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Loren & Alexei: No Strippers Allowed


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In the car, on the way home to his parent's house I believe, Alexi said "This is where I was meant to be."  Meaning Israel. Does anyone know if he and Loren ever returned to the US after their trip there? He sounded like he was not coming back.

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On September 19, 2016 at 11:21 AM, Cranky One said:

I felt bad for Loren when she was talking about what she read online about herself. That being said, don't go on a reality show.

I think people have been much kinder to Loren than many of the others on this train wreck of a show. She's far from a Danielle. Anyone who has made fun of her, has been put on notice that she has a neurological condition.

Shes a very pretty girl, but she's something of a spoiled, neurotic drama queen, who melts down over nothing--but how much of that was part of her condition? She manages it well, but on the Israel episode, she started twitching. I was thinking how hard that was for her to have allowed TLC to show that.

it doesn't seem to matter to Alexei, and his family seem very accepting of her. Alexei has a bod, but I don't think he's hot, but she loves him, so that's all that matters. With English being his third language, and his heavy Russian accent, and English inherently being a heavily nuanced language, he's going to come off as being boorish and insensitive, even when he's not being so.

She feels bad that she took him away from his home, so she's very empathetic to him. I find I like her very much at these moments.

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^ITA... I have soft spot for Loren given I'm a special needs mom. Maybe she was a bit catered to growing up but I also understand the protective tendency that may have been there. She should try to avoid the negatives on SM AMAP & get a bit stronger; the world is just miserable at times under the best of circumstances. She seems to have a strong support system around her so she can lean on them a bit.

Her empathy toward his situation does impress me as well; they both chose to marry knowing the situation. One was going to have a big sacrifice & it seemed like he was okay with it. He may just be very homesick but returns with her anyway. He also seems to really love her. I thought it was great that he was encouraging her to accept herself as she is; he obviously does & seems supportive.  I hope they do well together.

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It's interesting that Alexei is one of the few people that haven't been accused of using their US partner for a green card. It's obvious that he wasn't looking to leave Israel and happened to meet Loren and fall in love. I just get the feeling that Alexei can't be 100% happy because he's torn. When he's in the US he's happy with Loren but missing his home and family. And when he's in Israel he's happy to be home and with family but knows that it's going to come to an end. It's a tough situation.

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I think it's because they met in person first and like you said Alexei seemed to be really torn about leaving home. It's similar to Noon and Aleksandra where they both seemed quite happy with their lives and they just happened to fall in love with someone who lived in the US.

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I really like them both a lot... i think they really are a sympathetic to each other with alexei's home sickness and loren's tourrex... hes right about her bff when i saw them together loren gets to be 6yrs old again...

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sorry but just because Loren has Tourette's doesn't mean she gets a pass on her behavior during her season like locking herself in her room when Alexei Skyped his parents, going to the strip club when he asked her not to, pressuring him to be an underwear model, and just generally acting like a spoiled brat with no regard for her fiancé's feelings during what must have been a tough transition. I only feel bad about thinking she was a cocaine user, however having Tourette's doesn't mean you're not using and secondly, that friend of hers was an obvious slutty, druggy bitch wanting to sabotage her friend's relationship. Birds of a feather flock together they say so surely Loren isn't far off. She took on the personality of her friend as soon as she stepped into their house. Red flag. I don't blame Alexei for wanting to be as far away from her friend as possible. 

He definitely loves Loren. I thought it was very sweet when she was having ticks in the car in Israel and be held her hand and said, "Relax, baby." And anyway, I know Israelis aren't itching to get to America. Many Jewish Americans move to Israel. It is our motherland and we all feel like it is home of sorts. My nephew is there right now and I know some kids with dual citizenship who are considering serving in the Israeli army. We love the country.

This relationship was one of the few on this show that didn't have any ulterior motives. The other one I can think of are Noon and Kyle. 

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Her Touretttes does not give her a pass for bitchy behavior, but her condition does seem to cause her some anxiety. When she gets nervous or upset or stressed, she probably starts twitching. 

