betweenthebanter]

This was probably my favorite season opener.

I can't even describe how happy I am to have this show back.  Despite the fact that this episode was about characters that I love being miserable in prison, I still left the episode feeling giddy because it was so good to have these characters and relationships on my screen again.

My Jake/Amy loving heart also melted at his line to her at the end. Also appreciated that this episode didn't feel overcrowded and they stuck to just an A and B plot.

[Irlandesa]

There are some times I find this show really entertaining and there are other times I feel like I'm watching more out of habit than a real desire to watch.  Today's episode was one I dreaded because I hated the prison twist but it ended up being a really funny episode. 

I too loved the beard.  I loved the cannibal cellmate.  It just kept getting worse and funnier with every new detail. 

Holt playing the gay card was hilarious but equally funny to me was his Rosa, Rosa, Rosa *puts hand on glass with Rosa written on it.*

[Jeddah]

2 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

Holt playing the gay card was hilarious but equally funny to me was his Rosa, Rosa, Rosa *puts hand on glass with Rosa written on it.*

The hand on the glass made me laugh so hard. He planned ahead enough to write Rosa on his hand. I love Holt for things like that. I also cracked up at him on the phone with the cable guy.

I'm glad this show is back, and I liked this episode a lot, but I don't want Jake and Rosa to be locked up much longer!

[Utpe]

Captain Holt:  "The number 8, equals sign, equals sign, equals sign, equals sign, equals sign, equals sign, equals sign, capital D.  Oh, I see what this is.  This is a..."

Rosa:  "Yep."

LMAO!  This episode definitely had me rolling.

[BabyVegas]

Andre. Braugher. Is. Everything. I died laughing at "Yas queen." I love how this show lets him be crazy in his own very staid Holt-ish way.

[AsYouWish]

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I too loved the beard.  I loved the cannibal cellmate.  It just kept getting worse and funnier with every new detail. 

File this under sentences I never thought I'd write, but I loved the cannibal!

I really loved this episode.  And Holt mistakenly thinking it would be easy to cancel cable only to discover that it was one of the worst ordeals known to man was one of the most awesomely relatable scenes TV has ever given us :)

[hoodooznoodooz]

I don't think Rosa should be wearing makeup in prison.

Romero's first name is Jeff. 

I liked the paint colors, White Wisp and I forgot the other one. 

[luna1122]

27 minutes ago, AsYouWish said:

File this under sentences I never thought I'd write, but I loved the cannibal!

I really loved this episode.  And Holt mistakenly thinking it would be easy to cancel cable only to discover that it was one of the worst ordeals known to man was one of the most awesomely relatable scenes TV has ever given us :)

As a Mads Mikkelsen/Hannibal devotee, I have a history of loving cannibals. Tim Meadows was such a cheerful, child killing cannibal!

Rosa definitely had access to a LOT of makeup in prison.

Andy should keep the beard. Great season opener.

[Matt K]

This episode was weird for me.  I absolutely hate them being in prison but the episode itself was pretty good. Plus Tim Meadows and Lou Diamond Phillips.  That said I really hope they resolve this prison stuff next episode (or the one after that if we go by the three part opener last season) because I'm not sure how much of this I can watch no matter how well written it is.

[MsNewsradio]

If it means keeping Lou Diamond Phillips around, hope Jake stays in prison for a long, long time. :D

[Traveller519]

"Oh, cool. You guys brought Hitchcock."

"No, we just ran to him in the lobby.  We're not sure why he's here." 

/Cut to Hitchcock's reason for being there.... *shudder

Holt's "In... Pennsylvania" and trying to cancel her cable were other great bits.

 

Way to come back strong!

[WritinMan]

Great to have this show back. One of the few comedies I actually think is funny. Hope the prison story line doesn't last too long, though. I think those usually tend to drag shows down.

 

 

Beef Baby.

[tennisgurl]

I was so worried about this prison story line being super depressing, but I shouldn't have doubted, because that was still hilarious, while still taking the awful situation that Rosa and Jake are in seriously. We get lots of laughs, but also get to really feel for Jake and Rosa and how hard this is for them. Stop beating Jake up damn it! 

Holt had no idea that canceling cable is truly one of the longest, most soul crushing experiences in human history. The struggle is truly real. Also, "YAS QUEEN". Amazing. 

Jake actually looks pretty good with a beard. Looks like another season of "when did I stat finding Andy Samberg so attractive?" And he and Amy are just so adorable I want to watch them just go on a series of adorable dates after Jake is out of jail and be adorable. 

