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S01.E04: Meet the Parents

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6 hours ago, Major Bigtime said:

Does anyone besides me wish they'd filmed Danielle and Mo on "the morning after" with questions, like Jesse & Darcy? That was so incredibly awkward.

I feel like that's something one would watch, and then immediately take a Silkwood shower.

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57 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Awesome.  I love a good play on words, and this is one of the best I've seen in a while.

Credit to the queen of Fiveheads, Tyra Banks.

ETA: I'm rewatching the ep. when Darcy ''just woke up'' in bed with Jesse, eyeliner already on fleek, but her eyelashes looked pretty crusty.

Edited by Landlord
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5 minutes ago, Landlord said:

Credit to the queen of Fiveheads, Tyra Banks.

ETA: I'm rewatching the ep. when Darcy ''just woke up'' in bed with Jesse, eyeliner already on fleek, but her eyelashes looked pretty crusty.

Actress Leighton Meester is also a Fivehead. Any relation to Jesse? IDK.

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Courtney:

I have been in a long distance relationship with +10 hour time difference. We managed to video & audio call each other pretty fine. So, Courtney not being able to find the time & place to at least get a 5-minute video conference with the love of her life is simply ridiculous. Again, there are audio messages in Viber/Whatsapp. You don't need to call, you record them. How come they have never done that? I am not buying the story. She seems to be in love with an idea she created in her mind.

Paul The Explorer:

Am I the only one who questions if his girlfriend is really 21? She looks 16-17 to me, judging by her physical appearance, behaviour & room. Who buys stuffed toys for 21-year old? What is more intriguing is how did they manage to fall in love without being able to communicate properly? I am amazed. 

Jesse:

Are these his real parents? He is so controlled & disciplined & wooden, I assume he was adopted right after he signed the deal with TLC. 

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17 minutes ago, Grumpy Lobster said:

Courtney:

I have been in a long distance relationship with +10 hour time difference. We managed to video & audio call each other pretty fine. So, Courtney not being able to find the time & place to at least get a 5-minute video conference with the love of her life is simply ridiculous. Again, there are audio messages in Viber/Whatsapp. You don't need to call, you record them. How come they have never done that? I am not buying the story. She seems to be in love with an idea she created in her mind.

Paul The Explorer:

Am I the only one who questions if his girlfriend is really 21? She looks 16-17 to me, judging by her physical appearance, behaviour & room. Who buys stuffed toys for 21-year old? What is more intriguing is how did they manage to fall in love without being able to communicate properly? I am amazed. 

Jesse:

Are these his real parents? He is so controlled & disciplined & wooden, I assume he was adopted right after he signed the deal with TLC. 

Per Jesse, that was his mother but not his father.  That was his step-Dad.  I do not believe they've shown his father or really made much mention of him.  He was also in the military for a couple years so I am guessing that he may have gotten some of his discipline and control behaviors from that if not from his father as well.

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56 minutes ago, checker said:

Actress Leighton Meester is also a Fivehead. Any relation to Jesse? IDK.

''Her ancestry includes German, Dutch, English, Irish, Scottish, and Welsh'', from Leighton Meester's wiki page. So, mayhaps a cousin/distant cousin. Quick google search didn't give me a lot of results for people of that name, maybe 3 or 4.

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This dude Patrick was on a BET dating game show earlier this year called "The Game of Dating".  He's in episode 4 and met his date at a strip pole dancing class.  It seems to me that Patrick is more interesting in becoming a reality star than becoming a husband. 

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1 hour ago, Grumpy Lobster said:

Courtney:

I have been in a long distance relationship with +10 hour time difference. We managed to video & audio call each other pretty fine. So, Courtney not being able to find the time & place to at least get a 5-minute video conference with the love of her life is simply ridiculous. Again, there are audio messages in Viber/Whatsapp. You don't need to call, you record them. How come they have never done that? I am not buying the story. She seems to be in love with an idea she created in her mind.

Paul The Explorer:

Am I the only one who questions if his girlfriend is really 21? She looks 16-17 to me, judging by her physical appearance, behaviour & room. Who buys stuffed toys for 21-year old? What is more intriguing is how did they manage to fall in love without being able to communicate properly? I am amazed. 

Jesse:

Are these his real parents? He is so controlled & disciplined & wooden, I assume he was adopted right after he signed the deal with TLC. 

I think Courtney is TLC production driven. I saw some article and can't find it again.

