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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


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Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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38 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I would think the blooming onion, or any fried food for that matter, would make someone with supposed all-day morning sickness pretty naseous. And she just can't get rid of that damn mustard cardigan, can she? 

I'm wondering if she only has it if there's some responsibility to avoid, but yeah, the sight of that thing makes me want to puke, so I couldn't imagine her wanting something like that in her condition unless she also has cravings.

Mustard Cardigan is like her Linus blanket.

Edited by Arwen Evenstar
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Maybe Jill really does have bad morning sickness. Or maybe....she has pretty typical, occasional, nondebilitating mornjng sickness, but since her one 'job' is to be pregnant, she's milking it for all it is worth.

She'd rather hyper focus and obsess on the one part of her life that is if interest to her, instead of finding ways to cope like the rest of the world.  Just my 2 cents. 

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Morning sickness, unless it's all day, every day, is usually episodic, so I get she'd be ok with some foods and tolerate them just fine later in the day.

Muffy tries my patience because she's always got to be so frail and the center of attention...but I guess this is how she got to be the favorite by clinging and whining to stay #1 with Daddy and set herself apart from the other 19. That way, she cemented her "place" in the pecking order.  However, wrt the tools and tactics she used to get her needs met as a child, she's not evolved very far past that and it's not playing out well now that she's a wife and mother.

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40 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Morning sickness, unless it's all day, every day, is usually episodic, so I get she'd be ok with some foods and tolerate them just fine later in the day.

Muffy tries my patience because she's always got to be so frail and the center of attention...but I guess this is how she got to be the favorite by clinging and whining to stay #1 with Daddy and set herself apart from the other 19. That way, she cemented her "place" in the pecking order.  However, wrt the tools and tactics she used to get her needs met as a child, she's not evolved very far past that and it's not playing out well now that she's a wife and mother.

Hahaha remember the wisdom tooth episode? Jana acted like any other slightly nervous kid, but Jill had a meltdown, complete with waterworks and clinging to JB. 

2 hours ago, queenanne said:

Er... did you mean the banister?  I didn't see said shots so can't judge or recall... if she thinks you're supposed to dust the treads I'd not be surprised to find housekeeping in general is a puzzle for her, but it did cause some amusing images to come about in my head.  Aren't your feet generally dusting the stairs, or at least keeping dust from hanging around long enough to accumulate?

I honestly think she was! It was weird enough that I remember it years later. I think she was walking up the stairs, eyes glazed over like a zombie, sort of sweeping the step ahead of her with a feather duster. I think sit was between talking heads about the house being soooooo...big...and...hard to clean!

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I'm only going by what Jill herself said about her "all-day" sickness. This was quite recent, so I doubt much has changed. Now, I don't think it's on the scale of Kate Middleton's illness, but I remember being really sick with Izzy, so there is precedent. 

I also realize it can wax and wane, but this sounds like it was a planned date, so she couldn't have been feeling THAT bad. IOW, I wouldn't put it past her to exaggerate her symptoms to gain sympathy from the leghumpers. 

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20 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I honestly think she was! It was weird enough that I remember it years later. I think she was walking up the stairs, eyes glazed over like a zombie, sort of sweeping the step ahead of her with a feather duster. I think sit was between talking heads about the house being soooooo...big...and...hard to clean!

In Jill's world, everything is "super hard" to deal with.  Zero coping skills and intellectually and emotionally immature, the real world would reduce her to road kill in no time flat.  She wouldn't even be able to make it through the rigors of training for a job at Chick Fil A (not knocking anyone who works there...takes focus and skill to get orders right and keep things clean) much less any other Big Boy or Big Girl job.

On top of an inadequate SOTDRT education, Gothard women are NOT encouraged to show any intelligence superior to that of Gothard males. Even if she's just doing Bible study now, I'll give her a pass, as she's got some hunger to learn SOMETHING. What scares me is that as woefully unprepared for reality as Jill is, being one of the elders, she's been relatively better educated and had more one on one than her younger siblings. Boob and MeChelle, hope you realize that this is the best outcome that your handiwork and failure of a social experiment is going to have; it only goes downhill from here.

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Yep you have to dust the tread of stairs if you don't have carpet because dust does accumulate, at least in my house and I don't live in the dust bowl. I just have asthma so very little carpet and few rugs which catch lots of dust. Have I done it this week? Uhm why do you ask? And I have never dusted my bannister. So if Muffin was doing that, she was slightly confused.

Unless Josie had just rubbed her grubby self all over it or licked it.

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49 minutes ago, RazzleberryPie said:

True, but i don't think Jill is playing dumb. She's just dumb. Bless her heart. Good thing she's in a world where that's ok.

