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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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9 minutes ago, DragonFaerie said:

So IIRC, when Jill and Derick went to Danger America for their not missionication, they were home and the shower caddy fell in their bathroom.  They thought the house was under attack and locked themselves in the bedroom while sending out texts to their families to pray for them.

This video shows them talking about the incident: 

 

https://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/jill-duggar-cries-after-fearing-for-safety-on-counting-on-w446646/

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Late to the party, Lemur and By the Lake:

On Eagles Wings by Michael Joncas is a lovely, touching song.  I think it is in the top 10 of Catholic hymns (really).

 

I've heard it and sung it mostly at funerals (too many to count), along with Be Not Afraid.

The alto part is a difficult one to sing--can't do it alone and need another alto beside me. 

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17 minutes ago, lascuba said:

The kicker was that Jill told that story as an example of just how dangerous Central America is. She, Derick, and all the Duggars went on and on and on about how noble they were for living in such a dangerous country, and when a producer asked Jill for an example, her hysteria over a fallen shower caddy was all she could come up with. If I hadn't already hated her by then, that story would have done it.  After Josh, JB and Michelle, Jill is very much The Worst Dugger.

All of the sisters standing behind them look completely OVER this story. Jessa looks like she's trying hard to pump up the pathos so they can keep the show going.

Derick at least put his arm around Jill and showed some support -- it may have been for the camera, but it's more than he would do now.

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3 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

Derick at least put his arm around Jill and showed some support -- it may have been for the camera, but it's more than he would do now.

Well, he takes his volunteering seriously and wanted to do a good job.  So nice of him!

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"Do it again, Lord" with no context sounds vaguely dirty.

Wanting context, I googled Luke 1:37 and depending on which bible you're reading, it's variations on "nothing will be impossible with God." So I guess the 'do it again' slogan is meant to mean that God has cured people in the past, and as nothing is impossible they want him to do it again.

Edit: the bit before that in the bible (Luke 1:36) is about the angel Gabriel telling Mary that God can make even a barren woman pregnant.

Edited by kalamac
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1 hour ago, galaxychaser said:

If I was Jill I’d chop off 12 inches of that hair. I just chopped off most of my hair and I feel great.

Unfortunately, Jill and the rest of the Duggar girls have been told that their hair is their crowning glory. And that long hair is preferred by God.. Or something. 

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2 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

 

I'm going to say a couple of nice things about Jill (and Derick).

I think Jill looks pretty in the picture. She looks clean, her hair is combed, she's wearing new clothing, and she's smiling like a normal person -- not the big-eyed "surprise" face.

I do think that she is doing a better job than her mother -- as GeeGolly states, the bar is very low, but she's doing it. 

    * The kids look clean and in more recent photos they are wearing normal clothing

    * She cooks for her family -- not well -- but she does make them meals and they do sit together as a family and eat.

    * Izzy wears pajamas. The Duggars all sleep in their clothes, so this is a big thing. It appears that he only has one pair of pajamas (I assume Grandma Cathy bought them), but he has them, and wears them.

    * I think she's trying to provide some structure for her kids (meal time, daddy play time, bed time, etc.). I don't think she's very consistent, but considering that she has had none of that her life, I'll give her some credit for trying.

I will also say that I think it's possible that Derick might be a better father to his sons when they're a bit older. He wouldn't be the first father to not enjoy babies and toddlers, but grow into the role as his children become more verbal and independent.

That's really about the best I can do for them though.

I'd also add, she truly seems to care about other people not related to her, as I can't recall the last time I've seen any Duggar worrying or praying openly about someone outside their family (Jill's friend undergoing chemotherapy), as anything other than some amorphous faceless blob of humanity (generic heathens and unnamed "sweet friends"); so props to Jill for showing sparks of actual "others-centeredness".

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I remember thinking that of all the Duggar kids, it would be Jill who would be the most likely to adopt a child. She really cared about the orphans when they were on their mission trips and I recall one teen girl asked Jill to take her home with her and Jill was in tears because she couldn't. I still wonder if that's a possibility, international adoption. That said, I'm also wondering if she'll soon be pregnant again. Jill may not be in favor of it but I really doubt Derrick is completely against birth control. 

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11 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

All of the sisters standing behind them look completely OVER this story. Jessa looks like she's trying hard to pump up the pathos so they can keep the show going.

Derick at least put his arm around Jill and showed some support -- it may have been for the camera, but it's more than he would do now.

Oh, Jessa's reaction was so funny to me, because she so obviously knew that Jill sounded ridiculous and went into immediate damage control mode, going on about all the gunshots they could hear constantly. Jessa with an education and without the religious beliefs could have really been something.