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On 8/28/2017 at 2:47 PM, EastCoast4Life said:

You have more fillers and plastic in your face than most people.

Hell, Darcy has more fillers and plastic in her face than most Barbies. 

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Paul The Explorer:

This made me lol, I don't know why, but it did. He is so unequipped mentally for this journey. Sure, he has 4 foot lockers full of penis fish protectors, but he can't tell the driver in clear English that he needs to go to the "boatdock", let alone say anything in Portuguese. 

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14 minutes ago, EastCoast4Life said:

This made me lol, I don't know why, but it did. He is so unequipped mentally for this journey. Sure, he has 4 foot lockers full of penis fish protectors, but he can't tell the driver in clear English that he needs to go to the "boatdock", let alone say anything in Portuguese. 

Now I want to change my screenname to Penis Fish Protector.  Paul is reality TV gold.  About Darcy's fivehead, that happens after years of wearing weaves.

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29 minutes ago, EastCoast4Life said:

This made me lol, I don't know why, but it did. He is so unequipped mentally for this journey. Sure, he has 4 foot lockers full of penis fish protectors, but he can't tell the driver in clear English that he needs to go to the "boatdock", let alone say anything in Portuguese. 

Right? Did he think it would be more clear when he said to the driver "boot...daahhkah?" 

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14 hours ago, tv4sho said:

This dude Patrick was on a BET dating game show earlier this year called "The Game of Dating".  He's in episode 4 and met his date at a strip pole dancing class.  It seems to me that Patrick is more interesting in becoming a reality star than becoming a husband. 

Yep, same with Darcey. (Filmed a pilot for her own reality show.) Why doesn't tlc screen these ppl out, I wonder? They lose all credibility.

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Yep, same with Darcey. (Filmed a pilot for her own reality show.) Why doesn't tlc screen these ppl out, I wonder? They lose all credibility.

Tell me it was a Botched spinoff...

Darcey's hair extensions/weave could have it's own show. It's like they just cut off a horse's tail and slapped it on her head. 

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Paul is just a creepy little weirdo.  If I met this guy for the first time with his stupid grin while he wrapped his arm around my daughter like some gangly spider monkey I would have physically escorted him out the front door.

Is Darcey 42 or 22?  When stepdad is challenging you, you be an adult to put him in his place, not whine about it afterward to your bf like an insecure schoolgirl.

I like Patrick, will see how his story unfolds.

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On 8/28/2017 at 3:11 PM, Desert Rat said:

Interesting how different Jesse lives compared to his mom.  Jesse has the super small, but highly organized apartment, decorated all in white and grey.  Sterile and boring, like Jesse.  OTO, Mom's place is eclectic and fun, a fantastic assortment of colors and shapes and textures. It made me a bit dizzy, but I loved it.  

 

20 hours ago, Matias130 said:

Its really funn y how Jesse came to be the way he is with such an eccentric mom. Even the way he drives is super careful and following the rules - is this a dutch thing ? 

I used to date a guy very similar to Jesse - super tall, disciplined, very professional and serious. Yet his mother was a hippy bohemian free spirit artist. Maybe its a form of rebellion against their parents. 

It is interesting and I think there is some truth to this. I find it fascinating that he has used the word 'chaotic' at least 3 times in reference to Darcy - and it wasn't a compliment.  If they have been talking/skyping for months you can't tell me he wasn't somewhat aware that she was a bit on the flighty, materialistic side of things. Maybe he is both inexplicably drawn and put off by the Darcy's chaos due to his upbringing?

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Oh delicious badness. Where to begin?

Let me just dive in. Abby and liver lips. Thank the lucky stars they weren't on this week. He's being played like a fool, and if he thinks she cares about him, baby, I have a bridge to sell you! Regarding her other beau, when a 19/20 year old "dates" a 64 year old, I doubt it's for his banging body.

Paul is just plain creepy. In what alternate universe is a unicorn blanket, twin sized bed, stuffed animals, and cereal the makings of a romantic evening? The whole fuck, dude? I don't think she's 21. Are we even sure she's 18? Her room looked like it was stuck in a time warp from when she was a 12/13 year old. As I got older, my room in my parents home changed with me. He skeeves me TF out. Her parents should've shut down this hotel stay with the quickness. Then again, that just goes to show how much of a creep he is to even ask that. I would say it's editing, but let's be real. Whether he asked five minutes or five hours after arriving, it's still a no go, dude. How are they going to communicate if the battery dies? I just can't even. Sometimes it's too much stupid for me to consume.

