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Meet The Putmans - General Discussion


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21 hours ago, Hero said:

The younger son looks so sad all the time. I feel like he wants to move out and live his own life, but he is controlling, creepy dad has this hold on him that he can't shake off. 

Is he the tall doctor son? That one looks like he wants to get the hell out of dodge and realizes how fucked up his family really is. The married in son in law almost looks like he knows how screwed he is, but knows no way is his wife ever going to cut the cord. 

18 hours ago, pinkelephant3 said:

If anyone wants to see how people who know the putmans really feel check out the comment section... https://tv-release-dates.com/meet-the-putmans-season-1-9143/

Thank you! I've been trying to piece together the what's sure to be a messed up backstory and the comments were telling and filled in a lot of gaps. I find it interesting most of the positive comments claim how godly and good they are. I'm willing to bet a giant family, living all together, claiming how much they love god and church, isn't going to get much pushback from church members until they seriously cross the members. 

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Just now, Fostersmom said:

I'm willing to bet a giant family, living all together, claiming how much they love god and church, isn't going to get much pushback from church members until they seriously cross the members. 

 And stop donating to that church. ;)

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31 minutes ago, Fostersmom said:

Is he the tall doctor son? That one looks like he wants to get the hell out of dodge and realizes how fucked up his family really is. The married in son in law almost looks like he knows how screwed he is, but knows no way is his wife ever going to cut the cord. 

Thank you! I've been trying to piece together the what's sure to be a messed up backstory and the comments were telling and filled in a lot of gaps. I find it interesting most of the positive comments claim how godly and good they are. I'm willing to bet a giant family, living all together, claiming how much they love god and church, isn't going to get much pushback from church members until they seriously cross the members. 

Yes, the tall doctor son. I can see it in his face how badly he wants to go. He should just  leave. What is his dad going to do? 

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Do son doctor and son-in-law resident work in the same hospital? I know that residents/interns work longer hours than doctors, but is son doctor making that same 1.5 hour long drive.

I find it unbelievable that they hadn't figured out the bathroom situation before. They seem relatively well-off and have the skills to do it relatively cheap.

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The comments on this guy are disturbing. Honestly just having that many people under one roof, & all those children, with just 2 bathrooms, seems abusive to me in & of itself. I wonder what will happen when papa patriarch finally kicks it. Will they all move out & finally be free to live their own lives, or will they be scared to death & not even know what to do... someday they have to grow up & take the reins for themselves.

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Why does the entire family need to see the baby fresh out of the womb? I can see the baby's father, brothers and maybe the grandparents being there. Who the hell wants 15,000 little kid cousins running around with their germy hands and snotty noses? Have they ever heard of taking a picture and texting it to the rest of the family?  

 

I would hate delivering a baby then suddenly it's not mine anymore. According to that family that baby also belongs to the sisters in law, brothers, parents, nieces and nephews, etc. 

Edited by Purerockfury
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40 minutes ago, Purerockfury said:

Why does the entire family need to see the baby fresh out of the womb? I can see the baby's father, brothers and maybe the grandparents being there. Who the hell wants 15,000 little kid cousins running around with their germy hands and snotty noses? Have they ever heard of taking a picture and texting it to the rest of the family?  

 

I would hate delivering a baby then suddenly it's not mine anymore. According to that family that baby also belongs to the sisters in law, brothers, parents, nieces and nephews, etc. 

I completely agree!  A baby and parents need alone bonding time and a nice quiet environment.  Have a grandmother sneak in after they are home a few days is ok if she is there to be a support by doing laundry, fixing meals quietly and giving the new family space.

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If they aren't Mormons, my next guess would be Pentecostal or Independent Baptist. Possibly also the parents became born again Christians- is that the same as Evangelical. I am in a highly Catholic area and my husband was raised Catholic and I've never heard anyone talk about their faith the way these folks do. Plus, the father being "head of the household" and so domineering leads me to thing it's something similar to what the Duggars believe, though less extreme. 

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Can you imagine how filthy the two bathrooms are after just one day? Who gets the fun job of cleaning those???? 