I wont snark on her too much, since she and Alexei have a genuine love match and connection. I agree Kyle and Noon do as well.  I also liked the little Russian girl who married the Mormon boy; they seemed to be a sweet couple.

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On ‎10‎/‎9‎/‎2016 at 10:51 AM, Major Bigtime said:

I tend to think the couples who are really happy are the ones who don't keep reappearing on this show.

I don't know about that.  Given that Alexei and Loren received an all expense paid trip to Israel, I can certainly understand why they'd jump at the opportunity to reappear on the show.  I have a feeling some couples turned down the offer and others were deemed too boring (e.g. Chelsea/Yamir). The one thing that I've noticed is that all the devout Christian couples are missing (Mormons and Amy/Danny).    

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10 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I don't know about that.  Given that Alexei and Loren received an all expense paid trip to Israel, I can certainly understand why they'd jump at the opportunity to reappear on the show.  I have a feeling some couples turned down the offer and others were deemed too boring (e.g. Chelsea/Yamir). The one thing that I've noticed is that all the devout Christian couples are missing (Mormons and Amy/Danny).    

Do you think they're still together? I've gotten the vibe from their social media accounts that they're separated at the very least. Not saying you have to post a picture of your spouse everyday or something, but if you're posting weekly, even daily sometimes, it's weird to me that your spouse never crops up in any of those pics over a 6th month span. Who knows though, it could just be them reclaiming their privacy by keeping their marriage off of social media.

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16 hours ago, ChaChaSlide said:

Do you think they're still together? I've gotten the vibe from their social media accounts that they're separated at the very least. Not saying you have to post a picture of your spouse everyday or something, but if you're posting weekly, even daily sometimes, it's weird to me that your spouse never crops up in any of those pics over a 6th month span. Who knows though, it could just be them reclaiming their privacy by keeping their marriage off of social media.

There's too much that goes on in most marriages that is far too sacred for public consumption. In fact, if I wanted to have a FB page, my hubs wants no part of it, no pics of him and no discussions about our life together. I'm sure other couples have set similar standards for the same reasons hubs and I have.

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On 9/10/2016 at 4:38 AM, Nowhere said:

This relationship was one of the few on this show that didn't have any ulterior motives. The other one I can think of are Noon and Kyle. 

I would add Kirlyam and Alan, as well as Amy and Danny to that (short) list (and Paola and Russ). Certainly none this season, though. As someone said above, the common thread is having met in the real world first.

On 10/10/2016 at 11:59 PM, Adeejay said:

I don't know about that.  Given that Alexei and Loren received an all expense paid trip to Israel, I can certainly understand why they'd jump at the opportunity to reappear on the show.  I have a feeling some couples turned down the offer and others were deemed too boring (e.g. Chelsea/Yamir). The one thing that I've noticed is that all the devout Christian couples are missing (Mormons and Amy/Danny).    

I am sure some people get tired of the cameras (or don't like the "story" the producers told about them). In some cases, the financial incentive is probably meaningful (like with Russ being out of work). I usually assume that if a couple doesn't participate in a "where are they now" episode (Aya and Louis) that there is a problem, but that is not always the case. Evelin is always tweeting about how much she loves Justin.

23 hours ago, ChaChaSlide said:

Do you think they're still together? I've gotten the vibe from their social media accounts that they're separated at the very least. Not saying you have to post a picture of your spouse everyday or something, but if you're posting weekly, even daily sometimes, it's weird to me that your spouse never crops up in any of those pics over a 6th month span. Who knows though, it could just be them reclaiming their privacy by keeping their marriage off of social media.

When both go from mentioning each other all the time to nothing for six months, some sort of difficulty with the relationship seems more likely (not guaranteed, but that's what I would put my money on). I think that most of the people who go on these shows once (especially those who are persuing a career in the entertainment industry) want the publicity, and are willing to sign up again and again.

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43 minutes ago, grumpy said:

When both go from mentioning each other all the time to nothing for six months, some sort of difficulty with the relationship seems more likely (not guaranteed, but that's what I would put my money on). I think that most of the people who go on these shows once (especially those who are persuing a career in the entertainment industry) want the publicity, and are willing to sign up again and again.

