Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[CouchTater]

That's funny, I'd choose Jessa as a seatmate for a plane ride.  Not because she seems more likeable, but because I think she'd be more quiet and reserved, which is what I consider the best seatmate!

[Jeeves]

1 minute ago, CouchTater said:

That's funny, I'd choose Jessa as a seatmate for a plane ride.  Not because she seems more likeable, but because I think she'd be more quiet and reserved, which is what I consider the best seatmate!

That's a good point! Hmm . . . 

[CouchTater]

Just now, Jeeves said:

That's a good point! Hmm . . . 

Unless Jessa had a baby on her lap.  Then all bets are off.

[JoanArc]

Quote

Sorry this went a bit off topic, but the point is that if Jill is on reasonably good terms with a handful of neighbors, that may be more like "real" friendship than she has ever experienced, and, also likely, just as much as many other people from normal upbringings really have

I’m sorry, I was a bit glib in my assessment of Jill.  It’s very difficult for anyone over the age of their mid-20s especially if they are married and have children, to make friends. Lots of acquaintances, or activity partners, but good friends tend to just get harder the older you are.  Jill was raised in a cult, and was indirectly taught that anyone her parents allow her around to speak to  for more than 10 minutes is your best friend. I think when they met several fundie families on the TV show, they were all instantly best friends even though they didn’t have any idea who they were really talking to.  And, the concept of ministry is basically just there so that these families can drone on and on about themselves incessantly. 

 That said, I do think Jill is definitely still somewhat of a user like her parents are. She just doesn’t know any better, and has a lot of conditioning to make our friendship one-sided.   Everything is a bit of a grift, or an opportunity for her to over share about her life for you pretty much shut up and nod approvingly. Plus, her and Derreck’s tolerance for deviation from their life script is not really there.  But, as ever, I am optimistic that if she continues with therapy and keeps working on herself a lot of this can be overcome.

Edited July 15, 2021 by JoanArc

[ozziemom]

Most of my longtime friends are people I either worked with or went to school with. Jill never did either of those things. She seems to have neighbors and church friends/acquaintances but as a SHM, I’m sure it’s tough for her. Plus it was drilled into the Duggars that either Meechelle or a sibling was your “best friend” 

[satrunrose]

I think one thing that is making Jill stand out at the moment is that she seems to be one of the only (if not the only) Duggar who knows what she doesn't know. Taking their lead from Jim Boob, the others seem to fall somewhere between believing that there's nothing they don't know (JereME and Jing, Anna and her spouse, Jed! and maybe Jana (although that may just be marketing, I think what Jana really thinks, feels and believes is an utter mystery)) and thinking anything they don't know just isn't worth knowing (Jessa and Joy).

Interestingly, Jill (aided and abetted by Derrick) used to be by far the worst when it came to believing in her own brilliance. Her "medical things" are the biggest example, but beige food and spending as long as she did in DA without actually learning Spanish come close. It's quite amazing and impressive to me how that's all changed (at least publicly). I would love to know what happened behind the scenes during Derrick's year of (overpriced) ministry school. It seems like that's when they did a 180 and I'd love to know why.

[JoanArc]

25 minutes ago, satrunrose said:

Interestingly, Jill (aided and abetted by Derrick) used to be by far the worst when it came to believing in her own brilliance. Her "medical things" are the biggest example, but beige food and spending as long as she did in DA without actually learning Spanish come close. It's quite amazing and impressive to me how that's all changed (at least publicly). I would love to know what happened behind the scenes during Derrick's year of (overpriced) ministry school. It seems like that's when they did a 180 and I'd love to know why.

  Derreck also nosedived, cannot be a missionary, cannot learn Spanish, and was a fairly terrible minister or whatever he was.  Marrying into reality television was such a drain on him. I think that’s why it is such an open question of how working as a lawyer is going to go with him. He really seems like the type they can get a job, but can’t keep it. I also wouldn’t be surprised if Jill is still somewhat superior.  I’m sure she thinks her medical training is top-notch, and that she’s kicking ass on all fronts.  She certainly got the I’m Not Like Other Girls  Duggars bit down, and everyone suddenly started loving her.

I still think there must’ve been a moment where they both admitted they really didn’t want more kids, and were fairly unhappy in their marriage. 

