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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

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7 minutes ago, Zella said:

I didn't mean in the sense of them being starved like the Rodrigues kids. But as someone who has a really fucked-up relationship with eating and food that I can trace back to a particular traumatic moment in my childhood and is quite separate from my family's finances (like, I once noped out of a questionnaire on the subject as soon as I started reading the questions because I could tell how badly I was going to score), I just see some parallels in some of what they do, even if I'm not doing the exact same things. To me, the plate licking from multiple siblings, Jill eating in the bathroom, and even Josh's overeating like there is no tomorrow seem to be indicative of something, even if it is just wanting to have some control when they felt like they had no control in their lives. As I've mentioned on here before, I have also wondered about Josie licking things. I used to think that was just because she was a nasty feral child, but then after reading some bios about Chris Farley that talked about how debilitating his compulsion was to lick random objects, I have wondered if there is more to it. 

I never thought Jill was eating in the bathroom because she was poor. I felt like she was eating in the bathroom because she may have been an introvert or just needed some alone time and that was the only way she got it. 

I thought the same thing. Also the phrasing makes me think they're not really deeply invested in putting effort into changing the situation beyond praying. 

I can see what you're saying. But I don't think food was a problem in their family, so there's not a reason to develop problems like the ones mentioned. If they were struggling with eating disorders like bulimia or anorexia, that would make sense, because living in an authoritarian environment can contribute to developing eating disorders. 

I see the kids licking their plates as poor manners. I see Josie licking everything as a developmental thing. It could be she was weaned too soon, or more of a textural thing, like one might see with a child who has autism.

I guess what I'm saying is I don't see a relationship between licking plates, eating in the bathroom and Josie fulfilling some oral need.

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16 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

 

I guess what I'm saying is I don't see a relationship between licking plates, eating in the bathroom and Josie fulfilling some oral need.

Yeah I can understand that! I guess for me, an identifiable eating disorder like anorexia or bulimia would have made more sense for them and me, given my own upbringing, but that's not how my own issues panned out, so it may make me read into things that aren't there with them. 

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3 hours ago, LoquaciousAudacity said:

Jill Duggar Dillard Opens Up About Distancing from Her Family: 'I Never Expected This to Happen'

 

New People article with new pictures. Not a ton of new information, but I found this quote interesting: "I never expected this to happen or for it to get to this point," Jill says. "But I'm realizing I can't put a timeline on healing. I love my family and they love me. I really just have to follow God's lead and take it one day at a time."

Also, this "statement" from Jim Bob and Me-chelle, sounds like there is still a major rift: ""Every family has differences of opinion and perspective at times, but families work things out. We all love Jill, Derick, and their boys very much.  It is our prayer that our relationship is healed and fully restored quickly!"

The pics are good and the boys actually seem happy 

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I think JB's main problem is with Derrick. Derrick keeps bad mouthing JB and revealing financial information concerning the show. Of course he's mad. I can't blame him for that. I don't think he can tolerates Jill and Derrick being less fundie, but not giving away family secrets. 

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On 10/16/2020 at 12:31 PM, GeeGolly said:

Didn't Jill do a similar post with Izzy putting her earrings in? I find that so odd. My kids never once asked me to put in my earrings.

My 4 year old has asked to do this more than once! 

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1 hour ago, Zella said:

I used to think that was just because she was a nasty feral child, but then after reading some bios about Chris Farley that talked about how debilitating his compulsion was to lick random objects, I have wondered if there is more to it. 

What did Chris Farley have to say about it? What do you think was going on with Josie?

51 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

If they were struggling with eating disorders like bulimia or anorexia, that would make sense, because living in an authoritarian environment can contribute to developing eating disorders. 

We don't know if anyone in the family has an eating disorder -- anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, anything. I think it's perfectly fine to keep things like that private, my point is just that absence of evidence =/= evidence of absence.

Edited by rue721
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I agree about the good pictures. The photo of the boys grinning on Derick’s back while Jill smiles at the three of them is the best family photo I’ve ever seen of them. Hope she frames it!