This family, ugh. They are the most co-dependent people who have every crossed my screen. It's like the adult children are prisoners, and have resigned to following Bill Sr. wherever he commands. He can tout "traditional family values," all he wants, but it reads more like brainwashing, control, and emotional blackmail. He reminds me of a cult leader. 

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5 hours ago, EastCoast4Life said:

Can you imagine how filthy the two bathrooms are after just one day? Who gets the fun job of cleaning those???? 

 

I don't know, but my guess is that it is a female member of the family.

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18 hours ago, jumper sage said:

I completely agree!  A baby and parents need alone bonding time and a nice quiet environment.  Have a grandmother sneak in after they are home a few days is ok if she is there to be a support by doing laundry, fixing meals quietly and giving the new family space.

I have to admit, when the daughter was upset and saying the baby wasn't latching while she was breast feeding, my very first thought was of course not, poor baby is ripped away from you and passed around like a new toy at every given moment. I highly doubt she got much, if any, alone time to bond with the baby, even in the hospital. The Putman circus was taking precedence over silly things like bonding. 

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What was extremely disturbing to me was when the crazy dad was talking to the others in the family and said "She's going to talk about how much she misses her husband and wants to leave". He then instructed them to discourage her from leaving. This is sick. Its like watching abductees and the abductor.

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I've been looking for reactions in faces of the other adults & it really does look like the patriarch is abusive & controlling. There's a creepy vibe about him & when I watch the others I sense either fear &/or control & they're trying very hard to seem normal & happy. The whole family is very 'on' & aware of their reactions & how they might look to the audience.

I HATED watching that family take over the waiting room in the hospital. I thought maybe that was for the show, because do they really ALL show up at the hospital every time another kid is born? If so I would think the hospital would've banned them by now. There are rules for a reason. She was trying to get skin to skin time & they wouldn't even leave her alone. That poor baby was being exposed to so many germs, as well as constantly being torn away from his mother with no regard to their peace or privacy.  Who knows if they even washed their hands before touching that baby. And one of the SIL's actually kissed the baby - I think on the cheek. I was horrified; the amount of germs she just plastered on a newborn with no immune system - WTF??

Then they were syringe feeding him, because he couldn't latch. Of course he couldn't he's probably so damned stressed & confused. The kicker to me was them acting like her freakin' savior - they were doing so much & it was all for her, to make her healing easier, blah blah blah. They were intrusive, obnoxious, uncaring & a health risk to both.

The adults are ALL a bunch of ass wipes with a big, abusive douche bag in charge running the show.

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48 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I've been looking for reactions in faces of the other adults & it really does look like the patriarch is abusive & controlling. There's a creepy vibe about him & when I watch the others I sense either fear &/or control & they're trying very hard to seem normal & happy. The whole family is very 'on' & aware of their reactions & how they might look to the audience.

I HATED watching that family take over the waiting room in the hospital. I thought maybe that was for the show, because do they really ALL show up at the hospital every time another kid is born? If so I would think the hospital would've banned them by now. There are rules for a reason. She was trying to get skin to skin time & they wouldn't even leave her alone. That poor baby was being exposed to so many germs, as well as constantly being torn away from his mother with no regard to their peace or privacy.  Who knows if they even washed their hands before touching that baby. And one of the SIL's actually kissed the baby - I think on the cheek. I was horrified; the amount of germs she just plastered on a newborn with no immune system - WTF??

Then they were syringe feeding him, because he couldn't latch. Of course he couldn't he's probably so damned stressed & confused. The kicker to me was them acting like her freakin' savior - they were doing so much & it was all for her, to make her healing easier, blah blah blah. They were intrusive, obnoxious, uncaring & a health risk to both.

The adults are ALL a bunch of ass wipes with a big, abusive douche bag in charge running the show.

Manipulation at its finest. We will take care of you, how lucky you are with all of this help, redecorate a room for you. Now she will have guilt if and when she wants to leave. Horrible.

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8 minutes ago, Annb67 said:

Manipulation at its finest. We will take care of you, how lucky you are with all of this help, redecorate a room for you. Now she will have guilt if and when she wants to leave. Horrible.

