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S03.E08: Proposal in the City


bigskygirl
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49 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Maybe my own life experiences color my opinions but some of those IFB women are pretty enthusiastic about sex and so are their husbands.  I was a married IFB woman and no one sounded very frustrated.  They could be lying but I doubt that because they were truthful about other things.   I truly believed that most couples were pretty darn happy in a physical relationship. I myself was always happy.  ;)  I was always taught that anything in the confines of marriage was acceptable.  Oral sex, etc was acceptable.  A good sexual relationship with your husband was considered an ideal to attain.  

Now, the molestation is another story. There's a lot going on in that situation.  Not sure how Jinger processes and deals. 

Jeremy?  Yeah...I don't know about him. His anti masturbation talk is typical for the religious....I don't think it necessarily means that you won't pleasure your wife. I think Jeremy is a nutcase for other reasons.  But he might really love meek Jinger and wants to make her happy.  

I guess I really believe that love goes a long way in this area.  ;)

I am hoping you're right! Because that would be great for JInger.

But for me the molestation and its miserably handled aftermath and just the very odd vibe I get from Jeremy -- plus his going out of his way to pick a 22-year-old-who-seems-12 -- loom very large for me. If he wants a fun sex partner, why didn't he pick a 22-year-old who seems at least 16? I find his choice of a pseudo child troubling in this regard.

On Jinger's dealing with the molestation.... That's just it, isn't it? It appears pretty clear that she doesn't deal and hasn't dealt. And that bites you in the ass eventually. And sexual issues like that in childhood tend to take their revenge later in sexual ways, as far as I've heard.

On your life experiences coloring your views of this -- Well, that's the great thing about these discussions, isn't it? Everybody's had different experiences and all those different experiences throw different lights on the Duggar dilemmas. That's why it's so fun and illuminating to read here!

Edited by Churchhoney
because I'm long-winded
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10 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

I'm shipping a show of just Ben and Jinger.  She affectionately called him "Benji" a couple of times and he seemed to really want everything to go well for her. He was more invested than her "best friend" Jessa was.  I need these two to be besties.

I've always felt that Ben and Jinger would make a better match.  The prickly, bossy princess would be perfect for the holy goalie.  While I can see Jessa as a "First Lady", I am having a hard time envisioning Jinger in that role. 

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8 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

I've always felt that Ben and Jinger would make a better match.  The prickly, bossy princess would be perfect for the holy goalie.  While I can see Jessa as a "First Lady", I am having a hard time envisioning Jinger in that role. 

I really can't see Jessa as "First Lady" either.  Jessa is just not comfortable around people not in the family.  Jinger is 100 times friendlier.

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4 hours ago, becca3891 said:

Argh! My point is really getting lost here. Women with the healthiest sex drives imaginable still typically do not reach orgasm during intercourse. For 80 percent of us, the clitoris is placed too far to get the stimulation it needs. It has nothing to do with upbringing, lack of desire, awkwardness, etc. It is a source of great frustration, in fact, for many women. And it doesn't help that so many men are completely unaware of it. 

Well, for those unfortunate women, I sincerely hope that their men know how to use their tongues. 

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Now that jinger and Jeremy are engaged I wonder if Jim Bob will buy a house or give them money to make a down payment on a house down in Texas? It would seem really unfair that he gives all of his newlywed daughters a rent free residence except for Jinger.

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3 hours ago, Onceafan said:

Now that jinger and Jeremy are engaged I wonder if Jim Bob will buy a house or give them money to make a down payment on a house down in Texas? It would seem really unfair that he gives all of his newlywed daughters a rent free residence except for Jinger.

But the rest of the son in laws had nowhere to stay to even bring their brides back to. 

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3 hours ago, Onceafan said:

Now that jinger and Jeremy are engaged I wonder if Jim Bob will buy a house or give them money to make a down payment on a house down in Texas? It would seem really unfair that he gives all of his newlywed daughters a rent free residence except for Jinger.

