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David T. Cole

My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding

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Clearly they're running out of 'gypsies' to feature on this thing... a 14 year-old rodeo contestant with overly involved twin brothers? Yawn.

 

Wow - gypsy mamas be crazy. Is it normal for a girl to have to ask a mother to marry her son? Whaaaa? I honestly wonder if they tell these people that they can earn a bonus if they act completely batshit.

 

Highlights:

  • Horrifying neon orange tux that comes in what I can only assume is a sealed costume package?
  • Above-mentioned tux paired with greasy hair and a dirty old baseball cap (what happened to all the gypsy boys obsessed with their hair?)
  • Patrick Swayze references and tattoo

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Where do I begin? I suppose Crazy Swayze aka PeeWee. How in the world do you end up with not one but two horrible nicknames? Oh yeah, you encourage them and get tattoos of Patrick Swayze's headstone. Aside from marrying a 21 year old he met on the internet without ever seeing her in person before the wedding, he seemed like a nice guy. Then again, the bar has been set really low by this show. I expect most gypsy men who agree to be shown on camera to be ignorant assholes. In comparison, Crazy Swayze seems relatively normal. You know, for a guy with a tattoo of Patrick Swayze's headstone on his chest.

 

So was Swayze being delusional/romantic by not wanting to meet Brittany until their wedding day? Or is he afraid that if she sees him in person, she will change her mind? Between the color andthe ruffled shirt, that orange tuxedo was horrifying. And telling Brittany that her wedding dress had to have orange was terrible! I mean, I love color but I wasn't about to have a brightly colored wedding gown. I felt bad that she had such trouble walking because she's never worn high heels before. Why on earth were the groomsmen all wearing pastel suits? And if their mishmash of colors wasn't bad enough, three of them had to accessorize with baseball caps. Classy!

 

Swayze's mom is an abusive asshole. You should not be chasing your 27 year old son and trying to smack him. While I understand being apprehensive about your child marrying someone he has never met in person, saying that you will NEVER like her before you have even met her is a dick move. She clearly had no intention of ever giving Cassity a chance. And that's what really annoys me about many of the gypsies on these shows - they complain about gorgers judging them for being gypsies and being prejudiced but so many of them clearly have nothing but contempt and disdain for non-gypsies. They're such hypocrites - those people are so horrible for judging me and making assumptions about me but it's totally okay for me to do it!

 

Anyway, his mom is a crazy bitch. When she was screaming at him about being an embarrassment, it was clear that this woman has no self awareness at all. When she later attacked Brittany, it was just ridiculous. First of all, Brittany was not to blame for Swayze saying that Lottie was an embarrassment. She wasn't even there when it happened. Secondly, when Lottie asked Brittany if Swayze tought Brittany's family was embarrassing, all I could think was well, probably not since they're not the ones screaming and making a scene at a wedding.

 

Interesting that at the beginning of the episode, the narrator said Brittany was a single mom and showed her with one kid, but later in the episode one of the groomsmen said that Brittany had two kids and Swayze had one kid. Despite this, we never saw Brittany's second kid or Swayze's kid. Hopefully it's because the other parents wouldn't sign a release for their kids to appear on camera.

 

The twins! Who in the hell names their kids Brittain and Bryceton? Those aren't names! I thought their sister got off easy until I saw that her name was spelled Cassity. Good lord. I felt bad for her because her brothers would not STFU while she was trying to practice. Quit hassling her and let her practice! I do feel bad for her brothers though. It's going to be rough for them when they realize that they're gay.

 

This show is so fake though. The brothers can't even keep their stories straight. First they say they didn't know Cassity snuck out of the house to go to a party. Then the next day they say that they told her not to go to that "get together" and she didn't listen. To be fair, I think only of the brothers was being a bossy drama queen but I couldn't be bothered to keep track of their outfits so I could tell them apart. But it did seem like one of them was doing 95% of the complaining and drama queening while the other one mostly just sat there. On a shallow note, I hate their Bieber hair.

 

I couldn't decide if it was sad or funny that the show kept saying that Cassity was competing to win a college scholarship and then they showed her with $54 cash and the voiceover lady said she was one step closer to a college scholarship. They made it sound like the rodeo competition had a scholarship as a grand prize, not that they were going to hand over a fistful of small bills.

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A bride-to-be has a couple of suitors whilst a teen attempts to become the first gypsy supermodel.

 

The one positive thing about Tara's wedding is that her family has no issue with her marrying a non-gypsy.  But Tara and Alex seem like immature idiots who should not be getting married. Great that they've been together for five years (since they were 16) but the way they talk about each other is terrible. He says she has big boobs (pro) but he hates her mouth because she never shuts up (con). She says that he has her name tattooed on him in three different places so that everyone knows who he belongs to (ugh, the immature possessiveness) and that she can make him do whatever she wants. Newsflash: when you are compatible and you love each other, you never have to MAKE the other person do anything.

