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Unpopular Opinions Thread


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Let's bring the discussion back to Unpopular Opinions about the show.  

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On 10/26/2019 at 8:20 AM, JudyObscure said:

We don't shame or blame people for getting those diseases though do we?  We don't post pictures of people with cancer and give it a thumbs down as you would have us do over obese people, do we? I've never actually heard anyone "praised" for being obese. 

Again, my point was clear.  If a sudden unhealthy epidemic plagued 80% or more of all Americans (measles, cancer, polio) as extreme weight or obesity does today like never before, we would be alarmed and want to do something about it.  But with obesity political correctness says we must accept it lest we be labeled insensitive.

And to answer your other question, yes.  In one photo of a morbidly obese woman in a tiny bikini giggling with rolls and rolls of fat spilling all over her people were attacked for commenting that this should not be celebrated.  It was all "celebrate who you are and accept your body".  Or "you go girl!".  That is what I'm talking about.

Would you say "right on!" to having a disease or being unhealthy in any other way?  Anti-shaming and bullying became "love your body the way it is and have no shame".  That was Maher's point.  Once again political correctness over-correcting.

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22 minutes ago, SWLinPHX said:

Again, my point was clear.  If a sudden unhealthy epidemic plagued 80% or more of all Americans (measles, cancer, polio) as extreme weight or obesity does today like never before, we would be alarmed and want to do something about it.  But with obesity political correctness says we must accept it lest we be labeled insensitive.

And to answer your other question, yes.  In one photo of a morbidly obese woman in a tiny bikini giggling with rolls and rolls of fat spilling all over her people were attacked for commenting that this should not be celebrated.  It was all "celebrate who you are and accept your body".  Or "you go girl!".  That is what I'm talking about.

Would you say "right on!" to having a disease or being unhealthy in any other way?  Anti-shaming and bullying became "love your body the way it is and have no shame".  That was Maher's point.  Once again political correctness over-correcting.

I don't see making fun of a morbidly obese woman in a bikini to be any different than mocking my elderly aunt who wore a terrible wig, complete with hairnet!, every day or the guy at work who colors his hair but waits until his gray roots are about 2 inches long between dye jobs.  Or, for that matter, my cousin who turned up at our aunt's church funeral in a tank top, board shorts and sneakers.  

To me, shaming someone because they are not dressed to someone else' standards or don't wear the 'proper' clothing or whose appearance otherwise doesn't meet some preconceived societal standard is just wrong.

If we're going to solve the very real problem of obesity in this country, shame isn't going to do it.  Education and accessibility and affordability of healthy foods as well as promotion of physical fitness is the way to go.

I'm obese, I don't wear bikinis, hell, I didn't wear them when I was thin; but, if someone obese wants to wear a bikini or a burqa, that is his or her business, not mine.  And if other people agree that she looks good in her choice of swimwear, that is not the same as 'accepting' or 'celebrating' being overweight.   It is applauding someone for being true to themselves and wearing what makes them feel good.  If you don't think she looks good in her bikini, and I personally have seen plenty of skinny people who I didn't think looked attractive in a bikini; then you don't have to like the photo.  I don't walk up to people in the mall and tell them their tattoos are ugly or they are wearing too much makeup or their hair looks like a haystack, either.  

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5 hours ago, Neurochick said:

This isn't 100% true.  A lot of poor people are obese because they don't have access to healthy food.  I live in a part of NYC where 4 supermarkets are in walking distance to where I live.  Not everybody is that lucky.  Some people live in areas where there are no supermarkets in walking distance, and they might not have access to a car; however there are lots of fast food places are around.  It's not easy having to take a subway 2 or 3 stops to buy groceries, add multiple children under 12 and it's more than just not easy.   What's helped here are street vendors selling fruits and vegetables, so they're more accessible to people.  

In addition, new research has shown that obesity is actually a disease that some people have and do not gain weight with it while other people have it and they gain lots of weight. You can consume 750 calories and your body will only use 500 of it, while I can consume the same amount and my body will take all 750 calories. It's fascinating new research.

I have just started seeing a bariatric physician and he said that the old "calories in/calories expended" way of losing weight is not the panacea for weight loss. There's much too much to go into now, but when he saw my blood test results, he said, "No wonder you can't lose weight!" I'm on a low carbohydrate diet and I've lost 25 pounds. Since I've gone through several "plateaus," and I have lost fat and gained muscle, I'm not likely to gain it back. I have nothing but compassion for people who battle obesity.

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21 hours ago, Neurochick said:

This isn't 100% true.  A lot of poor people are obese because they don't have access to healthy food.  I live in a part of NYC where 4 supermarkets are in walking distance to where I live.  Not everybody is that lucky.  Some people live in areas where there are no supermarkets in walking distance, and they might not have access to a car; however there are lots of fast food places are around.  It's not easy having to take a subway 2 or 3 stops to buy groceries, add multiple children under 12 and it's more than just not easy.   What's helped here are street vendors selling fruits and vegetables, so they're more accessible to people.  

Then explain how for hundreds of years people under those same conditions where not fat.  Or even after fast food became popular people remained trim until about 20-30 years ago.  Giving into temptation of eating too much fast food is not an indicator of not being able to eat less or better.  It supports what I (and most sociologist and dieticians) have said -- it is lifestyle choices and today's culture.  I see a lot of people making excuses (often those who themselves are overweight) in order not to face the real issue in the vast majority of cases.

15 hours ago, LakeLover said:

In addition, new research has shown that obesity is actually a disease that some people have and do not gain weight with it while other people have it and they gain lots of weight. You can consume 750 calories and your body will only use 500 of it, while I can consume the same amount and my body will take all 750 calories. It's fascinating new research.

