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The Other Duggars: The Lost Girls and Amy


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4 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

This is sad and a horrible way to pass.  Do they have a fence around the pool?  Not that that would have necessarily helped but with all those kids I would be surprised if there were not.  

If Mary suffered a massive stroke or heart attack, she was probably dead before she ever hit the water.  I suspect that’s what happened.

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5 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

If Mary suffered a massive stroke or heart attack, she was probably dead before she ever hit the water.  I suspect that’s what happened.

I don't think so. The coroner would be able to tell that from his examination/autopsy and the official cause of death wouldn't be drowning.  

Edited by Temperance
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Yeah if it is being ruled as a drowning, it's because they found water in her lungs, not just because she was found in the water. 😞

That of course doesn't preclude her falling into the water because of a stroke or heart attack, but she wouldn't have been dead instantly if she had water in her lungs. That's what happened with my neighbor. 😞 

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Anybody watch Amy’s last IG story?  She’s cleaning out her grandma’s closet, and posted a very heartfelt verbal thank you to anyone supporting them.  She looks like she’s just spent the last few days mourning and has just made peaceful with the situation...meanwhile Jill is happily posting a bouquet of $10 flowers she got from somewhere

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(edited)

I know that everyone is raking Jill over the coals, but if Mary really did suffer “a few health problems” before she died, drowning may have been preferable then laying as a quasi-vegetable for the next few years until the rest of the vital organs gave out.  It’s still not really clear if Deanna found her quickly and if the drowning would have really mattered in the end.

I had one grandmother that hung on for years and another one that passed relatively quickly.  Everyone agreed that the one who passed quickly had a much higher quality of life in her later years.  I think even the grandmothers themselves would have had the same sentiment. 

Edited by Saylii
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Poor Deanna.  If she is the one who found Mary, I can see how that would impact Amy and increase her annoyance at her cousin.  Losing Mary would be tough enough without worrying about the state of Deanna’s mental health after finding her mother floating in a pool. Good grief, that’s a lot to digest. 

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1 hour ago, Saylii said:

I know that everyone is raking Jill over the coals, but if Mary really did suffer “a few health problems” before she died, drowning may have been preferable then laying as a quasi-vegetable for the next few years until the rest of the vital organs gave out.  It’s still not really clear if Deanna found her quickly and if the drowning would have really mattered in the end.

I get what you’re saying but nobody would choose to drown.

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41 minutes ago, yogi2014L said:

No hate from me about Amy calling Jill out on twitter. Jill has it coming, IMO! If she can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen . Completely tone deaf post. You go Amy. 

I wish Amy would call out Lauren too, lol.

Amy won't call out Lauren;  she barely knows her. I doubt they've exchanged much more than basic pleasantries. Same goes for Kendra. 

The only Duggar wife I imagine Amy has had a real conversation with is Abbie. She's older and has worked outside the home. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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21 minutes ago, Oldernowiser said:

I get what you’re saying but nobody would choose to drown.

This is why I am convinced that she was paralyzed due to an ancillary episode. She was alive when she fell in the pool but was unable to  save herself.  😢

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Not to defend Jill, but this is completely in character for her.  Jill has always been the good daughter, the dutiful daughter, the 'Rah, rah, go team! Yay!' one.  There are many examples on the old show of her trying to put the brightest spin on everything.  Her post doesn't surprise me at all.

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2 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

Poor Deanna.  If she is the one who found Mary, I can see how that would impact Amy and increase her annoyance at her cousin.  Losing Mary would be tough enough without worrying about the state of Deanna’s mental health after finding her mother floating in a pool. Good grief, that’s a lot to digest. 

I read Amy stopped following Jill, Joy, and Anna on sm.

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2 hours ago, yogi2014L said:

No hate from me about Amy calling Jill out on twitter. Jill has it coming, IMO! If she can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen . Completely tone deaf post. You go Amy. 

I wish Amy would call out Lauren too, lol.

Oh if she’d only stay out of the kitchen! 