[Suzn]

15 minutes ago, JoanArc said:

  Derreck also nosedived, cannot be a missionary, cannot learn Spanish, and was a fairly terrible minister or whatever he was.  Marrying into reality television was such a drain on him. I think that’s why it is such an open question of how working as a lawyer is going to go with him. He really seems like the type they can get a job, but can’t keep it. I also wouldn’t be surprised if Jill is still somewhat superior.  I’m sure she thinks her medical training is top-notch, and that she’s kicking ass on all fronts.  She certainly got the I’m Not Like Other Girls  Duggars bit down, and everyone suddenly started loving her.

I still think there must’ve been a moment where they both admitted they really didn’t want more kids, and were fairly unhappy in their marriage. 

Derrick seems to do well with school, but that is not the same as having a job, at all.  I'm not predicting failure, but it may be more of a struggle to work, day after day, than he anticipates.

I think Jill gets lots of unearned "love" because of changes that are pretty superficial.  She's the same smug young woman she ever was.

[Cinnabon]

1 hour ago, satrunrose said:

I think one thing that is making Jill stand out at the moment is that she seems to be one of the only (if not the only) Duggar who knows what she doesn't know. Taking their lead from Jim Boob, the others seem to fall somewhere between believing that there's nothing they don't know (JereME and Jing, Anna and her spouse, Jed! and maybe Jana (although that may just be marketing, I think what Jana really thinks, feels and believes is an utter mystery)) and thinking anything they don't know just isn't worth knowing (Jessa and Joy).

Interestingly, Jill (aided and abetted by Derrick) used to be by far the worst when it came to believing in her own brilliance. Her "medical things" are the biggest example, but beige food and spending as long as she did in DA without actually learning Spanish come close. It's quite amazing and impressive to me how that's all changed (at least publicly). I would love to know what happened behind the scenes during Derrick's year of (overpriced) ministry school. It seems like that's when they did a 180 and I'd love to know why.

Knowing what you don’t know is HUGE.

[ozziemom]

There was that one video where the Dillards were discussing creation and Jill wouldn’t budge from her Fundie 6 days per the Bible views. Dreck kind of blew it off, like whatever, you’re wrong but let’s not go down that road again. So Jill still holds on to many of her views, ways, thoughts as superior.

[lascuba]

2 hours ago, CouchTater said:

That's funny, I'd choose Jessa as a seatmate for a plane ride.  Not because she seems more likeable, but because I think she'd be more quiet and reserved, which is what I consider the best seatmate!

Yes! If I were sitting next to Jill, I'd either bite a hole through my tongue or give in to my urges and scream at her to SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT JESUS ALREADY! Jessa wouldn't even attempt conversation. That automatically makes her a better human being in my book.

Edited July 15, 2021 by lascuba

[lascuba]

1 hour ago, JoanArc said:

  Derreck also nosedived, cannot be a missionary, cannot learn Spanish, and was a fairly terrible minister or whatever he was.  Marrying into reality television was such a drain on him. I think that’s why it is such an open question of how working as a lawyer is going to go with him. He really seems like the type they can get a job, but can’t keep it. I also wouldn’t be surprised if Jill is still somewhat superior.  I’m sure she thinks her medical training is top-notch, and that she’s kicking ass on all fronts.  She certainly got the I’m Not Like Other Girls  Duggars bit down, and everyone suddenly started loving her.

I still think there must’ve been a moment where they both admitted they really didn’t want more kids, and were fairly unhappy in their marriage. 

This is it. I hadn't made the connection before, but Jill always basked in being liked. The scandals hit her so hard because she was no longer the darling of he fundie media circuit. Her family fell of their pedestal, she got reamed for defending them on camera, her "missionary work" didn't result in grateful converts worshiping at her feet, and the internet kept mocking her shitty parenting, filthy house, disgusting cooking. So she finally figures out that she needs more than just being a Duggar, and studies on how to be a likeable social media presence. And boom, she's everyone's favorite Duggar again.

[mythoughtis]

1 hour ago, ozziemom said:

There was that one video where the Dillards were discussing creation and Jill wouldn’t budge from her Fundie 6 days per the Bible views. Dreck kind of blew it off, like whatever, you’re wrong but let’s not go down that road again. So Jill still holds on to many of her views, ways, thoughts as superior.