I have just started seeing a bariatric physician and he said that the old "calories in/calories expended" way of losing weight is not the panacea for weight loss. There's much too much to go into now, but when he saw my blood test results, he said, "No wonder you can't lose weight!" I'm on a low carbohydrate diet and I've lost 25 pounds. Since I've gone through several "plateaus," and I have lost fat and gained muscle, I'm not likely to gain it back. I have nothing but compassion for people who battle obesity.

Sorry but "calories in/calories out" is indeed the solution for the vast majority and works for most people.  I see people where looking for an exception and trying to apply it in cases where it's just not the case.  Professional sociologists, dieticians and those in the medical field can tell you today's lifestyle and culture is to blame for the vast majority of obesity and the fact that the average American is considerably overweight.  It's just a fact (that some people go to great lengths to excuse or skirt).

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17 hours ago, doodlebug said:

I don't see making fun of a morbidly obese woman in a bikini to be any different than mocking my elderly aunt who wore a terrible wig, complete with hairnet!, every day or the guy at work who colors his hair but waits until his gray roots are about 2 inches long between dye jobs.  Or, for that matter, my cousin who turned up at our aunt's church funeral in a tank top, board shorts and sneakers.  

To me, shaming someone because they are not dressed to someone else' standards or don't wear the 'proper' clothing or whose appearance otherwise doesn't meet some preconceived societal standard is just wrong.

If we're going to solve the very real problem of obesity in this country, shame isn't going to do it.  Education and accessibility and affordability of healthy foods as well as promotion of physical fitness is the way to go.

I'm obese, I don't wear bikinis, hell, I didn't wear them when I was thin; but, if someone obese wants to wear a bikini or a burqa, that is his or her business, not mine.  And if other people agree that she looks good in her choice of swimwear, that is not the same as 'accepting' or 'celebrating' being overweight.   It is applauding someone for being true to themselves and wearing what makes them feel good.  If you don't think she looks good in her bikini, and I personally have seen plenty of skinny people who I didn't think looked attractive in a bikini; then you don't have to like the photo.  I don't walk up to people in the mall and tell them their tattoos are ugly or they are wearing too much makeup or their hair looks like a haystack, either.  

Apparently you didn't read my previous comments because I already said shaming an individual is never okay.  Saying we must all accept our body weight like it is just the same as our race or height or other fixed trait is disingenuous and a product of political correctness gone awry and ignoring an epidemic all experts agree has happened in the past 20-30 years.  That is what has changed.  The majority of Americans weren't overweight in all the history before that.  Again, for the very vast majority it is today's lifestyle and culture that is to blame.

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I expect  to get some hate for this but i wanted to say this

I find the nicky character boring and unsympathetic 

He caused the death of an innocent child, regardless of the fact he was made to fight in a war he didn't want to be in, he had the option to just leave and he refused, he should have just left for all the good he did in the war, additionally he should have just left the kid alone

Jack was right to cut him off for his actions

Additionally he is nothing but an annoying pain in the present, don't know what kevin sees in him or the other two, he caused his own problems and we're excepted to feel bad for him?

he turns down kevins offer to live in a place that isn't falling apart and leaking (I lived in a leaky place most of my life and would have loved to have somewhere that was well maintained)

he wrecks the VA's window and could have hurt someone and then expects kevin to bail him out but is still rude to kevin(he should be in jail, maybe that would make him grow up)

his drinking problem like the child and jack is his own fault and again we are suppose to feel bad for him 

he's just a pointless character who is unsympathetic and takes away from the show imo

just wanted to get this off my chest

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On 10/26/2019 at 8:36 PM, ShadowFacts said:

Although with Kate/Chrissy, her weight has been baked into the story from the start, and it becomes a natural topic of conversation. 

That's the issue that I have.  Chrissy is a lead character on a major TV show, and a significant portion of her character's storyline has to do with weight.  Before Jack's birth, Kate's entire storyline centered on her weight.  Fogelman is enabling this whole thing by focusing so much on weight, and I think it's ridiculous to not assume that there are going to be comments about Chrissy's weight when that is the major focus of Kate's storyline.

While I realize that Chrissy's health is none of my business, the inescapable fact is that she is an obese woman, and she's looking bigger, not smaller.  If she's wearing a weight suit, someone needs to seriously rethink that decision and get it off of her now.  It makes her look unwell.  If that is all her own weight, then she still looks unwell to me.

Another bone that I have to pick with Fogelman---I HATED that scene where young Kate exercised with Rebecca and then immediately went to weigh herself.  I'm not overweight, and I understand that such things happen in real life, but I found asking that actress, who's what, 12-13, to play that scene to be a troubling ask.  There are undertones to that scene that I felt were unnecessary to ask a young girl to play.  Chrissy's an adult.  If they want to ask her to play that material, she knows the undertones and has the emotional maturity to understand what she's playing.  The actress who plays Young Kate does not.

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I always hate when a young actor is asked to do anything involving weight, especially the very special episodes from the 80’s and 90’s where a girl is made fun of for her weight until everyone learns that it is wrong to do so.

I find myself thinking back to Tracey Gold on Growing Pains. Her dad told TPTB that she had had an eating disorder and the brothers making fat jokes about her were a problem.  They told him it was just part of the joke because her character wasn’t heavy, but she couldn’t separate the two. She said she kept saying, “But it’s my body they’re making fun of.”  

Frankly, I really wish they hadn’t said a word about her weight at all.