Yes, you nailed it... it's so disturbing.

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These people are straight damn nuts. It is beyond my comprehension that the four f'ed up adult children are batting 1,000 when it comes to finding equally f'ed up spouses. I can maybe accept that the B kidults have been brainwashed their entire lives and so they are steeped in the kook aid something fierce. But to each find a spouse willing to voluntarily cross the threshold of crazy and never look back?  I. Can't. Even. 

Let's talk about Jen...you know, the one whose description/personality is a hand gesture for f's sake. This is a woman who is 4 years her husbands senior and not a flighty young girl, who was gainfully employed, who actually said to herself, 'screw this job. Papa P turned me on with that picture of his 14 year old kid who is about to turn 20. I don't recognize that he's crazy as a loon when he's standing right in front of me so I'll go along with his suggestion I date his son. Even better, in a couple of weeks when Papa P suggests I move my 24 year old ass in to the house and room with his 13 year old daughter, I'll jump on that like white on rice.' Are you kidding me?!?! How did Jen come to that point in her life, where she traded in some sort of normalcy and independence for codependency on steroids? What did her parents think? Did no one, friend or foe, try to help a girl out before it was too late? 

I'm like all of you...full of unanswered questions and soon to be bursting with more as the episodes air. 

Edited to add:

Blake seems to be ready to bolt at any moment. Is it because he is human and wants to keep his physician grade pay to himself/his wife and kids? Is it because he is sick and damn tired of being the most educated and most crapped on member of the family? Is it because he, like Jamie, is sick of the long commute daily? Is it because his medical training opened his eyes to the mental illness of his father and he wants to get far away before Papa P loses it since he knows a 'break' is a matter of when not if? Is it because he is sick and tired of having to crap at work because he doesn't have regular access to the bathroom at home? Is it because he doesn't want the cameras in his home and the national airing of their dirty laundry, literally and figuratively, because he may lose patients as a result? There are SO many reasons for Blake's visibly apparent disdain for his home life and I feel sorry for the guy. More so than any of the others. 

Edited by HahYallDoin
Needed to add more questions to remain unanswered LOL
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These people are straight damn nuts. It is beyond my comprehension that the four f'ed up adult children are batting 1,000 when it comes to finding equally f'ed up spouses. I can maybe accept that the B kidults have been brainwashed their entire lives and so they are steeped in the kook aid something fierce. But to each find a spouse willing to voluntarily cross the threshold of crazy and never look back?  I. Can't. Even. 

Let's talk about Jen...you know, the one whose description/personality is a hand gesture for f's sake. This is a woman who is 4 years her husbands senior and not a flighty young girl, who was gainfully employed, who actually said to herself, 'screw this job. Papa P turned me on with that picture of his 14 year old kid who is about to turn 20. I don't recognize that he's crazy as a loon when he's standing right in front of me so I'll go along with his suggestion I date his son. Even better, in a couple of weeks when Papa P suggests I move my 24 year old ass in to the house and room with his 13 year old daughter, I'll jump on that like white on rice.' Are you kidding me?!?! How did Jen come to that point in her life, where she traded in some sort of normalcy and independence for codependency on steroids? What did her parents think? Did no one, friend or foe, try to help a girl out before it was too late? 

I'm like all of you...full of unanswered questions and soon to be bursting with more as the episodes air. 

BTW: 

Blake seems to be ready to bolt at any moment. Is it because he is human and wants to keep his physician grade pay to himself/his wife and kids? Is it because he is sick and damn tired of being the most educated and most crapped on member of the family? Is it because he, like Jamie, is sick of the long commute daily? Is it because his medical training opened his eyes to the mental illness of his father and he wants to get far away before Papa P loses it since he knows a 'break' is a matter of when not if? Is it because he is sick and tired of having to crap at work because he doesn't have regular access to the bathroom at home? Is it because he doesn't want the cameras in his home and the national airing of their dirty laundry, literally and figuratively, because he may lose patients as a result? There are SO many reasons for Blake's visibly apparent disdain for his home life and I feel sorry for the guy. More so than any of the others. 

 P.S. I posted this accidentally on the other topic re: who the biggest attention whore is, when it really should have been posted here.  

