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S08.E06: A Shocking Revelation


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18 hours ago, Roslyn said:

It was very apparent in the language and body language with the Kody/Robyn/Meri talk at the wet bar in this episode.  Kody barked that he will NOT sit on the couch (where they have had other catfish talks with Nancy) and they will sit at the wet bar.  Meri immediately states she "isn't comfortable" sitting at the wet bar (where she is forced to be face to face with Kody), when he insists... her body language is telling.  She rolls her shoulders like a chastised child and starts to repeat over and over, "okay, this is where Kody wants to sit, Kody wants this, Kody wants to sit here" in near hysteria.

Loved your entire post, but I've been especially paying more attention to Meri's body language.  I re-watched the first part of this episode, specifically to watch Meri.

In Meri's talking heads where she's discussing Mariah, she's wearing the same clothes as she was wearing in the couch sessions where everyone was giggling about Tony and Caleb and weddings, etc.  So my guess is that all of that was filmed at the same time.  Now, at that point, everyone knows about Mariah.  Everyone also knows that Meri was having a hard time with it.  Meanwhile, the other wives are practically giddy in their blathering about Tony being great for Mykelti, Mykelti feeling so relaxed around him, Caleb being a few notches below a superhero, etc.  During all of that talk, Meri is sitting very still, hands folded and tucked under her crossed leg, not looking at anyone.  I recognize that posture because I used to use it myself during bouts of post-partum depression...tuck myself in as small as I can and sit stock still in an effort to not be noticed.  It's a "do not engage with me" posture.  And I found myself once again feeling bad for Meri, because while the other wives have every right to talk about their daughter's boyfriends/spouses, doing so in such a silly, giddy manner in front of Meri came across as rubbing her face in it.  Which I'm sure they were doing, subversively or not.  Because they will all have something Meri desperately wants and won't have, and they know it.  I see it as yet another twisted way that one wife can feel superior to another.  These women play a subtle, daily game of seeing who they can carefully step on in order to elevate themselves and get a little more of Kody's attention.  It's survival of the fittest, being played out every single day.  No wonder these women are all such a hot mess...except Robyn, because she is currently the lion, while the other wives are the antelopes.

 

14 hours ago, Bitsy said:

Remember when Robyn announced her first pregnancy and Mariah ran out of the room sobbing because of how her mother would feel?  Or that episode when the houses were almost finished and Meri said roughly 500 times that all Mariah wanted was to have Meri's house finished by Christmas?  Bullshit.  Yes, Mariah was the one crying about it, but it was clearly Meri who gave her the idea that her happiness rested on the stupid wet bar being ready in time for a Christmas cookie buffet.

When Meri made Mariah an accomplice in her plan to have an affair and desert the family, I think that was just the last straw.

I thought Mariah absolutely did the right thing during that porch conversation by remaining detached and not letting Meri force her into one of her emotionally manipulative conversations that would have been all about Meri's feelings.  Like Robyn said, Meri should be working through her feelings with other adults, not with Mariah and Mariah seemed to know that.  I think it shows maturity that she is able to stand up for herself to her mother while remaining calm.  She's the mature one in that relationship.

Another great post.  As Mariah herself said, "there's more to the story."  I think the bolded line is the part that we don't know about and probably never will, but more than one veiled reference has been made to the fact that much more went on that we won't get to see on film.

Edited by laurakaye
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Interesting observation about Meri's body language during the panel discussion, but, I'm not sure the other mothers were trying to shove their daughter's happiness in her face as a means to diss her.  To me, Meri has always been the one who wanted Mariah to be the queen bee, have the best and the most and she couldn't give a flip about how it might effect the other children, but, I don't think that Janelle or Christine are that way.  I think they were genuinely happy for their girls in their marriage/engagement AND that they were ALSO happy for Mariah in her announcement.  To me, maybe it was Meri, who just wasn't happy with it.  Her expectations are high.  Some people will not allow themselves to be happy and I have come to believe that Meri may be one of them.  Whether it's due to depression or some personality disorder, it seems to be prevalent with her.  I just can't see how it's other people's fault. 

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On 1/9/2017 at 7:22 PM, Sgt Pepper said:

The best/funniest part of the episode was Mykelti walking into the glass door.   I seriously laughed until I cried and rewound it about 15 times.  Yeesh.  I bet it hurt though! 

I think she may have just woken up from a nap right before she walked into the door.  She still seemed a little sleepy, and perhaps stunned from whacking her face on that door, when she was handing out the old/new/borrowed/blue assignments to the moms.  I felt bad for her, but also laughed.  Because I'm a terrible person...but hey, she wasn't hurt, so it's okay to laugh, right?  RIGHT??