Courtney. Good LAWD! This child is dense as they come. You're flying off to parts unknown to meet some "man" that you've never video chatted with, talked to on the phone, or anything else. You, my simple minded twit, are the making of another series of Taken movies. Only the victims walk right into the traps and don't have common sense. Her parents expressions were the best part of this. 

Darcey is nice--albeit desperate and more thirsty than a person walking through the Mojave at the peak of heat. I wanted to give her cases and cases of FIji water and hope it went quench that thirst. I'm of the mind that you can be trendy at any age, but you need to dress for your body type and not borrow stuff from your teenage daughters. Jesse is barely able to tolerate her. It's like a Mo/Dani thing where she's sufficient to get him to where he wants to be. His stepfather was a douche. I love his parents home. Very whimsical and quirky. I can vibe with the quirk. Darcey could tone down the marriage and babies talk. At least she isn't rude like his stepfather. On the flipside, Darcey might redeeming qualities that Jesse likes, but her insecurities, materialistic side, spending habits, and chaos might be the off-putting aspects. I think his controlled demeanour and discipline are a direct result of being in the armed forces. With a different hairstyle/side part with bangs, appropriate clothing, a new hair colour, and cutting back on the facial work, she would be fine as evidenced by the twin sister. It's very possible she did all that crap to her face after her divorce to feel better.

Patrick seems like a good father, and I like that he has a healthy, close relationship with the mother of his daughter. In a society, where co-parents do stupid photo shoots wearing shirts that say, "I hate her," with an arrow pointing to the mother and "I hate him" with an arrow pointing to the father with the child in the middle, it's a bit nice. Yes, this was a real life "family" photo shoot. (Re his stint on another reality show, I thought I recognised his face.) His girlfriend probably hasn't told her family about him. At least they have Facetimed, and he's not flying blindly talking about I feel this and I feel that. 

Where do they find these people?!

Edited by AussieBabe
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34 minutes ago, islandgal140 said:

 

It is interesting and I think there is some truth to this. I find it fascinating that he has used the word 'chaotic' at least 3 times in reference to Darcy - and it wasn't a compliment.  If they have been talking/skyping for months you can't tell me he wasn't somewhat aware that she was a bit on the flighty, materialistic side of things. Maybe he is both inexplicably drawn and put off by the Darcy's chaos due to his upbringing?

Its easy to hide the crazy for short periods of time. I do it every day. Darcy is out of her element and off her game. Jesse should shake up a Xanatini for her every morning 

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On 8/29/2017 at 9:00 PM, PamelaMaeSnap said:

I keep thinking Jesse's dad reminds me of Mark Hudson of the Hudson Brothers ... 3343.jpg

Looks like he vomited up a parrot

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21 hours ago, Kickboxer said:

Now I want to change my screenname to Penis Fish Protector.  Paul is reality TV gold.  About Darcy's fivehead, that happens after years of wearing weaves.

Oh yeah, let's not forget Tamar Braxton with the weave damage. She's the fivehead of all fiveheads in the world.....

Edited by bichonblitz
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I think Karine's dad commented that she was 21 and he couldn't tell her what to do.  So if by chance she's actually younger then the whole family is in on the scam. 

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On 8/27/2017 at 9:48 PM, Awfarmington said:

I'm so tired of Jesse saying the Dutch are straight forward. There is a difference between that and just being rude/hurtful.

It's true in some cases though. My company has an office in The Netherlands and the people are pretty hard to work with sometimes. Opinionated and stubborn and with an very inflated sense of  role -- classic tail wagging the dog scenario. They have never sugar coated a comment or opinion in their lives and don't 'get' the American 'social lubricant' that allows us all to work together in relative harmony 8 hours a day, 5 days a week.

Edited by ChiBurbsMama
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so are we looking at a build up to some sort criminal prospects for  some of these  pathetically  desperate Americans?Paul, for instance.  The absurdity of traveling to the Amazon to meet a  poor girl (and I mean poor as in impoverished)  with a language barrier so intense it seems like it would take decades and decades  for her  family to even begin to learn English,  and bringing her stuffed animals as if she were.....pedophile material?  And Dad the cop allowing his daughter to go to a hotel with this   fellow who screams filth and looks like one sick-o puppy?      And the other gal off to Spain, with the permission of her parents,  to meet a guy she's never talked to but has seen in porn photos online?   And then the hopeless and hapless Darcy and the guy, what.....30 years her junior and the whacko step dad who is nonethehess the only one to speak truth and suggest this whole thing is nuts.

