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Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!


Message added by CM-CrispMtAir,

Shout out to everyone participating in the conversation about Jill’s miscarriage/stillbirth. You’re navigating a difficult topic with respect and thoughtfulness and your contributions are kind, considerate, constructive and informative. 

Thank you. 💚💚

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eta: I also wonder at the Duggars and social anxiety. Remember how poorly Jessa did when she had to approach total strangers and ask them for the roses they held? Muffy seems a bit more extroverted, but that may just be in her comfort zone among like-minded people. Jill could very well be suffering from panic attacks at the thought of ideas such as classroom learning from Catholic teachers. 

 

Am I dreaming, or was there a social media post from the Dillards claiming that they were doing 20 hours a WEEK of language instruction? What we saw last night what with Derick shambling down the street, and Muffy's hour-long home "lesson" certainly flies in the face of their earlier claim. Derick also said last night that they were only doing one month of this before spending 8 or 9 months in the actual mission field. 

 

We know that the SOS missioncations just recently happened. Is he implying that was part of their "mission" work, given the timing of when the CA footage was taped? Because from what I've seen on SM, Jilly and Derick are still ensconced in the comfy Antigua digs, certainly not out in the field with fewer amenities (which Derick claimed would be the case). 

 

Is Jill so difficult a student that they had to put off actual "mission" work for the poor girl to learn more than "Donde esta la bana?" (sorry, I don't know how to do a tilde) 

Edited by Sew Sumi
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Really? Those rumors of Jim Bob having a problem just got a lot more weight...

I think it's obvious that Jim Bob had major sexual problems and controlling himself in general. I mean LOOK at him. He screams sexual dysfunction. I get creeper vibes from him too. Jim Bob and Mullet remind me of Fred and Rosemary West.

Bringing this back to Derick and Jill, I look at this so-called "mission" as nothing more than a vanity project. Derick and Jill go to sleep in their cushy little apartment and pat themselves on the back because they feel they're making a difference in Central America doing whatever it is they do there. They can be their smug, pious selves while acting better than the heathens.

Edited by Joe Jitsu913
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Bingo. She's terrified. She has no idea how to interact one on one with an adult non-relative, and on top of that she isn't really sure she's capable of learning Spanish. So she brings Israel to the lesson, wide awake and raring to go, to sabotage the entire endeavor. Then she can tell herself (and everyone else) that it was just too hard to manage with a baby.

If she doesn't really try, she can't really fail.

 

100% agree. My first question was "Why doesn't Jill schedule her Spanish lesson for Israel's nap time?" She really is looking slower and slower lately. Seriously. she clearly can't manage, using Duggar ways, in the real world. Any other mother - anywhere - would have planned for the baby to be asleep or off with Miss Cathy or something else when the Spanish teacher came a-calling. I think you are spot-on, Jen. Jill has serious questions about her own ability to learn Spanish, and might even be questioning her so-called home education. They'll be back in Arkansas permanently within a year, if Jill gets her way. 

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100% agree. My first question was "Why doesn't Jill schedule her Spanish lesson for Israel's nap time?" She really is looking slower and slower lately. Seriously. she clearly can't manage, using Duggar ways, in the real world. Any other mother - anywhere - would have planned for the baby to be asleep or off with Miss Cathy or something else when the Spanish teacher came a-calling. I think you are spot-on, Jen. Jill has serious questions about her own ability to learn Spanish, and might even be questioning her so-called home education. They'll be back in Arkansas permanently within a year, if Jill gets her way. 

What a rude awakening for her. Per family comments, Jill is the rule follower (& tattle-tale), Jill is a great buddy, Jill uses medical terminology ... and here she is on her own having difficulty managing with one baby and unable to learn the language. What an awful reality the real world is for this once 'capable' golden child.

 

It's like a kid who graduates at the top of his class, then goes to college and realizes that there are thousands who are smarter than him. Only worse because Jill was at the top of nothing really, and most likely far below most.

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The normal time for studying is about 20 hours a week in Antigua.

I find it interesting that they didn't repeat this during the episode. It might have given Muffy's experience with Izzy wiggling around during the lesson more gravitas. What viewers actually saw was a quickie lesson conducted while the baby could have been napping. If this woman is coming over 20 hours a week to tutor Jill, why not say so? I am curious why TLC, who certainly knew the 20 hours a week standard that Derick himself had alluded to in a blog or Insta post, decided to show the viewing public a much different picture. 

