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Joy and Austin: This One Time At Family Camp

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9 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Just picture a still photo of Joy and a schlump on a couch. The schlump appears to have some mild but very vague enthusiasm for Joy, but nothing he'd bother to write home about (if he ever left home). Joy has a look on her face that flyingdi described well above: "Joy kind of looks like she's thinking, 'When do we eat around here?'"

That's about all there is to it. But it's massively sad when you think that this is actually intended to be the most exciting and joyful thing that ever happens to Joy in her entire life. This is her pinnacle. Yikes. 

Churchie, there's an actual video. I posted it upthread a couple of days ago. 

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14 minutes ago, Albanyguy said:

Austin: "I don't want to marry you any more than you want to marry me, but it'll be a lot easier on us if we just go along with it. Otherwise, we get shipped off to Alert and Journey to the Heart."

Except that in the vast majority of these fundie marriages - that isn't true. The guy wants to marry. He wants to start banging. He wants a family of his own. He wants out of his mommy's house. So then the guys who aren't the "fall in love and pursue a girl" types just look for whoever is convenient to those goals (i.e. Austin; Brandon Keilen etc.) They find a girl they've known forever (Joy) or one they met somewhere and heard was drooling over them for 3 yrs (i.e. Michaela Bates) and find a situation where her daddy wants to marry her off, thinks he's good enough and boom it's a done deal.

The guys make out well in this deal. They move out of their momma's house and yet never have to wash a single pair of underwear or cook a meal bc it is their bride's job to make sure the laundry is done and their favorite tator tot casserole is hot and ready when they arrive home from either real work or some made up job they consider "work" (either is fine for the headship - they can work for real or not); and if the guy doesn't like TTC and is a omlette and veggies kind of guy, well it's his wife's job to figure out what a beet is and how it's cooked. They get to have a family without giving birth (true of all marriages of course) but for fundies, they aren't even responsible for providing health insurance to make sure their wife gets some medical care and pain relief; they can simply insist that God put it in their heart that their kid will be born in the master bathroom. They don't need to lift a finger with said child but get to brag that they now have an Austin Jr. - followed by 10 other kids. If one day he decides he is down with camp ownership and wants to move to DC or Africa or wherever -- well God laid it in his heart and the wife has no choice but to follow her headship . . . . So I feel like the guys get the best of all worlds bc they get to pursue exactly the life they want, while the girls go into these passionless arranged marriages hoping their life goals match and their headship isn't nuts bc they know if life goals differ or if he's simply mentally ill - well he has the d!ck in the relationship, so whatever he wants is what'll happen . . . .

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I feel like in these fundie marriages -- it is so much "safer" from the woman's perspective if the guy is head over heels or desperate to marry her. Bc that is her only chance of having any semblance of the life she wants -- bc he'll love her/feel lucky enough to have her that he'll want her to be happy, will allow life to be how she wants it to be. I think the only Duggar girl that got that so far is Jessa - Bin was desperate to marry her and look -- living in a JB owned house, cleaning his toilets bc there was no way Jessa was going to move to Hot Springs and disrupt her life.  On the Bates side - Chad and Erin are totally like that. He was obsessed with her and considered himself the luckiest man in the world that Erin would even consider him -- so look -- living in Erin's hometown bc she wanted to finish college, still not moving away even though college was over like 2-3 yrs ago bc likely Erin doesn't want to leave her family and be near the inlaws, pursuing fertility treatments etc. when I believe Chad as headship would have left it to God's will, I believe Erin's broken heartedness re miscarriages led them to pursue what she wanted -- i.e. medical care . . . .

Derick and Jer both seem controlling to me -- I mean Derick has Jill living a life she hates just bc he wants to play missionary. And Jer- don't know yet but he just has that affect . . . .

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1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

Churchie, there's an actual video. I posted it upthread a couple of days ago. 

Oh, I know you did -- and thanks! I was trying and failing to say that they were so bored and boring that we gained nothing by seeing them in video form! ha -- no wonder that wasn't clear! 

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4 hours ago, cereality said:

Derick and Jer both seem controlling to me -- I mean Derick has Jill living a life she hates just bc he wants to play missionary. And Jer- don't know yet but he just has that affect . . . .

I wonder which couple will end up as one of those creepy Lifetime movies and Austin may be giving me those vibes too.

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If Joy and Austin were regular Baptists and not a part of the Gothard cult, they still wouldn't be holding hands or kissing.  I just don't see any attraction there.  He's looks just like one more Duggar boy.