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I must be in the minority, but, I never laugh when someone falls, hits their head, slips, etc.  Maybe, I'm overly sensitive, but, it never occurs to me that it's funny.  I was even like that as a kid.  I've seen that a lot of people thought the glass door walk was hilarious, even her family.  I just don't get it. 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

In Meri's talking heads where she's discussing Mariah, she's wearing the same clothes as she was wearing in the couch sessions where everyone was giggling about Tony and Caleb and weddings, etc.  So my guess is that all of that was filmed at the same time.  Now, at that point, everyone knows about Mariah.  Everyone also knows that Meri was having a hard time with it.  Meanwhile, the other wives are practically giddy in their blathering about Tony being great for Mykelti, Mykelti feeling so relaxed around him, Caleb being a few notches below a superhero, etc.  During all of that talk, Meri is sitting very still, hands folded and tucked under her crossed leg, not looking at anyone.

Yes, Meri is definitely "processing" in her head at those times.  She also has some of that classic foot action going that she showed during the whole season when the catfish was going on in real time. 

I don't think that the other wives really think about what they are discussing might be hurting Meri, just because Meri does only think about "wooa is me".  I'm sure Meri is listening to them bubble about Caleb and their new found like in Tony, but Meri is just "oh, I'll never feel this joy with my daughter" kind of thing, instead of being able to step outside her world and feel happiness for them. 

Janelle is easy to figure out, her thinking process is way too slow for her to be very pokerfaced. She has adopted the blank stare to pretty much cover up any reactions besides that odd giddyness that she sometimes shows, it came out loud and clear during the cake testing.  Christine is Christine, I think we see her as she truly is, her emotions are right there in her face, her body and the things that just fall from her mouth with zero filter.  Robyn....well....she understands a LOT about body language I believe and has developed that clenched jaw poker face that resembles what I see people calling a "resting bitch face", but I think that is her purposefully making her face emotionless. 

I also know that body stance very well.  I was a painfully shy child and an introvert bordering on hermit as an adult.  I have my own dealings with anxiety and depression and PTSD issues and one of my first "tells" is going very still.  Only my daughter and son can recognize it, my husband of 26 years still struggles with my anxiety issues and being able to recognize or have empathy for it.

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1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I must be in the minority, but, I never laugh when someone falls, hits their head, slips, etc.  Maybe, I'm overly sensitive, but, it never occurs to me that it's funny.  I was even like that as a kid.  I've seen that a lot of people thought the glass door walk was hilarious, even her family.  I just don't get it. 

If she would have been seriously injured, it wouldn't be funny.   But, I felt this was.  It was so random.  

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Are Mormons/AUB allowed to do IVF ? Don't look at me like that, I understand people go against their religious tenants all the time, but I'm just wondering...Kody has announced publically that they accept Mariah (which I believe is contrary to their stated beliefs) and it's implied they will be accepting if she chooses down the road to have children via IVF. 

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2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I must be in the minority, but, I never laugh when someone falls, hits their head, slips, etc.  Maybe, I'm overly sensitive, but, it never occurs to me that it's funny.  I was even like that as a kid.  I've seen that a lot of people thought the glass door walk was hilarious, even her family.  I just don't get it. 

me either...I take no joy in humiliation. 

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Just now, Kohola3 said:

Ditto.  That's why I could never watch those funniest home video shows. I always cringed instead of laughed at the mishaps.  Maybe it was the decades I spent as an ER nurse.

Same here (EMT). All I see is mechanism of injury.......

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I think I'll always feel bad for Meri when it comes to Meriah's bad attitude. There comes a time when all of us realize our parents are human beings and make plenty of mistakes. Mariah should grow up and deal with it.

i remember when my ex-husband and I were getting a divorce, I cried and carried on and had so many nervous breakdowns that I thought I had destroyed my kids lives because I was such a terrible example of what a strong woman should be. So much happened around that time including the death of my dad, that I don't even recall everything I said and did. I do know that my daughters were forced to deal with my emotional state. If they held a grudge against me for that time, I would be practically begging for them to talk it out. My own conscience and guilt punished me enough and it still does when I think back. I just can't imagine how much worse it could have gotten if my daughters were terrible, unforgiving brats like Mariah. 

I understand why Meri wants to make things right with Mariah and why she is trying so hard. I don't think I'd necessarily take the approach she is taking but I do understand it. As mothers, we often sacrifice so much for our children, putting them first before ourselves, loving and teaching them, spoon feeding them and wiping their butts for god's sake, and then the child grows up and has the nerve to essentially tell us to fuck off when we make a mistake. I'm not saying their relationship has to be as close as it was but I really think meriah needs to drop it. 

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17 minutes ago, Nowhere said:

I think I'll always feel bad for Meri when it comes to Meriah's bad attitude. There comes a time when all of us realize our parents are human beings and make plenty of mistakes. Mariah should grow up and deal with it.

i remember when my ex-husband and I were getting a divorce, I cried and carried on and had so many nervous breakdowns that I thought I had destroyed my kids lives because I was such a terrible example of what a strong woman should be. So much happened around that time including the death of my dad, that I don't even recall everything I said and did. I do know that my daughters were forced to deal with my emotional state. If they held a grudge against me for that time, I would be practically begging for them to talk it out. My own conscience and guilt punished me enough and it still does when I think back. I just can't imagine how much worse it could have gotten if my daughters were terrible, unforgiving brats like Mariah. 

