S15.E15: Ryan from Canada

[candall]

I spent 50 minutes thinking Ryan didn't have much of a shot at recovery.

Then it turned out he was in Canada and I thought, "Oh, good!  Maybe he'll get that two YEARS of intensive counseling he needs instead of 90 days to detox and scratch some surface issues before he's out the door."

 

Nope.  Ryan checks out against professional advice and steams right back into the home situation--which hasn't changed one iota from when he left.  The facility staffer gives us a carefully worded statement that tries for upbeat and doesn't fool anyone.

 

I just have to make sure I don't relapse.

 

Sigh.

[IvySpice]

Boy, were these parents wrapped in the addiction -- giving him BEER? In front of his KIDS? Drinking WITH him? WTH?

I didn't know what to make of the ex giving Ryan all that access to the kids. And how/when did she get custody back from Ryan's mom? Unsupervised visits when you know he's going to be using around the kids = bad idea.

[Enero]

All these people, with the exception of the daughters and maybe the brother, were horrible, including the ex- girlfriend. When she said she let the girls see Ryan because they needed their father, it was infuriating. He's not their father I wanted to tell her. At that point he was just a sperm donor who was incapable of being the father those girls needed. Again they were all awful and I do not believe for one second that Ryan will remain clean. Hasn't he been here before? Didn't they say during the episode that he'd been to treatment a couple of times before, left early and thus relasped?

Did anyone else think the friend might've needed help himself? Perhaps he was ill due to something other than drugs, but he didn't look well. I wondered if he was also heavily into drugs.

I feel really bad for the daughters. Their entire family is toxic. I also felt bad for the poor dog who deserves so much better than Ryan. 

Edited August 23, 2016 by Enero

[Court]

I found everyone unlikeable but the daughters. I do like the interventionist. 

They need to quit letting his daughters see him. It's so unhealthy.

[Chaos Theory]

Well that was a shitstorm.  My interpretation was a bad divorce  then mom picked the wrong babysitter to watch her kids and dad blamed her for not spending the rest of her life sitting at home.  There was a lot of guilt and blame being thrown around and the interventionist tried to nip it but he didn't quite do it.   Honestly I think the family needs help not just Ryan.

[Earl Is Dead]

Once again, an emphasis on the family aspect of this disease and how everyone needed to get help would have been so valuable.  I want to believe any good interventionist is delivering this message and that it's just not shown.  So sad to see him go right back (literally) to his family's open arms.

Loved that dog though, and his little snow boots. 

[mythoughtis]

So Dad thinks he was a perfect father, and all the problems are the Mom's fault. Right. Dear Dad and Mom.... don't participate in the addiction with the addicts.

I didn't see anything 'amazing' about anyone in this family.  The brother appeared normal, the parents appeared dysfunctional and immature for their age.   The kids were normal.  Didn't get a read on the ex.  She may have no choice in letting Ryan see them as his Mom may have actual legal custody even if the Mom has physical custody. 

[Canada]

Wow, this family really is messed up.  I found it really odd when people were talking about Ryan and his time as a drug dealer.  They sounded almost proud of him, like he was a successful businessman or something.  He was a criminal! 

Those parents were such assholes.  Dad blaming Mom for everything.  Dad and Mom encouraging his addiction with the sharing of booze.  Mom interrupting what actually was a pretty good visit between Ryan and his kids and making it all go to hell.

And he went right back into that environment.  Sadly, I don't think he has a chance.

[grisgris]

Sad situation. The mother's voice would have driven me to use. Geez ... She sounded half the time like she'd been huffing on helium.

I felt so sorry to the teenaged daughters and the poor dog.

[candall]

On ‎8‎/‎28‎/‎2016 at 6:18 PM, grisgris said:

The mother's voice would have driven me to use. Geez ... She sounded half the time like she'd been huffing on helium.

You wouldn't have minded if you'd watched the old (2012?) episode that aired right before this one.  The mother high-whined, sobbing and gasping, the whole way through her "intervention letter."  And then the sister did the same thing!  It was like ground glass in the ears.

[StayingAfterSunday]

On 8/23/2016 at 8:50 AM, Earl Is Dead said:

Once again, an emphasis on the family aspect of this disease and how everyone needed to get help would have been so valuable.  I want to believe any good interventionist is delivering this message and that it's just not shown.  So sad to see him go right back (literally) to his family's open arms.

Loved that dog though, and his little snow boots. 

I loved that doggie, too, and his little boots.   Ryan took much better care of his dog than he did himself.  This alone could have been used to the family and interventionist's advantage.  When interventionist, Andrew Galloway, began his understandable - and predictable - pitch to Ryan persuading him to enter treatment, it seemed a futile endeavor, even when the usual heartstrings were pulled, including the most promising one:  "Do it for your daughters."  What would have sealed the deal on the spot would have been a simple, "Do it for your dog."  No doubt Ryan would have dissolved into tears and agreed to treatment much more readily.  I do not say this in a disrespectful or sarcastic way at all, nor am I undermining the love Ryan feels for his children; rather, I am being realistic.   It is no secret that an addicted person often loses contact or custody of his (or her) children throughout periods of active addition, during which time a pet has remained steadfast and loyal, loving unconditionally and without judgment.  

Edited September 4, 2016 by StayingAfterSunday