S05.E24: Unreal World

[Primetimer]

Wherein Brandon finds he has a talent for 'playing' someone obnoxious.

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[Primetimer]

We've collected all the most important visuals from 'Unreal World'!

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[bilgistic]

I want to slap that stupid soul patch off Brandon's face.

[adam807]

Drying dishes is one of those bits of stage business I've never understood because I've never ever done it. And in this shot there's a drying rack RIGHT THERE. Put the plate down and go do something else, Andrea!

[Ions Earring]

hypnothera-? oh wait- no..NO! NO!!

[MerBearStare]

Barf, David's facial hair, if you can even call it that. He looks like the boys in the my 8th grade class who were also attempting to grow mustaches. 

I thought this when I looked at last week's visual aids and it looks like the hair people on the show are still doing it this week. I think what they were going for with Donna's curly hair was Drew Barrymore, but Drew had much softer and more natural looking hair, so it actually looked good on her. Whereas on Tori...oof.

Edited January 2, 2017 by MerBearStare

[kellysdietpills]

all the yes to steve and clare--by far my fave couple in the gang!

[Silly Angel]

I liked revisiting the coupling up of the Niners in this episode. Pretty soon we'll be into Kelly's next (AWESOME) crisis and despite the coming horrors, it's nice to see everyone paired up. This is where it begins, IIRC.

[TeeVee329]

Having not rewatched the episode, who called Steve to tell him about Celeste's engagement?  Did she call him herself, that would be bizarre! 

When Tara said something about Kelly not having a substance abuse problem, I literally replied, out loud in an empty room, "Nooot yeeeeet!" and then I rubbed my hands with glee at the Cokehead!Kelly ahead.

Edited January 2, 2017 by TeeVee329

[Dave in Chicago]

I can't believe this is an actual episode of television that happened on this planet.

[marny]

I can't get over Claire's hair in that one picture.  You can't even see her terrible eyebrows!

[Dave in Chicago]

Also - how many tv shows have done fake "Real World" episodes?  There's this, "Boy Meets World", "Happy Endings"... and wikipedia just informed me that Shannen Doherty got in on the trend while hosting SNL.  No video, but transcript here: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93breal.phtml

[benteen]

That guy in the hotel should have taken Val up on her offer.  Dude, you are NOT going to get an offer like that again!

[MissEwa]

I know the styling for Andrea was always terrible, and always made her look muuuuch older than she was supposed to be, but a close-up of her "20 year old" hands? Whose idea was that? 

Speaking of age though, I hate this episode but at least this is the kind of thing a bunch of 20-year-olds would do, unlike running nightclubs and working on screenplays with 40-somethings. I hate time jumps but I do kind of wish 90210 had just done one - these people look and act so much older than they're supposed to be.  

Kelly's whole rant about how all men cheat is one of the main things I remember from this episode. Didn't she cheat on Dylan with John Sears? And that whole drunken baby-voice thing was so hard to listen to. I miss fun Kelly. 

[WoodyCee]

Having not rewatched the episode, who called Steve to tell him about Celeste's engagement?  Did she call him herself, that would be bizarre! 

When Tara said something about Kelly not having a substance abuse problem, I literally replied, out loud in an empty room, "Nooot yeeeeet!" and then I rubbed my hands with glee at the Cokehead!Kelly ahead.

I totally did the same thing! Cokehead Kelly is my favorite Kelly!

[SoupThrower]

I mean how would anyone care about Clare and David breaking up if we never got to see much of it. 

I feel like all these episodes lead to the amazing episode where we get 'Squash It".

Also Kelly cheated on Dylan with John Sears and cheated on Dylan with Brandon and then later cheats on Brandon with Dylan. She needs more coke.

Also Donna's hair....Geez.

[MerBearStare]

Unpopular opinion: I really like this episode. But I also like the 60's episode, so...

As much as I like Claire and can't stand David (Daaaaavid!), I hate the way she repeatedly called him stupid. You're the one dating him, so what does that make you? She would do the same thing with Steve, too, but it seemed way worse because Steve is such a cuddlemonster compared to David. And I agree with Sarah and Tara that it's ridiculous, and I would say unrealistic, that Steve is still hung up on Kelly. They dated for what, one semester freshmen year of high school?

Speaking of Steve, Ian Ziering was clearly living his best life during this time. He didn't have delusions of grandeur like other cast members and he always seemed to be having a blast.

