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The Lonely Js Club: Jana, Jedidiah, Jeremiah, Jason and James

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12 hours ago, Totally said:

Maybe his birthday was filmed so Jill can’t be included?

As I noted above, Jill was out of town.

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Thank goodness James was added. I'm thinking the twins will marry soon and this thread would need to be called, The Lonely Js: Jana and, uhm, Ja, Ja, there's a Jason?

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2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

CA6F0E26-01AC-49B6-86B7-C01C7DF4D9A3.jpeg

I think it is telling that everything is vague except for Alert.  Neither one has completed any accredited training programs that would allow them to actually have a job outside of the compound.  It's just two more boys living off the teat when they should be out working a real job and keeping their money.

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On 7/7/2019 at 2:33 PM, Stacey1014 said:

Jana looks a bit rough in that picture.  I don’t know what it is, but she looks tired and as if she’s aged at least five years. 

I think if you told me she was forty-something, I'd believe it.

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Duggar Academy seems to graduate at the 8th grade level, if that.  

It must be terrible to live a life that has already been decided for you by your parents. A life that has been determined by a cult. 

What a shame.  

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2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

CA6F0E26-01AC-49B6-86B7-C01C7DF4D9A3.jpeg

Looks like Jana put on a Pintristy party, complete with little graduation hats.

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1 minute ago, louannems said:

Looks like Jana put on a Pintristy party, complete with little graduation hats.

And Mechelle put on an apron!

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2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

CA6F0E26-01AC-49B6-86B7-C01C7DF4D9A3.jpeg

“Can’t wait to see what’s next for you both” 🤣😂 oh shut up Duggar’s you know what’s next, courtship, marriage, children and a “job” no one knows about about all while worshipping boob and MEchelle. 

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26 minutes ago, Suzn said:

I think if you told me she was forty-something, I'd believe it.

I would too. It isn't so much Jana's physical appearance, there's something about her demeanor that's so worn down. It's like she just lives a flat existence, as if there's nothing to look forward to. It's very sad. 

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46 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I would too. It isn't so much Jana's physical appearance, there's something about her demeanor that's so worn down. It's like she just lives a flat existence, as if there's nothing to look forward to. It's very sad. 

She's been a caged bird all her life and even though the door is open now, she either can't see it or is afraid to go through.

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2 hours ago, Suzn said:

She's been a caged bird all her life and even though the door is open now, she either can't see it or is afraid to go through.

That's about the size of it, isn't it? 

When you're stuck with mega-controlling, abusive people from birth, your brain quickly adapts to the iron laws of the situation because it picks up in infancy the idea that obeying those rules is key to your ability to survive. That's what brains are designed to do. They adapt to the situation they perceive and direct your activities so you'll survive in that situation. 

Ultimately, your brain creates a perfect model of those people and their rules in your brain. So your brain enforces the rules on you before the external controllers even get a chance, all day every day.

Individuals vary widely, of course. And other parts of your brain contribute other things -- like being able to perceive a wider situation and conceive of the possibility of surviving by moving or rebelling, for example. 

But, based on what I've experienced and read, I'd say that, while a lot of people ultimately get those jailers in their heads to back off to some degree, very very few are able to shut them down entirely, at least without therapy. It's your actual wiring, after all. You have to reconstitute your brain to get past it. 

JB and M have been incredibly successful in shutting down everybody. And I wonder whether that isn't because they've passed on to their kids their own fearful and none-too-bright brain wiring.

So the kids mostly can't even see open doors and they're scared of everything so even if they glimpse one they're terrified to even imagine going through it. (I think JB and M were attracted to Gothard and to their overall xenophobic approach to life because they're just naturally fearful and madly self-protective. Plus dumb. Kids like that would keep the wiring they developed early on, probably.) 

That's why I think marriage is probably the only possible means of escape and change for Duggarlings (at least the ones who've come of age so far....Maybe a differently constituted kid is lurking down in the 18-and-under set somewhere.) With somebody else driving or at least helping to drive the train, they have a much better chance than they'll ever have in the compound to see some of those potentially open doors. Once they've linked up to somebody else, they may even have to walk through a door that leads to some change or enlightenment. 

Of course, depending on who you marry, that person might be so much like the jailer-parents in your head that you'd just end up handing over your controls to a new control freak while keeping your self-suppressing wiring intact....I'd say Jana's stuck for life. I hope she finds some things in it that can give her at least a little enjoyment somewhere. 

Edited by Churchhoney
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1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

That's about the size of it, isn't it? 

When you're stuck with mega-controlling, abusive people from birth, your brain quickly adapts to the iron laws of the situation because it picks up in infancy the idea that obeying those rules is key to your ability to survive. That's what brains are designed to do. They adapt to the situation they perceive and direct your activities so you'll survive in that situation. 

