All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[AZChristian]

9 minutes ago, Brattinella said:

We didn't get part 2 of the knife sisters! :(

It was awesome.  After the first case was over, the plaintiff became the defendant, and the bearded lady's sister became the plaintiff.  There was a whole lot of confusing textses about confusing stuff, and then the defendant said she cancelled the plaintiff's EBT card.  The wonderful ending was when JJ looked at Byrd and said, "Do you see that Exit in the back of the room?  Show them all to it."  Awesome.

[AngelaHunter]

"She had knew I had no money."  The National Guard really isn't very picky, it seems, nor is the company that hired that brain-dead moron to be a security guard. He wants to counterclaim for his uniform. Where is the reciept, JJ wants to know. "I didn't bring it with me today" - for sure he'd have it tomorrow! -  answers moron, who in spite of having no money and no home, lets his equally ridiculous and pathetic girlfriend bring two big dogs (poor, poor dogs. I bet they're dumped or dead by now) into his rented room. Plaintiff needs to get a few more smarts. Yeah, I'd let that idiot move into my home.

Jennifer, hand-on-hip, eye-rolling, chicken-necking, duck-lipped Ms. Attitude thinks the world owes her something. She has FOUR kids, when even couples both making good salaries can't afford so many children. Maybe they have to live in motels and who knows where else, but it's her right to have them. Instead of being grateful to plaintiff, she bitches haughtily about mildew and her kids getting sick. I'm sure piling into a cheap motel room, which Mom didn't pay for, is a much healthier environment for them.

7 hours ago, Brattinella said:

The mugshot of Neshdae, if you are so interested.  https://arkansas.arrests.org/Arrests/Neshdae_Denson_22294379/

OH! Now I'm doubly glad I chose not to watch this. JFC....

[SRTouch]

3 hours ago, Brattinella said:

We didn't get part 2 of the knife sisters! :(

Yep, nothing about a moron security guard or Jennifer-chicken-neck either... Instead we get a replay from the other day - both episodes, aunt (?) suing niece and looser hubby over loan, little yapper Yorkie  and one I liked seeing again, JJ taking Mocha puppy away from clueless mom and daughter - with Mocha licking Byrd after Byrd says hurry up, you know I don't like dogs.

[Sarcastico]

Quote

We didn't get part 2 of the knife sisters! :(

I still don't know what the fight was about.  Or how Kayesha's knife, hidden in her bosom, got into Neshdae's paw. Or how someone as big as Neshdae could fight anyone. I mean, she certainly had the advantage in weight, but not much else. Nor do we know anything about the mysterious baby daddy, not even his name. At least Kayesha is in L.A. and the Knife Sisters are still in Little Rock.  I hope.

[TresGatos]

On 11/20/2017 at 2:44 PM, Brattinella said:

Ugh.  Do they even do vocabulary in school anymore?

Maybe she meant to say that her kitten was an escape goat?

[Brattinella]

47 minutes ago, TresGatos said:

Maybe she meant to say that her kitten was an escape goat?

If she did, it is WRONG.  There is no such thing as an escape goat.  There is a GOAT.  There is a SCAPEGOAT, which has nothing to do with GOATS or ESCAPING.

[AngelaHunter]

There is too an "Escape Goat":

 

 

[Brattinella]

Is Ms Beal wearing a BOA???

[pagooey]

Miss Jennifer's teeth-sucking, chicken-neck-bobbing, side-eyeing attitude was EPIC, but to me the best moment was the plaintiff, citing the defendant's first complaint about plumbing conditions: "It was very very stink in the house." 

This Thanksgiving I am grateful for my DVR, so that I could run that quote back ten times and then record it on my phone and text it with zero explanation to my sister. Ahh, the miracle of technology!

[Quof]

"Me and a friend had went..."  

I wanted to strangle Ms. Beal with her boa.