Yeah I think something must have happened too. I can totally see what Arwen Everstar is saying about maintaining that sanctity and privacy, but for a couple that was once on social media (not overly ostentatious about it where every other picture is one another) to not have posted a picture of one another in 6+ months is very off. It doesn't help that Yamir hasn't been photo'd in his wedding ring in that same amount of time. I'm actually shocked that they're the first to seemingly be separated/on the verge of divorce, I would guessed Pao and Russ, Mike and Aziza, or Cassia and Jason (Mo and Dani aren't on my list because they're Ina while 'nother level.)

Complete sidebar, I'm shocked that Kirlyam hasn't had kids yet either; she was the first kind of fundie bride, and both of the Christian brides who came after her, Amy and Aleksandra, have had their firstborn.  I remember Alan was really wanting kids sooner rather than later, but they've been married at least 3 years now, no sign of pregnancy. I hope they're alright!

Edited by ChaChaSlide
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1 hour ago, grumpy said:

I would add Kirlyam and Alan, as well as Amy and Danny to that (short) list (and Paola and Russ). Certainly none this season, though. As someone said above, the common thread is having met in the real world first.

I disagree with Paola and Russ. She is way out to his league and she knows it and everybody knows it. I don't think she's a bad person though. I just think that she really wanted to model and found someone who she could tolerate, who's sort of a pushover, to help get her there. I think she cares for Russ in a way but I'll bet anything that once she starts making good money, she's out. She's already left him to go to Miami, taking her shirt off for the camera, she's out in the clubs, barely talking to him about his potentional new job, etc. He is an obvious stepping stone.

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Alexei's brother Artem apparently had a nervous breakdown. If he's still in the hospital, that would explain why he's not helping around the house. Many well educated Russians who emigrated to Israel had to take menial jobs during the great flood of immigrants in the early 90s, so that might explain his parents' depression and their ability to assimilate. It's infinitely more difficult for an adult to learn a new language than a small child since it's compulsory at school and kids are little sponges.  

Alexei would have been a very small boy at that time. I can imagine now that most of the Russian diaspora from that time had kids of their own now, there is still plenty of competition for good jobs. Older people who emigrate there are likely to have fewer options if they don't learn Hebrew, but depending on where they're from, they may have learned English or Yiddish.  Alexei speaks what sounds like Russian at home, but he learned Hebrew and English at school.  

Though Alexei's parents are no doubt grateful to have been able to leave Russia to flee the marginalization and persecution of Jews there as well as the cold, the whole experience of having to leave everything they knew behind, must have been very traumatic and isolating. Many people had to begin all over again since they have to be proficient in a language to get an equivalence there for their credentials and education.  Alexei and his brother are fully assimilated, but the parents do not seem like they are as much. Those factors color one's experience as well as limit their options to some degree. These parents made this sacrifice so their kids could have a better life. With Alexei in the US, I can see why they may be a little sad as they gave up everything for their kids who are either not there or now "checked out".

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On October 9, 2016 at 1:31 PM, Arwen Evenstar said:

Happy couples don't create the level of drama that makes reality tv the train wreck that it is.

Does that mean Mark and Niki are happy?

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On 12/10/2016 at 10:50 AM, ChaChaSlide said:

I'm actually shocked that they're the first to seemingly be separated/on the verge of divorce, I would guessed Pao and Russ, Mike and Aziza, or Cassia and Jason (Mo and Dani aren't on my list because they're Ina while 'nother level.)

Complete sidebar, I'm shocked that Kirlyam hasn't had kids yet either; she was the first kind of fundie bride, and both of the Christian brides who came after her, Amy and Aleksandra, have had their firstborn.  I remember Alan was really wanting kids sooner rather than later, but they've been married at least 3 years now, no sign of pregnancy. I hope they're alright!

I would have guessed Aya and Louis as the first failure (never tried to look them up, but they didn't participate in the follow-up show, and something never really felt right with them to me).