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Even worse, Jen is actually 6 years older than Billy. She was 26 and working for the family business when Dad Putman fixed her up with his son. I'm wondering why he wasn't working there already as he was 20 and it doesn't appear he or his second brother went to college, both got married young. Actually, the youngest brother married at 18 or 19. So not only were all of the kids encouraged to never leave home, they were also all encouraged to work in the family business too. Except Blake, who had higher aspirations, becoming a doctor. 

One problem the show may have is the ages of the kids. They're mostly all in school and I'm not sure of the reality show laws in Michigan. But they also have to be careful as to how the kids are presented on the show, that they aren't made fun of by their peers. I can see this happening especially when the older ones go to middle school. Another problem is that the patriarch, Bill Putnam, isn't that appealing. When the Duggar's show started, Michelle Duggar was the sweetheart of the tv series and she was the one who kept having all of the babies. Grandma Barbara doesn't seem to have too much to say yet, and the daugthers/daughter in law have yet to really show their personalities, except for Blair. So if the show is going to focus on the adults, there has to be one who really appeals to the audience. I'm not sure this will last more than a couple of seasons. 

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13 minutes ago, CarolMK said:

 

Even worse, Jen is actually 6 years older than Billy. She was 26 and working for the family business when Dad Putman fixed her up with his son

 

Thanks for the correction on the age difference. Makes it that much worse that she had 'lived a little'( whatever that means to her) and earned a check that was hers to manage but hey, it's all good because it was ordained by Papa P. Blech! 

I thought Papa P said Jen worked for the accounting firm who handled the P's business needs. She was the receptionist, I believe. I can't handle going back through the TLCgo episode to confirm though...too many commercials on loop.

If I am correct on that part of the story, I guess it must be that Billy was working for his dad. 

Also, did y'all throw up in your mouth a little bit when Brandon and Papa P had to exchange a hug for the successful razing of a silo(?) on their property where the new home is being built? I mean, no fist bump, no high fives, no pat on the back. Nope, just had to be a full on hug right then, right there...in front of guys who I assume are their employees. How do those guys keep their eyeballs in their heads? 

I don't like his hands on approach with the DIL's and the comfortable way they seem to sidle up to him and he to them. I couldn't get over the arm around her shoulder, snuggled together on the couch way he and can't remember her name sat when Papa P was explaining to Blair that he would decide when she and the kids could return to their 'temporary' apt. and Jamie. 

Papa P also enjoyed ordering Blake to examine the 4 sick kids that they had just taken on a marathon grocery shopping trip. He told Blake to quarantine them to 'my room' which begs the question...does the King allow the Queen to share the room? Does she get use of a couple of drawers in the dresser and then has to store her other clothing in another area? I mean, wtf, they aren't newlyweds so he has had plenty of time to get used to calling it 'our room.' He further insulted the womenfolk and other adults by telling Blake to leave instructions for how to treat the sick 'ens when he headed out to work. Do these mothers, including his wife, not have a brain cell left to figure it out? Oh wait, they do...it's just that Papa P loves to hear himself talk and wants to rule the roost 24/7. 

The family's collective cutie pie/Kumbaya mentality gets really old, really quickly. They have tension and secrets bubbling below the surface. It's just a matter of time. Meanwhile, we can all gawk at the freakishness of their arrangement and thank God it's them and not us! 

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I just watched on my DVR last night.  Don't think I will tape it again.  That Papa Putman is full of himself isn't he?  What pushed me over the edge was his statement when he was told that hospital policy only allowed 2 visitors (for his daughter who had just had a baby).  His response, if I remember it correctly, was "Putman policy supercedes hospital policy".  They all should have been thrown out of the room.  Here is a woman who just had a caesarean section, has a new born baby with her, and all of these people are barging into her room.  All of the grandchildren just HAVE to see their new cousin (according to papa Putman).  What about all the germs those kids and adults could be carrying into the room?  There is a reason hospitals have rules regarding number of and ages of visitors.  But Papa Putman thinks he is king of all he surveys so the heck with what anyone else thinks.  I think I can handle the Duggars better than this family.  Don't know how those kids managed to find spouses willing to go along with their father's  idea of the ideal family.

