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S01.E13: Three Sentences


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1 hour ago, taragel said:

Seriously, it's really curious to me if the writers think these guys are charming. I think they definitely DO perceive Toby that way with his "king of romantic gestures" bullshit, but now... two out of two of Kate's suitors are incredibly aggressive. Is it a fat bias thing? Also the message that Kate only attracts fat dudes is NAGL. Then again---she's only ever around fat people and her family. So maybe if they gave her a real job or something to do besides dwell on being fat... sigh. 

I think they think they've created in Toby what women think they want.  Does that make any sense?  Part of my problem with Toby is that he's over-the-top enough that he's completely unrealistic.  We got a little insight into his backstory tonight--that he's spent his post-pubescent life trying to perfect the grand gesture because he had nothing else going for him with the ladies.  Fine...but even that is pretty shallow (not that he's shallow--although he his--but that it is shallow in terms of character development).  

As for Horse Guy, he'd better not turn out to be some great love because, man, he was creeeeeppppyyy.

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I agree it's probably not fair to judge anyone on one behavior at age ten. I do hope, tho, that if there are scenes between Kate and Sophie and if she WAS one the mean girls, they actually talk about it a little bit. Or...probably they already would have, if she was Kate's sister in law for years.

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7 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I guess Kevin is easy to overlook, because he seems so lucky compared to his siblings.  He has no weight or race issues.  I think his biggest problems is he does not get the type of grades that Randall does.  Also, he grew up to be incredibly handsome and got paid tons of money for the most superficial of reason.  He also has beautiful women throwing themselves at him all the time.

It's sometimes hard to believe we are the same species.

Sounds like Kevin needs to audition for a role in The Merchant of Venice.  With his background I'm sure he could bring real gravitas to "If you prick us, do we not bleed?"

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1 hour ago, luna1122 said:

I don't think it's necessarily that they don't like him. He just said they aren't his friends. He's a little introvert/nerd, who goes his own way and doesn't really care if everyone likes him. Lots of kids are like that, and it's not a matter of others not LIKING them. They're just more loners or prefer to only get close to a few. I always had several very close friends (who are still, by and large, my friends today) but not sure I would have scored a bunch of kids at my birthday party either. (I grew up a JW, no birthday parties). And sure, there is probably, sadly, some racism happening too.

The fact that he seems OK with having only 3 guests because he said he has 3 good friends and he seems accepting that kids aren't his friends -- I don't think a ten year-old can help but feel the sting of rejection.  In a class of 20-30 kids, when Rebecca states he has been invited to (because of the rule) and goes to other kids' parties, and only one kid from his class comes?  There should have been more reciprocity, at least a handful of kids should be there.  There's something more going on there than that he's introverted or nerdy.  I think there's probably more than a little racism.  Rebecca and Jack seem a bit clueless about what their black child might be experiencing.  Rebecca acted like this never occurred to her.  I'm not leveling a criticism at her, she's truly concerned about him and proud of him, etc.  Her other two kids had a big turnout, her third child has only three; I would have been a whole lot more alarmed than she and Jack seemed to be. 

5 minutes ago, SuzyLee said:

I thought the exact same thing.  I didn't like how he just sashayed unannounced into Randall's office like he owned the place and totally brushed aside Randall's insistence that he had serious work to do.  Is family more important than work?  In the grand scheme of things, yes, of course, but there are times when family should respect their loved one's deadlines and big, career-making moments.

William did not know it was a big, career-making moment.  I cut slack on this because it was something William dreamed of for many years, and it has been made explicit he is very near the end.  Randall told him he would be behind him completely when he cut off chemo, and Rebecca earlier told William that Randall would be all in regarding his illness.  I think both of their actions are in character.  The two have formed a quick, close bond--believable to me--and it's about to end as suddenly as it started. 

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1 hour ago, Haleth said:

 About the Madonna dress, the early costumes are what little girls would glom onto.  The super feminine tutus and bows are more fun for a 10yo than the 1990s sleek suits and cone bras.  Out of date?  Yeah, but pretty!

Of course.  Mom's aren't going to buy them cone bras even if they wanted them.  Besides, when I'm a fan of a singer I don't just like their latest thing.  "It's their body of work!" as  Randall's girls would probably say.