 

IF they're doing 20 hours. I also thought Jill was going to school with Derick when he made his initial post. Something must have happened that changed all that and, as a result, is keeping them in Antigua longer than originally anticipated. [cough]ClingyJill[/cough]

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To be fair to Jill, this whole thing was staged by TLC in order to have something to show. We don't really know if this is how all her Spanish lessons go.

 

I'm not sure why I'm defending Jill here because in general I find her pretty annoying, but as far as learning goes she is the ONLY Duggar child (possibly bar Joseph) that has even attempted to properly learn anything. She did study Spanish with Marjorie's mom and she did finish her lay midwife training however subpar it was. I can't snark on her for wanting to learn things but lacking the understanding and capability to do it, because that is the fault of her parents and her upbringing.

 

If Jill had been brought up in a normal home I could see her being that kid who isn't naturally supersmart but does her homework and extra credits religiously just to get B's.

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What a rude awakening for her. Per family comments, Jill is the rule follower (& tattle-tale), Jill is a great buddy, Jill uses medical terminology ... and here she is on her own having difficulty managing with one baby and unable to learn the language. What an awful reality the real world is for this once 'capable' golden child.

 

It's like a kid who graduates at the top of his class, then goes to college and realizes that there are thousands who are smarter than him. Only worse because Jill was at the top of nothing really, and most likely far below most.

 

And this is something that Josh has learned in the past few years as well. It's hard on them when they learn it. .... Lucky Jessa, by contrast, gets to hang out with Ben all day, and he probably can't make anybody feel inferior.

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To be fair to Jill, this whole thing was staged by TLC in order to have something to show. We don't really know if this is how all her Spanish lessons go.

 

I'm not sure why I'm defending Jill here because in general I find her pretty annoying, but as far as learning goes she is the ONLY Duggar child (possibly bar Joseph) that has even attempted to properly learn anything. She did study Spanish with Marjorie's mom and she did finish her lay midwife training however subpar it was. I can't snark on her for wanting to learn things but lacking the understanding and capability to do it, because that is the fault of her parents and her upbringing.

 

If Jill had been brought up in a normal home I could see her being that kid who isn't naturally supersmart but does her homework and extra credits religiously just to get B's.

I agree. Her parents have contributed to her lack of knowledge and experience and have also contributed to her over confidence. It's got to be a shocker to have the false cozy womb of life pulled out from underneath her.

 

And an honorable mention goes out to JD, who has learned to pilot a plane.

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I wonder if Jill didn't have her own version of the laundry room breakdown after the shitshow began right after Izzys birth. She just isn't the same bubbly giggly girl at all. Her eyes don't shine, she has lost the sparkle, so to speak. Also wonder if she isn't medicated..I'm not sure if that is a possibility while nursing or actively trying to get pregnant, but I'm getting a medicated vibe off of her compared to how she used to be. Not everyone deals with trauma the same way. Maybe Jessa really IS over it all and doesn't feel it was a big deal, but i kinda think it WAS a big deal to Jill.

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eta: I also wonder at the Duggars and social anxiety. Remember how poorly Jessa did when she had to approach total strangers and ask them for the roses they held? Muffy seems a bit more extroverted, but that may just be in her comfort zone among like-minded people. Jill could very well be suffering from panic attacks at the thought of ideas such as classroom learning from Catholic teachers. 

 

Am I dreaming, or was there a social media post from the Dillards claiming that they were doing 20 hours a WEEK of language instruction? What we saw last night what with Derick shambling down the street, and Muffy's hour-long home "lesson" certainly flies in the face of their earlier claim.

 

Maybe it's 20 hours between all 3 of them. An hour a day for Muffy, an hour a day for Iz (so that's 10 hours/week for the two of them right?) and then 10 more actual classroom hours for Derick.

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I just thought of another reason Derick might like CA. Muffy can't interrupt him if they're speaking Spanish because she doesn't speak it. In general though she really doesn't seem to be as abrasively stomping all over his conversation this season. I'm glad she learned that helpmeet lesson. Its really just good manners.

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What we actually saw some time ago were the requirements of being a missionary from S.Baptists or some group, and they included requirements that the wife needed to fulfill including some college and language skills.  Jill hasn't and isn't going to get those and thus won't qualify ever without some major inventive language around how she is fact has qualifications by life experience (ho ho she has none) but organizations can change the game when they want.  The idea for Derrick to be an English teacher in another country in pretty good.  I've met a number of people who do that and did not know the language of the country they were sent to.