[Spunkygal]

The next Samuel L. Jackson movie "Snakes in the Basement "

No way, no how, no, never, ever, ever, ever would I go back in a basement that I had seen a snake in. I am an animal lover. But I have a strong, paralyzingly hate and fear of any and all snakes. Dear Snakes: I hate you. Love, Spunkygal (and by love, I mean hate). 

[AZChristian]

Anyone else cringe a bit when Judge Judy said to Tara Davis, "You're a big girl."  She was trying to make a point that she was an adult, but seemed a little tacky to say that to someone who was well over 400 pounds.

[Quof]

How in the hell does one pronounce Ms. Perry's first name?

[Jamoche]

When someone says you can't take anything out of a place, most rational people assume that excludes pets. Your possessions can sit there during your rent dispute; your dog can't. I note that plaintiff never claims she ever asked specifically about the dog, which I sure as hell would do.

[Brattinella]

The question was never really answered: What happened to the dog?  Was it abandoned and starved to death?  I could NEVER leave a dog or any pet behind!

[Spunkygal]

2 minutes ago, Brattinella said:

The question was never really answered: What happened to the dog?  Was it abandoned and starved to death?  I could NEVER leave a dog or any pet behind!

"It ran away", or in other words, Defendant let it out.

[AngelaHunter]

2 hours ago, Quof said:

"Me and a friend had went..."  

Oh, I know. It just grates. Misty didn't seem overly bright. She goes to "visit" some old heap of a truck and thinks she's communing with her deceased pappy and thinks someone else should keep the hunk of junk around because it's sacred to her. Daddy's house must have sold for a really low price if she got paid for it in cash. Idiot.

4 hours ago, Brattinella said:

Is Ms Beal wearing a BOA???

Looked like Misty clubbed a couple big ol' rats, skinned them and sewed the hides to whatever that thing was she was wearing. I swear I could smell mothballs right through the screen.

I didn't watch most of the other cases, but caught stupid Conkle whose skull must be filled mainly with bone and who sold HIS heap to his good buddy, the toothless Dante for 3K of which Dante paid 2400$ or something like that. Seems Dante just couldn't be bothered registering the car in his name ("I just didn't.") and for good reason. Apparently he's unable to get behind the wheel without racking up a bunch of tickets. Conkle repos the beater and then expects to collect 1,000$ more than the price for which he sold it to "Wrong Way"Dante. He wants to fix it all up (because of course Dante crashed it) and sell it again. Sure, that makes sense. Didn't matter what JJ said to make him understand the absurdity of his claim, he just continued to doggedly insist he was owed the money. "I can't get that money back," Conkle whines. And whose problem is that? Most people who sell their old junkers don't get the car AND the money back. My gawd, some people are so dumb it's hard to imagine how they function in the world.

JJ to Ms. Cheney: "Do you have a police report?"

Ms. Cheney: "Yes, I do."

JJ: "I'd like to see that."

Ms C: "I don't have it WITH me."

I know I lost brain cells tonight and I'm really scared I might start saying things like, "Me and a friend had went... "

[AZChristian]

Forgot to mention - on the recent two-parter we've been discussing, I noticed this season's "frequent courtroom audience member."  During the second episode, she was sitting in the back row on the plantiff's side, leaning forward so that we'd all see her bright-blue contact lenses.  She actually looked fake, because there was no reaction on her face to what was going on . . . just a slack expression with her blue eyes and open mouth.

[Toaster Strudel]

Are you guys getting new epis? I'm stuck on 2014 repeats for the past two weeks.

[SandyToes]

37 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Are you guys getting new epis? I'm stuck on 2014 repeats for the past two weeks.

Scout around on all your channels. Maybe they've switched 'em up.  Mine changed times all over the place.  A Judge Judy Scavenger hunt!

Visiting the old car - ha.  Poor thing.  The audience was dying behind her. I did appreciate the broken TV couple - they were so funny, and Judy immediately zeroed in on what the fight started about! Hee! And had figured out the Uber bit, too, early on. I had wondered why she was picking so hard at that!

