S05.E19: Where Are They Now? Dottie and June

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

A woman's weight-loss journey is in danger of going off track following the sudden loss of her son; a woman embarks on a plan to win approval for skin surgery.

[Dianaofthehunt]

No matter where these ladies are in their journeys (oh, that word) they both need to make a “journey” to a department store for a good bra fitting. Really, my dears.

[chickenella]

I'm sorry but no way is she a size 14 at 240ish pounds. Unless she's well over 6ft tall?

Also, Aliya said on the live chat "Shame on the producers for showing the "Uncle Dick" tombstone. You know that was on purpose for the laugh. And yeah, it was kinda funny."

Maybe they should have pantry clad that.

[DC Gal in VA]

10 minutes ago, Dianaofthehunt said:

No matter where these ladies are in their journeys (oh, that word) they both need to make a “journey” to a department store for a good bra fitting. Really, my dears.

And some serious shape wear too! I don't think I've ever seen any of them buy shape wear.

[MrsClaus]

I tried to edit my post in the live chat to add the following.

This last week since surgery has really made me look at the people on this show.  I'm limited on my activities and it is driving me crazy.  I can't understand how they live such limited lives and don't do something about it.

I was glad to see Dottie still getting therapy and working on dealing with her emotions.

[fonfereksglen]

55 minutes ago, Dianaofthehunt said:

No matter where these ladies are in their journeys (oh, that word) they both need to make a “journey” to a department store for a good bra fitting. Really, my dears.

I admit I use the word journey, because all I can think of - and I'm in my mid-60s - is the line from Mission Impossible.  "This mission - should you decide to accept!"   Which of course the team accepted, yet too many of these 600 lb fools mess with their chance(s) of a lifetime.  

42 minutes ago, MrsClaus said:

I

I've also  started to look at the random morbidly obese people I see in the grocery store who rudely think I should get out of the way of their scooters and speculate if they would be good or bad candidates for WLS and wonder if Dr. Now would yell at them.  Thank goodness there is only one more episode, or I'll probably start dreaming of Dr. Now telling me I need to lose 50 lbs..  

Edited May 11, 2017 by fonfereksglen
Not sure why Mrsclaus's post was quoted though I'm sure it was wonderful

[DC Gal in VA]

Heck, if June was size 14 or 16, them I'm a size 2, which I ain't. Maybe it was one of those "vanity" sizing type stores.

[DC Gal in VA]

Another couple of thoughts about tonight's show.

Seems like it was a night of firsts:

First time (and hopefully the only time) we see two subjects who have lost children.

Also the first time, but correct me if I am wrong, that Dr. Now has done additional weight loss surgery. That really confused me especially since he quite correctly urged Dottie to get therapy but said she needed more surgery to speed up her weight loss. Isn't he always telling patients that the surgery isn't a magic pill, that they have to change their "eating habit?" Really strange.

And at least the first time I can remember the TLC commercials hinting at a patient continuing to be a train wreck, meaning June as her Bitch-a-rella past self, NOT happening. Glad about that and her success.

[88Keys]

This episode is depressing.  Too many dead children.  I have no desire to snark on either of these women.  :(

[crazycatlady58]

One child is to many. But  at the end both women seemed to be moving  on with there life at least  as much as one can after   losing  a child . No one should  have to go through  that. 

[hoosiermom]

To all you "live chatters" I apologize for falling asleep about the last hour. I am so mad cause I really look forward to chatting with you all. I finished watching where I left off (thank God for DVR) and just read along with your comments pretending it was still live. Sniff.

[Barb23]

9 hours ago, MrsClaus said:

 

  I'm limited on my activities and it is driving me crazy.  I can't understand how they live such limited lives and don't do something about it.

 

I was thinking along the same lines.  What I thought was weird for both these two was they didn't show any friends or extended families, besides Dottie's husband.  I think June had someone with her when she got the tattoo & she mentioned her brother helped after her leg surgery but that was about it.  Usually there are swarms of people around in these episodes.  I kept thinking if only they had good friends or family to hang with, things may be a little brighter for them.  I'm sure Dottie could find some type of play group that would help both her son & herself by getting out rather than staying home dwelling on her memories.  I thought it was terrible she said something at the end of the show at the play place that they had only been out about four times with their son.  No wonder he was so quiet & non-verbal. 