Edited by bigskygirl
Off topic political
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To be fair to Jill, this whole thing was staged by TLC in order to have something to show. We don't really know if this is how all her Spanish lessons go.

You're right about that, and it's always good to remember we don't know what gets edited out. (Although I'd find it somewhat more credible if she were ever shown competently speaking Spanish.)

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If they would have just supplied a simple sentence or two about what their typical day of education actually looks like, we wouldn't be having this discussion! If the 20 hour thing is actually true, it would have made them look better for crissakes! 

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I call total, complete, 100% bullshit on JillyMuffyn ever - EVER - absorbing and retaining anything more than a 13-14 year old high school freshman with ONE semester of Spanish would be able to produce. 

 

Jesus in a sidecar - she's had YEARS of lessons, has traveled quite extensively to many, many Spanish-speaking countries, and has, by their reports, been "immersed" for months now, and she can barely gurgle out "Si" and "Gracias" ?! FFS.

 

I can think of at least a dozen Spanish phrases that roll out of my mouth as naturally as "Hello" does, and I've never taken Spanish

 

I swear - I'm not being a smarty-pants here, or crowing about some massive intellect that I possess. Far from that, believe me. It's just a natural, normal part of being part of the world when you have eyes and ears and a brain that some Spanish is going to make it into your head by osmosis. For Heaven's sake, EVERYBODY knows how to say yes and hello and thank you in Spanish. And French. And probably even Russian, nyet ???

 

It is beyond ridiculous to me that they continue to stay in CA when it's painfully obvious they should just give up the ghost and quit, or maybe just have Jill quit and Derick can continue, as he seems happy there (a thousand miles from Duggarland, no doubt) and has an affinity for the language. 

 

That way she can stay home and just take care of her ONE child, which seems so taxing to her she'll probably still have help. 

 

Oh, JB and Michelle, what a very dim, dull, incompetent little blob you've raised. She's only able to be part of a couple that mirrors YOU, but they don't have the help, education, built-in buddy system, Gothard stranglehold, or TLC money to make that happen.  

 

If Jill had gone "overseas" (I still laugh at that) financed by donors to become, let's say...a chef, but had repeatedly proven over months and months that she can't cook - well, they'd be screaming for a refund. I know I would. 

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If they would have just supplied a simple sentence or two about what their typical day of education actually looks like, we wouldn't be having this discussion! If the 20 hour thing is actually true, it would have made them look better for crissakes! 

 

Of course, there are also the editing decisions. It seems pretty clear that the producers have always thought that the Duggar schooling was too boring, for example, and there were probably lots of other things they didn't show. Factual stuff mostly, maybe. .... So it's hard to know what they said or did that didn't get shot or got left on the cutting room floor. And of course there's other stuff that the producers put them up to doing. That's extended to world traveling, for the family as a whole, so there are certainly little things that are producer-invented as well.... The show goes for drama -- so I'm guessing that siccing a baby on a tutor and seeing Derick hop happily away from the house seemed like the dramatic, gossip-inducing stuff. And they were certainly right about that.

 

TLC isn't in the business of a documentary here. I think that ratings considerations based on the demographics this show has mean they're in the business of making people look palatable and noncontroversial in a political/religious way but as juicy and controversial as possible in other ways. That would be the way to keep from alerting leghumper watchers to the fact that the Duggars' beliefs are truly out there while giving hatewatchers things to be outraged about and obsessed with. I wouldn't be surprised if the truth is a little less damning than has been implied. (not a lot less damning, probably, but a little)

Edited by Churchhoney
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Growing up in that malevolently protective bubble has done them no favors. In fact, I think it's ruined them. 

 

 

Exactly. And the longer this damnable show stays on the air, the worse it gets for everyone. Not only have the kids been completely deluded (deprived, abused, manipulated, suckered) by their parents but they've been additionally deluded and warped -- to a huge huge degree -- by being on tv. Having the show gives them money and, maybe even worse, fame -- which warps everybody -- that they never would have had in real life and it also requires them to manipulate most of what they say and do into tv-ready commentary or teaser material. The apparent "necessity" in their home for such self-editing is a terrible terrible lesson that's right up there in warping potential with a bunch of the Gothard stuff.