 

On this, the most stressful day of the year, I am so very thankful for all my dear Judge Judy friends!  I do have "real" friends, but they don't make me laugh nearly as much as you all do.  Y'all are always a pleasant respite when the need arises.  I came in for a break from the kitchen to check in, and you didn't disappoint!

Big ol' Texas Hugs to each and every one of you!

[snarts]

48 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Are you guys getting new epis? I'm stuck on 2014 repeats for the past two weeks.

Yes, two a day for the past few weeks (although the Detroit area station shows them out of order for some reason).  Next week it looks like we drop down to one new episode per day.

[Brattinella]

I still haven't seen part 2 of the knife ladies.  Harumph!

Big hugs to Sandy Toes and all my friends here, and Happy Thanksgiving!

[badhaggis]

1 hour ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Are you guys getting new epis? I'm stuck on 2014 repeats for the past two weeks.

Yes we are and that simply will not do! We need your commentary and gavels!!!

[configdotsys]

On 11/19/2017 at 3:42 PM, SRTouch said:

G7ytjuuh7y 9ff12ffdz vv czdc - not sure what that means, but that's what my Princess kitty says. 

My two cats were able to translate that in about a half a second and promptly walked away from me when I asked them, "What does it mean?!?"

[Zahdii]

I thought that JJ stacked the audience with wannabe actors to prevent people who would take attention away from the litigants, but lately I'm noticing the audience more and more.  The theory was supposed to be that actors would know to not pick their nose, move around too much, try to look alert, dress appropriately, etc.  But now I've noticed audience members who are obviously there to make sure they're seen on TV. 

I've seen the woman with the exaggerately open eyes while the rest of her face was slack, I wondered if she had early onset Parkinson's Disease or something. 
Not too long ago I noticed a woman who kept screwing up her face so she looked like she had a tiny mouth off on the side of her face.  I hope someone pointed out to her that she had her mouth puckered so tight and it looked like she had an offset butthole in her cheek.  Wearing bright lipstick made it look worse <shudder>.

There's another woman who keeps watching the cameras and getting really smiley and animated when she thinks she might be onscreen.  She looks bored if the camera catches her any other time.  Recently I noticed a couple of people who kept closing their eyes and looked like they were trying to catch a catnap.

[SRTouch]

1 hour ago, Zahdii said:

I thought that JJ stacked the audience with wannabe actors to prevent people who would take attention away from the litigants, but lately I'm noticing the audience more and more.  The theory was supposed to be that actors would know to not pick their nose, move around too much, try to look alert, dress appropriately, etc.  But now I've noticed audience members who are obviously there to make sure they're seen on TV. 

I've seen the woman with the exaggerately open eyes while the rest of her face was slack, I wondered if she had early onset Parkinson's Disease or something. 
Not too long ago I noticed a woman who kept screwing up her face so she looked like she had a tiny mouth off on the side of her face.  I hope someone pointed out to her that she had her mouth puckered so tight and it looked like she had an offset butthole in her cheek.  Wearing bright lipstick made it look worse <shudder>.

There's another woman who keeps watching the cameras and getting really smiley and animated when she thinks she might be onscreen.  She looks bored if the camera catches her any other time.  Recently I noticed a couple of people who kept closing their eyes and looked like they were trying to catch a catnap.

Guess I'm just not good at multitasking. Unless they really do something outrageous, I seldom notice until the reruns... another reason to space out the reruns and not show the episode twice within a couple months.

[AngelaHunter]

5 hours ago, SandyToes said:

I do have "real" friends, but they don't make me laugh nearly as much as you all do.  Y'all are always a pleasant respite when the need arises.

I have friends too, but not ONE of them watches JJ. Hmph - might be time to get new friends. And yeah, you guys have me in stitches so often. Sometimes when in serious need of a bit of levity, I go back to random, early pages on this forum and laugh all over again at the witty and delicious snark.

