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S01.E02: Going the Distance

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Sean lands in Haiti to potentially meet his love, Abby; Paul embarks on a two-day boat trip down the Amazon hoping that Karine will actually show up; Darcey encounters airport mishaps in Amsterdam.

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I find Darcy's hairline to be very distracting. I have no sympathy for her getting her heel caught in the escalator. She dressed very impractically for a flight.

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Although I will treasure the scenes of Paul and his lockers (he brought venom extractor!) is there some reason he couldn't pay to have her come to a major city in Brazil? 

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Maybe Paul should have spent his time learning Portuguese instead of shopping for foot lockers and cereal 

Jesse's eyebrows are too perfect for a straight man. 

Darcy is fake. Fake hair, fake nails, fake tan, fake pictures. 

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Paul is freaking out about bugs in the cab and puts his wittle protective hat on.    

He gives me the creeps.  So does the other guy.

Darcy, eh the fillers got to her brain.

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Paul saying "boat dock" in an accent over and over again to the taxi driver ? I'm pretty sure the guy doesn't understand what you are saying. 

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I'm trying to figure out if Abby is sincere or one of the better actresses we've had in the franchise.

i don't like Jesse. He's too smooth. But hey he bought extra toilet paper which is the way to every woman's heart.

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1 minute ago, Hero said:

Paul saying "boat dock" in an accent over and over again to the taxi driver ? I'm pretty sure the guy doesn't understand what you are saying. 

He knew he was going to have to take a taxi to the boat dock. Would it have been too much trouble to look up the Portuguese words for boat dock before he came so he could tell the taxi driver where to go? God he is annoying. 

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1 minute ago, poeticlicensed said:

He knew he was going to have to take a taxi to the boat dock. Would it have been too much trouble to look up the Portuguese words for boat dock before he came so he could tell the taxi driver where to go? God he is annoying. 

This is the same guy who couldn't learn any Portuguese in the months he's been talking to this girl.

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Just now, Miss Chevious said:

Jesse seems like he's got an ulterior motive. Like a modeling career in the States. Darcey may be just the means to an end. 

Apparently darcy and her sister have a fashion line. Just saying .....

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Yeah, they're both pretending. Darcey's pretending to be young and Jesse pretending that he likes her. 

And both Jesse and his drinking buddies are beyond delusional imagining a pregnancy scenario.

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3 minutes ago, Cherrio said:

I am not sure I can watch another episode.  

Gross, these two guys.  Literally making me sick.

They're all a chore to watch. Darcy looks like she's been rode hard and put up wet. Sean is a pervy dirty old man. Paul is just a freak, afraid of his own shadow.

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Why was Sean wearing a sweater in Haiti ? I think Abby is holding out for the best offer. 

So Paul has never been outside the US , and he chooses the Amazon for his first trip. Not smart. I'm guessing Paul's secret is much like Jorge's . 

Darcy I get. She wants a hot guy to bang. She isn't going to find that in Connecticut. But Sean and Paul? They say they just want nice women. Sean likes brown women? Are there non in Ohio? I lived in Cleveland and I don't see a problem. And Paul? Yeah I get hes a dork, but there are female version of Paul in Kentucky. Why travel halfway across the world. 

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Guest

The sniffing dogs were hilarious! I can laugh because every Disney cruise I've been on, I have received the dog stickers on my luggage letting me know that the dogs were all over them.  Really, how many grey haired,  overweight, mothers of teenagers are smuggling drugs onto a Disney cruise?

I assume they're sniffing the sweetest little kitty rubbings in the world. 

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Darcy. Its an escalator not an elevator. The stiletto heels are engineered for very thin women. Your body type on that small heel is going to punch holes in a carpet. Jesse has lovely manners. 

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Anybody else think Paul might be mentally challenged? He just seems so awkward and afraid of everything. If you're a germaphobe the Amazon is not a place to go to. 

Abby needs to get the two old farts names straight. In her TH she said Chris' name instead of Sean's. 

Darcey needs to knock off the Botox, she looks older than 42. If Jesse if such a gift to women why did he have to go online and choose a cougar? Somethings off with this guy. 

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1 minute ago, Straycat80 said:

 If Jesse if such a gift to women why did he have to go online and choose a cougar? Somethings off with this guy. 

Because he wanted something more substantial like those fake pictures of an attractive person Darcy sent.  I want to know what Jesse really thought.  First I thought Darcy was being catfished now I'm not so sure.

Sean walking up to Abby, and I'm being completely honest with my response out loud with my dogs staring at me "eww eww...eww eww eww."  She's a baby. I'm sure probably more mature than both Chris and Sean but still.

