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S03.E07: Guys' Guide to Courting


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I was thinking about Jeremy's comment about talking to the father of the girl you want to court.  Now I have 2 sisters.  I'm not sure about my younger brother-in-law, but both my husband and other brother-in-law spoke to my dad before proposing.  Of course, it was just a FORMALITY.  Had my dad said no I would have eloped with my man!  But it was kind of old fashioned and cute.  Also, my son-in-law showed us our daughter's engagement ring and said something like , "I'd like to marry your daughter."  He seemed a bit nervous but of course we said yes.  But in fundy-land, I guess it's much more than a cute tradition.  And of course, JB likes to make the guys sweat.  Power trip for him.  Guess his adult daughter don't realize they can do what they want.  How sad!

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Here's another thing I don't get about the chaperones...Joy said it's better to have two chaperones so they can talk to each other, and I agree. It would be like two groups of two normal people going out for dinner. However, isn't the point of chaperones sitting WITH the couple, instead of, say, across the restaurant, to make sure they don't talk about inappropriate topics? What if they're engrossed in their conversation and don't hear every word of the couple's? Or are they literally just there to make sure they don't rip each others' clothes off in the middle of Olive Garden? If so, why can't they sit at a different table? It. Makes. No. Sense!

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6 hours ago, Annb67 said:

Oh....my.....god. Christ on a cracker!!! No f'ing way!!!? Unbelievable

This is one time I actually feel bad for Josh. He very clearly did not want any more than the three kids he already had. He's up to 4 now and apparently baking number 5. I guess he's been successfully reprogrammed at sex camp and realizes that he needs to get back to making babies. What I don't understand is if he is the "headship" why he can't say 3 is enough? 

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I think most sisters/siblings would have a better idea of what their brothers/siblings want, but that would be based mostly on seeing them interact with people they're attracted to. Since the brothers aren't allowed to interact with girls much, it makes it harder to figure out their type. 

That being said they've been trying to show on this season the Duggars have good individual friendships with their siblings when it makes sense. Earlier there was that awkwardly sweet moment when Jessa said Jinger is her best friend. The J-iah twin boys are friends. There were good basis for both of those friendships to be mentioned.  I really can't remember seeing any kind of real closeness between Jana and John David, so it was interesting Jana said it was important she got along with her twin's wife and she hoped they(her and the future wife) would be best friends. 

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In addition, I think Jill and Jessa were being honest when they said it's hard to picture their little brothers as grown men starting to date. They're not used to thinking of their younger siblings in those terms, so I can see them not being able to describe their ideal mate. 

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4 hours ago, Marigold said:

 

But seriously, did they really need to type this up? 

 

A 12-year-old "chaperone" does not need to be privy to any limits placed on an adult relationship. I also agree with the poster that said it's entirely possible the 12-year-old in question was unable to read the document in the first place.

I am so tired of the Duggars' insistence on meddling in the lives and relationships of their adult children. It's none of their business, either. It's sickening that TLC is giving them a platform to display this BS on national television.

One has to wonder what TLC will do when the inevitable divorces/infidelities start.

29 minutes ago, Clemgo3165 said:

What I don't understand is if he is the "headship" why he can't say 3 is enough? 

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Because he's too spineless to stand up to his wife and his father. Joshley Madison is the king of passive-aggression. In other words, he'll fuck other people and blame his wife or Satan (or both) for it.

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2 minutes ago, Missy Vixen said:

 

One has to wonder what TLC will do when the inevitable divorces/infidelities start.

They'll probably be kicking themselves that they gave the show the ax before the juicy, ratings inducing drama began to start. 

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1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

What if they're engrossed in their conversation and don't hear every word of the couple's? 

Oh to be a fly on the wall during one of these 'engrossing' conversations. I mean honestly, what do these people like?  Has anyone really shown a thread of interest in something for a period of time? Besides Babe and that's only been the last few months.