[hendersonrocks]

The 99 being back in my life has made this dumpster fire of a week/month/year a little bit better. 

I couldn't remember from last year's last few episodes - did we know Pimento was going to Argentina?

The lack of Gina was a-okay with me, and I'm not even a Gina hater...I assume Chelsea Peretti was still on maternity leave when they filmed the first few eps. I'm a little anxious about Gina-as-Mom plotlines, but the writers have certainly earned the benefit of the doubt. (I would like for them to give tutorials on how to write effective romantic relationships among main characters.) 

[ItCouldBeWorse]

4 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I don't think Rosa should be wearing makeup in prison.

A lot more than she usually wears, too.

[bethy]

What did Jake say about his badass prison beard? "I need another six to seven years!!" 

 

I'm really torn on the cannibal cellmate (and, seriously, how is that even possible?). On the one hand I love Tim Meadows, and I'm not gonna lie, I've laughed a couple of times at what he's said. But on the other hand, how is it ever appropriate to joke about killing and eating anyone, much less children? If I think about it at ALL, it literally makes me queasy. 

[ItCouldBeWorse]

4 hours ago, luna1122 said:

Rosa definitely had access to a LOT of makeup in prison.

Edited September 27, 2017 by ItCouldBeWorse

[thuganomics85]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine is back!!

Despite not liking how the finale played out last year, I actually enjoyed this premiere.  There was a few moments that were ruined by real life events (Jake getting beaten up by the guard made me think of the real brutality in prisons, especially with Arpaio back in the "spotlight"), but I loved Jake and new "cannibal friend" and how darker it went as the episode progressed (and getting to see Andy Samberg and Tim Meadows together after co-starring in the sadly underrated Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping), Lou Diamond Phillips was a blast as Romero, fun seeing Toby Huss as the warden, and how Ramen soup is the new cigarettes in prison.  Obviously, I doubt/hope he and Rosa won't be in prison for long, but this was still fun.

Speaking of Rosa, her B-plot with Holt and Terry was the greatest.  I figured she was trying to get them to finally break and treat her normal again, but I still loved how far it went.  And of course Holt's reactions to Pimento's email and the way he kept saying "Rosa" were the highlights.  Andre Braugher is the gift that keeps on giving!

Of course Boyle is having dreams where Jake gets out and then shoves her way to give him a hug and take him to Disneyland!  Not healthy, Boyle!

Not much of Amy in this one, but I like that is clear that she is the person that is helping Jake keep his sanity while he's in this tough situation.

Glad the show is back and I'm back to being optimistic about this season.

[ClareWalks]

37 minutes ago, bethy said:

I'm really torn on the cannibal cellmate (and, seriously, how is that even possible?). On the one hand I love Tim Meadows, and I'm not gonna lie, I've laughed a couple of times at what he's said. But on the other hand, how is it ever appropriate to joke about killing and eating anyone, much less children? If I think about it at ALL, it literally makes me queasy. 

I had the same thought, when he revealed "they were CHILDREN, Jake!" I LOL'd, then felt bad about it, because yeah, if that actually happened it'd be horrible. Somehow I thought Tim Meadows totally sold me that plotline, though. He's not so bad! He just ate some children! o_O

Enjoyed the premiere! I am curious about the culture at Rosa's prison. I'd love to see how she interacts with the other inmates, and if her tough-chick demeanor can make up for the fact that she's a cop (and therefore a target).

[Traveller519]

I'm glad to see they're using these alternative settings for moments of woke-ness again. Like last year's time in Florida ("That was possibly very Transphobic"; "Our Country is broken" [with how easy it is to get a gun]; and "It's 2016, man. This is on you"), they dropped in the conversation where both the Warden and Jake agreed that the worst case scenario was being Trans in prison.

Mike Schur's guiding had has been good at dropping those moments in, without beating you over the head with them, just showing the cast (though usually through Jake) as being hyper-aware of the pressing social issues of the day.

[Calamity Jane]

Tim Meadows!!  Lou Diamond Phillips!!  Street ramen!  Canceling cable!  And everything!  For me, this show has managed to keep funny elements that have been there since the beginning without bogging down in them.  I think for season 5 it still feels fresh and very, very funny.  Really happy to see it back - I've been needing something that makes me laugh.

[peeayebee]

I love Toby Huss, so I was super excited to see him as the warden. The little convo with Jake about trans people in prison was great.

