Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[JoanArc]

24 minutes ago, Liamsmom617 said:

I'm wondering now if, when it became public knowledge that Josh had molested the sisters (including Jill) and Jill became so upset/triggered by it, Derick maybe confronted Josh and the two had some sort of altercation, resulting in Derick's jaw being broken?

It was planned surgery. Just couldn’t break wind, let alone a Jaw.

[Jeeves]

I also think it was planned surgery. I think Derick was still employed at Walmart corporate at that time, and probably had health insurance coverage. 

[Liamsmom617]

3 hours ago, JoanArc said:

It was planned surgery. Just couldn’t break wind, let alone a Jaw.

   I know they said it was planned.....just always wondered why they would do it then. Sure, it had been scheduled, but couldn’t it have been rescheduled to give Jill time to recuperate from her C-section? I know they don’t really care anything about women, and that they’re expected to work themselves nearly to death, around the clock, but still… I don’t know..

Edited May 15, 2021 by Liamsmom617

[Jeeves]

15 minutes ago, Liamsmom617 said:

   I know they said it was planned.....just always wondered why they would do it then. Sure, it had been scheduled, but couldn’t it have been rescheduled to give Jill time to recuperate from her C-section? I know they don’t really care anything about women, and that they’re expected to work themselves nearly to death, around the clock, but still… I don’t know. I just always wondered why they would do it then. Sure it had been scheduled but couldn’t it have been rescheduled to give Jill time to recuperate from her C-section? I know they don’t really care anything about women and when we’re supposed to work themselves nearly to death around the clock but still… I don’t know.

I can't see either Josh or Derick getting into a fistfight, TBH.

Although I loathe the fundies' attitudes toward women, Derick didn't grow up in that environment. His mom worked and it was clear when he married Jill he [wrongly, as he later discovered] thought she had the education to work with him in the missionary field under the IMB.  (That's the official Southern Baptist international missions board which has significant educational requirements for career missionaries AND their spouses). IMO he was young and naive, had romanticized and unrealistic ideas, and he hadn't been living in the fundie/IBLP world before he joined Duggar-land. 

I'm not presenting him as St. Derick, but probably they'd scheduled the surgery assuming that Jill's first childbirth would go smoothly. Plus there would be all those helping hands for Jill and the baby among the Duggar siblings. I bet that even after her unplanned C-section, Jill may have been in some denial that as a Duggar, she would need any special time or attention following a delivery. Jill had the Michelle Duggar model of childbirth imprinted into her mind, I'm sure. Pop out a baby, enjoy the glow of sainted motherhood while the household runs like usual, nothing to see here, move right along. We're specially blessed by Jesus and so we're superwomen when it comes to babeez.

Edited May 15, 2021 by Jeeves

[madpsych78]

I can buy that James and Derick formed a brotherly relationship. Wasn't James the only Duggar to play the trumpet? And Derick played the trumpet.

[GeeGolly]

36 minutes ago, Liamsmom617 said:

   I know they said it was planned.....just always wondered why they would do it then. Sure, it had been scheduled, but couldn’t it have been rescheduled to give Jill time to recuperate from her C-section? I know they don’t really care anything about women, and that they’re expected to work themselves nearly to death, around the clock, but still… I don’t know. I just always wondered why they would do it then. Sure it had been scheduled but couldn’t it have been rescheduled to give Jill time to recuperate from her C-section? I know they don’t really care anything about women and when we’re supposed to work themselves nearly to death around the clock but still… I don’t know.

I think they didn't reschedule because they knew Derick was quitting his job and would lose his health insurance.

[BigBingerBro]

In addition from being a planned surgery.  This was when Deertick was "all in" on the TLC filming, so I am sure the producers encouraged to add interest to the storyline.

I was supposed to have that same surgery when I was a teen, but my family did not have the  best insurance coverage and it was not considered to be a critical life-threatening procedure, so they were not going to pay so I skipped it.  25+ years later and my jaw/teeth are fine.  I was mad I could not have it at the time, but now I'm glad I was spared the pain.

[LilJen]

12 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I think they didn't reschedule because they knew Derick was quitting his job and would lose his health insurance.

Also, wasn’t Jill like two weeks late? They may have assumed all would be dandy with a newborn at that point.

[Zella]

I come from a family of batshit crazy hillbillies who like to fight (each other and other people). I doubt Derick or Josh either one has ever thrown a punch in their life. 

It was pretty common in the Pentecostal churches I was taken to as a child for the pastor to tell some exaggerated tale about what a ruffian he was before he got saved. My grandfather would always mumble something about "I don't think he'd hold up in a good fight." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I've never heard that from the Duggars in any of their testimonies, and many of the fundies I was around were visibly uncomfortable with the idea of an actual fist fight or a physical altercation. I doubt they would be any different. 