Edited January 3, 2017 by MerBearStare

[lovinbob]

Donna's and Felice's style inspirations:

 

[Nancybeth]

This ep is, weirdly, one of my favorites.  I can't even say why.  Maybe just because it's so bad it's good, or because they actually seemed to be having fun for once and the storyline is pretty light compared to the previous few with the cult and the rapist.  I was obsessed with Real World at the time so that had something to do with it too.  It seems INCREDIBLY dated now but still funny, sort of.

But here's what I never understood -- wouldn't David and Claire's professor recognize them "playing" other characters.  And, oh, maybe Brandon, the student body president?

[CurlyATX]

This is one of the episodes I always block out of my mind.  So much to dislike:

1.  why would Felice push anything between Donna and David?  She knew David cheated right?  She's so snobby that I imagine she has her eyes on some kind of Thurston Howell IV for her snowflake. 

2. Ugh, the gang's interdating... so.gross!  But later on, Clare acts like she never knew Steve and Kelly got together (it's that beach club episode, where it's been retconned that Steve/Kelly just hooked up once vs dated). 

3.  Why can't anyone just drink normally? I hate how Brandon is so condescending to Kelly... sheesh, she just had some watermelon in her own freaking house. She didn't drive drunk like SOMEONE we know.

4. Kelly's baby voice! I almost drove off the road hearing it.  Seriously, that needs a warning before you do it again.  They've only been dating for a few months, why is she talking marriage?

5.  Val- why? she's so much better than that.  Amanda wouldn't beg anyone.  I wish Kelly would have introduced Val to the Melrose Gang (ooh... Val and Sydney= so much crazy)

Did anyone else hope that David would bring up the Summer of Deception when Kelly went on the "all men cheat" rant?

Edited January 3, 2017 by CurlyATX
spelling counts

[CurlyATX]

I cannot WAIT for cokehead Kelly... I wonder if it'll be around Sarah B's/my birthday (March 22 in the HOUSE).   I'm totally wanting to make the vodka watermelon- that sounds fantastic. 

Clare is awful but that comes from her intuition that David is still into Donna.  Plus, I agree about the group project stuff.  I hated that crap in school and cringe when I hear folks brag about it in their online MBA classes.  I was always carrying the team because I was both a grade grubber AND a people pleaser.  So that meant that I'd do the work that the lazy folks didn't do.

Puck... so gross.  I'm from SF and hated that year of TRW.  Though I did like how that one couple dated (the Asian doctor and the nice guy).   Maybe Munts (sp?) told Steve about the engagement.

[Lady Iris]

The hair! THE HAIR!!! I don't remember it being so terrifically bad during the 90's. It was just them right? Right???

[TeeVee329]

4 hours ago, WoodyCee said:

Cokehead Kelly is my favorite Kelly!

She's a great Kelly!  Her snorting that first line using her deadbeat dad's check is one of my favorite soap moments ever.

Her drunken rant about cheaters, however?  Hey Kel, you thought cheaters were pretty hot when Dylan was cheating on Brenda with you.

[Nanna]

I'm sorry to admit this, but I love this episode. Priestly is funny for once and Ziering is great, he has funny bones but the show rarely let's him show it (crying Steve is the worst of course, a crime against humanity). 

When the show first aired I don't think I had watched a reality show yet (ask your parents) so it must have seemed weird to me then. 

How do they get so drunk on one watermelon? 

[mskyle]

I almost couldn't get through the podcast, this episode made me cringe so hard. Amazing. This was on television.

[maxineofarc]

Ugh ugh ugh ugh PEAK BABY VOICE.

[Panda Bear]

I've always liked this one because it has the cast actually spending time together and acting like college students. Well, except for Andrea, who seems to be in a very special thirtysomething episode. 

[Klaw]

I'm with Nanna, MissEwa & Nancybeth - I LOVE this episode! I think the moment Priestly sees Tuck and bursts out laughing is one of his best - series wide - and it always makes me chuckle. That scene and I guess the scene(s) where he's incredulous over Dottie having the hots for Jimbo and the Halloween episode ("Drift, small guy"/"Get lost, Ape").  Brandon as played by Jason Priestly is so fucking annoying and obnoxious most of the time that it's nice to actually enjoy Brandon. And ITA that I enjoyed the fact that this is something college kids would've done and they probably all would have gotten shit-faced while doing it - not just Kelly. But the staying up late confessing secrets to your group of buddies rings true. 

Although I agree that Stupid Kelly and her baby voice ruins what would have otherwise been a funny scene ... I loved Steve's "I never cheated on you, Kelly" and she's all "Oh, but you did cheat on Celeste!" Zing! Too bad it was coming from the biggest hypocrite ever. KELLY.