[joh]

Exactly how much money does June get from the state for disability? I counted two new cars, a nice apartment and plenty of clothes and fake nails. I work two jobs and can't live like that.  What is going on in this WORLD!!!  I thought she had other children but there was no support for her during her surgery.

[joh]

What is the issue with Dottie always doing the driving.  Her husband did go out for food when she stayed home, so we know he can drive.  I'm thinking maybe he can't read.  Was the precious son that died her husband's son?  There might be some mental issues involved. She seems like a very caring, loving person.

[aliya]

1. Dottie does not seem loving and caring to me. She doesn't seem to care much about Brandon, despite her statements to the contrary. She used her sick son to absent herself from other wifely and motherly duties. She was home all day with the child - she could have cooked family meals, but instead, she ordered out all the time, which not only contributed to her weight gain but I'm sure negatively affected the family budget.  I know the child was severely disabled, but I've met several parents with severely disabled children at home and they function without ignoring the other kids, sometimes they work, and they aren't 600 lbs.  I'm tired of people on this show crying about how much they love their kids. I don't see it.

2. Joh - the disabled son was from Dottie's first marriage.

3. Brandon's speech issues - Going to hell, but here's a joke: A couple's child isn't speaking. Years go by. One morning the kid starts to eat his oatmeal and cries out, "This oatmeal is hot!" The parents are flabbergasted. "Son, you can talk!  Why haven't you said anything before this?"  Child responds, "Up until now, everything's been OK."  I watched Brandon during the repeat and he seemed pretty normal to me - normal physical activity, normal interaction with his parents and environment, maybe he just doesn't have much to say? I might, might, take him to a specialist once, but I'd hesitate to put a label on him at this point, with so many other aspects of his behavior seeming to be normal (obviously just based on what we saw on the show). Starting with low hanging fruit, his freakin' mother could stop parking him in the high chair and walking away or talking to him from across the room. 

eta - Diamond Dog - love your name! Love Bowie!

Edited May 11, 2017 by aliya

[hnygrl]

Dottie got on my last nerve. Using her children to not change. I actually started yelling at the TV at one point. Every time she canceled an appointment with Dr. Now because "her kids" "her family" Was all just bullcrap. She didn't want to go because she didn't want to hear it. Plain and simple. I thought it was brilliant how Dr. Now FORCED her to finally deal with her issues and quit hiding behind food and using her kids as an excuse not to do better.

He made her tummy so small that food was disgusting for her. Eating wasn't the pleasurable experience it once was, so she HAD to change or die. Instead of BS-ing the therapist, she actually opened up for real and DEALT with stuff because she could no longer use her drug of choice and blame her kids for it. That door was shut. I think that was her "aha" moment when she couldn't, physically could. not. eat anymore. That's when she woke up and realized what she'd been doing to herself. I want another update on her. I'd love to see her without the butt or the belly. And see just what a health Dottie looks like.

June. Oh Juney June June...you're such a bitch you drove everyone away. She lives alone, works alone, does everything including surgeries alone because she physically drove everyone who cared about her away. Her brother "came over" for a couple days to "help her out." But noticed he was OUT of there the second she could walk alone. I have known women like her and as pretty as she is (and she is...man when she smiles for REAL? Lights up a room!) She's just selfish, self centered, all about me...I noticed nobody helped her move. NObody. Her brother only did it (up all those stairs, BY himself(?) [was he? I wasn't watching too closely then]) because he felt it was his duty. You can lose weight June, but you really really really need to check yourself before you die alone. This is the first time I've ever seen a person on this show so alone.

Edited May 11, 2017 by hnygrl

[Toaster Strudel]

Did Dottie lose any weight during that whole show?  She looked bigger at the end.

[Arynm]

I found it abhorrent that both these women used their children as an excuse to eat themselves almost to death. Your children will be happier if you are around to watch them graduate high school. The fact that Dotties son is completely non-verbal shows that she is not as hands on as she would like us to believe. It was very sad that both of these women lost sons, I can't even imagine the pain. I still think they are doing their children a grave disservice by ballooning up and acting like they just don't have the time to do anything for themselves. That kind of false martyrdom makes me crazy. Dottie promised Daniel that she would lose weight and get healthy, she must have said it 12 times, yet she has done next to nothing.