Happy Thanksgiving to all the ladies and gents here in the US. :)

[Spunkygal]

No one I know watches JJ and they all think I'm nuts for being an avid viewer. So I, too, say thanks to you guys for  your pithy comments and also for the unanimous head-shaking sometimes when a case is too dysfunctional to believe. I am also thankful for Byrd for supporting so many lazy losers in this country. I raise my glass of Chardonnay to you, Officer Byrd! 

[AngelaHunter]

3 hours ago, Spunkygal said:

No one I know watches JJ and they all think I'm nuts for being an avid viewer.

Actually, if I showed them Queen Esther, I could understand my friends thinking I'm nuts for believing this is not staged. We know better, but really - for real, Esther? You thought you looked stunning, coming to court (even TV court) with your dollarstore Halloween headpiece, looking as though you were going to an off-off-off Broadway audition for a really amateur, cheap and chintzy Cleopatra & Antony play? If I were seeing this show for the first time, no way would I believe these aren't actors.

3 hours ago, Spunkygal said:

I am also thankful for Byrd for supporting so many lazy losers in this country.

Imagine if Byrd got to claim all his dependants for his tax returns? He'd get back a million dollars every year, just from lazy-assed, parasitic litigants.

[Brattinella]

13 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

Actually, if I showed them Queen Esther, I could understand my friends thinking I'm nuts for believing this is not staged. We know better, but really - for real, Esther? You thought you looked stunning, coming to court (even TV court) with your dollarstore Halloween headpiece, looking as though you were going to an off-off-off Broadway audition for a really amateur, cheap and chintzy Cleopatra & Antony play? If I were seeing this show for the first time, no way would I believe these aren't actors.

Imagine if Byrd got to claim all his dependants for his tax returns? He'd get back a million dollars every year, just from lazy-assed, parasitic litigants.

Oh, man, I missed Queen Esther??? 

[SandyToes]

57 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

Actually, if I showed them Queen Esther, I could understand my friends thinking I'm nuts for believing this is not staged. We know better, but really - for real, Esther? You thought you looked stunning, coming to court (even TV court) with your dollarstore Halloween headpiece, looking as though you were going to an off-off-off Broadway audition for a really amateur, cheap and chintzy Cleopatra & Antony play?

Loved that the camera crew offered us a view from the back, too, so as to fully appreciate the dizzying array of multi-colored spandex.  I am all in for people being comfortable in their own skin, and being confident in their fashion choices.  But my best friend and I made a pact about 20 years ago -- if one of us says "No!  Thou shalt not be seen in public wearing that!"  there will be no questions asked, and the offending garment(s) replaced. I'm thinking more people (Queen Esther) need to make pacts like that...

Oh, @Brattinella, we gotta find her for you! Maybe someone has a screen shot. She's actually a reasonably attractive woman, although she did offer up the opportunity for me to explain to Mr. Toes "resting bitch face" pretty well.

[Spunkygal]

On March 26, 2015 at 8:58 AM, Milz said:

Here's the episode for those who missed HRH Queen Esther or who want to be regaled with her again.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2ZkRM5u6ks

 

NEVERMIND. It's been taken down.

Edited November 24, 2017 by Spunkygal

[Brattinella]

Youtoob sucks. Thanks for trying, though!

[AngelaHunter]

1 hour ago, SandyToes said:

Loved that the camera crew offered us a view from the back, too,

Oh, those sly camera people. I can just visualize them nudging each other, chuckling and saying, "Get that angle" as they showcase a giant shnozz in profile, or show towering, spiky shoes that no self-respecting street hooker would wear, the rear view of a skin-tight spandex dress leaving monumental butt cheeks nearly revealed, a man wearing shorts on his spindly legs or pants about 8" too long all bunched and baggy. Note: they only do this with the more despicable litigants and never with the (rare) decent, respectful person.

e.g. of one who deserved it. 

