The Moms: What's Wrong With These People?

[Rhondinella]

No, seriously.  What's. Wrong?

[missbonnie]

2 words - money talks

[MrsEVH]

I caught two older (2012) episodes of this show yesterday. The moms seem like mean girls from high school.  They're seem to be living vicariously though their daughters. I find it ironic that some of the moms plus the dance teacher are overweight ; some must have had bad plastic surgery or are just ugly.

Edited August 22, 2014 by MrsEVH

[HighQueenEB]

None of the moms are morbidly obese like Abby.  None of them are petite but most women of a certain age, unless blessed with some great genetic makeup, are going to get a little pudgy.  It's patently wrong to group any of the moms into the same category as Abby when it comes to their weight.

[hatchetgirl]

I just don't know. I shake my head over it every time I watch. I'm so disappointed in Holly as she an educator and there is only so much abuse you can explain away.

[takalotti]

I also get really tired of hearing grown women saying "It's not fair!" every three nanoseconds. I don't agree with Abby always bringing up the universal truth that life isn't fair to justify being a dick to kids, but enough with the "It's not fair" whining.

Right behind that is the "My daughter deserves ____" broken record. Entitlement drives me crazy.

[Loves2Dance]

I also get really tired of hearing grown women saying "It's not fair!" every three nanoseconds. I don't agree with Abby always bringing up the universal truth that life isn't fair to justify being a dick to kids, but enough with the "It's not fair" whining.

Right behind that is the "My daughter deserves ____" broken record. Entitlement drives me crazy.

 

I get tired of it too, but it's the script. If the current season proved anything to the non-scripted naysayers; Holly filling the roles of Christi and Kelly proved it times a million. They needed the mom who says it's not fair to cause drama; Christi and Kelly were more of less the same role just BFFs while on together. Had Christi left before Kelly, she would have played the same role Christi did until she left and vice verse. However, the once logical and quietish Holly is now being painted as psycho mom as they made Christi and Kelly seem. 

[trubellcurve]

I think Holly and Abbey have a kinda/sort of understanding in regards to the show and the taping of the show.  I think Holly is able to talk to Abby behind the scenes in a less confrontational manner and verify that Abby know some of this drama is for "the show".  I also think that she expresses this to Melissa.    I  really don't think Holly is a vindictive or mean person but that she really and truly does want Nia to be able to experience certain things like the other dancer's.   This includes the potential to be in TV show's and considered for video's.   

 

Wouldn't it be GREAT if Beyoncé ( or an artist of her ilk/credibility)  decided to put Nia in one of her video's ( even in a small part).   She is not good enough for lead.  

I wonder how THAT would change the show's dynamic.  

 

What am I saying!!!    Abby would just take full credit for this as well.    

 

Back on topic,   It seems like Melani's  mother is taking over Holly's former role as the quiet one who tries to point out logic in a crazy situation, like Holly once did.    

 

So once Nia has "aged out",  are the TPTB going to actually make Melissa display some sort of backbone and not just a sycophant to Abby.  ( yeah, right)

[hqtextbook]

Yeah  I also get tired of Holly using "Nia has been here since she was 3" to justify her sense of entitlement. Honestly, shes just not as strong as the others. They are there to win, not to give tenure...

[trubellcurve]

This is where I get befuddled with the Holly/Nia thing. I kind of don't blame Holly for saying this because I think she and Nia get called out on "social media" and that this prompts Holly to make these statements on the show about her reason for staying loyal to the studio. This is when I don't know if it the signed contract that prompts this or if it is a true statement to Holly's loyalty to the studio. It may very well be that Nia has bonded with one of the instructor's at the studio as well.

Holly started spouting this when Christie and Kelly were around. I noticed that they were persistent in reminding Holly of this fact.

[Darknight]

Yeah I also get tired of Holly using "Nia has been here since she was 3" to justify her sense of entitlement. Honestly, shes just not as strong as the others. They are there to win, not to give tenure...

If Nia been there since three then she should be better than she is now

[leighroda]

So this is really random, but I just realized one of my friends is causally friends with jessalynn... they are both dance teachers so I guess that's how, but my friend lives in kansas while jessalyns studio is in Nebraska ( I think). It was funny she posted something random and jessalynn was in the comments like they are besties, it wasn't a general comment, had nothing to do with dance moms... it was just like any other friend that commented. I know these people have lives outside of tv and aren't even celebrities, but it was just kinda jarring to me, but I'm playing it cool like I don't care with my friend lol.

[dancemomfan]

As a Canadian, I may offend Americans with my comments. I hope not.

I have been watching Dance Moms for several years because I love to see the dancers. I wish they would show more of the dance lessons, performances but NO conflict.