Edited by woodscommaelle
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I just wonder if they are so guarded they don't reveal much in the TH and everything else is staged. Do they lie around all day?  Or does JB have them on his projects.  If not, what are young healthy people doing just sitting?  No computer games, no TV, no movies, no books, etc.  I don't think Starbucks can be the most stimulating of environments, unless that is the only place besides thrift stores they go to on a daily basis.  I have thought for a while that we don't see the "real" them.  Just what they think they want to show us.  PS - not defending them and their "sly" ways, etc.

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I wonder if TLC was furious when they found out Anna was pregnant, and that's why she hasn't been on much. That might be too distasteful, even for them! Also, they would be less likely to attract advertisers with Joshley's pregnant wife running around cooing about their love and newest "blessing." It would seriously make her look like a loon. Anna seemed to enjoy her bigger role on the show last season, as she smugly spouted out marriage advice to the other girls. I wonder how she has taken being demoted again. 

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40 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I wonder if TLC was furious when they found out Anna was pregnant, and that's why she hasn't been on much. That might be too distasteful, even for them! 

 

I depend on those who can actually sit through it for the latest snark, but OMG: PG Anna is a bridge too far. Any woman who's ever known another woman dealing with infidelity will want to barf. It's not entertaining or fun. It's heart-rending. The knowledge that Anna has no marketable skills at all to support five kids under eight if she finally decides she's had more than enough isn't something the vast majority of viewers would want to watch, either. IMHO of course.

Hey, Nance, what's the matter? Shit got a little too real for you, too?

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5 hours ago, luvmylabs said:

I was thinking about Jeremy's comment about talking to the father of the girl you want to court.  Now I have 2 sisters.  I'm not sure about my younger brother-in-law, but both my husband and other brother-in-law spoke to my dad before proposing.  Of course, it was just a FORMALITY.  Had my dad said no I would have eloped with my man!  But it was kind of old fashioned and cute.  Also, my son-in-law showed us our daughter's engagement ring and said something like , "I'd like to marry your daughter."  He seemed a bit nervous but of course we said yes.  But in fundy-land, I guess it's much more than a cute tradition.  And of course, JB likes to make the guys sweat.  Power trip for him.  Guess his adult daughter don't realize they can do what they want.  How sad!

I think it's really sweet in the "normal people" world, however with the Duggars and their ilk it feels like a business transaction. There's something very possessive about it, as if the girl doesn't matter at all. It's just a pissing contest between the father and the suitor. 

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24 minutes ago, louannems said:

I just spent a half hour reading replies on Facebook Counting On.  The real fans are FURIOUS with the boring show. Boring On!

There were a lot of negative comments on Lily & Ellie's blog too.  One even brought up that Anna looks pregnant in the previews & how that was a poor decision. 

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3 hours ago, Clemgo3165 said:

This is one time I actually feel bad for Josh. He very clearly did not want any more than the three kids he already had. He's up to 4 now and apparently baking number 5. I guess he's been successfully reprogrammed at sex camp and realizes that he needs to get back to making babies. What I don't understand is if he is the "headship" why he can't say 3 is enough? 

Because God is his headship, and God wants all these super-holy fuckers to have as many dozens of idiot-children as they can squirt out? Remember how Joshie's wedding vows included promising to let God decide how many kids they have? So if he rejects that part of the Gothard/God package, then he doesn't get to be God's appointed headship either, I expect.

Edited by Churchhoney
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27 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Derick, Ben, and Jeremy may have all come from families that watch some TV.  The Duggars may have accepted that they will need to broaden the field to marry some of these guys off.

They need to broaden the field all right.  What they need to do is let some of those unmarried kidults go to college and learn a little more about the real world. Boob will have three educated sons-in-law--when is he going to figure out that education separates them from his own dull sons?

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Such a snoozefest of regurgitated crap.

Did anyone else notice how creepy Jing looked sitting in the back pew of that church -like place where Bin proposed???

I did a double take cus she reminded me so much of that girl in the Ring. 

It was seriously like a horror movie shot.