I understand why Meri wants to make things right with Mariah and why she is trying so hard. I don't think I'd necessarily take the approach she is taking but I do understand it. As mothers, we often sacrifice so much for our children, putting them first before ourselves, loving and teaching them, spoon feeding them and wiping their butts for god's sake, and then the child grows up and has the nerve to essentially tell us to fuck off when we make a mistake. I'm not saying their relationship has to be as close as it was but I really think meriah needs to drop it. 

Substitute sons for daughters and mother for dad and I have the same scenario. My grown sons still love me despite my bad example during that awful time.  I so agree with your post. 

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6 hours ago, Lovecat said:

I think she may have just woken up from a nap right before she walked into the door.  She still seemed a little sleepy, and perhaps stunned from whacking her face on that door, when she was handing out the old/new/borrowed/blue assignments to the moms.  I felt bad for her, but also laughed.  Because I'm a terrible person...but hey, she wasn't hurt, so it's okay to laugh, right?  RIGHT??

My husband had me rewind this a few times.  I figured he sits through this shit with me sometimes the least I can do is give him a good laugh.  

 

** After reading some posts upthread I feel I need to note that husband would not have laughed if she were hurt.  He first saw the aftermath.  We have both walked into those types of doors. He is the first to help when someone falls or is injured in his vicinity.  Just didn't want people thinking Mr. Natalie is an asshole.

Edited by Natalie68
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19 hours ago, maraleia said:

Watching this episode made me see how uniformed all of the parents are about LGBTQ issues because as accepting as Robyn is she still said sexual preference when it's sexual orientation. They really need to do some research and there are numerous websites out there and an LGBTQ center in Vegas. There's no excuse for this when one lives in a metropolitan area in the western world.

Many posters on this site used sexual preference, and the term "t*****", to the extent that mods gave warnings, and posted acceptable terminology from LGBTQ.  We could all educate ourselves on this topic.  For the background, I think the Browns are doing well.  Imagine the reaction of the Duggars.

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33 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

My husband had me rewind this a few times.  I figured he sits through this shit with me sometimes the least I can do is give him a good laugh.  

 

** After reading some posts upthread I feel I need to note that husband would not have laughed if she were hurt.  He first saw the aftermath.  We have both walked into those types of doors. He is the first to help when someone falls or is injured in his vicinity.  Just didn't want people thinking Mr. Natalie is an asshole.

Mr. Natalie is good. Mykelti didn't get attacked by a prarie dog or anything.

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On 1/8/2017 at 9:34 PM, VedaPierce said:

Words I never thought I would write: I'm so impressed with Kody Brown tonight. 

Every kid that comes out should get that much love and acceptance from their dad. I am surprisingly touched by KODY. Down is now up. :)

If only his words were not for the camera as a mechanism to showcase himself and his awesomeness.

I felt like his words came straight out of a Lifetime movie.

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1 hour ago, KateHearts said:

If only his words were not for the camera as a mechanism to showcase himself and his awesomeness.

I felt like his words came straight out of a Lifetime movie.

I felt his words came from a round table discussion with the producers and whatever advisors they brought in so that the wrong thing wouldn't be said and get them in hot water.  I don't believe Kody is that thoughtful and circumspect.

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19 minutes ago, riverblue22 said:

I don't believe Kody is that thoughtful and circumspect.

Totally agree.  If it's not about him, he puts no thought into anything married to him or related to him.  "Thought" and "Kody" are mutually exclusive words.

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Hubby and I rewound and giggled.  Mostly because I have tried to walk through glass walls and doors half a dozen times since we met. 

Theres even a face shaped stretched bulge in our screen door from my attempt to go check on the grill this summer!  

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10 hours ago, riverblue22 said:

I felt his words came from a round table discussion with the producers and whatever advisors they brought in so that the wrong thing wouldn't be said and get them in hot water.  I don't believe Kody is that thoughtful and circumspect.

Yes. His statements were rehearsed. Most likely everyone knew in the family but Meri. Kody knows that he needs act supportive if he doesn't want to be fired from TLC. 

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On January 9, 2017 at 2:52 PM, laurakaye said:

I think the very best part of this episode was hearing Logan talk about how Mariah confided in him first out of all her brothers and sisters.  Testament again to the part Logan played in the lives of his siblings.

First out of EVERYBODY! Adults and brothers and sisters! :) he's the true head of that 'household', bless his heart. 

Edited by VedaPierce
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16 minutes ago, VedaPierce said:

First out of EVERYBODY! Adults and brothers and sisters! :) he's the head of that 'household', bless his heart. 

Logan is a good egg. He was the primary caregiver for Janelle's batch of children during the years they ran away from megalomaniac Kody.  Then, when they all lived together in the tri-plex, he probably cared for ALL the children on the days Christine got Kody (what a prize) or when she was too mentally ill to be present. 