[Brattinella]

30 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

Oh, those sly camera people. I can just visualize them nudging each other, chuckling and saying, "Get that angle" as they showcase a giant shnozz in profile, or show towering, spiky shoes that no self-respecting street hooker would wear, the rear view of a skin-tight spandex dress leaving monumental butt cheeks nearly revealed, a man wearing shorts on his spindly legs or pants about 8" too long all bunched and baggy. Note: they only do this with the more despicable litigants and never with the (rare) decent, respectful person.

e.g. of one who deserved it. 

Oh, MY!  I had forgotten this jewel!  Thank you!!!

[funky-rat]

On ‎11‎/‎23‎/‎2017 at 9:51 AM, AZChristian said:

Forgot to mention - on the recent two-parter we've been discussing, I noticed this season's "frequent courtroom audience member."  During the second episode, she was sitting in the back row on the plantiff's side, leaning forward so that we'd all see her bright-blue contact lenses.  She actually looked fake, because there was no reaction on her face to what was going on . . . just a slack expression with her blue eyes and open mouth.

There's a guy that's on the defendant's side fairly often.  During the Fat Albert knife case, when the plaintiff went through her "I got pregnant" spiel, he had the biggest fake shocked look on his face.

[Brattinella]

This plaintiff today, dressed to the nines including her blinged-out grill, really thought she was gonna be a STAR from this appearance.  Preening, and slouching on the table, I'm surprised JJ didn't kick her out.  Oh wait, she DID!

[AZChristian]

In need of a break from my humdrum retiree life, I went looking for Queen Esther.  Here's her picture.  For those who didn't see this episode, she was also wearing the most colorful, ugliest and tightest pair of leggings I've ever seen - and equally ugly shoes.  When JJ said, "That's quite a costume," Esther looked at JJ and said (condescendingly), "Never a costume."  You be the judge.

 

[Brattinella]

48 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

In need of a break from my humdrum retiree life, I went looking for Queen Esther.  Here's her picture.  For those who didn't see this episode, she was also wearing the most colorful, ugliest and tightest pair of leggings I've ever seen - and equally ugly shoes.  When JJ said, "That's quite a costume," Esther looked at JJ and said (condescendingly), "Never a costume."  You be the judge.

Thank you!  I appreciate that!

[AngelaHunter]

47 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

In need of a break from my humdrum retiree life, I went looking for Queen Esther.  Here's her picture.  For those who didn't see this episode, she was also wearing the most colorful, ugliest and tightest pair of leggings I've ever seen - and equally ugly shoes. 

Don't forget about those 2" glue-on talons. Yeah, I admit those freak me out always. I again take the opportunity to praise whoever writes these captions: "Admits she wanted to fight." I assume when ready to do battle, Kwahniqua sheds the earrings, nails and the headpiece. Or maybe the nails are useful? How would I know?

[basiltherat]

How does one put in contact lenses with those talons?  Or go to the bathroom?  Or does Queen Esther have minions to do that FOR her??

[chenoa333]

21 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

Oh, those sly camera people. I can just visualize them nudging each other, chuckling and saying, "Get that angle" as they showcase a giant shnozz in profile, or show towering, spiky shoes that no self-respecting street hooker would wear, the rear view of a skin-tight spandex dress leaving monumental butt cheeks nearly revealed, a man wearing shorts on his spindly legs or pants about 8" too long all bunched and baggy. Note: they only do this with the more despicable litigants and never with the (rare) decent, respectful person.

e.g. of one who deserved it. 

I missed this one. Can someone fill me in?  I almost want to send this creature a sympathy card.

[Brattinella]

2 hours ago, basiltherat said:

How does one put in contact lenses with those talons?  Or go to the bathroom?  Or does Queen Esther have minions to do that FOR her??

I grew my nails out once to those lengths.  They were shaped well and I kept them up.  But wiping??  It didn't take long before I cut them all off and became contented with short nails.