 

And the longer they stay on the air the less time they have in their lives to readjust to something like normal life, which they will have to do eventually. Between Jim Bob, Michelle, and the world of reality tv, including its audiences, 19 kids have been destroyed. And now they're going on to destroy a new generation. Sickening.

Edited by Churchhoney
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Without the show existing, Jill wouldn't have had the opportunity to have her bubble burst by a missioncation in Guatemala. Being poor won't necessarily make her or anyone else in that family wiser, less insular, or "better".

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Don't people get "tourista" in Guatemala?  Seriously.  My sister went down few a couple of summers to a Mexican school and boarded with locals who only spoke Spanish.  Both times, despite using only bottled water for brushing teeth, she ended up at a local hospital (taken by the families she boarded with) for severe runs and vomiting in her case.  I trust her having the runs but the vomiting is suspect as being of the water since she has a gag reflex that is just annoying.  Like, stay home, don't even visit me with that gag going on.  However, she really was sick from the water including water in foods.  If it's better is central America I might consider going, but this all turned me off to all but day trips to Mexico.

Edited by Micks Picks
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Micks Picks, my understanding is you can even get sick from eating produce washed in local water, do you know if that's true? At least Jill was raised on boxed, preserved, processed crap. She should be fine eating canned ravioli and Ramen noodles for a year. Derick might struggle, he seems like more of a foodie than Jill.

Edited by BitterApple
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Micks Picks, my understanding is you can even get sick from eating produce washed in local water, do you know if that's true? At least Jill was raised on boxed, preserved, processed crap. She should be fine eating canned ravioli and Ramen noodles for a year. Derick might struggle, he seems like more of a foodie than Jill.

 

Derick's already spent two years in another country, though. So he probably knows how to navigate this. If she cooks food well, peels everything with peels and eats everything hot and fresh off the stove, they should be fine ... And you do generally get used to the bacteria in a new environment, over time. So if they stay long enough ....

Edited by Churchhoney
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Yes you can get sick from washing food.  Mexico is off limits for me.  When husband wanted to go I said bye, have a good time.  Which he did.  I don't need that kind of risk.  The water is particularly bad there.  I thought maybe the water was better in Central America, I don't know.  I know a lot of people go there to Costa Rica and other places for vacation or vacation home and seem to be ok.  Many people from here go to resorts in Mexico regularly but they drink tons of booze and doubt they'd know what they were sick from.

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Yes you can get sick from washing food.  Mexico is off limits for me.  When husband wanted to go I said bye, have a good time.  Which he did.  I don't need that kind of risk.  The water is particularly bad there.  I thought maybe the water was better in Central America, I don't know.  I know a lot of people go there to Costa Rica and other places for vacation or vacation home and seem to be ok.  Many people from here go to resorts in Mexico regularly but they drink tons of booze and doubt they'd know what they were sick from.

Even in the resorts? Recently? We went for a week two years ago I think it was and no one got sick. My son goes very year and no one in their large group ever gets sick. Mexico is a big country. Maybe in some very rural areas?

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In Counting On, it appeared that the pool house OFFICIALLY belongs to Derick and Jill. Not only was their stuff scattered around in boxes, but the handful of framed photos displayed throughout the house were their wedding photos, etc. I guess they're trading in one mansion for another. It must be nice to be daddy's favorite. Meanwhile, Jessa and Anna just can't catch a break in the housing department...

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I think the pool house is the new "filming" house because the new series is so different from the old one, dontcha know!  And the easiest way to turn it into a home was to move Jill and Derick's stuff into it.  I'm sure it will be their home when they are around.

 

I suppose they could move Josh and Anna into it when he comes home but I don't know if JB will give Josh that much freedom.  It might be back to the boys dorm for him!

 

JB has sold Derick and Jill's other house, and he has sold Josh's house.  Of course, he probably has some other dumpy rental he can flip for Josh and Anna, if they survive as a couple.

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I know I have a very small mouth, but don't remember exactly the diagnosis. As a child, I had numerous permanent teeth pulled. At least 8 at one time. It wasn't all that traumatic. I feel so lucky now that my parents made sure all that work was done then and not now!

TY for the post. I was wondering what on earth they did in the days before palate expanding surgery. My mouth was crowded so the teeth by my eye teeth were pulled, and now my teeth are as straight as if I had braces. I hope Derrick isn't being scammed into having unnecessary surgery.

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Of course, there are also the editing decisions. It seems pretty clear that the producers have always thought that the Duggar schooling was too boring, for example, and there were probably lots of other things they didn't show.