This intimate moment and them camera pans to loony sister in the back pew.

Oh and way to much KJB for my liking. That asshat.

Loved how they all stuttered through explaining the business brains on those 17 year old kids. .yup. .big business heads on those two. 

Joy needs to stop talking. Like now. She is an embarrassment to home schooling. Did  she have some sort of accident with her tongue?  She seems to really struggle keeping it from flopping out of her babbling mouth. Maybe she was the original Josie and licked something toxic as a kid that paralysed her tongue and grew it to ten times it's size? 

Whoever likened Jing to Prissy was spot ON! What adult male in his right mind could deal with that simpering fool and her googly eyes for longer than the time it will take him to get her feet back behind her ears?

MWB out. 

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This show was the biggest load of shite I think I have ever seen...stupid recaps...boring questionnaire for each of the kidult boys...wash, rinse, repeat. I think I zapped thru the whole epi in 15 minutes.  Boring as all hell.  I haven't read many of the preceding comments, but I don't think I've added anything new.

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2 hours ago, MarysWetBar said:

Such a snoozefest of regurgitated crap.

Did anyone else notice how creepy Jing looked sitting in the back pew of that church -like place where Bin proposed???

I did a double take cus she reminded me so much of that girl in the Ring. 

It was seriously like a horror movie shot.

This intimate moment and them camera pans to loony sister in the back pew.

Oh and way to much KJB for my liking. That asshat.

Loved how they all stuttered through explaining the business brains on those 17 year old kids. .yup. .big business heads on those two. 

Joy needs to stop talking. Like now. She is an embarrassment to home schooling. Did  she have some sort of accident with her tongue?  She seems to really struggle keeping it from flopping out of her babbling mouth. Maybe she was the original Josie and licked something toxic as a kid that paralysed her tongue and grew it to ten times it's size? 

Whoever likened Jing to Prissy was spot ON! What adult male in his right mind could deal with that simpering fool and her googly eyes for longer than the time it will take him to get her feet back behind her ears?

MWB out. 

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Damn now I regret deleting the episode off of my DVR. I wanted to see could I spot creepy Jing in the back of the church? She definitely has a distinctive look from the rest of the ladies.

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It was just a rehash of the Jessa proposal at Thorncrown Chapel. If you've seen that episode, you're all good. 

There was what, about 5 minutes of new content, not including those insipid Boy Surveys? 

By far, the worst.episode.ever. Even Smuggar's wedding was a snarkfest. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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I actually thought Smuggers wedding was th best of them.  The ceremony sucked but the parents provided tables and chairs and actual food for the guests.  So I presume, although I don't recall, that the guest list was under control.  It was so much classier than the Dugger planned weddings.  I don't remember the dresses so they must have been ok.  Not the memorable horror dresses ala Duggar.

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9 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

Because God is his headship, and God wants all these super-holy fuckers to have as many dozens of idiot-children as they can squirt out? Remember how Joshie's wedding vows included promising to let God decide how many kids they have? So if he rejects that part of the Gothard/God package, then he doesn't get to be God's appointed headship either, I expect.

Ugh, it just makes me ill. 

Apparently it's becoming fashionable in Britain to tattoo different arrows on your wrist for each of your children, based on the same bible passage that the Quiverfull Movement is based on. These women claim not to be, but it still disturbs.

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If the purpose of a chaperone is to prevent any inappropriate spit-swapping, hand-holding, or other such frontal-facing indiscretions, I wonder how JB and Michelle explain that to the 8 or 9-year old chaperone?  Does the chaperone even know what he/she is supposed to be preventing?  Is the chaperone supposed to take notes and report back?  It's more than a little bit disturbing that a pre-pubescent kid is being enlisted as a spy for the older Duggar kids, not to mention embarrassing and awkward for the younger kid.  It seems, in a family that proclaims so strongly against anything pre-marital, that the younger kids sure are getting an early education on that very topic.