Lou Diamond Phillips was awesome. He was appropriately tough and scary when needed, but then the humor part fit well also. I particularly liked when he mouthed "No" to Jake when the big guy behind him was saying his stuff mattered too re the guard. Oh, and of course his love of ramen and Jake's serving tip was great.

I like Tim Meadows as the child-eating cellmate -- or, uh, woodworker. He comes across as harmless and mild-mannered enough that I don't find joking about eating children to be offensive. 

The cold open with Charles' dream was terrific. First of all, the obvious exposition everyone was doing to remind us of where things stood cracked me up. But then suddenly it dawned on me that he was dreaming. 

Poor Charles, not getting any touching-time with Jake. :(

Holt with his "Rosa's" was so good, capped with it written on his palm. His "Yas Queen" and awesome snap was the best.

Andy Samberg is so so funny. I can't remember what it was he did in one moment, but he kind of shudder-responded to someone. Maybe it was with the anti-Semitism. 

Holt: You're more the biker type. I've seen you use a toothpick in public.

[Gummo]

What's consistently amazing about B99 is that they take storylines that could go so, so wrong ... and do them so right! And make it look effortless!

As others have said, there's so much that could have gone south in this episode - our heroes in prison? Jake's best cell buddy a cannibal? - but it was hilarious. Like others have said (there's that phrase again), I was afraid the season opener couldn't help but be depressing but ... not!

Romero, Jake and street ramen for the win, Beefbaby!

[Mama No Life]

3 hours ago, peeayebee said:

I love Toby Huss, so I was super excited to see him as the warden. The little convo with Jake about trans people in prison was great.

Lou Diamond Phillips was awesome. He was appropriately tough and scary when needed, but then the humor part fit well also. I particularly liked when he mouthed "No" to Jake when the big guy behind him was saying his stuff mattered too re the guard. Oh, and of course his love of ramen and Jake's serving tip was great.

I like Tim Meadows as the child-eating cellmate -- or, uh, woodworker. He comes across as harmless and mild-mannered enough that I don't find joking about eating children to be offensive. 

The cold open with Charles' dream was terrific. First of all, the obvious exposition everyone was doing to remind us of where things stood cracked me up. But then suddenly it dawned on me that he was dreaming. 

Poor Charles, not getting any touching-time with Jake. :(

Holt with his "Rosa's" was so good, capped with it written on his palm. His "Yas Queen" and awesome snap was the best.

Andy Samberg is so so funny. I can't remember what it was he did in one moment, but he kind of shudder-responded to someone. Maybe it was with the anti-Semitism. 

Holt: You're more the biker type. I've seen you use a toothpick in public.

He did a shudder smile when he talked to Amy at the first visit about how much cops are hated for locking people in steel cages and somethingsomethingsomething

[dusang]

I knew the Yass Queen was coming and I still laughed and nearly fell off my chair!! Andre Braugher is the best.

[RobertDeSneero]

12 hours ago, bethy said:

I'm really torn on the cannibal cellmate (and, seriously, how is that even possible?). On the one hand I love Tim Meadows, and I'm not gonna lie, I've laughed a couple of times at what he's said. But on the other hand, how is it ever appropriate to joke about killing and eating anyone, much less children? If I think about it at ALL, it literally makes me queasy. 

I want them to go a bit farther.  When Jake inevitably gets out of prison, he says good bye to cannibal Caleb, he calls him not a bad guy for a child-eating cannibal and a guard points out that Caleb molested them before he ate them and Samberg give his best "Whhhhaaaatttt?!?" face, as if it never occurred to him that it might be possible.

[DearEvette]

I had no worries at all last season with the prison story looming.  I knew this show had it in it to take the premise and just be silly with it.  And it delivered like crazy.  I mean, Tim Meadows as a child eating cannibal?  And you like him?   Lou Diamond Phillips' contraband of choice is exotic flavored Ramen?   They even made Jake's unprovoked multiple beat-downs by the guard funny.  Basically they some horrible prison tropes  and made them all very B99. I loved it.

I'll bet the story wraps up in Part 2, so we won't be in jail long.

[Mrs OldManBalls]

The repeated attempts by Jake and his woodworking cannibal cellie to film the beatdown was the least funny thing, and it was still pretty funny. 

[Danny Franks]

So great to have this show back. Easily the funniest thing on television. I usually hate storylines about someone being locked up, because they so often become tedious retreads through already mined clean tropes. But as usual, the Brooklyn Nine-Nine writers found entertaining and novel ideas to use. It was all so genre savvy and witty, that even the storyline of Jake having to get rid of a guard to join a gang, and then being used by the warden to snitch on that gang, felt fresh.