And wasn't it convenient (and well planned by Kim Jung Boob) to provide hints to the next big thing (Joy and Austin) just as Jinger's wedding is concluded.  I suppose Jinger has been informed when her pregnancy has been penciled in on the filming calendar.

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Keep in mind that sometimes when a guy (or girl) gushes on and on about how lucky they are, act totally obsessed and enamored, etc., it can be masking another form of control.

What may look like a dream couple can actually be a really scary, controlling obsession, and more about bragging about ownership of an objectified person vs actually loving a human with a personality, etc.

Not saying that Chad and Erin are faking it or lying, but whenever it seems like couples are going out of their way to gush and fawn over each other, it is overcompensation for something else. 

Based on the rest of the Paines, I raise a brow to how 'perfect' Chad is. I hope I'm wrong. 

Also I don't think Derrick is controlling as much as Jill is enabling. Derrick is a Wuss. Jill is running that show, but neither of them are doing much of anything besides playing house and gritting. 

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2 hours ago, riverblue22 said:

If Joy and Austin were regular Baptists and not a part of the Gothard cult, they still wouldn't be holding hands or kissing.  I just don't see any attraction there.  He's looks just like one more Duggar boy.

And wasn't it convenient (and well planned by Kim Jung Boob) to provide hints to the next big thing (Joy and Austin) just as Jinger's wedding is concluded.  I suppose Jinger has been informed when her pregnancy has been penciled in on the filming calendar.

Regular Baptists couldn't even hold hands?

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1 minute ago, DangerousMinds said:

Regular Baptists couldn't even hold hands?

I think the poster was saying Joy and her fella wouldn't be affectionate no matter what their religion, even if they had no courting rules. They just don't seem to want to be affectionate.

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5 minutes ago, RazzleberryPie said:

I think the poster was saying Joy and her fella wouldn't be affectionate no matter what their religion, even if they had no courting rules. They just don't seem to want to be affectionate.

I agree. I'm related to a lot of "regular Baptists" so I know they certainly can hold hands, lol. But even so, I had to think a second before I understood what the poster meant.

Joy and Austin are certainly not in the "hot for each other" realm of the engaged Jinge and Babe. I kind of remember that even Jill and Derick, those holy missionaries, showed more affection and attraction for each other during their courtship/engagement than we see from J&A. 

Edited by Jeeves
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I hate that Joy has to live with lifestyle. She's my favorite. She had spunk. Then it got beaten out of her. Now she's just going to get married and conceive the first time she loses her v card. Sad. She can do so much more. 

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3 hours ago, RazzleberryPie said:

Based on the rest of the Paines, I raise a brow to how 'perfect' Chad is. I hope I'm wrong. 

You and me both. After all, this is a family who's willingly marrying their daughter off to a rapist. 

 

4 hours ago, riverblue22 said:

If Joy and Austin were regular Baptists and not a part of the Gothard cult, they still wouldn't be holding hands or kissing.  I just don't see any attraction there.  He's looks just like one more Duggar boy.

 

I agree. They could be atheists and it wouldn't matter. There's zero attraction on either side. Their body language is that of a brother and sister, not a couple who's presumably going to be married in a few months. She might as well be sitting on the couch next to Si or the twins.

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After five full years of lurking, I've created an account because I need to connect with others who might also find Joy's use of the words "and such" bitterly annoying. She LIKES being a subliterate hill-jack. There's a subtle edge of sadism in Joy. Or masochism. And such.

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On 2/22/2017 at 11:41 AM, Darknight said:

She can do so much more. 

Something tells me this is what her parents have tried very hard to prevent. .... And not just with Joy. 

So far they're batting a thousand, too. 

This is why the only thing I've ever wanted since I first found out that the horrifying family I saw in that red-dress picture was going to be on tv is for them to be off tv. I'd bet money that they've encouraged sickeningly awful, and downright evil, parenting in at least a few families because having them as a "cute" and "holy" family on tv normalizes their shit. 

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Joy confuses me because I've known so many of her through the years. I read Joy as a specific sort of woman historically and currently. A woman of few words, this Joy likes to get outdoors with her golden retrievers. She plays all manner of team sports on fields and in ice rinks. Joy wears Tevas and has seven piercings in her left ear. At the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival, Joy is known for her willingness to help everyone set up their tents and her skill with all the little pegs and hooks and shit. The license plate on Joy's Subaru reads "DOGMOM1." Joy makes great money at her job with the electric company, but she still prefers cheap Michelob beer and she will share her twelve-pack with you, baby.