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Sounds like Jesse has a pheromone fetish. So far he seemed to like what he could sniff, but he's sniffing the been on a plane for several hours person.  Of course, most people like their prospective mate or partner to smell nice, but is he looking for a particular scent? I found that odd. A long way to ask someone to come to meet you just so you can have a sniffand it be the wrong pheromone. But then Napoleons would tell Josephine not to bathe because he'd be home in 3 weeks. Takes all kinds to make a world. 

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1 hour ago, spankydoll said:

Darcy. Its an escalator not an elevator. The stiletto heels are engineered for very thin women. Your body type on that small heel is going to punch holes in a carpet. Jesse has lovely manners. 

Actually I think Darcy just doesn't know how to walk in heels and the escalator was a bit of bad luck. Body weight or shape doesn't matter - anyone who wants to can wear stilettos. But it's vitally important to keep your weight on the balls of your feet. This is true when wearing any heels but especially stilettos because that little twig of a heel isn't meant as a load bearing beam. Any pressure on it and it will wobble no matter who is wearing it. 

Then you have to keep your shoulders back to offset walking on the balls of your feet so you're not lurching forward. Tuck the tailbone, tilt the pelvis. It takes practice. 

I was really hoping those were fake Louboutins that got mangled by the escalator, but perhaps not...

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2 hours ago, kacesq said:

I'm trying to figure out if Abby is sincere or one of the better actresses we've had in the franchise.

i don't like Jesse. He's too smooth. But hey he bought extra toilet paper which is the way to every woman's heart.

What's Jesse's story?  Does we want a green card?  Why does he want to immigrate to the U.S.? Why Darsy?  She's old, fake, broke.  Is Jesse looking for tv exposure?

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2 hours ago, Godfrey said:

Boa noite! (Portugeuse for good night) Now we all know more than Paul.

Dude.  Love, Actually taught me that!  

WHY can't people do some Googling before they travel?  Am I insane?  Planning out my vacations, especially if I'm travelling aboard.  Learning key phrases and customs, so I can be a good traveler.  Clearly, I've been wasting my time.  

Jesse walking through the accommodations he has made to this apartment for Cougar Chick were hilarious (re: toilet paper "I don't know how much she uses"), weird ("they didn't smell right...the pheromones" and 90 bottles of cologne), and sort of endearing.  

Paul and all of his luggage was fairly hysterical with the airport comedy and the drug dogs.  Seriously, though.  What the HELL is worth a 2 hours boat trip up the Amazon and being in a country where you have no idea how to communicate?

I'm a firm believer in letting other people live their lives without judgement.  2 consenting adults means that it isn't any of my business.  I say all of that to say...Sean and Abby totally and completed grossed me out.  It's so skeevy.  Something feels very wrong.  It isn't even the age thing b/c I like my guys older too (starting when I was 5 and fell in love with Ralph Tresvant and at 6, I had a serious thing for Jordan Knight...heh).  Sean creeps me out.

Edited by TrininisaScorp
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Abbey....girl....I know you wanna get to America and I am not saying give up that dream, but this dude is creepy as fuck. Just watching him kiss her in the cab was enough to make me shiver and cringe. I don't know, maybe she IS attracted to him and DOES want to be with him, there's a lid for every pot and no accounting for taste but....no matter how good an actress she is when she's with him, I just don't buy it.

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Wow. I Was only going to watch maybe the first 10 minutes or so before I got ready for bed, but I could  NOT stop watching. I was hooked! Hello next guilty pleasure?

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4 minutes ago, rideashire said:

Abbey....girl....I know you wanna get to America and I am not saying give up that dream, but this dude is creepy as fuck. Just watching him kiss her in the cab was enough to make me shiver and cringe. I don't know, maybe she IS attracted to him and DOES want to be with him, there's a lid for every pot and no accounting for taste but....no matter how good an actress she is when she's with him, I just don't buy it.

Abbey is a beautiful girl, smart, articulate.  I understand that she wants to leave Haiti asap.  But can't she find a better American guy online?  Or are Sean and Chris the best the online scene has to offer to poor Haitian girls?

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3 hours ago, Godfrey said:

Paul is a weirdo but so is his mommy, so he comes by it honestly.

Idk why my heart goes out to him ?I'm really rooting for him and hope he finds happiness. Also, His mother does seem a little unique, but I find people like that interesting to watch. 

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I had a mental image of Paul and his 27 pieces of luggage weighing down a speedboat with a native guide traveling up the Amazon. I had no idea they had big ferries to travel on. You learn something new every day!

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