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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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4 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

And this part of the story was necessary, why?

Well, it made me wish the missionaries would help the family get a place to live. That would be a compassionate thing to do. But, no, no. It's all about dunking them in water and adding their names to the missionaries' quota lists. 

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5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

And this part of the story was necessary, why?

To show that S.O.S. is grammar challenged?

To show that people in Danger America are losers?

To show that Jesus and S.O.S. are so open-minded and generous that they'll spend their ocean water and salvation even on unworthy poor people?

Edited by Churchhoney
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2 hours ago, BradandJanet said:

Well, it made me wish the missionaries would help the family get a place to live. That would be a compassionate thing to do. But, no, no. It's all about dunking them in water and adding their names to the missionaries' quota lists. 

Real missionaries would have built Rafael and his family their very own mud hut and given fresh water to drink and a huge bag of rice and dried beans.

Just sayin'

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On December 9, 2016 at 8:19 PM, Marigold said:

Trying to be objective, I don't think Jill and Derick brought good publicity to SOS.

When Jim Bob and Michelle and the entire clan went down there every year, I felt that was positive attention for SOS. 

Jill and Derick?  I didn't get that "feel good" vibe.  Constantly blathering on about the danger, no water, gunfire, Jill crying...it really didn't look very inviting.  If we had seen some amazing results, maybe.  But the viewer at home has seen zero.  I really couldn't write 5 things that those two clowns accomplished down there. Can I even write 1 thing?  They shared the Gospel, we think, but we aren't even sure about that because we saw no preaching, church or anything that looked like they planted a church or actually accomplished a darn thing. So no Christian SOS goals were accomplished and no humanitarian goals were accomplished?  

Maybe SOS did not like the edit they received?  The DANGER was a fun story line for Counting On but SOS probably didn't benefit at all from scaring the crap out of potential missioncationers. 

I agree!!! I think it all had to do with the way it was presented. A smiling Jill could have said, "wow! We didn't realize when we came down here that we might be out of running water for a week at a time--" (Looks at Derick and giggles) "--but you don't know those things before becoming a missionary! It was harder than we thought, but soooo worth it because ______." Or they could even say they realized it wasn't for them. The way they actually talk is just whining and complaining, while acting like they unfortunately have no choice but to continue. 

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Muffy didn't realize that being a missionary full time was a lot different than a missioncation.  In Fundieland, being a "missionary" sounds more respectable than actually not having an actual paying job somewhere or owning one' business, neither of which any of the Duggars were prepared for. The rigors involved in handing out DumDums and doing interpretive dance seemed too much for that pair of DumDums. Sorry Muffy, but to save souls, you actually might need to leave your house and meet locals.

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Being a missionary/ministry means going where one is called to do His work (charity, kindness, compassion, medical care, clothing, shoes, education, nourishing food, shelter, clean water, helping to plant crops, harvest them...), helping and comforting "the least of these" as He asked us to do, at home and afar.  Sometimes this means enduring discomfort, inconvenience, hardship far worse than not getting a hot shower or being able to go to Walmart or Starbucks, Muffy.  

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1 hour ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Being a missionary/ministry means going where one is called to do His work (charity, kindness, compassion, medical care, clothing, shoes, education, nourishing food, shelter, clean water, helping to plant crops, harvest them...), helping and comforting "the least of these" as He asked us to do, at home and afar.  Sometimes this means enduring discomfort, inconvenience, hardship far worse than not getting a hot shower or being able to go to Walmart or Starbucks, Muffy.  

Great post.  Doing His work.  Work being the operative word in that phrase.  It's work that requires compassion, understanding, empathy and a genuine desire to help.  It's difficult and dirty.  Give it up jilly muffin.  It's not for you.

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1 hour ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Being a missionary/ministry means going where one is called to do His work (charity, kindness, compassion, medical care, clothing, shoes, education, nourishing food, shelter, clean water, helping to plant crops, harvest them...), helping and comforting "the least of these" as He asked us to do, at home and afar.  Sometimes this means enduring discomfort, inconvenience, hardship far worse than not getting a hot shower or being able to go to Walmart or Starbucks, Muffy.  