 

I loved how she said that she was caught in a triangle and she didn't know how to get out. Yes, "caught" because she had nothing to do with creating this triangle and putting herself right in the middle. As to how to get yourself out of it, that's simple. Pick one person. Or convince them to be brother-husbands. Then she had the nerve to act all put out that Alex "made" her delete her facebook account and say that she doesn't want someone telling her what to do because SHE wants to be the one telling him what to do. Talk about wanting to have your cake and eat it too! First of all, no one can actually MAKE you delete your facebook account or do anything if you don't want to. But secondly, how can you be surprised that your fiance is upset that you are CHEATING on him? Gah. She created this entire situation by seeking out a second relationship but she refuses to take any responsibility. Nope, it's Alex being bossy and controlling. And it's the gorger boy who's "getting over on her" and she can't let that happen. Girl, you are the one who caused it to happen! Quit making it sound like this guy just swooped in out of nowhere and took advantage of you! It's pretty sad when your 16 year old sister is the one giving you sane relationship advice.

 

But Alex? Getting another Tara tattoo isn't the way to convince her that you really love her. The problem isn't convincing her that YOU love her. YOU didn't do anything wrong. YOU aren't the one who cheated. You are the one who got a janky looking zombie tattoo on your back. That thing was HIDEOUS. I know I shouldn't be surprised that the home tattoo guy isn't good at portraits. I was kind of surprised that he said he took her virginity. What happened to gypsy girls being so pure and saving themselves for marriage?

 

I'm so tired of Sondra Celli's declarations that this is the biggest dress EVER because she says it every damn week. I'm also sick of hearing how long and hard her little sweatshop laborers worked on each dress. That's your job. Regular wedding dresses take a long time to create too but you don't see everyone on Say Yes to the Dress discussing how many months it took to create their dresses. Wah, it took 14-16 girls working around the clock for two days to make Tara's dress and some of them had to come in at 6am? Considering that she ordered that dress before she spent two weeks fucking around with her new boyfriend Justin, that sounds like poor time management on Sondra Celli's part.

 

As for Kaelynn's temper tantrum, that's not gypsy drama. That's the kind of stupid drama you get from anyone who's immature. You know, like a 16 year old girl. Thank goodness that Tara had the right attitude and didn't waste time begging her sister to walk her down the aisle. I knew when Kaelynn was sitting around pouting, she would regret being a brat and not being part of her sister's wedding. I just didn't think she would come to that realization the same day.

 

Part of me thinks it's interesting to see a gypsy girl whose goal isn't to get married, have babies, and clean the house but part of me thinks that Trouble is doing this for two reasons: to be a fame whore and to irritate her mother. At the beginning, her mom didn't seem any more overprotective than many parents would be about their daughters showing their boobs at a photo shoot, but then she had to throw in that it's her job to protect her from the gorjers. Right. Because having non gypsies see her boobs is worse than gypsies seeing her boobs. It was interesting to hear her mom say that she was told non gypsy men would beat them and murder them and lure them away from their families. You know, as opposed to the gypsy men who beat their wives and lure them off to roam around so they don't see their families.

 

I'm also not clear how her mom thinks it's okay for Trouble to stand on the street in a bra shaking her business in front of non-gypsies for money. Trouble sure seems like a quitter though. She spent one afternoon busking and when she found out she hadn't made the $200 she needed to fly to New York, she just gave up. Never considered that maybe she could go out a second day and make some more money?

 

If she doesn't like flying or rejection, then modeling is not the career for her. I don't know why her mom said their trip was only two days. Did they have something pressing to do back home? If you spent the money on two plane tickets, you might as well take the time to pound the pavement and hit every ageny you can while you are there!

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Yeah, I thought the 1 kid/2 kids thing was interesting. I find that they often have trouble keeping their stories straight on this show! 

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That tattoo....... I'm surprised I didn't have nightmares! Alex and Tara were quite the pair.

 

It always cracks me up how these made-for-TV weddings have like 8 guests attending!

 

Ugh, yeah, Trouble having a huge breakdown after 1 day of ridiculous street dancing was so silly. And sorry, hon - generally models need to fly around the world to their jobs. She really hasn't thought this through!

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Two gypsy sweethearts finally plan their long awaited wedding despite their mother’s disapproval. But with the grudge now spreading to other family members, can their feud ever be put to rest? Later, an ex-con gypsy mom tries to put her past behind her.

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The annual masquerade ball in Atlantic City attracts four teens who are looking for love.

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Oh, Amanda. This relationship has so many things going against it. You got knocked up two months after you started dating so you decided that was a good reason to get married. Your fiance didn't really get excited about the pregnancy until he found out it was a boy. In fact, he was so excited that he couldn't go to work the next day because he had partied so much the night before celebrating the fact that his technical bastard had a penis.

 

His crazy ex-girlfriend is just an added bonus to their relationship. Felicia has a lot of nerve saying that Amanda is desperate. Really, Felicia? It's not the crazy obsessed ex who is desperate? And your big one up on the woman who is going to marry your ex is that you had "professional" pictures taken (in your house with Donald wearing a zip up hoodie) for your Christmas card but Amanda hasn't? I fear for that horse. I'm afraid that Donald and Amanda are going to wake up with a horse head in their bed.

 

Amanda is stupid for thinking that Donald would go to Sondra Celli without her and NOT order a trashy gypsy wedding dress. There's no way he would get a classy elegant gown. Rhinestones, flowers, ruffles, and any other tacky crap a 13 year old girl would want. I hate that these dresses still aren't done a week before the wedding. I also hated that the narrator said Amanda was "forced" to let Donald design her dress. So what if you can't fly to Boston? Drive to David's Bridal or somewhere within 100 miles and pick out your own damn dress! You shouldn't be sitting in the makeup chair the morning of your wedding crying because you hope your wedding dress won't be a tacky piece of crap. All those mirrored pieces glued onto the bodice and skirt were HIDEOUS. I hated the striped skirt and those gigantic roses. But she "transferred" into a princess!