Sophie did not sign that card.  The first word kids learn to spell is their own name, usually before first grade.

That horse guy was a jerk, but a sexy jerk.  Kate has probably never had a guy come on to her with that sort of heat  (I'm not counting Toby's nervous stream of silly innuendoes) and one thing we know about addiction is that they arrest development.  Maybe it's time for Kate to be an eighteen year-old girl for a weekend.  I just hope it doesn't lose her Toby, because I'm starting to like him a lot.

William knows that after chemo is stopped, many people only have a few weeks of feeling good before the final curtain starts coming down fast.  If he has become a little self-centered all of a sudden, blocking out Randall's hints of work to attend to, I give him full pardon, and I'm so glad he got to drive down the street in a cool car with that chocolate drink I never heard of.

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21 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

And never underestimate the power of peer pressure.  How easy for a kid to get caught between wanting to be liked, not wanting to make yourself a target or hurting someone else.  I think one of the most fascinating things I'd like to see is how Kate and Sophie got past it, or didn't truly get past it as the case may be.  It also shows why Olivia with Kevin must have thrown up major red flags with Kate.

My bold.  That would make so much sense.  Because Kate knows girls like her!

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10 minutes ago, ShadowFacts said:

The fact that he seems OK with having only 3 guests because he said he has 3 good friends and he seems accepting that kids aren't his friends -- I don't think a ten year-old can help but feel the sting of rejection.  In a class of 20-30 kids, when Rebecca states he has been invited to (because of the rule) and goes to other kids' parties, and only one kid from his class comes?  There should have been more reciprocity, at least a handful of kids should be there.  There's something more going on there than that he's introverted or nerdy.  I think there's probably more than a little racism.  Rebecca and Jack seem a bit clueless about what their black child might be experiencing.  Rebecca acted like this never occurred to her.  I'm not leveling a criticism at her, she's truly concerned about him and proud of him, etc.  Her other two kids had a big turnout, her third child has only three; I would have been a whole lot more alarmed than she and Jack seemed to be. 

William did not know it was a big, career-making moment.  I cut slack on this because it was something William dreamed of for many years, and it has been made explicit he is very near the end.  Randall told him he would be behind him completely when he cut off chemo, and Rebecca earlier told William that Randall would be all in regarding his illness.  I think both of their actions are in character.  The two have formed a quick, close bond--believable to me--and it's about to end as suddenly as it started. 

Rebecca and Jack have been concerned about racial issues.  It's been shown multiple times and they immediately questioned it in regards to the party.  If anything they are much less concerned about the other two as individuals on a regular basis.  Overall they love their children and are concerned about them.  In particular they are shown having concern for Randall specifically most often, even when the other kids have acute needs -- Kate not feeling well/appendicitis, Kevin going under at the pool.

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21 minutes ago, Cheyanne11 said:

I think Kate 'watched' the 2006 SB with UrnJack.  

That's probably it. Maybe she stopped watching football after Jack died until the 2006 Superbowl? That could be why she mentioned that to Toby as a significant thing for her in that previous episode.

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I'll fanwalk that it was easier (and more wardrobe budget friendly) to dress up the girls in lace gloves, tank tops, tulle skirts and tons of necklaces as opposed to see through bras, mens suits and monocles.  Hell, last time I dressed up for an 80s party, I dressed up similar to that and that was 5 years ago when I was 34!

I think that would just be kind of lazy.  I'm not saying the show needs to be a documentary, but it seems silly to do flashbacks to certain time periods, if you aren't really going to get that time period right.  It's like with Rebecca's hair.  It's supposed to be 1989, and she looks like she hasn't updated her look since 1976. 