Edited by laurakaye
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7 hours ago, Micks Picks said:

I actually thought Smuggers wedding was th best of them.  The ceremony sucked but the parents provided tables and chairs and actual food for the guests.  So I presume, although I don't recall, that the guest list was under control.  It was so much classier than the Dugger planned weddings.  I don't remember the dresses so they must have been ok.  Not the memorable horror dresses ala Duggar.

I agree. In hindsight the Keller weddings blow the Duggar weddings out of the water. Aside from the cheesy aspects of the ceremonies, both Anna and Pris' weddings were well organized, tasteful and provided more to eat than a melted root beer float and handful of popcorn. The bridemsaids' dresses looked like proper bridesmaids' dresses, not some chintzy crap from a DEB catalog. For Jessa and Jill, both Guinn and Cathy threw lovely rehearsal dinners, so it's only the Duggar-controlled portions of the events that are a complete disaster. 

Edited by BitterApple
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Is Anna really pregnant or is this just speculation? I haven't seen anything lately about her. The last thing I read about Jinger and Jeremy was that they were planning a "destination" wedding in Texas. I wonder if there is any truth to this rumor.

It seems like these ratings are among the worst they have ever been. I don't recall that 19 Kids and Counting ever fell below 1 million viewers. It doesn't seem like they'll be able to keep up regular seasons going with the young adults for very long. The network will probably go back to doing specials, or else they'll do the same arrangement as for Kate Gosselin- approximately 6-8 shows once or twice a year. 

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16 minutes ago, CarolMK said:

Is Anna really pregnant or is this just speculation? I haven't seen anything lately about her. The last thing I read about Jinger and Jeremy was that they were planning a "destination" wedding in Texas. I wonder if there is any truth to this rumor.

 

Speculation. There's a photo upthread where Anna appears to have a baby bump, but I can't tell. She tends to carry her weight in the middle, so she always looks four months pregnant even when she isn't. 

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Pour his heart out to raise his daughter and asking for his daughter. Really Jeremy... How creepy!!! JD and his working in the family business and being number 3 in the line of nineteen kids. I guess daddy is controlling his work also. He can only fly his family around a little, and he is not a part time officer but a volunteer officer. He is in my opinion, an insult to all officers who put their lives on the line 24/7. I guess the girls are not lining up around the block for him. I chuckle at the ole we are adults and so mature for marriage and family now crap the older kids were spouting. I  have seen a two year old child with more maturity than all the Duggars put together. And yes Duggar boys, lets marry someone like my sisters. I guess they like the giggly, cling until I can cling no more, the maturity of a teenage girl with her first so-called relationship and playing house type girls.

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1 hour ago, CarolMK said:

It seems like these ratings are among the worst they have ever been. I don't recall that 19 Kids and Counting ever fell below 1 million viewers.

They've been below a million before.  Before Jill and Jessa's courtships, the show was on the edge of cancellation. 

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It's just so boring. Even when they do something slightly out of the ordinary, they still talk about the same boring stuff, which apparently is all they are allowed to think about. Courtship, proposal, wedding, baby, random party. At least Ben's fantasy football camp broke out a little. But then, right back to courtship, mating, breeding. BORING!!!! Geez, MY life would make a better reality show. 

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On 10/4/2016 at 7:52 PM, Malvina said:


Derick: for Jil and I (ugh) we would print out a document with our standards on it and give it to our chaperones

Um the chaperones need a list for this?:  No front huggin', no kissin', no sexin'?  Maybe they are brain dead as many suspect if they can't keep this list in their heads.

Edited by Natalie68
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On 10/4/2016 at 10:39 PM, tabloidlover said:

Thank you, Annb67 and jcbrown!!!  I really had the most stressful of days only to come home to watch this bullshit and your posts just made it all worth it!   I will not admit how many times I re-wound portions of the show as I was certain I had to have missed something.  It was just that bad.  And wine did not even take the edge off....

Wine? I don't think a syringe loaded with morphine would take the edge off that crap. ?