 

Hee, I giggled every time he called her Sandra instead of Sondra. His rhinestone covered suit and shoes were so tacky. I loved that his brother was trying to hard to rein in his big blingy dress request. I wonder what his parents and family think about him marrying a gorger who is 9 years older and already has kids.

 

Donald explaining his expectations of his future wife were gag inducing. Does she know how to cook? Can she do laundry? When he said he dated a girl who didn't know how to do laundry and then said, "What do I need you for? To look pretty on my arm?" Nope, he just needs a maid/mommy substitute who waits on him hand and foot. I find it laughable when these men complain about a woman not knowing how to do something (laundry) that he doesn't know how to do either.

 

But what else do you expect from a man who walks into the kitchen while she's going the dishes to tell her that he and the kids want some cookies. Dude, you're already in the kitchen. Would it kill you to open the cabinet and get out the box of cookies yourself? This is the same dick whose attitude about his crazy ex is to tell his fiancée to talk to Felicia about it herself. Way to avoid responsibility AND instigate a fight between the pregnant mother of your child and your ex.

 

The boxing ring sounded like a tacky terrible idea. Yes, let's give a bunch of drunk idiots a location to punch each other at a wedding.

 

And oh crap, Jackie Dee again? Part of me is glad that at least Dovie and Harry aren't pushing her to get married at 16, but the other part of me is like ugh, you famewhores, quit trying to live vicariously through your kid! She doesn't seem to be taking her "singing" "career" seriously at all. She can't even bring herself to sing warmup scales during her voice lessons. I was cracking up at her suitcase. She's going to the showcase for a few days and she packed like 10 different pairs of jean shorts. Dovie wearing that t-shirt with Jackie's name and picture was hilarious.

 

Also hilarious: the narrator describing Jackie's performance as "a big hit." That girl is a terrible singer. She's consistently flat and has no stage presence. And what was with the random girl standing on the stage with her clapping? The other two girls they showed weren't anything special but Jackie was by far the worst of the lot. What was with the one legged jeans? I know she said it was half trashy and half classy, but no. All tacky.

 

Luke is no prize. His weird flat voice was creepy. I'm glad that Jackie decided not to run off with him. Even though she's not a good singer, I'd rather see her keep working at that instead of running off so she can cook, clean, and squeeze out babies at the ripe old age of 16.

 

Felicia and Jackie both need to hired better photographers. Just beacuse someone buys a DSLR at Cost Co doesn't make them a professional photographer.

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A gorger girl gets herself ready to marry a Romany man, but his mother doesn't approve of the marriage.

Heh, this episode description works for half of the marriages on this show.

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I do not know how these people call each other by these ridiculous names with a straight face: Dovie, Nukkie, Pookie, Heifer, Miffy, good lord.

 

Normally I am not a fan of the whole attitude that the bride should get to do whatever she wants just because it's "her day," but I do feel that the bride should get to choose her maid(s) of honor and bridesmaids without anyone pitching a fit. I get that Dallas wanted to be her sister's maid of honor, but that doesn't mean you get to be a bitch and say you aren't going just because Nukkie is also having her future sister in law as a maid of honor. Besides, how much time has Dallas spent with Nukkie in the last two years? I would guess Nukkie is much closer with Jackie Dee so Dallas should just be happy she was in the bridal party at all. Anyone who had such a self-centered attitude about MY wedding would be out of the bridal party entirely. When Dallas gets married she can do whatever the hell she wants, but it's not her place to make demands regarding her sister's wedding. Talk about entitled and bratty.

 

When one of the Stanleys (I don't know if it was Dallas or Mellie or someone else) asked Nukkie if she knew the difference between a bridesmaid and a maid of honor, I just rolled my eyes. Do any of them know the difference? Considering that the maid of honor is supposed to help the bride, it seems fitting that Jackie was the maid of honor since we saw her with Nukkie through the episode and all we saw Dallas doing was getting her nails done and talking about how she was going to be a bitch at the wedding. Really helpful!

 

Hahahaha, quote of the episode goes to Nettie saying, "I'm not a suck ass person. It ain't in me to suck no one's ass." But this is someone whose Facebook profile says that she has nine baby's. I swear, watching this show hurts my brain from all the incorrect grammar. Heh, I did appreciate Nettie disputing Mellie's claim that being pregnant is what made her a bitch. "I had ten pregnancies. It doesn't make you a bitch."

 

Apparently everything is a competition with these people since Mellie feels she must let Jackie know that Nukkie is, in fact, NOT closer to her. I can't believe she had the nerve to be upset that Jackie arrived at the wedding with Nukkie. You know who gets to arrive at the wedding with the bride? Whoever helped her get ready. If you weren't in her hotel room helping her get dressed, do you really think you're going to be in the same car with her? I know it's normal for the entire bridal party to arrive together, but it's not offensive if they don't. CALM THE HELL DOWN, MELLIE. And those girls couldn't keep their shoes on for the entire wedding ceremony? One of them was holding her shoes during the recessional. Classy!

 

Part of me likes that Nukkie didn't want a traditional poofy gypsy wedding gown, but her wedding dress with the tight bodice and the cutouts was not any better (and it looked almost exactly like Mellie's - I guess at least Nukkie's isn't leopard print which is an improvement).The train being attached with a velcro skirt cracked me up.

