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S01.E01: Bon Voyage!

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TLC, you have outdone yourself.! 

I never thought so many weird/strange losers could exist in this world!

And even the excitement of a possible penis invasion by a fish (not to mention testicle eating piranhas) 

Makes Danielle & Moho tale downright BORING. 

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Omg this Darcy chick is gonna be a hoot! She just screams desperate!  She looks freaking ridiculous no one gets on a plane wearing 3 Chanel bags. So I'm going to assume they are fake. She looks like she ran out of clothes and had to find something in her teenage daughters closet. She reminds of the mother on mean girls"  "I'm not a regular mom,I'm a cool mom!"

 

I don't buy the BS  excuse of her wanting a "good stepfather" for her daughters,they have their real father who is in their life. You just want to have sex with a young guy,don't lie a bout it. 

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That fucking guy who bought $2,500 in women's panties has to be in some fuckin pedophile ring or something. That's too creepy to be normal.

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I think I was the most touched during the preview moment of poor little Paul from Louisville, with his 700 pounds of luggage, sitting quite alone on a curb somewhere up the Amazon, saying "What if she doesn't show up?  I'm all alone here and I have no one to help me" -    (Except my camera man and the sound guy, and the inevitable team of producers..  except for them ..)   Pobrecito.   

This is embarrassing, but of course I'm entirely hooked for the next several weeks.   Did they say (I could be wrong) that there are six couples involved in this series?  So possibly next week will just be introducing the other three, and it's a two-week wait til these poor schnooks arrive at their respective airports?  That's cruel.  And embarrassing.  

But you all seem an intelligent lot, so I'm glad you are stuck on it too and I'm not alone in this tawdry mess.  

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39 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

Darcy CT is 3,500 miles from Amsterdam you are not from opposite sides of the world. 

Yes it's probably a 7 hour flight from NYC  and going to europe isn't exactly like visiting a 3rd world country. It's westernized and just about everyone speaks English. Dorky Paul is the one in for a culture shock. 

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7 hours ago, sleepyjean said:

 I suspect Darcey is one of those people who justify a lot of their behavior as parents by saying crap like "the best thing I can do for my kids is to give them a happy healthy mother." In other words, what makes mom happy is what's best for the the children.

This is very trendy now, it's a love yourself philosophy. There are lots of programs pushing it. I've had friends(?) try to get me to sign up for their respective courses.

Loved the earlier comment about there being no black women in the US. I'd quote you, but I can't find it now.

Edited by Swim mom
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3 minutes ago, Swim mom said:

This is very trendy now, it's a love yourself philosophy. There are lots of programs pushing it. I've had friends(?) try to get me to sign up for their respective courses.

Loved the earlier comment about there being no black women in the US. I'd quote you, but I can't find it now.

I've heard that often and have to disagree. Once you become a parent, there are many times NOT putting yourself first (making yourself happy) is best for the kids. There are many things that would make me feel happy, but I don't buy/do them because funds are put into kids braces, school tuition, and time is invested into kids activities, appts, etc. Me telling my kid with an overbite that mom is using orthodontia money to get liposuction will be better for him since it'll make me happy, makes no sense. Same thing with Darcy flying to Europe for 6 weeks, saying she has her kids best interest. Just admit she found a boy toy that makes HER feel good. It'll be a repeat of Danielle and Mo...the girls will be forced to hear all about the problems that will certainly ensue. 

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25 minutes ago, Awfarmington said:

I've heard that often and have to disagree. 

You completely misunderstood me. Perhaps my tone wasn't snarky enough when I said friends (?) were pushing it.

Edited by Swim mom
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I missed the first few minutes because TLC pulled the old switcheroo, but I went back and watched Darcy's segment again. WTF, she looks nothing like the profile picture she posted. Holy crap, I am just praying there's an airport scene with her meeting up with whatever his name is for the first time. 

Edited by poeticlicensed
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Why does CT chick (can't remember her name) need to go away for 6 weeks?  Why can't he come visit for a week, like Europeans do all the time?  They can do this repeatedly until they determine if they have a relationship or it was all physical.   I understand the Brazilian coming to visit Paul would be near impossible.  I have no idea about Haitian travel limitations.  But certainly the Dutch man.  