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8 hours ago, Crs97 said:

I always hate when a young actor is asked to do anything involving weight, especially the very special episodes from the 80’s and 90’s where a girl is made fun of for her weight until everyone learns that it is wrong to do so.

I find myself thinking back to Tracey Gold on Growing Pains. Her dad told TPTB that she had had an eating disorder and the brothers making fat jokes about her were a problem.  They told him it was just part of the joke because her character wasn’t heavy, but she couldn’t separate the two. She said she kept saying, “But it’s my body they’re making fun of.”  

Frankly, I really wish they hadn’t said a word about her weight at all.

Chrissy said she has talked to her "younger self" on the set about weight issues and how she would feel about others perceptions etc.  which is good. Fans and others can be harsh and although she's adorable, not everyone just admires the acting talent.

Today I feel that as a larger group in society we are more critical and more unhealthy. My DIL is on the heavier side and my family likes her but she is "invisible" too.  She isn't talked too as much as other people, she is there but not there. I was asked if they have kids, will she try to lose weight first. Of course, so many of them drink to excess and some smoke, but if I allude to that,  the horror! So I just smile and try to have them see how it looks to others.

My doctor has always been petite and is about 67 now. She tells me she has seen the growing of muffins, bagels, every portion to help contribute to obesity. It was so insidious that unless you were older, you didn't see it. Everything grew, so someone who had a blueberry muffin in the 70's was having 150 calories and now it's 400. Coffee is typically medium to large and with more than milk and sugar. It's a lot more than this, but I know for myself, moving less and eating the same in a way but more added pounds for me. I had to start splitting food or even throwing half out at times to help myself realize it was too much. It is a hard thing to see if you didn't remember what normal portions were but now I try to save the larger portions for pizza and pasta (Italian) and try very hard to cut back on the other sizes and downsize it myself or make it myself.

We have enough shame in this country, we really need more understanding and education.

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9 hours ago, debraran said:

Chrissy said she has talked to her "younger self" on the set about weight issues and how she would feel about others perceptions etc.  which is good. Fans and others can be harsh and although she's adorable, not everyone just admires the acting talent.

Today I feel that as a larger group in society we are more critical and more unhealthy. My DIL is on the heavier side and my family likes her but she is "invisible" too.  She isn't talked too as much as other people, she is there but not there. I was asked if they have kids, will she try to lose weight first. Of course, so many of them drink to excess and some smoke, but if I allude to that,  the horror! So I just smile and try to have them see how it looks to others.

My doctor has always been petite and is about 67 now. She tells me she has seen the growing of muffins, bagels, every portion to help contribute to obesity. It was so insidious that unless you were older, you didn't see it. Everything grew, so someone who had a blueberry muffin in the 70's was having 150 calories and now it's 400. Coffee is typically medium to large and with more than milk and sugar. It's a lot more than this, but I know for myself, moving less and eating the same in a way but more added pounds for me. I had to start splitting food or even throwing half out at times to help myself realize it was too much. It is a hard thing to see if you didn't remember what normal portions were but now I try to save the larger portions for pizza and pasta (Italian) and try very hard to cut back on the other sizes and downsize it myself or make it myself.

We have enough shame in this country, we really need more understanding and education.

Portion size is EVERYTHING (as I said in an earlier post).  I'm 40 and though I don't remember too much about food in the 80s (I was too little!), I DO remember that in the 90s, Starbucks actually HAD short on their menu boards.  These days, you have to KNOW that short exists.  The default on their app is a Grande, which is twice the amount of liquid as short (I typically order Tall).  I'm also seeing more and more sugary drinks promoted at a whole variety of different places.  All I can say is EW.  

I'm glad Chrissy has talked to her "younger self."  But I really wish we were actually ALLOWED to openly discuss weight issues (without shaming anyone).  I wonder if this will be addressed on the show.  Doubt it.  They don't want to be criticized for not being PC.

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Ok. I'm going to go on a different route on my unpopular opinion.  I like Cassidy.  I don't get the anti Cassidy on the main boards. Maybe because this board is predominantly female and don't see Cassidy as worthy or glam enough for Kevin? Kevin has never been with anyone remotely close to her on the show. She got him mixed up with another actor. Did she say Charles in Charge or Who's the Boss? Either or, Scott Biao or Tony Danza is much too old for Kevin Pearson.  She was probably watching reruns on the Armed Forces Network.  I think she is self sufficient, grounded, no frills, and attractive. Unfortunately after her service in the Middle East she has an alcohol problem and her marriage is fractured.  If she can face and control her alcoholism she would be a huge catch for most guys in the age group

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5 hours ago, Kirkydee said:

Ok. I'm going to go on a different route on my unpopular opinion.  I like Cassidy.  I don't get the anti Cassidy on the main boards. Maybe because this board is predominantly female and don't see Cassidy as worthy or glam enough for Kevin? Kevin has never been with anyone remotely close to her on the show. She got him mixed up with another actor. Did she say Charles in Charge or Who's the Boss? Either or, Scott Biao or Tony Danza is much too old for Kevin Pearson.  She was probably watching reruns on the Armed Forces Network.  I think she is self sufficient, grounded, no frills, and attractive. Unfortunately after her service in the Middle East she has an alcohol problem and her marriage is fractured.  If she can face and control her alcoholism she would be a huge catch for most guys in the age group

Honestly, this. For one, Jennifer Morrison is stunning. I've been lucky enough to meet her a couple of times at fan events; I was showing my coworker my most recent photo op and she said she was so beautiful she didn't even seem real. But when it comes to Cassidy, heaven forbid a woman in her late 30s is not heavily made up and has some natural lines on her face. 

