You Have Been Chopped: What Not to Do and Other Tropes

[Julia]

Oh, har, this is my new go-to board when I need to laugh.

 

My only addition is that one time a man brought his own homemade chocolate nibs in his pocket and tossed a few into his appetizer:  "I put these in everything I cook!"

 

Don't do that.

 

Jacques Torres. One of his stores is down the block from my office, and seriously, he can throw nibs into anything he wants, as far as I'm concerned. 

[Totale]

Oh, har, this is my new go-to board when I need to laugh.

 

My only addition is that one time a man brought his own homemade chocolate nibs in his pocket and tossed a few into his appetizer:  "I put these in everything I cook!"

 

Don't do that.

 

But he puts LSD in them!

[cee]

Molecular gastronomy is more likely to annoy than impress the judges. 

[cooksdelight]

And foam. I don't want foam on my food. It looks like cat vomit.

[grisgris]

Toeing that fine line as to when to get too familiar/cutesy with the judges vs. knowing "your place" before the revered. Sometimes flattering the judges works, but it can also backfire.  Marcus, Aarrrrrrrone and Alex seem to like being pandered to. Chris, Marc and Marcus, not so much. It usually backfires with Geoffrey, it seems.

[Rick Kitchen]

If Ted or one of the judges say that part of an ingredient is toxic (I'm thinking cherimoya seeds), for heaven's sake don't include that part on your plate.

 

 

I was watching tonight and all of the contestants were fire fighter cooks, and one of them served raw ghost pepper.  Yeah, that's almost deadly.

[Totale]

Never, ever drizzle truffle oil on a plate.

 

I watched a Jacques Pepin show yesterday where he did just that.  Of course, he also shaved some real truffle on top. Over supermarket shelf stable gnocchi, which he said he always kept in his pantry should surprise guests arrive....

[buttersister]

Jacques, you've been chopped. By these TV food game show judges who couldn't sharpen your knives.

[potatoradio]

Put the foam whipper thing down. You'll end up with a shot of yourself fumbling frantically with the top, then sighing and saying you'll just have to serve it as a sauce, although your foam was the most important thing on the plate. Oh, the trauma! Because you would have won for sure if you made your dead relative's bread pudding with hotdog foam, but because you can't screw on the top to the whipper, you lost because of a drizzle of hot dog sauce. You suck. Off my teevee. And my planet.

[canter]

The judges will question you if you don't use every flavor of the Neapolitan ice cream.

Yes, but then when a basket ingredient is 3 different types of dim sum dumplings and you use all 3, they'll insist that the proper thing to do would have been to select ONE variety to incorporate into your dish. Obviously.

[Julia]

Yes, but then when a basket ingredient is 3 different types of dim sum dumplings and you use all 3, they'll insist that the proper thing to do would have been to select ONE variety to incorporate into your dish. Obviously.

 

Also, if you choose to make something asian themed, it's creative and daring, unless you're visibly from an asian heritage. If you're visibly from an asian heritage, failing to make something asian themed means you're inauthentic and running away from your true inner self.

Edited September 18, 2014 by Julia

[PrincessLuceval]

Unless you are Asian and you make something from your Asian heritage, then you'll be chastised for not going beyond your comfort zone. 

 

[Julia]

Particularly with Alex. She doesn't cook a lot of eastern european food herself, but she has an eagle eye for other people not cooking the food of their ancestors, at least if those ancestors are asian. I bet her husband had to feed her soft food with a spoon for a week after Kristen Kish won Top Chef cooking classical french.

[MajorWoody]

1 - Don't get in a pissing match with one of the judges, especially Scott. You'll never win that one.

2 - Don't tell the other finalist in the break room after dessert that you "got it in the bag" or some similar boast that it is no contest. That is as much a kiss of death as giving Scott a plate of raw red onions and then arguing with him!

[CPP83]

Put a hair on Chris Santos' plate and he very well may stuff you into an oven and bake you, oh and you're likely to get chopped. And just in general if you start bleeding all over your station and then tell the judges you're pretty sure no blood got into their food they are incredibly unlikely to believe you or to try the food. Also never try to pull any of that 5 second rule crap with the judges, they will evil eye you to death and then most certainly chop you with vengeance.

[Taeolas]

Well to be fair, in a Studio with dozens of people walking around, cables dragging across the floor and through who knows how many spills, I wouldn't take a 1 second rule, let alone 5 second rule. Sure they probably wash the floors off between rounds, or at least between episodes; but the cables and shoes have still walked through a lot.

 

If it was something uncooked and easily rinsed/washed off, then I'd be fine (and the judges have been fine with it in the past), but a cooked product or something that otherwise can't be washed, forget about it. 

[xaxat]

One of my favorite moments on the show was an episode where a chef told the judges that he hadn't plated something he had dropped on the floor. Right after he said it, the producers showed a Zapruder film style, grainy, black and white, slow motion replay of him picking something up off the floor. 