 

And Pookie's wedding outfit! A vest without a shirt - hahaha! Is that better or worse than the tacky rhinestone covered outfit the groom wore in the previous episode? And who was the kid who walked her up the aisle? He looked like he was wearing his dad's shirt. Could they not buy this kid a shirt that fit him properly? I was laughing my ass off that he was so young but already had his shirt unbuttoned almost to his belly button. Gotta train 'em young, right?

 

Nettie's gigantic bling heart necklace looked like something a six year old would want. Good lord. I wish Dovie would ditch her 1987 hairdo. I did not need to see Jackie and Dallas twerking.

 

I love that Nettie's high moral standards think 14 is too young to get married but 16 is okay. You're not old enough to vote or drink alcohol, but by all means, get married and start squeezing out kids! I will say that Nukkie and Pookie being together for two years before getting married (and living under the same roof at Dovie's house, hence seeing each other a lot) means their marriage has a lot more promise than some of the other teenagers we've seen get married on this show who have only met in person once or twice.

 

How does Heifer's mom think that being baptized is going to fix anything? Baptized or not, this girl needs to change her behavior. You want to repent? Try getting a fucking job and paying back that old woman the $23K that you STOLE from her. I can't imagine being 25 with five kids. Good lord. And who goes to apologize wearing an outfit like that? I don't know what she said about her aunt on Facebook, but this woman fed, clothed, and housed her five children the entire time she was in jail. The least she could do is not talk smack about her online.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Wow, so Alyssa and Lacy have been together for 6 years. She's 22 and he's 24, so they've been together since she was 16 and he was 18. I will give them credit for being together so long. I was cracking up at the Elvis statue right behind Lacy during his talking head interview. He looks a little rough for 24. I actually thought he was in his mid-30s. I got a little creeped out whne he said, "I haven't loved another woman the way I love Alyssa. Besides my mother." Really? I gotta say that the way I love Mr. EB is REALLY different from the way I love my parents.

 

Isn't Lacy's mom the same one we saw earlier this season who was opposed to her other son's fiance? Or am I thinking of some other gypsy mother who thought her son's fiance wasn't good enough for him? How does she know that Alyssa has cheated on him 12, 13, 14 times? Was she there videotaping each encounter? Ha, but I did laugh when the narrator dramatically said that Alyssa has been faithful to Lacy for "over a year."

 

Lacy did not win any points when he sat in the same room listening to his mom talk shit about his fiancee. Whatever issues a couple has, you should never sit silently while your parents say rude things about your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance(e)/spouse.

 

They said they have two kids together, but when they went to dinner, there were three kids with them. Is one of them from her cheating? I wonder if the youngest one is his and her pregnancy is what motivated them to recommit to each other.

 

If Lacy is so suspicious that he's calling her while she's out, then this relationship is doomed. Either trust her or end the relationship. Another huge warning sign was him saying that he wants her to be like his mom and wash his clothes and take care of him and her saying that he's whipped because she got him to stay home and watch the kids for a few hours. If she doesn't want to be a traditional gypsy wife, then she shouldn't marry him. And if he knows that she isn't like that, he shouldn't marry her.

 

That was the saddest bachelorette party I've ever seen. A bride to be and two friends in a motel room with a stripper? Yeah.

 

Alyssa was seeking advice from Nettie on how to stay faithful? It's actually really easy: don't hook up with other dudes.

 

I hated how dramatic and exploitive they were with the crash footage and the totaled car and the sound effects. TLC, this girl was in a car crash. Try to be a little respectful. Just a little bit.

 

Speaking of respectful, Lacy's cousin was SO RUDE to yell, "I had her first," during the wedding. I don't care how many times she has cheated on Lacy. If you aren't going to be respectful and supportive of their marriage, then don't come to the wedding. But what do you expect from a guy named Roach?

 

I'm glad he finally stood up for his wife and their relationship and kicked his asshole relatives out. You can't have a happy relationship if one person's family is always saying mean rude things. He definitely won major points from me for that.

 

Henry has a lot of nerve to go on tv and admit that he scammed people because he's a gypsy and that's what they do. Yikes. And then he told Kamy's mom that he "overcharged people." But I was interested in his relationship with Kamy. I know on the British show, they had at least one couple that was Romnichal/Irish traveler which I find more interesting than the Romnichal/gorger couples we keep getting on the American show. I was hoping that Kamy and Henry would talk a lot more about the differences between their two gypsy cultures.

 

My parents are very traditional, but Mr. EB did not ask their permission before we decided to get married. If he had, I would have been really annoyed. I don't think anyone should have any say in who I marry but me. I know it's a traditional/cultural thing but it goes both ways. Parents need to also respect that their children are not going to share all of their beliefs and not get their panties in a bunch when they do things their own way. I had only one very minor traditional thing at my wedding because I didn't want to do the other stuff. My cousin and his sister, on the other hand, did every last traditional/cultural thing at their weddings and during their engagements. My cousin told me that he didn't even know about half of these traditions until he got engaged and his parents started telling him he had to do all this stuff (he's the oldest cousin in our generation so he was the first of all of us to get married so the few family weddings he attended were one he was too young to remember most of it).