Lovinbob - You win the Internet for the day. That shit is hilarious!!! "BECAUSE I AM NOT. ONEOFYOUR. FAAAAAANS!!!!!!"

re: Jesse und Oooohndrea: Was it just me, or did his confession seem weak af? I mean, his delivery was way too matter of fact. It was like he was just admitting to his wife that he found a colleague cute, not that he fucked some random on a business trip. I don't know, that line reading just was way, way, way off. I know we aren't dealing with Oscar-worthy actors, but come the fuck on, Jesse.

[CurlyATX]

30 minutes ago, Klaw said:

re: Jesse und Oooohndrea: Was it just me, or did his confession seem weak af? I mean, his delivery was way too matter of fact. It was like he was just admitting to his wife that he found a colleague cute, not that he fucked some random on a business trip. I don't know, that line reading just was way, way, way off. I know we aren't dealing with Oscar-worthy actors, but come the fuck on, Jesse.

In my mind I remember this confession being much more heartfelt too.  The fact that he immediately admits it is crazy.  Also, I may be a crackpot, but I feel that whenever people "confess" it is more for them than for the other people.  Like when Dylan and Kelly told the truth to Brenda- that was for them not for her benefit.

Also, adding to my crackpot-ness, I think Ohndrea's long-term affair (and willingness to divorce Jesse) is way worse than Jesse's drunken fling with a law clerk.

[ZeroDiscipline]

On 1/2/2017 at 8:48 PM, Dave in Chicago said:

Also - how many tv shows have done fake "Real World" episodes?  There's this, "Boy Meets World", "Happy Endings"... and wikipedia just informed me that Shannen Doherty got in on the trend while hosting SNL.  No video, but transcript here: http://snltranscripts.jt.org/93/93breal.phtml

The only Real World parody you need is "The Mad Real World" from Dave Chapelle's show on Comedy Central. It's hard to link to, look it up on Comedy Central's site.

[SoupThrower]

I agree on the Priestley thing. This is the period when we get funny Brandon or at least not as annoying jerk like Brandon. Especially when he gets drunk and is banter with Ziering in Palm Springs. It's like after Kelly ditches him, he has a new lease on life. Plus it is funny to see what happens when he loses the election.

[TeeVee329]

On ‎1‎/‎3‎/‎2017 at 0:53 PM, CurlyATX said:

1.  why would Felice push anything between Donna and David?  She knew David cheated right?  She's so snobby that I imagine she has her eyes on some kind of Thurston Howell IV for her snowflake. 

Well, I could see Felice preferring David (from Beverly Hills, oral surgeon father, etc.) versus trailer trash Ray.

Felice's opinion of David seems to change based on the whims of the plot.  I definitely remember a point where she hates David again and is pushing Donna towards...someone.  The QB?  That firefighter guy?  I can't remember.

Edited January 5, 2017 by TeeVee329

[Petunia13]

I think she tried to break Donna up w Noah too. She was awfully invested in her love life and and sexuality. In reality Donna is no catch at all; basically because of her stupidity , lack of people & street smarts, zero common sense, ghastly hair, bolt on cavern breasts ect her parents were wealthy but weren't like famous or billionaires so it wasn't like she was this sought after ingenue who'd bring social and financial cache. 

[Maherjunkie]

But her heart Petunia, her heart....

[CurlyATX]

13 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

I think she tried to break Donna up w Noah too. She was awfully invested in her love life and and sexuality. In reality Donna is no catch at all; basically because of her stupidity , lack of people & street smarts, zero common sense, ghastly hair, bolt on cavern breasts ect her parents were wealthy but weren't like famous or billionaires so it wasn't like she was this sought after ingenue who'd bring social and financial cache. 

Again, this is based on the assumption that the writers paid any attention to anything.  But Felice is a very interesting subject.  We find out that she was basically poor, got knocked up by Dr. Martin in college and now is totally nouveau riche and puts on lots of airs (like that crappy fish jello).  Perhaps Felice's freakout over Donna's sexuality has to do with the fact that she got preggo.  Luckily, she was with a guy who obviously did well.  But maybe she looks at her sister who (spoiler) also got knocked up by Dr. Martin a few years later (I think they mention getting Donna's hand me downs).

[Earmuffs Mom]

On ‎1‎/‎3‎/‎2017 at 0:34 PM, TeeVee329 said:

Her drunken rant about cheaters, however?  Hey Kel, you thought cheaters were pretty hot when Dylan was cheating on Brenda with you.

Kelly's hypocrisy was never higher than this moment.  Beyond the moment next season at the convent when she's thinking about how she cheated with her BFF's boyfriend, then on her boyfriend with his best friend, Kelly never seemed bothered by her behavior.