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I generally feel that this show tells ok "soap opera..ie" stories in a very interesting way, using a unique style and point of view-yeah, probably UO as to the first part. But I felt that the funeral flashback scenes were intentionally manipulative-we know he died, but they went out of the way to keep everything blurry and uncertain so that people (like those of us on this board) would be left guessing. I think the sudden reveals like finding out 14 episodes in that Kevin was married to someone from their past by the  "opening the door" trope is fine....and non-manipulative (kinda like seeing Miguel with Rebecca, what is it with this show and doors?), but blurring out the characters at the funeral to stir up drama crosses a line for me. YMMV

I get that the show is told in an intentionally non-linear way, but does it also play fast and loose with geography..... a lot. Where does current day Randall live-Pittsburgh area? Rebecca/Miguel too-they clearly live near each other? Where is the gastric surgeon-Pittsburgh? Where was the club that Kevin and Toby went to-Pitt or NYC? It is a 5-6 hour drive from Pitt to NYC-how are these people interacting this much...Kevin's play is "off-Broadway", but that is really Off-Broadway! I am not being critical, I'd like to know. (Ok, I am being a little critical). Oh yeah, where does Sloane's family live-better be near Randall's or that is a long way to get from latkes to Christmas ham at the last minute.  

I did not catch that "Sofie/Sophie" was a name on that cruel, cruel note. Great catch if it was the same person. Not sure how Kate (or her parents) could allow any of the girls involved with that note to be in contact with her.....and there is no way that the same Kevin that held his twin sisters hand basically INTO the operating room would be friends with someone who hurt her that deeply. The pool was clearly before this episode since otherwise the girls would have been all-over (almost drowned) Kevin.

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As far as Kate/Toby, Kate/the Horse Whisperer I'm hopeful that the writers have been writing the guys with such broad strokes simply out of expediency to cover storyline in a short amount of episodes and will slow down for more subtle detail now that the episode order has been increased and the series has already been renewed.  So far they've written the Kate storyline more with archetypes and it's coming  off very insulting and offputting to say the least.

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2 minutes ago, Tikichick said:

Rebecca and Jack have been concerned about racial issues.  It's been shown multiple times and they immediately questioned it in regards to the party.  If anything they are much less concerned about the other two as individuals on a regular basis.  Overall they love their children and are concerned about them.  In particular they are shown having concern for Randall specifically most often, even when the other kids have acute needs -- Kate not feeling well/appendicitis, Kevin going under at the pool.

As I said, they're truly concerned about him.  And Rebecca's attachment to Randall at maybe the expense of the other two has also been shown, I agree.  But racial issues have been only very lightly touched on so far.  I think it is apt to become more prominent as we get more flashbacks, because, well, he is a black child in a white family in a white community and they would be missing tons of story and character development opportunities if they gloss over it.  Jack has gone to the dojo, Yvette clued them in on a few things, now kids aren't showing up to his birthday, so there is probably more to come.  He's not just a nerdy kid who does his own thing, he's a black kid with challenges that Kate and Kevin don't face. 

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I'm very happy they left the Jack funeral very nebulous.  I'm pretty disappointed it seems they left it with the kids in the teen years because the earlier it happened shrinks the potential pool of storylines with Jack in them.

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We all know Jack dies so it really annoys me that Kate, Kevin and Randall never talk fondly about him or talk about him at all. It would be nice to hear them say things that you normally say when you have a parent that has passed away. Things like, remember when dad used to say___ or dad always did____. or I really miss when dad___.  It doesn't have to be every episode but throw something in there once in a while! 

Also, young Kate and Randall always being the social outcasts and Kevin being the popular kid is becoming stale. Kevin monopolizing the birthday, Kate sitting in another room by herself and Randall having no friends while all the kids were mesmerized by Kevin was just awful. 

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2 minutes ago, ShadowFacts said:

As I said, they're truly concerned about him.  And Rebecca's attachment to Randall at maybe the expense of the other two has also been shown, I agree.  But racial issues have been only very lightly touched on so far.  I think it is apt to become more prominent as we get more flashbacks, because, well, he is a black child in a white family in a white community and they would be missing tons of story and character development opportunities if they gloss over it.  Jack has gone to the dojo, Yvette clued them in on a few things, now kids aren't showing up to his birthday, so there is probably more to come.  He's not just a nerdy kid who does his own thing, he's a black kid with challenges that Kate and Kevin don't face. 

I'm sure Randall faces challenges they don't understand and I'm sure we'll see them as time goes on.  I'm not ready to jump there so quickly in regards to the birthday party based on what we've seen and what Randall himself said.  I have a (grown)kid with a similar personality.  She's the same way today about social situations/friends, as am I.  I know plenty of people who are much more social than we are, seemingly with many more friends.  Doesn't bother us and I know I value my friendships immensely. 