I saw some red flags with Aziza (tried to come to the U.S. before, Mike didn't meet her parents during his trip to Russia to meet her), but last I heard she was trying to get pregnant, ash things seemed to be going well for them.

On 12/10/2016 at 0:05 PM, Nowhere said:

I disagree with Paola and Russ. She is way out to his league and she knows it and everybody knows it. I don't think she's a bad person though. I just think that she really wanted to model and found someone who she could tolerate, who's sort of a pushover, to help get her there. I think she cares for Russ in a way but I'll bet anything that once she starts making good money, she's out. She's already left him to go to Miami, taking her shirt off for the camera, she's out in the clubs, barely talking to him about his potentional new job, etc. He is an obvious stepping stone.

We do disagree then. :) I never saw any indication that she wanted (before she met him) to leave Colombia, and she always (before "Happily Ever After?") seemed extremely into him. I am going to posit that his unemployment is putting a lot of stress on the relationship (and that the producers are manipulating things to make it appear that more ready to leav than she really is). I could be wrong of course, but I will stick with that until stronger evidence to the contrary appears.

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So all of Alexi's "friends" dropped him after he moved to the US?  Great friends!  BTW, his FAMILY had to have know the "custom" in Israel about how invites go.  They did NOTHING for him?  They sat around crying in the dark while the Wedding Planner made plans and the people in  charge of the details kept everything to themselves?  Really?  Those are horrid "friends" who cannot be bothered to attend your wedding and you are better off not having them come and having to pay for a meal for them.  

Also, why all the blame on Loren when ALEXI doesn't call his friends...he certainly has a phone?  Can email them?  Can FaceTime them?  WHY is it Loren's fault?  Seems too Producer Driven for my liking.  These kids need to get married in Israel because, obviously, his parents cannot Move On without having a ceremony there.  Get Married and Move On for god sakes. 

Edited by Eme
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3 hours ago, Eme said:

So all of Alexi's "friends" dropped him after he moved to the US?  Great friends!  BTW, his FAMILY had to have know the "custom" in Israel about how invites go.  They did NOTHING for him?  Also, why all the blame on Loren when ALEXI doesn't call his friends...he certainly has a phone?  Can email them?  Can FaceTime them?  WHY is it Loren's fault? 

The thing that bothers me is that Alexei appears to be putting the burden of their relationship on Loren. “No one wants to come to our wedding, because they are upset that you took me away.”  He seems to blame her for his overbearing family’s unhappiness. I believe I missed the scene where he was kidnapped and dragged to America.  I don’t understand why his brother is unable to take over some of the responsibilities, like changing a freaking light bulb.   Alexei is a grown man.  He should be allowed to live his life. They really need to lay off the guilt. Based on that one friend's comment about him running off to America and forgetting about his friends, I think some of them might be jealous.

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If alexei was my good friend and he didnt even say bye or keep in touch i mean theres so many options now skype calling cards... then comes back to invite me to the 2nd wedding which is pretty massive that venue is probably pricy...as a guest you have to bring a sizable gift i would probably say no thanks

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9 hours ago, Verojama said:

If alexei was my good friend and he didnt even say bye or keep in touch i mean theres so many options now skype calling cards... then comes back to invite me to the 2nd wedding which is pretty massive that venue is probably pricy...as a guest you have to bring a sizable gift i would probably say no thanks

Oh I would go to the wedding if there was an open bar.  Alexi would  get a shitty gift out of me but it doesn't matter since he doesn't stay in contact anyways. BLOOP! 

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9 hours ago, Verojama said:

If alexei was my good friend and he didnt even say bye or keep in touch i mean theres so many options now skype calling cards... then comes back to invite me to the 2nd wedding which is pretty massive that venue is probably pricy...as a guest you have to bring a sizable gift i would probably say no thanks

Yeah but if there was free food and an open bar, I'd be there.  I'd give a decent gift but like Brooklynista said, who gives a flying fudge since he doesn't keep in contact.