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On 10/5/2016 at 6:12 AM, laurakaye said:

So....I guess I just watched a new hybrid show?  "19 Kids and Counting" combined with "Let's Make a Duggar Deal," I think?  Which Duggar boy is behind Curtain Number One?  Would you like to trade him for the mystery Duggar boy behind Curtain Number Two?  But WAIT - the Duggar behind Curtain Number Three likes an organized blonde with a sense of humor!  Choose carefully!

What a transparent attempt to farm off these boys and get them hitched.  The saddest part is, I see lots of worthwhile characteristics in those young men, but I don't know what woman would necessarily want to get sucked in to Jim Bob's family and his manic controlling ways, and be burdened with having Josh as a brother-in-law.  Those are huge strikes against the Duggar boys, and it's sad, and it sucks.

The questions, though...the stupid, stupid questions.  Tall or short?!  Country girl or city girl??  Who came up with these dumb-ass questions?  And the fact that the siblings talk at such length, and put so much thought into their siblings' future love-lives is creepy in the extreme. 

Watching Bin try to ask for courtship rights in a linen closet, breathing in the scent of Jim Bob's halitosis and Michelle's Aqua-Net, holding some random cup of coffee, while Jessa stood there all wide-eyed...that will never not be bizarre.

 #freeJohnDavid

Hilarious!  I think there should be a Curtain Number Four:  You chose the daytime hooker/manmaker and a lifetime supply of Trojans!  

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On 10/5/2016 at 8:08 AM, Annb67 said:

Oh....my.....god. Christ on a cracker!!! No f'ing way!!!? Unbelievable

Bed.Made.Lie.  Make room for the hussies he is bound to 'minister' to.  What a fucking idiot.  Oh and practice 'do you want fries with that' cause when this shit show DOES end you are going to have a tribe of hungry kids to feed and if I combined the IQs of ALL the Duggars it JUST might be equal to that of a 5th grader.  Bless their creepy hearts.

On 10/5/2016 at 0:25 PM, laurakaye said:

Exactly.  Jinge is currency.  Jim Bob's currency.  And the handshake seals Jinge's passage from the man who stunted her growth from birth to age 23, to the man who is going to take over telling Jinge what to do and how to act, because this is all she knows.  It's disgusting.

The thought bubble over JB's head during that handshake might be:  "Here's my daughter.  I do not want to have to go looking for her.  I have a rental property 10 minutes away from my house, and your future plans will include moving in and working for me.  This is how it's done.  You'll start by cleaning toilets.  I have promoted Bin to trash pick up.  You're welcome."

Jer's thought bubble:  "If you think I'm going to live under your thumb like your other dim-bulb son-in-law, think again.  Unlike your spawn, I have a college degree.  I know more than you, your wife, and all 19 of your kids combined.  Bring it on, Mr. Duggar.  Oh, and Jinge and I front-hug when no one's looking.  All I have to do is throw something shiny for our chaperone to chase and she's on me like peanut butter on jelly.  And for crying out loud, chew a Tic-Tac once in a while, man."

Jinge's thought bubble: "..........................baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe...............................string art."

THIS cracked me up!!!!

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Jeremy speaks as if he has a Duggar soundboard installed in his brain that only allows him to use approved fundie-speak although in a delayed manner. Hell. He's probably wired with someone feeding him the 5 lines he repeats every episode. Bin is a doofus but at least he doesn't put on any airs like Jeremy.  Jeremy sounds condescending and disingenuous. He's probably not used to speaking to 14 year olds though.

Jinger always leaves her mouth gaping open after she answers a question in her THs. Jessa does this too like they think they're so adorable. And yes, Joyanna, you need never talk again. She's definitely got macroglossia. 

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The only slightly entertaining moment was watching Boob stuff a cupcake into his doughboy face while Jeremy was asking permission to court.  Then Boob has to act like he's mulling it over, when we all know he is trying to figure out how many episodes they can get out of this transaction.

Another "Christian Mingle" commercial, this time for the guys.  Sorry, I don't think anybody is going to beat a path to the TTH.