Also, I appreciate every outing her sisters have with her, every coffee Jessa brings her, and every daughter-in-law who wants her at their birth to be a little FU to JimBob and Michelle, and that makes ME smile.

Edited by truebluesmoky
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Damn it why can't we get one article detailing the financial issues? That's the interesting drama. The petty family bullshit resulting from their nonsense beliefs is so boring in comparison.

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Apparently, this article is a palate cleanser for a more in depth article coming out on Friday. 

And it looks like Derelict wants to take the bar next July. He's already in prep mode.

 

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6 hours ago, Growsonwalls said:

I just find it very telling that JB to this day maintains a close relationship with Josh and Anna when it was Josh's behavior that caused the show to be canceled and damaged the Duggar brand. But there's a rift with Jill because she ... wears pants? Had a glass of wine? Cut her hair? 

I suspect that ever since he was fired by FRC and ran back home to the TTH in disgrace, Josh has been exceptionally meek and conciliatory: "Yes, Daddy...I'm sorry, Daddy...whatever you think is best, Daddy" and that keeps him in Jim Bob's good graces. Nothing a narcissistic control freak loves more that a sniveling ass-kisser. Also, Josh is one of Michelle's favorites, perhaps the only child she truly loves. Even if Jim Bob wanted to disown Josh, she would never permit it. 

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I love that Jill is featured in People! She looks great. I agree with the poster above that the family one should be framed. 
 

stay strong Jill! Don’t let your family guilt you into doing anything you don’t want to do. Trust me, your silent siblings are cheering you on and wishing they had the strength to do what you are doing!!

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3 minutes ago, wait.what said:

I love that Jill is featured in People! She looks great. I agree with the poster above that the family one should be framed. 
 

stay strong Jill! Don’t let your family guilt you into doing anything you don’t want to do. Trust me, your silent siblings are cheering you on and wishing they had the strength to do what you are doing!!

She looks 1000% better than any TLC/People Promo for the rest of her fam, they put effort into making her look good! 
 

After seeing the family photo no doubt Sam is the cutest Duggar grandbaby!

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6 hours ago, dariafan said:

The pics are good and the boys actually seem happy 

They look more "normal" than Jinger and Jeremy. Good for Jill! She has realized you don't need to pop out a baby a year just because you can, you need to be able to more than just physically. With that pressure off, they can enjoy their boys and each other. 

Yea, Josh is weeping into his burgers right now as Anna will try for #7.  Enjoy those burgers, that is the only escape you got. 

Edited by libgirl2
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3 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Apparently, this article is a palate cleanser for a more in depth article coming out on Friday. 

And it looks like Derelict wants to take the bar next July. He's already in prep mode.

 

This runs from $2,000-$4,000.

 

 

Jill’s comment on the post:

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Who started school first? Derick or Jeremy? (well, we all know Ben did, but, ya, whatever) Is Derick finishing three years of school quicker than Jeremy is finishing two?

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10 hours ago, doodlebug said:

I think that is EXACTLY what they mean.  JB and Meechelle are not interested in relationships with their children as autonomous adults.

I don't think they even know their kids ARE autonomous people.  They are just a massive group that needs to be led and controlled. 

From their generic birthday greetings "You are a great person with a godly heart for doing god's work" to their inability to really articulate a single fact about each child, these are parents who don't know their children and have a very distant relationship.

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7 hours ago, Future Cat Lady said:

I think JB's main problem is with Derrick. Derrick keeps bad mouthing JB and revealing financial information concerning the show. Of course he's mad. I can't blame him for that. I don't think he can tolerates Jill and Derrick being less fundie, but not giving away family secrets. 

Of course JB would view Derrick as the problem because Sweet Jill was raised right (to be an agreeable helpmeet with no opinions or autonomy of her own) and would never be the problem.  The idea that Jill might have issues with the Josh situation or how it was handle is beyond JB's understanding because he, like Jesus, is infallible.   Derrick led her to a life of sin (jeans! Drinking! Dancing!) because Jill couldn't have any interest in that filth.  JB is a control freak and he needs to start considering how he's going to deal with the fallout when Jill says she wasn't protected from Josh and her parents forced her to do that train wreck of an interview with Megan Kelly.  Because it's coming, JB. 