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57 minutes ago, WhineandCheez said:

She is very pretty.  Her husband is a troll and is pear-shaped. I'm sooo glad that in today's gender-fluid culture, they made the girls wear pink and the boys blue. One of the 8 year old girls has hair like Loretta Lynn in 1962--WHY?

To each their own, but I find Jill R. downright terrifying.  As for the pink and blue...I vehemently disagree.

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2 hours ago, WhineandCheez said:

She is very pretty.  Her husband is a troll and is pear-shaped. I'm sooo glad that in today's gender-fluid culture, they made the girls wear pink and the boys blue. One of the 8 year old girls has hair like Loretta Lynn in 1962--WHY?

Haha

 

haha 

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8 minutes ago, lulu69 said:

Wasn't it later revealed that the CA house the Dillards stayed in was in a gated compound with 24hr security? To me, that's the real kicker.

It was, yes.

Regardless if the boogeymen were real or imagined, I do believe Jill's fear was genuine. I imagine her anxiety was off the charts during that time. Her private trauma had just been splashed all over the tabloids, she had a new baby and she'd recently fled to a foreign country where she had no friends or family nearby. As much as I don't like Jill, I can understand how the combination of those factors turned her into a basketcase. When you're in a bad place emotionally, even the little things can get to you.

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14 hours ago, cmr2014 said:

 

I'm going to say a couple of nice things about Jill (and Derick).

I think Jill looks pretty in the picture. She looks clean, her hair is combed, she's wearing new clothing, and she's smiling like a normal person -- not the big-eyed "surprise" face.

I do think that she is doing a better job than her mother -- as GeeGolly states, the bar is very low, but she's doing it. 

    * The kids look clean and in more recent photos they are wearing normal clothing

    * She cooks for her family -- not well -- but she does make them meals and they do sit together as a family and eat.

    * Izzy wears pajamas. The Duggars all sleep in their clothes, so this is a big thing. It appears that he only has one pair of pajamas (I assume Grandma Cathy bought them), but he has them, and wears them.

    * I think she's trying to provide some structure for her kids (meal time, daddy play time, bed time, etc.). I don't think she's very consistent, but considering that she has had none of that her life, I'll give her some credit for trying.

I will also say that I think it's possible that Derick might be a better father to his sons when they're a bit older. He wouldn't be the first father to not enjoy babies and toddlers, but grow into the role as his children become more verbal and independent.

That's really about the best I can do for them though.

Great post!   Reading your paragraph about Derick as a dad gave me pause though.   I think Derick does just fine with the baby stage and hates the toddler/child phase.   He used to play with and interact with Izzy a lot when he was younger (according to what we were shown on the show, but who really knows) and now it appears he doesn’t care to be bothered with him.   He still gives time and attention to Sam, though.   The guy is all kinds of bizarre.

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4 minutes ago, PradaKitty said:

Regarding Jill - being alone after having lived with tons of siblings must be very scary and every noise frightening. 

Having grown up as an only child, I relish my alone time. 

I'm an only child and for the most part, I am happy to be alone. Sometimes, my husband will be downstairs, my son (also an only child) in his room and me in my room all doing our own thing. I find I don't have this urge to be texting all the time or have to be on my cell phone 24/7. I can be alone, I can not talk to people .... I have friends, I enjoy their company but I'm okay in small groups. 

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3 hours ago, BitterApple said:

It was, yes.

Regardless if the boogeymen were real or imagined, I do believe Jill's fear was genuine. I imagine her anxiety was off the charts during that time. Her private trauma had just been splashed all over the tabloids, she had a new baby and she'd recently fled to a foreign country where she had no friends or family nearby. As much as I don't like Jill, I can understand how the combination of those factors turned her into a basketcase. When you're in a bad place emotionally, even the little things can get to you.

Her reaction at the time of the shower caddy falling is understandable if not at all reasonable, Her still crying about it several months later, and worse, using that as an example of how dangerous her living conditions were, are not. She and Derick still insist on this narrative that they were trying to save this dangerous hellhole. That's both arrogant and racist as fuck. And if that shower caddy falling is still the most dangerous and frightening thing that ever happened to her there? She's also mind-numbingly stupid and I genuinely hope she still has nightmares about it.

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50 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

The whole Jill and the shower caddy story leaves me curious.  Similar to what @BitterApple stated, Jill was a newlywed, new mother, barely a year out of her childhood home, living in a foreign country with an infant. All that could make the average person a little jittery. But the fact that she tearfully recounted the story doesn't make sense, she was fine, Izzy was fine - nothing happened. Most folks would have said something like; living in Danger America was tough, so tough that a shower caddy falling left me very scared until I figured out what it was.

Why was she CRYING?

