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S03.E09: Jessa's Announcement


bigskygirl
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I do think that something scary happened in Danger America, but I also think Jill's biggest problem is she desperately misses her family. Being Duggar is her whole identity and I think she's mourning it big time. I do notice that she doesn't reach out to Izzy much - that's a real puzzler since she seems so close with her buddies and even seems more affectionate with Spurgy. I might would've guessed that she's discovered she isn't actually attracted to Derick and that's why she's withdrawing, but she seems to like Derick too. Poor Izzy.

Meanwhile, notice how they've said several times that Jim Bob bought the guest house, as if it doesn't also belong to MEchelle. 

Edited by OpieTaylor
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Once again way, way too much Ben. He's really full of himself, isn't he? The hell w/the comment about the Korean BBQ place?! Methinks he learned the word "celebratory" from listening to Jeremy's talking head. 

I really do wonder what happened in Central America with Jill. I lived on an Army installation in Panama in the early 90s. We had to keep our doors locked because people DID just walk in and grab whatever was close to the door. There is a perception that all Americans are rich. The crime there against Americans was more property crime so I never really felt unsafe. This was after Operation Just Cause, too, and anti-American sentiment was high. It was directed more at the American gov't than individuals though. 

I actually loved living there (but again safely on Fort Clayton). People who lived on the economy DID deal with water and power outages, even in a big city like Panama City.

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10 hours ago, DOBABYR said:

Maybe Derrick isn't as fertile as Ben. Ben does come from a larger family. The women always think it is them. Like an above poster said it may be because Jill still breastfeeds but Jessa didn't have that issue nor did Michelle. 

Didn't Michelle always quit breastfeeding quite early?

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I feel sorry for Jill. Derick is such an insensitive dickhead. She hates Central America with its non flushable toilet paper and heat and dirty water and all the rest, but above all she clearly fears being a victim of crime. She cries thinking about it, don't make her go back. 

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18 minutes ago, Kokapetl said:

I feel sorry for Jill. Derick is such an insensitive dickhead. She hates Central America with its non flushable toilet paper and heat and dirty water and all the rest, but above all she clearly fears being a victim of crime. She cries thinking about it, don't make her go back. 

Yes, she's a mess and Derick's got to handle the situation. Not sure her family will be much help in that regard, unless Derick wants to surrender and become a wholly owned subsidiary of Duggar Enterprises, like Bin. Edited to add: in which case Jilly will settle happily back into her status quo and remain the 14 year old Derick married, unless he can help her learn more life skills. Which she really won't have the need for if she stays snugly within the Duggar empire from which she can look down on everyone who isn't.

If Jill's really all that traumatized by CA, it seems severely tone-deaf of MEchelle to post that photo recently of the kidult daughters with a caption about how nice it is to have them all together again, until Jill returns again to Central America. 

Oh, wait. This is MEchelle I'm talking about. Tone-deaf and zoned out. I suppose she got the idea in her head "Derick + Jill = missionaries" and since evangelicals generally tend to revere missionaries, that's a big speshul deal, and it's stuck. Heaven forbid she should actually look at and listen to her daughter. 

Edited by Jeeves
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24 minutes ago, Kokapetl said:

I feel sorry for Jill. Derick is such an insensitive dickhead. She hates Central America with its non flushable toilet paper and heat and dirty water and all the rest, but above all she clearly fears being a victim of crime. She cries thinking about it, don't make her go back. 

She was pregnant when the Vile Josh news splashed her private situation all over the news.  The Megyn Kelly interveiw which we all suspect that Jim Bob "suggested".  Then a first baby, then moving to CA, then Josh is in the news AGAIN so that reopened more wounds and AGAIN put Jill in the spotlight, then possible crime in CA, then she hates it.  Being a victim/survivor of a sexual crime, Jill is probably VERY scared in CA.  Derick has not factored that in to his life plan. 