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1 minute ago, Neurochick said:

If alexei was my good friend and he didnt even say bye or keep in touch i mean theres so many options now skype calling cards... then comes back to invite me to the 2nd wedding which is pretty massive that venue is probably pricy...as a guest you have to bring a sizable gift

That's when you buy a milk frother from BB&B.  The $25 frenemy wedding gift. 

(Don't feel too bad, they'll use it more than that convection oven they registered for.)

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Alexei's family and friends SUCK. What a bunch of whiners. Kids grow up, get married and move away. The fact Alexei no longer lives in his parent's basement means they did their job as parents. Stop w/ the guilt trips already...

 

And why does Alexei shrug every time he speaks?

I don't want to be an underwear model (shrug).

I don't have to like your friend Sarah (shrug).

So now they know you have Tourette's Syndrome (shrug).

Maybe because we could move to Israel (shrug).

One tone of voice, one facial expression, one gesture. What a bore...

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The culture and mindset in Israel is very very different than here in the US. First of all, family is very very important over there and living hours or plane rides away from family is not a very happy thing over there. 

On 10/8/2016 at 9:38 PM, Nowhere said:

sorry but just because Loren has Tourette's doesn't mean she gets a pass on her behavior during her season like locking herself in her room when Alexei Skyped his parents, going to the strip club when he asked her not to, pressuring him to be an underwear model, and just generally acting like a spoiled brat with no regard for her fiancé's feelings during what must have been a tough transition. I only feel bad about thinking she was a cocaine user, however having Tourette's doesn't mean you're not using and secondly, that friend of hers was an obvious slutty, druggy bitch wanting to sabotage her friend's relationship. Birds of a feather flock together they say so surely Loren isn't far off. She took on the personality of her friend as soon as she stepped into their house. Red flag. I don't blame Alexei for wanting to be as far away from her friend as possible. 

He definitely loves Loren. I thought it was very sweet when she was having ticks in the car in Israel and be held her hand and said, "Relax, baby." And anyway, I know Israelis aren't itching to get to America. Many Jewish Americans move to Israel. It is our motherland and we all feel like it is home of sorts. My nephew is there right now and I know some kids with dual citizenship who are considering serving in the Israeli army. We love the country.

This relationship was one of the few on this show that didn't have any ulterior motives. The other one I can think of are Noon and Kyle. 

Maybe. However if you go to the shopping malls any city in the USA you will see scores of Israelis working there, agresssively selling stuff , and on the side trying to get greencard wives to stay here and make some $$$$ that they cant make in Israel. This is NOT Alexei however. 

Edited by Matias130
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2 minutes ago, Matias130 said:

The culture and mindset in Israel is very very different than here in the US. First of all, family is very very important over there and living hours or plane rides away from family is not a very happy thing over there. 

Did Alexi not know this when he hopped on a plane to marry Loren and live in the US? 

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On 8/10/2016 at 11:38 PM, Nowhere said:

 

He definitely loves Loren. I thought it was very sweet when she was having ticks in the car in Israel and be held her hand and said, "Relax, baby." And anyway, I know Israelis aren't itching to get to America. Many Jewish Americans move to Israel. It is our motherland and we all feel like it is home of sorts. My nephew is there right now and I know some kids with dual citizenship who are considering serving in the Israeli army. We love the country.

Israel is a beautiful country, but life there is hard. Decent and good jobs are really hard to come by and wages suck. The cost of living (especially housing) is really high. Americans move there, but they will have to lower their standards of living. A lot of them don't make it and return. 

Unlike other countries, not every single israeli itches to move to the United States but a lot of them do. I live in a city with a _ton_ of Israeli immigrants, and they're almost all in scam marriages to non-Jewish Americans to get their green cards and ultimately citizenship. It's totally normal and acceptable for them. Alexei having a simple path to the US with his real girlfriend is definitely a lot easier than other Israelis have it. They need to work, find someone for a scam marriage, pay them a ton of money, faking the whole process... Alexei had it all handed to him on a silver platter so I can see his peers being jealous.  They would have to come as a tourist and struggle to make it.