He will offer them a house near the TTH and if they don't accept, then screw'em. Boob's "generosity" has nothing to do with wanting to help his kids out, it's all about keeping them and their spouses under his thumb.

I do wonder how self-aware JB is about his control issues. He's never come across as particularly intelligent to me but he does seem to have a knack for manipulating people. Is he doing it in a calculated way, planning out ways to control his kids, or is he all instinct and self-delusion?

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8 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

On your life experiences coloring your views of this -- Well, that's the great thing about these discussions, isn't it? Everybody's had different experiences and all those different experiences throw different lights on the Duggar dilemmas. That's why it's so fun and illuminating to read here!

You are certainly right about that! I love all the posts here and enjoy reading everyone's points.  

Oddly enough, I usually agree with pieces and parts of everyone's posts, which keeps me interested and entertained.  

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5 hours ago, doodlebug said:

Gynecologist here.  The general stats I've seen, as well as my experience in 30 years of practice; tell me that almost nobody female climaxes her first time via vaginal intercourse only.  Most women need special attention paid to their clitoris and it is hard to do that during vaginal intercourse alone.  It tends to be the sort of thing that takes some practice and experimentation to achieve.  The general rule is about a third of women achieve orgasm during vaginal intercourse on a regular basis, about a third do so sometimes and about a third never do.  And, in virtually every case, there needs to be clitoral stimulation, often manual, done at the same time.

And that's all the clinical details I feel the need to share.

On the topic of Jinger and Jeremy; there are plenty of fundie couples who have very satisfying sex lives; even those who had virtually no experience at the time they were married.  I could name names if it wasn't for HIPAA.  Personally, it's not the wedding night that matters, most of us didn't feel the earth move the first time.  It's what happens over the next 2, 3 or 20 years in the bedroom that is important.

And I think this is the main issue I have because nothing from the holy Goalies himself currently supports that Jeremy gives a shit about parity when he clearly is buying into the notion that he is marrying and taking on the headship of a second class citizen.  We are watching a young woman being traded like a farm animal no matter how much spin and pop culture trappings they drape over the whole deal to make it viewer friendly.   No matter how much "fun" they try to imbue and how much fake thin flat "romance" they flutter around with the babes and jinjes and telling us she is his "sweetheart".  This is a 22 year old woman who at the base of all this is not an equal.  To her father.  To her brothers.  And to the man she is supposedly spending the rest of her life with.  And yet we are supposed to take it all in as if it is a Disney Princess Cartoon or The Bible Bachelorette and sigh and simper and pretend cartoon animals sent by Jesus will come to dress her for her rapturous union with the man and his holy dick who will make a true woman out of her.  Because she can't do that on her own now can she?  What with being a. er, woman and all. 

Though 'A Duggar and Her Dildo" could be the title of a fantastic autobiography about shaking free from a patriarchal misogynistic imposed system of self-hate and sexual repression. 

Or a porno.

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All I have to add to this orgasm situation is that getting a well placed piercing ( on the female) helps. LOL.

You would never guess I have one ( i look fairly conservative) but you bet you ass Im never getting rid of! Maybe if Jer needs some assistance that might be a solution haha.

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45 minutes ago, yogi2014L said:

All I have to add to this orgasm situation is that getting a well placed piercing ( on the female) helps. LOL.

You would never guess I have one ( i look fairly conservative) but you bet you ass Im never getting rid of! Maybe if Jer needs some assistance that might be a solution haha.

i think this is my favorite post on here ever.  :)  

I love you guys...you are all so interesting and real. 

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I have to agree.  This conversation has taken a very weird (and off-topic) turn.

I'm also confused why we think Jeremy is deranged or mentally ill.  I think his awkwardness is actually because he isn't as strict or into the whole funds thing the way JimBob is, but he knows he has to say the right things to impress him.  It actually gives me hope that Jeremy will get Jinger out from under JB's thumb and let her do things like wear pants and stuff.

I also don't understand  why so many think he won't care about Jinger's sexual pleasure.  A lot of men take pride in making their women, um, feel good.  Even conservative fundie ones.  And yes, I have experience with fundies and Quiverfull and all that good stuff.  