 

Dustin has some kind of teenaged Napoleon syndrome. This obsession with "Henry has to show more respect" is ridiculous. What he really wants is for Henry to kiss his ass. Get over yourself - and lose the lame Bieber hair while you're at it. If Kamy knew that Henry needed to bring almond champagne, she should have told him long before he left for California. He could have looked online ahead of time and either ordered it ahead of time or found a place to buy it on the way to California. But waiting until he was already halfway across the country was really inconsiderate. Dustin was a ltitle punk - he acted all offended that Henry wasn't being respectful enough but he refused to respect Henry's Romnichal tradition with the dollar bill. Typical self righteous hypocrite. But $1000 in cash makes everything better! Man, what a punk.

 

Interesting that Kamy's parents were an Irish/Romney couple too. I really hate when people make the assumption that because something happened to them, it will happen to someone else in the same situation. My aunt was so adamant that I was making a huge mistake to move in with my boyfriend while he was in law school because she moved in with her boyfriend when he was in law school and then dumped her. She said before he broke up with her, he was always at school studying and never had time for her so she was sad and lonely and living in a city where she didn't know anyone. I told her that it sucks it happened to her, but it doesn't happen to everyone. My boyfriend and I are now happily married and we actually had no issues while he was in school. I get that she was concerned and it was coming from a place of love, but it seems ludicrous to assume that because something happened under one set of circumstances, the same thing will happen to EVERYONE ELSE. Did Kamy's mother consider the possibility that maybe she married a jerk who also happened to be a Romnichal?

 

Hahaha, I was cracking up at Henry and Kamy's mom on their flip phones. I hope those were provided by TLC and not their real phones. I liked that Kamy was very firm in telling her mom that she and Dustin should let Henry have a chance to talk to them before being so angry at him.

 

I wish that Henry and Kamy had met in person at least once before getting married. Normally I would say if she could fly from California to Boston to see her dress, she could fly to Kentucky to meet her fiance but I know that TLC is the one who paid for that plane ticket to Boston.

 

Her dress was so horrible. It looked like Sondra Celli threw every ugly piece of shit in her shop at some fabric and then glued it down. The feathers, the tulle, the giant pink ruffle, the rhinestone guns, just ugh. And that lime green color was so terrible. But Kamy loved it so I guess Sondra did a great job fulfilling her (tacky) dream. I laughed so hard at Kamy's mom saying that this dress was not as out there as a Romnichal dress and that it was classy. Heh, I guess it's all relative but in my eyes there was no way that dress was classy. I guess Sondra didn't want to fly all the way to California to deliver Kamy's dress. I kind of wish they had shown Kamy at the airport checking this gigantic box and then freaking out that they would lose it.

 

To be fair, Kamy seemed very mature and even tempered so I didn't expect drama from her. She was very pleasant and positive and happy about everything. What a nice change from some of the people we've seen on this show. I think it helps that she isn't a high school student.

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One of the Smalls has called Kamey out claiming that she is not a gypsy of any kind.  She has another boyfriend who brought that little shit brother of her's some Almond Champagne. This is from Kamy's own FB account.  Yep, girlfriend has a new boyfriend,  Almond Champagne is from Wilson Creek Winery and is sold at Trader Joe's, CVS, Target, WalMart, etc.   Can't see this as being a tradition for the Irish Travelers as this product is not that old.  

This show has become trash.  Seems that most of the couples that get "married" on this show are hooked up with a different person by the time their episode airs.  Just another fake show from The Lying Channel.

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Ha, so Kristen has been upgraded to "professional model" by the narrator after one whole trip to NYC in a previous episode? I could not take her boyfriend Trouble seriously. I mean, first of all, his name. Secondly, when you wear one of those sleeveless t-shirts with the sides completely open, just no. The fact that he stopped contacting her once he found out that her modeling contract would keep her in Nashville shows how immature he is. You couldn't, you know, talk about it like an adult? Nope, just give her the silent treatment! Her sister had very practical advice about it: Is that the kind of relationship you want to be in?

I like that both Kristen's mom and sister are encouraging her to pursue a career instead of telling her she's an old maid at 19 and needs to get married right away. Good for her for signing that contract without considering that her boyfriend lives 800 miles away. Never make a decision based on a guy you've only been talking to for a month!

I laughed and rolled my eyes when Crazy Swayze showed up to give Trouble "dance lessons." Hahaha, "look into my eyes." How was it okay for Kristen to stay with Trouble in New Jersey? Wouldn't that automatically make her a dirty girl? I don't know if it was editing or Kristen changing her story, but she and her family mentioned her staying in New Jersey for two days, a week, or two weeks at different times, I can't say I was disappointed when Trouble broke it off. He got that offended by stuff that Kristen herself didn't say. Talk about thin skin. Between that and the way he gave her the silent treatment after he found out about her modeling contract, she's better off not being with such an immature guy. She can do way better.

 

Why were Kristen and Trouble acting like they didn't know what the other looked like? They met online so haven't they seen each other's pictures on Facebook? Texted pictures? Facetimed/Skyped? Swayze was really obnoxious picking up so many girls and swinging them around. I'm surprised that he was allowed to do that without any of the girls' parents telling him to behave himself.  Compare that to Kristen and Trouble grinding against each other and Daniela's mom saying that she couldn't hold hands with a boy to dance. Obviously these parents all have different ideas of what is considered unclean.

