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ElectricBoogaloo

The Handmaid's Quotes

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June: Another walking partner dead. They must think I'm cursed. Or a terrorist. I'm not though. Not yet.

June: Mrs. Lawrence, have you ever thought about leaving Gilead?
Eleanor: You mean go somewhere where I can get mood stabilizers instead of herbal tea?

Aunt Lydia: Bearing witness ensures that every member of the family is performing their role. Any deviation could tip the scales to failure.
Lawrence: Are you going to sit on the bed with us too? Because that would definitely make things more interesting.

Fred: Are you alright?
June: At least it wasn't you.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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June: I know you want to kill him. I would like to kill him, too. But we can't always just do what we want. We have to control ourselves.

Lawrence: You know how insane you sound right now? Part of the equation we overlooked - mental health, obviously.
June: You owe me.
Lawrence: I assume you are staying.
June: Yes.
Lawrence: Maternal love - we overlooked that one, too. So many regrets.

Lawrence: You should have known.
June: I should have known you were a fucking liar?
Lawrence: You should have known that my wife is more important to me than you are.

June: I have money.
Billy: You don't have enough.
June: I have a house full of Picassos. Cezannes, Rembrandts, Pissarros.
Billy: That's how you know Beth. You're in the Lawrence house.
June: It's like living in the attic of MoMA.
Billy: That fucker raided all the museums first chance he could get.

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Rita: [Serena] was nice to me when she said goodbye.
June: She's only nice when she's up to something.

Serena: I'm sure that [Nicole] will be fine with me.
Moira: Who are you, really?
Mark: Moira.
Moira: No, just because you got some new clothes doesn't make you any different. You are still the same woman who held my friend down so your husband could rape her.
Mark: That's uncalled for.
Moira: Fuck you.

Moira: I am who I am and I have sinned plenty, but you are the gender traitor.

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Janine: Oh, Mr. Darcy, for fuck's sake!

Nick: Blessed day, commander.
Lawrence: Not from where I sit.

Nick: Some men need to be led.
Lawrence: The tao of June Osborne.

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June: I think these women deserve to be free.
Alma: Is that it? Or do you just want to kill a bunch of commanders?
June: Both.

June: Have you been poisoning [your husband]?
Esther: You learn things on a farm.

Janine: Red leader standing by.

Daisy: I don't think I can do this.
June: I do. We're the ones we've been waiting for.

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Lawrence: Well, [June] isn't stupid but she is stubborn which I guess is a form of stupidity, perhaps its most virulent form.

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June: Janine, wake up. You can't fall asleep when it's this cold, okay? You'll get hypothermia.
Janine: No, that's concussions. You can't sleep with one of them.

Janine: They were the nicest - Alma and Brianna. Maybe that's why.
June: What?
Janine: Why God wanted them and not us. At least not you.

June: You would have done the same thing.
Janine: You don't know what I would have done. Maybe I would've done something better, something smarter.
June: Like what, huh? Like what, Janine? Something stupid and dangerous, and then I would've had to save your ass again.
Janine: This is stupid and dangerous! We're going to the front of a war in a refrigerator!

Fred: How are you? Are you with your family?
Rita: With respect, sir, I'd rather not say.
Fred: Of course. You're free to do as you please.
Rita: Yes, I am.
Fred: It's nice to see a friendly face.
Rita: We aren't friends.

Steven: Welcome back [to America]. It's a fucking disaster.

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Lawrence: Unlike women, numbers don't lie.

Lawrence: A ceasefire might help June. I'm trying to do the right thing here.
Nick: If she was near the border, I'd know about it.
Lawrence: Oh, that's sweet. Would your heart glow or something?

Lawrence: To what do I owe the pleasure?
Lydia: I believe I can be of service to you.
Lawrence: Lucky me.

Lydia: I can only imagine the goods you have on my illustrious colleagues. Commander Calhoun - what's the dirt on him?
Lydia: I'm not one to traffic in gossip.
Lawrence: You just tried to blackmail me.
Lydia: Hardly gossip.