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14 hours ago, Whyyouneedaname said:

I had the 'Proposal in the City" episode playing while getting ready for work this morning, you know just background noise. Jinge has definitely been watching TV, when Jeremy asked if she had been to a soccer game, and I know I've commented on this earlier but it just baffles me at the stupidity, "I've drove by a soccer field" is she doing a pitch for the Holiday Inn Express? Wow, just wow.

The Duggars would think they're brain surgeons if they saw it demoed. They'd be great spokespeople for Holiday Inn Express.

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19 hours ago, becca3891 said:

....

[Sorry, can't seem to get rid of quote box.]

One more note on the show. I DO like that Jeremy calls her a woman and not a girl. That's one my pet peeviests. 

Edited by MischaMouse
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10 hours ago, Vaysh said:

He will offer them a house near the TTH and if they don't accept, then screw'em. Boob's "generosity" has nothing to do with wanting to help his kids out, it's all about keeping them and their spouses under his thumb.

I do wonder how self-aware JB is about his control issues. He's never come across as particularly intelligent to me but he does seem to have a knack for manipulating people. Is he doing it in a calculated way, planning out ways to control his kids, or is he all instinct and self-delusion?

This, seems to me. I think that's a pretty common way to be. He's just his big id in action. Lots of people have out of control power urges. He was just lucky enough to find a woman who'd be willing to pump out 19 kids for him to exercise his power urges on, which strengthens and amplifies them -- and whose sheer numbers let him get onto tv to do it, seems to me.

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At one point Jinger stated that Baabe was was handsome, and always had been. Then she looked him up and down, as though he was a piece of meat and she were a starving bear. It seemed she looked in his lap area. I can't help wondering what Jimbo has to say about that!

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1 hour ago, zenme said:

At one point Jinger stated that Baabe was was handsome, and always had been. Then she looked him up and down, as though he was a piece of meat and she were a starving bear. It seemed she looked in his lap area. I can't help wondering what Jimbo has to say about that!

Well, she is a starving bear...starved for love and attention from her family of origin...and the courtship rules she's supposedly allowed to set for herself are dictated by Boob.  She's not even allowed to kiss her beloved. I can understand waiting for sex, but a kiss?

i didn't watch this epi since I didn't want to sit through an hour of mashup regurgitated footage masquerading as new...for 5 minutes of worthwhile watching. I would have liked to see the Italian grandmother and Jinger cook together.  Wake me up when it's time for the wedding. Sew, is your money still on this Saturday?

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23 hours ago, becca3891 said:

Argh! My point is really getting lost here. Women with the healthiest sex drives imaginable still typically do not reach orgasm during intercourse. For 80 percent of us, the clitoris is placed too far to get the stimulation it needs. It has nothing to do with upbringing, lack of desire, awkwardness, etc. It is a source of great frustration, in fact, for many women. And it doesn't help that so many men are completely unaware of it. 

Count me in as one who falls in that 80%. And, worse, because even though my husband has always tried to make sure I get there, I typically tend to start worrying that it's taking me too long, and nothing ends up happening anyway. I did always enjoy sex, though, at least up until menopause sort of left me not much caring one way or another. I was a virgin until a few months after I first met my husband, though, and I was 25 at that point...And I did actually have quite a high sex drive before then, I think, but no real opportunity to exercise it due to being intensely shy and a bit socially awkward.  I'd discovered masturbation fairly early on, though, honestly before I really knew it was a thing

I'll stop before I start getting into too much detail, though LOL

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On October 12, 2016 at 1:49 PM, Marigold said:

I know where you're coming from with this...

I just think those two look like they are going to O at any moment just standing next to eachother.  Particularly Jinger.  Maybe she is TOO sexually aroused? I don't know enough about the horrible situations she has been through to even make an educated guess.

But she certainly looks ready to have some sex with No Jerk Off Jeremy.  Maybe they will have a lot of sexual dysfunction but from my TV screen, they look like they will get the job done and pretty darn quickly.   And Jeremy is surely no virgin even though he plays one on TV. 

