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S07.E16: Pōniu I Ke Aloha (Crazy in Love)


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This had cute potential, but seemed to really drag.  They did a cute Valentine's Day episode last year or the year before that was so much better. I found myself multitasking through most of this one.

 

On a side note:  What did Steve's girlfriend do to her hair?? Looks like a 5 year old cut her bangs, lol.

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I wanted to smack that obnoxious, entitled little shit so badly. Were we supposed to be amused by Danny-as-curmudgeon? Because that kid got rewarded for his behavior at Danny's expense. Whatever message they wanted to send, I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a different interpretation. And the couples at the end...Steve had his arm around Danny, not his girlfriend. Shipperbaiting?

Oh yeah, there was a Five-O plot in there too. Meh.

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Are there really people who enjoy the Danny - Steve "banter"?  

The date storyline was boring and the sunglasses stuff was asinine.  If my boyfriend behaved that way on a romantic weekend getaway, I don't think he would be my boyfriend for long. 

The other storyline felt like a rerun - haven't we seen the teaching guys to flirt conference before?  Maybe it was another show, but I know I have seen it somewhere.

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That was excruciating to watch. I couldn't help wondering if the writers were pulling a Catherine Heigl on Scott Caan for forcing them to think of various semi-realistic scenarios for Danny's frequent going MIA. Poor Alex O'Loughlin ended up as collateral damage in one of the worst sub-plots ever to grace this show.

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I think it is time to put this puppy out of its misery.

After being brought in and questioned for "solicitation" being an "accomplice to murder" and just "general douchbaggery" how was the "teacher" able to go back to his teaching seminar with no repercussions?

Danny, getting s****** over missing sunglasses was way over the top, and the constant "BANTER" is about as annoying as it can get. The show is so much better when he (Danny) has some excuse not to be there. Oh yeah, he ate the cucumbers at the spa. What a jerk.

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Guys, I had fun with this one. The volleyball scene set to "Playing with the Boys" and Rob Huebel being his absolute John Calabas-iest were enough for some Friday night fun. But I also felt like the banter was a little more in check. It felt like what two Police partners who cared about one another, but we're being forced to spend time together outside of work by their girlfriends would go through. It was good to see that Steve had to take his lumps too, the "baller" comment, the volleyball match, and yoga. Though I'm sure McGarret would be fine at Yoga. I can hold those poses, and I am NO WAY in McGarret shape.

5-0 obviously pays well to be able to spring for the Hilton Presidential suite on Valentines

  • Love 4
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10 hours ago, Mittengirl said:

The other storyline felt like a rerun - haven't we seen the teaching guys to flirt conference before?  Maybe it was another show, but I know I have seen it somewhere.

So did castle, a few seasons ago.

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I have to say, the reveal where Steve looks over at the view and then sees Danny on the neighboring balcony accompanied by Danny's soft and resigned "of course" cracked me up.

 

Where were the abdominal surgery scars?   Not complaining about the beach scene at all, just sayin'...  Scott Caan in beachwear is...yeah...niiiiice.  I can also understand why he wanted his shades back, he looked hawt in them.  Usually I'm crushing on AOL or DDK, but a girl can look, amiright?

 

Danny is supposed to be the paragon of parenting, so that whole obsession with the rude kid was just weird.  It was totally in character for him to be annoyed by the rude little shit, but his reaction should be only to rant about it once the initial "apologize to the lady" gambit failed.  The fact he took it so far seemed incredibly out of character--he of all people as the bestest dad ever would have recognized the futility of cracking a kid with an attitude like that.

 

And I also have got to say, the "Steve sucks at yoga" scene was also just out of character, but that final shot of his ass in the yoga pants?  Oh yeah....

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It's like theor girlfriends had never met either of them and don't understand renting an expensive hotel suite not far from your own home and even Danny live alome, yes Danny has some joint custody bit clearly didn't have rhe kids this weekend.  Steve has a small beach in front! The sunglasses thing was stupid. So two dudes who literally have no problem routinely intimidate witnesses,Beattie shot out of suspects that sometimes arent guilty and are famous across the islands can't figure out a to school a snotty kid?