The problem is, that this world of theirs you mention is indeed a very small one that will go the way of the dinosaur sooner rather than later, and then what?

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I think it's so sad that Jill has zero coping skills or ability to handle a simple task, because in another world, she could be a nurse. The only thing she has ever seemed sincere about to me was her desire to go into the medical field. She may not have been smart enough to get through nursing school, but she would have been hungry enough to try. That is clearly her "calling," but the door to pursuing it has been closed on her, and she is probably too stunted to succeed anyway. Very sad. 

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34 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I think it's so sad that Jill has zero coping skills or ability to handle a simple task, because in another world, she could be a nurse. The only thing she has ever seemed sincere about to me was her desire to go into the medical field. She may not have been smart enough to get through nursing school, but she would have been hungry enough to try. That is clearly her "calling," but the door to pursuing it has been closed on her, and she is probably too stunted to succeed anyway. Very sad. 

So much this! She wasn't even given the tools to get to even try to follow her dream, much less hope to achieve it.  She needed a lot more science than a trip to the Creation Museum to become a nurse. Also having to learn anatomy and look at naked men seems far to unseemly in the Gothardverse...yep, squelched and squashed.

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6 hours ago, ginger90 said:

"Chipper attitude" is a new one.

Derick went to the grocery store, oh my!!

https://www.instagram.com/p/BO-AMkRFwME/?taken-by=jillmdillard

I think it might have been one of those grocery stores that you can order your items on line.  The staff collects your order. You show up in your car curbside, give them your credit card, they go inside, process it & then load your groceries into your car. 

ETA - what makes this method of shopping really Duggar friendly is that most supermarkets don't allow tipping for this service.

Edited by ariel
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19 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

What does this even mean? That Derick's a Hall and Oates fan? Da fuq?

Loose interpretation = even decent people sometimes lack wisdom and put themselves in situations that lead to bad outcomes AKA a good kid knowing better, but ignoring what he knows and following a hooker, who may not seem so bad at first but is basically out to seduce and rob him. Little Red Riding Hood type cautionary tale.

Duggar interpretation = women are immodest whores hired by the devil to trick honest men into sinnng. 

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17 minutes ago, RazzleberryPie said:

Loose interpretation = even decent people sometimes lack wisdom and put themselves in situations that lead to bad outcomes AKA a good kid knowing better, but ignoring what he knows and following a hooker, who may not seem so bad at first but is basically out to seduce and rob him. Little Red Riding Hood type cautionary tale.

Duggar interpretation = women are immodest whores hired by the devil to trick honest men into sinnng. 

So Josh scandal III?

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Yeah, I looked up the verses, and I just shook my head. Why is he writing about defrauding, wicked seductresses? Someone on his twitter asked if there was a woman besides Jill who he was attracted to. LMAO. 

I don't think exposing Joshgate III is Dullard's story to (obliquely) tell. Not to mention, I don't think Smuggar is allowed on social media, so who is this message really for? 

If I didn't know that Dullard was a teetotaler, I'd say that he was PUI (posting under the influence). 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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Just now, RazzleberryPie said:

Who knows. Doubt it. Derrick probably just saw a Shape Magzine cover at the grocery story and got all hot and bothered/tricked by the Devil. 

That Hall and Oates song was a hit when I was about 15, so way before his time. Lots of supermarkets play 80's music nowadays, so that's probably how he heard the song.

Maybe, he realized how easy it is for one to get all hot and bothered after some Chickie hit on him?

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1 minute ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

That Hall and Oates song was a hit when I was about 15, so way before his time. Lots of supermarkets play 80's music nowadays, so that's probably how he heard the song.

Maybe, he realized how easy it is for one to get all hot and bothered after some Chickie hit on him?

Nelly Furtado remade it about 15 years ago, too. We had a Pom routine to it in college.

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19 minutes ago, RazzleberryPie said:

Nelly Furtado remade it about 15 years ago, too. We had a Pom routine to it in college.

More like 10 years ago. I don't consider it a cover of Hall & Oats.  It just shares the same song title but sounds nothing like the original and doesn't share any of the original lyrics other than "She's a maneater. "

Edited by Joe Jitsu913
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11 minutes ago, RazzleberryPie said:

Nelly Furtado remade it about 15 years ago, too. We had a Pom routine to it in college.