Janine: The world needs more baby Americans, right?
June: You sound like Aunt Lydia.
Janine: No, June, you do. You're so bossy and judgmental.

Nick: I'm looking for June Osborn.
Lori: Fuck June Osborn.
Martha: Lori, shut up.
Lori: A lot of brave women died trying to protect her. Everyone that helps her ends up on the fucking wall.
Nick: I know. I'm sorry. I care about her. What can you tell me?
Lori: You're better off without her.

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June: Just so you know, I'm never moving again. Ever.
Luke: Deal. I'll put it in the vows.

June: What if I end up disappointing you?
Luke: You're not going to disappoint me.
June: You don't know that. Everyone has a line, you know, something that's unforgivable. What if I'm not who you think I am?
Luke: Then I'll just love whoever you turn out to be.

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Rachel: This is the standard for all high-profile refugees. VIPs. Please let us know if there's anything else you'd like. We've also procured some clothing for you. We sent an assistant to anthropologie.

Mark: I leave the legal stuff to the lawyers.
Serena: And what are you? Just a pot-stirrer?

Fred: God has granted us a child of our own, Serena. He wants us to be together.
Serena: It's not your place to guess at the intentions of God.
Fred: I want to be a good father to my son. And a good husband to you, if you'll let me.
Serena: It's too late for that, Fred.
Fred: Our pregnancy is proof that it's not.
Serena: My pregnancy.
Fred: This pregnancy belongs to me just as much as Offred's belonged to you.

Moira: Emily wants to know when she can come by. She made banana bread. Rita's going to bring over some muffins or something.
Luke: Folks gotta bake.

Moira: You want to go to the supermarket?
Luke: You just got here. It could be overwhelming. Culture shock.
June: I've been living in Gilead. All I want is culture shock.

June: What happened to potato chips in the last seven years?
Luke: Oh, they made them healthy. I know, it's a travesty.

Emily: She's been working late a lot. But, um, it's good. She likes her job. And it's not just about avoiding me.
Moira: Of course she's not avoiding you.
Emily: I'm still looking for the right time to move back into her bedroom.
Moira: There's no judgment.
Emily: She's so patient and kind and I just wish she didn't have to deal with this special case.
Moira: We all left that place totally fucked up about sex.
Emily: You found Oona.
Moira: And I fucked that one up too.
June: No, I did. That was my fault.
Moira: No, see that? Don't bring that Aunt Lydia shit in here. This is a Lydia-free zone, okay?
Emily: She can't get us here.
Moira: None of them can.
June: Do you guys ever wonder if you deserve this? If you deserve to be here?
Emily: Sometimes I think about what I did when I was there.
Moira: We did what we had to do to survive, to get out. But we're here, ladies. We won. Mmm-hmm. They tried to fucking destroy us, and we won. Yay.

Rita: I saw [Serena].
June: When? How? Why?
Rita: She wanted my help. You know her. Total narcissist.

Moira: It's really nice of you to bring [June] a gift. I mean, seeing as we almost killed your NGO and all.
Oona: Well, I nearly left her to die in Gilead, so I guess we're about even?

Serena: I prayed for this chance. And I humbly thank the lord for your visit.
June: You would. You never did give me credit for anything.
Serena: I believe that the lord brought you here so that I could make amends.
June: I brought myself here, so that I could tell you how much I hate you. You don't deserve to make amends to anyone. The only thing that you deserve is a life full of suffering and shame. You have destroyed my life, my family, my friends, my country, and my child. There is no one less worthy of redemption than you.
Serena: I'm sorry. I am begging for your forgiveness and I'm begging for the lord's mercy and for his understanding.
June: Do you know why God made you pregnant? So that when he kills that baby inside your womb, you will feel a fraction of the pain that you caused us when you tore our children from our arms! Do you understand me?