Ultimately, your brain creates a perfect model of those people and their rules in your brain. So your brain enforces the rules on you before the external controllers even get a chance, all day every day.

Individuals vary widely, of course. And other parts of your brain contribute other things -- like being able to perceive a wider situation and conceive of the possibility of surviving by moving or rebelling, for example. 

But, based on what I've experienced and read, I'd say that, while a lot of people ultimately get those jailers in their heads to back off to some degree, very very few are able to shut them down entirely, at least without therapy. It's your actual wiring, after all. You have to reconstitute your brain to get past it. 

JB and M have been incredibly successful in shutting down everybody. And I wonder whether that isn't because they've passed on to their kids their own fearful and none-too-bright brain wiring.

So the kids mostly can't even see open doors and they're scared of everything so even if they glimpse one they're terrified to even imagine going through it. (I think JB and M were attracted to Gothard and to their overall xenophobic approach to life because they're just naturally fearful and madly self-protective. Plus dumb. Kids like that would keep the wiring they developed early on, probably.) 

That's why I think marriage is probably the only possible means of escape and change for Duggarlings (at least the ones who've come of age so far....Maybe a differently constituted kid is lurking down in the 18-and-under set somewhere.)

And, of course, depending on who you marry, that person might be so much like the jailer-parents in your head that you'd just end up handing over your controls to a new control freak while keeping your self-suppressing wiring intact....I'd say Jana's stuck for life. I hope she finds some things in it that can give her at least a little enjoyment somewhere. 

It's a little like Stockholm Syndrome, isn't it?

It is always possible that something intense, disruptive, even traumatic could happen that could loosen the hold on the kids, but my expectations are very low.  And it is also possible that some illumination could shine in their damaged minds - always a chance.

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Jana is not only a product of her environment, as we all are to some degree, but half the country thinks very much like the Duggars, give or take a few beliefs.

I imagine Jana would feel very sorry for a woman, say like, Mary Tyler Moore, if the Mary Tyler Moore Show was a reality show.

It would be interesting to know what Jana really thinks and feels. But I'm guessing Jana wouldn't know her own true feelings separate from what she's been taught to feel.

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I thought we were seeing a pregnant Duggar until I saw it was Jana!

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7 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I thought we were seeing a pregnant Duggar until I saw it was Jana!

Same!  My brain had to remind itself that a pregnant Jana would get a lot more attention. That would be a cute maternity dress.  

Edited by Spencer Hastings
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11 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I thought we were seeing a pregnant Duggar until I saw it was Jana!

Thank God, I thought the same thing!

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Those pics are a couple of days old. Were they in LA then?

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4 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Those pics are a couple of days old. Were they in LA then?

Yes, they are from 3 days ago, they are probably there for the week. I know for a fact that merry-go-round is in LA.

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Curious how Jana got herself up on that horse, in that jean skirt. 

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2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Curious how Jana got herself up on that horse, in that jean skirt. 

Help from the TLC crew. I assume they are shooting footage.. "Jessa and Ben and the kids and Jana visit Jinger and Jeremy and Felicity in LA! They help decorate the new house!" You know, like they did when Jinger was moving to Laredo after the wedding. Oh the suspense! Will Jessa put all Jeremy's books in the closet again?? Will Jana raid Hobby Lobby or Target for Magnolia merchandise?

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She looks really pretty in her LA setting. There's a picture on the Vuolo thread that's full body with a hat. She looks good, like any normal CA 29 year old.

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4 hours ago, Jeeves said:

Help from the TLC crew. I assume they are shooting footage.. "Jessa and Ben and the kids and Jana visit Jinger and Jeremy and Felicity in LA! They help decorate the new house!" You know, like they did when Jinger was moving to Laredo after the wedding. Oh the suspense! Will Jessa put all Jeremy's books in the closet again?? Will Jana raid Hobby Lobby or Target for Magnolia merchandise?

But wait! Wouldn't she lose pieces of her heart and a full claim to virginity if that's what happened? I remember hearing that Joe was reluctant to grab his courtee's/fiance's (?) hand/arm(?) to keep her from fracturing her skull on rink ice, lest that occur. 

Can't imagine the stains of sin that would result from some guy lifting Jana via some kind of frontal hold onto that pony. Especially when she's wearing the near-hussy-length jean skirt. 

Though I suppose it may not matter, since Jana seems to be permanently on the shelf for some reason or other. 

Edited by Churchhoney
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I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone ride a carousel horse side-saddle!

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8 minutes ago, PradaKitty said:

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone ride a carousel horse side-saddle!

I'll bet there was a fair amount of that when those carousels were new, though! I can't see a lot of turn-of-the-20th-century women straddling those horses. 

image.png.764e25fe5dc8219b3e0fd861eeafd205.png

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2 hours ago, Tasya said:

She looks really pretty in her LA setting. There's a picture on the Vuolo thread that's full body with a hat. She looks good, like any normal CA 29 year old.