1 minute ago, bichonblitz said:

We all know Jack dies so it really annoys me that Kate, Kevin and Randall never talk fondly about him or talk about him at all. It would be nice to hear them say things that you normally say when you have a parent that has passed away. Things like, remember when dad used to say___ or dad always did____. or I really miss when dad___.  It doesn't have to be every episode but throw something in there once in a while! 

Also, young Kate and Randall always being the social outcasts and Kevin being the popular kid is becoming stale. Kevin monopolizing the birthday, Kate sitting in another room by herself and Randall having no friends while all the kids were mesmerized by Kevin was just awful. 

I think we've seen plenty to demonstrate how much the kids loved Jack and how they miss him -- football/the urn, the Pilgrim hat, the strain with Miguel, etc. 

I'll give Kevin his moment in the sun.  He spends a lot of time in the shade at home with mom and dad.

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23 minutes ago, milner said:

The trouble with Toby's grand gesture approach to me is that it puts the woman/man on the receiving end of the gesture in the position to be unable to say no.  Toby barging in on Kate's Super Bowl with Dad Day, or flying uninvited to their family Christmas puts undue pressure on her to let it go.  It is right up there in my opinion with people who propose in the middle of a restaurant or sporting event.  If they know for sure the answer will be yes it is one thing.  If they aren't sure then it is a form of coercion.  

The one on the receiving end can still say no. Sure it maybe be more awkward but the choice to say no isn't taken away.

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I don't think the kids were 15 when Jack died, but I also don't think they were much older.  I'm fairly certain that Kevin expressly said that he was a little older when they were at the funeral.  It looked like the same actors as from the football game episode, but I'm guessing it was a year or two later.  

The pool episode must have taken place before the birthday party since Randall started his other school after they met Yvette and her family.  So whatever happened with Sophie and whatever degree she must have not continued being mean.  And whether getting to know Kate was motivated by Kevin or not, Sophie did seem to like Kate and complimented her on the Madonna outfit when she got there.  

And I'm not going to come down too hard on a 10 year old for having a boy she likes pay attention to her and it making her lose sight of her friend's birthday.  I'm not going to assume that she remained a asshole.   Not to mention, I don't see Kevin falling in love at all, let alone "love of my life" degree, with a person who was actively mean to Kate.  He's self absorbed, but he loves his sister.

Edited by RachelKM
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2 minutes ago, RachelKM said:

The pool episode must have taken place before the birthday party since Randall started his other school after they met Yvette and her family.  So whatever happened with Sophie and whatever degree she must have not continued being mean.  And whether getting to know Kate was motivated by Kevin or not, Sophie did seem to like Kate and complimented her on the Madonna outfit when she got there.  

If I remember correctly, the kids were eight during The Pool, and it was during the summer so they were most likely about to turn nine. This episode had them celebrating their tenth birthday, so it's about a year later. A lot can change in a year. 

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The Madonna theme doesn't bug me too much. 

But Randall works in Manhattan.  Don't we know this from the episode in which Kevin meets him at the office and they go out?  So why the heck would Randall and William be in the car going out for lunch?  Really?  And then they drove someplace else?  Because that parking lot doesn't look like anything you would see in Manhattan.  Are we to believe that they 'drove' to Queens or Brooklyn to get an egg cream?

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3 hours ago, ShadowFacts said:

I am thinking another possibility is that she will in some sense have her head turned by this ass, and realize she is not ready to commit to Toby or anyone.

 

"...until she gets her shit worked out."  (finishing your sentence for you!)

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This is my pure speculative guess:

At age nine some of Kate's friends started being mean to her and did not want her to play with her anymore.  They wrote the mean note and signed Sophie's name on it, without her knowing.  Sophie finds out about it and apologizes and explains the situation to Kate...they become friends.  Kate tells Kevin and he starts noticing Sophie, not only for being a pretty girl, but one that is nice to his sister.

A year later, Sophie is the popular girl in the class.  If Sophie likes Madonna so do the other girls.  Kate knows Kevin likes Sophie and leads her to Kevin's party as soon as she arrives.  What Kate does not expect is the other girls follow Sophie to Kevin's party and ditch her, as they would rather be where the popular girl is, then with Kate.

Kate and Sophie remain life long friends until Kevin and Sophie's divorce.