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On 10/18/2016 at 6:03 PM, Nutella said:

Israel is a beautiful country, but life there is hard. Decent and good jobs are really hard to come by and wages suck. The cost of living (especially housing) is really high. Americans move there, but they will have to lower their standards of living. A lot of them don't make it and return. 

Unlike other countries, not every single israeli itches to move to the United States but a lot of them do. I live in a city with a _ton_ of Israeli immigrants, and they're almost all in scam marriages to non-Jewish Americans to get their green cards and ultimately citizenship. It's totally normal and acceptable for them. Alexei having a simple path to the US with his real girlfriend is definitely a lot easier than other Israelis have it. They need to work, find someone for a scam marriage, pay them a ton of money, faking the whole process... Alexei had it all handed to him on a silver platter so I can see his peers being jealous.  They would have to come as a tourist and struggle to make it.

exactly. same shtick where i live too. Im sure they are jealous because he will have an easier life without going through that whole process. 

On 10/18/2016 at 1:58 PM, BradandJanet said:

Did Alexi not know this when he hopped on a plane to marry Loren and live in the US? 

I'm sure he did, but chose to marry her anyway, but this is why we see him going through so much anxiety, which I believe is 100% not fake. 

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On October 17, 2016 at 11:31 PM, Verojama said:

If alexei was my good friend and he didnt even say bye or keep in touch i mean theres so many options now skype calling cards... then comes back to invite me to the 2nd wedding which is pretty massive that venue is probably pricy...as a guest you have to bring a sizable gift i would probably say no thanks

This is why they should  have stipulated on their invitations that they don't need anything and that the gift of your presence or a donation to the guest's favorite charity in lieu of a gift.  Otherwise it looks like a gift grab, but if they had done it right, shows their hearts to be in the right place.  Alexei should be familiar with the customs and etiquette over there and know what was expected of him/them. 

It's also not Loren's fault that HE didn't say goodbye or keep in touch with his friends. Particularly with texts, email, Skype, and SM--NO excuse, Akexei.  If he was my friend, I don't think I'd like it either, but I wouldn't turn him away if he offered me an olive branch.  No doubt, his friend is making him do the 3 times penance.  I am aware of the middle eastern custom of no not meaning no until one refuses three times. Depending on regional customs, mileage may vary.

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34 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

This is why they should  have stipulated on their invitations that they don't need anything and that the gift of your presence or a donation to the guest's favorite charity in lieu of a gift.  Otherwise it looks like a gift grab, but if they had done it right, shows their hearts to be in the right place.  Alexei should be familiar with the customs and etiquette over there and know what was expected of him/them. 

It's also not Loren's fault that HE didn't say goodbye or keep in touch with his friends. Particularly with texts, email, Skype, and SM--NO excuse, Akexei.  If he was my friend, I don't think I'd like it either, but I wouldn't turn him away if he offered me an olive branch.  No doubt, his friend is making him do the 3 times penance.  I am aware of the middle eastern custom of no not meaning no until one refuses three times. Depending on regional customs, mileage may vary.

Yes, you are right, in Israel every wedding guest simply gives an envelope with cash, that is the custom over there, so often times an entire wedding will be paid for by the guests gifts. I think his friends have some hostility towards Loren because she is American (thats just how it sometimes is over there) and he left their country, which they have fierce patriotic feelings for. My sister lives in Israel and joined the army when she was 18. Its def considered an honorable thing to move to Israel if you are Jewish but likely will have to slightly lower standards of living and the comforts/luxuries we have here (the biggest one being, relatively peaceful environment here in the US, in Israel even in shopping malls you have to go through a baggage claim type of security.  )

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On 10/18/2016 at 0:17 PM, balisticnikki said:

Alexei's family and friends SUCK. What a bunch of whiners. Kids grow up, get married and move away. The fact Alexei no longer lives in his parent's basement means they did their job as parents. Stop w/ the guilt trips already...

 

And why does Alexei shrug every time he speaks?

I don't want to be an underwear model (shrug).

I don't have to like your friend Sarah (shrug).

So now they know you have Tourette's Syndrome (shrug).