[lascuba]

 

2 hours ago, JoanArc said:

It was planned surgery. Just couldn’t break wind, let alone a Jaw.

Also, didn't Jill say or heavily imply that Derick had already known about the molestation before the story broke? I know the the general consensus is that Ben and Derick must have hated Josh after the scandal but I've always gotten the impression that they knew long before we did. I could maybe see Ben not knowing because Jessa didn't tell him for whatever reason, but considering Jil's approach to courtship, I can't imaging that she didn't tell Derick every single thought and event of her life. And I think even that might be irrelevant, because--and I know this might sound ridiculous considering how easily they lie and obfuscate --JB and Michelle would have told them some watered down version of events. Those two weren't exactly discreet about it if they had been so open about it to church elders and had told the Kellers before Josh and Anna started courting.

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I think they didn't reschedule because they knew Derick was quitting his job and would lose his health insurance.

That matches up with the timeline. Jill and Derick had already made plans to move to Danger America by that point--they had to get all the expensive healthcare out of the way.

[Liamsmom617]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I think they didn't reschedule because they knew Derick was quitting his job and would lose his health insurance.

That makes sense.

2 hours ago, LilJen said:

Also, wasn’t Jill like two weeks late? They may have assumed all would be dandy with a newborn at that point.

Good point. 

[emmawoodhouse]

The Dillards had a little vacation last week. Derelict must start a new job on Monday, in addition to his bar studies.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CO6MEm_gyU6/?igshid=nvr4edgyaz7k

[Zella]

They misspelled Steel Creek. . . . 

[Cinnabon]

6 hours ago, BigBingerBro said:

In addition from being a planned surgery.  This was when Deertick was "all in" on the TLC filming, so I am sure the producers encouraged to add interest to the storyline.

I was supposed to have that same surgery when I was a teen, but my family did not have the  best insurance coverage and it was not considered to be a critical life-threatening procedure, so they were not going to pay so I skipped it.  25+ years later and my jaw/teeth are fine.  I was mad I could not have it at the time, but now I'm glad I was spared the pain.

My mouth was much too small for all of my teeth. So they pulled a few of my permanent teeth when I was a kid. Worked out fine.

[Crochetlady]

36 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

The Dillards had a little vacation last week. Derelict must start a new job on Monday, in addition to his bar studies.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CO6MEm_gyU6/?igshid=nvr4edgyaz7k

Looks like they had a great time! 

[irisheyes]

35 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

The Dillards had a little vacation last week. Derelict must start a new job on Monday, in addition to his bar studies.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CO6MEm_gyU6/?igshid=nvr4edgyaz7k

I really like the fact that Jill’s kids are getting to do all the things she never did because she was raising her siblings. 

[BigBingerBro]

I guess they left Fenta at home

[crazy8s]

3 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

I guess they left Fenta at home

well that would make the most sense. dogs are most likely not allowed on the trail. It seems they had a friend who watched fenna when the went to something, Justin's wedding maybe.

my daughter is hiking in the Adirondack mts this weekend. Her dogs are with their favorite dog care provider. all adults vaccinated for covid and the dogs love seeing their friend.

[BigBingerBro]

Someon on reddit did a masterpost about the Dillards:

Jill and Derick Still Suck - a Masterpost

[crazy8s]

5 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

Someon on reddit did a masterpost about the Dillards:

Jill and Derick Still Suck - a Masterpost

tis a good summary indeed.

[BitterApple]

Derick is on record as being transphobic, but I think calling them racists because they did mission trips is a bit much. 

[JoanArc]

13 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

Someon on reddit did a masterpost about the Dillards:

Jill and Derick Still Suck - a Masterpost

 It is still kind of iffy if Derick quit, was fired, had a no contract contract, was/was not intimidated by Jim bob in regards to leaving the show.

Also left out how Jill and Derreck are both willing to go back on another reality show if they get the opportunity. They actually stated that.

[crazy8s]

9 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Derick is on record as being transphobic, but I think calling them racists because they did mission trips is a bit much. 

agree - not sure it makes them racist, but the white savior missioncations are problematic. I have seen hundreds and hundreds  of pics from just my local churches of these trips of the white saviors posing with the poor central american folks. the nail painting, candy hand outs, same "school building" painted by teenagers year after year etc. I have actually seen the same woman "brought to Jesus" 3 times by our local churches. before covid they were all going to SOS ministry locations in central america

[lascuba]

39 minutes ago, BigBingerBro said:

Someon on reddit did a masterpost about the Dillards:

Jill and Derick Still Suck - a Masterpost

Nice summary. I'll have to resist reposting this constantly.

 

33 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Derick is on record as being transphobic, but I think calling them racists because they did mission trips is a bit much. 