Daniela is only 14 so she doesn't need to be looking for a husband already! Her mother's decision to keep her daughter ignorant about boys seems like a terrible choice. Daniela can know about boys and still remain a virgin. See what happens when you are way too overprotective? Your kid sneaks around behind your back! But I loved her mom checking out Lance's Facebook page.

Daniela's dress was an eye-searing shade of pink but at least her boobs weren't popping out. I think that's about as demure as Sondra Celli gets (no boobs popping out = conservative). It seemed like the light up shoes were waste on a floor length gown though. I felt bad for her that Lance just got back together with his ex and didn't show up to the ball without bothering to tell Daniela ahead of time. But better to find out what a jerk he is now! She was acting like a typical 14 year old brat with her mother, but that is exactly why she is too young to get married. Sure, she's allowed to get upset about being dumped and stood up on the same night, but complaining about the "stupid door" because she's in a bad mood just says to me that she isn't emotionally mature enough to make a lifelong commitment to any guy yet.

Kaylene made me so sad. She is a natural at cleaning the house? She's only known her dad was a Romnichal for six months but suddenly that's her identity and she wants to go to the gypsy ball to find a husband? I love that her mom said it takes two years to get to know someone. If only Kaylene would listen to that very solid advice. Her mom seemed pretty supportive and level headed, so I felt bad that I hated her multi-colored hair so much.

Kaylene's dress was so awful. Random feathers in the back, those huge plastic "rhinestones" on the shoulder and bodice, that hideous fascinator in her hair, the tutu. But Swayze was so rude to her. At least his friend had the manners to apologize. Calling someone a liar about two seconds after you meet is just rude.

Part of me thought it was cute that Evelyn was learning these dances, but I was kind of laughing because based on what I've seen at gypsy wedding receptions, they limit their dancing to the booty shaking and body rolls. She kept saying the guy she knew that the guy she met at the ball was the one for her because "he's so handsome." I know attraction is important but you want to maybe find out if he's gainfully employed, abusive, alcoholic, etc. before you decide he's the one for you?

Last season, they made such a big deal about how difficult it was for gypsies to book venues for weddings and parties but apparently they had no problem renting the Atlantic City convention center! It never fails to simultaneously amuse and annoy me that the girls go through all this trouble to get dressed up in extravagant gowns and the guys show up in t-shirts, acid washed jeans, sideways trucker hats, vests with no shirts underneath, etc.

 

I find it weird that TLC randomly decides when to use subtitles for particular sentences when the people on this show talk. I appreciate it when they don't talk loudly, mumble, there's a lot of background noise, etc. but sometimes they subtitle people who I can hear without a problem.

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The inconstancy in the show drives me nuts. First her name was Trouble, then she is dating someone named Trouble. Also, didn't "Crazy Swayze" get married? Where was his wife at the ball? It certainly didn't look like he was still married. Are we just supposed to forget all previous shows and pretend we've never seen these people before?

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I have a theory (that I am making up as I type this) that maybe the inconsistency is supposed to take our attention away from the near-imbreeding a lot of the couples seem to practice.

It is possible that Crazy Swayze's marriage didn't last! Wasn't Mellie separated after 3 days or something supershort?

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Last season, they made such a big deal about how difficult it was for gypsies to book venues for weddings and parties but apparently they had no problem renting the Atlantic City convention center!

 

A) TLC was booking it. B) The show tends to overplay the prejudice issue. Yes, it can happen, but its more with the Roma types who still have Romanian/Hungarian names and who look more like what a stereotypical "gypsy" looks like. The US just doesn't have the same issues that the British show has. Unless one of these people walks into a venue discussion with "I'm a gypsy!", their names and their appearance isn't going to immediately give it away. Most of the "Rumney" gypsies that the show features from West Virginia look well, Italian, with English names and fit it with the whole Appalachian crowd they live with. Even on the British show, the narrator neglects to mention that some of the dislike for the Irish Travelers is in part because the British just aren't all that keen on the Irish.

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When they first mentioned the ball was in Atlantic City I was intrigued. I was expecting the mother of all gypsy parties. What we got was a glorified family reunion at some crappy Sheraton. It's to the point now that I watch just to see how far they will take the bullcrap.

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Daniela's mother was telling her if people see her talking to a boy they'll think she's not clean. Cut to Daniela sitting in front of a messy looking counter complete with a roach crawling around on it. Something tells me these gypsies didn't inherit the clean gene.

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Finally watched this one. OMG where do I start. Amanda's dress was so bad I couldn't look it in the eye. That was far worse than Kamyelle's watermelon dress. The whole Felicia thing was so scripted, and ridiculous. Were we supposed to be afraid she'd show up and ruin the wedding?

 

So Cole is Brandy's son, I had wondered which sibling he belonged to since Nettie said in the first season that her nephew Cole lived with her. That was his girlfriend and daughter (the little red-headed girl) at Amanda's wedding planning lunch with friends.

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I caught a rerun of this show last night, and I'm actually kind of happy to know that this particular marriage might have already failed. All I could think about during the show was how pitiful everything was. Dustin meeting with his friends at the dime store luncheonette for their big confab about gypsy tradition was just . . .  sorry.   Henry chewing gum with his mouth open during his wedding ceremony . . .   and apparently having no shirts with sleeves or pants that aren't ragged . . .  I kept hoping during the show that the whole story was a setup. I think TLC may have finally found the bottom of the barrel. 

Edited by rur
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Isn't Lacy's mom the same one we saw earlier this season who was opposed to her other son's fiance?