[AVM]

1 hour ago, Arynm said:

I found it abhorrent that both these women used their children as an excuse to eat themselves almost to death. Your children will be happier if you are around to watch them graduate high school. The fact that Dotties son is completely non-verbal shows that she is not as hands on as she would like us to believe. It was very sad that both of these women lost sons, I can't even imagine the pain. I still think they are doing their children a grave disservice by ballooning up and acting like they just don't have the time to do anything for themselves. That kind of false martyrdom makes me crazy. Dottie promised Daniel that she would lose weight and get healthy, she must have said it 12 times, yet she has done next to nothing.

Amen,  Dottie also became disabled after her son died and needs a walker !.I think we have a case taking advantage of government programs ,the bypass will not work if she does not change and so far nothing seems to matter to her.

8 hours ago, joh said:

What is the issue with Dottie always doing the driving.  Her husband did go out for food when she stayed home, so we know he can drive.  I'm thinking maybe he can't read.  Was the precious son that died her husband's son?  There might be some mental issues involved. She seems like a very caring, loving person.

No Daniel's Father left after he found out the baby was born brain damaged ,she wasn't married to him.

[Otter]

I haven't see the follow-up yet.  June's partner reminded me of Lisa, James K's partner.  Beaten down, for some reason scared (not like either of them could run them down if they left).  Reading the comments it sounds as though June's partner DID leave.  I hope so ... she was treated so horribly by June.  

[ClareWalks]

Re: Dottie's son not talking, usually a kid has an evaluation at their 18-month checkup and might be referred to a speech therapist if there are concerns. My son was only saying about 3 words at that time, so he started speech therapy shortly thereafter. It's been 6 months and he's saying a couple hundred words, understands about a thousand, and is using two- and three-word phrases (I am so proud of my hard worker!). It is very common for boys with stay-at-home moms to be delayed with expressive speech, both because boys are usually behind girls and because having Mom around all the time, she anticipates the kid's needs and he doesn't NEED to ask for things. The mother who stays at home needs to be very active with the therapy, though, and I didn't see Dottie doing much of anything to encourage him to talk more (which I guarantee the therapist would be hammering in to her every appointment). I also hate the excuse that you can't deal with losing weight because you are focusing on your kids. How hard is it to eat greek yogurt and protein shakes instead of big meals? Or even if you order pizza for the family, have one slice and stop?

I loved June's dresses but hated her attitude. The chip on her shoulder motivated her to "stick it to" Dr. Now, but she needs better internal motivation to continue to succeed. When she complained about her thigh chafing I was like "girl, get some compression leggings." They might be hard to find in her size but damn it would be worth it. Gobs of Vaseline might work too. I'd be googling the shit out of "thigh chafing remedies."

[Arynm]

15 minutes ago, ClareWalks said:

Re: Dottie's son not talking, usually a kid has an evaluation at their 18-month checkup and might be referred to a speech therapist if there are concerns. My son was only saying about 3 words at that time, so he started speech therapy shortly thereafter. It's been 6 months and he's saying a couple hundred words, understands about a thousand, and is using two- and three-word phrases (I am so proud of my hard worker!). It is very common for boys with stay-at-home moms to be delayed with expressive speech, both because boys are usually behind girls and because having Mom around all the time, she anticipates the kid's needs and he doesn't NEED to ask for things. The mother who stays at home needs to be very active with the therapy, though, and I didn't see Dottie doing much of anything to encourage him to talk more (which I guarantee the therapist would be hammering in to her every appointment). I also hate the excuse that you can't deal with losing weight because you are focusing on your kids. How hard is it to eat greek yogurt and protein shakes instead of big meals? Or even if you order pizza for the family, have one slice and stop?

 

My son was also non verbal at that age, but he had fluid in his ears that made everything sound underwater to him. Dr. kept saying everything was ok so he didn't get the help he needed until around 4. He's a tough cookie so he had ear infections but never said anything or complained so we had no idea.

I am now militant that if kids are not speaking they need to get checked. I bother my friends until they do. My son would not have been in speech until middle school if the Dr. had done checks instead of saying he is a boy, he develops slower etc...

[ClareWalks]

4 minutes ago, Arynm said:

My son would not have been in speech until middle school if the Dr. had done checks instead of saying he is a boy, he develops slower etc...

Sounds like your doctor was not as on top of it as most, that sucks :( But glad your son is doing better now!

[Mom2twoNonna2-3]

My cousin didn't talk til age 4. She graduated high school early and is a CPA. Pour woman now has a paralyzed son from a snow board accident. He was wearing a helmet, but, stopped fast to avoid a group of small kids and fell weird. She still worked from the hospital in another state while her son was in therapies.  I hope Dotties son will be okay. He was cute.