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I had never seen Jennifer Morrison in anything else so I went to Google Images and looked at plenty of pictures where she's all made up with long blonde hair --and I still would put her at a five to Kevin's ten.  Which always seems sort of hard to believe when we don't see that too much in real life.  So I don't think it's about make-up but personal taste in what we find attractive.  I just don't think the big cheekbones, down turned thin lips and wiry, muscular body is  very attractive on women. And I know lots of other people do, it's just a millage variable.

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On 10/28/2019 at 5:22 PM, balmz said:

I expect  to get some hate for this but i wanted to say this

I find the nicky character boring and unsympathetic 

I know this is pretty unpopular, but I totally agree. Maybe it's because I'm not a fan of Jack (another UO!), but I don't understand why the show is spending this much time on an unlikable character who has not shown any growth at all.

13 hours ago, Kirkydee said:

I like Cassidy. 

I do too - she seems to serve a similar purpose as Nicky, but I like her much more than him. And while I wish they hadn't put her and Kevin together so quickly, I do really like their dynamic.

Finally, I hope this doesn't come across as offensive, but I really wish they hadn't cast someone as big as Chrissy for the Kate role. I do think she's a good actress, but at her size, weight is going to be at the forefront of every storyline for her and it's getting really old. If they had cast someone overweight but not morbidly obese, I think they could do a lot more with the character.

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On 10/28/2019 at 7:56 PM, Ohmo said:

Another bone that I have to pick with Fogelman---I HATED that scene where young Kate exercised with Rebecc,a and then immediately went to weigh herself. 

I dunno...I honestly think that's a very real thing for a girl that age to do, especially one that's a little chubby. I went through a phase around that age where I was super body conscious, but I too didn't really go about it the right way (probably because I am the exact same age as Kate, so while society was beginning to talk about all this stuff, it definitely was nowhere near what it is today). It's really not uncommon for a tween or tween to expect instant results for things. 

1 hour ago, JudyObscure said:

I had never seen Jennifer Morrison in anything else so I went to Google Images and looked at plenty of pictures where she's all made up with long blonde hair

She is a natural blonde. I recall reading when she was on House - the first thing I ever saw her on - that she had dyed her hair dark because she was afraid that she wouldn't be taken seriously as a young female blonde doctor. That honestly makes me a bit sad to hear, but IMO she looks good either way.

On 10/28/2019 at 6:22 PM, balmz said:

I expect  to get some hate for this but i wanted to say this

I find the nicky character boring and unsympathetic 

Same. I think they have spent waaaay too much time on Nicky's story, on a show with a large cast of characters that have to have stories carefully measured out and squeezed in. 

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34 minutes ago, SnarkySheep said:

She is a natural blonde. I recall reading when she was on House - the first thing I ever saw her on - that she had dyed her hair dark because she was afraid that she wouldn't be taken seriously as a young female blonde doctor.

Merle Streep, Reese Witherspoon, Gweneth Paltrow and Helen Mirrin get serious roles even though they're blondes. I have two doctors who are young female blondes.

It makes me think Morrison really believes she's more beautiful than the other actresses and has to tone it down so we wont all faint from the radiant glow. 

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2 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Merle Streep, Reese Witherspoon, Gweneth Paltrow and Helen Mirrin get serious roles even though they're blondes. I have two doctors who are young female blondes.

It makes me think Morrison really believes she's more beautiful than the other actresses and has to tone it down so we wont all faint from the radiant glow. 

Uh, pretty sure that was the character's rationale, not the actor.  Jennifer Morrison dyed her hair because actors dye their hair for the job all the time.

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34 minutes ago, Mars477 said:

Uh, pretty sure that was the character's rationale, not the actor.  Jennifer Morrison dyed her hair because actors dye their hair for the job all the time.

Hum, the way it was written I thought it was Morrison, not the show runners who thought she wouldn't be taken seriously.  As a brunette I've always been offended by actresses who assume that if they make their hair my color, they wont be  pretty anymore.

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1 hour ago, SnarkySheep said:

I dunno...I honestly think that's a very real thing for a girl that age to do, especially one that's a little chubby. I went through a phase around that age where I was super body conscious, but I too didn't really go about it the right way (probably because I am the exact same age as Kate, so while society was beginning to talk about all this stuff, it definitely was nowhere near what it is today). It's really not uncommon for a tween or tween to expect instant results for things. 

That scene was 100% real, as far as I'm concerned.  I wasn't even overweight as a tween, but I remember doing leg lifts in my bedroom so I wouldn't get fat, and I would also follow along with that wonderful lady who did yoga on PBS.  She made me feel better about my body because she was so peaceful and calm and she talked about flexibility and strength and balance...the things your body can do rather than how it looks. 

I also used to dance along to American Bandstand and Soul Train because it was fun, and no one told me it was exercise, but it was!  The thinking on exercise back then, much like now, is exercise is hard and involves running or the gym and revealing outfits.  So I really liked that Rebecca told Kate that the aerobicize she was doing was fun.   That's a better way to teach a lifelong love for exercise - do something you think is fun.  If Kate likes singing, then it seems dancing could be a natural fit for her...it worked for Madonna!  Maybe Rebecca could have asked if she wanted to take a fun dance class, just like Randall was given golf lessons and Kevin was given sports.  

I like Cassidy, too.  I don't like the cheating, but I like the actress and character.

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58 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Merle Streep, Reese Witherspoon, Gweneth Paltrow and Helen Mirrin get serious roles even though they're blondes. I have two doctors who are young female blondes.