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7 hours ago, SweetTooth said:

 I saw it as yet another excuse to get the hot women in bikinis. I think there's been one episode where Steve's GF has remained fully clothed throughout the show, and that's when Catherine crashed their party.

He! I appreciated the irony in having Kono rant about objectifying women followed by a cut to the beach where the two character non-entities (i.e. the girlfriends) were presenting their perfect bodies in bikinis while both guys were wearing t-shirts. (Yeah, they got the guys out of their t-shirts for a later scene but it was still hilarious.)

  • Love 5
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On 2/10/2017 at 6:59 PM, SuzieQ said:

This had cute potential, but seemed to really drag.  They did a cute Valentine's Day episode last year or the year before that was so much better. I found myself multitasking through most of this one.

I agree. I think the V Day plot being hijacked by a beyond annoying kid (turning Danny into a beyond annoying yutz) was a real disservice. I still only recognize the girlfriends when they are specifically pointed out as being the girlfriends. Otherwise, they seem like most of the other eye candy to me. For some reason they just don't stick in my mind.

As for Steve and the yoga - it's been my experience that fitness doesn't necessarily translate to all forms of exercise.

Then with the murder plot - I found myself idly wondering what the "normal" homicide detectives on the HPD do, since this wasn't a particularly remarkable murder. And, I don't know if they all do, but those headrests come right off in my car, and this was Kono's car, not a police car, so handcuffing someone to them doesn't seem like a secure solution.

The biggest laugh I had in regard to the show was accidental. Looking for the description for next week's show on my future recordings list, I accidentally viewed my daughter's Steven Universe recording which said " A magical boy named Steven has adventures with the guardians of humanity" and for a hot second thought that next week's episode would involve some kind of hallucination, and that it sounded more interesting than this episode.

Edited by Clanstarling
because "scenery" didn't quite seem the right word to use about the girlfriends.
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Speaking of what "normal" cops actually do in this world...Lou said that he's dealt with the (former?) madam several times when he was with SWAT. What would SWAT have to do with the escort service?? Isn't that what the "normal" cops would deal with? I thought SWAT was basically the "heavy guns"--barricades/hostage situations/etc. Isn't that what SWAT stands for -- Special Weapons and Tactics. Would that really be necessary for the escort service---several times!!

Edited by illdoc
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1 hour ago, Clanstarling said:

I agree. I think the V Day plot being hijacked by a beyond annoying kid (turning Danny into a beyond annoying yutz) was a real disservice. I still only recognize the girlfriends when they are specifically pointed out as being the girlfriends. Otherwise, they seem like most of the other eye candy to me. For some reason they just don't stick in my mind.

As for Steve and the yoga - it's been my experience that fitness doesn't necessarily translate to all forms of exercise.

Then with the murder plot - I found myself idly wondering what the "normal" homicide detectives on the HPD do, since this wasn't a particularly remarkable murder. And, I don't know if they all do, but those headrests come right off in my car, and this was Kono's car, not a police car, so handcuffing someone to them doesn't seem like a secure solution.

The biggest laugh I had in regard to the show was accidental. Looking for the description for next week's show on my future recordings list, I accidentally viewed my daughter's Steven Universe recording which said " A magical boy named Steven has adventures with the guardians of humanity" and for a hot second thought that next week's episode would involve some kind of hallucination, and that it sounded more interesting than this episode.

Regarding the bolded: Yes, it's Kono's personal car. But, all of Five-0 uses their personal vehicles on the job. So I'm pretty sure they've all had a certain amount of modifications done to work on the streets as an unmarked police car. I don't think she'd have handcuffed the dating seminar guy to her headrest if we weren't supposed to believe it was a viable place to do that. Well, at least not unless the writers had a brain fart about how well that would work in Kono's car.

  • Love 2
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A lot going on but not much happening. This episode was so Meh. The scene of Steve putting his arm around Danny at the end I thought he was going to kiss him. It was weird that both couples were sitting across from their date. Of course, this is tv so I'll give them a pass. The scenery of the men, woman & Hawaii was beautiful as always but this was a really bad episode. That said, the opening shot of Steve & Danny across from each other on the balcony's was funny and shot really well. Someday, I'm gonna go to Hawaii. I've said that for 50 + years and I know it's going to come true someday. LOL!!!!