Yeah, I know this, but I chose the oldie because it was as wacky as his "cautionary tale." He probably heard the Nelly Furtado version in college, maybe at a game or something. No way he'd know the Hall and Oates version. He played trumpet. Not many Hall and Oates songs come up in marching band rotations. I should know. I was in a marching band when the song hit it big. :D

Edited by Sew Sumi
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1 minute ago, Sew Sumi said:

Yeah, I know this, but I chose the oldie because it was as wacky as his "cautionary tale." He probably heard the Nelly Furtado version in college, maybe at a game or something. No way he'd know the Hall and Oates version. 

Unless he heard it at the supermarkets. Supermarkets in Texas are playing 80s music a lot of the time now. Arkansas is likely following suit.

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He could have learned Maneater from his dad, too. I'll never forget the day in 1995 when my 3-year-old daughter surprised me by singing that very song word for word . . in the grocery store . . . over and over again . . . at the top of her lungs. I had no idea her dad had taught it to her. 

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57 minutes ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

Or even now ❤️❤️❤️

And every woman, aside from me, on the Shopping Channel board. I will sit at my table for two with Sting. :D

Speaking of Sting, Triple D should have also hashtagged #Roxanne. It certainly fits with his little preachy lesson. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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On 1/4/2017 at 5:30 PM, Absolom said:

Every time I hear or read about people praying over parking places,  phone covers, clothes, etc., I'm reminded of a homily when I was a teen about not praying to receive trivia.  It was also called avoiding selfish praying or bugging God over things a person should use their God given brain to handle or decide. 

I call that Santa Claus God.  

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If Jill reads his tweets, and I think she does, she totally screwed up when she posted the pic of Izzy with Cathy, who wore an apron that referenced SANTA. Who, according to Derick, doesn't exist. 

At best, they're trying to have it both ways. At worst, there's a fundamental lack of communication between the couple. You'd think that when Derick makes these proclomations, he brags to Jill about them to show how enlightened he is before engaging the masses. But for some reason, even if Derick doesn't talk to her about his tweets, wanna bet that she monitors his social media like a clingy hawk? 

In which case, she's an idiot. Doesn't she realize that people know how to access both Twitter and Instagram? 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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10 hours ago, Chicklet said:

Yep you have to dust the tread of stairs if you don't have carpet because dust does accumulate, at least in my house and I don't live in the dust bowl. I just have asthma so very little carpet and few rugs which catch lots of dust. Have I done it this week? Uhm why do you ask? And I have never dusted my bannister. So if Muffin was doing that, she was slightly confused.

Unless Josie had just rubbed her grubby self all over it or licked it.

Aha, thanks!  I've only ever had carpet with the exception of a little "sunken" stair, which I damp-mopped along with the rest of the wooden floors once a month or so, thus I was imagining the dust more or less flying off the edges as one trod, lol.

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11 hours ago, Chicklet said:

Yep you have to dust the tread of stairs if you don't have carpet because dust does accumulate, at least in my house and I don't live in the dust bowl. I just have asthma so very little carpet and few rugs which catch lots of dust. Have I done it this week? Uhm why do you ask? And I have never dusted my bannister. So if Muffin was doing that, she was slightly confused.

Unless Josie had just rubbed her grubby self all over it or licked it.

Actually, if you have a dust allergy like myself, it is better to have carpets to catch the dust, rather than having it flung in the air at every move. Asthma may be a bit different of course, but this is a fairly new line of thinking. It used to be that you should have laminate instead of carpet

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22 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I think Cathy needs to have a talk with Derick about ruining future Christmases for Izzy. After Derick's Twitter rant, I sense a bit of backpedaling here. Or Jilly is so out of it that she didn't even know about the tweet. 

That apron does say that you don't need Santa, though. I can see them giving that a pass because they figure it's pretty much the same message. You've got Grandma (and a Jesus-loving Grandma at that), so who needs this Santa guy? .... I know that's not the intent of the slogan for regular people, but you can definitely read it that way. It doesn't say Hurrah for Santa! It says -- Who needs him?  ...  I mean, if somebody said, "Who needs Churchhoney when we have Sew Sumi?" I'd take that as a dis

What really strikes me about this picture, though, is how completely and utterly different it is from anything that would get posted about Jizm Bob and Meeechelle. Here's this lovely picture of these two. And I expect that even silly Jill and Derick can see that it is lovely. And it's truly all about the very warm feelings that they have for Cathy and that Cathy has for them and their baby. There's nothing cooked up about it, nothing stiff about it. And no need to make any efforts to spout exactly the proper theological concepts (even though they get Jesus in there, of course) or censor Santa or whatever. It's just so much more natural than anything you'd ever see with JB and M involved. I don't see how this can't make an impression on Jill over time, very gradually weaning her away from the idea that her family is the be-all and end-all of what's right I can't believe that she won't eventually see that, since now she is regularly exposed to people who are basically normal rather than insanely selfish narcissists.