Edited October 6, 2014 by xaxat

[Bruinsfan]

I was watching tonight and all of the contestants were fire fighter cooks, and one of them served raw ghost pepper.  Yeah, that's almost deadly.

Unless Maneet is the judge. Then it's "I feel the dish could have been more flavorful." [squirts pepper spray into mouth like Binaca]

[Donny Ketchum]

Apparently, you can't cut yourself, because I just watched an episode from almost a year ago in which a woman got chopped just for that.  Granted, she thought it'd gotten into the food, so the judges couldn't taste it, but that was apparently enough to chop her.

Edited January 9, 2015 by Donny Ketchum

[rujasu]

If you cut your hand, immediately put a glove on, and get rid of any ingredients and tools you were using at the time, you're fine.  If there's any chance of blood in the food, you're done.  Technically, they won't DQ you, but they won't taste the food so you're only getting graded on 2/3 of the categories.  When you get an automatic zero on taste, that's almost always impossible to recover from.

[cooksdelight]

See my post in the older episodes thread. Not only did a guy drop his food on the floor and then pick it up and continue with it, they knew it and advanced him to the dessert round.

[GHScorpiosRule]

  If there's any chance of blood in the food, you're done.  Technically, they won't DQ you, but they won't taste the food so you're only getting graded on 2/3 of the categories.  When you get an automatic zero on taste, that's almost always impossible to recover from.

 

I don't know why Ted keeps telling contestants just because one has their blood in the food, it's an automatic disqualification, because someone else could have really really screwed up; because in all the episodes I've seen so far, where this has happened, the person who cut themselves and got blood in the food? ALWAYS chopped.

[rujasu]

See my post in the older episodes thread. Not only did a guy drop his food on the floor and then pick it up and continue with it, they knew it and advanced him to the dessert round.

 

I saw this happen in another episode, some guy dropped a pork chop on the floor.  Pretty sure he was chopped that round, but I think there was a side or something on his plate which they did eat.  I guess they figure ground contact is a lesser sin than blood contact or failing to make use of all basket ingredients.

 

I don't know why Ted keeps telling contestants just because one has their blood in the food, it's an automatic disqualification, because someone else could have really really screwed up; because in all the episodes I've seen so far, where this has happened, the person who cut themselves and got blood in the food? ALWAYS chopped.

 

Well, technically, someone else could have left a fingertip & used tissue on the plate and topped it with raw onions, and they can only chop one person.  If it was an auto-DQ, and two people did it in the entree round, then what would you do?  Watch one person make a dessert?

 

But really, the primary reason for "it's not an automatic DQ" is so they can nitpick someone else's dish, insinuate that it's a closer decision than you think, and try to build at least a little tension going into the commercial break.  It's for show.

[Kiara Jenkins]

In the dessert round, don't make french toast. The judges hate that, because it's a breakfast item, not a dessert. It may taste good and be sweet, but you still won't win. Crepes are fine, even bread pudding, which they've had a million times, because those qualify as desserts, but not french toast, so stop making it, or you'll get chopped for sure.

[NikSac]

Although after seeing tonight's All Stars episode, I'm thinking french toast might just beat a grilled cheese sandwich.

[Julia]

In the dessert round, don't make french toast. The judges hate that, because it's a breakfast item, not a dessert. It may taste good and be sweet, but you still won't win. Crepes are fine, even bread pudding, which they've had a million times, because those qualify as desserts, but not french toast, so stop making it, or you'll get chopped for sure.

The thing is, though, the difference between french toast and bread pudding is an oven.

[NikSac]

The thing is, though, the difference between french toast and bread pudding is an oven.

 

Plus I'd gladly eat either one as a dessert if it was good.  A grilled cheese sandwich as a dessert, not so much.

[niklj]

Don't have a messy plate even if the basket ingredient look like entrails, you ran out of time, and the judges are yelling "get it on the plate, just get it on the plate"!

This one kills me--I hate how much emphasis the judges put on appearance. "THIS WAS THE BEST THING I EVER ATE but it was a little messy, what is this garnish on my plate, you're going home." Or "This didn't taste too good, BUT THE PLATING WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, RESTAURANT-QUALITY!" Like, is this a cooking competition or what?

[Whodunnit]

"If Ted or one of the judges say that part of an ingredient is toxic (I'm thinking cherimoya seeds), for heaven's sake don't include that part on your plate"

I've literally eaten hundreds of cherimoyas as a child where we just had it skinless and chopped in chunks with the large, black, obvious seeds in situ. Never had a problem, even the one very embarrassing time that I accidentally swallowed a seed. These things are nowhere near as lethal as Chopped has made them out to be; they're about as deadly as peaches (if you crack open the pip of a peach and eat the inside, you' ll get a bellyache).

ETA: Those seeds are like pebbles, you're in more danger of cracking a tooth than actually breaking one open.

Edited August 9, 2023 by Whodunnit

[Rammchick]

Well, peach kernels are lethal, but you have to eat about 15 of them 😏