 

I think we have a pretty good idea what education the Duggars did receive thanks to all of their interviews. Studying world cultures, as well as English grammar, clearly weren't high on the list.

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What our orthodontist did was lay out all the options and then we together as a group picked the path we wanted to follow.  Pulling teeth, attempting palate expansion, and surgery were all options in our daughter's case.  That is what should have been done for Derick is to lay out all the options with the advantages and disadvantages of each for him to make the final choice.  Pulling teeth to make room in the mouth is a quick way to fix the problem, but it isn't always the best in the long run.  Depending on other facial features it doesn't always lead to a good overall facial appearance either leading some people to then need plastic surgery.

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https://www.instagram.com/p/_p2ohHrsx2/

Derrick is obsessed with that PistalPete. And why is Izzy looking like David Waller, here???

https://www.instagram.com/p/_p3Rfnrsyz/

A funny comment on them always looking dirty! Jill's belly is much more flat in this photo.

Pistol Pete and Nepal are probably the most fun Derick ever had. It's probably not surprising that he loves thinking about being Pistol Pete and cherishes hopes of  working somewhere abroad as a half-missionary or whatever. .... At least he knows about some of life's pleasures in the real world and doesn't look as if he's committed to denying them to his children or to himself in the future if he can help it. It'll be uphill work in Duggardom to keep thoughts like that alive, but maybe he can.

Edited by Churchhoney
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I think Izzy has a good chance of going to college because he has one important thing - a penis. If Jill and Derrick had a girl I don't think we'd see her wearing the Pistol Pete onesies.

The Pistol Pete emblem on the onsie is a sticker (They have a set of 12 stickers- One for each month of Izzy's first year)

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...aaaaannnnd cue the FB comments from leghumpers just BEGGING us heathens to say how unsafe that is !!!

 

Which it is. To me, or at least unless both parents were standing right-the-hell-there ready to intervene immediately if anything happened. Which I assume they were, but still...

 

It soon devolves into a veritable swamp of defensiveness about blanket training, bad spelling, bad grammar, and Random Capitalization that made my Head Hurt. 

 

Oh, JillyMuffyn, you reckless, feckless, barefoot, arrogant, dim Jesus Hippy. Your "fans" are doing you no favors...

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...aaaaannnnd cue the FB comments from leghumpers just BEGGING us heathens to say how unsafe that is !!!

 

Which it is. To me, or at least unless both parents were standing right-the-hell-there ready to intervene immediately if anything happened. Which I assume they were, but still...

 

It soon devolves into a veritable swamp of defensiveness about blanket training, bad spelling, bad grammar, and Random Capitalization that made my Head Hurt. 

 

Oh, JillyMuffyn, you reckless, feckless, barefoot, arrogant, dim Jesus Hippy. Your "fans" are doing you no favors...

 

While I guess everybody misses the point that they're in Guatemala. Being photographed in a hammock is pretty much a requirement.

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Bolding mine

...aaaaannnnd cue the FB comments from leghumpers just BEGGING us heathens to say how unsafe that is !!!

 

Which it is. To me, or at least unless both parents were standing right-the-hell-there ready to intervene immediately if anything happened. Which I assume they were, but still...

 

It soon devolves into a veritable swamp of defensiveness about blanket training, bad spelling, bad grammar, and Random Capitalization that made my Head Hurt. 

 

Oh, JillyMuffyn, you reckless, feckless, barefoot, arrogant, dim Jesus Hippy. Your "fans" are doing you no favors...

And let's not forget the minimizing of criminal behavior.

From the FB comments:

"It is so nice seeing Jill and Jessa in their show Counting On. Every family goes through tough times but unfortunately your family's troubles get aired out like laundry to dry. God bless you and thank you for letting people see that their are awesome Christian people in the world!!! Have a blessed Christmas and happy New Years!!!

It was jes' tough times and troubles, y'all!

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Bolding mine

And let's not forget the minimizing of criminal behavior.

From the FB comments:

"It is so nice seeing Jill and Jessa in their show Counting On. Every family goes through tough times but unfortunately your family's troubles get aired out like laundry to dry. God bless you and thank you for letting people see that their are awesome Christian people in the world!!! Have a blessed Christmas and happy New Years!!!

It was jes' tough times and troubles, y'all!

Well, according to Jill, every family they know has a teenage son who can't keep his dirty paws off little girls, so it's like, totally, normal. Just a bump in the road.

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