Well, the whole premise of being a Duggar is that it's wrong to step outside of yourself in any way, or mix with people who aren't your immediate relatives lest they be devilish and try to destroy you, or go anywhere where your parents and at least a half dozen of your siblings aren't in the same room with you all the time. So the idea that an actual "mission" of just about any kind would be a congenial thing for a Duggar is kind of crazy, when you think about it. Even in its debased S.O.S. form, a mission runs counter to many of the most cherished practices of Duggardom.

The only Duggar tradition that it really fits with is the tradition of high-handedly preaching to all and sundry that Duggar ways are perfect and other ways are tickets to hell. But when you go on an overseas mission the self-righteous preaching only works if you do it in a language that's not English. And spending time and effort to learn such a language also runs counter to all Duggar principles and practices. So even the Duggars' beloved God-bothering doesn't really work "on the mission field."

Edited by Churchhoney
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On 12/10/2016 at 9:58 AM, Churchhoney said:

I'm not entirely sure that would have bothered S.O.S., though. It may have. But it's really the way they advertise themselves, too. Here and there on their website there's a tiny perfunctory mention of some kind of humanitarian activity. But the vast vast majority of it pushes and pushes the -- We save the brown people! theme. And by the exact same means we've seen with Derick's sermon writing and the Dill's sporadic hanging around with people, and so on.

 

True. Only reason I think it's possible they might have been bothered by it is because of how baldly it was stated. It's one thing for them to barely mention humanitarian work--while they're not lying, exactly, they know that potential customers and donors read about their "work" and just assume that humanitarian aid is part of the package. But Derrick--arrogant moron that he is--didn't realize that that omission on SOS's part was deliberate, so when people kept asking him he decided to answer honestly, thinking that his "eloquence" was all that was needed for people to understand and agree.

God, I love it when these people think they're making themselves sound good and instead dig themselves even deeper. Derrick, Jill, and Jessa are particularly good at that. 

1 hour ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Muffy didn't realize that being a missionary full time was a lot different than a missioncation.  In Fundieland, being a "missionary" sounds more respectable than actually not having an actual paying job somewhere or owning one' business, neither of which any of the Duggars were prepared for. The rigors involved in handing out DumDums and doing interpretive dance seemed too much for that pair of DumDums. Sorry Muffy, but to save souls, you actually might need to leave your house and meet locals.

Story of her life. I think she has the same problem with marriage, motherhood, and life outside the compound in general. She went from favorite daughter who naturally enjoyed doing all the things Gothard said girls were allowed to do, to actually being a wife and mother with all the emotional labor involved in those roles, and the reality hasn't matched up to her fantasy. 

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I think Jilly Muffin would have a whole lot more credibility with me if she would just come on out and say that full time  missionary work is just not for her.  Many people get to finally try out what they thought was their dream and it turned out to be a flop.  I know doctors who wish they were doing something else.

There are plenty of needs nearer her to go minister to that would  allow her to speak English and help and make a difference without doing it for show.  It's ok, Jilly, we know midwifery, wifery, maternity, and missionary type work don't really agree with you, but please find your passion.

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It really is absurd that they wasted time and money going to CA to learn to speak Spanish.

There are tons of needy people in English.

Or, take a Spanish class on your own dime before you go. 

Those two accomplished nothing. No one benefited from them being there and they actually cost money. 

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I think Jill's problem is that she wants to inspire people and feel like she's saving souls, but doesn't actually want to do anything real, not now that she got a taste of what that entails. She wants to just show up and inspire people by playing the violin with her siblings. She'd even be ok with being a guest speaker and regurgitating a bunch of Duggarism to an enthralled audience. That's her comfort zone--being special and inspiring just by showing up. Actually having to talk to people as equals? Or even as an effective and empathetic leader (HA!)?  She can't do it. Personally, I think she's incapable by nature, but even if I were being generous I'd say she needs years in the trenches before even attempting to find her passion. Her best bet is to do physical work, and there's absolutely no snark intended there. Even as a child she was the happy homemaker of the family...she liked the cooking and cleaning (though there's no evidence of that in the pictures she posts) and the general routine of managing a large crowd. She could work/volunteer--regularly scheduled work--at a homeless shelter, a soup kitchen, a food bank, a church daycare, etc.  But no, she won't do that, because she's a Duggar and it's her job to spiritually inspire people on a large scale. That's why it was her dream to become a missionary and why the reality sucked so bad for her. It never occurred to her that she would actually have to make people relate to her for her to be an effective missionary, not to mention the physical deprivations. 