[hnygrl]

June's Girlfriend Dropped her. As did her daughter. She's all alone. Nobody. Just June, the way she like it.

[Awfarmington]

 My oldest son was a late talker. He had a pacifier till he was 2, was a boy and I also stayed home doing everything for him without making him use his words. All that added up delayed his speech. He's 19, works full time and is starting college for computer science, so he caught up just fine. My other boys were also later talkers (was home with each and they were thumb suckers),  but now that they're older, they don't stop talking. 

Edited May 12, 2017 by Awfarmington

[MrsClaus]

I didn't pay that close attention.  Did anyone see books in Dottie's house?  Learning toys?  We've always had tons around when the kids were little and now have one whole room full of bookshelves with all kinds of books.

[fonfereksglen]

36 minutes ago, Mom2twoNonna2one said:

My cousin didn't talk til age 4. She graduated high school early and is a CPA. Pour woman now has a paralyzed son from a snow board accident. He was wearing a helmet, but, stopped fast to avoid a group of small kids and fell weird. She still worked from the hospital in another state while her son was in therapies.  I hope Dotties son will be okay. He was cute.

That is an exception, not the norm.  I was a teacher for a zillion years.  Non verbal children, much like those two dead eyed, silent, filthy diaper clad Juggalo babies need a ton of early childhood intervention.  This little boy, with two healthy parents, is at risk.  I hope once he hits Head Start age, he is in school.  That Daniel was stuck at home, rather than receiving the TON of resources available to a 12 year old child, was profound neglect. I hope the cycle will be broken, because daddy is a complete loser and mommy needs an excuse to maintain her martyrhood. 

Edited May 12, 2017 by fonfereksglen

[fonfereksglen]

June.  Even after two years, we do not have any sense of who she is, do we?  Why is she so hostile to Dr. Now? What is with the tats?  Why does she move once a year?  So many questions that I hope she is asking herself.  This chance of  a lifetime only lasts so long.  

[MrsClaus]

I'm confused as to why June needed to buy and evening dress to go get a tattoo.

[Otter]

1 hour ago, hnygrl said:

June's Girlfriend Dropped her. As did her daughter. She's all alone. Nobody. Just June, the way she like it.

Good,  Maybe she'll learn some empathy for others.  But I doubt it.

[AVM]

9 hours ago, MrsClaus said:

I'm confused as to why June needed to buy and evening dress to go get a tattoo.

She always covers her legs,she had said she wanted to buy pants ? The tattoos are just another addiction

[Jeeves]

Poor Dottie. She's going to have to change a lot of things in her head if she's going to be a good parent to her surviving child. I wish her well. 

I also noticed that she always does the driving. I wonder if her husband draws some kind of disability benefits for a condition which precludes driving. He could have a seizure disorder, or some other condition that requires medication that you're not supposed to drive while taking. 

Edited May 12, 2017 by Jeeves

[SunnyBeBe]

Something that I have observed here and in other episodes, that seems to be quite prevalent, is that they can't seem to focus on their eating plan OR attend doctor appointment during any kind of distraction.  Like, "Oh, I have a hang nail. Can't diet this month or see the doctor.  Maybe, later. " I realize that a death in the family is a horrible event, but, I got the impression that the refusal to focus was something that Dottie used for years, before her son died and then she used other reasons, after her son died.  Anyone could see that caring for her surviving child did not take up so much time that she couldn't make good food choices and attend a doctor's appointment.  How far away from his office did she live? 

Also, if a parent is so severely effected by obesity as Dottie, HOW IN THE WORLD do you bring yourself to deprive your only child of nutritious food?  I just don't get it.  How does she not see that she's setting the stage for her young son to be right where she is in 20 years OR SOONER? 

You really do have to have a lot of gumption to argue with an Obesity specialist on tv, especially when you admit that you aren't following his instructions. (June)

Edited May 12, 2017 by SunnyBeBe

[Trees]

I get so mad at the ones like June who think that somehow basic math is different for them.  Marla had this attitude too. I think some others did, also but I forget whom.  WHY?  Why do they think they're so different?  Why did they sign up for this if they think that Dr Now doesn't have an answer "for them since they are special/different/unique"?

X number of calories on a body of x height, etc = weight loss.  Has nothing to do with a person's personality.