If I remember correctly, the reasoning was that the character of House wouldn't have taken the character of Cameron seriously as a blonde, hence the dye job. (Which, if you've seen House, is not outside the realm of possibility.) She was also a 23-year-old actress playing a doctor in her early 30s. At one of the fan events I attended, Jen mentioned that going by Cameron's CV, the year Cameron graduated medical school was the year Jennifer Morrison got out of junior high.

16 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

As a brunette I've always been offended by actresses who assume that if they make their hair my color, they wont be  pretty anymore.

No one here has said that, least of all Jennifer Morrison.

I fully understand that everyone has their own ideas of what constitutes "attractive," but I really take issue with the notion that once women start to get the tiniest amount of wrinkles on their face or if they don't wear heavy makeup, they're no longer worthy of male attention. And, even without taking into consideration that a woman in Cassidy's position understandably is not going to place a priority on a full makeup routine when she's just trying to get through each day without a drink, I find the constant harping on how they're choosing to make up this particular character a little tiring.

Edited by Dani-Ellie
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13 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Hum, the way it was written I thought it was Morrison, not the show runners who thought she wouldn't be taken seriously.  As a brunette I've always been offended by actresses who assume that if they make their hair my color, they wont be  pretty anymore.

Actually I lied.  According to Wikipedia the character actually dyes her hair blonde after a few seasons rather than the other way around.  It’s been ages since I watched House to be honest, and I really doubt I’d be able to take it seriously now that I’m working in a hospital.

10 minutes ago, izabella said:

I like Cassidy, too.  I don't like the cheating, but I like the actress and character.

If they’re separated (and have been for a few months at least) then it’s not cheating IMO.  Divorce is just the paperwork that makes it official in the eyes of the government, but their marriage is already over.

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18 minutes ago, Dani-Ellie said:

I fully understand that everyone has their own ideas of what constitutes "attractive," but I really take issue with the notion that once women start to get the tiniest amount of wrinkles on their face or if they don't wear heavy makeup, they're no longer worthy of male attention. And, even without taking into consideration that a woman in Cassidy's position understandably is not going to place a priority on a full makeup routine when she's just trying to get through each day without a drink, I find the constant harping on how they're choosing to make up this particular character a little tiring.

Constant harping?  I've never said a word about her makeup  or noticed any wrinkles.  I just don't find her looks or personality very attractive, with or without  make up or with or without blonde hair. 

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4 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Constant harping?  I've never said a word about her makeup  or noticed any wrinkles.  I just don't find her looks or personality very attractive, with or without  make up or with or without blonde hair. 

Not you, specifically, but in the episode threads.

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4 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

I had never seen Jennifer Morrison in anything else so I went to Google Images and looked at plenty of pictures where she's all made up with long blonde hair --and I still would put her at a five to Kevin's ten.  Which always seems sort of hard to believe when we don't see that too much in real life.  So I don't think it's about make-up but personal taste in what we find attractive.  I just don't think the big cheekbones, down turned thin lips and wiry, muscular body is  very attractive on women. And I know lots of other people do, it's just a millage variable.

I personally don’t find Kevin that amazing looking .. he’s cute but I don’t think he’s anything special so I’m guessing that’s definitely an unpopular opinion . 
that being said , I have seen really good looking men in real life going for women I don’t find attractive at all and vice versa so it does happen often .. but yeah I find Cassidy almost hard to look at . It’s not her lack of make up . There’s lots of beautiful women who are makeup free or who wear minimal . 

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I have laugh-watched this show (it's a friendly offshoot of hate-watching) since its inception, as I find the dialogue hysterical because no one in real life speaks or acts like anything approaching these characters, but I never pay attention and I've never felt compelled to comment, but after last night's episode, I have to:

When Toby made that speech at the end of the episode how he rawly and savagely wants Kate in a physical way and lusts after her for no reason but her looks, I was just like...this is too much bullshit.  Kate is not "just" morbidly obese.  

This is a morbidly obese woman (5'5" and 280, according to People):

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Kate appears to be at least 100 lbs heavier than that.  I actually think she's north of 400, depending on her height.  I totally can believe that Toby is into his wife in a sexual way, but I think, given her size, his attraction would have to be rooted at least in part in their emotional/mental connection.  He doesn't just want her for her body.  It's beyond suspension of disbelief, considering Toby does not have a fat fetish, evidenced by his skinny ex-wife.

I'm not giving an opinion as much as I am making an observation--this show appears to be trying to equate skinny with (really, really, really) fat as far as attraction from the opposite sex and health, and that's not how this works.  

Plenty of really fat people find really fulfilling relationships, but I don't think it works the way the show is portraying it by a long shot, and I actually think it's very insulting to the viewer.  It's just virtue signaling.  If they had cast an actress that was morbidly obese, but not at the point where I, as the viewer, am wondering how it is that she's stil mobile, like Roseanne back in the day, it would go a very long way in causing me to believe any of this.

My opinion is not anti-fat; it's anti-unrealistic.  I love seeing fat people portrayed on TV.  Most American adults are overweight, but they're invisible in the media, especially women.  Hey show, if you're going to tell their story, which I applaud, make it accurate, and not how you think it should be.  It's not ideal to be fat.  Tell that story.  