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9 minutes ago, Swim mom said:

You completely misunderstood me. Perhaps my tone wasn't snarky enough when I said friends (?) were pushing it.

I didn't misunderstand. I was referring to the new trend of 'doing what makes you happy comes first', my take was that you did NOT agree with it either ?

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4 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I think I emitted a small scream at that moment. WTF?? it wasn't even a lock of hair she cut and tied with a ribbon for Chrissakes (which would be weird enough--he's your son, not your eighth grade boyfriend, or Mr. Rochester), it was the detritus from her goddamn comb! Seriously, this is wack. Between the full body mobile mosquito net and the hair, I have to lie down.

LOL'ing very hard!

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13 hours ago, poeticlicensed said:

So he basically has to slog through the jungle  for days but his girlfriend has internet? I don't get it. 

And just like Dani, the woman with the Dutch boy toy says she is doing it for her kids. Yeah right.

How desperate do you have to be to make that much effort to meet someone who is probably a con artist.  The health risk alone is insane.

Yeah, Darcey is just as disillusioned at Dani.  And I don't think her daughters "need" a 24 year old step-dad.  Does this guy even know that Darcey is 42 and has 2 kids (and lives with her sister)?  Doesn't she get that IF this guy comes over here (and looks like his picture) that he will have all kinds of opportunities here (besides her) once he gets his green card.  Darcey meet Dani and don't think you have anything on her because you are just as disillusioned.

And the other dude.  What makes you think your girl is going to dump her sugar daddy for you? She's just adding on.

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even know that Darcey is 42 

Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Nobody "knows" that Darcey is 42.  Come on, PTV super sleuths. Someone must have found online evidence of her true age by now.  

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1 hour ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Paul is going to the tiny, super isolated and remote village of Tonantins, Amazonas, Brazil.

Google Map it... it's insane!

To paraphrase Truman from The Truman Show:

Quote

You don't get much farther away from "civilization" before you start coming back.

Wow! What would make him think that some young woman who lives in a place that remote would be interested in him? It makes me wonder if she's ever even really, actually been to a city. If she hasn't, she'll either love it or it'll send her running for her home in Brazil like she was shot from a cannon.

We haven't gotten to watch this yet (it records after I need to be asleep), but I'm anxious to get home and turn this on today.

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12 hours ago, Miss Chevious said:

I think Darcey's hot honey in Amsterdam is going to be disappointed when he sees her looks in real life don't match up with the pics she sent him. I can't wait to see the WTF expression on his face when he first lays eyes on her.

I wonder if he has seen a pic of her now - not 20 years ago. She has had too much filler and plastic. Her sister looks better than she does. Unless he wants a Sugar Mamma he will run!!

33 minutes ago, SoshulMeedya said:

Did you notice in the Skype, Corina (Paul's Amazonian love) was dancing in front of a flat screen tv? It looked like a different house than the squalid bedroom they showed for her. It's painfully obvious to me, when these young girls are sending sexy bikini pics to nerds and geezers what their agenda is. $$$$$

YES!!! Where was that?? She told him she lived in a hut and shared a room with her Sister??? He said he paid/helped them get Internet- how did he meet her on a dating app then???

I cant believe his Mother gave him a tissue with her hair!! Creepy!! This boy( he is NOT a man) will be hurt and used.

2 hours ago, Granny58 said:
2 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I think I emitted a small scream at that moment. WTF?? it wasn't even a lock of hair she cut and tied with a ribbon for Chrissakes (which would be weird enough--he's your son, not your eighth grade boyfriend, or Mr. Rochester), it was the detritus from her goddamn comb! Seriously, this is wack. Between the full body mobile mosquito net and the hair, I have to lie down.

LOL'ing very hard!

That made me need more wine!!

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3 minutes ago, booboopbedoo said:

I wonder if he has seen a pic of her now - not 20 years ago. She has had too much filler and plastic. Her sister looks better than she does. Unless he wants a Sugar Mamma he will run!!

I'm thinking it would be a hoot if his pics were also 20 yrs earlier......she goes and instead of meeting this 'hunk', out comes someone looking like Gary Bussey .........

BTW, those pics look like something out of a gay-porn magazine. 

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11 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

Yes, Euro men have different views and styles, but looking at those photos all I saw and thought was he looked like a dude out of gay for pay porn. 