That one is a hard line for many people that believe the Bible is absolute fact in every sentence.  It says 6 days so there. Just like people lived to be 900 years old.

Jill has to live a decade or so more years  before she will be able to question certain things she was taught without looking around for the lightning strike.  

[BigBingerBro]

[Quilt Fairy]

Tomato hornworm.  I gotta share Jill's "Eww" because they are freaky.  They look exactly like part of a tomato leaf.  I've only ever had one, so it was strictly pick it off with a tissue and squish it.  I doubt Jill wants to start spraying pesticides on her plants since the boys are among them every day. 

[MargeGunderson]

Yeah, I would have screamed for sure. I’m easily startled and hate bugs, so that’s my nightmare scenario.

[Teriacky]

Yeah, if you’re growing your own tomatoes you’re gonna get those gross hornworms. This is why I don’t grow tomatoes (the other reason is that I hate tomatoes…).

[crazy8s]

6 minutes ago, Quilt Fairy said:

Tomato hornworm.  I gotta share Jill's "Eww" because they are freaky.  They look exactly like part of a tomato leaf.  I've only ever had one, so it was strictly pick it off with a tissue and squish it.  I doubt Jill wants to start spraying pesticides on her plants since the boys are among them every day. 

especially no need for spraying if the boys are excited/willing to pick the creatures off. 

we are in full blown earwig season here - also creepy looking little creatures. My grandsons were excited to put them in the toilet and "send them on a water ride" 🙂

[Mindthinkr]

On 7/15/2021 at 1:46 PM, Cinnabon said:

Knowing what you don’t know is HUGE.

I understand that I don’t know a lot of things. What I do know is how to research answers. I do not mean hit the Google button either. I could go to the library, or find someone who may have an answer. Thank goodness Jill has a library card. Books can be an education resource. 

[Absolom]

Once a person starts learning and learns how to research, it's hard to stop.  There is a biologic, non-toxic spray that can be used for hornworms.  I have to use it sometimes.

[Lady Whistleup]

On 7/15/2021 at 3:50 PM, mythoughtis said:

That one is a hard line for many people that believe the Bible is absolute fact in every sentence.  It says 6 days so there. Just like people lived to be 900 years old.

Jill has to live a decade or so more years  before she will be able to question certain things she was taught without looking around for the lightning strike.  

The whole "Bible is the absolute truth" thing is not that radical. I'd say among Christians Derick's 'old earth' thing is considered blasphemous by most. 

[Cinnabon]

13 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

The whole "Bible is the absolute truth" thing is not that radical. I'd say among Christians Derick's 'old earth' thing is considered blasphemous by most. 

Catholics (who are also Christians) don’t believe that 🤷‍♀️

[Mindthinkr]

I’m stumped because I took a Comparative Religion course in college and nothing prepared me for a conversation like this. I.E.: What I believe in. 

[BigBingerBro]

[BigBingerBro]

[dariafan]

On 7/16/2021 at 9:43 PM, Mindthinkr said:

I’m stumped because I took a Comparative Religion course in college and nothing prepared me for a conversation like this. I.E.: What I believe in. 

I graduated from a Christian university and up until I quit the church , I couldn’t tell you some of it !

[SMama]

Jill posted on her IG about making macrame with the boys. I didn’t know macrame was back. I think Jill engaging with the boys to do arts and crafts is a very positive thing. Israel and Sam won’t have to resort to play with ants or other assorted insects in their home. 

[Jeeves]

Actually, macrame seems to have made a bit of a comeback. Having seen it back in the 60's and 70's and not liking it then, I'm not a fan now. But doing crafts with the kids - doing anything that doesn't involve rote learning of Bible verses - is definitely a sign of progress for anybody raised Duggar. I'm glad Jill is enjoying her kids (well I assume she has all the range of moments with them that any mother does, lol - but I hope my meaning is clear).

[ozziemom]

Is the bar exam next week? Has Jill mentioned their plans for family vacation again? IIRC she asked on Instagram for suggestions for driving to Oregon. Any idea why they would go to Oregon? My SIL and family live outside Portland and it’s a nice place to visit. I’m guessing they are going after bar exam but before Izzy goes back to school.