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3 minutes ago, hathorlive said:

Of course JB would view Derrick as the problem because Sweet Jill was raised right (to be an agreeable helpmeet with no opinions or autonomy of her own) and would never be the problem.  The idea that Jill might have issues with the Josh situation or how it was handle is beyond JB's understanding because he, like Jesus, is infallible.   Derrick led her to a life of sin (jeans! Drinking! Dancing!) because Jill couldn't have any interest in that filth.  JB is a control freak and he needs to start considering how he's going to deal with the fallout when Jill says she wasn't protected from Josh and her parents forced her to do that train wreck of an interview with Megan Kelly.  Because it's coming, JB. 

I wonder what's coming in the rest of the People interview? While I don't think Jill will address the molestations, she could well talk about money. And THAT would make Boob's head explode. 

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24 minutes ago, hathorlive said:

I don't think they even know their kids ARE autonomous people.  They are just a massive group that needs to be led and controlled. 

From their generic birthday greetings "You are a great person with a godly heart for doing god's work" to their inability to really articulate a single fact about each child, these are parents who don't know their children and have a very distant relationship.

Because they have too many of them. Because they hand them off to a sibling to raise. I guarantee you Jill knows more about her buddies than Michelle does. 

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39 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Who started school first? Derick or Jeremy? (well, we all know Ben did, but, ya, whatever) Is Derick finishing three years of school quicker than Jeremy is finishing two?

Jeremy's program is now listed as four years I believe.  

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4 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Apparently, this article is a palate cleanser for a more in depth article coming out on Friday. 

And it looks like Derelict wants to take the bar next July. He's already in prep mode.

 

Oh BARBRI!!! Such fun memories- NOT🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I remember doing multiple choice on the app before bed.

 

I wonder if Derrick is getting paid to advertise on Instagram? If so good for him. I’m sure BARBRI can afford it!

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7 hours ago, rue721 said:

What did Chris Farley have to say about it? What do you think was going on with Josie?

I don't recall anything that Farley said about it. I think it embarrassed him, and he didn't talk about it. Close friends of his spoke about it repeatedly, though. They said he had severe OCD and would lick everything in his wallet (including money) and lick his shoelaces before he could tie them and his belt before he'd put it on. If I'm not mistaken he'd even lick lightpoles as he walked on the street. He'd lick his finger and then touch every stair. And it's not that he was just trying to be gross to be funny. He couldn't not do it. 

I went on a binge reading about Farley last year. I read a lot of depressing stuff and am pretty immune to being upset by it, but honest to God, stuff about Farley was so sad that I had to stop reading it. But the vibe I got from the stuff that was said about him is that he had a lot of issues beyond the drug use and this was one of them. 

As for Josie, I don't know what's going on with her, but ever since I read that about Chris Farley, it did make me wonder if there was something going on with her that made her do that beyond just being a gross, nasty kid. Not saying she has OCD, but it just makes me hesitant to shrug it off as her just being a feral kid, though of course that could be the explanation. 

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10 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Wouldn't Derelict have to tag that post as an #ad? Even Jill knows to do that! 

He’s a  BARBRI student representative, so perhaps not? Good move for him, he gets the prep for free.

Edited by ginger90
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3 hours ago, Albanyguy said:

I suspect that ever since he was fired by FRC and ran back home to the TTH in disgrace, Josh has been exceptionally meek and conciliatory: "Yes, Daddy...I'm sorry, Daddy...whatever you think is best, Daddy" and that keeps him in Jim Bob's good graces. Nothing a narcissistic control freak loves more that a sniveling ass-kisser. Also, Josh is one of Michelle's favorites, perhaps the only child she truly loves. Even if Jim Bob wanted to disown Josh, she would never permit it. 

I wonder how much it has to do with sheer stubbornness on JB's part. He'll be damned if he admits that he was ever wrong about how he raised Josh and how he handled the abuse. So Josh still had to be the golden child. I'm sure JB has been constantly campaigning to have Josh back on the show.