THose poses are VERY Gay Porn!

16 hours ago, Samurai X said:

I don't why watching Paul made me sad.

Me too. Probably was bullied in school and slept in the same bed as Mom til he was 18. She knitted him socks and sweaters with her hair and bathed him.

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I wonder if Darcey still stays in the Netherlands for 6 weeks if/when she finds out that the dude is catfishing her. In the preview they intentionally didn't show his face/body when he was supposedly sitting next to her. Darcey was also shown crying. There is no way that he is who he says that he is.

Edited by Deni
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2 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Paul is going to the tiny, super isolated and remote village of Tonantins, Amazonas, Brazil.

Google Map it... it's insane!

Several seasons of "Survivor" were filmed in Tonantins.  It's located in the nether regions of Brazil; accessible only by small planes and boats.  I can't wait to see how Paul is going to get there.  

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23 minutes ago, hawkhd said:

Buckle up, folks, it's going to be a bumpy ride! Peehole parasites... I've heard it all now.

Oh they're real alright, I will never swim or bathe in a South American river, lol.

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Someone on another site heard the hair issue as hair from the dog. Did anyone here hear it that way?

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1 minute ago, Dobian said:

Oh they're real alright, I will never swim or bathe in a South American river, lol.

Actually, it's a myth, they are not real.  He's referring to the Candiru, a catfish relative that attaches itself to the gills of other fish to suck blood. The urine stream swimming is a myth that grew bigger because the internet needs clickbait.

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58 minutes ago, Swim mom said:

Someone on another site heard the hair issue as hair from the dog. Did anyone here hear it that way?

I did! I thought Paul said that he thought the hair came from a dog. Then his mom looked embarrassed and tried to take it back, but he realized that it was her hair. 

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Oh SHIT, the crazy meter is UP for this one and that is saying something for this franchise. I love this version so hard already.  Poor Paul, I'm guessing he's never seen The Green Inferno or lord know what else he would have packed! I don't think mommy's hair would ward off a cannibal attack.  Everybody going outside the country to find someone younger and hotter than them.....ain't love grand?

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50 minutes ago, SoshulMeedya said:

????

And regarding Corina, yes I am REALLY confused how someone who lives hours from civilization with no electricity somehow has a smartphone and Internet service, and knows how to use a dating app. And where, indeed, was that flat screen TV and nicer home? It makes me wonder if she's a victim of human trafficking. Something doesn't add up.

Are dating apps free?

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8 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Paul is going to the tiny, super isolated and remote village of Tonantins, Amazonas, Brazil.

Google Map it... it's insane!

Just a hop, skip, and a jump from Bucamaranga. Maybe she knows Paola! (JK JK JK) But seriously... I like to travel and would love to visit South America someday. However, there is a less than 1% chance I would ever venture that deep into the Amazon rainforest for any reason.

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This is an episode thread, please don't post social media in here especially if it falls into spoiler territory. 

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I hate myself for what I just did. Watched Happily Ever After, then watched this trainwreck and immediately came here to read and re-watched both shows again. You got me, TLC, you got me. 

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First, I have to thank you all b/c I have not laughed this hard in a while.  I am here at work and had a minute so I thought I'd check to confirm that all of you were thinking what I was thinking when I watched this show.  And, you did.  But I cracked up out loud reading the snark !!  

Darcey - She looks older than 42 and she looks much worse than her sister does.  The only saving grace for her is that he is coming from Amsterdam so to me it does not seem so obviously ridiculous like the others.....  He is not coming from the 3rd world and she claims he has a job as a personal trainer, etc.  I'm curious to see how this turns out but have no doubt that if he comes here and they marry, it will not last.

The guy with chic in the Amazon - OMG, what on earth is wrong with him?  It is utterly ridiculous to think they are in love.  There is a big age difference, a huge cultural difference, major financial differences, education differences, etc.  What do they have in common?  They don't even speak the same language!!  He's another one who realizes he is too dorky to get a "hot" girl here so he has to go to the Amazon to find someone who will dance in a bikini for him.  So sad.  But so funny with all those lockers and stuff he was bringing!!  I had/have trouble believing this is real!!  And the coming attractions - this guy gets in real danger it seems.  