I'm all for a whacky crazy stupid reality show..... but so far this is beginning to   seem like witnessing  crimes-in-the making.    If the wincing gets too frequent, I'm out. 

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On 8/28/2017 at 10:35 AM, PinkFlamingo said:

Karine's parents facial expressions when they were being asked if Karine could immediately go to a hotel with Paul almost looked like they were announcing that she had a terminal illness or something. Sadness and resignation. 

Darcy- if a guy that looks like he was kicked out of some crazy cult because HIS views were too extreme for them says you are f-ing out of your mind, it's time to rethink your life decisions. 

This time around most of the couples are so cringeworthy (some even at skin crawling levels) and hard to watch that I hope the catfish ends up being as horrible as we expect for some comic relief.  My money is on us not even seeing him or her in the next episode.  TLC will keep everyone hanging on for the big reveal.

My thoughts are how are they going to do the Tell All? Have the American in the studio and skype the rest of the guests?  I can't see cheap TLC actually flying in the other halves from all over the world.  

On 8/28/2017 at 11:15 PM, Eme said:

Paul and Karina need a Translator STAT!  And that Translator needs to be with them all the time -- so that he can have a 'conversation' with her parents.  I couldn't help thinking that her riding in the back of the truck - much less going with him to his hotel -- were going to RUIN her reputation forever in that small town. Who Does That?  He is oblivious of her culture.  His asking for her to go with him to his hotel was just so jarring.  I felt like her parents were giving him permission to Marry Her or at least Take Responsibility for her at some level.  Maybe that is why she expected intimacy with him that night -- a Honeymoon of sorts?  Confusing but nothing that a TRANSLATOR couldn't have cleared up. Sheesh!

Once I saw Mother Jesse, everything clicked into place. Why Jesse would even give Darcy the time of day.....why he may be moving the relationship forward even though her extreme thirst is a big turnoff to him.  I said it before but it bears repeating.....Darcy should have checked into a hotel first thing....gotten some beauty sleep....walked around a bit on her own (at least down the block from the hotel) to check out the effect of the cobblestone on her high heels....and then met up with Jesse after being refreshed.  Him taking her on a bike ride and then riding ahead was jerky behavior.  He does not appear to be into her and his constant complaints about her thirst are sad because he needs to have these conversations with HER, not the camera.  Step-Dad Jesse was rude, but he made cogent points....Clearly Jesse thinks he's All That...so. other than her looking like his Mom's Sister...why does he want to have a relationship with Darcy?  BTW, thanks Step-Dad Jesse for not having this conversation in private but sharing it with all of us out here in teeveeland....

Paul is a goober.  The money he spent on the junk and the hotel he could have just stayed at Karmin's parent's home and got a translator to come for 5-8 hours during the day.

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35 minutes ago, greekmom said:

Karine's parents facial expressions when they were being asked if Karine could immediately go to a hotel with Paul almost looked like they were announcing that she had a terminal illness or something. Sadness and resignation. 

Darcy- if a guy that looks like he was kicked out of some crazy cult because HIS views were too extreme for them says you are f-ing out of your mind, it's time to rethink your life decisions. 

OMG, Greekmom, you are too funny!  You are right about Karine's parents, I think the reality of their daughter selling themselves out to the highest bidder is weighing heavy on them.  They realize this is the best way for her to have a life elsewhere...what an awful predicament. 

Jesse looks extreme, I bet his clients are in excellent shape out of fear!

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On 8/29/2017 at 5:47 PM, Landlord said:

Some bangs would do wonders for Darcey's face. Whenever they showed her, I could not pay attention to dialogue, because of her fivehead. It was so distracting. 

The heels are of no help, When she walks beside Jesse, she's so short it looks like a dude helping his grandma cross the street. She almost os larger than she is tall in some frames/some clothes. 

That hair of hers is too dark.  Extensions apparent.  Ages her.  

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I think Darcey seems nice enough but so insecure which I find sad in a 42 year old accomplished woman.  She has a career, a nice house, great daughters, friends and family.  I think Darcey seems more "normal" then the others who go overseas for someone half their age.  I would think in the US she would have a lot of dating options and if she didn't talk about marriage so much I would think she was in this for a bit of middle-aged fun with a hot millennial.  I am 43 and I think a young guy would be fun for a good time but for marriage?  I just don't see the appeal unless the guy has more depth than just being fit, which Jesse doesn't seem to have thus far.