[aliya]

15 hours ago, fonfereksglen said:

That is an exception, not the norm.  I was a teacher for a zillion years.  Non verbal children, much like those two dead eyed, silent, filthy diaper clad Juggalo babies need a ton of early childhood intervention.  This little boy, with two healthy parents, is at risk.  I hope once he hits Head Start age, he is in school.  That Daniel was stuck at home, rather than receiving the TON of resources available to a 12 year old child, was profound neglect. I hope the cycle will be broken, because daddy is a complete loser and mommy needs an excuse to maintain her martyrhood. 

Daniel seemed profoundly affected by his disability. Could he have done more than just be in bed? Can you tell me what kind of resources Dottie should have had for him? My nephew's girlfriend has a sister who had a stroke at 5. She is wheelchair bound, can sit up, is aware of her surroundings and goes with the family on many activities, but is nonverbal and needs almost constant care (they have paid caregivers much of the time). She goes to a 'day care' facility sometimes for interaction with others and I guess they do things with her. I don't think she can communicate in any meaningful way with the other kids. As affected as she is, I can see getting her out of the house, going to the group day care, etc. because she has reactions to her environment. Daniel didn't seem to react to much. What would be recommended for someone like him?

I'm sorry, but every time I see your name, I read it as 'foreskin.'  I'm sorry.

[Lunula]

I was literally yelling at my television every time Dottie mentioned she was, "Doing this for Daniel. Doing this for Landon. Doing this for her family. Doing this for her husband." Blah blah blah. DO THIS FOR YOURSELF. Jeez. I'm glad at the end the therapist finally told her she needed to stop using her family "as a job" and work on herself. I have to admit, a slur of expletives came out of my mouth after Daniel died and she started trying to use Landon as an excuse for not taking care of herself. Basically she said, "He needs me now, I just can't take the time to follow a diet."

Like a diet takes a lot of time to follow. Seriously?

Though I think Dottie is a nice person at her core, she frustrated me waaaaay more than June. She lives in this weird state of delusional denial. Honestly, she doesn't know that she's eating too much damn food? There are, literally, probably 1,000 websites and/or mobile apps that will help you track every calorie, every fat gram and every micro-nutrient. You could pick up a book that has calories for every single food and just write it down. 

And personally, as someone who has battled her way out of an 25-year-old eating disorder, I get frustrated with Dr Now and the show making it sound like eating disorders can be "cured" by dealing with emotional issues. Getting through emotional turmoil is a valuable pursuit and our lives would likely be better after, but I strongly disagree with thinking that it is the deciding factor in creating an eating-disorder-free life. An eating disorder, especially binge-eating disorder, is a compulsive bad habit. Dealing with past emotional trauma might help you to better deal with breaking your habits/compulsions, but it will not break the compulsion in & of itself. I'd like to start seeing some cognitive behavior therapy and therapy in breaking bad habits rather than just only concentrating on past trauma. 

[auntjess]

On ‎5‎/‎11‎/‎2017 at 7:43 PM, ClareWalks said:

When she complained about her thigh chafing I was like "girl, get some compression leggings." They might be hard to find in her size but damn it would be worth it. Gobs of Vaseline might work too. I'd be googling the shit out of "thigh chafing remedies."

I wondered why she didn't some slacks, or leggings, or something too.  If she didn't like the look at her weight, she could still wear long skirts over them.

8 hours ago, Trees said:

Why did they sign up for this if they think that Dr Now doesn't have an answer "for them since they are special/different/unique"?

I think Penny was the original "do it my way," and "do it on my time schedule."

[chopperchopperbell]

I'm not sure what to think about Dottie.  She struck me as being extremely depressed.  Feeding your kid dinner from a can is a lot less work than making him a healthy meal.  I guess I understand why Dottie does the things she does---she's depressed.  And who wouldn't be depressed, your child is severely disabled for 12 years and then DIES, and you weigh 500+ lbs.  That alone is depressing.  Landon probably doesn't talk because his mother ignores him.  When people are depressed doing much of anything feels like too much.  It is sad, but in Dottie's case I do think she was justified in being an emotional wreck.  I think Dr Now has a soft spot for her.  I hope she finds her way out of the darkness.

June was just mean.  Usually we can root for the ones who are succeeding, in June's case I didn't really care.  The surgery can't fix nasty bad attitudes.