For example, Jake's buddy is a woodworker who killed and ate children, but he was thoroughly likeable. I didn't even feel guilty about laughing at some of his lines:

"I did all my stuff, and more. There's tons they can't even trace to me, the secret is eating the evidence."

"They were children, Jake. Weak, little children! One conk on the head was all it took."

I'm honestly a little surprised they were allowed to joke about that. It's so dark, but man, was it funny.

Lou Diamond Phillips was fun as the prison kingpin. He's always struck me as a little unstable (I think it's the crazy eyes), and he used it to good effect here. The big guy who played his muscle also appeared in GLOW, as Carmen's pro-wrestler dad. Nice to see he's getting more work, because he's not bad.

I've always loved how this show treats the criminal characters, how they often end up cooperating just because they want to be good sports, or in on the joke. Or they're happy to clearly explain that they're going to stab Jake if he gets too close to the fence. 

Holt and Terry visiting Rosa was so much fun. Holt with his attempts to keep her human by occasionally and casually throwing her name into the conversation, Terry just being a big, endearing spaz. And Hitchcock doing... what he was doing. Them doing all the favours for Rosa was amusing, and then struggling so badly to cancel her cable package... I guess someone in the writing team had a bone to pick with their provider. It was fairly obvious that her list of favours were just a way of irritating them enough to start treating her normally again. I wouldn't mind a bit more meat to her side of things, though. Hopefully we'll see that in the next episode or two. Rosa in prison, being scared and alone but still being tough enough to start riots? That, I want to see.

Jake and Amy are still a great couple. Loving and supportive and completely drama free. Easily the most maturely written relationship I can think of, and it's in a half hour sitcom. Also, Jake once took a seminar on how to ace job interviews? Wonder who convinced him to do that.... And I do think Amy may have had a tiny orgasm when she heard that Jake was reading Philip Roth novels.

[VCRTracking]

The way Holt kept saying "Rosa" and the "Yas, Queen" and fingersnap were hilarious.

I love Jake but I couldn't stop laughing at him continuing getting beaten up by the guard! "That's all it took?!"

Tim Meadows and Lou Diamond Phillips' characters were great.

Jake and Amy are now my favorite sitcom couple.

[dusang]

I love this show so much.  I'm not sure which I'm more deeply disturbed by, finding a child-eating cannibal adorably funny or being so attracted to serious actor Andy Samberg -- WHAT IS HAPPENING?

But seriously, someone's gif-ed Holt's Yass Queen by now, right??

ETA: I had only to click into the next thread!  THANKS!!!

Edited September 28, 2017 by dusang

[iMonrey]

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Captain Holt:  "The number 8, equals sign, equals sign, equals sign, equals sign, equals sign, equals sign, equals sign, capital D.  Oh, I see what this is. 

I still don't get it! 8===============D ?? Someone explain to this dummy what this means. Thanks.

Cancelling the cable is what really killed me. "Now you have Epix, and something called Toonz with a Z. A 2-year commitment." 

[ClareWalks]

2 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

I still don't get it! 8===============D ?? Someone explain to this dummy what this means. Thanks.

It's a penis!

[iMonrey]

Hmm. I really have to look for that. It's a stretch, but OK.

[hoodooznoodooz]

29 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

Hmm. I really have to look for that. It's a stretch, but OK.

Don't forget. Rosa knows how Pimento's mind works. 

[peeayebee]

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

Hmm. I really have to look for that. It's a stretch, but OK.

Yup, with all those equal signs it's a long stretch. 

BTW, the 8 is the balls, if that helps you visualize it.

[dusang]

Seven equals signs is a bit of overkill but it's actually fewer than your transcription of it. 8=======D

[DearEvette]

2 hours ago, dusang said:

8=======D

 

Actually if you squint/blur your eyes a little it works.

Of course Pimento would send that to Rosa.  Oh show, never change.

[Unclejosh]

In the days before gifs and emojis, this was how people sexted.

[Loandbehold]

Anyone else come away w/ the feeling that Pimento is much funnier when he's not on screen?

[iMonrey]

Yeah, I'm not exactly clamoring for his return. I didn't really miss Gina either, and normally I don't even mind her that much. But this episode proved the show can do just as well (or, arguably, better) without her.

It's interesting that Ramen is a currency here because that's a thing in Orange is the New Black, too.

Edited September 29, 2017 by iMonrey

[wknt3]

On 9/28/2017 at 3:53 PM, dusang said:

Seven equals signs is a bit of overkill...