It's inherently racist. The whole mentality that leads one to do mission trips is based on supremacy. Remember, they're not traveling to provide real, needed services like healthcare. They went for the exclusive reason of spreading their ideology.

[Gemma Violet]

I remember there being a discussion here as to whether Jill and Joy are on the outs because of the friction between Jill/Derick and JB/Michelle.  On Jill's Instagram, under the photos of the modest bathing suits, Joy comments, "You're beautiful, Jill."  with a heart.  Sounds like all is well between them.

[lascuba]

14 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

agree - not sure it makes them racist, but the white savior missioncations are problematic. I have seen hundreds and hundreds  of pics from just my local churches of these trips of the white saviors posing with the poor central american folks. the nail painting, candy hand outs, same "school building" painted by teenagers year after year etc. I have actually seen the same woman "brought to Jesus" 3 times by our local churches. before covid they were all going to SOS ministry locations in central america

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You're probably the only one who noticed it's the same woman.

I'm now convinced that SOS pays locals to pretend to be saved by the missioncationers to keep the volunteer$ motivated.

[MMEButterfly]

On 5/13/2021 at 5:49 PM, BigBingerBro said:

Michelle Duggar shows rare public support for daughter Jill Duggar following major news

I didn't realize Jill can go to the TTH if  JB is home but not otherwise. What is the supposed rationale for this rule. I had figured the opposite, she could go only if JB wasn't there. 

[galaxygirl76]

17 minutes ago, MMEButterfly said:

I didn't realize Jill can go to the TTH if  JB is home but not otherwise. What is the supposed rationale for this rule. I had figured the opposite, she could go only if JB wasn't there. 

I'm sure it's so he can control the situation.

[Zella]

In addition to control, it also probably dissuades Derick's presence. 

[crazy8s]

47 minutes ago, lascuba said:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You're probably the only one who noticed it's the same woman.

I'm now convinced that SOS pays locals to pretend to be saved by the missioncationers to keep the volunteer$ motivated.

I probably wouldn't have ever noticed this except I was the person that put together video highlight things from missions for one church and my son had a scout leader who was a great photographer and went on a missions trip with another church and shared his pics. then we had a young guy from another church who needed to use our video making program. Same woman and some of the same kids in all of them

churches involved - one evangelical lutheran, one united methodist and one non denominational

Edited May 16, 2021 by crazy8s

[lascuba]

20 minutes ago, crazy8s said:

I probably wouldn't have ever noticed this except I was the person that put together video highlight things from missions for one church and my son had a scout leader who was a great photographer and went on a missions trip with another church and shared his pics. then we had a young guy from another church who needed to use our video making program. Same woman and some of the same kids in all of them

churches involved - one evangelical lutheran, one united methodist and one non denominational

Oh, yeah, if she's not getting paid directly, she's getting some kind of material benefit from scamming the missionaries. And to that I say:

 

 

[iwantcookies]

I imagine the locals don’t care for the missionaries who are bothering them... Jeez it must be annoying to be invaded by people who want to convert you to their God.

 

🙄🙄🙄

[lascuba]

1 hour ago, iwantcookies said:

I imagine the locals don’t care for the missionaries who are bothering them... Jeez it must be annoying to be invaded by people who want to convert you to their God.

 

🙄🙄🙄

I hate proselytizers so, so much. If I were in that situation I'd be the crazy woman regularly cursing them out and feeding their martyr fantasies.

[emmawoodhouse]

The Redditor did make a big mistake in their post. The Dillards did NOT sue TLC. They instead went to the one TLC paid. Boob got played the way he likes to play with others; threaten a lawsuit to instill the fear of God into one's intended victim. 

[Cinnabon]

14 minutes ago, lascuba said:

I hate proselytizers so, so much. If I were in that situation I'd be the crazy woman regularly cursing them out and feeding their martyr fantasies.

Agree. It’s almost stalking and harassment.

[GeeGolly]

7 hours ago, Zella said:

In addition to control, it also probably dissuades Derick's presence. 

I think keeping Derick away is the main goal. As much as Jill and Derick would like to move past it all and be welcomed back into the fold, I don't think JB will ever get there. And poor Jill is in the middle. I think she stays away from the TTH to be loyal to Derick. Derick should headship up and tell Jill he's okay with her going over for visits.

 

 

[SMama]

In one of their Q & As they both said there are too many triggers at The Big House (TTH). Jill brought it up first, maybe she’s not there yet. This latest screw up by Josh may be yet another trigger. Why go to your parents’ house when they support the pedophile who hurt you? YMMV

[madpsych78]

We don't have to think that the Dillards spout out rainbows and unicorns, but when these things are posted on Reddit, I worry that this is going to be a deflection off of the other family members. Yes, Jill and Derick can suck in many respects, but they suck less than JB and Michelle, and they DEFINITELY suck WAY less than Josh.