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7 hours ago, BradandJanet said:

Rafael should have held out for his very own mud hut. The missionaries might have built him one if they thought that was the only way to snatch his soul. It sounds as if they had to work on him for an extra day anyway.

Given that I watch pathetically little TV, and the one show I'm actually following at the moment (sorry, Duggars) is Supernatural, this took me a moment of figuring what world I was really in before I grasped it.

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On 11/28/2016 at 3:46 PM, Natalie68 said:

My late mother told me at one point in high school the shorter the dress the higher the heel (not always but formal wear?  yes).  I think that combo looks terrible. 

Other way 'round.  "The lower the hemline, the higher the heel."  The heel helps balance out the skirt length.  Fashionistas with too much time on their hands will measure their height with the shoes on from shoulder to floor in centimeters and then divide by 1.618 to figure out how far down from the shoulder the "ideal" hem length falls to match that shoe.

Edited by TomServo
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2 hours ago, lascuba said:

I think Jill's problem is that she wants to inspire people and feel like she's saving souls, but doesn't actually want to do anything real, not now that she got a taste of what that entails.

True. That pretty much holds for all the Duggars, doesn't it? I mean, from JB and M right on down, they're all convinced that their very existence has long been this marvelous ministry. But all it's consisted of, ever, is just them standing around telling people how fabulous they are because they're godly, and implying that everyone should emulate them (in whatever it is that they're doing -- which is actually...nothing).

JB has long thought that just announcing to people that he has 19 kids is some kind of ministry that mightily serves Jesus. They wear shirts about surviving Roe v. Wade and Jinge and Joy have made a stupid video telling people to buy tracts and fake million-dollar bills with which to torment restaurant servers. And occasionally Meechelle and Joshley have gone above and beyond this sort of "positive' approach by loudly condemning people as part of their sermonizing.

But completely idiotic blathering is all that any of them has ever done in the soul-saving arena. Yet I get the impression that every one of them firmly believes that God is keeping them on television because they're such great soul savers. No wonder Dim Jilly was shocked when something more seemed to be asked of her on her "mission" and when she didn't feel comfortably pleased about all she was accomplishing. And she's the only one who's ever tried anything really different. So she's the one who's been most smacked in the face by the inevitable disillusion that the real world would have in store for any of them who actually entered it. (Well, Joshley (and Anna) tried something a bit different. And they got smacked, too.) I don't think Jill's any different from the others in her view of what her life should be about and what her ministry is. To me, it's just that nobody else has ever been in the position of trying it out outside the walls of Duggardom.

They've been accustomed all their lives to think that just their hanging around being holy and pointing their holiness out to people is what God requires of them, the most chosen ones. And there's been no one to tell any of them otherwise, since the only people whose responses they ever get and listen to are the various fame-whoring Duggar hangers on and the leghumpers. And, of course, the message from God they've received when they repeatedly get their offensive TeeVee show eternally renewed. Their publics, both in real life and online, completely reinforce their delusion. Jill got a taste of what it's like when the Duggar Delusion isn't being completely reinforced by "fans." And it wasn't pretty. Wouldn't be pretty for any of the others, either, as far as I can see. But I doubt anybody else will try it. As long as they stick to tiny U.S. churches in the bible belt and family camps and the like, there'll be U.S. famewhores and fans who'll provide the applause.

Edited by Churchhoney
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6 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Being a missionary/ministry means going where one is called to do His work (charity, kindness, compassion, medical care, clothing, shoes, education, nourishing food, shelter, clean water, helping to plant crops, harvest them...), helping and comforting "the least of these" as He asked us to do, at home and afar.  Sometimes this means enduring discomfort, inconvenience, hardship far worse than not getting a hot shower or being able to go to Walmart or Starbucks, Muffy.  