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On 1/9/2017 at 3:03 PM, hnygrl said:

I am 100% aware that Meri's Misery (capital M) is of her own making and choosing.

But dammit.

NO ONE should be that ALONE. In a plural marriage, with three "Sister" wives and a billion kids?

She's all alone in the universe. She's got No One. No parents, no siblings, no kids, no husband (he divorced her for the newest model and she's just supposed to automatically be okay with it). She's screwed up. Big time. We all do. And we all pay the price for our big time screw ups. We all do. She's paying the price for her nasty, stinking, I'm the real wifey and you're all concubines attitude. But still.

Nobody deserves to be that alone in the universe.

Every time she's on screen my heart just weeps for her. She looks so lost, forlorn, HOPELESS even. Just...geeze...empty. My heart breaks for her. Seriously. Nobody "deserves" to be that alone in the universe.

I get it. I do. But.

What ever happened to unconditional love and forgiveness? Isn't that what this plural marriage ideal is supposed to be about? I don't know...I get that Mariah's not there yet and probably will never be there at this rate. Maybe when she's in her 30's and has a kid of her own she may come to the point where she can tolerate her mom again, but not yet (lesbians have kids every day). So that I get.

But still. She's got nobody. Everybody  in her world has turned their backs on her. Everybody. I couldn't take that.

I wanted to comment on the prospect of Meri being alone.  I'm not so sure that this is the case, but, if she is alone, I wonder why she has chosen that.  I mean, she is the one who says that she barely speaks to her sister wife in the driveway.  And she is the one who told Kody to stay away from her.  And she is the one who isolated herself from the other wives.  And what about her family in Utah? She has them. Doesn't she come from a large family and has many siblings?  Plus, what about all the relationships she had with all the daughters?  They used to come to her house and spend time. She even had a special room for them, but, it seems that she stopped that when she became so preoccupied with Sam.   

Meri had the opportunity to become a mom again, but, she hemmed and hawed about it so long, never making a decision.....so Kody felt it wasn't right.  Then she said she was going back to college.  Lots of people there to have as friends, but, what happened to that?  

And, there is her therapy.  Certainly with Meri having so much therapy, her therapist is advising her to develop her support system.  And if she doesn't have one, I bet the therapist would help her build one.  Who has Meri been hanging out with? I'm posting a link that has a photo of her with someone she says is a friend taken in Vegas in Oct. 2016.  

http://www.inquisitr.com/3565710/sister-wives-news-source-reveals-meri-brown-is-dating-man-from-hawaii/

I guess that I'm not convinced that Meri is that alone and if she is, it's self imposed.  She seems to be communicating with the other ladies who were catfished by Sam, so maybe, that's been a support system for her.  I hope so.  I don't think it's good for anyone to feel all alone, but, you can't make someone reach out and get better either.  Maybe, sometimes you exhaust people with all the discussions that go nowhere. 

http://people.com/tv/sister-wives-meri-brown-reveals-why-she-pushed-kody-away-catfishing-scandal/

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20 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I wanted to comment on the prospect of Meri being alone.  I'm not so sure that this is the case, but, if she is alone, I wonder why she has chosen that.  I mean, she is the one who says that she barely speaks to her sister wife in the driveway.  And she is the one who told Kody to stay away from her.  And she is the one who isolated herself from the other wives.  And what about her family in Utah? She has them. Doesn't she come from a large family and has many siblings?  Plus, what about all the relationships she had with all the daughters?  They used to come to her house and spend time. She even had a special room for them, but, it seems that she stopped that when she became so preoccupied with Sam.   

Meri had the opportunity to become a mom again, but, she hemmed and hawed about it so long, never making a decision.....so Kody felt it wasn't right.  Then she said she was going back to college.  Lots of people there to have as friends, but, what happened to that?  

And, there is her therapy.  Certainly with Meri having so much therapy, her therapist is advising her to develop her support system.  And if she doesn't have one, I bet the therapist would help her build one.  Who has Meri been hanging out with? I'm posting a link that has a photo of her with someone she says is a friend taken in Vegas in Oct. 2016.  

http://www.inquisitr.com/3565710/sister-wives-news-source-reveals-meri-brown-is-dating-man-from-hawaii/

I guess that I'm not convinced that Meri is that alone and if she is, it's self imposed.  She seems to be communicating with the other ladies who were catfished by Sam, so maybe, that's been a support system for her.  I hope so.  I don't think it's good for anyone to feel all alone, but, you can't make someone reach out and get better either.  Maybe, sometimes you exhaust people with all the discussions that go nowhere. 

http://people.com/tv/sister-wives-meri-brown-reveals-why-she-pushed-kody-away-catfishing-scandal/

Meri is complicated. She seems to be unhappy where she's at, wants something else, but seems hesitant to actually step away on her own. I'm guessing she hasn't finished college or we'd have heard an announcement that she graduated. She keeps coming back to what she knows, even if she's not happy because it is familiar to her. 