Maybe CA is not the place for JIll right now.  When they were courting and engaged, she was OK with being a missionary wife.  That was way before the Vile Josh news came out and forced Jill to "unrepress" things that she deeply repressed for years.  I imagine she is dealing with a lot with no support whatsoever. 

Derick, things have changed for Jill.  Maybe she needs to be home for a while, get some counseling and  heal up emotionally. 

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12 minutes ago, Marigold said:

She was pregnant when the Vile Josh news splashed her private situation all over the news.  The Megyn Kelly interveiw which we all suspect that Jim Bob "suggested".  Then a first baby, then moving to CA, then Josh is in the news AGAIN so that reopened more wounds and AGAIN put Jill in the spotlight, then possible crime in CA, then she hates it.  Being a victim/survivor of a sexual crime, Jill is probably VERY scared in CA.  Derick has not factored that in to his life plan. 

Maybe CA is not the place for JIll right now.  When they were courting and engaged, she was OK with being a missionary wife.  That was way before the Vile Josh news came out and forced Jill to "unrepress" things that she deeply repressed for years.  I imagine she is dealing with a lot with no support whatsoever. 

Derick, things have changed for Jill.  Maybe she needs to be home for a while, get some counseling and  heal up emotionally. 

That last bit is the tricky part, IMO. The official Duggar party line is that Smuggar's molestations were harmless and all forgiven and over the clothes and the little girls were asleep. Nothing to see here, move right along. Jill paid at least lip service to that on national TV.

Unless Derick insists on Jill seeing a competent counselor - which I think would be against Jill's own wishes and totally a FU to the King and Queen of Duggardom - returning to Duggarville will merely put Jill back into her old comfort zone. At least that will relieve a lot of her anxieties related to CA. And it may help her "heal" emotionally. As much as she can without rocking the Duggar boat, which doesn't seem to be Jill's thing at all.

Obviously, if going back to CA would really push Jill over the edge, that's a no-no. But so far even MEchelle seems to think they are going back. Ruh-roh. 

Edited by Jeeves
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Jill probably doesn't know why she is so messed up herself.  She was told the molestation is no big deal and she believes whatever her parents tell her. 

I actually don't like Jill at all but it must be awful to be dealing with all these feelings and not know why...just thinking that you're not praying enough or need to beef up your Bible reading. 

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8 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Jill probably doesn't know why she is so messed up herself.  She was told the molestation is no big deal and she believes whatever her parents tell her. 

I actually don't like Jill at all but it must be awful to be dealing with all these feelings and not know why...just thinking that you're not praying enough or need to beef up your Bible reading. 

Sad, but true.

On the surface I think just getting back to Arkansas has helped. Jill and Derick have posted pics on social media since they returned from CA, and in general I thought Jill looked better than she had when they were in CA. 

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On ‎10‎/‎19‎/‎2016 at 9:19 AM, deaja said:

Choo Choo? Seriously? No, really. Choo Choo?!?!

Changed my mind but basically that nickname is really fucking stupid. I hate it and Jill sounds like an idiot saying it.

Edited by woodscommaelle
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1 hour ago, Kokapetl said:

I feel sorry for Jill. Derick is such an insensitive dickhead. She hates Central America with its non flushable toilet paper and heat and dirty water and all the rest, but above all she clearly fears being a victim of crime. She cries thinking about it, don't make her go back. 

But is she going to step up and take some responsibility in this marriage? Derrick "met" a woman (girl) who said she had a heart for missions and goal of becoming a "midwife." And now he's found he has a life partner who is seemingly unable to contribute meaningfully to the marriage, or even express what she feels or wants. As the "headship," it's all on him now to make decisions and financially support this family 100%, unless Jilly matures a bit.