  • Love 2
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What do the girlfriends do for a living?  Or were the guys paying for the hotel?  Although, I can't see Danny, who is always whining about how expensive Hawaii is, springing for that hotel suite.  I know they can't go far for a quick trip, given they are on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, but it seems like they would at least want to get out of Honolulu.  (Hilton has properties elsewhere in Hawaii they could show off.)

 

Regarding the removable headrest issue, I don't think that was a blip on the writers radar.  Considering all of the outlandishly stupid things they write as being plausible,  (i.e. elephants in shipping crates, magically compatible vital organs) they wouldn't have given that a second's thought.

Edited by Mittengirl
  • Love 4
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On 2/11/2017 at 0:06 AM, Mittengirl said:

Are there really people who enjoy the Danny - Steve "banter"?  

Can they just grow up? They bicker like teen boys and girls.

For one, Valentine's day is ridiculous. For the other, if my significant other, not even my spouse, and I are planning what looks like an expensive vacation, and they go behind my back and unilaterally changes plans, uh, no. Also, I don't want to hang out with some dude I work with on a vacation. Why not just be up front and actually communicate with your significant other. 

Ugh. "Pick up artist" garbage. Because women are prizes to be won and it's 1954 on the show apparently. At least Kono called the "teacher" on it. 

I SO wanted the volleyball scene to be an homage to Top Gun though.

I was pleasantly surprised how the bartender was actually helpful. 

Of COURSE the woman in the red dress was working. Because woman get all dressed up and go to clubs alone. 

I did like Grover whining to the escort lady. 

Edited by ganesh
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1 hour ago, ganesh said:

I don't get how Five-0 can go down to Mexico on some bandito raid, but Danny can't arrest a kid who stole his sunglasses.

Ah, but he didn't steal Danny's sunglasses, as it turned out. LOL.

Seems to me they objectify the guys plenty too - but then maybe it's just that they're the only ones I notice when they take off their shirts.

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No, I meant that all Danny had to do was check the glasses when he saw the kid wearing them in the first place. The kid is all yelling and you just tell people you're a cop and you think he stole something. Problem solved. 

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15 minutes ago, ganesh said:

No, I meant that all Danny had to do was check the glasses when he saw the kid wearing them in the first place. The kid is all yelling and you just tell people you're a cop and you think he stole something. Problem solved. 

Ah, that makes sense. :)

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On 2/10/2017 at 9:59 PM, SuzieQ said:

On a side note:  What did Steve's girlfriend do to her hair?? Looks like a 5 year old cut her bangs, lol.

I couldn't look away. Did she cut them herself????

On 2/11/2017 at 11:02 AM, Traveller519 said:

 It was good to see that Steve had to take his lumps too, the "baller" comment, the volleyball match, and yoga. Though I'm sure McGarret would be fine at Yoga. I can hold those poses, and I am NO WAY in McGarret shape.

 

"Don't ever say 'baller' again. Ever. " <snicker>

I did enjoy Chin just relaxing in the car as Cuz did a devastating burn of Head Flirt Guy. teeee.

(Psych did a similar episode, but it was about becoming a proper gentleman, as opposed to a baller... :-)  )

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13 hours ago, Mittengirl said:

What do the girlfriends do for a living?  Or were the guys paying for the hotel?  Although, I can't see Danny, who is always whining about how expensive Hawaii is, springing for that hotel suite.  I know they can't go far for a quick trip, given they are on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, but it seems like they would at least want to get out of Honolulu.  (Hilton has properties elsewhere in Hawaii they could show off.)

 

Regarding the removable headrest issue, I don't think that was a blip on the writers radar.  Considering all of the outlandishly stupid things they write as being plausible,  (i.e. elephants in shipping crates, magically compatible vital organs) they wouldn't have given that a second's thought.

It was established in Lynn's first episode that she works, in some way, with "at risk" youth (there've been suggestions in a number of posts for a storyline where she works with Nahele--the troubled teen who Steve's been mentoring & kind of looking after since he stole & stripped Steve's dad's 70's vintage Mercury Marquis for the parts while Steve was training with Gracie for her President's Council on Physical Fitness award test; Steve & Gracie were running & the car passed by, so Steve told Gracie to stay put & he went after it).