[Jamoche]

Rerun from 2014 - I miss the days when the case wasn't what you expected: car repossession case. These days the 20 year old plaintiff car-owner would've been full of excuses why she'd missed payments but really deserved the car, but no: both sides agree she was up to date on payments. The car got repo'd on the day her payment was due - no, a week earlier! - because the guy selling it "hadn't seen it around for a couple of weeks". JJ and I: "So? It's not your car!"

Next excuse: he required full coverage so he'd get paid if she wrecked it. I missed the age of the car, but a $3000 car is probably over 10 years old and some companies (glaring at you, Geico, on behalf of my clueless 20-year-old self) won't even do that. JJ: "Still not your car!"

And where is the car now? Sold to some guy. Uh-huh. "You're a hustlah!" I missed the exact ending but it was pretty obvious where it was going.

[AngelaHunter]

OMG, I just had to watch the repeat of the dollar store Zsa Zsa and Eva Gabor, the Big Bertha twins who wear mountains of hair and who play really rough.  Can't forget "Ray", mulleted lowlife hubby of Zsa Zsa, the plaintif, and who had to do the talking even though he's an idiot. His wife is usually too zonked on pills to remember anything. Bitches play rough - Ray assaults Eva, because he's a middleaged man who loses his mind  and beats the crap out of anyone (well, out of women anyway)if someone insults him in a text. He just can't help it, you see. Def Eva, who "had came from church" says,  "He threw me to the floor and kicked me in my  stomach, my side and my head. And I said to him, "Is this the way you treat a lady?" Funny, they were. Disgusting and revolting, but funny, with their punching, biting and kicking and rubbing pepper spray into eyes and throwing Coke (with ice!) in the face. Wow. Imagine! Just class all the way. Eva is countersuing for her phone folder - whatever - and she showed JJ one that was "simular" to hers. Go home, all you murderous hillbillies.

Edited November 25, 2017 by AngelaHunter

[SandyToes]

Epic, @AZChristian!  For those who didn't see it, Judy labeled her Queen Esther - a reference to a Jewish holiday persona?

[AZChristian]

8 minutes ago, SandyToes said:

Epic, @AZChristian!  For those who didn't see it, Judy labeled her Queen Esther - a reference to a Jewish holiday persona?

Yep . . . Purim.

[jilliannatalia]

6 hours ago, SandyToes said:

Epic, @AZChristian!  For those who didn't see it, Judy labeled her Queen Esther - a reference to a Jewish holiday persona?

The Wicked Witch chin lady? Was she the one Judy labeled "Queen Esther"?

On 11/23/2017 at 9:07 PM, Brattinella said:

Oh, MY!  I had forgotten this jewel!  Thank you!!!

If I were not afraid of being charged with identity theft, I'd be tempted to steal this picture and use it as my profile pic somewhere. I still have to drag my Facebook profile pic or something similar here, but I'm too damned lazy, or else some kid who lives in my house actually needs attention when I think of doing it.

On 11/24/2017 at 6:06 PM, chenoa333 said:

I missed this one. Can someone fill me in?  I almost want to send this creature a sympathy card.

Why can such an iconic picture be given just one like by a given person?

[jilliannatalia]

On 11/21/2017 at 11:23 AM, AZChristian said:

Those are definitely not birthmarks; hair tends to grow in mirror images on both sides.  She's apparently sporting more testosterone than a lot of the male population of this country.

My husband and brothers would be proud to be so testosterone-laden.

[AZChristian]

4 hours ago, jilliannatalia said:

The Wicked Witch chin lady? Was she the one Judy labeled "Queen Esther"?

No, this is "Queen Esther" - the lady with the long nails and the Dollar Store headpiece.  

ETA, just for grins, I did what some of us (come on, admit it) do.  I tried to look her up in Facebook.  I was amazed at how many people named "Kwahniqua" there are.  Must be the new "Mary."

Edited November 26, 2017 by AZChristian