IMG_4020.JPG

Edited by Petrichor · Reason: Misspelling
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"Austin what do you like about Joy?"

*awkward pause* "Uh, she has a heart for the Lord...she's good at delegating...uh, her beauty (said in an unconvincing tone)."

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3 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

"Austin what do you like about Joy?"

*awkward pause* "Uh, she has a heart for the Lord...she's good at delegating...uh, her beauty (said in an unconvincing tone)."

If  I stop banging my head against the wall, will I stop wanting, something, anything on this show NOT to suck?

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30 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

"Austin what do you like about Joy?"

*awkward pause* "Uh, she has a heart for the Lord...she's good at delegating...uh, her beauty (said in an unconvincing tone)."

It's either Joy, or he has to develop some swagger.

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13 hours ago, Kokapetl said:

http://www.duggarfamilyblog.com/2017/02/austins-chat-with-jim-bob.html?m=1

 

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Jimbob looks less than thrilled that Austin asked him for "permission to courtship". Jaustin hits his head on the ceiling when he stands up  

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Austin shouldn't feel too bad he got the less than thrilled look from JB.  JB has had that same look for all of the girl's suitors when they ask to court/marry.  I call it his  "I think I'm going to be sick"  look.  I think he just does it to intimidate the guys cuz he knows how nervous they are.  

I guess Austin must have passed the questionnaire.

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3 hours ago, Barb23 said:

Austin shouldn't feel too bad he got the less than thrilled look from JB.  JB has had that same look for all of the girl's suitors when they ask to court/marry.  I call it his  "I think I'm going to be sick"  look.  I think he just does it to intimidate the guys cuz he knows how nervous they are.  

I guess Austin must have passed the questionnaire.

The "sick look" from Boob is because he has to shell out money for a wedding.

I think he found another son in Austin. He doesn't have to go through any  intense training' he's already a Duggar.

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I think that look on Jim Bob is because he now has to admit his daughter will be an adult, with a different headship... and will soon be having sex.  He won't get to control every aspect of their life.  Now, so far, he's still gotten to control a lot (Derick, Ben, Josh and Anna)  He probably tried to control Josiah's Marjorie, but it had the opposite effect.   Jeremy isn't going to be controllable.  Hopefully Jeremy has seen enough that he will prevent any moves back to Tonitown for him and Jinger.   

 

Last night was the first time I have watched in a while.  Haven't decided about Austin, but he may not be controllable either.   Austin is older than Josh (and seems more mature) was when Josh courted Anna, plus they live in the same neighborhood.  They speak the same language.... and may be so comfortable with each other that they may actually discuss real beliefs rather than Mommy and Daddy approved beliefs. One thing the last couple courtships (not Josh's nor Jills') is that Jessa/Ben and Jeremy/Jessa were allowed actual private phone conversations.  If Austin flips homes, they may not be dependent on either set of parents for income.  

Edited by mythoughtis
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I would never underestimate Jim Bob's skills and power as a master narcissistic manipulator, especially when it comes to ruling his family. Kids or adults, in-laws included. Especially any man who will bend over so far as to fill out a fiftyfuckingpage questionnaire in order to "court" a Duggar daughter. And, they all did that, didn't they?

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13 hours ago, Jeeves said:

I would never underestimate Jim Bob's skills and power as a master narcissistic manipulator, especially when it comes to ruling his family. Kids or adults, in-laws included. Especially any man who will bend over so far as to fill out a fiftyfuckingpage questionnaire in order to "court" a Duggar daughter. And, they all did that, didn't they?

Reminds me of the show Major Dad. The three daughters made a list of questions to ask the Major after he ask their mom to marry them after only knowing her a few days. After answering all the questions, the girls said they did not care for him, but he finally got their approval to marry their mom. Of course JB has to control everything. I do remember hearing him say in one episode he controls his children until they get married. I am surprise he did not get hit by lightning for that little fib.

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JB seemed kind of bored about the whole thing. He was in his counting house counting all his money and the next door farmer asked for a brood mare.

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1 hour ago, sometimesy said:

JB seemed kind of bored about the whole thing. He was in his counting house counting all his money and the next door farmer asked for a brood mare.

That facial expression is his constipated frog face of disapproval.

Frog_Overlord.jpg

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12 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

That facial expression is his constipated frog face of disapproval.

Frog_Overlord.jpg

I'd rather tongue kiss that frog than get anywhere near JB. 

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Any signs of Joyless having a Pinterest page or a website for the wedding? If they are getting married next month I would think a shower is in the works and a wedding dress has been purchased. 