 

ElectricBoogaloo, you mean there is another woman who you're confusing with Lacy's mother? OMG!  Please tell me there is only one of those out there!

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Finally watched this one. OMG where do I start. Amanda's dress was so bad I couldn't look it in the eye. That was far worse than Kamyelle's watermelon dress. The whole Felicia thing was so scripted, and ridiculous. Were we supposed to be afraid she'd show up and ruin the wedding?

 

So Cole is Brandy's son, I had wondered which sibling he belonged to since Nettie said in the first season that her nephew Cole lived with her. That was his girlfriend and daughter (the little red-headed girl) at Amanda's wedding planning lunch with friends.

I call it the "Ursula from the Little Mermaid" dress, all it needed was some tentacles.  

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I just watched My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding Christmas Edition. Ahhh show, how I have missed you. You are so much better than any of the American shows. I missed the overdone eyebrows, I missed people who actually name their youngest daughter “Youngun”, I missed all the girls having giant boobs, & I missed seeing a bride chew gum all through the reception. I was surprised at the bride actually being 22 years old & even though the wedding dress had a big skirt, it wasn’t over the top & excessively blinged. & the little bridesmaids were adorable.

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I enjoyed the escapee little bridesmaid. She jumped out of the limo at a gas station stop, and someone had to grab her and return her to the limo. 

 

I liked the names, too. Mumy and Youngun, and there was another one, too.

 

That bride looked much older than 22. And they eyelash glue in her eye was ridiculous and hilarious. She actually got in a fender bender because she couldn't see! What a hoot these lot are.

 

And what was the deal with the two kids who said they didn't get anything, or only got an egg? It was sad seeing them watch the others get so many presents.

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I was totally confused by the little ones that didn't get gifts either.  I wish they would have given an explanation.  I was glad to see the English version again because the American one is kind of ridiculous and I'm not even sure they're gypsies or travelers.  Also, I have to say that the father of that teen age business man was kind of hot but all the featured girls looked about ten years past their age and Barbara seemed so joyless.  Overall, it was a nice unexpected treat on my DVR.

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I actually felt bad for the gum chewing bride when her big day started to unravel - and the fact that something as huge as not having a hairdresser at the last minute didn't turn her into a shrieking bridezilla.

I love that her groom's face was blurred. I lol'd at some woman in the church wearing a red bra and navel enhancing miniskirt - but at least everyone's shoulders were covered. Classy bunch.

I don't understand living in these shitty pop-up tent trailers but spending money on "bling". I get the traveller lifestyle, but why not travel in a nicer trailer?

And a PONY!? That poor little guy. Youngen looked like she weighed more than the poor little pony

Oh! And the fact that she didn't know what bereavement was and kept calling it something about a payment ... Sigh.

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I actually felt bad for the gum chewing bride when her big day started to unravel - and the fact that something as huge as not having a hairdresser at the last minute didn't turn her into a shrieking bridezilla.

 

I forgot about that LOL. I don't know why I was surprised that nobody had a clue what the word bereavement meant, the bride might have been a very old 22, but she probably left school at 11. Listening to her tell people why her hairdresser canceled was like watching a game of telephone, she told the other hairdresser the sign said something about "payment".

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I guess the bride saw "m-e-n-t" at the end of "bereavement," and the only word close to it that she knows is "pavement," because it's one of the favored gypsy businesses.

 

Sad or funny? I dunno, but maybe it was both. She seemed a little over it all to me, just giving lip service to being excited about the big day because she knows that's how she's supposed to feel, poor thing.

 

I understand why these women/girls cry about their weddings. It's no fun wiping down walls and furniture for the rest of your life.

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Nice to see the UK Travelers back.  I'm sure that boy, Alfie, has been on here before talking about his various business ventures.  It was odd to me that the announcer said that he's "discreet" about the amount of money he's making, as if we don't know that he's dealing in all cash to avoid paying taxes.

 

I'm glad chunky bride Barbara thinks she looks like a model, but I don't see it.  Her dress was lovely, though, without being so large she can't get up the aisle.  It was particularly touching to hear her tell the baker that if anything goes wrong with the cake, "I know where you live."  I'm not sure that I'd do business with any of them.

 

When Barbara went back home (driving blind), I thought those two little kids sitting off to the side were so sad, the little girl who said she didn't get any presents and the boy who was happy to have gotten an egg.  What was the deal there?  Were those the poor neighbor kids?  Too bad no one could've thrown a Barbie doll that little girl's way or some little something.

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Just watching a re-run now. I don't think a reality show shocked me as much as this particular one is shocking me. I used to just laugh at TLC and partake in some snark from time to time but I just have to say this or I will explode.

Most of these people where high as kites (I'm guessing meth cause weed don't mess with your face that way)and shame on TLC for letting that poor girl drive and explode her car. Shame on TLC for being in that trailer and not reporting the lot to CPS. I don't think Lacy was high, his teeth were too good, but the fight was the best thing to happen to him. He can be free from that gypsy family and maybe his kids can have a chance at a better life.

Those other two...wow. Did dude just pay $1000.00 to have sex? He should have looked harder for a $7.00 bottle of flavoured sparkling water. He don't have long for this world if he keeps on tweekin like that. He might be a good guy...oh what am I saying. ??!!

I didn't even enjoy the shock factor of this show because I was too busy wrestling with the fact that I should cc this post to TLC. Shame shame shame on them.

