Quotes: Get Ready for a Large File Transfer!

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Mac: You want a beer?
Coulson: It's six o'clock in the morning. What are you? Hemingway?

May: It was odd.
Coulson: Odd? Isn't that our wheelhouse?

Coulson: Heard you got a promotion.
Simmons: Special assistant to the director of science in technology.
Fitz: Or SADIST.

Fitz: Random state of the art lie detector tests.
Simmons: Calls it his widespread infiltration monitoring program.
Fitz: Or WIMP.

May: I don't get the new color-coded security level, rainbow of, what's it called?
Simmons: The spectrum of security.
May: Why do I, level red, have to go through you, level orange, to request hardware? Shouldn't red be higher than orange?
Simmons: Well, orange encompasses both red and yellow. It's hard to explain, but the director didn't want to use numbers because he didn't want any team member to feel less than.
May: You do have a higher clearance than me.
Simmons: Only in most instances.
May: I feel less than.

Mac: Not fair!
Coulson: You want tech like this, you should have cut off your own hand.

[Coulson takes victim's driver's license out of his wallet]
Coulson: Zhong Wei, resident of Monterey Park. Organ donor.
Mac: Does it say anything about him being a flesh hungry rage monstser?
Coulson: Uh, no, I'm not seeing anything about that here.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Fitz: It's stuck!
Mac: I really wish our roles were reversed right now.

[teenj12]

Daisy: You don't get to decide who lives or dies.

Robbie: I'm not the one who decides.

[4x01]

[Raja]

Back in the suit flashing his badge . "I'm Phil Coulson from the Supreme Headquarters, International Enforcement Logistitics Division"

Uncle Elias what SHIELD?

Edited October 22, 2016 by Raja

[Lugal]

Mac: Did two fireusers just fall into a fireworks store?

Coulson: C'mon, you had to see that coming.

[Raja]

Director Mace: "he left without a helmet no less"

[Sandman]

Daisy: [Eli]'s got an axe to grind.

Mack: My axe is plenty sharp ... and a shotgun.

[blueray]

Daisy: "Coulson came back from the dead, Fitz rescued Simmons through a rock and Robbie's head catches on fire"

[Raja]

"Time for the world to see the new Director of Shield in action". Complete with a Captain America inspired uniform fulfilling the comic book prophecy of Jeffery Mace being one to take up the Captain's mantle when Steve Rogers went out into the cold.

[ohjoy]

Coulson to Eli Morrow: "You're drunk with power -- or you drank your own Kool-Aid -- or you're drunk on Power Aid. I don't know."

[Sandman]

Elena: "Someone needs to make Radcliffe watch all the Terminator movies."

Mack: "Even Salvation?"

Elena: "He brought this onto himself!"

[DeLurker]

Elena:  Smart people are stupid.

Edited January 11, 2017 by DeLurker
And supposedly smart posters are bad spellers.

[Sandman]

"They call you 'Quack'" might be my favourite line this season.

[Sandman]

Apparently I have new favourites:

Simmons: You get this. I'm going after Aida.

Fitz: You're going after a homicidal android yourself?

Simmons: I'm taking Davis.

Fitz: Concern only slightly lessened.

Agent Davis: Thanks!

Edited February 16, 2017 by Sandman

[Sandman]

Radcliffe: "Aida! You shouldn't have done that ... I could've lost my grip on reality!"

And when did the good doctor acquire a grip on reality?

[Raja]

Leopold: "We will make society great again" ..Hail Hydra!

[Cigale]

Radcliffe to Aida: "That's not what I meant you sadistic bitch!"

Aida: "Guards!"

Radcliffe: "Aaaargh!"

Sorry, it made me laugh...

Edited April 19, 2017 by sisterspoon
Forgot something

[Minneapple]

Coulson, on Ward: I gotta ask, what is it about that guy? Every time I see him, I get this weird itch. Like Hives! Did we get along?
SImmons: Well, you crushed his chest with your cybernetic arm and left him for dead on an alien planet. So...no. (Pause) He's behind me, isn't he?

The Doctor: Beaten to within an inch of her life. Nevertheless, she persisted. 

[Jediknight]

Coulson: "Are you insane?  He's trying to save a kid."
May: "So was I."
Ward: "Agent May, he's the only thing keeping this building from falling down on all of us.  You shoot him we all die."
Coulson: "We don't have time for this, we've gotta save that kid.  Form a chain, find something to prop up that beam.  Either shoot us or help, but don't just stand there.  Snap out of it May!"

May: "Is it true, that you're an Inhuman?"
Daisy: "Yeah, powerful enough to bring this whole damn place down."
May: "I hope so."

[DeepPoet117]

Radcliffe: "EVERYTHING HERE TASTES LIKE TOFU!"

[Jediknight]

Coulson: "My name is Phil Coulson, and I'm an agent of SHIELD."

[teenj12]

Fitz [in regards to Daisy]: Beaten to within an inch of her life. Nevertheless, she persisted. 

 

<333 

[Raja]

General Talbot, "I smell a load of L. Ron horse crap"

[bettername2come]

Jemma: I'm a biologist, but, sure, I can invent time travel, just give me a minute.

[Raja]

With the proper sneering tone, "compassion"

[3girlsforus]

Release the ferrets!!!!

[blueray]

1 hour ago, 3girlsforus said:

Release the ferrets!!!!

Was just going to post this ;)

[bettername2come]

Lance: We're a hundred percent compatible. Fifty percent of the time. Nearly got married again...until the ninjas showed up.

 

Lance: There's only so much crazy talk I can take before I start shooting holes in in.

Edited December 23, 2017 by bettername2come

[SnoGirl]

Lance, “I love you.”

Fitz, “I know.”