Unfortunately, looks can be deceiving. 

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3 hours ago, Tasya said:

She looks really pretty in her LA setting. There's a picture on the Vuolo thread that's full body with a hat. She looks good, like any normal CA 29 year old.

LOL. No even marginally hip person in LA would wear that hat or that horrendous jean skirt.

Was her Lanz of Salzburg nightgown ad pic taken there too? It does say "Summer Nights"......

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1 hour ago, Ijustwantsomechips said:

☺️🎶You don’t have to be lonely at singliefundie.com🎶

Where pieces of hearts are protected at all times!

Accountability partners provided for a small extra fee.

Edited by GeeGolly
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3 hours ago, PradaKitty said:

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone ride a carousel horse side-saddle!

Julie Andrews in Mary Poppins. 

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10 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

But wait! Wouldn't she lose pieces of her heart and a full claim to virginity if that's what happened? I remember hearing that Joe was reluctant to grab his courtee's/fiance's (?) hand/arm(?) to keep her from fracturing her skull on rink ice, lest that occur. 

Can't imagine the stains of sin that would result from some guy lifting Jana via some kind of frontal hold onto that pony. Especially when she's wearing the near-hussy-length jean skirt. 

Though I suppose it may not matter, since Jana seems to be permanently on the shelf for some reason or other. 

I don't think it matters as much if they aren't courting. A lost girl was allowed to hold Ben's hand during prayer before Jessa could (I think the scene specifically showed them putting J-child in between them) and an older girl not Jessa was all up close and personal cutting his hair. For all we know Jana might get more G rated action being an older unmarried than she would if she was in a courtship.

Edited by momma2seven · Reason: Typos
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I can't tell if the responses to Jana getting on the horse are snark or not (if so then I'm sorry for missing it and being a buzzkill!) but there are little iron footholds that she could use to maneuver herself. You can see it by her foot. It wouldn't be difficult to get into the horse herself, even sidesaddle. 

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3 hours ago, drafan said:

LOL. No even marginally hip person in LA would wear that hat or that horrendous jean skirt.

Well I guess I must be seeing the wrong people when I'm in LA for a shoot with my son. I've seen plenty of similar skirts and hats. But maybe the people I see don't meet your "hip" qualification. I also did not say she looked hip. I said she looked like a normal 29 year old from CA. 

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Jana’s ad:

hi there I’m Jana. I’m a 30 year old who has graduated with honors from Duggarville academy. Now I teach my 15 siblings to read and write. We have 3 rd grade math education! And I am a prayer warrior. I have been rearing and cooking for family of 21 for 20 years and counting!

Mother of the year did great in training me to be mother of the year junior. 

Save me from these weirdos ahem I mean my family. 

Jana, 

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57 minutes ago, McManda said:

I can't tell if the responses to Jana getting on the horse are snark or not (if so then I'm sorry for missing it and being a buzzkill!) but there are little iron footholds that she could use to maneuver herself. You can see it by her foot. It wouldn't be difficult to get into the horse herself, even sidesaddle. 

I am being serious. Even with the foothold it's a bit of a backwards push to get her butt in the seat, all the while keeping her legs snuggly closed and her skirt pulled down. Jeans skirts have no forgiveness and have only one way to go when challenged - and that way is up.

I haven't worn a jean skirt in years, but back in the day when I was a young thing, I found getting out of a chair a challenge at times without flashing the world my underpanted hoo haa while wearing a jean skirt.

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Who the hell is Jason? I guess Justin is on the radar for being all Tab Huntery. He’s kind of blond and cute. Did he not graduate yet? 

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32 minutes ago, EmeraldGirl said:

Did he not graduate yet? 

He's younger than James (who just graduated), so presumably not. He's only 16. I wonder if Justin will be forced to "graduate" with Jackson? God forbid any of the younger kids get a moment for themselves. 

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I think Justin might get his own graduation. Not long ago, when they highlighted Ben "teaching," Jackson was still lumped with the Lost Girls. Justin was nowhere to be found.

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27 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

I’m surprised there is no Jaden or Jacob Duggar.

There’s quite a few perfectly normal J names they skipped so they could have a Jinger, Joy-Anna, and Johannah. 

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3 hours ago, EmeraldGirl said:

Who the hell is Jason? I guess Justin is on the radar for being all Tab Huntery. He’s kind of blond and cute. Did he not graduate yet? 

Jason is the one who fell down the trap door. He has apparently graduated. He looks like this:

His hairline looks like this:

65252208_1343842695767849_75761397037458

Edited by kokapetl
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Wow, two more bald sons coming up! 

I laughed out loud at “fell down the trap door”. It sounds like they wanted to just get rid of one in a hurry. 

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