46 minutes ago, Marigold said:

She was pregnant when the Vile Josh news splashed her private situation all over the news.  The Megyn Kelly interveiw which we all suspect that Jim Bob "suggested".  Then a first baby, then moving to CA, then Josh is in the news AGAIN so that reopened more wounds and AGAIN put Jill in the spotlight, then possible crime in CA, then she hates it.  Being a victim/survivor of a sexual crime, Jill is probably VERY scared in CA.  Derick has not factored that in to his life plan. 

Maybe CA is not the place for JIll right now.  When they were courting and engaged, she was OK with being a missionary wife.  That was way before the Vile Josh news came out and forced Jill to "unrepress" things that she deeply repressed for years.  I imagine she is dealing with a lot with no support whatsoever. 

Derick, things have changed for Jill.  Maybe she needs to be home for a while, get some counseling and  heal up emotionally. 

Except the sexual crime committed against her took place in her own home, NOT in Danger America or any other "scary" place.

Edited by DangerousMinds
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7 minutes ago, DangerousMinds said:

But is she going to step up and take some responsibility in this marriage? Derrick "met" a woman (girl) who said she had a heart for missions and goal of becoming a "midwife." And now he's found he has a life partner who is seemingly unable to contribute meaningfully to the marriage, or even express what she feels or wants. As the "headship," it's all on him now to make decisions and financially support this family 100%, unless Jilly matures a bit.

Except the sexual crime committed against her took place in her own home, NOT in Danger America or any other "scary" place.

That's my thought, she wanted to get married to the first one that showed some attention, getting to know someone via skype, while the whole family is looking on. She is telling him that she wants to serve on the mission field, while he is traipsing all over the hills of Timbukto or wherever he was. Except her missions were 2 week vacations with the whole family, going out as a group of 100. He thought she wanted to serve, she just wanted a husband. She can thank her daddy for that. 

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Jill gave it a shot, but it's clearly not for her. Ten months is better than how long Derick lasted at 9-5 white collar Walmart accounting. She clearly fears becoming a victim of violent crime in Central America, Derick must know this because she basically never stops talking about it. Become missionaries in Provence, that's where Mittens Romney did his stint. They're only nominally catholic there! 

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I think she said she "hoped" her goals were the same as is, not that she wanted him to tell her what to think. She looked surprised by the question, almost like she wondered why he would ask it when they'd either already discussed them or why he would bring something that personal up in front of the cameras. Of course she's submissive to her husband, her family and religious beliefs have taught her that, but that doesn't mean that she keeps her opinions to herself. But I don't think Jill is one to make too big of a stink over anything either.

She seems to me to be very happy with the "mission" part of their time in CA, the actual engagement with the people there. But she seems to have been frightened by something that happened around her and is nervous because of it. Obviously she'd like to be someplace where she feels safer, but I don't get the impression that she's unhappy with a missionary life. She'd just prefer a safer environment, preferably with more reliable water.

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2 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I'm going to cut Derrick some slack here. When they first started courting, Jill sold herself as wanting to be a midwife in the mission field. Now of course plans change, things don't work out, the reality is different from the fantasy etc., but does Jill ever express her real feelings besides smiling and nodding whenever her headship opens his mouth? We saw them at dinner where Derrick asked Jill about her goals and her response was "the same as yours." If she isn't going to speak up for herself, somebody has to make the decisions. Derrick may be like a lot of guys where he's completely clueless on reading a woman's emotions, however he doesn't strike me as a cruel or abusive husband. These people just don't seem to communicate beyond a surface level of pleasantries and Bible quotes.

No, he can't read her mind and he is solely responsible for their financial well-being, even if they have a dozen (or more) kids. That has to be an incredible burden to bear. I wonder if he originally thought Jilly would actually use her education as a "midwife" to bring in a little income?

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3 hours ago, woodscommaelle said:

Changed my mind but basically that nickname is really fucking stupid. I hate it and Jill sounds like an idiot saying it.

That's how I felt about Jill saying car-o, before I understood that "el carro" is a valid articulation of car in Spanish.  I thought she sounded like a f'n idiot, even though the idiot was kinda me for not knowing that :)

Oh one other thing, I loved that Joy the Super Dolt said her food of choice would be Italian.  Fettuccine!  FU Interwebz. 