[Jediknight]

Rewatching "Self Control", and I've got to add some exchanges.

 

Simmons: "We can't fight them, Daisy.  It's too much.  It's all too much."
Daisy: "Hey, hey.  Don't worry about fighting them, okay?  I will.  I will take them on myself."
Simmons: "No, Daisy, don't do this.  You don't have your gauntlets to protect your arms."
Daisy: "It doesn't matter."
Simmons: "Look, I know you still feel like you have to atone for Lincoln's sacrifice, but sacrificing yourself is not the answer."
Daisy: "That is not what this is about."
Simmons: "I can't lose you, too!"
Daisy: "Look at me.  Look at me.  This is not a sacrifice play.  You know why?  Because I will beat them.  You hear me?  I know it.  If for no other reason than this - through all the insane crap we have gone through, the one I've known without a doubt, the whole time, is you and Fitz belong together.  This is not how your story ends.  Okay?  So I'm gonna beat the screws out of those junkers, and the two of us are gonna get the hell out of Dodge.  Deal?"
Simmons: "Deal."

 

LMDCoulson: "May?  What did you do?"
LMDMay: "What I wanted to."
LMDCoulson: "Okay.  Everything's under control.  Let's just..."
LMDMay: "Whose control?"
LMDCoulson: "Why don't you and I have a glass of Scotch, or many, and talk this out like we always do?"
LMDMay: "We?  We've never done that before.  You were right.  Our programming is different.  Are you afraid to die?  'Cause I am.  I know I'm not real.  I'm all phantom limbs.  But that doesn't make the pain less real."
LMDCoulson: "You don't have to feel pain."
LMDMay: "You say you don't anymore.  But that pain, that regret, that's what made you a person, a person I love.  My programming was to get the Darkhold.  That came from Radcliffe.    But my impulse to keep Coulson safe and close, that desire, that came from me."
LMDCoulson: "That's good."
LMDMay: "And I'm sorry to say, you're not him."

[bettername2come]

Jemma: He just showed up out of nowhere with his own spaceship.

Daisy: It's a baller move. Not to mention that whole bounty hunter look he's sporting.

Jemma: I still prefer him in cardigans.

[blueray]

Flint: What are "tacos"?
Mack: What the hell kind of future is this?

[Raja]

Deke: I used to be very good at self preservation.

[Raja]

Coulson: This may be where it all starts , hell on earth.

Mac: And we're back.

[SnoGirl]

9 hours ago, Raja said:

Coulson: This may be where it all starts , hell on earth.

Mac: And we're back.

Mac seriously has the best lines. 

[Raja]

May: We have a small but active fan base.

Deke: Oh boy!

[Raja]

Daisy: There are no acceptable loses. This isn't Hydra Leopold.

[Jediknight]

Fitz: "We have one man to thank for that."
Deke: "Oh, come on that's overstating it.  Still, it means a lot coming from you two.  I mean, obviously it was pretty touch and go up there for awhile.  But, I called around to tell the Daisy Johnson story, and was able to get everything off the checklist.  Though no one had ever head of Haig.  So, I got something even better."
*holds up Zima*
Deke: "But, yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I was pretty freaked out when I punched the coordinates into the phone and it led me to a grassy field.  But, it's like 'Can the Quinjet get here a little bit quicker, please?'  You know.  But, I managed to brave the critters.  Pro-tip, tuck your pants into your shoes, nothing gets up."
Fitz: "I was absolutely talking about Deathlok."
Coulson: "Goes without saying."

 

Deke: "So you full cyborg or?"
Mike: "Yeah."
Deke: "Cool."

 

Mike: "So, you got the rings, huh?  It's a nice one."
Deke: "Turns out a lot of people pawn wedding rings.  I had to find one that was gonna be small enough for his little boy fingers.  And then for hers, I found this ring that, looks just like this one that my mom used to wear sometimes.  It was my grandma's, I think."

[bettername2come]

Jemma: They couldn't find you a kilt?

[blueray]

Coulson  to Mac "machammer, you can't touch this"

[bettername2come]

Daisy: They'll be okay. Have faith. Or, you know, Xanax.

[Raja]

Anton Ivanov/MODOK Superior : I have simply redefined what that means. Parts of me will always be human. But I have gained so much with this new form. Strength. Immortality. How's that for a cool origin story, bro?

[Jediknight]

Fitz: "He's mine... our... grandson?"
Simmons: "Yeah."
Fitz: "But, he's the worst."
Simmons: "I think he's perfect.  Plus, his very existence proves that you and I make it to the lighthouse.  And live long enough to raise a daughter.  Do you see what this means?"
Fitz: "I do, it means our daughter's obviously going to marry some belligerent space goon, and she's gonna give birth to a Deke!"

[Cigale]

Talbot to Hale: You filthy calamari Mata-Hari !

[Raja]

General Hale: This is Phil Coulson, one of Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

[kitlee625]

Hale: Whitehall's code name for the project: Destroyer of Worlds. Obviously the guy was overcompensating for something.

[kitlee625]

Talbot (loudly): This is my inside voice.

Coulson: Then your quieter inside voice.

Edited April 7, 2018 by kitlee625

[kitlee625]

Coulson: I think as long as we avoid the altitude dial, we should wind up somewhere on Earth. 

Talbott: You know the Earth's 70% water, right?

[blueray]

Talbott to Coulson: do you know you die more than anyone I've ever met.

[SnoGirl]

21 hours ago, kitlee625 said:

Talbot (loudly): This is my inside voice.

Coulson: Then your quieter inside voice.

 

You know, there’s not a lot of quotes I can get away with saying in my classroom from tv. I cannot WAIT to say “then use your quieter inside voice.” LOL.

Edited April 7, 2018 by SnoGirl