I hate to make this comparison but I've seen women in bad situations, completely unhappy, but they kept going back to that unpleasant situation because the somehow felt "comfortable" there. Maybe it was bad at times, but it was consistent. They reported fear of change, fear of failure, and then where would they be? And of course the man is like, "told you you couldn't make it" and so on. 

Maybe I'm completely wrong here but she keeps dabbling in different things, shows signs of desperately wanting something else, then rejects that idea saying she shouldn't have pushed her family away, then looks sad all over again. 

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Similar to an abusive relationship, Meri tries to appear "happy" on and off. We don't see much of the happy. Traits of abusers have been said to be similar in domestic violence, prisoners of war and cults. Interesting, to me.

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8 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

BINGO!

I mean to to include the quote that this "Bingo!" was in reply to, which was: "I feel strongly that Mariah's true anger lies in the fact that her beloved Kody was rejected, and that her mother was no longer spending 100% of her time worshipping at the altar of Mariah."

I agree that a lot of Mariah's anger stems from this but I also believe Meri raised Marian to worship Kody and to believe that her mother and father had a perfect relationship. It sounds like they Mariah grew up doing everything with Meri in more of friend relationship than mother-daughter and Mariah was an only child so she probably felt worshiped. To me, Meri built this world up around Mariah and then tore it down so while I recognize Mariah's bratty behavior I do sympathize with her. 

2 hours ago, VedaPierce said:

First out of EVERYBODY! Adults and brothers and sisters! :) he's the head of that 'household', bless his heart. 

I also thought it was super sweet, in his talking head, how he made sure to keep the focus on Mariah. He mentioned how emotional he got that Mariah confided in him but he made sure to say that Mariah's emotions were more important. He's a good dude. 

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I have quite a bit of experience with disappointing moms, my own mom was never there for me, and maybe that's why I have a biased opinion as far as Mariah and Meri's relationship... but I still think Mariah needs to either talk it out or move on. 

I get Mariah is mad, I think I get why she's mad (despite this playing out on tv I don't know that any of us can truly know what exactly is going on with the dynamic between them)  and I don't blame her... like I said I've been there. The thing is, I recognized that my mom was toxic, and I was never going to have a close relationship with her and cut off our relationship, meaning I also stood on my own 2 feet, I didn't accept money, gifts, help from her. I think this is what makes me so mad about this situation with Mariah, I said it before, for someone so hurt and angry by Meri, she certainly seems to keep her hand outstretched for benefits. I'm not saying they need to have a big flowery I forgive you speech (although now that I typed that out I wonder if that stop is going to be pulled soon) I'm not saying that they need to be super close, but if Mariah wants her mom to be in her life she needs to be civil and quit trying to force an apology that clearly isn't going to happen, genuinely at least. If she is that mad that she truly wants to separate that relationship, then do it, but this in between is not healthy for anybody involved. I'm sure given their family that it would be hard and not realistic to cut off all contact between Meri and Mariah... but if Jenelle and Meri can coexist for 20 something years than I think Meri and Mariah could figure it out too. Again I'm not saying that's what should happen or it's what is best, but I'm just tired of this drawn out drama. 

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Random thoughts.

If you have never lived in a warm climate where sliding doors are part of your life you may not understand how hysterical it is to see someone walk into one. I have done it 4 times and twice got a black eye because I was on a fast clip.  Everyone collapsed into hysterics every time, including myself!

I think Mariah is very happy in her life at college and with her older and accepting siblings.  Doesn't surprise me that she is closer to Kody. She sees is an upbeat dad who is there for her without angst.  Meri drives us nuts, can you imagine what full time Meri could do?  Mariah said there is more, of course there is!  Meri cannot say the word gay without hesitating first.  ***eye roll***  Google it, Meri. 

Robin has experience in the real world outside of this family and it shows in her ability to mediate.  

I am impressed with Maddie and Cody, Mariah too. I would love to see more of their lives.  Spin off, please. 

Edited by wings707
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29 minutes ago, mamey2422 said:

 

I also thought it was super sweet, in his talking head, how he made sure to keep the focus on Mariah. He mentioned how emotional he got that Mariah confided in him but he made sure to say that Mariah's emotions were more important. He's a good dude. 

Could Logan be Meri's brother's son?...  He's nothing like Kody (or Janelle). 

31 minutes ago, mamey2422 said:

 

I also thought it was super sweet, in his talking head, how he made sure to keep the focus on Mariah. He mentioned how emotional he got that Mariah confided in him but he made sure to say that Mariah's emotions were more important. He's a good dude. 

Could Logan be Meri's brother's son?...  He's nothing like Kody (or Janelle). 

Shower thought -- Could Meri be a lesbian too?

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2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Who has Meri been hanging out with? I'm posting a link that has a photo of her with someone she says is a friend taken in Vegas in Oct. 2016.  

http://www.inquisitr.com/3565710/sister-wives-news-source-reveals-meri-brown-is-dating-man-from-hawaii/

I seem to remember that it came out in subsequent reports that he was just someone she met, but that he has a husband of his own in Hawaii.