I agree.  All along I've been perplexed at their constant complaints about lack of AC, hot water, being a "target", the "danger" they endure, the rigors of learning Spanish, etc. what did they think full time missionary work would involve?  And then gave up after a few months (which included frequent face timing, visits from friends and family, and trips back to the US, with no mention of a return date.)

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5 minutes ago, awaken said:

I agree.  All along I've been perplexed at their constant complaints about lack of AC, hot water, being a "target", the "danger" they endure, the rigors of learning Spanish, etc. what did they think full time missionary work would involve?  And then gave up after a few months (which included frequent face timing, visits from friends and family, and trips back to the US, with no mention of a return date.)

Exactly! Most missionaries don't get to see their loved ones for years, depending on where they are.  It's only been fairly recently in human history that people get to face time their friends and loved ones.  People used to wait several months for a letter from a loved one to know that they were still alive. Jilly for all her specialness of being a Duggar really has NO clue, and is no better than most self absorbed millennials out there.

Basically, Jill and Derick constantly had a steady stream of her relatives all the time they were down in CA.  Leaving a sheltered, fearful, never been on her own ever girl locked in a house with a toddler all day while her husband does interpretive dance to play missionary to convert Catholics to Fundy, had to have been hard on Jill. Just that level of isolation would have made anyone depressed.

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And one small problem with Muffy's post: babies' eyes are sealed until week 25 or thereabouts. She just assumes that Jubilee would have been another blue-eyed Duggar. There are a couple with hazel eyes! 

Cathy posted a pic of something she made called Pickle Soup. But the pickle lovers weren't there to actually partake in it. Jill actually commented that Izzy had eaten pickles earlier in the day (wherever they are). I'm not going to post the pic, because the stuff looks absolutely disgusting. 

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4 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Cathy posted a pic of something she made called Pickle Soup. But the pickle lovers weren't there to actually partake in it. Jill actually commented that Izzy had eaten pickles earlier in the day (wherever they are). I'm not going to post the pic, because the stuff looks absolutely disgusting. 

Thanks for taking one for the team.  It sounds absolutely revolting.

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I would really like to know the dynamics of these conversion missions. Do they befriend someone with the intent to convert and if the conversion isn't happening, move on to the next one? Is there a time limit? Did Rafael think to himself he better jump in the ocean posthaste and become Christian of these folks won't visit his mom anymore? 

I'd also like to know how Jill would respond if someone challenged her beliefs with their own.

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1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I would really like to know the dynamics of these conversion missions. Do they befriend someone with the intent to convert and if the conversion isn't happening, move on to the next one? Is there a time limit? Did Rafael think to himself he better jump in the ocean posthaste and become Christian of these folks won't visit his mom anymore? 

I'd also like to know how Jill would respond if someone challenged her beliefs with their own.

Based on a few firsthand accounts I've read, such as from the Shrader lunatic, I expect your description is pretty accurate.

And I think that not one single Duggar would have any idea what to do if someone challenged their beliefs with other beliefs, don't you? They'd just think "Devil comin' at me!" and go running. As far as I know, we've only ever seen Duggar adjacent Bin attempt to listen and respond to others' beliefs. And he's always been completely at sea with it. ....

And the Duggars themselves aren't any brighter than Bin, as far as I can tell. Plus, if anything, they're less well informed (believe it or not) and, unlike Bin, they have absolutely no willingness to listen to what anybody else has to say. His fumblings in this direction make plain that he doesn't in the least understand even his own beliefs, when it comes to the point of actually discussing them with compare and contrast and so on. And I'm a thousand percent sure that the Duggs don't understand them any better. Not only is the Duggar ethic firmly opposed to respecting other people, it's also firmly opposed to the reason that you'd need to actually understand anything about your own principles and beliefs.