To round out my unpopular opinions--let's see--I think Kevin should be cut from the show because he is so boring.  I don't buy Mandy Moore's character--it's too sincere.  Moms of three are too tired to be that perky.  The kid that plays young Randall is becoming a burgeoning actor--I've seen him in a few other things--and I really hope his parents invest some of that entertainment money into orthodontia, or he is going to be typecast as the next Michael Strahan.  And I don't think there is something that is too traumatic to ask a child actor to do, as they are actors and this is a tough industry.  Maybe they should be psychologically vetted, but I don't think there's a place in TV or cinema where we cannot go with children actors.  

The irony is that I actually started watching this show because of Chrissy Metz.  I never see a really fat woman on TV, and I thought her trials and tribulations would be interesting.  I didn't know the show was going to convert what has got to be a really tough existence into happy bliss, and now I guess I'm stuck watching because...well, actually I'm not stuck watching.  I might take it off the DVR if the showrunners keep pretending that Kate is 180 lbs.

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3 hours ago, Mars477 said:

Uh, pretty sure that was the character's rationale, not the actor.  Jennifer Morrison dyed her hair because actors dye their hair for the job all the time.

No...it was the motivation of the actor, not the character. Obviously, there are many blonde female doctors IRL. It was just the feeling of Morrison about it. I tried Googling it but had trouble pulling up much, probably because it was so long ago at this point.

Edited by SnarkySheep
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On 10/30/2019 at 7:25 PM, JudyObscure said:

As a brunette I've always been offended by actresses who assume that if they make their hair my color, they wont be  pretty anymore.

Not, "won't be pretty," but won't be mistaken for stupid and frivolous. There isn't an epithet, "dumb brunettes" or any equivalent for "blondie."  Movies and TV helped create the stereotype and continue to reinforce it. Nice to look at and no threat. And for some in real life, the ability to dismiss a colleague or competitor as a person, based on her hair color, is like giving themselves an extra peremptory challenge.  

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6 minutes ago, Pallas said:

Not, "won't be pretty," but won't be mistaken for stupid and frivolous. There isn't an epithet, "dumb brunettes" or any equivalent for "blondie."  Movies and TV helped create the stereotype and continue to reinforce it. Nice to look at and no threat. And for some in real life, the ability to dismiss a colleague or competitor as a person, based on her hair color, as like giving themselves an extra peremptory challenge.  

The definitely happens in real life.  I have a cousin who naturally has curly blonde hair.  When she took a job in healthcare administration, she started dying her hair brunette and straightening it.  

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I've heard the "dumb blonde" thing of course but it must only be taken seriously by truly dumb people, not the ones doing the hiring, because I look around and see blondes in all sort of top positions so I think it's not the big deterrent some may think it is.  Last week my husband went through a major health crises so we saw an urgent care director, the top doctor in a huge emergency facility and the head cardiologist at one of Columbus's hospitals -- all three young blondes. Hillary Clinton almost became president with blonde hair.  So excuse me if I think Morrison dying her hair dark wasn't  something she had to do to be taken seriously.  I think she thought her beauty was just too darn distracting and she had to tone it down.

What I heard all my life were comments like this, "You would be a ten if you were a blonde," "Mary?  Sure she's got a (name the flaw) but she's a blonde."  My father, "Looks like the neighbor girl is going to be a blonde, she'll be a beauty queen,"  Guy I had been dating for awhile, "I always preferred blondes, but I just couldn't get one."  And just as there are dumb blonde jokes, there are thousands of jokes that always describe the desirable woman   as "A blonde:"   "We all thought he was a loser but one day he walked in with a blonde on each arm..."  It was always clear to me from my father and the rest of the world that I would never be considered top drawer as a brunette.

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Women's looks get all kinds of shit no matter what.  Mousy brunette is just as much of a tv stereotype as dumb blonde.  I can't get too mad at women trying to change their appearance for a job.  I used to have straight, business chick bob so I would be taken seriously at work.  Now I let my wavy hair do its thing without caring, yay.  I would expect an actress to try all different things to get roles.

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1 hour ago, JudyObscure said:

I've heard the "dumb blonde" thing of course but it must only be taken seriously by truly dumb people, not the ones doing the hiring, because I look around and see blondes in all sort of top positions so I think it's not the big deterrent some may think it is.  Last week my husband went through a major health crises so we saw an urgent care director, the top doctor in a huge emergency facility and the head cardiologist at one of Columbus's hospitals -- all three young blondes. Hillary Clinton almost became president with blonde hair.  So excuse me if I think Morrison dying her hair dark wasn't  something she had to do to be taken seriously.  I think she thought her beauty was just too darn distracting and she had to tone it down.

What I heard all my life were comments like this, "You would be a ten if you were a blonde," "Mary?  Sure she's got a (name the flaw) but she's a blonde."  My father, "Looks like the neighbor girl is going to be a blonde, she'll be a beauty queen,"  Guy I had been dating for awhile, "I always preferred blondes, but I just couldn't get one."  And just as there are dumb blonde jokes, there are thousands of jokes that always describe the desirable woman   as "A blonde:"   "We all thought he was a loser but one day he walked in with a blonde on each arm..."  It was always clear to me from my father and the rest of the world that I would never be considered top drawer as a brunette.

First of all, I'm sorry about your husband and hope he's doing well!  I think being blonde is no detriment to success, there have been studies about attractive people having an edge in hiring and advancing in jobs, and it's no secret that light hair/skin/eyes have been idealized across the years.  I see it beginning to change, though.

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2 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

So excuse me if I think Morrison dying her hair dark wasn't  something she had to do to be taken seriously.  I think she thought her beauty was just too darn distracting and she had to tone it down.

Again, the reason for the dying of her hair for House was that she felt that a character like Dr. House would not have taken the character of Cameron seriously as a young, blonde doctor. It had nothing to do with what Jennifer Morrison felt as herself and about her place in the world and everything to do with how she felt the characters as written on the page would relate to one another.