 

The guy with the girl in Haiti - I think they said that the 64 year old "ex" lives in Haiti 6 months and DR 6 months.  I think that's why she is not with him full time.  She wants to go to America and he is not the right sugar daddy for that.  How embarrassing that she is one year apart in age from his daughter.  Another Nikki situation most certainly.  Again, so sad, but oh so funny - he'd bringing evening dresses and panties for her to sell ???  LOL  its too much. Where does TLC find these people?

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Didn't Darcey say that her ex lives a couple hours away or something? Don't her kids have school? Even if she went to Amsterdam over Christmas, they'd still have to miss at least 3 weeks, or commute several hours each day. Am I missing something?!

I can't even comment on Paul ... I just can't. Wow. 

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Both men as well as that 60ish guy in Haiti all creep me out.

That young girl in the Amazon - I was confused too at her lack of electricity but having internet connection. She seems to be able to afford extras such as nail polish &/or manicures as well as cute underwear she can parade herself around in to snag the stupid American guy. She also looks much younger than 21 to me.

I felt so bad for Darcey's girls, especially the one in the back of the car. They seemed so sad their mom was leaving for so long. I didn't like the way she said her ex would be 'watching' the girls while she was away. He's not a parent, just an extended free babysitter I guess. And were they comfy with that or maybe another reason they seemed so unhappy?  Might be all of it but I felt bad they have such a selfish woman for a mother dumping them for 6 weeks to chase her boy toy.

And maybe it's just me but her working in fashion, relatively close to NYC, & him being a 'model' raises some red flags IMO. 

I'm having trouble dealing with all these people so far.

Edited by gonecrackers
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Paul is so creepy! Maybe it's just from watching too much Investigation Discovery channel, but he looks unhinged. There is something about his eyes. They look dead. 

It's sad that these people are too blinded by lust/ loneliness to see that they are being used. It's like they have the emotional level of a middle schooler. The first person to give them some kind of attention, they are in love and automatically attached 

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13 hours ago, Quof said:

Nobody "knows" that Darcey is 42.  Come on, PTV super sleuths. Someone must have found online evidence of her true age by now.  

Thank you!  She sure looks older than that or has had one hell of a alcohol/drug problem.

2 hours ago, marymary said:

Didn't Darcey say that her ex lives a couple hours away or something? Don't her kids have school? Even if she went to Amsterdam over Christmas, they'd still have to miss at least 3 weeks, or commute several hours each day. Am I missing something?!

I can't even comment on Paul ... I just can't. Wow. 

It was the first thing I thought of.  How are they going to school.  Maybe online school?

@gonecrackers  I thought she said the girls were going to their dad's house.

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Does Paul remind anyone else of Kip from Napoleon Dynamite? I feel bad because I forsee him getting his heart shattered and I just want to give him a hug. And then smack him for being so naive. But maybe he will meet his LaFonda, stay tuned!

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13 hours ago, Dobian said:

To the 47 year old guy who is competing against the 64 year old guy for the 20 year old Haiti chick - dude, you have no chance, the 64 year old guy is closer to death.

Lmao!!! Yes!

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On 8/6/2017 at 9:56 PM, ThinkerBell said:

I had hopes for Mother-of-Paul being a voice of reason until she slipped him a handful of her hair in a wadded Kleenex.

I nearly pissed myself laughing when she gave him the hair and he waxed poetic about it.

Was Darcey in an AirBnB or a rental?  The house, especially her bedroom, seemed devoid of personal effects.

Edited by CofCinci
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On 8/6/2017 at 8:45 PM, Miss Chevious said:

I think Darcey's hot honey in Amsterdam is going to be disappointed when he sees her looks in real life don't match up with the pics she sent him. I can't wait to see the WTF expression on his face when he first lays eyes on her.

Surely they've skyped back and forth or Face Timed. He would've seen the real her long before she went there.

Edited by sleepyjean
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10 hours ago, jumper sage said:

 I thought she said the girls were going to their dad's house.

Yes that's where she drove them; 2hr drive. Her comment was she was driving them there because their father was going to 'watch the girls for me' while she was away. The 'watch' sounded babysitter-ish to me, but so many moms have that issue with fathers being less fathers to the children than sitters unfortunately.

The girls seemed so sad it made me very sad for them.

Edited by gonecrackers
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