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OnceSane

S04.E02: Week 1, Night 2

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Season 3 alumni Carly and Evan tie the knot in Paradise; the cast tries to regain momentum following a production lapse; a woman is disappointed by a date card going to someone she thinks doesn't need it.

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And yeah, the first hour was wedding stuff. Recaps of past weddings (they left out the train montage they played after Sean/Catherine's wedding) and the wedding itself. Ashley I ... OMG, "grotesque."

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They walk around with drinks 24.7. No wonder DeMario and loopy Corinne got so very drunk, 

 

Can we get on with the show

Edited by Hello Lady
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18 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Raven's trying to cover her ass because she was the one who said DeMario can go and didn't want him there last night.

Yeah she can STFU any time now.

My gawd, what the hell is this? Chris giving 15 year olds sex education class?  

Taylor can STFU too with that annoying voice. I think she was supposed to be some kind of mental health counselor or something?  That voice would drive anybody crazy.

Edited by Ohwell
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Right Taylor, production is not forcing them to act stupid, they naturally are. BiP is not a bunch of fame whores going wild, it's not an older version of spring break. Just in case we don't get that the franchise is about finding true love,  they paraded past success stories for our benefit. 

Seriously, this is tedious and a waste of time. 

Edited by dizzyd
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Harrison must be a father figure to Dean given that Dean spent most of CH's lecture to the class laying down. Wow, disrespectful much, Dean? And who the heck is Derek? Where'd he come from?

i meant Dean laying down during CH's lecture referenced his laying down at his dad's house after that terrible HT date with Rachel.

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I wanted Dean to be the next Bachelor before he appeared on BIP, but now I'm assuming he won't be and I'm glad because he seems like a smiling doofus.

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Jesus H....is this an after school special??  How many bonuses were handed out to these people for kissing abc's/productions ass?!  I watch this show for silly debauchery...not half assed PSA's.

The wedding was cheap looking. Poor Jade being hugely pregnant in that Mexican heat and humidity must not have been pleasant. Ashley looked like an evil stepsister. Her face is so botoxed she can't even cry properly. Even so, I'm glad those two weirdos found each other though. It was actually really sweet.  

Edited by mostlylurking
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That right alexa, I forgot about them. What did Des and Chris do to make TPTB mad? I like both of them, and liked her season. Never heard anything bad about them, but I'm not "in the loop." I liked Diggy on Rachel's season. Still waiting to hear him say anything or do anything in BIP. So far he's getting the same non-edit he got on The B-ette.

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I know Danielle can't help it but she has really tired, sleepy-looking eyes that make her look like she could drift off to sleep in the middle of a conversation.

Matt didn't get much air time on the Bachelorette but he's no slouch.  Jasmine is trying too hard though.

Edited by Ohwell
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1 minute ago, Hello Lady said:

I;m nearly falling asleep, tres boring..zzzz

Me too. At least it's almost over for the night. 

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7 minutes ago, Jaded said:

Me too. At least it's almost over for the night. 

All those tears, good heavens,  even Dean joins in 

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Best part of the show: The previews. Otherwise, this episode: Big snore. Thank you Judy for pointing out making fun of how tall Alex is is NOT funny. Make fun of a guy for being a dick, not something he can't help. There are plenty of dicks on this show to make fun of. I'm starting to see why Dean can't possibly be the next Bach, so thank you BIP for that insight.

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9 minutes ago, Hello Lady said:

Taylor, take me...is that her go to line?

That and her talk about men who build fires and wanting to be carried off into the woods.  We don't usually tell our fantasies out loud, Taylor!  At least Derek seems charmed by it all and I'm charmed by him being charmed so it's all good for me.  Besides as long as he's kissing her she can't talk. 

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1 minute ago, JudyObscure said:

That and her talk about men who build fires and wanting to be carried off into the woods.  We don't usually tell our fantasies out loud, Taylor!  At least Derek seems charmed by it all and I'm charmed by him being charmed so it's all good for me.  Besides as long as he's kissing her she can't talk. 

LOL, true! they do seem the most normal ( so far) 

 

Night ladies..:)

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ABC didn't have the rights to Dez & Chris's wedding, so they can't air footage.  So that's probably also why they didn't talk about them. 

That Jasmine is one rough customer.  She's coming off as very needy and potentially very nasty. 

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When Dean and Katrina first met and were talking about how perfect they  were together because they both had terrible childhoods, I was saying, "No, no!"  Damaged people need secure, grounded partners. There they were, each accusing the other of being closed off and Kristina saying he doesn't put her first.  Gah, I felt sad for both of them.

Edited by JudyObscure
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I don't understand how this show can make fun of itself while simultaneously taking itself so very seriously. Do they really think they taught us an important lesson tonight? They think they can show clips of crabs, use circus music to signal us when a date isn't going well, and CH running up the beach in a suit Bay Watch Style and then sit us down and have a serious conversation about consent and race? I feel like I need a shower now and not for the "right reasons."

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This was a mix of disappointing and boring. That lecture was just so so long. 