It's never been specified what Danny's girlfriend, Melissa, does. But she apparently works somewhere in Honolulu. Danny was able to get her boss to let her off work for another either "staycation" in Honolulu or a trip to another island, before the "staycation" in this episode, which ended up disastrously because Melissa had an abusive ex she was running from, using the name Amber Vitale, & he finally located her during the trip, he went to take her back, & he stabbed Danny, pretty seriously, for getting in the way.

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I have stayed at Hilton Hawaiian Village a few times, and once in the tower in which the Presidential Suites were located.  That tower is more expensive than the others, and there's no way the girlfriends (or Steve and Danny for that matter) would be able to afford them.  When I stayed in that tower (Al'ii?  maybe), Dwayne Johnson was in the Presidential Suite).  It MAY make sense if the men had booked the rooms and management was thanking them for some rescue or something.  But not the girlfriends.  I know, I know...it's not supposed to make sense...

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Credibility and episodes making any sense, is a ship that has sailed long ago on this show, so I'm not expecting that, but I have a harder time handwaving total idiocy that, I don't know, we're supposed to think is funny? With all the people that (presumably) worked on this episode, did *any* of them say, "Gosh, Danny is acting like a total lunatic here, is this really all that funny?". It's not funny. It just makes me cringe. I assume the girlfriends are accustomed to, and thus not completely repulsed by their respective men's antics, but I'd have been pretty ticked at Mr. DVD if he'd left what was supposed to be a nice weekend to go harass some snot-nosed teen about a pair of sunglasses. And Mr. DVD would have been rightly ticked off at me if I had secretly booked our nice weekend away right next door to his frenemy-I-don't-know-what-they-are-anymore and his plus one. And then they do that characteristic groovy music behind it to let us know that TEEHEE this is so funny. ... Right.

On the plus side, no tertiary characters whom I also find annoying and nice work from Chin, Lou, and Kono. Before the prostitution and the guy being a skeeze, I thought that the premise of teaching guys how to gain confidence and stacking the deck by arranging a success to boost said confidence wasn't totally terrible, sort of reminded me of that Will Smith movie Hitch. But, well, the moment passed.

I didn't catch the actual reason why creepy prep ended up killing insecure and then dead dude? Jealousy because he was hooking up with red dress lady? Or accident?

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13 minutes ago, Vermicious Knid said:

He didn't know she was an escort who had been paid to sleep with him and got all Fatal Attraction stalkerish.

Does it seem like the landscape porn has been increasing bit by bit every episode?

Thanks!

Mr. DVD and I have both observed that the amount of "filler" - landscape porn as well as thinly cobbled together subplots - has been increasing.

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1 hour ago, Vermicious Knid said:

He didn't know she was an escort who had been paid to sleep with him and got all Fatal Attraction stalkerish.

He was all Fatal Attraction prior to learning that she was hired to flirt with him.

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I looked at the Hilton Hawaiian village website to see what the rate is for the presidential suite, and it's not listed so you can't book it online. Presumably this is to keep the riffraff out. They did list an Ali'i Oceanfront one-bedroom suite, which from the pictures looks pretty similar to what we saw on the show, and those go for $2000 a night (or $1900 a night if you're in the Hilton Honors program showing that Hilton Hotels are run by real sports). There's also an additional $35 a night "resort fee" because $2000 doesn't quite cover it, I guess. A lot of hotels in Hawaii have kama'aina rates for locals, but the only one listed for this hotel is a $175/night special, which presumably is for a regular room that normally runs about $400.

I could see Steve staying there if someone else paid, but he's notoriously cheap so he wouldn't chip in. I'm sure if he ever opened his wallet, a moth would fly out. And while Danny's not cheap, he's so curmudgeonly he wouldn't stay there just on principle. He would think it's ridiculous to pay for a hotel room that's within driving distance of his house. These are the things I think about during boring as hell plots.