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On 10/28/2019 at 11:38 AM, SWLinPHX said:

Then explain how for hundreds of years people under those same conditions where not fat.  Or even after fast food became popular people remained trim until about 20-30 years ago.  Giving into temptation of eating too much fast food is not an indicator of not being able to eat less or better.  It supports what I (and most sociologist and dieticians) have said -- it is lifestyle choices and today's culture.  I see a lot of people making excuses (often those who themselves are overweight) in order not to face the real issue in the vast majority of cases.

It isn't a lifestyle choice if people don't have access to things.   The conditions you speak of are not the same today.  There is more fast food in poor neighborhoods than wealthy ones.  Fifty years ago, most fast food places were on the side of the road, not in the inner cities.  Portion sizes were smaller years ago.  As a child in the 60's and 70's I never saw huge muffins, there wasn't as much processed food

Here's another example, I have seen MANY times in bodegas where a liter of soda will be 99 cents, while a bottle of water will cost 1.50.  Eating healthy is expensive.  Years ago there weren't as many crap options around.  I remember when McDonald's didn't serve breakfast, when McNuggets didn't exist.  

Conditions were way different decades ago.  

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On 10/30/2019 at 7:37 PM, Dani-Ellie said:

If I remember correctly, the reasoning was that the character of House wouldn't have taken the character of Cameron seriously as a blonde, hence the dye job. (Which, if you've seen House, is not outside the realm of possibility.) She was also a 23-year-old actress playing a doctor in her early 30s. At one of the fan events I attended, Jen mentioned that going by Cameron's CV, the year Cameron graduated medical school was the year Jennifer Morrison got out of junior high.

No one here has said that, least of all Jennifer Morrison.

I fully understand that everyone has their own ideas of what constitutes "attractive," but I really take issue with the notion that once women start to get the tiniest amount of wrinkles on their face or if they don't wear heavy makeup, they're no longer worthy of male attention. And, even without taking into consideration that a woman in Cassidy's position understandably is not going to place a priority on a full makeup routine when she's just trying to get through each day without a drink, I find the constant harping on how they're choosing to make up this particular character a little tiring.

On 10/30/2019 at 8:00 PM, JudyObscure said:

Constant harping?  I've never said a word about her makeup  or noticed any wrinkles.  I just don't find her looks or personality very attractive, with or without  make up or with or without blonde hair. 

On 10/30/2019 at 9:31 PM, Jaclyn88 said:

I personally don’t find Kevin that amazing looking .. he’s cute but I don’t think he’s anything special so I’m guessing that’s definitely an unpopular opinion . 
that being said , I have seen really good looking men in real life going for women I don’t find attractive at all and vice versa so it does happen often .. but yeah I find Cassidy almost hard to look at . It’s not her lack of make up . There’s lots of beautiful women who are makeup free or who wear minimal . 

23 hours ago, izabella said:

Women's looks get all kinds of shit no matter what.  Mousy brunette is just as much of a tv stereotype as dumb blonde.  I can't get too mad at women trying to change their appearance for a job.  I used to have straight, business chick bob so I would be taken seriously at work.  Now I let my wavy hair do its thing without caring, yay.  I would expect an actress to try all different things to get roles.

First of all all thanks for the great discussion. You all make some fantastic points about how women are damned for both being both attractive and not attractive enough.

I remember watching house and how there was always comments about how attractive all the female doctors were. It was supposed to show case how much of a pig House was. However, it also pointed out the show never hired actress that did not look a certain way.

I remember how when house first met JM’s character he actually asked why would she bother to become a doctor when she was beautiful enough to marry a doctor. The actor who played House went on a talk show and spoke about how stupid that line was and how he hated that the writers were saying that pretty women need only to be decorative. I actually know several female doctors who are quite attractive in real life.

As for myself, I am a woman of color that has always been told that I would never be “white girl pretty”. It was just a default that my features and skin tone would never be seen as attractive in the society that I inhabit. As a child it could be hurtful but you learn to accept yourself as you get older.

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15 hours ago, Neurochick said:

It isn't a lifestyle choice if people don't have access to things.   The conditions you speak of are not the same today.  There is more fast food in poor neighborhoods than wealthy ones.  Fifty years ago, most fast food places were on the side of the road, not in the inner cities.  Portion sizes were smaller years ago.  As a child in the 60's and 70's I never saw huge muffins, there wasn't as much processed food

Here's another example, I have seen MANY times in bodegas where a liter of soda will be 99 cents, while a bottle of water will cost 1.50.  Eating healthy is expensive.  Years ago there weren't as many crap options around.  I remember when McDonald's didn't serve breakfast, when McNuggets didn't exist.  

Conditions were way different decades ago.  

Portion sizes is a reflection on culture and lifestyle choice.  No one is forced to order or eat large portions.  They can share, take it home, etc.  And the excuse that poor people have to eat lots of fattening food or else starve just doesn't hold water for me.  I just lost 60 lbs. in 4 months by eating cheap food, not going to Whole Foods or buying organic or gourmet.  The reason for the majority is change in culture, technology, lifestyle, etc.  All things anyone can change about themselves if they want to and are dedicated.

I think we need to drop this subject as it is not about the show.

Edited by SWLinPHX
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I like young Beth so much more than adult Beth. With adult Beth, especially when and is around Randall's family, she is barely tolerating them and thinks everyone around her is a moron and blessed to have her around to handle things and let them know how things should really be. With young Beth, she seems sweet, a bit vulnerable but still has a confidence in who she is while still carrying about her relationship with others.