Oh, Joyless stay away from Sierra to do the planning and organizing for your wedding. You want classy not a tacky hot mess like Jill had.

Edited by Fuzzysox
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I honestly don't think Joyless would care about the wedding.  I'm pretty sure she doesn't care all that much about the marriage.  And these things are so staged.  Do they think we believe that the cameras roll and these proposals happen spontaneously with no rehearsals, takes, etc, til they get it right?  Oy.

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Austin gives me the heebie-jeebies the most out of all the Duggar daughters' husbands. There's something hard and heartless about him. 

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53 minutes ago, Petrichor said:

Austin gives me the heebie-jeebies the most out of all the Duggar daughters' husbands. There's something hard and heartless about him. 

It's interesting because when JD mentioned Austin's attraction for Joy "hitting him like a ton of bricks," I thought really? Because to me he looked like he was negotiating the price of a plow horse when he asked Boob for permission to court. 

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It's like he heard that phrase, "hit me like a ton of bricks" in re: falling in love, and thought, "Yeah, that's the ticket...That's what I'll say." If, indeed, Austin ever said it at all. 

Poor Joy will never know the difference between falling in love and being sold.

Edited by Petrichor · Reason: I have no idea what I'm doing
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Putting aside the wrongness of selling off a daughter, and putting aside Jinger and Jeremy:

If I'm Joy and I've grown up seeing my dad work and even participating in it (real estate, not tv), and then I look at my two aimless BILs who are living off of my family's wealth, and my two sisters who were hot and heavy for their men and who are now struggling to find their way, Austin doesn't look so bad. There are a lot of knowns with Austin. I know where I will be living - nearby not states away. I know what his job will be. I know he'll have a job. Possibly he'll be working long days, so I'll have a lot of time to myself. I suspect I won't have to be joyfully available allllll that often. 

It could be the best of a bad situation. 

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16 minutes ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

 

It could be the best of a bad situation. 

I agree, provided Austin isn't abusive or militant in the way he treats his wife. If he's 22 and has already flipped four houses, that's not too shabby. He has a heavy equipment operator's license and his family owns a viable business. If Joy is the kind of girl who doesn't care about passion and romance, this sort of arrangement may not be too bad. What bothers me about the whole thing is how she's such a passive participant. If she were cagey and scheming like Jessa, I'd feel better because at least it would show she's got some hand in the decision making. 

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Maybe she's like Charlotte in Pride and Prejudice: "I am not romantic. I never was. I ask only a comfortable home."*

*without a dozen screaming howlers in it.

Edited by Petrichor · Reason: Spelling
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I picture Joy getting married in cowgirl boots or bare feet. I think her wedding will likely reflect who has the most influence on her. Lets hope Jill's distance makes that hard.

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49 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I picture Joy getting married in cowgirl boots or bare feet. I think her wedding will likely reflect who has the most influence on her. Lets hope Jill's distance makes that hard.

They've said many times how much Joy dislikes wearing shoes.  I'd expect her to be barefoot or maybe in cowboy boots. It will probably be the only thing she'll get to control.

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If Joy has wide feet, and she has never been properly measured, like all the Duggars, I'm sure, then maybe Joy hates shoes because they hurt.

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I'm just not feeling interested in these two at all. We know already the way the season of Joy will go. Flashbacks, repeat rules, flashbacks, drawn out nonsense.  And the next week, more of the same.....

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1 hour ago, louannems said:

If Joy has wide feet, and she has never been properly measured, like all the Duggars, I'm sure, then maybe Joy hates shoes because they hurt.

Having to buy used shoes full of someone else's sweat and shaped to someone else's feet  are probably some reasons some of the kids favor flip flops or bare feet.

 My mom gave me a pair of her shoes, and though she's very clean and neat and bathes every day, the only word I could use to describe the experience is "swampy"... even after leaving them out in the Texas sun. Never could get that sensation to go away, so I had to throw them out.

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I just realized Austin is kinda cute for a fundie boy.

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15 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I'm just not feeling interested in these two at all. We know already the way the season of Joy will go. Flashbacks, repeat rules, flashbacks, drawn out nonsense.  And the next week, more of the same.....

I completely agree I won't watch.  I find this getting so boring and repetitive.

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his response to what he liked about Joy sounded like he was interviewing for a job position.

Edited by heatherrrrz

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7 minutes ago, heatherrrrz said:

his response to what he liked about Joy sounded like he was interviewing for a job position.

He is auditioning for headship of Joy, season 4, counting on.

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