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(edited)

Thanks--that's interesting! I found Joy's posts one of the least potentially infuriating and more heartfelt ones, so if she unfollowed Joy over that, it puzzles me more than Amy unfollowing the others. 

Edited by Zella
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25 minutes ago, Zella said:

Are there any Duggar cousins she's still following?

Jinger, Jana, Jessa, and Jeremy. She doesn't follow John and Abbie either, not sure if she ever did.

Edit: did not see Sew Sumis post. I forgot to check Joe and Kendra.

Joy's post seemed fine to me. Maybe they got into, or something, and Joy took Jill's side.

Edited by Lunera
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4 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

This may be a reach, but I always got the feeling that at times the Duggars and Amy tolerated each other largely out of respect for Grandma Duggar.  There are those relatives that you love and want to strangle, but grit your teeth because someone older and wiser told you to shut up.  My mom’s best friend just died and within a few days enemy lines were drawn in her family. It’s sad to watch but when that person who unites you is gone and you’re grieving, it can be difficult to maintain civility. 

I agree with this although I'm pretty sure Amy also tolerated the Duggars because she's been hopeful for years that they were her road to fame.

Maybe now she's going to have a kid she's re-evaluated and it's finally dawned on her that the fame she's been chasing is never gonna happen. So she can stop pretending to be the "rebel Duggar" and constantly using her connection with them to put out feelers in search of media attention. 

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4 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

Yet, at the same time, I wonder if she'll be the one to write the "tell-all" book we've been waiting for?  I wonder if her close relationship with Mary was the main reason she didn't sell out and air the dirty laundry.   She's sitting on a goldmine given the right management.

Interesting question! 

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13 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

Yet, at the same time, I wonder if she'll be the one to write the "tell-all" book we've been waiting for?  I wonder if her close relationship with Mary was the main reason she didn't sell out and air the dirty laundry.   She's sitting on a goldmine given the right management.

I would be interested if Amy can write that tell-all without delving into Mary's part in that shitshow.  I still feel that one of JB's progeny needs to write that book because he or she was living in the house when everything went down.  It is possible that Amy had no knowledge of what went on with Josh.  

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14 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I would be interested if Amy can write that tell-all without delving into Mary's part in that shitshow.  I still feel that one of JB's progeny needs to write that book because he or she was living in the house when everything went down.  It is possible that Amy had no knowledge of what went on with Josh.  

IIRC back in the day I read comments that when the Duggs first hit their teevee fame, Mary and Josh were both "working the phones" to get as many freebies as possible. I assume that was in part "product placement" on the show. I still remember seeing shots of Jana, Jessa and other Duggar daughters, sitting on beds in (I think) the TTH girls' dorm. Using large state of the art Apple MacBook Pro laptops. The Apple logo was prominently displayed. No way in hell Mr. Used-Flip-Flops for his kids, paid the going rate for those!

Those comments were supposedly from locals who knew the Duggars, who also said JB had a habit of stiffing contractors he hired. I wasn't so sure about all that until Joshgate broke and then I decided that yeah, somebody was certainly working the phones to get those nice products comped to the family, and it wouldn't surprise me that Mr. "Buy Used and Save the Difference" would hang on to every nickel when it came to paying people he'd hired to do work for him.

I doubt that Grandma Mary was a saint or a spectacular sinner. May she RIP.

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24 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I would be interested if Amy can write that tell-all without delving into Mary's part in that shitshow.  I still feel that one of JB's progeny needs to write that book because he or she was living in the house when everything went down.  It is possible that Amy had no knowledge of what went on with Josh.  

True, but as close as Famy and Mary were, I am sure they "talked" quite a bit about Smuggar and any other dysfunctional crap that went down at the TTH.  Famy may know better than to burn bridges but you never know.

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8 hours ago, Zella said:

Thanks--that's interesting! I found Joy's posts one of the least potentially infuriating and more heartfelt ones, so if she unfollowed Joy over that, it puzzles me more than Amy unfollowing the others. 

Me too. Joy's post was sweet. Maybe there is more going on we don't know about. 