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The McGarrett homestead looks like prime estate - doesn't it have its own bit of beach? It makes no sense for Steve to spend an insane amount of money for an over-crowded resort no matter how luxurious it is. I live in a tourist resort and I have done the 'staying local' thing - but I did not book rooms in a hotel full of tourists. I booked a cozy little place few people knew about. But the Hilton pays the show's bills and so any plot logic abandons ship.

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You know I was going to refrain from commenting on this episode only because I think I am probably the only one I know that is still willing to defend the  "Validity of McDanno" if you will (I'm all for it because I think that it makes practical sense for these particular characters).  And after watching this episode, I think I can safely say that this show proved my point in spades:

First of all, the trotting out of what someone somewhere once called "The Mysteriously Missing Girlfriends" for this episode seemed so forced that it was laughable.  So much so, that I think even the writers thought it was ludicrous enough to want to make fun of it.

It appears as tho Steve's girlfriend Lynn had to arrange for this special weekend as if it had somehow not occurred to him to do it.  She booked them into the Presidential Suite of a very nice Waikiki hotel which Steve looks at initially with some suspicion. But, being the Alpha Male that he is, he thinks this place would be as nice a place as any for sex and immediately goes all "Smooth Caveman" on her trying to steal a kiss,  but for some reason she ducks it.  So Steve walks out to their balcony to enjoy the view where he seems not at all surprised to spot none other than his partner Danny on the adjoining balcony, who seems practically nonplussed.  Wanting an explanation, he calls out in annoyance for his girlfriend Melissa.  She comes out too....accompanied by Steve's Lynn. Surprise surprise: The girls were in cahoots on the planning of this special weekend.

Steve also quickly realizes something else: that this Valentine's Day weekend was actually Danny's idea, albeit in a roundabout way.  Danny evidently has become reluctant to be "intimate" with his girlfriend when they are together.  Although he likely did not outright suggest it, he seems to have agreed that a holiday weekend with S & L might be a good idea at some point some time. Melissa ran with that and hashed it all out with Lynn. (From my viewpoint it seems Melissa jumped at the chance and is kind of hoping for a "foursome")  But Danny tells Steve he only said this to her because he does not want her to think he is an "anti-social weirdo" to which Steve points out that he is.  Danny admits that he is but does not want her to know it.  To which Steve says a very profound thing: "That's good. Hide your true self from your girlfriend like that's going to be good for your relationship".  It's made clear to us that only both of them know what the other is really like.

Danny also alludes to the fact that he may not be able to perform with Melissa because Steve is there. "I don't need your judgy eyes and face looking at me."  Is this more evidence of Steve's "Relationship Dominance"? Or is it, as McDanno loyalists would have you believe, that Danny may be conflicted because of the fact that he loves Steve and does not wish to be forced to choose between Steve or Melissa. Incredibly, Steve seems to be very aware of the degree of Danny's "intimacy issues".  How is that?? I personally only thought women talked among themselves on that specific a level.  Maybe it's because Steve and Danny have the same doctor, who knows.  Or it may be the fact that they have "tested" the limits of their abilities in this regard. In any event, being the "loving caring partner" that Lorraine from Better Partners Bootcamp encouraged him to be, Steve generously told Danny that if his presence was too much of a distraction for him to just say the "safe word" and he would leave.  Funnily enough, Danny agreed to this D/s-influenced idea without argument.  I mean, really, what does this say about the two of them???

And what happens next is a scene pulled straight out of what some people ( Q T )  have called the "gayest movie ever made" TOP GUN, right down to the music.  Beach volleyball between the teams of McGarrett & Lynn and Williams & Melissa.  Danny is doing something which he says himself that he lives to do "beat Steve at something". In the midst of this game, Steve for some reason intriguingly asks Danny "Does he want to switch teams?"  But Danny says no.  And the Danny-Melissa team are enjoying a healthy 10 point lead until an annoying young boy sails his Frisbee right into Melissa's ass.  Danny at this point starts a war with this kid which lasts through the remainder of the episode.  It's an escalating series of oneups, from Danny water ditching the Frisbee to accusing the kid of stealing his sunglasses to breaking into his hotel room. This kid's presence is there simply to give the writers Danny an excuse not to be with Melissa.  Steve, acting as the "Dutiful Long Suffering Spouse" he can be sometimes, also spends the rest of the episode not hanging with Lynn either as it seems to be his self appointed mission to keep an eye on his husband Danny.