Maybe because we could move to Israel (shrug).

One tone of voice, one facial expression, one gesture. What a bore...

lol.... now i see how he shrugs all the time. However, in Israel living in your parents home until you are mid to late 20s is fairly normal, kids work and get college educated but housing is extremely extremely expensive. Plus, families are much closer and unified in Israel than here in America, and a child living a plane ride away is an extremely hard thing to deal with. Alexei didnt necesarily become independent by moving out of his parents home, I believe he is dependent on Loren and her family now. He is a very very good looking guy though, I don't see why other have said he wasnt.... Loren needs to stop pushing the model thing though because he looks like he has no desire to pose for a camera, seems like a quieter type, which only enhances his attractiveness IMO.

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What couldn't they have just thrown a big "Good old Alexei (remember him?) is Back in Town with his American Wife" party and invite everyone to come without advertising it as a wedding? I agree with others, it's tacky to expect gifts from people that you've totally lost touch with, no excuse for that in this day. During the party, they could have a rabbi bless their marriage and maybe even have a slideshow from the American ceremony if anyone is interested in seeing them under the chuppah, smashing the glass, feeding each other cake, etc. 

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I thought the Israeli wedding was for his ~parents~ and close relatives? Like for religious or cultural reasons? Why did they need to book a huge venue for 100+ ppl? With the amount they are spending on a second wedding, they could have flown his parents to the US to see the original wedding.

IDK. My mother is from a small, family-oriented, nationalistic country (Ireland) and she left to marry my father (American). No one from Ireland got to see the wedding and no one guilt tripped her for marrying an American and moving away. She/we would visit once a year while her mother (my grandmother) was still alive. I just don't understand the BS they're on. Loren asks Alexei's father if he'd been fishing lately...and he even uses that to mess with her by saying, "I don't have anyone to go with anymore..." womp womp Don't you have a wife, other sons, friends, neighbors????

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44 minutes ago, Matias130 said:

Yes, you are right, in Israel every wedding guest simply gives an envelope with cash, that is the custom over there, so often times an entire wedding will be paid for by the guests gifts. I think his friends have some hostility towards Loren because she is American (thats just how it sometimes is over there) and he left their country, which they have fierce patriotic feelings for. My sister lives in Israel and joined the army when she was 18. Its def considered an honorable thing to move to Israel if you are Jewish but likely will have to slightly lower standards of living and the comforts/luxuries we have here (the biggest one being, relatively peaceful environment here in the US, in Israel even in shopping malls you have to go through a baggage claim type of security.  )

Money as a wedding gift is almost universal, except here, it seems. I've been to Indian  and Pakistani weddings where that is the custom. Any Jewish weddings I have attended have been for older couples who requested nothing, or asked for charitable donations in lieu of gifts.

Israel is home to a lot of very well educated and multilingual people, so there is quite the competition for skilled jobs, and with that, I imagine a lot of over educated and underemployed people. I'm sure engineers working in department stores and happy for the work is a likely scenario, with a social safety net to fill in the gaps. I know a few people who moved to Israel who are so muchhappier now; everything was all about the pursuit of the almighty dollar while they were stateside and all the stress that caused them.  Israel is a spiritual home for many.

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6 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Money as a wedding gift is almost universal, except here, it seems. I've been to Indian  and Pakistani weddings where that is the custom. Any Jewish weddings I have attended have been for older couples who requested nothing, or asked for charitable donations in lieu of gifts.

Israel is home to a lot of very well educated and multilingual people, so there is quite the competition for skilled jobs, and with that, I imagine a lot of over educated and underemployed people. I'm sure engineers working in department stores and happy for the work is a likely scenario, with a social safety net to fill in the gaps. I know a few people who moved to Israel who are so muchhappier now; everything was all about the pursuit of the almighty dollar while they were stateside and all the stress that caused them.  Israel is a spiritual home for many.

Life in Israel is hard. People struggle to make ends meet, a lot of people have debts. It's true, their lives aren't as materialistic on the surface and more basic. Don't let that fool you - they are materialistic, they just can't really afford it... But they love stuff as much as the next American. 