[ginger90]

12 minutes ago, ozziemom said:

Is the bar exam next week?

Looks like it’s July 27th,  and 28th.

Looks like the first day of school is August 16th.

Edited July 23, 2021 by ginger90

[Quilt Fairy]

2 hours ago, ozziemom said:

Any idea why they would go to Oregon?

To experience excessive heat and wildfires?

[Zahdii]

6 hours ago, ozziemom said:

Any idea why they would go to Oregon? 

Checking out a possible future move because Derrick is considering a job offer?  Trying to get away from the Duggars?

[Zella]

7 minutes ago, Zahdii said:

Checking out a possible future move because Derrick is considering a job offer?  Trying to get away from the Duggars?

His U of A law degree is going to be a lot less useful in Oregon than it would be in Arkansas, if only because of networking. 

[GeeGolly]

3 hours ago, Zella said:

His U of A law degree is going to be a lot less useful in Oregon than it would be in Arkansas, if only because of networking. 

And if Derick is planning on serving the public, he might be in for some culture shock.

[floridamom]

Derick would not be able to practice in Oregon without having to take another state bar exam. That would not be the thing to do at this stage. He needs to pass Arkansas first and get experience if he wanted to move.

[Jeeves]

2 hours ago, floridamom said:

Derick would not be able to practice in Oregon without having to take another state bar exam. That would not be the thing to do at this stage. He needs to pass Arkansas first and get experience if he wanted to move.

Depending on how well he scored on the Arkansas bar exam, Derick might be eligible for admission to practice law in Oregon based on those scores, if he applies within 36 months after the exam. Thirty-seven US jurisdictions have adopted the Uniform Bar Examination - including Arkansas and Oregon. I didn't do a deep dive into the details but this Wikipedia article seems to have a good overview. The UBE has been described as a "portable qualification," although not an automatic "portable status." Meaning that passing it on state A doesn't equal automatic admission to practice in state B, but can qualify one to apply for admission in State B. That assumes that states A and B both use the UBE. Some states that have the UBE, have additional testing or other requirements. Other states don't use or recognize it, and apparently New York is considering dropping out of the UBE because they don't think it's a stringent enough test that protects the public from unqualified lawyers. 

All of that is interesting to me. It's been decades since my bar exam experience. No UBE back then.

[emmawoodhouse]

Jill is soliciting advice on her next hair style. She's considering blonde, red, or dreads. Yes, dreads! 😂

[ginger90]

[BitterApple]

I'd like to see Jill as a redhead. I think it would be a great color to contrast her blue eyes.

I think ashy-platinum blonde is a no-go, because Jill doesn't wear makeup. Pale skin plus super pale hair would make her look like a washed out ghost.

Dreads would be great as an F.U. to Boob, but how do you remove them? Would she have to cut all her hair off?

Edited July 23, 2021 by BitterApple

[libgirl2]

1 minute ago, ginger90 said:

I actually could see her with dreads, but I would say red. 

[lascuba]

Of course Jill is considering going the white girl with dreadlocks route. Of course. 

On the plus side, she just might be famous enough where social media will drag her to hell for it.

Edited July 23, 2021 by lascuba

[MargeGunderson]

Yeah, that’s how I feel about it. I doubt she has given any thought to the cultural history of dreadlocks. 

[emmawoodhouse]

I voted redhead. Thought that might be good with her coloring. 

[Zella]

As soon as I saw this floating around the internet, I ran here to see if anyone posted it. In the poll, the dreads option is at 87% no. I'm really curious to see if she takes the hint gracefully or doubles down and goes through with it. 

Edited July 23, 2021 by Zella

[GeeGolly]

Jill wears her hair in a ponytail 90% of the time. Anything she does (not including dreads) would hardly be noticed.

[JoanArc]

Redhead Pixie.

 Lord save us from dreads. 

[Spazamanaz]

Jill should get red dreadlocks and go dance on her parents front lawn to Bob Marley songs.

[Spazamanaz]

 Redemption Song. (Dont know how to go back and add to my last post) 

[Madtown]

She should get it cut right above the shoulder, maybe layers and die it red.

 

[BigBingerBro]

I doubt she'll do anything drastic with her hair.

I also vote no on the dreads.  If she's going to do that she need someone to help her along.