Thank you, Marigold; that's exactly where I was coming (no pun intended) from.  Those two are super-duper hot for each other, and I have hope that Jeremy loves Jinger enough to make sure that she's sexually satisfied.

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On 10/11/2016 at 10:44 PM, woodscommaelle said:

She 100% did. Not saying she IS. But she definitely looked pregnant.

I didn't even recognize Anna at first. I thought it was a pregnant friend of the family. 

I was hoping Babe (or is it now Love or Lovee) & Cringe  would have found a secluded cove  to hang in while Benessa would float by. 

Was Jeremy realizing James kids may spill the beans about THE MOST BEAUTIFUL RING EVER  some kind of shock factor to keep us glued to our seats?  "Oh no, will the kids tell?  stay tuned..." kind of thing.

All those people around & Ben had to chaperone at the proposal.   Ben thought he was the man by telling Cringe he helped choose  the ring. 

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6 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Well, she is a starving bear...starved for love and attention from her family of origin...and the courtship rules she's supposedly allowed to set for herself are dictated by Boob.  She's not even allowed to kiss her beloved. I can understand waiting for sex, but a kiss?

i didn't watch this epi since I didn't want to sit through an hour of mashup regurgitated footage masquerading as new...for 5 minutes of worthwhile watching. I would have liked to see the Italian grandmother and Jinger cook together.  Wake me up when it's time for the wedding. Sew, is your money still on this Saturday?

JinJer, along with their fathers, were spotted on the San Antonio Riverwalk earlier this week. However, they could easily been home Wednesday night for the Thursday Jamberry party and a rehearsal today. However, I'm beginning to think next week or maybe as late as the 29th. That said, Duggars were out campaigning in the Stink Bus in 2014 as late as the Thursday before Jessa's wedding. Remember the "Will Smuggar get there in time?" plotline?

So yeah, nothing would surprise me at this point.

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I was just thinking...if they ever wanted to play a rerun of Jessa or Jill's wedding...would they have to edit out Smuggar? I guess so, since they said he will never appear on TLC again. 

Also, has anyone been to the Duggar Facebook page? People were speculating that Jill was hiding her belly, only to be met with, "no u mind ur own business she would tell us the second she found out if she was pregnant." I mean...have they not noticed that this family delays telling the, about EVERYTHING? Do they think Jinger's only been courting since June? #icanteven

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I have had 5 kids and numerous miscarriages. If I gain weight, I look 4 months pregnant. If I over eat and stand slouchy, I look pregnant. 

I'm assuming Anna gains weight like that too.  We know she gained weight so it all went to her stomach area, giving the pregnant look. (I hope)

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Anna didn't look THAT bad during the episode; she was just wearing a very baggy shirt. She still seemed to have *some* of the figure she got back when Smuggar was locked away in Jesus Jail. However, her most recent pics DO show definitely weight gain, and she does seem to be an Apple, gaining all her weight through the middle. The last pic I saw of her looked like a muffin top rather than a pregnancy. 

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3 hours ago, Barb23 said:

 Ben thought he was the man by telling Cringe he helped choose  the ring. 

I understand this whole thing was scripted and planned for tv, but wouldn't it have made more sense for Jessa to help Jeremy pick the ring? She knows Jinger's tastes better than anybody. I guess it's all moot because Jinger was going to get whatever ring White's Jewelers was willing to comp, but Jessa would've been the more logical choice to give input over Bin.

Edited by BitterApple
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Unfortunately, that would have messed with the plotline TLC created for this episode. Remember, Ben met up with Jeremy, who had sercretly flown into NWA to surprise Cringe at Tacos4Life. Jessa had to be with Cringe to make this construct work. 

They could have picked out the ring on a different trip with Jessa's help, or Jeremy could have picked it up in Laredo, which is what regular guys would have done. I guess that means Anna is the only one without a comped ring; the only engagement prep they showed from Smuggar was him calling Pa Keller to plan the trip to the ever-so-classy Gator Landing. 