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7 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I seem to remember that it came out in subsequent reports that he was just someone she met, but that he has a husband of his own in Hawaii.

Surprised this keeps coming up since it's been disproved in this very forum (I believe in the Meri thread) multiple times...

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1 hour ago, leighroda said:

The thing is, I recognized that my mom was toxic, and I was never going to have a close relationship with her and cut off our relationship, meaning I also stood on my own 2 feet, I didn't accept money, gifts, help from her. I think this is what makes me so mad about this situation with Mariah, I said it before, for someone so hurt and angry by Meri, she certainly seems to keep her hand outstretched for benefits. I'm not saying they need to have a big flowery I forgive you speech (although now that I typed that out I wonder if that stop is going to be pulled soon) I'm not saying that they need to be super close, but if Mariah wants her mom to be in her life she needs to be civil and quit trying to force an apology that clearly isn't going to happen, genuinely at least. If she is that mad that she truly wants to separate that relationship, then do it, but this in between is not healthy for anybody involved. 

See, I'd flip the bolded part.  If Meri wants her daughter to be in her life she needs to be civil and quit trying to force her to give blanket forgiveness on television that clearly isn't going to happen.  Mariah isn't refusing to speak with her, bad mouthing her to the press, living apart, giving her the cold shoulder. She told her up front last year on camera that she loves her and just needs space.  She just isn't willing to pretend everything is all better because it's not.  She wants time and space to process it, which she hasn't gotten because Meri keeps coming at her wanting the "everything's fine, nothing to see here, it was all just a big misunderstanding."  

Many people go through life seldom apologizing, or when they do, tempering them with "I'm sorry IF..." or "I'm sorry that YOU feel like I..." And it works for them just fine until they run into someone who finally tells them that "sorry" doesn't magically erase what happened.  The last few confrontations with Mariah have come off (to me) like Meri expressing her exasperation that Mariah doesn't just drop it, already.  SHE wants to talk about it (Mariah doesn't.)  SHE wants to understand (Mariah thinks they've already had that conversation). SHE needs to know what Mariah is thinking/feeling (Mariah has said she doesn't feel like sharing that at present, thank you.) 

Where some see an immature kid stonewalling an anxious parent, I see a young adult refusing to play a game she's lived with her entire life, especially on camera.  

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When it comes to the notion that Meri shouldn't pay for Mariah's college etc...

This isn't a traditional situation. They are a  family on reality show. Meri isn't out in the real world busting her ass for a living. 

I'd rather see the TLC money used as college education for all the kids who have participated on this show from young ages (helping the parents afford to sit home all day on their lazy ignorant  asses) vs. more Hobby Lobby bullshit  decorations for Meri's house.

Edited by Sista Snarky
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3 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Similar to an abusive relationship, Meri tries to appear "happy" on and off. We don't see much of the happy. Traits of abusers have been said to be similar in domestic violence, prisoners of war and cults. Interesting, to me.

I'll go so far as to say that polygamy *is* an emotionally abusive relationship for the women involved, especially a woman like Meri who does want a partner and does love the man but is forced to watch him with his other women every hour of every day. There's no torment quite like that one and it really shows on Meri's face. She'll never hide that with any amount of heavy makeup and floppy hair, much as she tries.

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21 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

** After reading some posts upthread I feel I need to note that husband would not have laughed if she were hurt.  He first saw the aftermath.  We have both walked into those types of doors. He is the first to help when someone falls or is injured in his vicinity.  Just didn't want people thinking Mr. Natalie is an asshole.

I can't speak for others, but when I laugh in those situations - it's not AT the person involved. It's more because I'm a total klutz and can relate. 

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10 hours ago, CofCinci said:

Yes. His statements were rehearsed. Most likely everyone knew in the family but Meri. 

I've been reading here for months,  and just now made an account so that I could comment that this is EXACTLY what I believe happened.  Mariah is so filled with hate that she went out of her way to hurt her mom. 

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On 1/9/2017 at 0:15 AM, tabloidlover said:

If I had a dollar for every time Meri said  "I want"  or  "I fill"  or  "I thought"...  She truly cannot think about any situation from any perspective other than how it affects HER.  

I disagree.  I think Meri makes these statements because that's what counselors tell you to do. Counselors constantly make you rephase all your comments to start this way.  It forces you to accept that you control your thoughts. For example, if you tell a counselor, "he said he would love me forever," the counselor will make you rephrase it to "I thought he would love me forever. "  If you say, "you shouldn't turn your back on me when I'm speaking, " you will be told to rephrase it, "I feel hurt when you . . . "  I don't find her speech patterns to be anything other than her trying to buy into the counseling.  

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1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

I can't speak for others, but when I laugh in those situations - it's not AT the person involved. It's more because I'm a total klutz and can relate. 