I think most of this wedding drama is scripted. It says a lot about Alexey that he's blaming it all on Loren.

Edited by Nutella
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1 hour ago, Nutella said:

Life in Israel is hard. People struggle to make ends meet, a lot of people have debts. It's true, their lives aren't as materialistic on the surface and more basic. Don't let that fool you - they are materialistic, they just can't really afford it... But they love stuff as much as the next American. 

I think most of this wedding drama is scripted. It says a lot about Alexey that he's blaming it all on Loren.

I'd believe they are just as materialistic there as anywhere else. I had a Jewish friend who I lost touch with over 20 years ago.  Joel was always going on about how he wanted to live in Israel, but he had a high paying job and a huge house and he couldn't give all that up.

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Alexei is all:

Apparently I was supposed to tell people when I was moving and occasionally reach out to them to see if they were alive?!?

                                            shrug.gif

That's not an Israeli custom you forgot about, pal, it's universal etiquette. 

Methinks you weren't the bomb-ass friend you thought you were.

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Alex needs to have his wife's back! Why is he letting his friends and family treat her like crap? Why doesn't he say "I love this woman, I made this decision and you need to respect that"? I didn't think Alex was a pussy, but get him in his home environment and he is just that. Sure Loren is a whiney, needy, drama queen...but he knew that before he married her and you don't let others treat the one you love badly. Especially "friends" that meant so little to you that you didn't bother to stay in touch.

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I suspect he had a huge group of friends but maybe only a select few that meant anything to him, so he just moved on - did they try to contact him? Maybe if they had checked to see how he was doing he would've reciprocated; it takes both to keep a relationship going.  Loren is his wife now & those women 'friends' were way out of line. I agree he should've had his wife's back there.

Honestly if those people don't want to come he should not let it bother him; he hasn't seen or heard from them or contacted them himself for a year, so why push something they don't care about anymore? Stop chasing them & getting smacked down for it. Get a smaller venue & have the folks there who truly give a crap (& only if they don't get nasty with your wife - those don't belong at your re-wedding). The worst thing to do is just try to fill a room; don't waste the money.

Then afterward keep in touch with them & let the rest have a nice life.

Edited by gonecrackers
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6 hours ago, pickle said:

going against the grain but Alexei not keeping in touch with a huge chunk of his friends made me wonder if he had a super hard time transitioning to life in the US. it makes me think that he chose not to keep in touch because a) he was embarrassed that he was having a difficult time b) he wanted to protect Lauren. it makes me think that he didn't want to hear "I told you so" or "why are you moving there instead of her coming here?" kind of questions or discussions. when he said, "I can love Lauren more than I can explain" -- it made me wonder if many of his friends had asked him why he is moving across the world for a girl and why she can't move to Israel if she loves him.

That's a good point... some people tend to isolate when going through difficult times. The problem is it's hard to explain why it's happening before or after, & like you said he may also want to protect his wife. Then the other people often hold it against you because they don't know what's happening or get it, & it's difficult for any relationships to bounce back.

But that's why I wondered if any of them tried to contact him. It would've at least kept up some communication. I think when people are going through something obvious - & just getting married & moving to a new country is stressful - it would be nice if their 'people' back home could try to connect now & then, instead of getting all huffy about him not contacting them during a difficult time.  They kind of let him go, too.

It is awkward to try to plan a wedding & include them now, but they don't have to give him such a hard time about it either, especially if they didn't contact him at all either. I think he expected to come home after a possibly difficult year & feel welcomed, so of course he's disappointed. But they are being obnoxious about it (IMHO).

As far as her moving there, I've noticed that mentioned here & there on the boards about the Americans. However, due to language/cultural differences (especially language), it would be very difficult for them to work, meet people, have a life wherever. Whereas in the US, it's a melting pot & probably easier to find a niche somewhere. At the very least all of them seem to speak English well enough to work, so they have that up on the Americans as far as settling in here, as opposed to the American elsewhere.

Edited by gonecrackers
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