2 hours ago, PikaScrewChu said:

I don't think the money matters to Jill as much as the ability to "leave and cleave".

Bit ironic for people who claim that once a woman leaves she's under the umbrella of protection of her husband, but as soon as a daughter said no to the show, she was essentially kicked to the curb by her father.

She's come a very long way since leaving the show. Who knew it would be Jill that started critically analyzing her belief system?

It's the public aspect of it, I think. If they didn't have the show and Jill was just following her headship and changing her way of life, JB would have much of a problem.

"We're not a tv family" indeed.

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I don't think Jill will bring up the molestation, because this isn't really a tell-all, but if she does, it is her story (well part of it) to tell.

I'm thinking Derick is behind her sharing the story with People Magazine. Although Jill sounds healthier, I get the feeling that she's become a weapon for Derick. Derick's behavior on SM, after TLC said no to the extra money, was inexcusable to me. Derick also caught a lot of shit for it. I feel like Derick is using Jill to clean up his own reputation and continue to jab JB. If Jill continues to have the 'under a headship' mentality, she may not realize it either.

I hope this is something that Jill wants to do and its not driven solely by Derick or for money.

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I don't see JB & M wanting to control the marrieds that have actually flown the coop. Especially Michelle, she seems to be very happy when they leave. I think JB wants everyone to stay in line so the show can continue and they both want the kids to remain Fundy, but I don't think it goes much beyond that.

I don't think they would have cared all that much if Jill and Derick came to them and said they wanted to leave the show. But that's not what happened. Jill did not "quietly" leave the show. Derick pitched a fit with TLC and JB.

The Duggar males are really between a rock and a hard place. The need to be financially sound, yet they can't work for others. Now JB is stuck supplementing their TLC income by being their boss. Being the cheapskate that he is, I think JB would much rather have them making their own money.

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2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't think Jill will bring up the molestation, because this isn't really a tell-all, but if she does, it is her story (well part of it) to tell.

I'm thinking Derick is behind her sharing the story with People Magazine. Although Jill sounds healthier, I get the feeling that she's become a weapon for Derick. Derick's behavior on SM, after TLC said no to the extra money, was inexcusable to me. Derick also caught a lot of shit for it. I feel like Derick is using Jill to clean up his own reputation and continue to jab JB. If Jill continues to have the 'under a headship' mentality, she may not realize it either.

I hope this is something that Jill wants to do and its not driven solely by Derick or for money.

I don't particularly care about Jill or her feelings, frankly, but I agree with this. All of these positive changes are so clearly about monetizing their social media and making Derick look like the good one in the Duggar universe.

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I don't see JB & M wanting to control the marrieds that have actually flown the coop. Especially Michelle, she seems to be very happy when they leave. I think JB wants everyone to stay in line so the show can continue and they both want the kids to remain Fundy, but I don't think it goes much beyond that.

I don't think they would have cared all that much if Jill and Derick came to them and said they wanted to leave the show. But that's not what happened. Jill did not "quietly" leave the show. Derick pitched a fit with TLC and JB.

I think Jim Bob wants to control everyone in the family, from who they marry to when they choose to wipe their ass after taking a number 2. Jim Bob is in complete control of Michelle to the point that she always seemed like a robot to me. I think he is very controlling, and uses the show and money to keep a hold on his kids at all times. I think Jill and Derrick quitting the show without first seeking "permission" was a huge deal. Somehow, I never thought Jill would be the one to rebel. 

 

 

 

 

 

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14 minutes ago, MaryAnneSpier said:

This stuck out to me from the People article: 

"Our control to choose what jobs we were allowed to accept and even where we were allowed to live was taken away from us," Jill says, adding that goals they'd had as a couple were squashed if they conflicted with the network or family's plans.

Derick, who is now in his final year of law school, elaborates, "The first few years of our marriage, we spent time and money working towards opportunities only to hit a dead end when we'd be told, 'Well, you're not allowed to do that.'"