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I find it hard to feel sorry for any of the adults because they really do have the option to leave, especially the ones who don't work with the dad, like Blake. For crap's sake, open an account on the sly with your doctor's salary & move the family out - it can be done little by little secretly & then boom, they're gone. They just need a plan. And if the guy who calls himself dad of all comes after them there are laws in place about harassment. First thing to do is get a lawyer on board; they CAN leave. Those kids can't, though, & I do feel sorry for them.

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17 hours ago, HahYallDoin said:

These people are straight damn nuts. It is beyond my comprehension that the four f'ed up adult children are batting 1,000 when it comes to finding equally f'ed up spouses. I can maybe accept that the B kidults have been brainwashed their entire lives and so they are steeped in the kook aid somethin

Blake seems to be ready to bolt at any moment. Is it because he is human and wants to keep his physician grade pay to himself/his wife and kids? Is it because he is sick and damn tired of being the most educated and most crapped on member of the family? Is it because he, like Jamie, is sick of the long commute daily? Is it because his medical training opened his eyes to the mental illness of his father and he wants to get far away before Papa P loses it since he knows a 'break' is a matter of when not if? Is it because he is sick and tired of having to crap at work because he doesn't have regular access to the bathroom at home? Is it because he doesn't want the cameras in his home and the national airing of their dirty laundry, literally and figuratively, because he may lose patients as a result? There are SO many reasons for Blake's visibly apparent disdain for his home life and I feel sorry for the guy. More so than any of the others. 

 

If I had a gun pointed at my head & I had to chose a physician between Blake & Granny from the The Beverly Hillbillies I'd chose Granny. She was a feisty matriarch.

Edited by ariel
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Well the new father (Jamie? Too many names for me to keep up with so far) thanked his wife, especially for having a boy. He took his wife's last name so why would having a boy be such a big deal? This isn't the 1800's where he needs farm help. 

I also slightly cringed, when he was driving his wife home from the hospital, that he compared the birth of his newborn son to Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom movie when they guy went it and ripped the heart out of the chest of his foe. Really? What a lovely visual to give your new mother hormonal wife. Then again he is a Dr and we in the medical field can have a dark humor. 

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Can't anyone think for themselves in this family?!? Parents are supposed to encourage their grown children to go out and live their lives, think for themselves, and be self-sufficient.  This patriarch has set up this arrangement for his own selfish needs, certainly not for his kids' best interest. He is disabling them to think they can't take care of themselves. They all seem to be brainwashed! One day the adult children will rebel and regret that they were in this crazy "cult-like" situation. What an oppressive life-style!

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3 hours ago, CatLynn said:

Can't anyone think for themselves in this family?!? Parents are supposed to encourage their grown children to go out and live their lives, think for themselves, and be self-sufficient.  This patriarch has set up this arrangement for his own selfish needs, certainly not for his kids' best interest. He is disabling them to think they can't take care of themselves. They all seem to be brainwashed! One day the adult children will rebel and regret that they were in this crazy "cult-like" situation. What an oppressive life-style!

Quote

This is what the patriarch ( and full quiver) movements are all about.  Keep the women barefoot & pregnant & the women, many children uneducated & scared of the world around them.

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I get the creepy past abuse/inappropriate/controlling whatever vibe from the father. I just do. Nothing I can quite put my finger in except it's just a vibe I get. It isn't that they all live in the same house and it isn't even the kiss on the lips he gave his daughter. Both of these things are perfectly normal in some cultures and I think we Americans tend to sexualize harmless affection but I just feel uncomfortable watching the father and feel nervous for his grandchildren ....there I said it. I know there isn't anything to back up this feeling other than it being a feeling of something being off and TLC LOVES love put families on the air without doing even the slightest bit of research into their history. 

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Why couldn't the mother or one of the sister-in-laws go stay with the recovering Daughter at her own apartment -- so that her husband can have a chance to bond with this newborn too?!!  Oh wait, that would be allowing another woman to escape the Compound.  Can't have that.