Me too!  My klutzy behavior is a joke between us.  My sister fell badly outside a restaurant a couple of years ago and NO ONE stopped to help her and she was alone.  It was the type of fall that makes you want to vomit because the pain is so bad.  This brought Mr. Natalie to tears (he's a 6'2 giant softie).  But don't think he doesn't tease me about breaking my own nose in a stupid opening the door accident!  

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29 minutes ago, Swim mom said:

I disagree.  I think Meri makes these statements because that's what counselors tell you to do. Counselors constantly make you rephase all your comments to start this way.  It forces you to accept that you control your thoughts. For example, if you tell a counselor, "he said he would love me forever," the counselor will make you rephrase it to "I thought he would love me forever. "  If you say, "you shouldn't turn your back on me when I'm speaking, " you will be told to rephrase it, "I feel hurt when you . . . "  I don't find her speech patterns to be anything other than her trying to buy into the counseling.  

You make a good point--I hadn't thought of the fact that counselors do tell you to make "I" statements. And I do not think that Meri is thinking only of herself even though she does seem to have that tendency in many situations. I think she does care about how Mariah feels and wants Mariah to be happy.

Meri has faults and has made mistakes, but I don't think anyone would argue the fact that she does love her daughter.

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7 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I wanted to comment on the prospect of Meri being alone.  I'm not so sure that this is the case, but, if she is alone, I wonder why she has chosen that.  I mean, she is the one who says that she barely speaks to her sister wife in the driveway.  And she is the one who told Kody to stay away from her.  And she is the one who isolated herself from the other wives.  And what about her family in Utah? She has them. Doesn't she come from a large family and has many siblings?  Plus, what about all the relationships she had with all the daughters?  They used to come to her house and spend time. She even had a special room for them, but, it seems that she stopped that when she became so preoccupied with Sam.   

Meri had the opportunity to become a mom again, but, she hemmed and hawed about it so long, never making a decision.....so Kody felt it wasn't right.  Then she said she was going back to college.  Lots of people there to have as friends, but, what happened to that?  

And, there is her therapy.  Certainly with Meri having so much therapy, her therapist is advising her to develop her support system.  And if she doesn't have one, I bet the therapist would help her build one.  Who has Meri been hanging out with? I'm posting a link that has a photo of her with someone she says is a friend taken in Vegas in Oct. 2016.  

http://www.inquisitr.com/3565710/sister-wives-news-source-reveals-meri-brown-is-dating-man-from-hawaii/

I guess that I'm not convinced that Meri is that alone and if she is, it's self imposed.  She seems to be communicating with the other ladies who were catfished by Sam, so maybe, that's been a support system for her.  I hope so.  I don't think it's good for anyone to feel all alone, but, you can't make someone reach out and get better either.  Maybe, sometimes you exhaust people with all the discussions that go nowhere. 

http://people.com/tv/sister-wives-meri-brown-reveals-why-she-pushed-kody-away-catfishing-scandal/

There is a difference between "alone" and "lonely". Meri is very obviously lonely. I think she is also very depressed, not only because of the circumstances but possibly because of a depressive disorder. I fight depression on a daily basis and it's not something I can choose. If I could choose to not be depressed I would and problem solved but that's not my reality.  I also have family but I feel that I can't really talk to them. Nobody really understands and I can see that Meri probably feels like nobody understands her. Nobody else was the first wife with fertility issues and a terrible relationship with wife #2, divorced for a younger model, and now cold-shouldered by the other wives and her daughter because now Meri is the bad wife who talked to another man. I honestly don't see Meri going to Christine's dumb ass for support. Obviously Kody and jenelle are out because they are both assholes. Who's left? The new wife Kody divorced her for? It's such a complicated situation. I think it must be very hard for any of them to live this lifestyle but it seems the other wives are coping much better than Meri is. She needs to get out of there and she needs therapy. I do think she shows signs of being in an abusive relationship. The only way is for her to heal is to get as far away from Kody as possible. It's not right for a religion to put women in a situations where they have to compete to be loved. 

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Quote

 

Sorry, I meant to quote no one.  Sometimes, when posting around here things take a mind of their own and I can't get the quote box to leave. 

Anyway, I don't know of many abusive husbands who take responsibility for the problems in the marriage, agree to do what the other spouse wants, defend the other spouse's actions to their child, insist on extensive counseling with a therapist and who defends the other spouse, while encouraging her to do whatever it takes to feel better about herself.  That's what Kody has done, so I don't get the abusive part.  Some people won't let you be nice to them. 

Clinical depression is a painful thing and I do sympathize for those who suffer, but, if a person don't get help or treatment, then, I don't feel they should be defended when they are in the wrong.  Sometimes your own actions run people away.  Oh, when things are going her way, Meri seems quite different.  If she is sick, I hope she's getting help. I would think that with all her therapy sessions, she would have mentioned if she was depressed.  Christine did and whatever treatment she got has worked quite well for her. 