[Jax7917]

1 hour ago, Earmuffs Mom said:

Kelly's hypocrisy was never higher than this moment.  Beyond the moment next season at the convent when she's thinking about how she cheated with her BFF's boyfriend, then on her boyfriend with his best friend, Kelly never seemed bothered by her behavior.

Kelly beyond annoys me with her hypocrisy. Apparently no one else can cheat besides her. And then when kelly and dylan admit their summer of deception to brenda , both dylan and kelly are in awe that brenda is upset about it as if it's normal to cheat on and date your girlfriend of 2 years best friend.

and THEN when valerie comes to town, she is somehow labeled the town slut, even by kelly. Pot meet kettle. Kel should have been the title holder of that one.

[MissEwa]

I think it had zero to do with the character and Felice was just the Aaron Spelling stand-in. They may have tried to shoehorn some justification in there at various times but none of it very convincing. 

[Klaw]

Quote

In reality Donna is no catch at all; 

Sing it, sister. There is no way in HELL that someone who looked and acted like Donna (and was a virgin to boot - which meant she wouldn't put out) would have so many boyfriends. In LA. I hate to be superficial and crude, but I lived in LA in the 90s and talk about lookism. It was fucking brutal. Even legit beauties were being overlooked because there was always someone prettier coming through the door. Let's face it, Donna the character got the "beautiful, popular girl with the heart of gold and golden (yet virginal) vajayjay" edit because she was played by the Aaron Spelling's daughter.

[queenbee9b]

Fun timing I saw Joey Slotnick in the Front Page on Broadway last week. He doesn't list 90210 fake puck in his who's who in the playbill

Edited January 8, 2017 by queenbee9b

[SoupThrower]

On 1/6/2017 at 11:25 AM, Petunia13 said:

I think she tried to break Donna up w Noah too. She was awfully invested in her love life and and sexuality. In reality Donna is no catch at all; basically because of her stupidity , lack of people & street smarts, zero common sense, ghastly hair, bolt on cavern breasts ect her parents were wealthy but weren't like famous or billionaires so it wasn't like she was this sought after ingenue who'd bring social and financial cache. 

I guess she didn't trust Donna. I mean who could blame her. Donna tried to rescue a deer in the middle of the road. 

Felice liked David when he wasn't dating Donna, at least I recall. 

[FozzyBear]

What exactly was this assignment anyway? If it was to film some sort of documentary/reality show I kind of get that for a communications class (kind of), but character sketches? What? It sounds more like some sort of improv exercise, which is theatre not communications. At least some of the writers went to college, right? Why can't they college? I hate bad tv tropes about college and this show has so many. On that note, PRE-MED IS NOT A MAJOR! Biology, chemistry, physchology, these are all majors that someone on the pre-med track might choose. Pre-med refers to a category of classes that the majority of med schools will require applicants to take, it is not a major! Neither is pre-law. You're don't major in "pre". 

[CurlyATX]

Quote

15 minutes ago, FozzyBear said:

On that note, PRE-MED IS NOT A MAJOR! Biology, chemistry, physchology, these are all majors that someone on the pre-med track might choose. Pre-med refers to a category of classes that the majority of med schools will require applicants to take, it is not a major! Neither is pre-law. You're don't major in "pre". 

 

Yes! It always bugs me when they did that.  Since I went to a UC, I know that they didn't have a pre-med major.  Most of my friends were "bioscience".

[FozzyBear]

1 hour ago, CurlyATX said:

Yes! It always bugs me when they did that.  Since I went to a UC, I know that they didn't have a pre-med major.  Most of my friends were "bioscience".

They most certainly do not exist anywhere within the CA public university system. The closest I know of are some of the UCs have "law" as an undergrad major, but it's "law" not "pre-law".  What would a pre-med diploma even look like? "California University awards a Bachelor of Science in The stuff you do before medical school to Aaaaaaandreaaaaa"? If there are schools with honest-to-god "pre" majors they are the exception, not the rule. The whole concept is nuts because you're basically majoring in "getting into grad school" which is not a thing. It'd be like majoring in "pre teaching credential". You don't do that. You just major in education or something. Sorry! I know it's nit-picky, but it drives me nuts the way TV writers can't write college. Didn't most of them go?!?!? There are more the 4 things to major in, but none of them are pre-anything!  

Ok, rant over.

Shut up Kelly. Shut up forever. You slept with your best friends boyfriend and then left your boyfriend for his best friend. You have no right to side eye anyone.

[Maherjunkie]

I'm jumping ahead here but is this why Felice doesn't root for Donna in the Rose parade?

[Ions Earring]

"why Felice doesn't root for Donna.."- because she's awful/kinda great. Always the answer