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19 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Do y'all think the ring was comped? I'm thinking heavily discounted. Jewelry mark-up is sometimes as high as 500% so a discount is usually affordable for a mom & pop jeweler. 

If not comped, I'd guess they got it for cost.

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Yeah, my DVR. got it. Korean BBQ. Previews of Jill's homecoming and Jessa's pregnancy announcement with an ice cream social at the Mold House. I do wonder how far along she was when she told them. If she waited until the end of July, it was the worst kept secret ever. She was showing in NYC.

Edited by Sew Sumi
Failure of spell check. Announcemen isn't a word.
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31 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Yeah, my DVR. got it. Korean BBQ. Previews of Jill's homecoming and Jessa's pregnancy announcement with an ice cream social at the Mold House. I do wonder how far along she was when she told them. If she waited until the end of July, it was the worst kept secret ever. She was showing in NYC.

Jessa using chopsticks, all that training eating out didn't go to waste.

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Yeah, that kind of shocked me! But Mechelle mumbling about how they had never eaten something (I forget what) in a certain way before was pure Duggar. And Ben tried kimchi (I think) and made a face. He did try to be diplomatic, though. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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To be fair, kimchi can be a bit... brutal on your tastebuds the first time you try it. I'm not much of a fan myself tbh, despite living in the land of surströmming. I can deal with fermented and I can deal with chili. The combination, however, I find a little daunting.

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Full disclosure- I am only 30 minutes into the episode and have not read any posts yet.

It has been the week from hell and I'm functioning on not much brain power right now yet these "adults" are so freakin dumb I just cannot believe it.  My head literally hurts trying to follow this shit.  I can only assume the old saying is true.... Ignorance is bliss.  Because these stupid ass smiles over stupid ass shit is killing me. 

Edited by tabloidlover
Spelling is important
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On 10/13/2016 at 8:17 PM, yogi2014L said:

All I have to add to this orgasm situation is that getting a well placed piercing ( on the female) helps. LOL.

You would never guess I have one ( i look fairly conservative) but you bet you ass Im never getting rid of! Maybe if Jer needs some assistance that might be a solution haha.

Wow. I learn something new every day. Even on the Duggar forum.

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I broke down last night and watched/FFed  this On Demand, just to see 1) Derick's long hair, 2) the board shorts, and 3) Babe's gramma.

1) I like Derick's long hair. I actually don't mind his look at all....kinda have a soft spot for the semi-grungey hippie bit that he and Jill are both into. Did I see a pic where he was subbing in a school? Where I work, the kids love those type of subs....young guys, hippie-trippy look, can tell travel stories, etc. Just sayin'.....

2) The board shorts...are stupid. They made both Jgirls look massively overweight and frumpy (er). Speaking of lumpy, ALL the Dwomen , Mullet, Jana, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joy, and Anna looked from 4-6 months pregnant in every scene. Maybe it was the OnDemand distortion, but it was bad.

3) Babe's gramma was awesome. Did she mumble something about arranging this match ? Maybe she watches the show and found Jinge for Babe? Hmmm....anyone else catch that ?......I think Jinge tried to change the subject.

Liked Babe's soccer friend....are they Fundies too? Lots of babies. And why did he need to carry the ring into NYC? For an extra paycheck? Didn't make sense, but maybe I lost interest at that point.....it was sooooooo dragged out with the "praying for weather to change" (Agree, gross for the people who are living with drought, hurricanes, etc...ya know, actual weather catastrophes. Tsk, tsk, Babe.)

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I'm watching the preview about the Korean BBQ, and while I'm glad the Duggars tried new food, it felt kind of selfish to me on Jeremy's part. It was clear the Duggars were a little reluctant to try it, including Jinger (I'll try anything, but I know I would also be a little reluctant). It bothers me, because why couldn't they have gone there another night? Why did it have to be right after the engagement? I think Jeremy should have chosen somewhere that he KNOWS Jinger will like for that once in a lifetime milestone, but his selfishness on this doesn't bode well for the future, in my opinion. 