The Daughter wants back into the Compound badly....  I can't imagine that being healthy for their marriage.

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My bet is that the adults aren't even able to get a hand on their own money. The King has only HIS name on the account. If they were yo start taking any money out of their own paychecks he would know. I still want to know how you would even agree to that. Very weird. TCL you totally outdid yourself this time. No, that isn't a compliment.

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13 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Why couldn't the mother or one of the sister-in-laws go stay with the recovering Daughter at her own apartment -- so that her husband can have a chance to bond with this newborn too?!!  Oh wait, that would be allowing another woman to escape the Compound.  Can't have that.

The Daughter wants back into the Compound badly....  I can't imagine that being healthy for their marriage.

This is exactly what I thought!  Let new mom be with her newborn in her own home with her husband.  This family skeeves me out so much.  And aside from the extreme dysfunction, co-dependency, and super controlling creepy Dad bossing everyone around, I can't get over how disorganized and chaotic they are.  I don't like the Duggars any better but they have meal times down to a science.  Streamlined and orderly.  The Putman adults are all running around making too much food, mess everywhere, kids everywhere.  I think they said they spend up to a thousand dollars A WEEK on groceries!  This is insane!  This type of "family" is exactly why Costco exists.  I wonder if they even have a budget?  Probably not.  They're so disorganized.  It actually made me queasy watching all those little Putman kids grabbing raw meat with their bare hands and making skewers.  That house and everyone one in it has just got to be covered in germs.  So icky.  

Edited by WhatsUpDummy
ETA: correct spelling mistsakes
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Another thing that got me with that room for Blair is that it's right off the kitchen and next to 1 of 2 bathrooms! How in the heck is she supposed to get any rest at all?? They may as well have popped a tent in the middle of the living room for her. Just thinking of that environment to convelesce makes me twitchy AF.

Along with having a sis-in-law or mom stay with her at her apartment, the other 2 boys could have stayed at the big house for a week or so, or a night here and there. It's not like it would affect them much. It's just so wrong that Jamie doesn't get to have any time with his new baby.

I hate myself because I know I'm going to watch the new episode tonight. 

Edited by Squirrely
Typo
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This guy has serious mental issues. Scary. I dont buy he puts himself last. To the contrary, he puts himself first. He wants people being dramatic, he's a know it all first class abuser. Something bad is going to happen if it hasn't already. 

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Many of the adults seem to have some health issues.  Weight is a big one for some of them.  More than a few of them could stand to drop 20 or more pounds and they would all be a fair bit healthier,

Atrial fibrillation is manageable, but anyone with heart problems needs to monitor themselves carefully.  Dad should start listening to the son whose medical degree Dad paid for.

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Wow, are these people off-putting.  Dad, in particular, is completely out of control and appears to have no respect for boundaries or his grown kids' autonomy.  The scene where he was on the ground screaming up at the kids on the roof of the house in progress was just plain not fun to watch.  I can call certain members of my own family if I need a quick fix of indiscriminate bitching and bellowing to the heavens.  And Dad can absolutely spare me the "I give so much to my family that I don't have time to tend to my own health" bullshit.  Nothing gets my tiny violin out and onto my shoulder faster than hearing grown-ass adults spout that kind of nonsense.  He has a legitimate heart condition.  He can either respect it and tend to it or it will tell him who's boss.

The rest of the show follows the standard TLC family show boilerplate: family relationships, health scares, striving to get healthy, fake tension between certain family members, and the inevitable travel (because you know damn well it's coming). I can't say yet whether I'll be in for the long haul.  Bottom line: If my interest level in this show was a heart, it would have disorganized electrical signals, low energy, and general fatigue.  (I Wikipedia'd atrial fibrillation!)

Edited by SuzyLee
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Daddy-Daughter Dances make me cringe because they just intensify the confusion and pain that a little girl feels who does not have a father in her life. I know, because I was one of those kids. I can't believe that any school would think that such an event is even slightly appropriate. On the other hand, I can see this completely whack-a-doodle bunch thinking that it's a fine rite of passage for their tween daughters who shall forever remain under their father's control.

Edited by ThinkerBell
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