Jill totally! looks pregnant in the previews for next week. 

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On 10/19/2016 at 10:07 AM, flyingdi said:

I thought the grocery store was the most natural scene in the show.  If I came home from months in another country, I would certainly stock up on my Tastykakes, birch beer and chicken corn soup.

I think home for us is the same place! My list would look just like yours with the addition of some lebanon bologna.

Quote

I hope the special guest for next week's episode is an English teacher with a lot of patience to teach the Duggar clan proper English. If I hear another Duggar say special one more time, I will go screaming into the night. I gritted my teeth when Derick the college graduate use the word got wrong (when we got home.)

I'm going to need some help on this one. What would be grammatically correct? I use got this way all the time ;(

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5 hours ago, Marigold said:

 Maybe she needs to be home for a while, get some counseling and  heal up emotionally. 

The thing is, this is a Catch-22 for a Duggar. The family doesn't believe in counseling, and there's no way that I can see them actually supporting any real therapy or introspection or honest confrontations for Jill with anything in her past.

Being home would be an escape from whatever things are scaring her and maybe triggering her in CA. But her home is a toxic stew of denial and lies and shove-it-under-the-rug- and blame-the-victimness and the like. So that has tremendous downsides as well.

I have a hard time seeing a couple of years in full-on Duggardom doing anything but making psychological issues worse, actually, given the circumstances. Jill and Derick really are up a creek, seems to me.

And that makes the second young Duggar to marry also the second whose situation is now a mess that it's hard to see a way out of, whether the new young family stays in Tontitown or goes.

Then of course there's the frozen, burdened, middle-aged-looking non-married older Duggar kids, Jana and JD. Also trapped, although in a different way. Would be nice if somebody finally got a clue here. But of course there's no one to get the clue, really, and certainly no one to act on it.

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5 hours ago, Clemgo3165 said:

I think home for us is the same place! My list would look just like yours with the addition of some lebanon bologna.

I'm going to need some help on this one. What would be grammatically correct? I use got this way all the time ;(

I do so miss the lovely smell of burning tires from the factory when I am away from home.  Do you put potato chips right on your Lebanon bologna sandwich as most people I know do?

Edited by flyingdi
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The thing. I think for Jill things just got real over in CA. She probably came to the realization that D could possible killed over there. If that were to happen she probably doesnt have the sense to handle her shit such as calls, plane tickets, insurance, etc. For that I blame her damn parents and her husband. Girl literally would not know how to survive without her man. There are obviously some issues because she is out of danger now but still bursting into tears at a slight mention if danger. These poor people are seriously mentally broken

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Personally, I have no issues with the Duggars modesty, religious beliefs/biases/hypocrisy, courting ideas...etc. My qualm about the Duggars is the perpetual state of walking on egg shells. You can be modest but have an opinion. You can be super religious but maintain a voice. The egg walking kills personalities (Jana). In this episode, this poor girl was so checked out. 

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22 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I totally got Derick & Jill in the grocery store, I feel that way about my bed after being away for only a week.

I took the JB & M exchange differently and thought it was a kind of funny FU moment. Last time Michelle almost fell off her chair when Ben & Jessa held hands and now Michelle is shrugging off how touchy feely Jing & Jer are. At least they mentioned the difference.

Jessa & Ben with 2 kids ... Ben is going to have to drop out of school, quit the toilet business, and like other posters said, Hannie will have to move in and share a bedroom with Spurge & baby Salome-Mary Ella.

Ha!  This cracked me up.

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It depends on what Derick was saying when it comes to got and get. If I remember correctly, Derick was saying when I got home, I will take a shower, drink fresh water or something close. Got is the past tense for get. He should have said when I get home, I will take a shower and drink fresh water. The past tense locates a past event at a specific point in time. Derick was not home yet when he said when I got home, I will take a shower..... In other words, the event was not a past event at a specific point in time.  If he would have said I took a shower when I got home, he would have been correct.