Speak for yourself. I use six, but that's only because I was always taught to underpromise and overdeliver.

I think this was one of the show's best season premieres. It was fun and it didn't feel like we were spinning our wheels waiting for them to resolve the cliffhanger and get back to the status quo. Perhaps because everyone was together even if they weren't all in the precinct and it seems like there's a pretty obvious path to get there without some huge plot twist. Plus the writing was great and I liked the beard so that helped.

[peeayebee]

Of course Pimento would use lots and lots of equal signs.

[Danny Franks]

On 29/09/2017 at 8:07 PM, iMonrey said:

Yeah, I'm not exactly clamoring for his return. I didn't really miss Gina either, and normally I don't even mind her that much. But this episode proved the show can do just as well (or, arguably, better) without her.

It's interesting that Ramen is a currency here because that's a thing in Orange is the New Black, too.

I know Gina is returning at some point, although I wish she wouldn't. She is never missed when she's not around. Pimento? I'm not sure if he will be back, and I really, really hope he isn't. The one character Jason Mantzoukas does is completely jarring in this show. He worked okay in The League, because he was torturing other asshole characters, he works okay as himself on How Did This Get Made because he's making fun of stuff that should be made fun of. On this show? Where I like nearly all the characters and don't feel antagonistic, negative energy is required? No. He's too much. And he always makes me like Rosa less, because I can't believe she's into him. I never want to like Rosa less.

[bethy]

On 9/27/2017 at 1:31 PM, Traveller519 said:

I'm glad to see they're using these alternative settings for moments of woke-ness again. Like last year's time in Florida ("That was possibly very Transphobic"; "Our Country is broken" [with how easy it is to get a gun]; and "It's 2016, man. This is on you"), they dropped in the conversation where both the Warden and Jake agreed that the worst case scenario was being Trans in prison.

Mike Schur's guiding had has been good at dropping those moments in, without beating you over the head with them, just showing the cast (though usually through Jake) as being hyper-aware of the pressing social issues of the day.

One of the things I really like about how they've handled doing these moments is that, for the most part, they haven't been treated as "very special episode" times or Jake-is-an-ignorant-white-dude-bro-who-must-learn-an-important-lesson situations. More often than not Jake is the one who is making the comment or agreeing with what's been said. It assumes a level of awareness in Jake and the others that is very appealing and not condescending to the audience (as if we, the viewing public, need to be instructed by the writers/directors/producers/actors).

[Inquisitionist]

On ‎9‎/‎28‎/‎2017 at 0:33 PM, ClareWalks said:

It's a penis!

A pretty long penis!

My husband and I finally found time to watch this and the 2nd episode last night.  I'm not gonna lie:  I had been putting it off for a while because I was not a huge fan of the ending storyline last season.  But this was a fabulous return, and I'll watch it again.  Yay, B99!

[Lady Calypso]

I've finally caught up to this season after binge watching on Netflix for the last few weeks. It's so hard for me to get into any sitcoms or comedies (I only lasted a season and a half through Parks and Rec, and the last comedy I fell in love with was Enlisted), so it's nice that I finally got into this one...well, after three tries. 

I wasn't sure how much I'd like the prison storyline; to be honest, I had to skip some parts in the finale because I knew I wouldn't be fond of the outcome. But this first episode? I found it surprisingly funny. I know they won't keep Jake and Rosa in prison for much longer, but it's a good temporary story. I liked Tim Meadows and Lou Diamond Phillips in their roles. I can't believe I was entertained by a child eating cannibal, but Tim Meadows makes his character entertaining. Meanwhile, Lou managed to make Romero both hilarious with his ramen and terrifying. Andy Samberg really sold his terror underneath the humour, especially in the last scene when talking to Amy. 

I also gotta say that Amy/Jake are one of my favourite couples on TV right now. Binge watching the entire series, it's been fun to watch their relationship grow and how they haven't just broken up, like most TV couples do at some point. It's nice to have their drama be separate from their relationship. 

I really loved Holt's Yas Queen line. It actually really worked because he was mocking the stereotype that a lot of comedies default to with gay characters. I also loved the line about trans people getting the worst treatment in prison. Again, not embracing the issues or making fun of them, but genuinely touching on them as a social issue and moving on.

I didn't miss Gina at all, and I'm glad they didn't force in a C plot. It stuck to Jake as A plot, and Rosa/Holt/Terry as B plot. 

I'm moving on to the next episode, in anticipation as to what will happen to conclude the prison story.