This feels like a lie to me. Derrick quit his corporate accounting job. They grifted money to become "missionaries" and went to Danger America and failed. Derrick solicited money to do a year-long pastoring mentorship program, and nothing came of it. Jill didn't seem interested or driven enough to pursue a job using her "medical things".  Seems to me, they (and Derrick especially) are still blaming others for their own failures. It's okay to try something and not always succeed. Failure is a part of life. 

I can actually buy the incompatibility of a corporate job and filming an ongoing reality show.  Corporations like Walmart expect their fulltime employees to put in fulltime hours on a consistent basis.  Derick can't just take off whenever TLC comes calling.  And the production company cannot schedule a whole show around when Derick can get time off from his job.  Then you factor in the corporate image situation, and you can see why businesses don't want to give up control and why would TLC give Walmart control over what is being shown.  There is a reason why most reality tv stars do not work regular 9-5 jobs in businesses their do not own.  

 

There is also the fact that I don't think Derick particularly wanted that accounting degree and job at Walmart.  I think Cathy persuaded him to get is degree and lined up that job because he was an adult and needed an adult job.  The SOS gig is what Derick really wanted.

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50 minutes ago, Kellyee said:

I think Jim Bob wants to control everyone in the family, from who they marry to when they choose to wipe their ass after taking a number 2. Jim Bob is in complete control of Michelle to the point that she always seemed like a robot to me. I think he is very controlling, and uses the show and money to keep a hold on his kids at all times. I think Jill and Derrick quitting the show without first seeking "permission" was a huge deal. Somehow, I never thought Jill would be the one to rebel. 

That's interesting. I actually think Michelle controls JB far more than he influences her. She plays the role of the bobble head submissive wife fairly well, but when you watch the shows or the times when they speak at conferences, Michelle is in charge - almost all the time. 

IMO, inside JB is the bumbling goofball teenager who snagged the sexy cheerleader, and they both know that.

Edited by GeeGolly
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15 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

 

Preschoolin’ NOT homeschoolin’. Awful beliefs aside Israel and Sam are miles ahead of their cousins. Looks like Jill has also learned along the way that being part of a herd 24/7 is not healthy.  Jill became a “buddy” (sister mom) to Joy when she was six years old. I truly hope she enjoys one on one time with Sam and realizes it’s healthy not to have a child production line. 

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2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I don't see JB & M wanting to control the marrieds that have actually flown the coop. Especially Michelle, she seems to be very happy when they leave. I think JB wants everyone to stay in line so the show can continue and they both want the kids to remain Fundy, but I don't think it goes much beyond that.

I don't think they would have cared all that much if Jill and Derick came to them and said they wanted to leave the show. But that's not what happened. Jill did not "quietly" leave the show. Derick pitched a fit with TLC and JB.

The Duggar males are really between a rock and a hard place. The need to be financially sound, yet they can't work for others. Now JB is stuck supplementing their TLC income by being their boss. Being the cheapskate that he is, I think JB would much rather have them making their own money.

JB does nothing but control his children, adult and otherwise. Michelle may be happy to have them get married and leave, but they're not allowed to leave until they're married. She does not encourage them to continue their education, learn life skills, or find employment that will allow them to be independent of their parents and/or TLC.

I also don't think JB would have graciously allowed them to stop filming had Derick not pitched his fit. He would have bullied and guilted them into continuing because the show is his biggest ego stroke. Also, Derick was fired/let go/not filmed but Jill was still on the show for a bit after his big meltdown. 

JB built this show around how holy and godly they were because they did all these different things. Every adult child who rejects one of his commandments is, in a sense, rejecting him and he takes it personally. 

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I think the point about reality TV stars not working 9-5 because of their show is something people forget. I can't think of anyone on a major reality show that works a "regular" job on top of the reality TV show gig once the going gets good. You are at the mercy of the network.

The Scary Central America trip could have well been a compromise between the Dillards, JB/Meech, and TLC to stay on the show but still be at TLC's beck and call. 

Katie at Without a Crystal Ball said that Jill wanted to stop filming after the molestation became public but was pressured to keep going. Now how reliable Katie is, who knows. She was doing the "interview" via emails with Derick.