Edited May 16, 2021 by madpsych78

[farmgal4]

9 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I think keeping Derick away is the main goal. As much as Jill and Derick would like to move past it all and be welcomed back into the fold, I don't think JB will ever get there. And poor Jill is in the middle. I think she stays away from the TTH to be loyal to Derick. Derick should headship up and tell Jill he's okay with her going over for visits.

 

 

I completely agree with your comment.  As long as Derick isn’t welcome, Jill isn’t going either.  I have personally known of situations like this before irl, and the wife always stands by her man.  At some point, the parents miss their offspring so badly that they bite the bullet and try to make nice with their son-/daughter-in-law just so they can see him/her and the grandkids.

[Westiepeach]

We know JimBoob has washed his slimy hands of the Dillard family, but does MEEEchelle really care? Or is she even aware of Jill, et al anymore?

Edited May 16, 2021 by Westiepeach

[GeeGolly]

8 minutes ago, Westiepeach said:

We know JimBoob has washed his slimy hands of the Dillard family, but does MEEEchelle really care? Or is she even aware of Jill, et al anymore?

From posts made over the last couple of years, it seem they keep in touch somewhat. I think the last post of them together was during the mid-part of the pandemic.

[Westiepeach]

2 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

From posts made over the last couple of years, it seem they keep in touch somewhat. I think the last post of them together was during the mid-part of the pandemic.

You are correct. I forgot about that!

[Gigi43]

Pre-arrest Josh was living in the property of TTH (the warehouse is on the property right?) and that may be reason enough for Jill to not  want to step foot there, Derick aside. She's in therapy getting real help, her parents suddenly trying to force a sit down could be a setback. 

[JoanArc]

Jill also had family come visit at her house. She’s not obligated to always make the trip.

[GeeGolly]

2 minutes ago, Gigi43 said:

Pre-arrest Josh was living in the property of TTH (the warehouse is on the property right?) and that may be reason enough for Jill to not  want to step foot there, Derick aside. She's in therapy getting real help, her parents suddenly trying to force a sit down could be a setback. 

I never got the impression Jill was working on anything related to Josh in therapy. I thought her therapy was around the fallout with JB. Is she still going to therapy? 

[Zella]

My assumption was that Jill was working more on things about her parents in therapy. I'm sure Josh is tied into that, too, but most of the resources she posted about/recommended focused on parent-child relationships specifically. 

[ginger90]

Boundaries is a word Jill used most when speaking about therapy, it seems.

[GeeGolly]

1 hour ago, Zella said:

My assumption was that Jill was working more on things about her parents in therapy. I'm sure Josh is tied into that, too, but most of the resources she posted about/recommended focused on parent-child relationships specifically. 

I'm very curious about her therapy. When someone comes in for therapy its the client's and therapist's job to set goals for what they want to accomplish. If their only goal was working through the issues with the parents, I'm not sure they would have touched on the molestation. The reason a client and therapist identify goals is because most folks seeking therapy have more than one or two issues. Therapy would be all over the place without goals.

I work with a lot of folks with traumatic backgrounds, sometimes a trauma is an identified goal, sometimes its not. Sometimes the trauma is mentioned in relationship to a current issue, but if its not an identified goal, its just a mentioned. Sometimes trauma isn't an initial goal, but should be the goal so we readjust and work on trauma.

It may seem to a client that therapy is just talking, but a clinician looks at the issues at hand and usually is using a theory/model in the background, directing the treatment.

I also wonder if Jill is still seeing a therapist.

[leighdear]

26 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

I also wonder if Jill is still seeing a therapist.

I don't believe that Jill has been, or was regularly seeing a scientifically trained, educated and licensed psychologist of any type. 

My belief is she was probably briefly receiving some sort of "spiritual guidance" through a faith-based "counselor", aka Sweet Friend, in combination with YouTube videos, some Christian reading materials from Amazon, and the belief that if she & Deertick announced she was "in therapy", the critics on social media would continue to buy the concept of them going more "mainstream", and therefore piss on Jim Bob even more.  Throw in photos of Jill "drinking alcohol" and wearing swimwear and you have a Dillard Trifecta of how Dillweed can jab at JB the hardest, through Jill. 

Anybody can say they're "in therapy", and who will disprove it?  They can use the fabulous buzzwords like boundaries, triggers, Process, issues, etc.  Doesn't mean a damn thing.  REAL, meaningful therapy takes time, effort, money and support.  It doesn't happen in between dropping off your kindergartener and "modeling" freebie clothes from your cousin on your Instagram page.

But hey, maybe Jill has got the best therapist somebody's money can buy.  I will never say never.  

Edited May 16, 2021 by leighdear

[JoanArc]

I don’t think Jill would be able to fake looking better. Everyone in that family is happier. They’re still assholes, but things are much better.