My first question is, 'Is it possible that the mothers are really vicious...or are they being paid to act vicious?' We see mothers like the psychologist mother of the tiniest dancer who is for the most part polite and respectful...unless responding to hateful comments by the others. Nia and Maddie's mothers used to be gracious, diplomatic and peace loving...but no more!  What gives?

What I want to know is if it is common in American dance or music studios or sports teams to lash out at one another and play up one's own child and his or her talents?  And...this is where I may offend, is this an American phenomenon? Up here in Canada we are horrified by Trump's attitude and hate filled speech...which is mirrored in ALDC's parent observation room. I also watch glitzy competition cooking shows  and see Americans who say things like, "My competitor couldn't make a soufflé if his life depended on it. Mine will be the best!". WHO speaks that way? On the Canadian equivalent show, people say, "I'm sure my competitor will do well. She is so good at soufflés and I wish her well." 

Back to Dance Moms; in the US is it normal that parents applaud the loudest for their own children? When my daughters played in violin and piano recitals, of course I applauded but to be modest, respectful and gracious, no louder than anyone else. And as parents we always say something nice about the performances of other children. NEVER would we say anything negative. In Europe, you would also never see this Dance Moms vicious behaviour.  

And as far as Abby goes, her influence and position as a role model is horrendous. She is doing more than harming the children. This is abuse! Bravo to those mothers and daughters who left. It must be fun to be on the show...but at what cost? If Abby isn't abusing the girls and mothers, the mothers lash out and abuse one another...and their children. A very toxic environment. 

I am particularly sorry to see Maddie and Mackenzie's mother saying how wonderful Maddie is. She didnt fall into that trap for a long time. If Maddie were my daughter (and I have a very talented, hard working violinist daughter) I would NEVER let her hear me say that she is the best of the group.  So I want to raise an arrogant, rude brat? 

Please someone let me know if this behaviour...or even a watered down facsimile is common in dance and music studios and sports teams in the United States? I am bewildered.

[EVS]

 Dancemomfan, sadly, in my experience with my son's team sport (he played through high school), what you described is quite common.  While many parents and coaches were truly wonderful, supportive people, we also encountered many that behaved like Abby or the dance moms, or even worse. It seemed like the higher the level skill-wise, the more of those parents we encountered. Fortunately, like the girls on Dance Moms, the children were almost always supportive of each other. (The one time a child on my son's team began treating teammates badly, the coach immediately let him know his behavior would not be tolerated. )

Edited January 15, 2017 by EVS

[leighroda]

It's hard to answer, because it can vary quite a bit regionally/ by studio/ competition/ age...

I'm from Texas and spent most of my youth on dance teams... and yes in dance competitions of this sort the cheering it completely normal, however that is because it's a dance competition, at a piano recital or even a dance recital for that matter the clapping would be more subdued.

Trash talking happens, but not on the scale like on this show, there are whispers, but in the 16 years I speant in dance I never saw parents so much as raise their voices, or declare their child is better out loud (although I should disclaimer that being from Texas there was also a case in the 90s where a girl didn't make cheerleader and the mom was going to arrange for the girl who did make it's mom to be murdered, thinking the girl would then be too distraught to participate... so there are definitely over the top moms) I'm sure it happens and people are crazy competitive, but I don't think it's the weekly degree like shown on dance moms.

[Gigglepuff]

All of the moms are annoying but Yolanda drives me nuts with that indignant, rapid blinking and head shake she does all the time, as if she can't believe someone dared to criticize her or her kid. Eli is such a nice kid, it's a real shame she has a mother like that. 

[OnceSane]

No.  Politics.

[Avon.Blakes7]

Watching the old episodes from season 3 and I'm amazed how much was allowed to go on with the moms' in attendance seeing what made it stressful for the likes of Page! She should have been taken off after the 2nd season; according to Abby, "Kelly wasn't bringing her to class!" There were all these outside opportunities, but no matter "blame it on Abby" or "Abby scared me" if Page forgot her solo and ran off the stage! That woman was sick in the head in so many ways which is why I had little sympathy for her plight! She didn't need the money, but the exposure was all she was looking for her kids! Terrible! I can still see her crying hysterically; "it's not me!" "If it ain't you, who the fk is it Kelly!" ;-(

Edited August 11, 2017 by Avon.Blakes7

[Darknight]

I hate all of them. Holly included. The worse are Melissa Jill, Christie

[Fiero425]

On ‎9‎/‎17‎/‎2017 at 7:09 AM, Darknight said:

I hate all of them. Holly included. The worse are Melissa Jill, Christie

Jill was too entitled and Christi turned her daughter into a Nat'l victim! It's all Abby's fault Chloe's an emotion mess, while Melissa was very calculating and it was all about her daughters; which it's supposed to be about! Holly just got bad after the 2 "cranks" were gone by Season 5! It was a free for all with Jill taking over the bully role and telling everyone what to do! ;-)

Edited February 7, 2018 by Fiero425

[SevenCostanza]

The mothers are awful.  I remember an early episode when a talent agent came to interview all the kids and in Melissa's talkng head she kept saying over and over how the agent was there to see

Maddie.  Not even Maddie and Mackenzie, just Maddie.   Way to play favorites Melissa.