I do expect that both Derick and Jeremy have probably discussed their beliefs with other people a bit more and understand a bit more about their own faiths. But only a bit. A little bit. And I have about zero confidence that any of that little bit will ever rub off on any actual Duggars (although it might on Bin). Because the Duggars are idiots and have spent their whole lives being brainwashed into the notion that their brand of idiocy is actually high seriousness and intelligence -- that the proper disposition of the world is for all others to listen to them, since they're following Daddy, and never ever ever the other way around.  .... Maybe Jinger, Jana, somebody is more open than this. But we haven't seen any evidence of it as far as I know.

Edited by Churchhoney
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3 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I would really like to know the dynamics of these conversion missions. Do they befriend someone with the intent to convert and if the conversion isn't happening, move on to the next one? Is there a time limit? Did Rafael think to himself he better jump in the ocean posthaste and become Christian of these folks won't visit his mom anymore? 

I'd also like to know how Jill would respond if someone challenged her beliefs with their own.

And is there any way she could have these complex discussions in Spanish?

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12 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

And one small problem with Muffy's post: babies' eyes are sealed until week 25 or thereabouts. She just assumes that Jubilee would have been another blue-eyed Duggar. There are a couple with hazel eyes! 

Cathy posted a pic of something she made called Pickle Soup. But the pickle lovers weren't there to actually partake in it. Jill actually commented that Izzy had eaten pickles earlier in the day (wherever they are). I'm not going to post the pic, because the stuff looks absolutely disgusting. 

How'd they know they eye colour? Did they peel a paper thin eyelid back and take a look? 

2 minutes ago, Absolom said:

It doesn't look very appetizing.  I'm guessing it's mainly another soup with some pickles thrown in.  That's what it looked like to me.

584ef197e1082_Picklesoup.jpg.17107ab7653

Mmmm, reflux! Looks like something Rachael Ray concocts on her Liberace stove. 

Edited by Kokapetl
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LOL, I forgot that you could hide stuff. 

I've slept on it, and it's still disgusting.

eta: Koka, your post snuck in just as I hit reply. To answer your query w/r/t Jubilee's eye color, don't forget who wrote that post. We mere mortals wouldn't see the eyes for another seven weeks, around the time of Josie's birth. But she's Dr. Jill, Medicine Woman; she thinks her NARM exam makes her a licensed midwife. 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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Just more proof that "Midwife" Jill doesn't know jack about embryonic/fetal development. Im sure that comforts all the women she "helps" deliver. She never stayed at a Holiday Inn so how can she be an expert?

 

I have the plague and cannot spell today

Edited by Chicklet
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2 hours ago, Kokapetl said:

How'd they know they eye colour? Did they peel a paper thin eyelid back and take a look? 

Mmmm, reflux! Looks like something Rachael Ray concocts on her Liberace stove. 

My mom makes something similar (Polish recipe...it uses half-sour brined pickles rather than those done in vinegar). I'm not a big pickle fan, but I don't hate this. The potatoes and cream rather bring it together. My husband and kids all really like it.

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Maybe someone should tell him that scraping his hair back into the cutting-edge-cool manbun will not only cause accelerated male pattern baldness (it's true), it does nothing to disguise a significant weight loss and the fact his suit is hanging off of him.

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I'm genuinely worried about him. As much as I dislike Jill, I also do feel sorry for her, because she has gained weight since Israel (not a lot, and still looks great!) while her husband honestly looks like a Holocaust survivor, and that can't make her feel attractive. 

ETA: oh my gosh, look at his hands! I had a friend who was anorexic, and his looked exactly like that. 

Edited by Christina87
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21 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

It's been speculated about before ... The pic is of a typical hand compared to the hands of someone diagnosed with Marfan's.

marfan-syndrome_300x174_M2100016.jpg

Marfans exists on a spectrum, so unless someone exhibits multiple symptoms and  they are really very obvious, the diagnosis could be missed.  Doctors usually know more about it to look for it now, but if it wasn't diagnosed in childhood, then docs normally don't go looking for it.  It usually causes jaw alignment and orthopedic and joint problems, but more insidious is the risk for sudden aortic dissection.

I think if I had Boob and Xanaxia for in laws and a stage 5 clinger spouse, the stress would make me waste away to nothing....