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7 hours ago, Kokapetl said:

I feel sorry for Jill. Derick is such an insensitive dickhead. She hates Central America with its non flushable toilet paper and heat and dirty water and all the rest, but above all she clearly fears being a victim of crime. She cries thinking about it, don't make her go back. 

Just think if she had had a normal upbringing how much more she would get out of being far away from the clan.  I don't feel sorry for her at all.  She is not intellectually curious about anything.   She has been an adult for many years and if she is still clinging to family and TTH and hasn't done a thing to broaden her horizons that is on her.  And seriously, if you hate it THAT much quite pussy footing around it with Derick and say headship or not, I am NOT going back to Danger America.  Sadly I think she would be as freaked if she moved to my neck of the woods (safe but liberal Santa Barbara).  

Someone mentioned Hanni's picked at face  (haven't watched yet, headship has been home, damn it headship!!).  Wondering if the picking is from anxiety?

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1 hour ago, flyingdi said:

I do so miss the lovely smell of burning tires from the factory when I am away from home.  Do you put potato chips right on you Lebanon belongs sandwich as most people I know do?

Absolutely!

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On 10/19/2016 at 11:29 AM, louannems said:

In next week's preview, I saw Anna in a bright yellow maternity top.  To me, she most definitely appears pregnant.

So in each episode, JB delights us in a different neon colored Habitat shirt.

At the airport, JB and Michelle didn't match (gasp), but they both made sure to stand out on camera.  He wore bright, metallic purple, she in marigold yellow.

Why can't just one person or couple pick up people at the airport?  Why does the whole damn family need to travel in a half dozen vans?

.........and "sold at an auction" jail house prisoner vans, at that!

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46 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

It depends on what Derick was saying when it comes to got and get. If I remember correctly, Derick was saying when I got home, I will take a shower, drink fresh water or something close. Got is the past tense for get. He should have said when I get home, I will take a shower and drink fresh water. The past tense locates a past event at a specific point in time. Derick was not home yet when he said when I got home, I will take a shower..... In other words, the event was not a past event at a specific point in time.  If he would have said I took a shower when I got home, he would have been correct.

Whenever I got home . . . .

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8 hours ago, Marigold said:

She was pregnant when the Vile Josh news splashed her private situation all over the news.  The Megyn Kelly interveiw which we all suspect that Jim Bob "suggested".  Then a first baby, then moving to CA, then Josh is in the news AGAIN so that reopened more wounds and AGAIN put Jill in the spotlight, then possible crime in CA, then she hates it.  Being a victim/survivor of a sexual crime, Jill is probably VERY scared in CA.  Derick has not factored that in to his life plan. 

Maybe CA is not the place for JIll right now.  When they were courting and engaged, she was OK with being a missionary wife.  That was way before the Vile Josh news came out and forced Jill to "unrepress" things that she deeply repressed for years.  I imagine she is dealing with a lot with no support whatsoever. 

Derick, things have changed for Jill.  Maybe she needs to be home for a while, get some counseling and  heal up emotionally. 

JESSA was pregnant in the Megyn Kelly interview. IIRC, it was June, so she would have been about 5 months gone (about where she is now). Izzy was an infant when Joshgate broke, about 2 months old. 

FWIW, she wouldn't last 5 minutes where I live, even though it's a high rent part of the city. There was a home invasion in the super ritzy part of town the other day. We used to be the murder captiol of the US before Detroit snatched our crown. Crime happens everywhere, honey. #OaktownForever #Iwentoutat9lastnightwithoutachaperone

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1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

JESSA was pregnant in the Megyn Kelly interview. IIRC, it was June, so she would have been about 5 months gone (about where she is now). Izzy was an infant when Joshgate broke, about 2 months old. 