June: She's pathological. She's a sociopath. She's toxic. And abusive. She's a monster. And, by the way, a consummate actress.
Mark: What do you think drives her?
June: Hatred. And rage. And underneath all of that, there's nothing but pure misery. And she'll do anything not to feel that way, anything to feel okay, even just for a second. She'll do anything to get what she wants - lie to you, hurt you, rape you. So if you feel yourself getting sucked in by her, run. Run for your life.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Vicky: Still, you must be so scared.
Danielle: And worried. You know, the defense gets to ask questions.
June: I'm not nervous or worried. Or scared. I can't fucking wait.

June: I just, I thought that I'd have more in common with them. Feelings, forgiveness. Journaling? Why aren't they more angry?
Moira: How do you know they're not?

June: [Aunt Irene] hurt you, didn't she?
Luke: Why would you say that?
June: Because she's an aunt.

Moira: Getting over trauma is a bumpy fucking road. You need to be patient till June gets where she's going. You don't know what she's been through.
Luke: Maybe that's the problem.

Judge: Next we will hear the victim statement of June Osborn.
Bailiff: Please raise your right hand.
June: Is there a Bible?
Bailiff: No, ma'am. Not in this court.

Lydia: Commander, it was an accident. Aunt Ruth got in my way. She is often clumsy.
Lawrence: Oh, bull shit. Aunt Ruth has a different story. Not that I care about that one either. But the handmaid - by all accounts she was obedient and compliant. They all are these days. They've known Gilead most of their lives, unlike some. Boy, it must be killing you that June won. Out of your reach, free as a bird. And singing like one, too.
Lydia: Well, she will answer to God.
Lawrence: We'll see. Maybe she'll just wrap that old goat around her little finger too. June won because she knows how to make people like her. People do not like you. They don't. But I can sympathize. People don't like me either.

Lawrence: I know you enjoy inflicting pain.
Lydia: That isn't true.
Lawrence: I'm not judging. Everybody needs a hobby, I guess.

Emily: I feel amazing. I'm glad [Irene]'s dead. And I hope I had something to do with it.

Moira: I think we're all better than the worst thing we've done.

Moira: Anger is a valid emotion. It's necessary, important even, to heal. But we can't live there.
June: Why not? Why does healing have to be the only goal? Why can't we be as furious as we feel? Don't we have that right?

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Lawrence: Hello, June Osborn. And hello, Canada.
June: Thank you for taking the call. How are you?
Lawrence: Oh, I'm peachy. The weather's fine, too. You must want something.
June: I need your help. It's about getting Hannah.
Lawrence: Again with this?
June: She's my daughter.
Lawrence: Yeah, and you're mother of the year. What a nightmare you've been for her. Just leave the poor kid alone.
June: She needs to be with me and her father.
Lawrence: Does she? Honestly. Does she, June? She has a lovely home.
June: That is not her home.
Lawrence: It's all she knows. You want to rip her out of there?
June: No one will love her like we do.
Lawrence: Your love fucks people up. You're a fountain of heartache and trouble.

Lawrence: I'll make you a deal. I'll get you Hannah if you get me ten of the kids you flew out of here. I hear a lot of them are struggling. They miss their parents in Gilead.
June: You know we're never giving those children back.
Lawrence: Come on. That's how you negotiate? The June I know would bargain, at least, to save her daughter. Say, five of those kids for Hannah?
June: I can't. No.
Lawrence: Wow. You've gone soft in Toronto. Must be all that maple syrup.

Fred: Our baby inspires them. Look, we're beacons of hope. Read this.
Serena: Am I allowed now? Now that nobody's watching?

Lydia: To dawdle is an affront to God.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Best line:

Putman: "We will continue to send you our thoughts and our prayers."

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June: I told my story. I got up, and I told them everything. They know what he was, what he did, and how it felt. They made a deal with him anyway. So maybe what he's giving them is more valuable than what he took from me.