[auntjess]

Am I the only one who liked June?  I was hoping to be able to see more of her skin surgeries.
Yeah, she bitched, but then she'd do what she needed to do.
And I think she moved party so that she had to climb stairs.  I was worried because she did it before her skin surgery.
She'd apparently worked before, and then she got a job after she'd lost weight, and was getting around better.
Dottie was just sad to watch, but she needs to get herself together enough to care for Landon.  She needs to show him at least some love, or bitch, fake it!
I hope Landon never had to hear/see the bit where she says she never loved anyone more.
Sorry, I know you mourn Daniel, but you had 2 sons, so appreciate the one you have left.

[Complexity]

On 5/10/2017 at 10:28 PM, DC Gal in VA said:

Also the first time, but correct me if I am wrong, that Dr. Now has done additional weight loss surgery. That really confused me especially since he quite correctly urged Dottie to get therapy but said she needed more surgery to speed up her weight loss. Isn't he always telling patients that the surgery isn't a magic pill, that they have to change their "eating habit?" Really strange.

He did the gastric bypass to force Dottie to deal with her emotional issues that were driving her eating. She literally would be unable to eat like before once she had the surgery. So it was't a magic pill. It was Dr. Now's way of forcing Dottie to hit her rock bottom (which he actually said on the show). After her surgery, I remember Dottie talking about becoming aware of how much she had been eating to handle her emotions. Without being able to do that, she even became suicidal at one point. That's why Dr. Now had her hospitalized after her gastric bypass (which is unusual; normally they go home).

Dottie was like any person with an addiction. She was self-medicating with her drug of choice. It is a way to avoid emotions. People like that literally cannot handle emotions (even regular ones, no less the emotions of having a child with a severe disability, knowing that child will never grow up, and then having to bury that child). If they don't learn how to process their emotions as they happen, they will become addicted to something – anything – to cope.

9 hours ago, Lunula said:

I'd like to start seeing some cognitive behavior therapy and therapy in breaking bad habits rather than just only concentrating on past trauma.

I'm not following you here. Generally, trauma and maladaptive coping methods (such as overeating) go hand-in-hand. Trauma is the event that happened and overeating is the behavior used to cope with it. Cognitive behavioral therapy deals with the link between a person's thoughts (cognitions), their feelings (emotions), and their maladaptive coping skills (behavior) caused by trauma. They're all interconnected. None of them can be the only thing concentrated on in therapy.

43 minutes ago, chopperchopperbell said:

I'm not sure what to think about Dottie.  She struck me as being extremely depressed.

Yes, very much so. And with good reason (not that a person needs a "good" reason for depression). She absolutely needed therapy to help her learn better coping skills.

[chickenella]

11 hours ago, aliya said:

I'm sorry, but every time I see your name, I read it as 'foreskin.'  I'm sorry.

Me too, lol.

[Complexity]

11 hours ago, aliya said:

I'm sorry, but every time I see your name, I read it as 'foreskin.'  I'm sorry.

4 minutes ago, chickenella said:

Me too, lol.

Me three! ?

[Pretty5Vacant]

Me four..I always do a double take 

[DC Gal in VA]

11 hours ago, Complexity said:

He did the gastric bypass to force Dottie to deal with her emotional issues that were driving her eating. She literally would be unable to eat like before once she had the surgery. So it was't a magic pill. It was Dr. Now's way of forcing Dottie to hit her rock bottom (which he actually said on the show). After her surgery, I remember Dottie talking about becoming aware of how much she had been eating to handle her emotions. Without being able to do that, she even became suicidal at one point. That's why Dr. Now had her hospitalized after her gastric bypass (which is unusual; normally they go home).

Dottie was like any person with an addiction. She was self-medicating with her drug of choice. It is a way to avoid emotions. People like that literally cannot handle emotions (even regular ones, no less the emotions of having a child with a severe disability, knowing that child will never grow up, and then having to bury that child). If they don't learn how to process their emotions as they happen, they will become addicted to something – anything – to cope.

I completely understand why Dottie needed the original weight loss surgery to deal with her over eating and that she needed therapy to develop appropriate coping skills. Really liked her therapist and dearly hope that she keeps up with seeing her.