 

That's right.  Even worse.  Post partum and dealing with such crap as Josh. 

I don't like Jill but I do feel sorry for the mess with Josh. No one deserves that. 

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10 minutes ago, SongbirdHollow said:

IIRC, she breastfeeds until the baby refuses to nurse, which is because she's pregnant again and the taste of the milk changes. Her explanation, not mine.

I thought it was at the 6 month mark ~ that is when she hands off her latest blessing to their buddy ...

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Or, as she explained on the Redneck Waterslide episode, Jordyn weaned herself because Mechelle's milk becomes "sour" or somesuch when she gets knocked up. This was in June, Josie originally due in March. Jordyn was barely 6 months old at the announcement. Also don't forget that Jessa BRAGGED that she and Jinger are 13 months apart. Mechelle had a few of these, so she didn't even make it to six months nursing. 

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I have experienced that with my pregnancies and breastfeeding.  The milk gets sour and nursing pretty much stops. It's a common thing. 

After that, who knows what Michelle is rambling about.  It's like Charlie Brown's teacher... WAWAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA.  Sometimes there is a nuggest of clarity and then most times we are back to WAWAWAWAWAWAWAWA.

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Speaking of anxiety, does anyone remember the episode when all the kids were sitting in a circle on the floor?  They were trying to choose a name for Jordyn.  One of the Howlers chose Juicy Fruit!  Anyway, young Joy had a nervous twitch. Her face was not at all cute with that twitch going on.

As someone who was raised in a very strict, extremely patriarchal family, I always felt on edge, growing up.  I had one nervous twitch after another.

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5 hours ago, bigskygirl said:

It depends on what Derick was saying when it comes to got and get. If I remember correctly, Derick was saying when I got home, I will take a shower, drink fresh water or something close. Got is the past tense for get. He should have said when I get home, I will take a shower and drink fresh water. The past tense locates a past event at a specific point in time. Derick was not home yet when he said when I got home, I will take a shower..... In other words, the event was not a past event at a specific point in time.  If he would have said I took a shower when I got home, he would have been correct.

Thanks. These are the things that you miss when you don't watch. ha. Anyway, wow, that's interesting. I wonder whether that could be another Arkansa-ism, like the "whenever" strangeness.

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I do think it is the re-enactment that is messing with a lot of the dialogue.  These people don't converse very much anyway, just pray and speak biblically to one another, so their communication skills suck.  

 

Jill seemed very nervous in CA with the women meeting in her house who had problems with their husbands being unfaithful or beating them or whatever.  And gee, Jill, these were your converts, I believe.  One would think their conversions from catholicism would have made things better, and all your yacking about godliness got them nowhere.  Wonder if that has occurred to her.

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7 hours ago, Micks Picks said:

I do think it is the re-enactment that is messing with a lot of the dialogue.  These people don't converse very much anyway, just pray and speak biblically to one another, so their communication skills suck.  

 

Jill seemed very nervous in CA with the women meeting in her house who had problems with their husbands being unfaithful or beating them or whatever.  And gee, Jill, these were your converts, I believe.  One would think their conversions from catholicism would have made things better, and all your yacking about godliness got them nowhere.  Wonder if that has occurred to her.

There's always the chance that while the women were converts their husbands were not. And while it's likely that whatever dynamics there were between them would have continued whatever religion (or lack thereof) they practiced, the wives may have been more vulnerable to conversion in the first place, hoping that things would magically get better. But, of course, with conversion also comes the mindset that prayer solves everything, except when it doesn't, in which case either you are not praying hard enough, or it's God's will, and He is either answering your prayer with "no" or "wait". 

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8 hours ago, Micks Picks said:

I do think it is the re-enactment that is messing with a lot of the dialogue.  These people don't converse very much anyway, just pray and speak biblically to one another, so their communication skills suck.  

The Kardashians have an odd phrasing (I think the use present tense to discuss past events) when they do their talking heads, but it is consistent across the board.

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