Jasmine is so desperate and clingy. I started to feel like a FreeMatt campaign needed to happen. Yeesh 

I don't remember Lacey from Nicks season but seems like a sad sack.

Carlys eyebrows are still so tragic. 

Edited by TiredMe
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Evan still gives me the creeps and I think Carly settled. I noticed her brother Zack (who was a contestant on Des's Bachelorette season) wasn't there - payback for Carly skipping his wedding in favor of her first BIP go-around?

Hated the "very special sit-down"; could CH have been more patronizing?

Oh, Jasmine. Looks like Matt cooled off on her during the break, and she didn't help matters by being clingy and possessive. She should have paid some attention to one of the other guys, made Matt sweat about the rose a little.

So Dean went to Kristina's hometown during the break and took a road trip with her, but back in Paradise he's acting ambivalent. Talk about mixed signals. When he told Kristina to date other dudes, she should have taken him at his word.

I know Alex can't help his height, but Amanda's quip about not wanting another tiny person to follow her around was hilarious. Who knew she had that kind of wit in her?

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Dean was taking Josh's place as The Most Sweaty Guy. Anyone see the back of his shirt during his "dramah" with Kristina? As for the mixed messages, being serious (CH lecture) vs. comedy editing, I think this show knows what it is, even though some of us take it seriously. So ... it's something for EVERYONE!

I thought the Carly/Evan wedding was touching, and I even teared up a little. Then I thought about last season BIP and how gross those two were and I wanted to vomit just a little. Talk about mixed messages!

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1 hour ago, Armchair Critic said:

Raven's trying to cover her ass because she was the one who said DeMario can go and didn't want him there last night.

 

1 hour ago, Ohwell said:

Yeah she can STFU any time now.

I remember Raven telling DeMario that on the first show. But my impression was she was telling him that because she didn't like the way he treated Rachel and his obvious deceit about the other woman. That doesn't mean because she thought he was a douchebag on Rachel's season that she doesn't believe he was treated unfairly or did anything wrong on the Corrine fiasco. Did I miss something??

I've had a few situations in my life where just because I didn't like someone that it meant I couldn't agree when they were being treated unfairly.

25 minutes ago, TiredMe said:

That lecture was just so so long. 

Yeah after a few minutes of that I told my daughter, "this is like a high school lecture". Yeah ABC was trying to cover all the bases and didn't want to appear at fault.

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Actually when Amanda said that Line about Alex being a Third child that follows her around , my first thought was .. when do your kids ever get a chance to follow u around ? You're always leaving them . 

 

And yea des and chris are always forgotten about which is weird because usually the bachelor will do anything to flaunt the few couples that actually came from the show . 

 

And taylors voice is very annoying followed closely by Carly's voice and eyebrows. 

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Which one of the dudes was it that said "the producers are our friends!" during the very special, let's talk about what happened sit-down?  That was the funniest thing I heard. Otherwise, it was really boring television.

I thought Carly looked really cute for her wedding, and I like her. Evan, however, is just so weird. 

When do we get Wells as the Bachelor? So much better than The Peter.

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OMG!  Almost an hour for the stupid wedding?  I don't give a shit.  How many millions of seasons have they had and they can only come up with like 4 marriages?  I do agree that the Trista/Ryan marriage was good and I liked how when Trista wanted to go all Hollywood Ryan stood his ground and said this is who he was and she wanted it so sit down.

So I went back to night 1 and listened to the podcast.  So no one has any idea of what really happened then?  From viewing night 1 it would seem, to me anyways, that the incident happened on the first night and yet 2 or 3 days later is when the shit hit the fan?

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38 minutes ago, TheFinalRose said:

Which one of the dudes was it that said "the producers are our friends!" during the very special, let's talk about what happened sit-down?  That was the funniest thing I heard. Otherwise, it was really boring television.

I thought Carly looked really cute for her wedding, and I like her. Evan, however, is just so weird. 

When do we get Wells as the Bachelor? So much better than The Peter.

Agreed , wells is hot and has personality ..wells for bachelor ! 

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I kinda like those crazy kids, good for them for finding each other. But I could have done with more footage of the restarted session less of Carly & Evan (and having to see Miss Makeup Suitcase again!) and wayyyyyyy less of the Very Special Conversation.

Then just when I think were clear we witness the biggest waste of a date card evar and I have to deal with Taylor as the majority of 'new footage'? That was a real tragedy. I can't stand her and her voice and mannerisms on her THs are like nails on a chalkboard for me. If they're going to be The Big Couple I am going to be using my ff a lot.

Interesting that Dean has become the opposite of Rachel's Bryan. Dean seems to always say the wrong thing while so many called Bryan out on having a "perfect" line/statement at any particular time (and so seemed disingenuous in the process). You never say it would be just fine by you if your love-interest dates other guys. The hell are you thinking? Either he's reallly dense/damaged or he's got 10ft tall walls with hot oil ready to pour out at any sign of commitment/sharing anything real of himself.

Bring on Daniel!

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26 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Agreed , wells is hot and has personality ..wells for bachelor ! 

Hey. Maybe that is why he was chosen for the bartender.  For us to get to know him again, a refresher. I am down with that.

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