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19 hours ago, ginger90 said:

"Chipper attitude" is a new one.

 

Well, it's actually a really old one. When you grew up around old people in the back woods, you heard this one a lot. It meant "keeps chirpy and upbeat even when thing are rotten." Looking at it here, I'm kind of sorry it went away, actually. "Chipper" sort of sounds like what it means, I think .... Unless you start thinking of the woodchipper, of course ...

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13 minutes ago, toodles said:

 

One of the leghumpers asked Jill for a book recommendation.  Jill reading a book?  Good one!!  It gave me my laugh for the morning.

Well, there's always "Before You Meet Prince Charming." Or she may have read "Growing Up Duggar."

Come to think of it, though, at least she's not like Jessa, listing herself as "author" online. And Jill might actually have more cred than Jess in that role, since Jill at least apparently read the midwife-helper manual and at one point said she wanted to go to college. And in Duggar world, that's just as good as going. .... Better, in fact.

Edited by Churchhoney
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1 hour ago, Churchhoney said:

That apron does say that you don't need Santa, though. I can see them giving that a pass because they figure it's pretty much the same message. You've got Grandma (and a Jesus-loving Grandma at that), so who needs this Santa guy? .... I know that's not the intent of the slogan for regular people, but you can definitely read it that way. 

Yep, 'regular' person here. To me it reads "he does exist", but that would be to complicated for them.

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2 hours ago, Churchhoney said:

That apron does say that you don't need Santa, though. I can see them giving that a pass because they figure it's pretty much the same message. You've got Grandma (and a Jesus-loving Grandma at that), so who needs this Santa guy? .... I know that's not the intent of the slogan for regular people, but you can definitely read it that way. It doesn't say Hurrah for Santa! It says -- Who needs him?  ...  I mean, if somebody said, "Who needs Churchhoney when we have Sew Sumi?" I'd take that as a dis

What really strikes me about this picture, though, is how completely and utterly different it is from anything that would get posted about Jizm Bob and Meeechelle. Here's this lovely picture of these two. And I expect that even silly Jill and Derick can see that it is lovely. And it's truly all about the very warm feelings that they have for Cathy and that Cathy has for them and their baby. There's nothing cooked up about it, nothing stiff about it. And no need to make any efforts to spout exactly the proper theological concepts (even though they get Jesus in there, of course) or censor Santa or whatever. It's just so much more natural than anything you'd ever see with JB and M involved. I don't see how this can't make an impression on Jill over time, very gradually weaning her away from the idea that her family is the be-all and end-all of what's right I can't believe that she won't eventually see that, since now she is regularly exposed to people who are basically normal rather than insanely selfish narcissists.

I couldn't read the small print on her apron. Silly me, I thought it was an affirming message about both Santa and Grandmas. My bad.

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Perhaps what twisted Derelict's man bun that day were those people he figured believed in Santa but not God.  Surely, this thinking is likely out there, but most atheists or skeptics I've met or known would have found such an idea rather absurd.

Or maybe he's just bent out of shape about religious holidays being all about consumption and commercialism than what they're supposed to be about. There are times that really sticks in my craw since I'm old enough to remember things being different in that regard, but you would never see me out there trying to spoil everyone else's fun by tweeting that Santa isn't real or depriving my own kids or my nieces and nephews of their "fun".

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The reasoning I've heard from Christian people who don't do Santa is that 1) they don't want to lie to their children, 2) they think when their kids figure out Santa is their parents, they'll break all trust and 3) (ok this one is religious) they want to focus the holiday on the birth of Christ and not commercialism and gifts.

Whole other story I guess for people who aren't from a Christian background or culture. 

I think one of my Aunties had a similar sweat shirt. Catholic Christian, no Santa hater, but one of her grandkids or kids thought it was cute to give her a shirt that said she was better than Santa. She had nothing growing up, so to compare her now with the man who gives all the toys, she loved it. No big political statement, just love for their grandmother. 

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2 minutes ago, RazzleberryPie said:

The reasoning I've heard from Christian people who don't do Santa is that 1) they don't want to lie to their children, 2) they think when their kids figure out Santa is their parents, they'll break all trust and 3) (ok this one is religious) they want to focus the holiday on the birth of Christ and not commercialism and gifts.

Whole other story I guess for people who aren't from a Christian background or culture. 

 

There are many people from a Christian background & culture who do celebrate the story of Santa.  Christians come in many flavors. Many are liberal & ordain women.  The fundies/So. Baptists don't own the term "Christian".

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