Kate hasn't been likeable since she was a young girl. At this point, I would only care if they killed her off because of how hard that would be on Rebecca, Kevin, and Randall. She is easily my least favorite character on the show.

And finally, I agree with those who said they don't care anything about Nicky. Justin Hartley is doing what he can with this crap material, but I hate that they are wasting Kevin on this dull storyline.

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34 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Unpopular opinion, I miss Randall's and Beth's old house. I also have not really liked him since the councilman story line began.

It looks like they repurposed the old set a little bit.  I think choosing to have him in a political setting was a bad move.  Probably anything but that would resonate more with me.  I do not care to see him wheeling and dealing on the golf course, taking the door off his office, any of it. 

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1 hour ago, ShadowFacts said:

It looks like they repurposed the old set a little bit.  I think choosing to have him in a political setting was a bad move.  Probably anything but that would resonate more with me.  I do not care to see him wheeling and dealing on the golf course, taking the door off his office, any of it. 

Unpopular Opinion- Why is Randall honoring his biological father more than the family who raised him? This comes from a William fan.

It really has been boring. Also, he seems to be coming from a very naive and strange place.

He wants to be a councilmen to honor the memory of his biological father who he has known for only one year and this is the reason he uproots his family?

I loved William but come on.

When he gets to Philly, he is squeamish about Deja riding the bus. Wait, aren't those awful bus riders the very people that you want to help? 

Alcoholism and addiction plague the family who raised him. Heck, addiction also derailed William. Why is he not more interested in that type of thing, if he is worried so much about cherishing his legacy.

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I’m not sure if this is necessarily an “unpopular opinion,” but could Rebecca’s memory issues be related to mini strokes rather than dementia?  At her age, it isn’t unrealistic.  

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10 minutes ago, PRgal said:

I’m not sure if this is necessarily an “unpopular opinion,” but could Rebecca’s memory issues be related to mini strokes rather than dementia?  At her age, it isn’t unrealistic.  

I mentioned that in the recent episode thread.  It could be that, or some form of seizures, or brain tumor, or other things. 

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On 11/7/2019 at 11:46 AM, qtpye said:

When he gets to Philly, he is squeamish about Deja riding the bus. Wait, aren't those awful bus riders the very people that you want to help? 

Alcoholism and addiction plague the family who raised him. Heck, addiction also derailed William. Why is he not more interested in that type of thing, if he is worried so much about cherishing his legacy.

Because no matter what, this is a very white show that only pays lip service to substantive issues.

Disclosure; I semi-hatewatch this show.

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6 hours ago, PRgal said:

I’m not sure if this is necessarily an “unpopular opinion,” but could Rebecca’s memory issues be related to mini strokes rather than dementia?  At her age, it isn’t unrealistic.  

My aunt had a couple mini strokes around rebeccas age but all they did was accelerate dementia. So if it’s mini strokes, there’s not much difference.

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Not sure this is an UO here, but it is other places: I wish Deja hadn't been introduced or at least didn't have such a heavy focus on her. I'm not interested in teen drama or angst in my prime time shows. 

Also, I'm not liking that every single traumatic event possible has affected this family. Well, I take that back, they haven't experienced any natural disasters yet, I guess that'll be season 5.

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1 hour ago, nixgirl28 said:

Also, I'm not liking that every single traumatic event possible has affected this family. Well, I take that back, they haven't experienced any natural disasters yet, I guess that'll be season 5.

Yes, well, some of them do live in California . . .

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1 hour ago, ShadowFacts said:

Yes, well, some of them do live in California . . .

TIU won't be able to have a fake earthquake that affects part of the state.  That would be too alternate universe.  Maybe an isolated landslide of someone's mansion?  They could incorporate the next inevitable wildfire in either northern or southern California, but that would be another TIU fire.

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On 10/30/2019 at 7:28 PM, izabella said:

That scene was 100% real, as far as I'm concerned. 

I didn't say the scene wasn't real.  My issue is asking a young actress who is 12-13 in real life to play that scene on television.  Fogelman has written several scenes for that actress that have focused on Rebecca making Kate very aware of her weight or Kate being very aware of her weight. I understand that happens in real life, but this is a story,  I'm troubled by continually asking a 12-13 year-old to play such scenes because those scenes have undertones to them that the actress might not be emotionally equipped to deal with or may cause her to have negative thoughts about her own body.  Teenage Kate and Chrissy are older actresses.  They have more of an understanding and level of maturity to deal with those scenes than someone who's 12-13.

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On 11/15/2019 at 2:16 PM, PRgal said:

I’m not sure if this is necessarily an “unpopular opinion,” but could Rebecca’s memory issues be related to mini strokes rather than dementia?  At her age, it isn’t unrealistic.  

That's what caused my cousin's dementia.  She was having lots of mini stokes. It's called Vascular dementia after it reaches a certain point. Later on, it seems to progress like other conditions that cause dementia, like Alzheimers. (Most people with it do have certain risk factors like obesity, hypertension, diabetes, etc.).  I don't think Rebecca has any of those, so,  I'll be curious to see how they handle this with Rebecca.  Right now, it appears to be at the point of Cognitive Decline, but, it may or may not progress.  We'll see if she gets a real evaluation or not.  If they go the Alzheimer's route, it's going to be sad, but, predictable.   And, I'm going to be very disappointed if they just portray dementia as someone losing their memory.  It's soooo much more. (Incontinence, loss of mobility, poor balance, sleep disorders, depression, etc.)

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