I really think way too much about this show.

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2 hours ago, qtpye said:

My question is how is little Kate so much larger then her two brothers, who are probably being fed the exact same thing (the occasional grape fruit aside)?  Is it a medical issue?  Is her metabolism that much slower?  By the way, I hated the scene in that episode where Jack said yuck and pushed her grape fruit aside and poured her a bowl of sugar cereal.  If all fruits and veggies are yuck, your kids will never eat them.

Maybe at least part of the reason she is so much larger than her brothers at that age is her "perfect" father often feeds her junk as a treat while her mother tries to keep her on a healthier diet. Just another reason why I get annoyed with the depiction of Jack as a saint. (Guess I have a few lingering resentments from being seen as the strict parent rather than the fun parent.) However, it does seem like there is also a metabolism issue with that degree of obesity as an adult.

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But Randall works in Manhattan.  Don't we know this from the episode in which Kevin meets him at the office and they go out? 

As I said above, I am not sure where Randall lives-I thought it was still Pittsburgh area. If it is NY, when did the family move there since the cabin was supposedly only an hour away. I think they are really playing fast and loose with geography here. If it is NY, we certainly are not getting many NY type location shots.

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Does anyone recall if one of the girls at the pool looks like the Sophie in this episode?  Would those actresses be on IMDB?  I must know if it's the same girl, lol!

ETA: 10 year old Sophie from this episode is Sophia Coto.  Still looking for the other Sofie/Sophie.

Edited by izabella
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8 minutes ago, qtpye said:

This is my pure speculative guess:

At age nine some of Kate's friends started being mean to her and did not want her to play with her anymore.  They wrote the mean note and signed Sophie's name on it, without her knowing.  Sophie finds out about it and apologizes and explains the situation to Kate...they become friends.  Kate tells Kevin and he starts noticing Sophie, not only for being a pretty girl, but one that is nice to his sister.

A year later, Sophie is the popular girl in the class.  If Sophie likes Madonna so do the other girls.  Kate knows Kevin likes Sophie and leads her to Kevin's party as soon as she arrives.  What Kate does not expect is the other girls follow Sophie to Kevin's party and ditch her, as they would rather be where the popular girl is, then with Kate.

Kate and Sophie remain life long friends until Kevin and Sophie's divorce.

I really think way too much about this show.

Every word of this seems entirely plausible, right down to the age when Kate's friends would be more likely to reject her based on her appearance.  

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11 minutes ago, AriAu said:

As I said above, I am not sure where Randall lives-I thought it was still Pittsburgh area. If it is NY, when did the family move there since the cabin was supposedly only an hour away. I think they are really playing fast and loose with geography here. If it is NY, we certainly are not getting many NY type location shots.

Randall and his family live in New Jersey. 

The thing about Toby doing nice things for the ladies reminds me of the scene in Pride and Prejudice when Mr Collins brags about practicing little flatteries to please women.  It comes across as very self serving.

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2 hours ago, qtpye said:

My question is how is little Kate so much larger then her two brothers, who are probably being fed the exact same thing (the occasional grape fruit aside)?  Is it a medical issue?  Is her metabolism that much slower?  By the way, I hated the scene in that episode where Jack said yuck and pushed her grape fruit aside and poured her a bowl of sugar cereal.  If all fruits and veggies are yuck, your kids will never eat them.

Kate isn't really that much larger when she was a kid.  She was a chubby kid and a teen with a bit of extra weight on her, but nothing that would put her in the morbidly obese category.  The show seems to be steering the plot to her large weight gain being tied to losing Jack, i.e. she really turned to food as a comfort after he died.

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I think they've now made a direct connection between Kate's weight and Jack's death.  Kate as a teen was not very overweight.  She must have been packing the weight on, metabolism issues or not, after his death.  Probably at least partially self-soothing. 

A touch I really liked was Jack realizing he could no longer make everything better.  And that he was essentially being nostalgic about the younger kids and how great it would be to do it all over again.  I think many of us feel that way sometimes.  Just as you've mastered some stage that they're going through, they're out of it and onto the next and a new set of things to figure out.  That felt real to me. 