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Why board shorts when kayaking? It wasn't like they were going swimming.  Why didn't the girls just wear a normal pair of ladie's capris, skorts or leggings with a long tunic top when they were kayaking? I thought sure they would just wear leggings under a skirt like Jill did  her birthday hike.  I guess this would have been over the top for them. Did they wear life jackets?  Don't even get me started if they didn't. Oops I forgot, they have a special God to protect & watch over them. 

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3 hours ago, Barb23 said:

Why board shorts when kayaking? It wasn't like they were going swimming.  Why didn't the girls just wear a normal pair of ladie's capris, skorts or leggings with a long tunic top when they were kayaking? I thought sure they would just wear leggings under a skirt like Jill did  her birthday hike.  I guess this would have been over the top for them. Did they wear life jackets?  Don't even get me started if they didn't. Oops I forgot, they have a special God to protect & watch over them. 

I think its a combination of not having those items on the trip and having to be all dramatic and wear their guys -clothing kind of like stealing a boys sweatshirt when you are in 7th grade LOL (IMO)

I was happy they did because they looked so awkward wearing those skirts go karting at least they are finally learning

I can;t believe I have watched every episode of this season...*hangs head in shame*

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6 hours ago, Barb23 said:

Why board shorts when kayaking? It wasn't like they were going swimming.  Why didn't the girls just wear a normal pair of ladie's capris, skorts or leggings with a long tunic top when they were kayaking? I thought sure they would just wear leggings under a skirt like Jill did  her birthday hike.  I guess this would have been over the top for them. Did they wear life jackets?  Don't even get me started if they didn't. Oops I forgot, they have a special God to protect & watch over them. 

I always wear some type of swimwear or board shorts when kayaking.  Even if you don't fall in, you typically get some water on your shorts.  Board shorts dry quickly.   

I never WEAR a life jacket when kayaking, paddle boarding, etc.  I do keep one on board because it is required.  However, I can swim.  I have no clue if these girls can swim or even tread water until their men could rescue them.  It doesn't seem as if they have had that much experience around water.  I was really surprised they could figure out how to kayak.  Maybe TLC gave them a crash course before filming. 

2 hours ago, yogi2014L said:

I think its a combination of not having those items on the trip and having to be all dramatic and wear their guys -clothing kind of like stealing a boys sweatshirt when you are in 7th grade LOL (IMO)

I was happy they did because they looked so awkward wearing those skirts go karting at least they are finally learning

I can;t believe I have watched every episode of this season...*hangs head in shame*

I feel that Jessa borrows Bengermin's all the time.  I guess it's just too embarrassing for her to go out and buy her own.

Jinge- however.  I guess she realized there was no way she could wear Babe's without them falling off her tiny body.  She probably ordered online.  Can't have people seeing her in public buying shorts!  Oh the horror.  

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6 hours ago, Barb23 said:

Why board shorts when kayaking? It wasn't like they were going swimming.  Why didn't the girls just wear a normal pair of ladie's capris, skorts or leggings with a long tunic top when they were kayaking? I thought sure they would just wear leggings under a skirt like Jill did  her birthday hike.  I guess this would have been over the top for them. Did they wear life jackets?  Don't even get me started if they didn't. Oops I forgot, they have a special God to protect & watch over them. 

They were kayaking on a calm, flatwater river. No need for lifejackets on adults who can (ostensibly) swim. Who knows how much Jessa and Jinger have really swum in their lives. They probably needed life vests, even what looked like the calmest river ever. 

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On one of the later 19 kids episodes before the cancellation, the older Duggar girls and Michelle went swimming with the Bateses girls and Kelly. The girls all sported Modesty Wear swimwear, while Kelly and Michelle wore matchy puffed sleeved blouses.

The Duggar girls could jump into the water from the dock and sort of dog paddle the few inches back to the ladder.

BUT, they all had to hold their noses while jumping in, which tells me they can't really swim.

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