I think most of us would be laughing at ourselves for the overreaction to a trivial event when asked about it months later.  That Jill was still weeping and carrying on about it shows that she lacks resilience and perspective.  It's no wonder she seems to be so lost as a parent.

I'm one of six kids and always shared a bedroom until I was a junior in college and rented an apartment with 2 roommates.  When my last roommate got married in 1981, I got a place by myself and have lived alone ever since except for the occasional sibling staying briefly in their own rooms.  For that matter, from the ages of 9-18, I shared a double bed with my sister due to space considerations (four of us in 1 bedroom in one house, then tiny bedroom with no space for 2 beds in next house).  I love it.  It's no wonder I'm an old maid.

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15 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

I think most of us would be laughing at ourselves for the overreaction to a trivial event when asked about it months later.  That Jill was still weeping and carrying on about it shows that she lacks resilience and perspective.  It's no wonder she seems to be so lost as a parent.

I'm one of six kids and always shared a bedroom until I was a junior in college and rented an apartment with 2 roommates.  When my last roommate got married in 1981, I got a place by myself and have lived alone ever since except for the occasional sibling staying briefly in their own rooms.  For that matter, from the ages of 9-18, I shared a double bed with my sister due to space considerations (four of us in 1 bedroom in one house, then tiny bedroom with no space for 2 beds in next house).  I love it.  It's no wonder I'm an old maid.

Where would coddled Jill learn resilience, though?  Especially with a set of parents totally unwilling to push her, even if they notice she’s as timid as a mouse?  Extra especially when it’s something she doesn’t want to do in the first place, ‘be alone’?

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Exactly, developing resilience takes some introspection and a little bit of self-confidence which Jill and her siblings are in short-supply. It's pretty sad that she wasn't given the space and support to actually become a real person- a real person capable of thriving in a "normal" family...well ok on paper they are normal but in reality not so much.

Jill is scared of herself, other people, and the potential of life turning out in a way not predicted by her bible and her whackjob parents.

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32 minutes ago, queenanne said:

Where would coddled Jill learn resilience, though?  Especially with a set of parents totally unwilling to push her, even if they notice she’s as timid as a mouse?  Extra especially when it’s something she doesn’t want to do in the first place, ‘be alone’?

Exactly! I think prior to marriage, the only thing she really had to do that she hated was get her wisdom teeth out. After crying and cringing all over JB, I was shocked when he actually made her go through with it!

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57 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

I think most of us would be laughing at ourselves for the overreaction to a trivial event when asked about it months later.  That Jill was still weeping and carrying on about it shows that she lacks resilience and perspective.  It's no wonder she seems to be so lost as a parent.

1

A few months ago I heard a loud crash and walked through my home, but could never figure out what I heard.  The next day when I went to take a shower I realized my soap rack had fallen off the wall.  I did think about Jilly and her months-long breakdown, but I just laughed, picked up the soap, and put it back on the wall. 

As far as being alone, I'm an only child and all these years later I'm still single.  I have to admit when I go on dates, sometimes I feel like "do I want to share a home with this person?"  Usually, the answer is no. 

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7 minutes ago, dargosmydaddy said:

Sam still has his "please save me" look.

I <3 Sam.

Big bro Iz has his at around Sammy, protecting him.  I think Iz has his back in dealing with the crazy ‘rents.  They are both very cute little boys.  Too bad about their parents.

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15 minutes ago, doodlebug said:

Big bro Iz has his at around Sammy, protecting him.  I think Iz has his back in dealing with the crazy ‘rents.  They are both very cute little boys.  Too bad about their parents.

I find Sam especially cute. Can't put my finger on what it is, but he always makes me say awwww.

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12 minutes ago, Normades said:

I find Sam especially cute. Can't put my finger on what it is, but he always makes me say awwww.

With his wide-set eyes and little upturned nose he has sort of an elfish look, but in a sweet, cute way. I think he's adorable as well.

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11 hours ago, tabloidlover said:

Great post!   Reading your paragraph about Derick as a dad gave me pause though.   I think Derick does just fine with the baby stage and hates the toddler/child phase.   He used to play with and interact with Izzy a lot when he was younger (according to what we were shown on the show, but who really knows) and now it appears he doesn’t care to be bothered with him.   He still gives time and attention to Sam, though.   The guy is all kinds of bizarre.

Derick reminds me of Dad - Dad loves babies and doted on both my kids when they were infants. As they get older, he seems to not bother with them. My 2 yr old thinks he’s funny so he pays attention to her. my 5 yr old doesn’t like him thus he completely ignores her.  It’s infuritaring.

to bring it back to Derick - my dad is a narcissist and expects everyone to just looove him. I can see this dynamic in Derick too. 

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