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21 minutes ago, Paloma said:

Maybe at least part of the reason she is so much larger than her brothers at that age is her "perfect" father often feeds her junk as a treat while her mother tries to keep her on a healthier diet. Just another reason why I get annoyed with the depiction of Jack as a saint. (Guess I have a few lingering resentments from being seen as the strict parent rather than the fun parent.) However, it does seem like there is also a metabolism issue with that degree of obesity as an adult.

There is a school of thought that if it makes your child happy, then that is all that matters.  As a parent, it is your duty to sometimes make tough decisions for the sake of your child.  If Kate does have a super slow metabolism, then she has to control her metabolism to an extent that the boys do not have to worry about. It is not fair, but life rarely is.   I know someone who eats junk all the time and is very slim.  I eat much healthier, but will never be as skinny as her...these are breaks.  I can fully imagine perfect daddy Jack, sneaking Kate extra cookies and desserts, just to make her "happy".

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Kate isn't really that much larger when she was a kid.  She was a chubby kid and a teen with a bit of extra weight on her, but nothing that would put her in the morbidly obese category.  The show seems to be steering the plot to her large weight gain being tied to losing Jack, i.e. she really turned to food as a comfort after he died.

It leads to two bad food relationships.  First, she is not learning how to discipline herself and eat properly (something that is important for everyone to learn, no matter what their weight) and she will also associate the unconditional love she has with her father with these very same unhealthy foods.  Every time she eats something fattening, she will remember how her father loved her and how her mother was mean to her, because she was fat.

No offense to the actress, who is lovely, but I think Jack would be horrified if he could see how large Kate has gotten in her adult years.  You are right, she really was not that big when she was younger.  Jack probably thought it was baby fat and something she would grow out of...the eighties were a horrible time for understanding diet issues...just look at Oprah.

Edited by qtpye
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Randall and his family live in New Jersey. 

I binge watched this show last week-what episode points that out? Also, Rebecca lives there too, right? Wonder when they all moved?

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12 hours ago, elle said:

Run away, Kate, run away!  That horse guy is creepy!

 

Agreed!

I had to look up when "Vogue" was released, because I thought it seemed out of place with the gloves and the tulle.  It was in 1990, about 5 years earlier than I guessed.  

Vogue was still out of place, because the bday party was in 1989.  I looked it up too!  

Loved the Kevin twist.  I was so afraid he would pick Olivia. 

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1 hour ago, SuzyLee said:

 I am an unapologetic Randall superfan.  I would have attended his party with freaking bells on and demanded (I had a deep dislike of social injustice as a kid; still do) that the rest of the class attend, too.

And it would have spoiled Randall's party for him.  He's mature enough to realize that he wouldn't want to attend the party of someone whom he wasn't friends with;  why would he want to subject his schoolmates to the same discomfort?  He enjoyed his party just the way it was. I'd rather be with a few good friends than a bunch of people with whom I had little in common.

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10 minutes ago, AriAu said:

I binge watched this show last week-what episode points that out? Also, Rebecca lives there too, right? Wonder when they all moved?

Some eagle eyed poster early on noted that his phone (or maybe Beth's?) had a NJ area code.  I don't know if it's been established where Rebecca lives.

Edited by Haleth
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If that was Jack's memorial service, and he was cremated, why was it outside?

We had services for both my grandfather and brother outside. I don't think an indoor location was ever discussed.

Edited by bybrandy
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6 minutes ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

And it would have spoiled Randall's party for him.  He's mature enough to realize that he wouldn't want to attend the party of someone whom he wasn't friends with;  why would he want to subject his schoolmates to the same discomfort?  He enjoyed his party just the way it was. I'd rather be with a few good friends than a bunch of people with whom I had little in common.

Rebecca said he did attend the classmates' parties, and they weren't his friends.  Every classmate isn't a friend of every other classmate, and still kids go, because (aside from their parents making the decision for them), they want other kids to come to their party.  That's the way those things work, and it's got to sting a little when you have almost zero reciprocity.  And sometimes in a non-school setting, without their parents and teacher around, kids can find out they might have found a new friend.  I've seen that with my own kids.

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15 minutes ago, Sgt Pepper said:

Vogue was still out of place, because the bday party was in 1989.  I looked it up too!  

Loved the Kevin twist.  I was so afraid he would pick Olivia. 