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2 hours ago, Swim mom said:

I disagree.  I think Meri makes these statements because that's what counselors tell you to do. Counselors constantly make you rephase all your comments to start this way.  It forces you to accept that you control your thoughts. For example, if you tell a counselor, "he said he would love me forever," the counselor will make you rephrase it to "I thought he would love me forever. "  If you say, "you shouldn't turn your back on me when I'm speaking, " you will be told to rephrase it, "I feel hurt when you . . . "  I don't find her speech patterns to be anything other than her trying to buy into the counseling.  

I agree and I think she is also being prompted in her talking heads to talk about how she feels. 

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You obviously haven't educated yourself on mental illness or you wouldn't have said any of that. It is wrong to assume that a depressed person will seek help for themselves in all cases. I wish it were so. Then suicide wouldn't be the 16th leading cause of death for females and 7th for males.

There is a lot that people won't admit, even to a therapist.

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Stray thoughts:

Meri and Mariah. Because of the emotionally isolating nature of polygamy, and Meri's apparent emotional neediness, and because she had just one child, Meri always used Mariah as an emotional prop and enmeshed with her daughter to a disturbing and dysfunctional degree (remember when Meri and Kody were supposedly mulling over in vitro, and they had to involve Mariah in the conversation? Ew--just no.) Meri's behavior during the catfishing not only flew in the face of everything they privately and publicly espoused, but she dragged her daughter into it with her, even though Mariah adores her father and was telling Meri straight up that she was being duped. It's no surprise to me that Mariah's now got a huge wall up; I imagine every time she sees Meri come shuffling and shrugging in her direction with that hangdog look on her face, Mariah wants to run like hell, every cell in her body howling, "NO...you will not reabsorb me like a hungry amoeba!!" I think Meri's best bet is to be sure she's fully admitted her failure and apologized to Mariah, and to tell Mariah that, because she understands and respects her, she'll give Mariah whatever time she needs. Basically, "Honey, I love you with all my heart, and you know that I'm right here, always and forever." Then BACK THE FUCK OFF. Mariah loves her mom; if Meri can just let her go, Mariah will come back when her instincts tell her that Meri won't try to psychically consume her again.

Miss Lonely Heart. I really agree with the assessment that Meri is deeply alone, and once again I think polygamy can take most of that indictment. Sure, in theory plural marriage should make you less alone--and that's the luminous party line they repeatedly feed viewers: "Golly gosh, sister wives have a bond that poor, benighted monogamous women couldn't understand in a million years!" But they talk out both sides of their collective mouths. Polygamy sets them in competition with each other for every single scrap of personal relationship and resource. When your "husband" is with you, the last thing you want is any horning in your time by a sister wife. Other than Robyn, the wives all know damned well that if Kody is not under their roof, they'd best make themselves scarce so as not to look like a usurper or buttinsky. I'm a persona who absolutely craves alone time, and even I can't imagine rattling about in that big house like a pebble in a barrel, only child gone from the nest, husband rarely around (even when she actually needs help with things like home repairs? Jesus, what a bred-in-the-bone asshole Kody is!), staring down your middle age and encroaching menopausal years as more of the same nothing, locked in even tighter by having made your life a public spectacle. What a pit of despair. I'm not saying she's a victim or that she has no way to get out, I'm just acknowledging that everything in her life from childhood forward promised her that adhering to plural marriage would make her life better, and it has done nothing but corrode her sense of self, rob her of agency, and feed her the lie that if she could somehow just somehow be happy with her shitty life, all the pieces would fall in place. It's really, really tough to break out of a literal lifetime of indoctrination. I don't like Meri, but I do feel empathy for the desolate rut she's living in.

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1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Anyway, I don't know of many abusive husbands who take responsibility for the problems in the marriage, agree to do what the other spouse wants, defend the other spouse's actions to their child, insist on extensive counseling with a therapist and who defends the other spouse, while encouraging her to do whatever it takes to feel better about herself.  That's what Kody has done, so I don't get the abusive part.  Some people won't let you be nice to them. 

*****Kody has stated before that the emotional state of his wives is not his problem, and he certainly behaves like it's not his problem.

*****Neglect is a form of abuse. Meri wants a normal relationship with her husband but she'll never have one, and if she suffers because of this she's told it's her fault and her problem, not his. He does nothing to provide for her emotional needs. Nothing. In fact, it's worse than nothing because she has to watch him with other women every single day. She should get herself out of there but that's a very tough choice to make. Meri is in a absolute no-win situation.

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On 1/9/2017 at 9:25 AM, laurakaye said:

We could buy our own island, a personal jet for each of us, and fly in to have Sister Wives drinking parties!

We don't even need our own island - I know a place with a fantastic wet bar! 

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Things that were creepy about this episode:

  • Kody asking Mariah specific questions about her "girl crushes" ("Did you have girl crushes?  What kinds of girl crushes?  How many girls?") 
  • Robyn's explanation of lesbian fertility and "baby-making juice"
  • Mady (who usually doesn't bother me) making that joke about the parents hearing their...noises...through the walls.
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