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11 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

They showed that stupid cupcake scene TWICE IN TWO MINUTES of show time (this doesn't include previews and previouslies). Who the fuck edits this mess? 

Maybe they've outsourced it to Duggar Studios?

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On 10/5/2016 at 3:07 PM, Clemgo3165 said:

This is one time I actually feel bad for Josh. He very clearly did not want any more than the three kids he already had. He's up to 4 now and apparently baking number 5. I guess he's been successfully reprogrammed at sex camp and realizes that he needs to get back to making babies. What I don't understand is if he is the "headship" why he can't say 3 is enough? 

 

On 10/5/2016 at 6:38 PM, Churchhoney said:

Because God is his headship, and God wants all these super-holy fuckers to have as many dozens of idiot-children as they can squirt out? Remember how Joshie's wedding vows included promising to let God decide how many kids they have? So if he rejects that part of the Gothard/God package, then he doesn't get to be God's appointed headship either, I expect.

But can't Josh just claim that "God laid it on his heart" to stop having kids? Who could argue with him?   He would still be honoring his vow to let God decide how many kids they have.  It's just that in his case, God decided that 4 is enough.

I mean it's not hard to see how God might feel that way, given everything that's happened (lol). I don't even think it would bother Jim Bob and Michelle that much. They probably know Josh would do better without that kind of stress. I think the only person who might be disappointed would be Anna.  She would be deprived of showing the world what a good little breeder she is. She seems like a good mom, too.  But she's got 4 (with #5 possibly on the way). Focus on raising those I kids, make her husband's mental state a priority and give her uterus a rest.  

If anyone dares to complain, they should just tell them it's what God wants them to do and go mind their own damn business!

Edited by Celia Rubenstein
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1 hour ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

 

But can't Josh just claim that "God laid it on his heart" to stop having kids? Who could argue with him?   He would still be honoring his vow to let God decide how many kids they have.  It's just that in his case, God decided that 4 is enough.

I mean it's not hard to see how God might feel that way, given everything that's happened (lol). I don't even think it would bother Jim Bob and Michelle that much. They probably know Josh would do better without that kind of stress. I think the only person who might be disappointed would be Anna.  She would be deprived of showing the world what a good little breeder she is. She seems like a good mom, too.  But she's got 4 (with #5 possibly on the way). Focus on raising those I kids, make her husband's mental state a priority and give her uterus a rest.  

If anyone dares to complain, they should just tell them it's what God wants them to do and go mind their own damn business!

See, this is what I don't ever understand. Michelle also didn't have a heart for kids. Did she think maybe that was God trying to tell her something? Same with Josh. But no. Either you always agree with what God wants, per Gothard or whoever, or you disagree, which means Satan gotcha, and so go against that little voice in your head and do what you have been told to do. 

It makes me want to scream  

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5 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

See, this is what I don't ever understand. Michelle also didn't have a heart for kids. Did she think maybe that was God trying to tell her something? Same with Josh. But no. Either you always agree with what God wants, per Gothard or whoever, or you disagree, which means Satan gotcha, and so go against that little voice in your head and do what you have been told to do. 

It makes me want to scream  

It's too bad that it doesn't make them want to scream, isn't it?

Hard to figure out why none of them seems to find their cult thinking crazymaking, the way so many other people do. It's like they're drugged or hypnotized or something. We can only hope that Josh woke up about this piece of craziness. And maybe he did. I certainly hope that the posted pic of seemingly pregnant Anna was a misdirecting tease, and it certainly could have been.

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10 hours ago, SmallTownMom said:

The only slightly entertaining moment was watching Boob stuff a cupcake into his doughboy face while Jeremy was asking permission to court.  Then Boob has to act like he's mulling it over, when we all know he is trying to figure out how many episodes they can get out of this transaction.

Another "Christian Mingle" commercial, this time for the guys.  Sorry, I don't think anybody is going to beat a path to the TTH.

What is TTH?

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