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I have a couple of possible ideas as to why Derick flew to San Francisco: 

1. To see a medical specialist for whatever condition (regarding his mouth/jaw) and/or illness he has.

2. Or is it possible that Babe and Jing returned to the U.S. through SF and the Dullards and Seewalds surprised them there - for part of the show? And then they all continued on together to Laredo (again as part of the show) to help the newlyweds get set up in their apartment. This seems a little crazy, because why not just surprise them in Laredo, but it's an idea. 

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4 hours ago, OpieTaylor said:

I've seen a cheeseburger soup with pickles in it on a menu at a sports bab

26 minutes ago, OpieTaylor said:

I have a couple of possible ideas as to why Derick flew to San Francisco: 

1. To see a medical specialist for whatever condition (regarding his mouth/jaw) and/or illness he has.

2. Or is it possible that Babe and Jing returned to the U.S. through SF and the Dullards and Seewalds surprised them there - for part of the show? And then they all continued on together to Laredo (again as part of the show) to help the newlyweds get set up in their apartment. This seems a little crazy, because why not just surprise them in Laredo, but it's an idea. 

Ignore the cheeseburger stuff, rogue box!

Addressing the San Francisco issue, Derick said it was a layover. Not to mention, there's no way JinJer went on a month-long honeymoon, especially after they reportedly nixed New Zealand after the earthquake. 

I think JinJer are settling into Laredo, and the other two couples are in a vacation somewhere, faking affection for one another for TLC cameras.

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Quote

I think if I had Boob and Xanaxia for in laws and a stage 5 clinger spouse, the stress would make me waste away to nothing....

BUT HE DOESN'T HAVE TO WORK!!!!  WORK!!  you know, that thing you and you and you have to do? That said, I hope he is ok.  I  assumed he got used to not eating because of his jaw surgery.

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If he had to work, he could escape his in laws and his suctioned on stage 5 clinger wife...that's why most of us work...to get out the house aaaaaaaaaand to pay for said house.

Remember how Boob grilled him about how evil it would be to use a credit card for an emergency car repair, but Boob doesn't seem at all bothered by Derick's lack of motivation to launch and support his wife and son like a good Fundy husband? I can tell you that my mom wouldn't be at all on board with my hubs being a hippie for Jesus...she'd want him to get up off his ass and get a job.

These are Duggars...they can't see their glaring hypocrisy for all their speshulness.

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I have also noticed the hands and feet on Derick look strange.  They are so large and out of proportion to the rest of his body.  I have two tall teens (6'6" and 6'4") and their hands & feet are in proportion to their body.  

Derick's hands look like a stick figure drawing with very large hands drawn on. To me, that indicates that he is TOO THIN. 

I love how snarkers are more concerned about Derick than his fans.   (Of course, we don't know all their life details. Hoping he is getting medical help)

Edited by Marigold
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I think it's really sad that she's so preoccupied with having another kid...doesn't she have anything else she wants to do with her life but push out babies?

She's got one already, and he seems a bit much for her to manage.  Silly Jill,y, get thee a hobby/education/ skill.

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I also don't understand the rush to have another one. Isn't God in charge of their brood size? What if God sees that there is obviously something wrong with Derick, and that Jill is stressed, and thinks they should wait awhile? Who is she to question God?

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1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

I also don't understand the rush to have another one. Isn't God in charge of their brood size? What if God sees that there is obviously something wrong with Derick, and that Jill is stressed, and thinks they should wait awhile? Who is she to question God?

1 hour ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

I think it's really sad that she's so preoccupied with having another kid...doesn't she have anything else she wants to do with her life but push out babies?

She's got one already, and he seems a bit much for her to manage.  Silly Jill,y, get thee a hobby/education/ skill.

I have a coworker who is trying for their second child. She has been very disappointed each month for the past few months. I just can't imagine the let down these girls feel when they're not pregnant each month because they believe they are army builders for God. What a fucked up and crazy cycle of peeing on a test stick, peeing on a test stick, peeing on a test stick, getting pregnant, giving birth and starting all over again. And then the stress of ridding these beings of sin.

Edited by GeeGolly
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