[Fiero425]

On ‎3‎/‎31‎/‎2018 at 7:18 AM, SevenCostanza said:

The mothers are awful.  I remember an early episode when a talent agent came to interview all the kids and in Melissa's talkng head she kept saying over and over how the agent was there to see

Maddie.  Not even Maddie and Mackenzie, just Maddie.   Way to play favorites Melissa.

Melissa was that elevated "starry-eyed" delusional MOM & at another level from Holly and Jill that expected to be treated as if their kids were performing at a higher level when they really never "got there!" Both a step behind at times, both concentrated so hard on what they'd have to do, and were very stiff until the last days of the show! ;-)

Edited April 2, 2018 by Fiero425

[Yokosmom]

Quote

My first question is, 'Is it possible that the mothers are really vicious...or are they being paid to act vicious?' 

I've always assumed that a great deal was scripted.  God forbid that they provide more dancing.  I know that the producers wanted Drama, but I don't understand why they thought the audience wanted nonstop bitchery from the mothers, as opposed to more dance from the kids.

[Fiero425]

22 minutes ago, Yokosmom said:

I've always assumed that a great deal was scripted.  God forbid that they provide more dancing.  I know that the producers wanted Drama, but I don't understand why they thought the audience wanted nonstop bitchery from the mothers, as opposed to more dance from the kids.

Well that certainly was the case; nonstop b!tchery! They weren't even consistent in their complaining! First Abby was past it and should get out of the business and within weeks, Abby made sure Maddie won an audition with a casting director! They're so FOS and I'm so embarrassed for them either way; scripted or really outrageous b!tches! ;-)

[DaisyFields500]

I was initially attracted to this show because of the dance element.  I had to remind myself a lot that the show is called Dance Moms, so it was supposed to evolve around them.  I know for me as well that it got tiring hearing the moms argue about silly stuff, especially when the mom’s kid had no talent.  It was laughable at their delusions and predictable arguments.  I am not embarrassed for the mothers; they got paid.  I constantly amused myself while watching by predicting what’s real and what’s not. 

Edited April 5, 2018 by DaisyFields500

[Pippinspeach]

I disagree that the moms were inconsistent in their criticism of Abby.  I don't remember any of them saying she was past it or should get out of the business.  If they did, it would have been about choreography, which is an entirely different thing from her promotion of whichever dancer she decided was the best and yammered on about nonstop until she had "shoved her down everyone's throats enough." (Abby's own words, when she admitted to the favoritism and promotion of Maddie in season 6).   Abby absolutely did work behind the scenes to promote Maddie and only Maddie.  The other moms weren't paranoid or jealous, they were right all along. Abby admitted to all of it.  Watching the first few seasons again, it's strikingly obvious.

I'm really surprised at some of the venom directed at the girls on this forum.  I don't think it's right to blame the girls for any of this when the truth of the matter was that all of them were emotionally and mentally abused by Abby, including Maddie. Time after time, respected professionals have said in interviews that these girls were being traumatized by  her. Even Cheryl Burke said several times that the older girls were traumatized and that was why they were having such trouble dancing.  Of course it was!  Nia, Kendall and Chloe were showing signs of PTSD in the episodes with Aisha and Cheryl.... and somehow they're attacked for being "entitled" or "mediocre."  How do you open yourself up and be vulnerable enough to emote in a dance when you don't feel safe to do so and know your teacher doesn't support you and is a psychotic mean girl who never went past the mental age of 13 years old? How do you relax enough to find that ability again when you know the producers or Abby could wreck it all in a heartbeat?

I guess I just don't understand... how is it okay to blame the girls?  Abby was the adult, the so-called professional, and she crossed the line many times.  To this day, she apparently feels no remorse over how she treated the girls or her monstrous manipulation of Maddie.  Worst of all, she took a respected legacy in the dance world (her mother's decades-long career) and completely trashed it.  Even the Pittsburgh studio her mother opened is pretty much history.  Abby is surrounded by suck ups, and as soon as the possibility of the show goes away, so will they. She is alone and has no one to blame but herself.

Edited November 27, 2018 by Pippinspeach
paragraphs & corrected a typo