Lynn seems to finally realize that Steve and Danny have more going on  between them than even she realized. Throughout this whole weekend, Steve has only one thing on his mind and it is definitely not her.  During one of the few moments that he is with her, in a group yoga class, she let him know that she was on to him: that she caught his comment about wanting to "switch teams".  Steve, who appears to fully understand her implication and yet remains unfazed by her comment, only says that he "didn't mean to hurt anybody."  Melissa, who is also there, chimes in with the comment "At least your boyfriend is here." However, whether this comment was directed at Lynn...or at Steve..is not really clear.

Before the end of the episode Danny tries to apologize to Melissa for abandoning her for most of the weekend but, like the savvy girl she is, she sweetly forgives him. She realizes that he is who he is. Most interesting about this scene is even tho Melissa obviously appears to be wearing nothing but a towel, instead of going for it the way Steve did with Lynn Danny is moved to only exchange chaste kisses with Melissa. <<<What's that sound?? That's the anvil dropping ya'll>>> One could make the leap in logic and say that the next scene would explain why: The couples are sitting down to an intimate dinner for 4 but it appears that Danny has in essence "switched teams" as he is sat on the same side of the table with Steve with the girls on the other.  Steve makes a toast on behalf of them both in "appreciation" (not Love) of the girls in giving them such a great weekend.  He also suggests -- with a firm and obviously possessive arm around Danny's shoulder and the subtle ear flick -- that they should do it again sometime, but that "he and Danny" (sic) will organize it.  Lynn and Melissa look at each with knowing grins on their faces fully aware of what the boys have made so very, very clear. 

Yes, we all could have done without the idiot and lame "raison d'etre" for Danny's behavior but this episode at least tried to take a stand on the characters sexuality one way or the other. As I always say, "Don't walk on the fence. It's pain in the ass if you fall"

Edited by the1andonlybbb
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On 2/12/2017 at 10:32 AM, Clanstarling said:

 

Then with the murder plot - I found myself idly wondering what the "normal" homicide detectives on the HPD do, since this wasn't a particularly remarkable murder. And, I don't know if they all do, but those headrests come right off in my car, and this was Kono's car, not a police car, so handcuffing someone to them doesn't seem like a secure solution.

I figure that at this point HPD Homicide detectives must work exclusively cold cases where we do not see Five-0 failing to close a case.

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I watch this show(and others) on a next week, off my VHS tape. I want to say more but can only do a couple points now. How did Danny's glasses get from the beach to in the chair in the motel? 2nd I would have thought maybe Jerry would have been undercover in the dating seminar to see what was happening. 3rd The whole 2 couple thing seemed to be annoying, the girls laughing at the guys, the spa for the guys(would have not been my choice), and Danny being his sometimes annoying self.

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On 2/19/2017 at 2:35 PM, Moxie Cat said:

Poor Samm Levine. I was so excited to see him pop up, since I haven't seen him in much since Freaks and Geeks - and he's killed off in the open? At least he got a trip to Hawaii out of it. 

I was really hoping that he was going to survive and maybe cross paths with Toast their hacker friend played by Martin Starr.

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What football game would be on TV on Valentines Day? The season ended the week before. Would it be a rebroadcast? Danny didn't leave it on long anyway.

 Also if this big getaway was planned and everyone on the 50 team knew it, why would Chin call Steve and tell about the case? I would think he wouldn't call unless it was something big. Normally Steve would come running.

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I just watched this one OnDemand and I was wondering if it was actually a commercial for the Hilton Hawaiian Village or if AO and SC had some deal where they just got to stay at the hotel for all of their scenes so they wouldn't get overtired or what. FWIW I've stayed at the resort once, in the Rainbow Tower, and they did a great job of showcasing it and the beach in front of it and the pool area and the spa. The only thing missing was dinner at the Bali Steak and Seafood, although SC mentioned it at the end, by name, as the place where he paid for dinner for the kid and his family. We ate there, it was super expensive but very good. This episode was so thin on plot and so disconnected, it's not hard to remember why I only catch up on episodes weeks after they air. LOL

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