Wasn't it established in the last episode that the kids were born in 1980 since Dr. K's wife died 14 months ago in 1979?  That makes the party in 1990.  

Love the Princess Bride.  LOVE and loved it at that age, too.  My mom took my brother and I to see it in the theaters after she accidentally saw it on a business trip (what she went to see was sold out and she needed a break) but this movie did not get widely known until it was out on video.    I am willing to believe Kevin got dragged to that movie because it was Kate's pick and he decided he loved it cause Sophie did (as it was established he was scared when they saw it in the theater) but this movie was kind of a theatrical flop.  All the kids at the party being familiar with it seems a little off to me.  Not enough that I minded, but since we're talking dates I thought I'd throw that out there.

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12 minutes ago, AriAu said:

I binge watched this show last week-what episode points that out? Also, Rebecca lives there too, right? Wonder when they all moved?

I can't remember how it was figured out, but there had been many clues pointing to the New Jersey area. One of their phone numbers has a New Jersey code, as pointed out above. Since NJ is not that far from New York, it's not out of the realm of possibilities that they live in New Jersey. It's probably a lot cheaper to live in an NJ suburban area than an NY suburban area. 

We don't know where Rebecca and Miguel live exactly, but it's clear now that they don't live in Pittsburg in their family home. They don't live in the city, as Rebecca's first appearance has her and Miguel stopping by Randall's on their way to the city. And seeing as Kate was/is staying with Rebecca, it seems like they live in the NJ area as well. 

I don't know if we know where in New York Randall works. I don't know if it's in Manhattan or in another borough. 

Rewatching parts of the episode, I didn't realize that Rebecca not only praised Randall as being the best kid ever with Jack, but Jack also called Kate his favourite kid to Kate. It's a small thing that in itself doesn't mean anything, but it's just further details displaying Kevin's middle child syndrome. Again, not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but we haven't heard Rebecca or Jack praise Kevin to the extent that they do with Kate and Randall. 

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9 minutes ago, ShadowFacts said:
20 minutes ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

And it would have spoiled Randall's party for him.  He's mature enough to realize that he wouldn't want to attend the party of someone whom he wasn't friends with;  why would he want to subject his schoolmates to the same discomfort?  He enjoyed his party just the way it was. I'd rather be with a few good friends than a bunch of people with whom I had little in common.

Rebecca said he did attend the classmates' parties, and they weren't his friends.  Every classmate isn't a friend of every other classmate, and still kids go, because (aside from their parents making the decision for them), they want other kids to come to their party.  That's the way those things work, and it's got to sting a little when you have almost zero reciprocity.  And sometimes in a non-school setting, without their parents and teacher around, kids can find out they might have found a new friend.  I've seen that with my own kids.

The truth is, my kids went to any birthday party they were invited to, unless there was a conflict, because it's the polite thing to do.  It does seem strange that the other parents didn't have their kids attend Randall's party.  However, Randall is new to the school and perhaps Rebecca and Jack don't realize that although the rule is, if you invite 1 kid from the class, you have to invite them all, in reality, the kids only go the the parties of those with whom they are good friends.  Therefore, they have Randall go to all the parties.

In my kids' school, the rule was that if you invited half the class kids of one gender to a party, you had to invite them all.  So if there were 12 boys in the class, you could invite up to the 5 with whom you were truly friendly. If you liked 7 of the boys, you invited all 12.

Edited by ItCouldBeWorse
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23 minutes ago, Sgt Pepper said:

Vogue was still out of place, because the bday party was in 1989.  I looked it up too!  

Loved the Kevin twist.  I was so afraid he would pick Olivia. 

We got a look at the 9th birthday and others to show how they had celebrated all together.  For ten Kevin pushed for individual parties, which was in 1990, with Vogue released in March of '90. 

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Re: Sophie/Sofie

I'm inclined to believe that she had a bigger impact on Kate than what we think.  Even if they were children, Kate seems be harboring some feelings of rejection and abandonment related to her specifically, feelings that rate right up there with her father's funeral.  We have already seen two instances in which she negatively impacted Kate's life, even at ten years old.  We haven't seen the teen years/marrying/divorcing her twin brother and the implications that come with that.  Nothing on this show has been accidental or buried, so for now I think Sophie is going to be a big catalyst throughout Kate's life.