I am rewatching the first show and I didn't know Darcey had a twin!  Now I can see what Darcey would look like with less Botox/fillers (not really less makeup or hair, her sister has fake lashes and extensions too).  She would look a lot better if she just held off on the next treatment and let a little natural wrinkle come back and cut the hair but then I dislike super long hair even natural (my sister has that super long hair and it ages her but I don't tell her as she would get mad).  

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On 8/30/2017 at 11:40 AM, balisticnikki said:

Yep, same with Darcey. (Filmed a pilot for her own reality show.) Why doesn't tlc screen these ppl out, I wonder? They lose all credibility.

I've been wondering if she's a reality veteran -- she looks way too familiar to me.

Jesse is ugly to me.  Bad skin, overly landscaped eyebrows, weird hair and a forehead full of as much botox as Darcy.  He looks older than his age to me.  And he has absolutely no personality.  HIs "babe" endearment feels so serial killerish.

Paul is basically Norman Bates.  Sick, sick man.

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On 8/28/2017 at 0:13 PM, kendi said:

Paul is just skeevy. And holding on to a lock of his mama's hair. 

Not even a "lock," more something she grabbed from the wastebasket and wrapped (lovingly) in a wad of Kleenex.

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3 hours ago, Former Nun said:

Not even a "lock," more something she grabbed from the wastebasket and wrapped (lovingly) in a wad of Kleenex.

I was thinking she grabbed it out of the drain.

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52 minutes ago, Major Bigtime said:

I was thinking she grabbed it out of the drain.

WHY...oh, WHY can't we give, "I cracked up at this one!" reviews?   Major Bigtime, you are hilarious...big time!

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I wonder if there is some sort of back story with the hair that they edited out to make pathetic Paul and his mother look weird.  Perhaps Karine asked for it to use in some sort of ritual/tradition?

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On 8/28/2017 at 3:18 AM, SleepyAndClumsy said:

I can't help but feel sorry for Darcey. She is so needy that she puts up with really horrible treatment from someone who seems like a sociopath to me. He is constantly trying to make her feel bad about herself, and seemed gleeful when she mentioned Dave's insult. He even said that he thought the evening 'was delightful,' or somesuch. 

He is a creeper, plus he's not even all that! His skin is terribly acne-scarred. And his apartment is tinier that Pedro and Chantel's! ?

And he'll be bald inside of five years.  It is glaringly obvious that Jesse has not even an ounce of affection for Darcey.  He's approaching this visit like someone doing the very minimum to stay in the game.   I can't figure out what his motive is yet -- to come to America, or to get TV exposure, or both.   I don't believe they had sex.  

Darcey dresses like an aging Long Island whore.  That choker looked like it was biting into her micro-neck. 

Paul makes me wonder exactly what this show is facilitating.   It's not unreasonable to wonder whether the men seeking to bring just-past-pubescent brides from foreign countries are trying to satisfy pedophilic urges, and the scene in this episode, with Paul stopping just short of throwing Karine a "My Little Pony"-themed birthday party, seems to justify such misgivings.  Not only that, his eyebrows are really fucked up and his fingernails are filthy.  Asking the parents if he can bring Karine to a hotel demonstrates how out of touch with reality he is.   I think the only reason they agreed is because they're hoping to eventually follow Karine to the U.S.

Is Patrick blind?   There's a beautiful woman right before his eyes, who just happens to be the mother of his child and from all appearances likes him and cares about him very much.   Men are so stupid. 

Edited by millennium
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On 8/29/2017 at 10:30 PM, guilfoyleatpp said:

 I felt that Jesse's step dad was envious of him with the comment about the panties being thrown at him. 

See, I don't.  I think he was throwing shade at 40+ year old Darcey, acting like she was meeting her future in laws as if she was 20.  She is their contemporary, act like it!!

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On 9/13/2017 at 7:00 AM, AZChristian said:

Wait - didn't she say it came out of her hairbrush????

You're right.  She did...but that fact isn't 1/100 as funny as Major Bigtime's, "I was thinking she grabbed it out of the drain."

On 9/13/2017 at 4:53 PM, millennium said:

That choker looked like it was biting into her micro-neck. 

Yeah, what's she smuggling under those fabulous neckorations?

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