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I just had to laugh -- all that Greek gypsy girl cared about was the dress. After all that time and trouble to get into it, the logistics of getting her through doorways, renting a friggin' flatbed to drive that monster of a dress to the venue, not to mention the thousands of dollars it must have cost, she just wore it for the short time her ceremony lasted. She already ditched it in favor of the wisp of a mini-skirt for the reception. She could have at least worn it for more than 15 minutes! What a colossal waste!

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Ah show, I have missed you, welcome back. After all the episodes I have seen of this & the British version of this show, this is the very first time the whole "bells" thing has come up. I'm calling BS, I think they made up a "tradition" for the show. Also, the really strict grandma.

 

Having to arrive at your own wedding on a flatbed truck because your dress is ridiculously huge is just stupid, how could anyone think they look good doing that? 

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ITA that the huge pro about Tatiana and Zuki is that they genuinely seemed in love. I also liked that they are older and they have been together for five years. That is a nice change from the 15 year old girls marrying guys who they've met once. I really wish they had talked more about how Greek and Kurdish gypsies are different from the Romnichal gypsies we usually see.

 

I thought it was kind of funny that Tatiana was talking about how stressed she was about planning the wedding. Girl, if you guys had set the wedding date more than three weeks in advance, it might be slightly less stressful. I know that wedding planning can be stressful but it's significantly less stressful when you aren't trying to book a venue and have a dress made in less than a month. If you waited five years to get engaged, why not wait a few more weeks before the wedding so that you don't have to be a stress case the entire time?

 

It's hard for me to take any of Sonda Celli's statements seriously. She tells every girl that her dress is the biggest, blingiest, etc. Even if Tatiana's dress is the biggest one she's ever made, all that crap Sondra was saying about how her reputation is on the line was ridiculous. As if making the dress a little smaller would somehow shock everyone!

 

I don't understand why these girls want to get married in strapless dresses in fall or winter. I knew I didn't want to wear long sleeves or be cold and I didn't want the possibility of rain on my wedding day so that ruled out most of the year. There's a reason why so many brides want to get married in the spring/summer. Seeing Tatiana's blowing in her face in the parking lot and that gray sky confirmed that my summer wedding decision was a good one. Imagine how terrible it would have been if it started raining while she was on that flatbed truck. At least she was smart enough to choose an outdoor venue so that she didn't have to worry about getting inside the church.

 

Tatiana is a pretty girl but I hated the eye makeup she had at her wedding. She looked so much better in the other footage. It was so adorable to see how nervous and excited Zuki was while waiting for her to arrive. I don't like that the Kurdish tradition is that he couldn't see her until she was at the altar. I wish he could have seen her walking down the aisle after all that trouble. It was also nice to see that Zuki and his groomsmen were dressed nicely, as were many of the guests. I hate how at some of these weddings, the groom is wearing a t-shirt and the guests look like they just walked in after going shopping at Target.

 

Julie seemed like a nice normal girl. She wasn't yelling at her mother or grandmother or feuding with anyone, which is shocking for this show. Because she seemed so nice and normal, I feel bad saying that I didn't like her Rainbow Brite dress. I know that the most important thing is that she liked it (and she shouldn't care what a stranger on the internet thinks of her dress) but good lord, those huge rhinestones were so tacky.

 

I also thought it was hilarious that her grandmother was so insistent that Julie not talk to boys so that she remain pure, but it's okay for a 15 year old girl to have multiple tattoos. Heh, she should have used the shawl to hold those bells against her body to keep them from ringing. I was wondering how she was going to dance later without making all those bells ring. I didn't realize that the dress was just for walking into the venue. At least when she changed, she wasn't wearing a skanky little outfit. I don't thnk her grandmother would have let that happen!

 

I love that although her aunt Marie was a little jealous that she never got to have a sweet 16 party, she fully supported Julie having more freedom and threw Grandma Tils out when she was getting out of control.

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Were the pineapple and palm tree dresses on the British version? For some reason I always remember those.

Pineapples, yes. But I can't remember if the palm trees were U.S. or U.K.

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I've looked for a photo of the dress and cannot find it on line.  Can someone post a link?
As for the girl and her family being actually Greek, I’m really questioning that one.  I'm thinking that they are actually Roman gypsies whose grandparents or great grandparents emigrated to Greece, and her parents moved to America. 
I’ve met a lot of gypsies in Greece and none of them say they are Greek.

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Nettie's son is getting married, but is wary of asking his sister Dallas to be in the wedding, since her wild behavior could ruin the occasion. Meanwhile, a Romany teen hosts a family affair that could result in a marriage proposal.

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Oh this one is going to be good, Dallas is jealous of everyone, if she's a bridesmaid she's going to be jealous of the maid of honor, if she's not a bridesmaid, she's going to be jealous of the bridesmaids. Either way, she's going to make trouble.

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I am actually kind of surprised that the first episode had none of the usual suspects featured, which was a nice change from the non-stop Stanley family shenanigans. I'm sure this episode will more than make up for their absence from the last episode!

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They are NOT Diamonds. Okay I feel better saying that again. Well it wouldn't be a season of this show without at least some Stanley drama, but I almost shot soda out of my nose when Nettie was talking about how good of a mother she is because she has 9 kids. It's quality not quantity. Also Gypsy girls don't show their bodies? I guess I've been watching a whole different show all this time.

Edited by carpedi7
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