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2 hours ago, Kellyee said:

I think Jim Bob wants to control everyone in the family, from who they marry to when they choose to wipe their ass after taking a number 2. Jim Bob is in complete control of Michelle to the point that she always seemed like a robot to me. I think he is very controlling, and uses the show and money to keep a hold on his kids at all times. I think Jill and Derrick quitting the show without first seeking "permission" was a huge deal. Somehow, I never thought Jill would be the one to rebel. 

 

 

 

 

 

I think Michelle is more in control then we know. 

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3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

That's interesting. I actually think Michelle controls JB far more than he influences her. She plays the role of the bobble head submissive wife fairly well, but when you watch the shows or the times when they speak at conferences, Michelle is in charge - almost all the time. 

IMO, inside JB is the bumbling goofball teenager who snagged the sexy cheerleader, and they both know that.

I agree with this.  I happen to know a LOT of fundie families.  I live in rural PA/OH (border) and I probably personally know 10-12 families who fit the large family, denim skirt, homeschool box.  Out of ALL the families, only one was led into fundamentalism by the husband.  The women I know in this cult are VERY controlling, but always appear to be super submissive.  The one husband used to skateboard with my husband (back in the 90's) and they still go running together.  He told DH that their 12 year old daughter can't read,  and that he wanted to send her to public school (where our kids go) and her reply was, "No.  The Lord will help us educate her.  Read your BIble."  She used religious abuse to shame him out of having a say.  I see it ALL the time.  They always appear prim, proper, and silent in public and at church...but the opposite is usually always true.  

It's kind of like FB.  When you see a couple loving all over each other online, there's usually problems at home they're trying to hide.  I'm not saying that JB is an innocent.  He is for sure a small dicked asshole trying to constantly prove his manhood...and maybe that's why.  Michelle really is in control.  

I will ALSO add that among these fundie cults I've noticed that many of these women have a baby hoarding mentality.  Most of them LOVE LOVE LOVE babies, but lose interest when the baby is about 12-24 months old...so time for a new one.  Another friend (the husband of the family) desperately wants to have a vasectomy.  His wife will cry and cry and say "Just 1 more!!!  God wants us to have another!" ...they're pregnant with their 7th.  😞  He always gives in.  

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46 minutes ago, Meow25 said:

I agree with this.  I happen to know a LOT of fundie families.  I live in rural PA/OH (border) and I probably personally know 10-12 families who fit the large family, denim skirt, homeschool box.  Out of ALL the families, only one was led into fundamentalism by the husband.  The women I know in this cult are VERY controlling, but always appear to be super submissive.  The one husband used to skateboard with my husband (back in the 90's) and they still go running together.  He told DH that their 12 year old daughter can't read,  and that he wanted to send her to public school (where our kids go) and her reply was, "No.  The Lord will help us educate her.  Read your BIble."  She used religious abuse to shame him out of having a say.  I see it ALL the time.  They always appear prim, proper, and silent in public and at church...but the opposite is usually always true.  

It's kind of like FB.  When you see a couple loving all over each other online, there's usually problems at home they're trying to hide.  I'm not saying that JB is an innocent.  He is for sure a small dicked asshole trying to constantly prove his manhood...and maybe that's why.  Michelle really is in control.  

I will ALSO add that among these fundie cults I've noticed that many of these women have a baby hoarding mentality.  Most of them LOVE LOVE LOVE babies, but lose interest when the baby is about 12-24 months old...so time for a new one.  Another friend (the husband of the family) desperately wants to have a vasectomy.  His wife will cry and cry and say "Just 1 more!!!  God wants us to have another!" ...they're pregnant with their 7th.  😞  He always gives in.  

I see this with Josh and Anna...and maybe Jessa and Ben, and Josiah and Lauren. 

The only couple who I feel that the wife truly defers to the husband is Jinger/Jeremy.

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I'm curious how much more Jill will confess to keep the money rolling in. Do you think a book is out of the question? I would love to see Jill's new version of Growing Up Duggar.

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