Fred: I recognize her. Ryan? Riley, perhaps? I'm sorry.
Woman: Dr. Martina Burnell. She was an oncologist. Her last posting in Gilead was at a Jezebel's in Boston. Is that where you recall seeing her?
Fred: Contrary to what you may have been told, I did not frequent that establishment.
Woman: Of course. Did you have occasion to interact with her on any of your infrequent visits?
Fred: Not in the way you're implying. We spoke. We may have danced.
Woman: Can you confirm that she is deceased? Mr. Waterford, I know this is very difficult, but you are bringing closure to many families.
Fred: I believe Riley passed away in an accident.
Woman: This was an accident at Jezebel's?
Fred: Yes. Commander Johnston, I recall.
Woman: Brian L. Johnston. Did he face charges of any kind?
Fred: Oh, no. I don't believe there was any intent of harm.

June: My mom used to always tell me if you want to know what they believe in? Remember that they bought a shitload more copies of the Old Testament than the New.
Emily: It's a much better read. The righteous will rejoice in vengeance and wash their feet in the blood of the wicked. It's good stuff.

Fred: Out of respect, I hold no ill will, even after those things you said in court.
June: Fred, I think we both know what happened.
Fred Yes, we do. I remember quite well. I do understand that you had to frame things in front of the judge. And your husband. Yeah, there were discomforts in my house, I know, for both of us. More for you, of course. And for that I do have deep regrets.

June: So you want to make a deal for Fred.
Joseph: He's not a used Subaru.

Fred: This is absurd. This is insanity! I have rights! I'm a man, and I have rights!

Tuello: Your government has made us a guarantee that you will be tried under the formal Gilead justice system. You helped write those laws, didn't you? It worked for these women. Now it's your turn.

Fred: Tell me where I am.
Nick: You're in no man's land, commander.
Fred: My God.
Nick: Do not be deceived. God is not to be mocked. For whatever man sows, so shall he reap. You did this to yourself, commander.
Fred: That's a lie. That's idiocy.

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9 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Fred: This is absurd. This is insanity! I have rights! I'm a man, and I have rights!

This was one of the best lines of the show, ever.

The words, the setting, the inevitable end, all of it, just made this line perfection.

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43 minutes ago, Umbelina said:

This was one of the best lines of the show, ever.

The words, the setting, the inevitable end, all of it, just made this line perfection.

And that’s exactly what most women have been feeling about themselves since Gilead began taking hold!  We have rights!

Edited by Cinnabon
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10 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Fred: I recognize her. Ryan? Riley, perhaps? I'm sorry.
Woman: Dr. Martina Burnell. She was an oncologist. Her last posting in Gilead was at a Jezebel's in Boston. Is that where you recall seeing her?
Fred: Contrary to what you may have been told, I did not frequent that establishment.
Woman: Of course. Did you have occasion to interact with her on any of your infrequent visits?
Fred: Not in the way you're implying. We spoke. We may have danced.
Woman: Can you confirm that she is deceased? Mr. Waterford, I know this is very difficult, but you are bringing closure to many families.
Fred: I believe Riley passed away in an accident.
Woman: This was an accident at Jezebel's?
Fred: Yes. Commander Johnston, I recall.
Woman: Brian L. Johnston. Did he face charges of any kind?
Fred: Oh, no. I don't believe there was any intent of harm.

I am SO very glad they revisited this and Jezebels in this episode.

Those looked like outtakes, the scenes with June and Fred, and they were so much more powerful NOW, especially with the story of Dr. Martina Burnell as their lead in.

Also, thank you for doing all of these quotes every season!

Edited by Umbelina
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53 minutes ago, Umbelina said:

This was one of the best lines of the show, ever.

The words, the setting, the inevitable end, all of it, just made this line perfection.

The fact that Fred insists he has rights simply because he's a man shows how much he has been drinking the Gilead Kool-Aid. Sure, he was cooperating in order to buy his freedom and avoid trial, but he was still a believer in their misogynist system.

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"Weak men make the world go round." - June Osborn

I'm going to stitch that quote onto a throw pillow. 

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