My confusion was as to why did Dr. Now determine that she needed a second surgery? Why did it make any sense to do a second surgery on someone who clearly was not following his diet protocols? There have been many sad and tragic examples of people who have gotten weight loss surgery and then eaten themselves right back to their original weight and then some. There's a very famous case of a man--his name escapes me at the moment-- who lost something like 700 pounds and put all of that weight back on plus more. He's the one that Richard Simmons tried to help and had a couple of stays at a weight loss facility called Brookhaven. He died a few years ago.

Again, my question is, why two surgeries?

Edited May 13, 2017 by DC Gal in VA
For clarifications.

[DC Gal in VA]

5 hours ago, Complexity said:

I'm not following you here. Generally, trauma and maladaptive coping methods (such as overeating) go hand-in-hand. Trauma is the event that happened and overeating is the behavior used to cope with it. Cognitive behavioral therapy deals with the link between a person's thoughts (cognitions), their feelings (emotions), and their maladaptive coping skills (behavior) caused by trauma.

Wanted to say thanks Complexity for this wonderfully clear explanation of exactly what cognitive therapy is.

[Complexity]

2 hours ago, DC Gal in VA said:

I completely understand why Dottie needed the original weight loss surgery to deal with her over eating and that she needed therapy to develop appropriate coping skills. Really liked her therapist and dearly hope that she keeps up with seeing her.

My confusion was as to why did Dr. Now determined that she needed a second surgery? Why did it make any sense to do a second surgery on someone who clearly was not following his diet protocols? There have been many sad and tragic examples of people who have gotten weight loss surgery and then eaten themselves right back to their original weight and then some. There's a very famous case of a man--his name escapes me at the moment-- who lost something like 700 pounds and put all of that weight back on plus more. He's the one that Richard Simmons tried to help and had a couple of stays at a weight loss facility called Brookhaven. He died a few years ago.

Again, my question is, why two surgeries?

That was my explanation for the second surgery. ?

The question then is why did Dr. Now only do a gastric sleeve the first time instead of a gastric bypass? I don't know. I can only guess that he had problems doing a full bypass the first time around because of her weight, but he could do it later when she was smaller (not by much, but she was still smaller).

I also think Dr. Now was more sympathetic with Dottie because of her first son's cerebral palsy and then death. Not only did he do the second surgery to help her lose weight, but this was the first time I've seen Dr. Now not give a patient a weight loss goal. He did that twice with her.

[cynicat]

12 hours ago, auntjess said:

Am I the only one who liked June?  I was hoping to be able to see more of her skin surgeries.
Yeah, she bitched, but then she'd do what she needed to do.
And I think she moved party so that she had to climb stairs.  I was worried because she did it before her skin surgery.
She'd apparently worked before, and then she got a job after she'd lost weight, and was getting around better.
Dottie was just sad to watch, but she needs to get herself together enough to care for Landon.  She needs to show him at least some love, or bitch, fake it!
I hope Landon never had to hear/see the bit where she says she never loved anyone more.
Sorry, I know you mourn Daniel, but you had 2 sons, so appreciate the one you have left.

No, you're not alone.  I ended up liking her too.  Yes, she was disagreeable and angry, and maybe not someone who I'd want as my friend, but there was something about her that I had to respect.  She got pissed when Dr. Now would tell her things she didn't want to hear, but she'd end up doing what he asked.  She has great self-esteem and you have to love that.  I really want to see what she looks like after all of the skin surgeries.  When she got down in the 200's, I did a double take because she really is very attractive.  I can't hate her because I'm a nasty bitch too (not proud of it), and I have to support my own kind.

[Jeeves]

5 hours ago, Complexity said:

That was my explanation for the second surgery. ?

The question then is why did Dr. Now only do a gastric sleeve the first time instead of a gastric bypass? I don't know. I can only guess that he had problems doing a full bypass the first time around because of her weight, but he could do it later when she was smaller (not by much, but she was still smaller).

I also think Dr. Now was more sympathetic with Dottie because of her first son's cerebral palsy and then death. Not only did he do the second surgery to help her lose weight, but this was the first time I've seen Dr. Now not give a patient a weight loss goal. He did that twice with her.

^^That's what I thought - well, guessed - as well. I think the sleeve - the one he did first - is a simpler and shorter surgery (less time under anesthesia, etc.). I'm not a medical pro, obviously, but I believe the risks of doing any surgical procedure on people who weigh 500, 600 pounds and more, must be scary-high, and you'd want to keep the procedure short as possible. 

[fonfereksglen]

13 hours ago, Complexity said:

Me three! ?

Sounds like there's a bunch of folks who need to get laid.