Edited by libgirl2
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20 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Most states in the US require a death notice be posted in some way that is searchable for creditors.  These are simple 1-2 sentence death notices giving the legal name and last legal residence of the deceased.  I believe this is a holdover from before the internet and databases when the only way to disseminate this information was in a newspaper   I can tell you from personal experience, large credit card companies have employees on the payroll who comb these notices.  There is no such thing as too soon for debt collectors.

The reverse mortgage people found out my dad died because they have people looking for death notices of those they give money to.    No one is leaving money on the table.

Wonder if Mary had any debt??

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Not judging their mourning, but they can make $$ off SM on any number of weddings, pregnancies, births, kid pics, etc. etc. A simple acknowledgement of the death & some time off posting would've been appropriate.

I really hope she didn't know what happened & was gone before she went underwater. If I were a family member, given the circumstances, I wouldn't be smiling big for SM hits, but, I'm not them.

We haven't seen Deanna smiling online yet, have we?  Amy certainly isn't smiling. I think there are brands of Christians who feel unable to grieve properly, because if the person is deemed saved then they're in a better place, therefor no reason to mourn. But, even Jesus wept over his good friend Lazarus, & He was going to bring him back to life! 

My brother recently died suddenly; he was in his early 50s. When I arrived at the house there was a cop there & the coroner, but no autopsy was ordered because the death "appeared natural". So, just from appearances, they deemed cause of death a "massive heart attack".  He's older than me but I still felt his age was on the younger side for that. We do have a history of heart issues in the family but everyone else lived up to 70-80s. The coroner told me he was "borderline", as in, not really "young" for a heart attack, therefor no autopsy. He had just had a physical & there were absolutely no signs (which I realize can happen). I didn't push it but it still bugs me not to ever know - for sure.

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I kind of tend to give them a pass on smiling...I think most of us smile as an almost Pavolvian response when our picture is being taken - these were not paparazzi shots where they were trying to escape the camera, but posed photos. Between that and the fact that they have been trained to "keep sweet" no matter what, I don't know that it's in them to do anything but smile. If they are a bit dazed by the events, that might actually be even more reason that they would default to the smile - it's probably their standard facial expression when they don't quite know what else to do.

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My GUESS is this:

The J boys (whoever the heck they are) graduated from ALERT. Didn't they post they were going to have a party for the boys?  Where did I hear that? 

I bet they were going to have a pool party at some point and Mary was cleaning up the pool, skimming it etc.  Mary was a high energy kind of person so I could see her doing that.  Tidying up and getting things ready. 

Maybe Mary got dizzy or simply slipped?  

I am so relieved that pregnant Amy did not find Mary.  That would've been beyond cruel. A shock like that could've caused a medical emergency for Amy. 

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41 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

I almost drowned twice it’s not that bad.

I near drowned as a child. It was scary, yet peaceful.

It's possible she didn't have a stroke/MI, but simply slipped and fell in. It's horrible to think about.

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5 hours ago, luvmylabs said:

Is it considered poor form NOT to post something on sm when a friend/loved one dies?  Reading all the criticisms, maybe Joe and Abbie decided to keep their grief private.

Ding Ding Ding!  We have a winner here!  Since there is no privacy anymore we will be harshly judged no matter what we do.  Being a bit older now, I grew up before we had the double edged sword of Social Media.  I have a feeling you did too.  Maybe JD & A were smart enough to avoid the inevitable piranha type feeding frenzy that would follow any comments they might make.  I'm starting to wonder if some of the clan are wising up and getting good advice (finally) concerning SM activity.  I certainly have no wish to pick on family members who are grieving a sudden unexpected passing of a loved one.  Unfortunately , some in this family make it entirely too easy for the more predatory out there to pick their bones clean.  Someone with a better sense of 21st century social norms would be a great help if if the younger of the clan want to avoid each post becoming the latest faux pas.  Is there a law that says a death in your family requires a testimonial on Facebook or whatever?  Some things can be private........maybe for now.  By the way, I like how you think.  Rant Over!

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