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I just have to throw this into the mix: Politeness aside, what makes a school think it can mandate which kids are invited to birthday parties in private homes after school hours?  I don't remember the school getting involved in that at all when I was a kid, nor was it an issue when my daughter was small.  I just think it creates a lot of conflict and stress that might have been avoided, as long as the invitation-distribution was handled discreetly.  Of course, children aren't always known for their discretion in social matters like these, but it seems like an avoidable issue to me.  Maybe I feel this way because I never experienced such rules; I don't know.

Edited by SuzyLee
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2 minutes ago, SuzyLee said:

I just have to throw this into the mix: Politeness aside, what makes a school think it can mandate which kids are invited to birthday parties in private homes after school hours?  I don't remember the school getting involved in that at all when I was a kid, nor was it an issue when my daughter was small.  I just think it creates a lot of conflict and stress that might have been avoided, as long as the invitation-distribution was handled discreetly.  Of course, children aren't always known for their discretion in social matters like these, but it seems like an avoidable issue to me.

Randall is in a private school.  Never having gone to one, it seems to me that private schools pretty much make up their own rules.  Their funding comes from the parents, so if no one complains about the policy - or if they actually asked for the policy so kids don't feel left out - then the school can do whatever they choose. 

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Just now, izabella said:

Randall is in a private school.  Never having gone to one, it seems to me that private schools pretty much make up their own rules.  Their funding comes from the parents, so if no one complains about the policy - or if they actually asked for the policy so kids don't feel left out - then the school can do whatever they choose. 

Ah, okay, I can see the reason in that.  What about Kate and Kevin?  I believe they said their classes had similar rules (I'm not 100% on that).

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Just now, izabella said:
4 minutes ago, SuzyLee said:

I just have to throw this into the mix: Politeness aside, what makes a school think it can mandate which kids are invited to birthday parties in private homes after school hours?  I don't remember the school getting involved in that at all when I was a kid, nor was it an issue when my daughter was small.  I just think it creates a lot of conflict and stress that might have been avoided, as long as the invitation-distribution was handled discreetly.  Of course, children aren't always known for their discretion in social matters like these, but it seems like an avoidable issue to me.

Randall is in a private school.  Never having gone to one, it seems to me that private schools pretty much make up their own rules.  Their funding comes from the parents, so if no one complains about the policy - or if they actually asked for the policy so kids don't feel left out - then the school can do whatever they choose. 

It's a private school thing.  It's part of the school culture, an attempt to teach kindness and empathy. Not that public schools don't attempt to teach kindness, but they can't mandate birthday party rules, other than to forbid distributing invitations in school.

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After Jack's "we should have another kid," I thought for sure this week's twist was going to be that there was a fourth kid who died, and Kate's guilt over that somehow was going to be the source of her weight issue. Glad I was wrong.

Quote

I just have to throw this into the mix: Politeness aside, what makes a school think it can mandate which kids are invited to birthday parties in private homes after school hours? 

My son's school has this policy, but it's only if you are passing out invitations at the school. You can't give invitations to only some of your classmates; you must pass them out to all. (They have the same policy on valentines; you must give valentines to your entire class if you give them out.) However, if you send evites or mail out invitations you can invite whomever you want.

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11 minutes ago, SuzyLee said:

I just have to throw this into the mix: Politeness aside, what makes a school think it can mandate which kids are invited to birthday parties in private homes after school hours?  I don't remember the school getting involved in that at all when I was a kid, nor was it an issue when my daughter was small.  I just think it creates a lot of conflict and stress that might have been avoided, as long as the invitation-distribution was handled discreetly.  Of course, children aren't always known for their discretion in social matters like these, but it seems like an avoidable issue to me.  Maybe I feel this way because I never experienced such rules; I don't know.

If the invites are handed out at school, the school can set whatever rules they like. Many public schools have the same rule. 

I think Sophie became Kate's friend so she could be friends with Kevin. 

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Thanks for the info on geography and New Jersey certainly makes more sense.....except that they said that the cabin was an hour from home and was a huge part of their childhood etc... Where is the cabin-near NJ or Pitt?

I guess that means that we will get a story line about them moving to New Jersey after Jack's death.....or maybe before.

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